rSlash - r/Prorevenge I Tattooed a Giant 🍆 onto a Thief

Episode Date: October 16, 2022

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Welcome to our slash pro revenge where OP completely destroys a racist business. Our next reddit post is from reddit admin dumb. This occurred in a southern state. I won't mention the state because, well, you'll see, I was an account manager for a digital marketing company. We sold lead generation services to business owners to generate leads. One of our key selling features was that if you turned on call tracking numbers and you recorded phone calls, we'd guarantee you X amount of leads based on Y amount of spend. And if we failed to meet that, you'd be entitled to partial or possibly even a full refund. Now to understand this story, there's a few things you need to know about advertising.

A CTN is a call tracking number. It's a unique number that's assigned to a certain point of advertising that consumers call. This number is only on that one piece of advertising. It routes to the business line, and unless the consumer is very observant, they have no idea they're using a C-T-N. Call recording. If you turn on C-T-Ns, we can record the calls and store the audio on our servers. The business that we serve has to consent to this. Also, when you call, you'll hear a message.

This call is recorded for quality assurance, that type of thing. Both of these things are required to be eligible for our service guarantee. The business in question for this story was a small, dad-and-son contracting company with a couple employees. They primarily focused on smaller jobs such as windows, drainage, finishing, etc. Unfortunately, this business owner was a royal pain in the butt. Our relationship with this guy went back years, and his account was filled with nothing but complaints. Also, there was a strong suspicion that he was racist because his last account

manager was black. The business owner, Scott, refused to ever meet the black account manager in person. Also, I'm white, and he never had any issues finding the time to sit down with me and tell me how awful our service is. Well, the time was coming up to do contract renewal, and he says that we aren't producing his leads, and he wants to put in a claim that we failed to meet our service guarantee so that he can get a refund. I spoke to my manager about this, and he said that he wants me to listen to his calls, write a detailed report, and present my findings to the manager.

The manager is worried that this might end up in court due to the dollar amounts involved. After spending like 40 hours on this, I wrote a detailed 24-page report outlining the results of our advertising. To say that I shredded this business owner is an understatement. This report was a straight-up attack on his poor customer service skills, disorganization, inability to execute, and a complete and total failure up anything resembling any sense of standard business practices that just make logical sense. I'll share a few examples of the types of calls that I listen to. These were phone calls that were truly epic in their incompetence.

Customer number one. This customer was a small-time landlord who had three different properties that had received a quote from Scott for work. The landlord had accepted Scott's quote and agreed to do business. In one voicemail message, the landlord offered a pay deposit to start work. Throughout four voicemail messages, this poor landlord went from, hey, I want to pay you. Are you okay?

To why the effrante you were turning my calls? Yes, I said to pay you to, are you okay? To why the F aren't you returning my calls? Yes, I said voicemails. Scott had gone out to this guy's properties, quoted his pricing, and then just straight up refused to do anything more. Why, I legit have no idea. I called the customer and said that I was a quality assurance agent and I was doing a survey on Scott's performance.

This guy ended up paying Scott's competitor about 15% more to do the work and was utterly beside himself on why Scott ignored him. I was also confused. Customer number 2. This one in particular really pissed me off. A public housing office called Scott to get a quote on work that involved 25 different homes. Scott was kind enough to

answer the phone this time, which ironically was one of the few ephing times that he ever answered the phone. Initially, Scott sounded happy to get such a big profitable job. Then, Scott learned two things. It was Section 8 housing, which, if you don't know, is for poor people. It was a neighborhood that was primarily black and Hispanic. Immediately upon learning this, Scott told the housing office that, unfortunately, he's super-booked, which isn't true. And that this area is actually out of his service area. Again, not true.

The housing office was confused and was like, so you're not interested in bidding? And Scott said, no, I'm not, and hung up. He didn't even say goodbye. So I did a quality assurance call to the housing office and the lady was completely confused why Scott wasn't even remotely interested in the job. Luckily for Scott, the lady didn't connect that Scott was a racist douchebag

because discrimination against a protected class is a crime. Customer number 3 This was an overseas phone number from Japan, a service member stayed up late to call Scott during his business hours. This person told Scott that he was deployed overseas. But unfortunately, over the weekends, someone broken to his home back in the States where Scott operated. The customer was trying to arrange for a new door. He mentioned that this was an emergency because his wife was being forced to stay at a hotel.

