rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Rubbed My Bully's Face in Poison Ivy!

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

r/Pettyrevenge As a young kid, OP starts getting harassed by a bully at school. The teacher don't do anything to help, obviously. OP's father tells him to get revenge against the bully by fighting back. Well, OP gets an opportunity pretty soon when the bully grabs a patch of poison ivy and threatens to rub it on OP. OP pushes the bully down, causing the bully to land face-first into the patch of poison ivy. OP sits on the bully and just rubs their face in it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash Petty Revenge, where a bully gets his face rubbed in poison ivy. Our next reddit post is from my kidnab babies. I went to meet my mom for breakfast this morning, and four older people were walking across the parking lot. I waited patiently for them to cross, but three of them were going one way and another was going the other way. The old lady going in a separate direction decided to stop in the middle of the parking lot. She sat there talking to the other three for a while and then started walking and then stopped again to talk to them again.

The other three saw me gesturing to her and told her that I was trying to drive. But she continued talking. So I parked really fast and walked as fast as my legs would take me. I stood behind this old lady's car, texted a few people, responded to my work on Skype and smoked a cigarette. About 5 minutes later, this old lady got tired of waiting for me and got out to tell me to move, to which I ignored and said something along with the lines of. Sucks when someone stands in front of your car when you're trying to drive, doesn't

it? She glared at me, and then went back to her car and had to wait the rest of the two minutes and took me to finish smoking. I had a nice chuckle with my mom who asked what I was doing out there. Our next reply is from vortex games. So my aunt just moved into a new neighborhood and she hired a gardener to pull all the leaves off the property. It was the weekend and apparently in this neighborhood they banned sounds over 80 decibels on the weekend. So the lady from the neighboring house came over and said, We've called the police.

Just wanted to let you know so it isn't awkward. What? You could have just asked. So the poor gardener gets a written warning and has to leave. Later that week, the gardener called my aunt and explained that he had a work around and could resume work on the weekends. Obviously, we're wondering what's gonna satisfy this crazy lady. On Saturday, the gardener pulls up and is trucked this time. Suddenly, it starts roaring

much louder than any leaf blower. It turns out that there's no law banning mulch munchers. And this one was much louder than anything else the gardener had done. He then proceeded to mass the leaf blower with the mulch muncher. The lady stormed out, took one look at the truck and went back inside. Turns out, the police completely rejected her call, and she now has to live with this loud beast every Saturday for an hour. Our next reply is from UBT. I was at a craft store in my town, and it wasn't too busy, but only one register was open. I could tell that the cashier, a teenage girl, was working as best as she could. The process was a tad slower, however, because she had a stutter and a bit of a lisp.

As she worked through the line, asking the usual questions probably mandated by the big wigs, the man behind me began to huff and puff. He muttered something about having places to go, he was in a hurry, etc. I ignored him until I heard him start to mock this teenage girl to his kids. W-w-would you look like you, you, you, you receipt?" His kids began to laugh and it really made my blood boil. Especially since I could tell the cashier heard his mockery. That really made my blood boil. If a person doesn't respect retail employees as people, that's the best way to tell whether a person is a douchebag or not. So when it was my turn to the register, she asked me in a small voice. Are you a member of our Rords Club?

I look smugly at the guy behind me and then back at her. The Rords Club, oh, that sounds great. Please explain it to me. She seems surprised at first, but then she looked at the guy behind me, and it clicked. I have never given my information so slowly in my life. Never before had I asked so many questions. She just smiled and answered my questions while the guy behind me was seething. Can you hurry up, please? And miss out on all these great rewards as if! I only held the guy up for about 5 minutes, but oh man, it felt so good. Our next reply is from Pons Aelius.

A while ago, my email address was added to a mailing list for a church group located in the Southern USA. It was a Gmail address, and I just naturally assumed that it was added to a mailing list for a church group located in the southern USA. It was a Gmail address, and I just naturally assumed that it was added in error. I deleted the first few messages because there weren't that many. After a week or so, the volume of emails started to increase a lot because they were organizing events and everyone was responding with reply all. First off, I sent an email to the address that seemed to belong to the organizer, the one who was initiating the email chains. Hi, I said, I'm not part of your group, please remove me from the email distribution list. No response. Over the next couple of days,

as each new message arrives, I send another email. No response. So far, I've only been sending my messages to the leader. The next day, I send a reply all. Again, I'm ignored. I try again, no response. I am now receiving 10-20 emails a day of this garbage. So I take the nuclear option. Every single time I get a new email, I reply all with adult images. Since you won't remove me from the list, here's my inputs.

