Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Sawbones: Christmas is Trying to Kill You

Episode Date: December 23, 2015

This week on Sawbones, Live from Huntington, WV and Candlenights 2015: CHRISTMAS IS TRYING TO KILL YOU. Grandma. Egg nog. Trees. Mistletoe. The Grinch. RUN. Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers

Saul Bones is a show about medical history and nothing the Hosey should be taken as medical advice or opinion. It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil? We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth. You are worth it! You won't do it' that's lost it out. We saw through the broken glass and had ourselves a look around. Some medicines, some medicines that escalate my cop for the mouth. Wow, his dreams are what?

All right. I'm a skeleton, my cop, for the mow. I'm three, I'm five, five. These are strings or what? All right. I'll never be blind. I'll search a shit like that. Thank you, Daddy. Too cold enough, I'm fine. Hello, everybody.

Welcome to Salabones, Marlton. I'm Aralto, a Miss Guide and Medicine. I am your co-host, Justin McElroy. I'm Sydney McElroy. Is it because you're waiting until we both introduce ourselves and then applauding for us both? How kind. That's what I'm going to tell myself.

No, no, they just like me better. Wait. Woo! Woo! Woo! Well said, it's Christmas time again, and I myself would very much like to live until Christmas. Me too, is that, were you worried about that? I wish you had told me. Sort of always him, but like candle lights especially gets me like Super worried about it because of all the days in candle nights Christmas is like the top three of the days It's in the top three for sure

But I just really want to live to it and and you think there's specific things about Christmas or candle nights or this time of year that... One is the excitement. One is the excitement. I don't know how... But you're just gonna keel over from the excitement? Yeah, a lot of bad movies have led me to believe that getting excited is the leading cause of heart attacks or if the movie was made in the 50s,

if your daughter enters into an interracial couple that seems to be a big one But those are the two leading causes of hearted sex I'm assuming number two in the 50s is like smoking all the time forever They constantly give you the third the other two just no comment, but that went yeah, I mean that sure But I guess I'm not really that in any more danger at Christmas time than I am at any other time. Well, I don't know that that's exactly true. I mean, there are definitely things that I think I was like,

this time of year, like staples of the season that maybe you wanna stay away from, that maybe they might pose a little extra threat. Sitting or are you saying Christmas is trying to kill me? I'm not saying it's trying to. I'm saying it might inadvertently kill you. Give me an example because I'm super stressed now. Well like, um, mistletoe.

Okay. For example. No one actually has that or knows where to get it. But we all know that you can't understand this. That's what I know about mistletoe. Has anyone ever seen mistletoe for sale? Come on. How me out, I'm trying to do a thing. Did you bring it?

Are you trying to get lucky? You have it? I love it. You have to scatter it around the room. Hey. It's cute. Do you see what's up there? Missile Toe.

It's 30 years old, because no one sold it for three decades. But all the kisses aren't used up. Do you know anything about mistletoe? Like, why do we get on the show? I literally just gave you everything. OK. So mistletoe, romantically enough, is a parasitic species. It's actually a collection of different plants that we kind of call mistletoe. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. They're like parasites. Got it. So you can see how they were so well connected to love and romance. Love, yeah, it makes perfect sense. They're really important for ecosystems,

so don't get rid of all of them. Unless I need my ecological message for the day. Don't get rid of all the mistletoe. Everybody is trying to. Do you mean burn them? Don't say, oh, Mrs. oh, I miss it. Oh get it Maybe colony collapse. I heard about that You hung it up at your holiday party and nobody kissed you and at the end you were like Now we need it. I think twice before you put it in the garbage disposal

The use of mistletoe though as medicine because it has been used as, dates back to the time of the druids. The poison? What? Wait, is it poisonous? Well, how did you know that? Well, I know lots of things about it. I know you can't buy it, because it's poison. No, well, okay, we'll get to that.

Let's talk about why it was medicine first. Got it. So it was noted by the druids that it would grow even in the dead of winter. So even when everything else was dead and there was frost everywhere, you would see mistletoe growing. And so it was thought to be something connected to like vitality and maybe fertility. And so maybe it was a good idea to eat it. Do you think it's how we got to take it in some way so that you could have more kids.

You think it's how we got the eul-tie connection? Because it was like, it grew really well in cold times. Well, yeah, I think that makes sense. Crushed it. Yeah. Not just a harrack, folks. They also give it to animals, like you make your animals have more animal babies, more animal kids.

The Greeks also thought that it was a good medicine. Hypocrites recommended using it for a lot of different things from problems with your spleen, which you know when you have them, right? You know when you're spleen-sacting out. Everybody does. To menstrual cramps, which are so much harder to figure out, and spleen problems. I would know what I'm having a spleen issue. Well, I mean, you wouldn't, but.

