rSlash - r/Maliciouscompliance "OBEY ME" "It'll Cost You Thousands, But Sure!"
Episode Date: May 13, 2021r/Maliciouscompliance OP does IT work for a dentist office, and for some stupid reason the office is paying for a bunch of email licenses that are a complete waste of money. OP and his team disables t...he licenses to save the client money, but the client decides that OP screwed everything up and demands that ALL emails get a premium license. OP warns that this will cost them literally thousands of dollars a month, but the idiot doesn't listen so this malicious compliance will cost him! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit.
Today's subreddit is R-Slash malicious compliance where a stupid IT manager gets himself fired.
Our next Reddit post is from StressedFart.
A few years ago at my previous job, I was a senior
technician and a managed service provider of IT services. We were a small company and we
were often yesmen to just about anybody who would offer us money to come fix their problems.
The owner of our company wouldn't push back against clients who made crazy demands,
were overly cheap or were just very disrespectful. This lets us oftentimes doing tasks that
were outside of our normal scope, at cost, and a lot of times being cussed out for no
good reason. One of the programs we supported was Microsoft 365, which obviously is very
commonly used for email services. One of our clients was a decently sized dental company.
They had about 10 locations and were growing. Customers loved them and we often took pleasure going on-site because it was heaven dealing
with such polite people in contrast to what we had to deal with with most of our time
otherwise.
They would even buy us lunch if we happened to be on-site during Friday lunchtime.
It was great!
They used Microsoft 365 services which was total overkill. They paid $20 per user per month when most employees barely even checked email, let alone
made an Excel document.
They wouldn't take our recommendation to use essentials at $5 per user instead.
Also, they had a decently high turnover rate because it was a college type town.
Their student employees would come and go.
The IT director of this company, who was pretty
bad at his job, called us one day cussing because there were a bunch of mailboxes that weren't licensed.
We tried to explain that these were shared mailboxes from employees who had left. Doing so allows
us to remove the license of the mailbox while keeping all the mail intact and very easily accessible
if we need to delegate access to someone who needs to review. You basically get to archive the mailbox for free.
He barely even let us speak, and the tech who was on the phone with him was so flustered,
so I took over the call.
Using my best, well-seasoned customer service charm, I tried to explain the situation
to him to no avail.
They had a 180 unused email left over from the employees who
had quit, and he wanted them all converted to premium email accounts at 20 bucks per
month each. To be clear, that's $3,600 and reoccurring monthly fees to turn on email accounts
for employees who no longer work there. He resorted to personally insulting me, telling me that
I'm just a tech who got promoted too fast, and I should try a four year school next time,
and he demanded that it get done right away with no specifics on how it gets done.
Bless your heart, man. Okay, we'll do it. Luckily, we record the calls. Also, I should point
out that this company has a policy that we can't
use PowerShell, which for those who don't know is a time-saving programming tool.
I begged them repeatedly to let us use PowerShell in the past to no avail. So, we ordered
pizza for the office and got to work. We converted every last email to a premium account and
licensed them. It was a long but fun night of work.
A month or so rolls by and our accountants
and dollar invoices to our customers.
The dentist IT guy called us three minutes
after he received his invoice and he had blown a gasket.
He finally saw the bill for the additional 180 email
licenses plus taxes and fees.
He was threatening to sue me and my two co-workers if we didn't fix it.
One redeeming quality about our total pushover owner is that he did not take Kylie to someone
insulting his workers directly.
He took it personally because he interviewed everyone himself.
So we begged him to listen to the recorded call, and he did so.
He did not like what he heard on that phone call.
He didn't give in to his demands, and he even added a little razzle dazzle that we hadn't seen before.
He pointed out that since it was written policy not to use PowerShell, we should have
built the request as a project, since they demanded to be done in such a short time and it was not
a normal support request. That means that until they paid us for both of these projects, we wouldn't touch their
broken emails.
Our project rate was $125 an hour for junior techs and 175 for senior techs.
All together, it was going to be about 12 hours of pay all at the senior rate.
This IT moron didn't know that the owner of his company and the owner of my company were friends for nearly two decades.
They would often play golf together.
We got the owners of both companies to come to our office and before they even said hello,
we played the full phone call for each of these owners.
The owner of the dental company was absolutely shocked at what he heard.
The IT idiot was pale, why does he sat there and didn't move a muscle?
The owner apologized profusely to the techs, and it seemed like he was almost in tears.
