rSlash - r/Prorevenge He Stole My Cupcake, SO I RUINED HIS LIFE!
Episode Date: July 9, 2020r/Prorevenge In today's episode, a coworker brings in cupcakes for OP and other people in the department. OP goes to get his cupcake, only to discover that it's has been STOLEN! Well, OP isn't about t...o take this sitting down, and lucky for OP he runs the building's security systems. So, he goes on an epic quest to catch the thief and then systematically ruin his life, piece by piece. If you like this video and want to see more, subscribe to my channel for more daily Reddit videos! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit.
Today's sub-reddit is R-Slash per Revenge and next a word from our sponsors.
Our next Reddit posts are from Older Sparky.
We had an older hospital where, over time, we've been upgrading their CCTV, security, door access,
and nurse call paging systems.
I've been at this company for a few years
but they've been doing all the Sparky work here
for over a decade so we knew the whole place really well.
The buildings, the people, the staff positions,
the job roles, everything.
I worked there a lot so I got to know the drama,
politics, and secret affairs too.
I got to lead a team in building and maintaining each of the new systems.
These systems had been chosen because they could all work together to achieve the client's
needs and were networked.
They were also standalone because government IT didn't want the third party gear on their
networks.
We had to install all the infrastructure and equipment.
I had network hubs all over the place where I could access all four of these systems.
One Tuesday, I was sitting at one of the network hubs doing regular testing and maintenance.
I had just been checking the CCTV, watching Janine do that lopsided, stumbling walk she doesn't
hide heels. I believed I'd done enough continuous work at 10am to deserve a treat.
That morning, Nancy, a nurse in PD Atrix, had
brought cupcakes in for the Ward staff. Nancy had kept two individually packaged cupcakes
aside for me, clearly labeled with my name in the Ward staff room fridge. I walked the
five minutes over to the ward, humming my, I'm about to have a cupcake song. I opened
the fridge, no cupcakes. I mean, there were maybe 20 still there and a big clear Tupperware container, but mine
weren't.
Not the ones Nancy set aside.
Before I just lose my cool all together and flip that f-ing fridge over, I'd better
go check to see if something dire hasn't happened.
Maybe one of these kids needed these particular cupcakes to stay alive.
Maybe these two cupcakes saved the planet.
Work is forgotten and the investigation begins. I speak with Nancy. First, I ask if she
saw the Janinos wearing heels again. We both have a chuckle. Then, I bring up the cupcake
situation. We go through the hole. They were there before, and the checking of the fridge
so Nancy can confirm the story. It's like she doesn't understand that I wouldn't joke about this.
We begin interviews.
No one on the ward is owning up.
We believe them.
Someone not of this ward has taken my cupcakes.
The pediatric nurses are livid.
Myself and my team want answers.
It's a funny thing.
Once cameras and swipe card doors have been in for a while, people
forget all about them.
Forget that they're always being watched.
Forget that doors have logs to see who went where and when.
Forget who put them all in.
Back to the hub I go.
A quick audit of door access reveals that Jerry went in the staff room between the relevant
times. Not yet. Don't lose your in the staff room between the relevant times.
Not yet.
Don't lose your cool just yet. Do the due diligence.
Checking the CCTV, I see Jerry walking out of the staff room carrying a bag, wiping his mouth.
Rewind, pause, zoom in, frosting.
The hubs racked and nothing wrong, so I stepped back and stared at the wall.
The first eight thoughts got caught by the filter, I calmed down a little and hit back
to my nurses.
They see me coming and gather.
Sick kids are an afterthought in this matter.
I tell them I know who did it.
Don't want to say who just yet.
I need some time to think, and ask if we can keep this all hush hush for now.
They say they understand and immediately ask who it was.
They are, after all, government staff.
I head back to the hub to continue work, not walking 500 miles to eat cupcakes anymore.
As I'm swiping my card across the reader, in that one second it takes the red light
to turn green, a plan starts to play like a cinematic in my head. It's like
my subconscious has known about this day for ages, and is now premiering its devious feature.
It's green supermutations, possible flaws, ramifications. I'm not sure how long I
stared at that door, rewinding, pausing, fast-forwarding. The plan is beautiful, and I promise my brain a cupcake soon.
Jerry was a general orderly who was supposed to float around the whole hospital helping any
ward and pretty much anyone else when they paged him. He didn't though. Jerry didn't like
walking around. Jerry was lazy, and he didn't like patience. He used to work in the wards, but he couldn't find one without close supervision or without
patience, so he moved to a day shift general duties.