Oh, OK, got it. They used to blame a lot of stuff on their spleens. OK. They used to be a common thing. Like, oh, it's just your spleen actin' up. That's why you're so corouty. Eat some mistletoe. Eat some mistletoe, that'll help. They're fine. You know who else was a big proponent of mistletoe? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Every time Plenty of the Elder gets cheers when we say his name, it makes me happy. Yeah. I was like, this dude from back in history, like somewhere, I mean, he's dead, but somewhere in his grave, we're all cheering for him and it's like, yes. I did it. I'm flipped on.

I got on a podcast. It's just me. Also, what's a podcast? I told my dad, I'm getting on a podcast and he was like, what's that? Plenty. Plenty, the... I, Plenty, the Elder Elder, in'm getting on a podcast. He was like, what's that, Blenny? Blenny, the, I, Blenny, the elder elder, and wondering what a podcast is. And playing the elder was like,

I don't know if full, but I'm gonna get on there. And I'm gonna make it legal to dance here, wherever we are at. Greece? Rome. Where was it illegal to dance? Footloose. Footloose, that's right.

That's right, I got footloose in Greece. What's that? Because they both have kind of a... Can I have footloose to Greece now as fast as you can? You've got six moves. Uh... Did they both have a character named Danny Zuko? I guess they're saying.

So, plenty thought that it was good for epilepsy for ulcers and also to treat poisoning, which is really strange, as we'll cover soon. But he also wrote, the reason that we think the druids used it for medicine, as I mentioned earlier, the reason I think that, is because of what Plenty wrote about it. So he wrote this big description of the way it was used in what was called the Druid's

ritual of oak and mistletoe. And this is actually where a lot of people kind of get their perceptions of what Druids were like, like with trees and everything. Because he wrote this big description of this ritual where on the sixth day of the moon, you hail in the moon and and that means they have a word that means healing all things and you prepare a ritual sacrifice and you have a tree with mistletoe and then you're gonna kill two white bulls and then you're gonna kill some bulls and then

you're gonna take the mistletoe and you boil it and you drink this drink and then everybody's gonna get pregnant and it's a great ritual. I'm assuming you have to do something else after that. You're gonna kill the bowls, you drink the mistletoe drink and we won't talk about the next part. This is a family show but then there are babies. Okay, got it. But that's probably where we and that's the only place that this like ritual is really well described and that's probably where we, and that's the only place that this ritual is really well described. And that's probably where we all get that weird perception

of like the druids, like all like trees, kyl bulls, you know, chanting. Stonehenge. This is the, well the druids Stonehenge. I don't think so. Okay. Maybe? I don't know.

Hey, well the druids Stonehenge. Yeah. All right. Cool. Let's get thumbs up back there. The druid stonehenge. But I think that's where that perception is from Plenty. No. And as we all know, Plenty only sort of knew

what he was ever talking about. Ever. Like, yeah, at best, he was 20% accurate. In the middle ages, it was sort of used as a medicine in the sense that you would hang it from your ceiling to ward off evil spirits. So that's medicinal. Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll grant you that.

Sure, what was it? You could hang it around your door to scare off witches. Or vampire, like the garlic with vampires, that kind of thing. Didn't say vampires, witches, this is very specific. Okay, got it. Just witches. It was also thought that it would stop fire, but I'm thinking that if something's on fire and we throw a mistletoe on it

It's not gonna stop it. That's the okay. Wait. Hold on stop. Wait no stop That's when you could like once like right you try that once is like no This we we crack this one. It doesn't have with fire that fire got bigger that fire got bigger because there's things that burn in it. What are we thinking? Why did we listen to Greg? It's used as something for kissing purposes. Probably actually dates back to its connection to the Greek festival of Saturnalia,

because it was a symbol of fertility. We've already established this. So it could be used for like marriage rights and then it was also just associated with romance and love and that kind of thing. There were even like enemies could make truces over or underneath some mistletoe. So you would find mistletoe in a tree and then you could like shake hands with your enemy and then you were cool. Okay. So or kiss them, I guess. Or kiss them. Yeah. If you secretly secretly love them Oh, that's so dramatic. You secretly loved them all along and shake hands and you're like I love this. It's like the cutting edge, right? You thought they were fighting the whole time and then she was like too big and then

If that was that but then they got together at the end Yeah, it's the one movie where the two people don't really like each other at the beginning and then later on they fall in love movie where the two people don't really like each other at the beginning and then later on they fall in love. I was going to explore that trope more. What did they come up with this stuff? Holly would. So in Victorian times, you know, mistletoe had become an established tradition and the way that it works is that if you saw a woman standing underneath the mistletoe, so I guess if

you were a Victorian man, you would like hang it up everywhere like traps. You saw women standing underneath it, you were allowed to kiss her, and she can't refuse or else it's bad luck. What goes along with that is that you know there are berries on mistletoe, right? The little white berries. And what you would do is every time somebody got kissed under it, it like used up a little bit of the mistletoe, so, the little white berries. And what you would do is every time somebody got kissed under it, it used up a little bit of the mistletoe, so you'd pluck off a berry. And then once all the berries are gone, there's no more kissing power. Oh, kissing power is exhausted.

