rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge My Roommate Stole My Food, So I Fed Him Dog Treats!

Episode Date: May 8, 2021

r/Pettyrevenge OP has a new roommate who is constantly stealing his food and snacks. He tries to confront his roommate about it, but nothing ever works. So, he decides to enact some petty revenge by storing dog treats that look like cookies in the kitchen. When the roommate eats all of the dog treats and later complains about them, OP reveals his little trick: they were dog treats! The roommate stopped stealing food after that revelation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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connectzoneterio.com. Please play responsible. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Petty Revenge, where no revenge is too small. Our next Reddit post is from Yes you a Snow. When I was in college, I worked at a gastropub as a server in a bartender. After working there for a few months, we hired a new guy named Nathaniel who went by Nathan. My name is Joshua and I've never gone by Josh because that's my dad's name and it

also just, I don't know, never suited me. I've always been pretty adamant about being called Joshua. I introduced myself to Nathan, who immediately said something like, nice to meet you, Josh. I politely told him that I prefer Joshua using my go-to line. My dad is Josh, and my parents decided that Joshua was better than Bubba. I'm from the American South where Bubba is a common nickname for any junior male who has the same name as his father. The line usually just gets a laugh, or at least a good nature checkle, and people don't seem to have a problem calling me Joshua afterwards. Nathan, however, never once used my full name, and he always called me Josh. I really liked

the guy and I enjoyed working with him, and we soon became pretty good friends, often hanging out outside of work. But his refusal to use my preferred name always kind of irked me. My very silly, very petty revenge was that I always called him Nate instead of Nathan. He looked at me oddly the first couple of times, but he never brought it up. I never once heard another person call him Nate, and frankly Nathan suited him much better. One night a few of us were closing the bar, and he, as usual, called me Josh. One of the waitresses, bless her, corrected him. He goes by Joshua, nobody calls him Josh. Nathan stopped wiping the bar, got a far off look for a moment, then spun around to look at me.

Is that what you call me, Nate? I just laughed. There was General Bander for a few minutes about how everyone thought that it was odd that I called him name, but nobody really thought about it. Nate laughed about it and was like, screw it, let's just keep going with the wrong names, and so we did. He's the only person I know who calls me Josh, and as far as I know, nobody but me calls him Nate. What was one's kind of anagging annoyance to me became kind of a bonding thing, having your own buddy names for each other. That's all. I know that it's dumb, but I think that if it's the spirit of the sub, our next red

it post is from HSP. So I work for a company that does commercial cleaning jobs, mostly bathrooms and businesses around the area. I have a big machine that I use to pressure wash bathrooms, it has a cleaning chemical in the water. I put up signs while I clean the bathroom as close for cleaning. These signs hang at eye level in the door frame, so you have to physically duck to get past them.

I frequently get people who come up and look at the signs and ask if they can use the restroom, which I always politely say no because they're closed for cleaning. And I have a cleaning chemical on all the fixtures. They're usually fine with that, and either way they're good to a different one. I clean both men and women's bathrooms at the same time when I do these, so sometimes I'll be inside one of the restrooms and I don't see someone sneaking to the other one to use it. When that happens, I have to sit there and wait for them to finish before I can finish

cleaning the restroom. If they're fast, I usually just give them a dirty look, but if they're slow and cost me a lot of time, I usually tell them that I hope they don't get a rash. They usually get confused, so I explain that the chemicals I spray on the fixtures are harmful to the skin, and that's why I have to close down the restrooms while I work. I usually put on a worried sympathetic face, and tell them they may want to go take a shower as quickly as possible. Otherwise it might get really uncomfortable to sit down for the next few weeks. This usually freaks them out a bit and they hurry off.

In reality, our chemicals are actually pretty harmless so long as they're diluted and mine are. However, it feels really good to instill that fear in someone who thinks that rules don't apply to them. Down in the comments, we have this story from baked goods. I love it. As a janitor, I have to deal with this all the time. My greatest moment was when a company VIP asked if she could use the bathroom that I was cleaning. I said no because everything was wet still. She ignored me and went side anyways, and about two minutes later I could hear her screaming,

it's a wet! When she sat on the toilet, her butt got soaking wet. She then jumped up and fell onto the wet floor. I walked in on a soaked half naked old lady on the bathroom floor. When a cleaning person tells you the bathroom is closed, just listen, it's for good reason. Our next reddit post is from Hey Gracie. My ex and I have been living together for seven years, person tells you the bathroom is closed, just listen, it's for good reason. Our next Reddit post is from Hey Gracie. My ex and I have been living together for seven years, long enough for several components of our lives to be shared, including a Netflix account. The relationship ended when he met another woman and moved out to be with her.