Jerry hated to be made to walk from one end of the hospital to the other and Jerry F being
hated the swipe card and electronic door locks.
Some people just don't get technology.
Some people just hate change and love to complain about it
while not taking the effort to learn about how to work it.
While responding to maintenance tickets,
I'd had to listen to Jerry winch numerous times
about doors for this and other reasons I did not like Jerry.
Jerry knew my distinctive name,
knew what I did here, saw the other 20 cupcakes
and ate mine anyway.
Yeah, time to screw with Jerry. At the hub, I make the necessary improvements to my systems.
I select a variety of well-chosen doors. I set auto-paging for different events.
I create different calendars. I set some automated conditions so everything swapped and changed
around. Once I'm set up with a program on hold, I go see Nancy.
I need to give Jerry a chance to own up, even though I'm pretty sure he won't.
I ask Nancy to page Jerry so she can ask him about the cupcakes.
Nancy is unsurprised that Jerry and his onboard.
The other nurses gather and ask what's happening.
I tell them that Jerry is about to work off some of his belly.
They aren't surprised at Jerry either, and swear secrecy. I walked the maintenance manager's office
while Nancy summoned Jerry. I go into the maintenance manager's office, grinning. My buddy,
the maintenance manager says, what? With a smile. He knows me. We were closely together here for a while.
We're mates, and he's seen that look on my face before.
I ask him to just print any maintenance tickets generated by Jerry for card, or door, or gate-pager issues, but not to action them.
I'll pick them up while I'm here doing other work and deal with them personally.
When I tell him about the cupcakes in my plan, he's not only on board, he laughs so hard
he has a coughing bit for about 25 seconds.
I head back to check in with Nancy and find that Jerry has ever so accommodatingly denied
all knowledge.
What I'd created in my system was a randomized intermittent program, all focused on Jerry's
card.
A program that would send Jerry's page or message to go somewhere on the other side of the complex, seemingly at
random, based on Jerry's wiping his card at particular doors. Or the gate to the
staff car park wouldn't work. Or his card would stop working, making him go to
get it revalidated. Or a siren would sound for a few seconds when he entered
certain rooms. I already knew all the staff routines in area of responsibility.
The patients wouldn't be adversely impacted, and Jerry did nothing anyways.
Back at the hub, I clicked the GO button.
Week 1.
By Friday afternoon, in four days, Jerry had raised 18 tickets.
I grabbed a stack of paper from the maintenance manager and went to the orderly's office
to find Jerry.
While I gently fan the tickets, he listed all the weird things he'd been experiencing.
He was explaining how the duty nurses were getting annoyed at his unexpected arrivals when
I interrupted him to ask if he'd seen anyone take my cupcake from the pediatric's fridge
on Tuesday.
The puzzled face he put on was a head shorter than mine, and about 1 meter away from the embroidered
name on my shirt.
No confession.
I'd only had 50 specially selected doors active in the program these past 4 days.
That Friday afternoon, at the end of week 1, I clicked the ALL button and added the other
470 doors.
Week 2.
By midday Wednesday, there were only 6 tickets raised.
I checked the system's logs and found out why.
In just under 3 days, there have been a mixture of over 85 events.
Jerry didn't have time to lodge tickets.
When I spoke to Jerry that Wednesday, he demanded that I do my job and fix this stuff, and
why hadn't I done it yet?
No confession, no apology, time for some hit games.
I told him I'd sort it out.
When I went to check the systems that Wednesday midday, I stopped the program.
On Friday morning, I turned it back on again.
Week 3.
I let it run Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday.
I almost felt sorry for him this week when I was talking to him and considered stopping
the plan. Then, I remembered why I didn't like him so much.
The one thing I haven't mentioned that is I already knew Jerry was in the final stages
of disciplinary management. This was the linchpin to the plot of the film that ran through
my head.
Remember before when I said that I got to know the drama, politics, and secret affairs?
I knew that one of the disciplinary warnings, among other things, was for taking people's
lunches on four occasions.
And not because he needed to either.
That's the reason the nurses and the maintenance manager weren't surprised it was Jerry and Ron Bord. They knew too. Everyone did. That was the reason why he didn't
kick up a sting to his manager or confess. I didn't want to get him fired, just make
him apologize. Cupcakes are serious business. The final week. Week 4. The program ran
Monday and Tuesday. The plan was only ever going to be for a month, or until Jerry confessed and apologized.
