rSlash - r/Relationships My GF Cheated On Me And Got Pregnant... Should I Stay With Her?
Episode Date: October 13, 2020r/Relationships_Advice In today's episode, OP gets some truly awful news. He finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with another man, and got pregnant from it! He wants out of the relationship, ...but he's surprised that all of his friends and even his family is pressuring him to stay with her. Even his own dad is fighting with him that he needs to support her. What should he do? Should he dump his cheating girlfriend, or stick with her? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read
the best post from across Reddit.
Today's subreddit is R-Slash Relationship Advice,
where OPs girlfriend cheats on them
and then gets pregnant.
I'm a 26 year old female and my 27 year old fiance
left me for his one that got away
four years ago.
They divorced and now he wants to get back together.
My fiancé broke our engagement off when his high school girlfriend moved to our city.
They quickly got engaged, married, and had a baby within a year.
I was so blindsided and hurt.
I don't think I ever really got over my ex, which is why I'm making
this post to get some outside insight. My ex reached out a few days ago to catch up. He claimed
that he were greater breaking up with me two months after he did it, but because his ex-wife
was pregnant at the time, he felt he owed it to his son to try and make it work. He said their
relationship quickly fell apart when he realized his ex wasn't looking for a life partner but someone to financially support her.
He said the financial issues is what finally led to their divorce.
They've been divorced for six months and have two children together.
According to him, his ex regularly tries to get back together with them and he doesn't
want her.
He ended up asking me if I was willing to give him a second chance.
In some ways, my ex has become the one that got away,
and I probably would have jumped at the chance to get back with him a few months ago.
However, I've recently been talking to this guy, and while we aren't official or anything,
we did go on a date two weeks ago, which went really well. I feel like he could progress
into something good, and I don't know if my ex is worth losing it over. I'd appreciate
any advice on what to do in this situation.
Your X sounds like a wishy-washy tool bag and if you took him back, then there's a pretty
good chance that he would have zero respect for you.
I mean, if you took him back after he dumped you once, what's stopping him from just doing
it again?
OP, you need to understand that he wasn't the one who got away.
You're the one that got away.
I'm a 24-year-old male and my long-term girlfriend
who's 22 cheated on me and got pregnant, but everyone around me keeps pressuring me to stay with her.
So we grew up together in a small town, we'd known each other for our whole lives, and eventually
we fell in love when she was 17 and we moved to the city together two years ago. I work as a
carpenter and she's still at university. Two weeks ago, she suddenly
dropped the news that she's three weeks pregnant. I know for sure that it can't be mine because I
always use protection and I never passionately hug under drugs or alcohol. So I pressured her and
she confessed that she slept with an extreme student during a school vacation trip. She said that
he's been hitting on her for weeks, but it was unplanned. That's why he didn't have a condom prepared and she didn't have pills ready.
And it's only a one-time thing and she has no feelings for the guy anymore.
I was totally in shock, but after a day, I realized that I can't stay in this relationship
anymore.
First, I'm not ready to raise a child that's not my own.
Second, I don't know if I'm able to forgive her for betraying me, at least not in the moment. So, I broke off a relationship and asked
my boss if I could stay in the worker rooms at the warehouse and let my girlfriend stay
at our place until she finds a house. I pay full rent because I'm the only one who's
working. So, eventually our families and mutual friends got the news, and now they're all
pressuring me to get back with my girlfriend, except for my sister who supports me.
They say it's wrong to abandon her at a time like this, especially my dad, who I've
had a fight with every two days because of this.
He said that he knows she's a good girl, she's just a young person who made a mistake,
that I should stay with her and give the child up for adoption, and my friends keep messaging
me convincing me to take her back.
One of them even accuses me that because I'm the reason she moved to the city, it's
my responsibility. Now I'm heartbroken, lonely, and shattered. It feels like this whole
world doesn't give a single F about how I feel. I just want to move to a new city and
start everything from zero, but I don't have the courage. Maybe some advice from you guys would ease the stress?
OP, based on the way that you're telling this story, it sounds like your girlfriend
had zero intention of revealing to you that she cheated on you.
It sounds like she was going to try and pass off the baby as yours, and the only reason
why she did is because you pressured her into telling the truth.
Your girlfriend is a liar and a cheater, and if everyone is so insistent that she raised
the baby, then she can go raise it with her baby daddy.
So please OP, for your own sake, don't let this manipulative girlfriend destroy your life.
I'm a 27 year old woman, and my soon to be ex-husband forced me into an open marriage,
and is now telling everyone that I cheated on him.
How do I prove my innocence?
Two years ago, my husband asked me if we get open our marriage.
We've been married for three years together for five.
And when I said that I wasn't comfortable with that, he said either we open our marriage
or get a divorce.
I didn't want a divorce, so I agreed to an open marriage.
The next year was awful.
He would flaunt all the girls he was sleeping
with in front of me. He would even bring them to our apartment to sleep with WHILE I was
home. He even slept with my now ex-best friend, Jane, and tried to have a threesome with
us. When I tried to voice my concerns, he dismissed them and said that I had my chances at
rules when we first had the discussion, and I couldn't complain now.
After that first year, I ended up confiding in my friend Anna, who's 27.
Anna and I have been friends since high school, but she never liked my husband, so we
drifted apart after I got married.
When I told her what was happening, she insisted I go back to work.
My husband made me quit my job when we got married, despite the fact that I had higher
earning potential than him, and we've struggled with money ever since.
She ended up connecting me with her 30-year-old brother, Leo, who's the owner of a company in
the field that I was planning to pursue my career in.
After an informal interview, he offered me a job.
My husband wasn't happy, and kept insisting that I quit.
He even offered to close our marriage if I would just quit, but I didn't want
to be dependent on him again, so I refused. He even threatened divorce, but by this point
I was checked out of the relationship, so I didn't care."