Scott never returned this guy's call or made any effort to contact him on the email that he provided. He also never called the wife, who was local. This was a super easy job that Scott could have finished in like an hour or so and made a solid profit. So, in the end, my actual report said that out of ex-phone calls, Scott failed to properly service the leads in about 70% of the cases, and I could keep going. Still, even though I'd only been digging for one week, I felt a clear trend had been established. It wasn't that our service wasn't producing leads for Scott, it was that Scott was a racist, bigoted douchebag who everyone effing hated.

Obviously, I said that in more professional language. When I presented the report to my manager, he looked at it and said, damn, 24 pages, I asked if this was fine and he smiled and said, I got a pretty good idea of what it's gonna say. He said that he'd of what it's going to say. He said that he'd review it and get back to me. So a day later he came to me and said that he'd gone over the report, the VP had gone over the report, and he asked what I thought the recommended course of action should be. My recommendation, remove all discounts.

Charge Scott the full price for our services, and clearly explained to him that our job is to provide him with leads. It's his job to sell those leads. If you can't convert our leads into business and that's not our problem, Scott was getting a 70% discount. Our price was built with discounts in mind. My manager was like, oh, probably cancel and I ask my manager, and is that a problem? If Scott's gonna remain my client, then he's gonna pay dearly for that privilege.

If he's not willing to pay, I'm happy to let him walk. My manager smiled and said, nope, not a problem. My manager and I called Scott to arrange a meeting. I created a PowerPoint presentation summarizing my findings. About one-third of the way through, Scott gives in and tells me to get to the point. I knew this was going to be a heated meeting, so I wanted my manager present both to support and as a witness. So I explained to Scott that it's our job to bring him leads and it's his job to sell them. His failure to do that isn't our problem. He gets irritable and pissy and my manager backs me up.

He goes, fine, I'll renew my contract at the same rate, to which I say, yeah, you see, you didn't let me get to that part. We have new pricing for you. Scott says, lower? I say, oh no, not lower. My manager smirked. Scott asked me for the new rate.

I hit him with the full rate, which is three times what he was paying. Scott is furious with me, says that I'm overcharging him, says that I'm ripping him off, and says that I'm a horrible salesperson. He tells my manager that I should be fired for treating him like this. My manager looks at me. I'd been waiting for this moment. Truth be told, I gave zero F's about what Scott thought of me. If anything, my goal was to get him to cancel his contract. I said, Scott, you're a... hmmm...challenging

client. Therefore, the pricing of our service needs to reflect the challenge of providing you service. So, we'll be charging you our full rate. If you like, I'd be happy to go over why this return on investment still makes sense based on our past performance. It felt so amazing to say those words. It was the nicest way that I could say, you're a grunt and if I'm going to work for you, it's going to be worth my while. Scott said that we're a bunch of greedy, effing pricks.

He said, I'm gonna cancel to which I said, that's an outcome we've decided is acceptable. If that's what you wanna choose to do, Scott huffs and goes, and what about my refund? Dismayed, I say. Scott, we've clearly demonstrated that we did our parts. The reason why you aren't getting sales is because of your company's inability to close the leads that we generate.

Scott says, So you're saying that I don't know what I'm doing? To which I say, Scott, If you agree to sign at the new rate, I'd be happy to sit down with you and help you free of charge on how to improve your sales techniques and close more of your leads. This was me telling him that he doesn't know how to run his own business, which was very

much mint as an insult. Scott goes, nah, FU, I'm calling my lawyer, I say. So I take it that you're not going to renew? FNO. My manager says, that's fine, would you like us to email you our report on your leads? Scott says, sure, I'll show my lawyer. And by the way, we never heard from Scott's lawyer. We wish Scott a good day and he leaves. Later, we wrote him an email, attached the report, and also told him that if his lawyer would like the recording in question, we can send over that

file as well. Our bases were covered, and we knew it. I suspect that Scott also came to that realization, but he had too much pride to admit that. A few weeks go by, and my manager says that we have to shut down his account, so I need to call him and ask him what he wants to do with the CTN numbers, which we control. In our contract, we say at the end of our agreement, the customer has the right to have the numbers ported over, for a fee. It would have been normal to waive the fee as a gesture of goodwill, but Scott deserves zero goodwill, and he received what he deserved. I tell my manager that there's no way that I'm porting the numbers for free, and just like his quote, I'm charging him the full rate of 15 bucks a number. The