In order to not be petty and appear bitter and scorned, I didn't rush to lock down any of our shared accounts. At this point, we were living in completely different time zone, so I didn't realize until I was on vacation in the same continent around a year later and received a multi-screen pop-up you get when someone else is using your account at the same time. That's when I realized that he was still using my Netflix account. I had incorrectly assumed that he would opt to not mow off of me and open a new account. Rather than change the password, I see the chance to be petty.

I changed the settings for his profile so he could only view shows for kids under 5, and I changed his language settings to Korean. Honestly, it's still one of my finest moments to date. Down in the comments, we have this story from Oma actual goodness. My mom's butthole of an ex-husband had bullied and abused her for more than 20 years. So we were all hugely relieved when she finally left him. This guy is racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and to top it all off, he's a preacher, so he claims to be doing God's work. I pay half of the cost of a Netflix account with my mom, so she has a profile. My mom didn't want to rock the boat during the divorce by changing the Netflix password,

but after so many years of having to stand by and watch him abuse my mom, I couldn't resist messing with a guy. I changed his interest to LGBTQ+, Islam and foreign language films was strong female leads. It was only a small irritation to him, I imagine, but he's not very technically minded. And I'm sure that it pisses him off a decent amount to see his Netflix recommendations change from classic British films to foreign language films with LGBTQ themes, Muslim themes, and kick ass women. Why do I love getting my last minute gift at shoppers' drug mart? Well, lots of stores, many open late, great selection of gifts, and let's not forget themes and kick ass women.

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Our next Reddit post is from Willemier Cottage. This is a tale of my two siblings that happened in the late 80s. My brother thought it would be amusing to put VIX VAPER RUB in my sister's little pot of lip balm. Being winter in Canada, she took it with her on the school bus and shared it with her friends. By the time they arrived at school, they all had swollen, numb lips and watering eyes. She was not amused. Since this was the 80s, my brother had a love affair with hairspray. It was the kind that you pump out like a fire extinguisher. His hair looked like a solid chunk of crystal that could withstand gale force winds. He's native, and he has very thick, very black hair. My sister built his hairspray bottle with hydrogen peroxide.

Over the course of a few weeks, his hair started to slowly turn orange. It was so gradual that you didn't notice until it was all that you could see. We kept our lips zipped and his hair eventually grew out. I found out decades later that my mom actually took him to medical specialist trying to figure out what was going on. Our next reddit postage from the quarantine in. I've been known to purchase the giant jar of jelly billies from Costco at a very reasonable price. I don't mind co-workers coming in and shaking out a handful of jelly billies for themselves. However, I have this one co-worker who badmouts me behind my back,

who always tries to get me to pay for her lunch, and who makes it clear that she hates me. So when this coworker came by and took a whole mug full of jelly bellies without asking for permission, or even saying hi, I had to take action. We're both early morning people, so there's usually an hour, hour and a half with nobody with the two of us in the office, so I knew there would be no innocent victims. You can buy this certain box of jelly bellies. It contains an assortment of jelly belly beans that come in identical pairs. One of them tastes good, and the other one tastes horrible.

Is that white jelly belly coconut or rotten eggs? Other flavors include soap, earthworms, boogers, and dishwater. In the game you spin a spinner and you eat whatever color it tells you to eat and you have a 50-50 chance of getting a good flavor or a nasty one. It's actually a fun game among friends. However, this did not involve a friend. So, I happily bought a box of this nasty mix and dumped it into the jar. There was only about one or two inches of jelly belly left in the bottom, so this was a sacrifice I was willing to make. And then, I waited. I left my office for a bit, came back, and saw that there were

significantly fewer beans left. Perfect. About 10 minutes later, I heard a wonderful cacophony of gagging, wretching, and utterances of disgust, accompanied by what sounded suspiciously like something being spit into the trash can down the hall. Suddenly, I caught a whiff of rotten eggs. Then, I heard the unmistakable sound of a bunch of jelly-bellies being thrown in the trash can. I threw away my remainder of jelly-bellies. I purchased a new stash, and for the past two weeks, I've noticed it is not draining as quickly as it used to. She hasn't said a word to me since. Not that she was actually talking to me before, but at least now she isn't mooching off of someone she hates. Down in the comments, we have this story from Dragonet. One of the managers in the place I used to work kept a dish of