He wrote a check to pay for our invoice, and we agreed to undo the work for free because
he was a really good client of ours and was always nice.
The owner gave us each $100 gift cards the next week and bought a
slunch in our own office a few times all out of his own pocket. The IT idiot was fired as soon
as the owner got back to the office, and the owner entrusted us to fix his email systems.
The owner listened to every recommendation of ours, including reducing the license type for
the majority of their workers. He seemed confused as to why he ever had premium email accounts in the first place.
That is the one company I truly miss at my last job.
He was such a good client.
I feel like I give this advice a lot, but I'm gonna give it again because apparently people
don't listen.
Never miss with the IT guys.
Our next credit post is from sometimes Marmy.
I recently quit
my job at a convenience store. It was my last day on the job just minutes before the end
of my shift. I noticed a long line and I jumped on the register to help. Two customers
come to the register together and one asks for cigars.
Company policy and state law requires that I ID both customers. I turn to grab the cigars
after asking to
see the ID from both, and one of the customers leaves a store. Unfortunately, in this scenario,
I can't finalize a sale until I see ID from both customers, even if one leaves. I tell
the customer this, and he argues with me.
My manager is on the register right next to me, so I explained to the guy that, no, I
need to see the ID, or I can't sell either customer-adjustricted items.
It's now 10.02, and my shift officially ended at 10 o'clock, though we're allowed to,
and encourage to stay on the clock when there's a rush.
The customer claims that he doesn't know the other guy, even though it was clear that they were
together. A noid, but just wanting to end this interaction, I say, whatever, and I set up the terminal
to take his card.
He puts his card in and the reader asks, is this a mount correct or something of that
nature?
And the customer hits NO.
A lot of customers do this.
They don't read the screen, and they think that it's asking if they went cashback, but
if they hit NO, it cancels a transaction.
Usually we would just reset it, walking them through it to make sure they hit the right
button.
But then I think, what's gonna happen?
It's my last day, I'm supposed to be clocked out, I don't care about this job, and company
policy prohibits managers from giving references anyways.
I say, okay, you hit no, so good night, and I put the cigars back and I clock out.
After clocking out, I mentioned it to the manager who says the customer looks confused for a minute
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Our next reddit post is from Simmy Tuneup.
My dad is a hard worker.
This happened about 15 years ago.
He worked for a company that fixed and rented heavy equipment.
Backhoe, Cesar Liff, Steamrollers, Forklifts, etc. His boss, the CEO of the company whom he
reported to directly, was a middle-aged Italian guy whose grasp of English was tenuous at best.
He understood what people were saying, but he had trouble communicating his own intentions back
clearly. On the other hand, my dad had zero grasp of Italian, but spoke perfect English.
And my dad was a solid mechanic who would go on to make this machine bay operate like
a well-oiled machine.
Under my dad's supervision, things got done.
And even though he didn't always understand what the boss wanted him to do, he would just
focus on the reason why he was hired.
Manage the repair bay, hire new mechanics, train new hires and deal with on-call repairs.
Well, bossman gets in in his head that my dad is going to replace him as a CEO of the company.
Because my dad is much better liked, speaks perfect English and English-speaking country
and has basically all the apartment heads coming to him for help.
Even though, technically, my dad is only in charge of the repair bay.
And so the boss calls my dad into the office, choose him out, and manages to communicate
that he's being fired for poor work performance.
My dad just smiles, shakes the guy's hand, and leaves.
And thanks to the boss's less than firm grasp on both the English language and business
law, the boss guy just sent him on his way with his last paycheck and nothing else.
So my dad started his own business in the heavy equipment mechanic markets, and after
telling all of his old work buddies about the situation, he suddenly got a bunch of new
hires.
And suddenly, his old workplace had a lot of vacancies that the boss had no idea how to
fill, because he had just fired the guy that he'd hired to hire and train new employees.
He went out of business six months later.
Sometimes my dad drives past where the old shop was, and when he does, he just laughs and
laughs.
Can't confirm.
I got fired from my last job, and now that I'm a pro YouTuber, every time
I drive by that office, it puts a smile on my face.
Our next credit post is from Rexington. I work at a very popular pizza chain. Well,
today, my manager told me that instead of not answering the phone before we open, I
now have to answer the phone and put in their order as a timed order. I also have to tell
the customers that the order won't be ready until 11. I guess my manager is after more sales, I don't know. Cume malicious compliance,
and this morning we happen to get a lot of calls. By 1045, I already had 10 orders, and that was
also the time when the first customer showed up. Well, see, the issue here is that according to
company policy, we can unlock the doors
until 11.
