rSlash - r/Relationships My GF Cheated On Me And Got Pregnant... Should I Stay With Her?

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

r/Relationships_Advice In today's episode, OP gets some truly awful news. He finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with another man, and got pregnant from it! He wants out of the relationship, ...but he's surprised that all of his friends and even his family is pressuring him to stay with her. Even his own dad is fighting with him that he needs to support her. What should he do? Should he dump his cheating girlfriend, or stick with her? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, I'm Pete Davidson. People are always asking me, Pete, how do you always keep elevating? And to be honest, I have no idea. Is it my swive nature? My incredibly brilliant brain. Or maybe it's new smart water alkaline with antioxidant and a higher pH.
Starting point is 00:00:17 The skin does look glowing. Hey, thanks, creepy radio announcer, dude. All good, Pete. Elevate how you hydrate and keep it smart. Like me! With smart water alkaline. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Today's subreddit is R-Slash Relationship Advice, where OPs girlfriend cheats on them and then gets pregnant. I'm a 26 year old female and my 27 year old fiance left me for his one that got away four years ago. They divorced and now he wants to get back together. My fiancé broke our engagement off when his high school girlfriend moved to our city.
Starting point is 00:00:55 They quickly got engaged, married, and had a baby within a year. I was so blindsided and hurt. I don't think I ever really got over my ex, which is why I'm making this post to get some outside insight. My ex reached out a few days ago to catch up. He claimed that he were greater breaking up with me two months after he did it, but because his ex-wife was pregnant at the time, he felt he owed it to his son to try and make it work. He said their relationship quickly fell apart when he realized his ex wasn't looking for a life partner but someone to financially support her. He said the financial issues is what finally led to their divorce.
Starting point is 00:01:30 They've been divorced for six months and have two children together. According to him, his ex regularly tries to get back together with them and he doesn't want her. He ended up asking me if I was willing to give him a second chance. In some ways, my ex has become the one that got away, and I probably would have jumped at the chance to get back with him a few months ago. However, I've recently been talking to this guy, and while we aren't official or anything, we did go on a date two weeks ago, which went really well. I feel like he could progress
Starting point is 00:01:57 into something good, and I don't know if my ex is worth losing it over. I'd appreciate any advice on what to do in this situation. Your X sounds like a wishy-washy tool bag and if you took him back, then there's a pretty good chance that he would have zero respect for you. I mean, if you took him back after he dumped you once, what's stopping him from just doing it again? OP, you need to understand that he wasn't the one who got away. You're the one that got away.
Starting point is 00:02:23 I'm a 24-year-old male and my long-term girlfriend who's 22 cheated on me and got pregnant, but everyone around me keeps pressuring me to stay with her. So we grew up together in a small town, we'd known each other for our whole lives, and eventually we fell in love when she was 17 and we moved to the city together two years ago. I work as a carpenter and she's still at university. Two weeks ago, she suddenly dropped the news that she's three weeks pregnant. I know for sure that it can't be mine because I always use protection and I never passionately hug under drugs or alcohol. So I pressured her and she confessed that she slept with an extreme student during a school vacation trip. She said that
Starting point is 00:03:00 he's been hitting on her for weeks, but it was unplanned. That's why he didn't have a condom prepared and she didn't have pills ready. And it's only a one-time thing and she has no feelings for the guy anymore. I was totally in shock, but after a day, I realized that I can't stay in this relationship anymore. First, I'm not ready to raise a child that's not my own. Second, I don't know if I'm able to forgive her for betraying me, at least not in the moment. So, I broke off a relationship and asked my boss if I could stay in the worker rooms at the warehouse and let my girlfriend stay at our place until she finds a house. I pay full rent because I'm the only one who's