Betty Bot's Jelly Bellies on his desk. Some had good flavors, and some had bad flavors. One of my IT buddies came in with his wife and two-year-old. The kiddo didn't ask, he just took one of the jelly beans. After a minute, he had this look of utter dismay on his face and he started crying. My friend got him to spit out the jelly bean and it turned out to be Sardine flavor. I'm guessing the kid learned to ask that for that one. Our next reddit posted from Stunning Spell. I'm a 16 year old girl and I have a cousin also a 16 year old girl

whom I just met a couple of years ago. She and her mom are the biggest narcissists that I've ever met. Her mother, when she was young, used to make fun of my mother, constantly berating her physical appearance. So before the meeting, my mom actually warned me about their behavior. Bless her. Well, my cousin, on the very first day that I met her, made a rude comment about my nose being too big and my eyes being too small. Now I know that I'm prettier than average, but these kinds of comments did make me a little insecure. She acted as if she were Lady Diana herself. Like, one time she told me to cover the mirrors in my house when she comes over because after seeing her, my mirror standards would be too

high and the next time they saw me, they would shatter. The last straw was when she looked at my baby brother and said that he's the reason that she doesn't want kids because what if her kids turned out to be just as ugly as him. Her mom kind of laughed awkwardly and told her that he looks exactly like I did when I was young. Then my cousin said, EW! Directly at my face. That's it. I'd had enough. My uncle asked to see our childhood photo so that we could see if she was any cuter than me. I was willing to show my photos, but she was kind of hesitant. She said she didn't have any baby photos. She doesn't want to show them? Okay, I know what I'm gonna do now.

I spent the whole weekend searching my house for pictures of me and her and put them all in a photo album. The next time we had a family gathering, I asked for everyone's attention and asked them to look at our old photos. Everyone was excited. I handed them the album, and on the very first page there was a picture of me who looked like a cute little teddy bear. And her, a crooked tooth monkey who looked like she had been marinating in car oil for three years straight.

Initially, my cousin was like, ew, that baby is ugly AF. But when she realized that it was actually a picture of her, she was extremely embarrassed. Then she accused me of editing my pictures to look good and her pictures to look like that. Before I could even say anything, my uncle said, cousin, there's no way she could edit those photos because they were printed in 2010. I don't understand, you look exactly like that.' They all started laughing, and I finally got my revenge, lol.

She and I don't talk anymore, and I hope it stays that way." Our next reddit post is from itchy red bump. Softmore housing at my university consisted of seven students in a tiny three-bit room dormitory with a small common space, a kitchenette, and a single bathroom. At the end of freshman year, I managed to organize a pretty decent group of guys to live with, but due to several summer dropouts, we ended up getting several transfer students. Things were sometimes tense, but the original guys usually managed to keep the peace.

The biggest ongoing challenge was the new guys would steal our food. Our private snacks and instant meals were constantly disappearing. Every few weeks, we would take turns asking the newer students to not eat our food, but it kept disappearing. Q. The Petty Revenge. I sometimes volunteered at a pet store that sold dog treats that look like Oreos. I started buying 2-3 at a time and leaving them in the kitchen cabinets. Every time they disappeared, I replaced them. After a few months, I asked a roommate if he had seen any of the cookies in the cabinet and he said, yeah, they tasted like garbage. I replied,

that's because they were dog food. stop stealing our food, problem solved. OP, you said that you bought 2-3 cookies and they all disappeared. So that means after this guy ate the first cookie and discovered they tasted awful, he did one of two things. Either he ate the rest of those disgusting cookies or he threw them away. In either case, what an absolute douchebag. Like, if you eat the first cooking aside that you don't like it, why not put it back? It's not like they were yours to begin with.

That was our slash Petty Revenge, and if you like this content, check out my Patreon where I publish extra episodes. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit podcast episodes every single day. every single day.