rSlash - r/Relationships My Priest Blackmailed Me To Sleep With Him!

Episode Date: December 19, 2020

r/Relationships_Advice OP's fiancé is close friends with a priest. That priest gives OP some major creepy vibes. OP's fiancé convinces her to confide in the priest, so she does. Then, the priest turns around and uses the confessional to blackmail her into sleeping with him. "Either sleep with me, or I'll tell your fiancé what you confessed to me!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At Salesforce, we're all about asking more of AI. Questions like, where's the data going? Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVai.com. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from a cross-reddit.

Today's subreddit is our slash relationship advice, where OP gets in trouble by getting a tattoo on her butt. I'm a 20-year-old female, and my and my 22 year old boyfriend assumed that I was in the rough intercourse because of my race, and now I feel unsure about us. My boyfriend and I were going to passionately hug each other. It was going to be my first time, but not his. Things started off normal with kissing. Then, he started pushing me on the bed and holding me down, no foreplay or anything.

I was obviously shocked and scared because I didn't expect that. I was screaming stop and no and he stopped. He looked confused and asked what was wrong. I told him like WTF I thought we were going to go slow. He was still giving me confused looks and at that point I was annoyed. I reminded him that this was my first time, so I would prefer to take things slowly. He says he knows that, but he thought that I'd like it rough. He also told me that he's never been with a black girl before, and he thought

black girls like it rough. I was mad and said no, I'm not okay with it rough, and I was mad that he used a stereotype on me. I didn't want to do it anymore and I asked if he could just leave me alone so he left. I'm just so confused, like I was just even real. I've never even heard of that as a stereotype. I don't know if it's like an adult video thing or something, I don't watch those videos, I'm just not into them. But even if that is a thing, I'm mad that he just assumed things about me. He knows that it was my first time, but he was still rough with me.

I'm unsure now, because I don't know what else Stereotypesy has about me because I'm black. Well OP, I'd like to consider myself a connoisseur of adult videos. And to my knowledge, no, that's not a stereotype. Even outside of adult videos and just like normal world stuff, I've never heard of that stereotype, so I don't know what OP is talking about. Major, major red flags coming from your boyfriend, but can we just stop for a second and give a major round of applause to OP for setting clear boundaries on your first time?

I think a lot of people, guys and girls would be way too nervous to set clear boundaries on your first time. I think a lot of people, guys and girls would be way too nervous to set clear boundaries like that on their first time, but you told your boyfriend that what he was doing wasn't okay and you stuck to your gun, so made your props OP, I'm proud of you. My boyfriend says I cheated on him by getting a tattoo on my butt. I'm 23 and he's 26, we've been together for over a year. I have five tattoos, and for my 5th tattoo I had the first session earlier this week. It's on my hip towards my butt. All my other tattoos aren't pretty innocent places, two on my thigh, one on my back, and one on my foot.

My boyfriend isn't really interested in body art, and he listens to me talk about what pieces I want, but he's not super actively into it like I am. The piece I'm getting was originally planned to be lower on my thigh, but I talked to my artist, and we figured the design flows better on my butt, lol. Plus, I think it looks sexy, and I wanted to do something different and more daring than yet another thigh tattoo. Anyways, I got home from my first session and showed my boyfriend. He got angry and was like, why'd you get it there?

Did you have to take your underwear off of that? Who saw you get it, and so on. He asked why I didn't tell him that I was gonna get it there and how long it took to get. My artist is a guy and is into my other pieces and he's super professional. I told my boyfriend as much and that it wasn't any different from a doctor's senior body and it's not like I was naked, and someone jamming a needle into your flesh is hardly sexy. My boyfriend still says that letting another man see me like that and touch me on my butt is cheating, and I should have asked him or taken him with me to the shop, even though the shop only lets in one person at a time right now. He's being hard-headed and it's really frustrating.

I don't think that what I did should count as cheating, but I don't know how to make him feel better about this, especially since I have at least two more sessions before it's really frustrating. I don't think that what I did should count as cheating, but I don't know how to make and feel better about this, especially since I have at least two more sessions before it's done. Down in the comments, I'm gonna read this reply from Delicious Lobster because I think they really got it right. Every relationship negotiates their own boundaries for cheating. I wouldn't think professional care nudity is cheating. Tattoo's, waxing, doctors, massage, etc. No one's getting any sexual or romantic juice out of it.

Tell him that him being upset does not equate to you doing something wrong. You can choose whatever professional services for your body that you want. Set your hard and soft boundaries and never give on your hard boundaries. I'm a 27 year old woman and my 37 year old husband wants his creepy sexually manipulative friend, maybe 40 years old, to baptize our baby and I feel sick about it. My husband is the greatest man ever, he's incredibly kind, generous, intelligent and loving. On top of this, he's an adorable nerd, which to me is a great quality, his dorky jokes are my favorite thing.