total came out to just a bit over 100 bucks. So I call Scott and get his voicemail. I write him a registered letter, and in that letter, I outline that he has 30 days to respond. We have his CTNs, and if he's willing to pay a $15 per number port fee, we'll transfer those numbers back over to his phone provider. One morning, I woke up to about a dozen hateful text messages in which Scott told me to effing burn and hell. I took that to mean that Scott was not interested in porting over his numbers, and I reviewed

those text with my manager. We saved those messages and uploaded it to his account. So is that all? Of course not. So here I was with 7 CTN numbers that had been in service for literally years. Those 7 numbers were saved in Scott's customers phones. And to many of Scott's customers, those numbers were Scott's number. Now if I just let that number die, the customers would call Scott and simply be told, this number is no longer in service.

Now I'm not entirely sure if what I did was legal, but it's been quite a few years now, so I feel comfortable about introducing you to Bobby. Bobby was another southern boy, but as much of a douchebag that Scott was, Bobby was a sweetheart. His mama would bake me pies for our meetings. He was a complete joy to work with. Bobby also owned a similar business to Scotty, but Bobby's business was more advanced, did more types of jobs, and also service the same area. So I submitted

a service request to port all of Scott's 7 CTNs to Bobby's account, and I weighed the fee. So all of a sudden, hundreds of Scott's customers would think that they were calling Scott, but they'd get Bobby instead. Bobby had his calls ratted to his secretary, Ashley, who was an angel. Ashley was also a wickedly talented saleswoman, and I knew for a fact that she'd be able to take Scott's clients and convert them for Bobby. So, that's what I did. I had those seven CTNs ported over to Bobby. This did a few things that benefited nearly everyone involved. Bobby got more business.

I produced more leads for Bobby, which means Bobby was comfortable with spending more money on me, which meant I made more money. And finally, Scott's old customers got better service. At the next performance meeting with Bobby, Bobby was very pleased with the sudden uptick and new customers. He even asked me, what did you do to my account? I smiled and said, I reviewed your account and made a few tweaks. Have you seen any improvement?

He absolutely did. He asked me, did this cost me anything extra? I go, nope. He ended up increasing our spend with us by about 40% on additional services. I googled Scott's business about a year later, and he wasn't in business anymore. Hmm, I wonder why. And no, my company never caught on to me porting over the numbers. I strongly suspect that our legal department would not have been pleased. Honestly, O OP, I don't know what kind of contract you signed with Scott, but I'm not even sure if you're porting over the numbers as illegal in the first place.

After all, you said that your company owns them, so if you own them, you can do whatever you want to with them, right? And luckily for Bobby, you use those numbers to destroy a racist douchebag. Our next reddit post is from the dragon system. This happened when I was young. I heard it second hand from my grandmother, who the main character of the cast live with at the time. My uncle's ex-girlfriend was an all around horrible person.

Abusive babysitter, got my uncle in the bad crowds in legal trouble, and dabbled in so many substances from A to Z. She was also heavily tattooed. There was a tattoo artist, the star of this story, who was a family friend. He was a great dude who did insane work. She asked him to do a piece for her. Huge intricate angel wings across her back. Oh, the irony.

He agrees. The tattoo takes several sessions across weeks. She repeatedly has to postpone payments, but he's chill about it. Until it comes to the last session, when it slips that she still doesn't have the money, and more importantly, won't have the money, like ever. Now, the pro revenge. He just smiles, waves it off, and says it'll finish up. No charge. It's going to be a great piece. Legendary.

One for the history books he guarantees. She stoked. So right between those gorgeous wings, right up her spine, this idiot now has a massive veiny male appendage proudly proudly standing at attention upper spine. She saw it in the mirror when he finished and she was livid. But hey, what's she gonna do? She didn't pay him and wasn't gonna pay him and expected hours and hours of work. You give a lot of trust to someone when they take a needle to your skin to lay down something

permanent. So, don't stiff your tattoo artists. That was our slash pro revenge. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.