Before this Tuesday, I had a chat with Nancy.
I had asked her if she wouldn't mind a cameo in a little vignette.
She understood and agreed.
When I was talking with Jerry in the orderly's office, Nancy arrived and handed me a personalized
pair of cupcakes that looked and were packaged the exact same as the missing
ones a few weeks earlier. As Nancy was walking away, the now silent Jerry looked from the
package to my shirt, then to me. I held up the tickets, mustered my best Adam Hills and
said, don't be a dick mate. He was silent and very angry. I could see he'd realized that I'd been doing this on purpose.
If he made an official complaint, the missing cupcakes would come up and he'd lose his
job.
Also, during our chats, he'd heard me say intermittent issues many, many times.
Jerry was angry because he knew he couldn't do an F-ing thing about it.
I walked off to the Pediatrics ward where Nancy and I were going to eat these treats.
I hummed my tune the whole way.
Lucense.
Unfortunately, Jerry was a dick one more time.
He got sacked two months later for taking more stuff out of a fridge.
I felt bad for him as I helped security save the footage to a drive.
Janine continued to wear the four inch heels on and off until she sprained her ankle.
There is no show real.
The maintenance manager tried bribing me with Jack Daniels after the episode to add certain
page numbers to the program.
There's no way I could have done that.
He's an evil, evil bastard.
We drank the jacks as we didn't watch a non-existent show reel. There have
been many times on this channel where I've said, don't screw with the IT guy, but this
is the first time I've ever said, don't mess with a man's cupcakes.
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Our next reddit post is from anonymous pun.
Let's call my A-hole boss Eugene since his stingingness reminds me of Eugene Crabbs
from SpongeBob SquarePants,
except Krabs is nowhere near malicious. In order to display the full satisfaction of this revenge,
I'll have to describe a few, but not limited things Eugene did that entitles him to being a complete
jerk off. For context, Eugene owns a small company that provides artistic services of some sort
and never hired full-timers, which
I later learned was due to his stanginess.
Initially, when I saw the open part-time position, I thought it was ideal for me as I had external
commitments and needed some sort of income.
The job offers about $550 USD per month.
I don't live in the US, this is a rough conversion, but only required me to clock in about 90 hours
a month.
It wasn't a very good offer, but good enough for me as I consider myself to be an experienced
in the field.
Note that Eugene had seen my portfolio and knew my ability level before hiring me.
The first couple of months was fine.
I worked the hours I was supposed to and got paid accordingly, occasionally extending
my shift into my own time due to the nature of the work, but I didn't mind.
I guess Eugene saw this as an advantage he could exploit later on during my employment.
It's also important to know that Eugene would often ask about my well-being, how I spent
my weekends, etc.
At this point in time, it all seemed like courtesy tollix so I didn't pay much attention
to it.
He would ask about my previous employment and my reason for leaving, which I answered honestly
that their work system was unsustainable for me.
This will be important later.
Eugene gradually began to grow more impatient towards me, often blaming me for not being
able to match up to his ability.
Remember when I said I was inexperienced, thus the pay rate?
Eugene had over a decade of experience in this expertise, and he expected me to be at
his level when I was only 3 months in.
The stress was intense, and I began working longer hours just to keep up and produce work
at the best quality I could.
I was under the belief that if I worked hard enough, my effort will speak.
Even though this was only a part-time position, I over-committed my time there and took pride
in my work.
My external commitments were barely scraping by.
I was exhausted, but thought I was doing a good job.
Until Eugene spoke to me one day.
Eugene pulled me into his office and lectured me on my work etiquette,
saying that I wasn't putting in enough effort and he was considering letting me go.
At this point, I was beyond confused.
Did he really not see the effort I put in?
Was I delusional and thinking I was actually doing well and my work had been improving?
I tried speaking up, but he quickly diverted the topic, telling me he knew the reason why
my previous employer hated me.
It was because I was lazy and uncommitted.
To say I was in disbelief was an understatement.
Not only did I believe that I did my best with every task candid to me, Eugene had registered
my flaws during casual conversation and twisted my words to his advantage. I had no idea how
to react and simply asked him what he expected of me. He instantly replied that he would like me to double my hours working for him at the same monthly rate. His reasons, it's my fault that I'm not experiencing
up to produce quality work. Thus, it should be under my own responsibility and time to make
up for it. My external commitments didn't matter, he said, as this job was my only source of
income and should be kept as priority. It finally dawned on me that Eugene was a narcissistic sociopath, who only held conversations
so that he could learn a person's weakness from manipulation.