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About eight months later Anna offered to let me move in with her since her roommate was
moving out.
I took her up on the offer and filed for divorce.
Anna and Leo helped me move my stuff out when my husband was moving out. I took her up on the offer and filed for divorce. Anna and Leo helped
me move my stuff out when my husband was at work. My husband is now telling my family and friends
that I was having an affair with Leo this whole time. I wasn't, but most people believe him.
Most of my friends are insisting I go back to my husband and have made comments about how I'm
trying to climb the social ladder by sleeping with Leo. They've been giving me a lot
of lectures about how money is in everything, and sometimes you find a good man who loves you,
and you shouldn't throw him away just because someone else can offer you more materialistic stuff.
Jane, in particular, is very vocal about how much of a slut I am. Just for context, she used to
like Leo back in high school, but he rejected her multiple times. So I think she's being especially vicious because she thinks something is really going
on between us.
I don't have any written proof about this whole open marriage fiasco, so I can't show
them that.
Is there any other way I can convince them that I wasn't sleeping around?
How can I stop letting the rumors he's spreading affect me?
OP, really the only thing you can do is tell your friends and family your side of the
story.
Then, essentially, it's entirely up to them if they believe you are not.
And if they don't, you should cut them out of your life just like you cut your husband
out of your life.
You should definitely keep Anna and Leo though, they seem like good people.
I'm a 26 year old woman and my 27 year old fiance gave my brother alone.
He's refusing to pay it back, and now my parents hate my fiance
for threatening to take him to court
and want me to break up with him.
My brother is the golden child.
All our life, our parents have handed him things
and have conditioned me and my sister to do the same.
So when my brother asked my fiance
for a 15,000-pound loan,
I stupidly didn't tell him not to give it to him.
The thing is, my brother never pays anyone back.
I've given him 5,000lbs before and I've never seen a penny back.
My brother was supposed to pay my fiance back last week and to no one's surprise, he's
claimed he doesn't have the money.
I think my fiance would have just dropped it, but my brother said some pretty degrading
things about my fiance and his family and their financial situation to his face. He then made a tasteless joke about
how my family should ask him for a bride price. Turns out, my fiance is smarter than the rest of
us and had my brother sign an agreement before he gave him the money. He's now threatening to
take him to court if he doesn't repay him the money by the end of October. My parents are
furious because my brother definitely doesn't have the money to repay him and
they think my fiance is greedy and selfish.
They've been demanding I break up with him because they don't want someone like that
in the family.
My sister is egging my fiance on because my brother has taken a lot of money from her before
too and she thinks that he deserves this.
My sister-in-law has been begging me to make my fiance drop this since they really can't
afford it and they just had a baby.
My fiance said that he doesn't want any of my family, excluding my sister coming to our
wedding.
I don't want to break up with my fiance, but I also don't want to get married without
my parents being there.
I know that they're in the wrong here, but I feel like banning my parents who never took the money is a bit extreme. What can I do to make them all come to an agreement?
Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from MM172 because I think he hit the nail
on the head. You can't make them come to an agreement. What you can do is come to terms with the
fact that your parents would rather ruin your future happiness and stand back and let your brother
face the consequences of his actions like an adult for once.
Let alone actually hold him accountable for behaving like a butthole and decide what you want
to do about that.
And since it sounds like you don't actually want to break up with your fiance, that means
telling them that you don't want to hear another word about it, even if it means that
they won't be coming to the wedding.
Yeah, OP, I agree with this reddit user.
Your family, with the exception of your sister, sounds really toxic and emotionally abusive.
And you have to finally stand up to their emotional abuse or just cut them out of your life.
I know it's gonna be hard, but if they don't come around in their behavior, then it's
really your only option.
That, or keep them in your life and just continue to be poor and miserable.
Personally speaking, if someone didn't pay my $15,000 loan, then you can damn well better
believe that I would be taking them to court.
I'm a 23-year-old guy and I found a sex tape on my girlfriend's phone and it wasn't
ours.
I've been dating this girl for over 5 years.
She's very special to me.
Even at this point, I can't help but hope that she's not too worried about why I've been
acting so oddly.
I honestly was planning on marrying her sometime in the future as soon as we settled into our
adult lives.
One day we were chilling at her house when I asked her if she could send me the funny picture
she took earlier that day of one of our puppies.
She was busy on our computer so she told me to just grab her phone and send it to myself. When I went to her phone
gallery, I noticed a hidden folder which I hadn't seen before. Out of curiosity, I opened
it, and it was filled with her nudes. Most I've already seen, some of which she's never
sent to me before. I thought maybe she was stockpiling for whenever I asked for any.
I clicked on a video. It was an adult video taken from the point of view of the guy,
but the thing is, I don't remember ever filming it. It 100% wasn't me. Trust me, I know what my
own little dude looks like. My girlfriend recorded passionately hugging with another man.
For the last five years, we've had a few share of fights, but nothing too serious.
She's always made me feel loved, and I could tell that she really cares about me. Or at least I thought she did.
After I returned her phone, I quickly got up and went home.
I couldn't stay there any longer, and now I'm here. I don't really know what to do.
I'm planning on confronting her and breaking it off right now, but I'm just so in shock.
Five years down the drain and I feel like I just lost my best friend. I'm not really sure how to feel.
I can't thank straight. What would be the best way to handle the situation?
Opie, my recommendation is to just rip off the bandaid. Not only did your girlfriend cheat on you, but she apparently loved the experience so much
that she decided to keep the video.
So she can't even begin to say that it was just a one-time mistake and she regrets it
so much.
So yeah, OP, if it were me, I mean, I consider that to be a major deal breaker, so I would
just end it right then and there.
That was our Slash Relationship Advice,
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