We are allowed to send deliveries out early, but we can't open carry out early.
Well, as you can imagine, this customer became pissed when I told him they have to wait
until 11 before I could serve them due to company policy.
Well, the cherry on top is that my manager heard the commotion and decided to ignore the
rule.
Well, in comes my boss's boss, who trains and manages the managers.
He sees what my boss is doing and my boss immediately gets in trouble.
After my boss's boss scolded my boss for a bit, my boss pulled me aside and said that
we're no longer taking orders early.
Nor are we allowing customers to enter the store early.
Our next reddit posted from Lynn7.
I once hosted an event in a bar.
It was kind of a celebration for police trainees, new recruits, that kind of thing.
Anyway, as I was busy slaving away, pouring drinks, etc.
This one woman who was absolutely full of herself was watching me pour measures for another
customer.
Making comments about the amount of ice in the drinks, how I was using the wrong glass, I wasn't, and other obnoxious comments about how she was waiting
to be served and she was here first. She wasn't. I was pouring some spirits, I reached the
end of the bottle as I was pouring the whiskey, and there was a tiny drop left. So I just
poured those few extra milliliters into the glass, which you shouldn't really do, but who cares, right?
Anyway, this woman gets up in my face about how it's technically illegal to pour extra
measures and that the law is the law and that I should follow the law to the letter.
I tried to brush it off and ignore her and carried on serving other customers, but there she
was commenting on pretty much everything that I was doing and as everyone who has worked
in customer service will tell you, you know how annoying it is to have everything scrutinized
and commented on as though you're nothing but a useless piece of garbage.
So it comes to be her turn and she asks for an alcoholic beverage.
So using my limited powers, I ask her for her ID.
She goes bright red in the face and stutter something
about being old enough to be a cop. I tell her, sorry, if you don't have ID, I can't
legally serve you. The law is the law, after all. Low and behold, she didn't have ID and
had to settle for a lemonade. Opie, you should have tried to get the other cops to arrest
her for trying to purchase alcohol without an ID.
Down in the comments, we have this story from Cafe Sighon.
I had a cop flash his badge at me when I tried to ID him
when I worked at a liquor store,
and he got pissy with me when I didn't accept it.
Like, I'm just enforcing the law here, dude.
What's that line that cops always like to use?
Sorry, sir, I don't write the law. I just
enforce it. Our next reddit post is from Grab the Muffin. I was reminiscing after I made a poor
nurse shudder after cracking my knuckles at my doctor's appointment. It reminded me of a funny
story with my mom. My mom absolutely loathes whenever I cracked my knuckles around her. I can't help
myself. It's a bad habit, and
once I crack one knuckle, I have to crack all of them. She would constantly yell at me to stop.
She would even tell me that it's bad for me and that it would give me Arthur Rytis.
One day at home, I started making my fingers in the rice crispy treats,
snap, crackle, and pop. Mom had enough and snapped herself.
I want you to write a two-page essay about cracking
your fingers, including about Arthur Rytis. No more than double space, 12-point font and all that.
I don't want you trying anything funny. Well, of course I'm gonna try to do something funny.
We wouldn't be here if I didn't. So, cue malicious compliance. I sat at the computer,
opened Google and typed in, how cracking your fingers does not cause
Arthur Rytis.
It turns out that I was correct.
I had plenty of sources, including one guy who cracked his knuckles regularly on one hand,
and not at all on the other.
The uncracked hand got Arthur Rytis, and the cracked hand did not.
I did include some truthful things, like how it caused a loss of grip, but
ultimately it was about how it helped prevent arthritis in the long term. She took the essay
without a word, skimmed it, and called it good to my surprise. I couldn't believe that I got
away with it, but I also remembered that my paper got brought up in a conversation in my adult
years before cancer claimed my mom. What did I tell you about cracking your knuckles?
I had you write an essay on that and everything.
You didn't read that essay, did you?
What makes you think that?
I gave her a smile like a fox in a hen house, because I wrote the paper about how cracking
knuckles prevents arthritis.
My mom gives me a surprise Pikachu face.
No, you didn't.
I cited sources in everything.
You brat!
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, mom.
I loved my mom.
That was our slash malicious compliance, and if you like this content, be sure to follow
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