Now from my title, you'll see that Eugene was not only a narcissist, but also stingy
AF.
Eugene is obsessed with maximizing his profits.
Any business owner would love that, I agree, but Eugene focuses on every cent in immoral
and even possibly illegal ways.
He would sell a service to a client, and upon receiving the deposit, deliver something
else.
He was smart enough to keep his contracts big, for both clients and employees, so that
nobody could take legal action against him.
More than often, his clients would be left to their wits and as it would be too late and expensive
to engage in another vendor by the time they realized they'd been scammed.
Eugene would then demand another set of payment to deliver what he had originally promised,
overcharging the client an average of 100 to 200% more than what was agreed.
Eventually realizing that they'd been played, most people would be too exhausted to pursue
further action and prayed for the project to be over so they didn't have to deal with
his antics anymore.
This inaction probably fed Eugene's ego that he could get away playing dirty every time.
There are many more things I would like to rant about Eugene, but this is a pro revenge
of not recruiting hell, so most of you would like to get to the good stuff soon.
So in my country, employers are required to pay a certain amount of tax for every local
employee they hire.
While it isn't exactly tax, it is obligated by law, and negligence will result in a hefty
fine and possibly jail time.
These taxes are technically contributions for the employee's retirement funds, which is payable by every employer. The employer
can deduct a certain percentage of the contribution for the employee's wages.
This law has its own complications since there are a certain group of people
exempted from it such as students or interns. Now Eugene is the classic example of
a narcissist who thinks he's smarter than everyone else. He felt he was smart enough
to obeyed the law by drafting a contract with vague details to protect himself, and was deluded enough
to believe that everyone would believe him as long as he sounded convincing. In other
words, he thought of people as sacks of potatoes with no opinion of their own. If anyone
was to have a perspective, it had to be his way or the wrong way. I stayed in Eugene's company for about four months before I felt too mentally overwhelmed.
On the day I left, I called in to check on my contribution account and just as I had
expected, Eugene hadn't paid a single cent over the past four months.
The officer on the other end of the line asked if I would like to report this as a case.
Guess my answer.
A week later, I
received an update from the contribution board saying that Eugene had disputed in my case,
claiming that I was only an intern and thus exempted from the law. This jerk was playing
dirty as a last attempt to steal from me. As I had mentioned, Eugene thought of himself
as a smart man and probably felt that the officer would rule the case in his favor since
he had world-class convincing skills and his vague contract would have protected him either way.
Fine Eugene.
So you think you can get away just like any other time.
You must have gotten pretty confident by now.
Well, not this time Eugene.
I wrote a two-page long email to the contribution board officer with every reason and evidence I can find
on why I'm not an intern like Eugene claimed.
Knowing his antics, I went the extra mile to research all of the exempted groups and wrote
every possible reason on how I am not in the category.
Excessive?
Yes.
Worth it?
Hell yes.
I didn't hear from the officer for two weeks, and when I finally did, he informed me that
Eugene had agreed to pay my contributions.
Remember when I said that employers are permitted to deduct a certain percentage from employees'
wages?
Due to his negligence, Eugene could no longer do that and had to pay the full amount.
On top of the fines that he had incurred along with it, if he had dutifully abided by
the law, it would have only cost him a third of what he had to pay. So that's a bit of a butthole
tax for you Eugene. Now that I'd gotten back what I was owed, I decided to move on, but the story
didn't end there. An ex-colleague of mine who was still working for Eugene told me that during
the two weeks I didn't hear from the officer, Eugene was busy fighting by giving every reason that I was an exempted individual.
The officer, having seen my email, soon got tired of his nonsense and gave him a deadline
to pay up.
Or he'll be brought to court.
My colleague said that he'd never seen Eugene so defeated before.
To top it off, it seemed like karma had finally caught up to him as he started
losing more and more clients due to his unethical practices. The fine came when he had no clients
that month, so it was a very obvious dent in his spink account. Ultimately, it wasn't a huge
amount, but knowing Eugene's stingingness and ego, I think the damage was enough to qualify for
this sub. That was our slash pro revenge, and if you like this content, then follow my podcast, because
I put out new Reddit episodes every single day.