I start off mild and I quickly crank it up. I received outrage replies about this being a Christian church group. I reply with something even worse. I asked nicely for weeks to be removed and was ignored. So here's another fine picture for you. The email list disappeared from my inbox within 24 hours. Down in the comments, we have this post from deleted. I did this to a group text message that no one would take me out of. Some girl with a fairly active social life had my phone number before me. So, I was constantly fielding text messages from her. Normally, I just responded by saying

wrong number and we move on. Her church groups started messaging me a few months ago and I was getting 30 to 50 messages a day from them. I asked repeatedly for them to not message me and they kept saying, oh, sorry, and then continuing to message me. So I have been just running a longer message complaining about how I really don't want to keep hearing about their daily problems. And again, I asked to be taken off the text chain. Not only was I not taken off the chain, but a few of them complained that I should just block all 30 of them. Because apparently, it was too hard to start a new group

message. That set me off, so I started responding to every message with gay adult images. I'm talking hard stuff too. Fisting, bathroom stuff, etc. I am not part of that prayer group anymore. OP, when you sent those images, did you also say that it was part of the prayer group message? Dear everyone, I seem to have gotten another dude's hand stuck inside of my butthole. Please pray for me to help me get it removed. Thank you so much and God bless. Our next reddit post is from Platinum. I recently broke up with my girlfriend. Before we split up, she borrowed my mom's GPS

to help her move across the country for school. Well, it's been a few months since our breakup and I've asked her twice to send the GPS back and to tell me the tracking number. Nothing showed up at my doorstep. Today I reached out to ask about the status of the GPS. Her reply was that she lost it. Now, I'm not sure if she genuinely misplaced it, threw it away out of her vans or is just keeping it. Honestly, after the next exchange,

I couldn't care less what the reality was. Well, could you send me some money to replace it? No. Okay, originally I planned to let this go. However, I remembered something. One of her favorite games was paid for and linked with my origin account. Five minutes later, password changed. I set up two factor authentication and synico to my phone.

I listed all of her devices is untrusted. Have fun buying and restarting everything on that game that you love. Our next Reddit post is from Pickus Wrath. My H-Away is the worst. They nickel and dime every opportunity they get. Their online portal is atrocious and they are impossible to get a hold of. They even threatened to put Alina in my house earlier this year due to one missed payment. Their monthly fee is 150 bucks plus195 service fee month after month. It doesn't matter if you set up direct

withdrawal with your bank account, debit card, etc. They will still shave an extra two bucks a month because they can. That is, until I missed Mae's payment. I tried to pay earlier this month only to find they had yet again changed their website. They've done this three times since I moved into this house. As a result, I wasn't able to log in. I made a mental note to check back and I moved on. Well, I remembered it today. I found the new site and logged in, only to discover that they had levied a $1.24 late

fee against my account. What vultures? So whatever. I decide to pay for May and go ahead and pay for June as well. As it turns out, only one service fee is assessed for transaction, which means that because I was paying both May and June in a single transaction, only 195 was charged instead of 390 for both months. And because there was a late fee of $1.24, I essentially wound up paying $300.3

in 19 cents instead of $300.90. A full 71 cents of savings. It's actually cheaper for me to miss a month and get a late fee than pay for two months with a single service fee. It's savings of $0.35 a month every month. That comes out to $4.26 a year not being paid to my HOA. Seriously, FHOAs. Well, there you have it. If you've ever wanted to know the true cost of Petty Revenge, it's 71 cents a month. Our next credit post is from Luna Wolf. When I was about 10 years old, we moved to Pennsylvania. I'm Mexican, and I still had some trouble with English, but I was like 99% fluent. Just not enough to avoid being bullied. This bully would chase me around calling me racial slurs and asking me if the Rio Grande is refreshing. After my discussion with my parents about it, they said that he's just an insecure, voicing

mean things that his parents taught him and to just ignore him. If he got physical, my dad told me not to do any of that just tell the teacher nonsense. He said, if that boy hits you, you hit back harder, you have my permission. After some more insults, the bully realized that he wasn't getting a response like he wanted, so he decided to get physical. He shoved me, and he picked up a clump of poison ivy with a sweater. This wasn't a big deal because I was faster than him, but my best friend wasn't. He went after my friend, so I tackled the bully to the ground. His face landing in the very poison ivy that he was holding. I straddled him and rubbed his

face in the poison ivy. He cried, and after that he never looked in my direction or laid a finger on me or my friend. It's been 18 years, and I'm still not sorry. Our next Reddit post is from socks and pop tarts. I was an intern at a local wedding magazine during college. It was a small office of three interns who put the magazine together, along with an editor who will always be the most incompetent person that I have ever worked with. And I've worked in food service. Anyways, after months of petty BS, my car broke down over Thanksgiving. I called the editor to let her know that I might be late because I had to take the bus. Her response?