Starting point is 00:03:37 working. So, eventually our families and mutual friends got the news, and now they're all pressuring me to get back with my girlfriend, except for my sister who supports me. They say it's wrong to abandon her at a time like this, especially my dad, who I've had a fight with every two days because of this. He said that he knows she's a good girl, she's just a young person who made a mistake, that I should stay with her and give the child up for adoption, and my friends keep messaging me convincing me to take her back. One of them even accuses me that because I'm the reason she moved to the city, it's
Starting point is 00:04:09 my responsibility. Now I'm heartbroken, lonely, and shattered. It feels like this whole world doesn't give a single F about how I feel. I just want to move to a new city and start everything from zero, but I don't have the courage. Maybe some advice from you guys would ease the stress? OP, based on the way that you're telling this story, it sounds like your girlfriend had zero intention of revealing to you that she cheated on you. It sounds like she was going to try and pass off the baby as yours, and the only reason why she did is because you pressured her into telling the truth. Your girlfriend is a liar and a cheater, and if everyone is so insistent that she raised
Starting point is 00:04:47 the baby, then she can go raise it with her baby daddy. So please OP, for your own sake, don't let this manipulative girlfriend destroy your life. I'm a 27 year old woman, and my soon to be ex-husband forced me into an open marriage, and is now telling everyone that I cheated on him. How do I prove my innocence? Two years ago, my husband asked me if we get open our marriage. We've been married for three years together for five. And when I said that I wasn't comfortable with that, he said either we open our marriage
Starting point is 00:05:16 or get a divorce. I didn't want a divorce, so I agreed to an open marriage. The next year was awful. He would flaunt all the girls he was sleeping with in front of me. He would even bring them to our apartment to sleep with WHILE I was home. He even slept with my now ex-best friend, Jane, and tried to have a threesome with us. When I tried to voice my concerns, he dismissed them and said that I had my chances at rules when we first had the discussion, and I couldn't complain now.
Starting point is 00:05:45 After that first year, I ended up confiding in my friend Anna, who's 27. Anna and I have been friends since high school, but she never liked my husband, so we drifted apart after I got married. When I told her what was happening, she insisted I go back to work. My husband made me quit my job when we got married, despite the fact that I had higher earning potential than him, and we've struggled with money ever since. She ended up connecting me with her 30-year-old brother, Leo, who's the owner of a company in the field that I was planning to pursue my career in.
Starting point is 00:06:14 After an informal interview, he offered me a job. My husband wasn't happy, and kept insisting that I quit. He even offered to close our marriage if I would just quit, but I didn't want to be dependent on him again, so I refused. He even threatened divorce, but by this point I was checked out of the relationship, so I didn't care." Childhood vaccines have been around for decades, and are safe and proven to help protect children against 14 preventable diseases. Learn more at Canada.ca slash childhood vaccines. A message from the government of Canada. team can even teach you how to use them. Like smart score by tip ranks, which helps you identify whether to buy, hold, or sell.
Starting point is 00:07:07 So you can trade with confidence. Switch today and get up to $50 worth of free trades. Visit questray.com and use the promo code quest conditions apply. About eight months later Anna offered to let me move in with her since her roommate was moving out. I took her up on the offer and filed for divorce. Anna and Leo helped me move my stuff out when my husband was moving out. I took her up on the offer and filed for divorce. Anna and Leo helped me move my stuff out when my husband was at work. My husband is now telling my family and friends
Starting point is 00:07:30 that I was having an affair with Leo this whole time. I wasn't, but most people believe him. Most of my friends are insisting I go back to my husband and have made comments about how I'm trying to climb the social ladder by sleeping with Leo. They've been giving me a lot of lectures about how money is in everything, and sometimes you find a good man who loves you, and you shouldn't throw him away just because someone else can offer you more materialistic stuff. Jane, in particular, is very vocal about how much of a slut I am. Just for context, she used to like Leo back in high school, but he rejected her multiple times. So I think she's being especially vicious because she thinks something is really going on between us.