But that means that he was bullied a lot as a kid and wasn't terribly socially confident. He's definitely a follower, not a leader. I think all these qualities are relevant in the current situation. At the time I met my husband, I was struggling with an addiction to prescription medication,

which I developed while studying at a very competitive college. By the time I started dating my husband, it was getting impossible to hide the fact that I had a serious problem. While he was incredibly supportive and encouraged me to seek help, I was ashamed. So, I lied. I told him that I was already seeking professional help and that I really was getting better. When in reality, I was just trying to go cold turkey and chup all the emotions down until they went away. Authors note, this is not a good strategy. I immediately felt awful about this, which just made me more reluctant

to come clean. At this time, my husband introduced me to his old childhood friend whom I'll call Adam. Adam is a Catholic priest and was staying with my husband at the time. Both Adam and my husband are from a Catholic country in Europe. Both of their families are part of one of those charismatic movements, which is like a very close-knit conservative church group. Because Adam was always the cool and confident guy growing up, my husband worshipped Adam. My husband talked Adam up to me and was insistent that I talk to Adam alone about my addiction problems because he sincerely believed that Adam could help me with my recovery. I met with Adam a total of four times over the course of one week. All of these meetings took place in my husband's apartment when

my husband was out. During the first session, he seemed nice and helpful, and because I was feeling so bad about lying to my husband, I pretty much fast up to him straight away. Basically, from this point forward, Adam creeped me out. I don't know how to explain it other than to say that he was constantly looking at me like I was food. I think I'll remember this next part till the day I die, it was so awful. During our fourth and final session, Adam asked me a series of questions about the kind of sexual things that I'd done with my husband, who was at that time still my boyfriend. When I told him honestly that we didn't do anything physical other than hug and kiss,

he laughed, and said that my husband was always so bad with girls and if I were used correctly, I would be much happier and my addiction issues would go away. I was just kinda dumbstruck. He moved closer to me and said verbatim. Think about it this way. God does everything for a reason, and he made you very sexually attractive to please men. Isn't it wrong that you're not using your gift correctly? Does it not follow that you would feel more fulfilled if you did use it

correctly? At this point, my brain was screaming no, so I told him no. Right away, he got hostile and threatened and a whole lot more words to expose my light of my husband if I didn't have sexual intercourse with him. Your holiday could use a little extra. A bit more. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Or maybe a whole lot of. Add some extra. Oh your holiday gatherings when you add ice cold Coke to your cart.

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Yeah, no. I did not hesitate to tell my husband about my lie and about his backstabbing awful friend. I'm so, so grateful my husband believed me and that he gave me a second chance. My husband, always the upstanding citizen, reported the incident to Adam's home diocese in Europe, which put him on indefinitely. I'm pretty sure this is Catholic for fired because he's a freaking creep. This was two and a half years ago, and the meantime I got professional help we got married, and we're now expecting a baby. Before the virus, my husband got a grant to work on a project near his old hometown where Adam is passing his time and leave. So we're all living in the same area.

I took it for granted that we weren't talking to Adam. My husband was very upset by everything that happened, and I specifically remember him saying, I never want to see that man again. Yesterday evening, however, my husband casually mentioned when he was getting out of the shower that he looked forward to playing soccer with Adam and his brothers in the summer, after the virus had passed and our baby was born. I stayed calm and asked him what the hell he was talking about. He said he didn't want to tell me at first, but Adam had reached out to him via his family

when we first arrived in the area and apologized for what he'd done. They've been talking and texting for months now, and according to my husband, Adam is so happy that his actions didn't hurt my relationship with my husband and is looking forward to baptizing our baby. My husband's basic reasoning here is that everyone deserves a second chance and that all's well because Adam humbled himself enough to apologize. Yeah, hell to the F, no.

This man is not getting anywhere near my baby. Not only was he gross and manipulative, but he also tried to use religion to justify it, which I think means he's the last person he should be involved in a baptism. Also, I may be judgmental here, but I don't believe for one second that Adam is really sorry. On the other hand, I've also benefited from my husband's everybody deserves a second chance policy, and I feel hypocritical telling him this guy doesn't deserve a second chance. My husband seems to show some kind of understanding that I would be upset by this, as he was

pretty sheepish about explaining the situation, but he also just seems to think that I'll get over it. What the hell do I do here? Can I forbid Adam from ever getting near my baby? Oh, P, this guy tried to blackmail you into having intercourse with him. So no, he has completely lost the privilege to a second chance. I say ditch at him entirely, and if your husband tries to push it, ditch your husband too. I can't believe he would even want to be in the same room as a guy who tried to blackmail his wife into sleeping with him.