Oh, your car broke down, you're no longer needed as an intern. Click. That beward did not just hang up on me. I was mad, but I took that call as a blessing and disguise and decided to forget about it. I wasn't getting paid, so who cares? Two months later, on Saturday, I'm relaxing at home when I get a call. Guess who? Hey, O.P. Listen, I'm sorry about that call during Thanksgiving break. My phone must have dropped the connection. We're trying to get this month's edition printed, and I can't keep up with all the mail the ads and the phone calls. It's crazy here and the other

girls quit. Can you believe that? When can you be back in the office? Readers, it's been four years since that Saturday, but even now I can still feel that incredible sense of petty joy. You said that I was no longer needed as an intern two months ago. I've already accepted a position elsewhere. My new boss doesn't call me on weekends and actually pays me. Lose my number. Click? So, ironically, I'm recording this episode on June 10th.

The day that we celebrate the end of slavery, and OP is talking about unpaid internships. Can we please just get rid of unpaid internships already? How are they still legal? I just don't get it! Our next Reddit post is from Computer Conrad. I've been working at a subway restaurant for the past two years from the end of high school through my first year of college. I take classes in the morning and afternoon, so when I work it's usually a closing shift. The only issue is that I close by myself, so it really triggers my anxiety when I get a rush of people, or I can't finish certain duties at a certain time.

So by the end of the night, I'm usually so adamant mentally, and I just want to get home ASAP. So tonight I was closing like usual, and I really wanted to get home as early as I could to finish an assignment to it midnight. Of course, with my luck, it turns out being one of the busiest nights we've had in a while, because they recently sent out coupons or buy one get one foot longs after 4pm, which is such a stupid move, especially for people who close alone. So by the time closing time rolls around, I'm finishing up dishes, cleaning the line,

counting the bread, wraps, bowls, etc. I go to lock the door, and as I'm turning off the open sign, a guy walks in and I tell him, sorry, we're closed. He wittily responds with, then how'd I get in here? I responded, I was going to lock the door, you have to leave, sir. No, I want a sandwich! At this point, I'm just thinking that if this guy is balzing enough to tell a business owner to stay open after hours because he wants service, then who knows what else he could

do. So I decided to just make him his sandwich to make him go away. He proceeded to take a good two to three more minutes just staring at the menu. Oh my god, I was fuming! I was staring daggers at this guy. I made a sandwich, then we moved over to the cash register. I put in a sandwich, tell him it's total, and he pulls out a $50 bill. Oh my God, I got so excited because we don't accept bills over $20.

And I pray that he doesn't have another method to pay. I tell him the bad news, and he of course gets angry saying to break it anyway. Well, good thing I already dropped most of the money from the register into our safe before I went to lock up, so I literally couldn't give him proper change for the $50 bill. I explain this to him as I slide his sub to the side where he can't reach it, and he just leaves in a fit of rage. I proceed to then take his sub home and eat it while finishing up my assignment and turning it in on time. Honestly, if he wasn leaves in a fit of rage. I've received to then take his subhome and eat it while finishing up my assignment and turning it in on time.

Honestly, if he wasn't such a commanding douche, I would have just given him the sub and tell him not to worry about it. But if you're gonna force me to do my job, past or posted hours and be a dick about it, then you are not getting a break. I also used to work at Subway in high school and I hated people like this.

The worst thing is that when you're working in hourly wage, if you stay late for like an extra 10 or 15 minutes, then typically you're not getting paid for that time. So when you close at 10 and people come by at like 10 o'clock or 10 o'clock and they try to jiggle the door, you're like, sorry, we're closed. I wish I could help you, but unfortunately I can't. Actually, back in college, I remember that I went to a place that was closing down for the night, and when I walked in, I was like, oh shoot, are you guys closing? They said, yeah, we closed like two minutes ago, but they could take us. And the person working behind the counter was obviously a teenager, and I could just see the defeat and disappointment on their face. It's like dude I've been in your shoes before I totally get it.

But still I was super hungry and I really wanted a sandwich. And I was like hey I can tell that you guys are closing down. Would it be okay if I just tipped you like 5 bucks? And instantly this person's expression changed because typically they're making minimum weight which is like 10 or 15 bucks an hour. So 5 bucks just to make 1 sandwich is a sweet deal and it was overall a pleasant transaction. So yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't make people work for free and if you have to make them work for free, at least tip them. That was our slash Petty Revenge and if you like this

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