Starting point is 00:08:09 I don't have any written proof about this whole open marriage fiasco, so I can't show them that. Is there any other way I can convince them that I wasn't sleeping around? How can I stop letting the rumors he's spreading affect me? OP, really the only thing you can do is tell your friends and family your side of the story. Then, essentially, it's entirely up to them if they believe you are not. And if they don't, you should cut them out of your life just like you cut your husband
Starting point is 00:08:34 out of your life. You should definitely keep Anna and Leo though, they seem like good people. I'm a 26 year old woman and my 27 year old fiance gave my brother alone. He's refusing to pay it back, and now my parents hate my fiance for threatening to take him to court and want me to break up with him. My brother is the golden child. All our life, our parents have handed him things
Starting point is 00:08:55 and have conditioned me and my sister to do the same. So when my brother asked my fiance for a 15,000-pound loan, I stupidly didn't tell him not to give it to him. The thing is, my brother never pays anyone back. I've given him 5,000lbs before and I've never seen a penny back. My brother was supposed to pay my fiance back last week and to no one's surprise, he's claimed he doesn't have the money.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I think my fiance would have just dropped it, but my brother said some pretty degrading things about my fiance and his family and their financial situation to his face. He then made a tasteless joke about how my family should ask him for a bride price. Turns out, my fiance is smarter than the rest of us and had my brother sign an agreement before he gave him the money. He's now threatening to take him to court if he doesn't repay him the money by the end of October. My parents are furious because my brother definitely doesn't have the money to repay him and they think my fiance is greedy and selfish. They've been demanding I break up with him because they don't want someone like that
Starting point is 00:09:55 in the family. My sister is egging my fiance on because my brother has taken a lot of money from her before too and she thinks that he deserves this. My sister-in-law has been begging me to make my fiance drop this since they really can't afford it and they just had a baby. My fiance said that he doesn't want any of my family, excluding my sister coming to our wedding. I don't want to break up with my fiance, but I also don't want to get married without
Starting point is 00:10:19 my parents being there. I know that they're in the wrong here, but I feel like banning my parents who never took the money is a bit extreme. What can I do to make them all come to an agreement? Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from MM172 because I think he hit the nail on the head. You can't make them come to an agreement. What you can do is come to terms with the fact that your parents would rather ruin your future happiness and stand back and let your brother face the consequences of his actions like an adult for once. Let alone actually hold him accountable for behaving like a butthole and decide what you want to do about that.
Starting point is 00:10:54 And since it sounds like you don't actually want to break up with your fiance, that means telling them that you don't want to hear another word about it, even if it means that they won't be coming to the wedding. Yeah, OP, I agree with this reddit user. Your family, with the exception of your sister, sounds really toxic and emotionally abusive. And you have to finally stand up to their emotional abuse or just cut them out of your life. I know it's gonna be hard, but if they don't come around in their behavior, then it's really your only option.
Starting point is 00:11:21 That, or keep them in your life and just continue to be poor and miserable. Personally speaking, if someone didn't pay my $15,000 loan, then you can damn well better believe that I would be taking them to court. I'm a 23-year-old guy and I found a sex tape on my girlfriend's phone and it wasn't ours. I've been dating this girl for over 5 years. She's very special to me. Even at this point, I can't help but hope that she's not too worried about why I've been
Starting point is 00:11:49 acting so oddly. I honestly was planning on marrying her sometime in the future as soon as we settled into our adult lives. One day we were chilling at her house when I asked her if she could send me the funny picture she took earlier that day of one of our puppies. She was busy on our computer so she told me to just grab her phone and send it to myself. When I went to her phone gallery, I noticed a hidden folder which I hadn't seen before. Out of curiosity, I opened it, and it was filled with her nudes. Most I've already seen, some of which she's never
Starting point is 00:12:20 sent to me before. I thought maybe she was stockpiling for whenever I asked for any. I clicked on a video. It was an adult video taken from the point of view of the guy, but the thing is, I don't remember ever filming it. It 100% wasn't me. Trust me, I know what my own little dude looks like. My girlfriend recorded passionately hugging with another man. For the last five years, we've had a few share of fights, but nothing too serious. She's always made me feel loved, and I could tell that she really cares about me. Or at least I thought she did. After I returned her phone, I quickly got up and went home. I couldn't stay there any longer, and now I'm here. I don't really know what to do.
Starting point is 00:13:02 I'm planning on confronting her and breaking it off right now, but I'm just so in shock. Five years down the drain and I feel like I just lost my best friend. I'm not really sure how to feel. I can't thank straight. What would be the best way to handle the situation? Opie, my recommendation is to just rip off the bandaid. Not only did your girlfriend cheat on you, but she apparently loved the experience so much that she decided to keep the video. So she can't even begin to say that it was just a one-time mistake and she regrets it so much. So yeah, OP, if it were me, I mean, I consider that to be a major deal breaker, so I would
Starting point is 00:13:41 just end it right then and there. That was our Slash Relationship Advice, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out a new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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