How can he possibly think that that's forgivable? If my best friend tried to blackmail my wife into sleeping with him, then I wouldn't piss on him even if he was on fire. I have a very interesting update for today's video. In an earlier r-slash in my The Butthole video, I covered this post. Am I the butthole for not punishing my daughter for mocking her cousin? And as a very quick recap, Opie's wife is super close to her sister. OP and his sister-in-law both have daughters around the same age, and his wife is constantly pressuring his daughter to be friends with her cousin. However, OP's daughter absolutely hates her cousin, and after OP's wife forced the two cousins to hang out with each other again, OP's daughter made a presentation about why she hates the cousins so much. So with that in mind,

we have this relationship advice post. My daughter, a 15-year-old girl, was shown a hurtful video made by her cousin, who's 16. I have a really good relationship with my sister and thought that her family's got along pretty well. My daughter is a little socially awkward and always looks forward to visiting with her cousins because they're around the same age. It wasn't a super frequent thing, just phone calls on birthdays, holiday visits, and the occasional family trip to the beach. With the pandemic, we haven't been able to do family trips, so instead we started trying to stay in touch via family Zoom video calls instead.

A week or so ago, we did a call just to check in and say hi. My daughter was happy to see her aunt and her cousins. My daughter had mentioned that her cousin closest to her in age had been acting weird, but we figured that it was just pandemic stress and let it go. We decided to stop by and drop off their Christmas gifts the other day and say on the porch for safety reasons. My brother-in-law answered, I'm pretty sure he's never liked me, but that's probably relevant, and he told me to just wait there while he got my sister to deal with us.

While he was gone, their oldest daughter came to the door with a smirk on her face and asked how we were doing. We had some idol chatter, then she mentioned something about how if we had a gift for her younger sister, the 16 year old daughter from the title, we should probably just give it to her instead or take it back. I asked why, and she whipped out our tablet and showed me a recording of a presentation where the middle cousin had recorded clips from the zoom call with my daughter, and spent the entire time mocking her. I won't get into specifics, but it was incredibly hurtful, and my daughter started

crying and walked away to sit in the car before the video presentation was even finished. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. By the time my sister came to the door, I was in tears myself. My sister saw her eldest with a tablet and seemed to immediately know what had happened in the assort to go back inside. My sister looked at me and told me she was sorry, but all I could do was shake my head and gather the gifts to leave. I spent the evening with my daughter trying to cheer her up, but I don't think this is the type of thing that she's going to get over quickly.

I get that she's not as outgoing as her cousins, and that they just had a familial relationship instead of being outright friends, but I thought that she at least loved her cousins as family. She and I are both crushed to find out that we were wrong in that assumption. I'm at a loss here. First of all, I'm not sure what I can say or do to ever repair the relationship between my daughter and her cousins. I'm not even sure I want to try.

Secondly, I'm not sure how I can ever be in the same room with my sister's kids knowing that this has happened. This feels like an enormous rip in our relationship that I'm not sure how to bridge. My sister left a couple of tearful voicemails, and I do truly believe that she feels remorse. But I haven't heard a thing from any of the others in her family. If you were in my situation, what would you do to repair the relationship? And then down in the comments, someone posts, scandalous. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this was posted in R-slashamay the butthole by the opposing

party. And then they provide the link. Opie replies, well that's just great. I guess my hunch about my brother-in-law was right. Not only did he condone it, but he found it hilarious enough to share it with strangers because he didn't think that he was a butthole for it. I don't even know what to say. I need time to process this. This is very interesting OP because your brother-in-law gave a very different rendition of it. Your brother-in-law made it seem like your sister was constantly forcing those two cousins

to hang out together. But from your story, it sounds like they hung out maybe once a month at most. Your brother-in-law's version of the story made your niece's behavior sound slightly more acceptable, because he made it sound like your sister was constantly forcing her to do stuff that she didn't want to do. Also, your niece only shared this information with her own family, so I didn't think that it was that bad because she wasn't actively bullying your daughter. But now that this video made its way to your daughter, that changes everything.

Your sister's family has gone from like one or two buttholes on the buttholes scale to a full four out of five buttholes. First of all, OP, to address your problem, I would say start talking with your sister. After all, it's clear that you really love your sister and it wasn't your sister who did this, it was your sister's daughter. So don't let your relationship with your sister be ruined

just because of a stupid teenage prank. Yes, what your niece did was very mean. Both of your niece is actually the one who made the video and the one who shared it with you. And they both definitely deserve to be punished, and they owe you and your daughter an apology. That being said, it did seem like just stupid teenager behavior, so I don't think that justifies cutting your sister out of your life entirely. Please open a dialogue with your sister and work this out, and hopefully you guys can find

peace together. Also, I'm starting to wonder if maybe the brother-in-law is the problem. If your version of the story is correct, then your brother-in-law definitely skewed the story to make your nieces' behavior seem more acceptable. So I wouldn't be surprised if your brother-in-law's negative attitude is rubbing off on his kids, which is where all this bullying behavior is coming from. That was our Slosh Relationship Advice, and if you like this content, then be sure to follow my podcast because I put a new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.