So you're done, so no more. I'm glad there's a scientific basis behind it that you have kiss fuel that you're expanding. From mistletoe berries. Now, the thing that we've already alluded to is that the sad thing about mistletoe is that it the thing that we've already alluded to is that the sad thing about mistletoe is that it is poisonous. Oh, man. Definitely poisonous. There are a couple different varieties that are poisonous. The most common has a toxin called foratoxin, which can cause,

I would say, some pretty unromantic things like drowsiness, diarrhea, blurred vision, puking, a weakness weakness and seizures, which is crazy because as I mentioned, it's been used to treat seizures for a really long time. So not well. Not a good idea. All parts of it are dangerous, not just the berries. So if you really have a hanker and to eat a mistletoe leaf,

which I don't like, they're kind of pointy. Okay, but like berries, you think that they might want to eat those? I mean, they're berries. Yeah, it's true. Berries are delicious. I can see getting hungry enough and not getting any mooches and thinking like, man, I'm going to eat you. You use this, you stupid plant.

I was going to eat you. You're not good for anything. What's crazy is this. It's a worse holiday party in my life. Now it's going to end with seizures. What have I done? Despite the fact that it is definitely poisonous, it's still kind of a staple in some like alternative medicines. You can use mistletoe injections.

You can take it as an oral preparation or there are like shots of mistletoe that you can be prescribed, especially in Europe They do this for everything from like headaches to again in fertility that theme is still there high blood pressure or arthritis for seizures again. I don't know There are even some places where it has been used for cancer Wow Effective layer no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, no, no. No, no, no. Okay, I'll cut it a little because usually we get really, we get really upset about this. I'm going to cut it a little bit of slack because there have been some studies done in labs

that show that like mistletoe really does kill cancer cells in labs. But in people, we haven't really seen such great results. So I don't know that I would be rushing off to get a misalto injection. Okay. Perfect. But we've been investigating it since the 60s. So we are really hot to use misalto as medicine. I don't know. I don't know why.

Well, we, is it expensive? I don't. I mean, I've never bought it. Because maybe they want to sell it. Like, like, like, like that. Oh, I like that bought it because maybe they want to sell it like now that oh I like that thinking the drug company the berries look like drug companies. They're always out to make a buck The berries look like the berries look like little pills too, so it's perfect But I would say that despite that my best advice and This is important good good because I'm a little confused mistletoe, because I do want to not get cancer.

Okay, but you also don't want to die for Christmas. Right, so what's the number, give me some guide rules for mistletoe. I'm gonna break it down real simple, because I know that's not just cheer wine in that, in that can, very simply. Thanks to everybody to cheer out, by the way. Don't eat mistletoe don't

everybody don't eat mistletoe okay that seems very fair to me okay that's an that's an easy-easy thing to remember because I've I've always been somebody and somebody who believes that above all. Justin, are you okay? Don't, it's a Grinch! Oh no! No, not me, Grinch. Why was I so festive? No! The Grinch stole Justin!

Oh no! He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute!

He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute! He's so cute! Oh no! He's such a mean one. Oh no. I feel like that part in Wayne's World when it's just guard, you know? Well, so usually on solbones when Justin isn't here, I have like a backup. I think I need somebody to fill in, okay? Somebody, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, Good morning, good morning, good morning. Thank you. My back up, my hands in.

You're gonna have to sit over here with a microphone. This is Riley. She's my sister. Yeah. You may remember her from such episodes of Sabons as the one where Riley was there or the other one where Riley was there. Or maybe the ones you just skipped because Justin wasn't on there.

No. No. There was this crazy thing that happened once where Justin and Riley freaky Friday and to each other's bodies. And so Riley had to help me, well Justin and Riley's body had to help me host the podcast and then Riley in Justin's body, I think you had to cover E3. I did and it was really confusing. I don't know a lot about video games or traveling or anything. I don't know how you didn't get Justin fired but I'm glad.

I almost did but then I recovered and just made a funny joke that sounded like something Justin would say. You just pretended your way through, that's true. Well, Riley, thank you. The Grinch stole Justin, so I'm assuming we'll bring him back at some point. Christmas came early for me. But we're talking about, Justin and I've been talking about things that could kill you at Christmas. And you asked me a really weird question the other day about things that could kill you at Christmas.

Could you share, and this is real. This doesn't like a bit. She really asked me this question. I'm still wondering about it. It's a real question. Do you think anyone has ever tried to poison Santa Claus with cookies? So I have some problems with this. I'm a little worried. So where are you on the Santa existence? What? Okay, I got it. Never mind. We'll move on from there. Okay, so I hope not.

I mean, I would hope so too. That'll be awful. Right. Who could ever do such a thing? But, well, some people have tried to poison others with Christmas cookies. It's such a jolly season. I know, but cookies are so delicious and nobody can resist them and so they're perfect for poisoning. I mean, I guess I get it, but it's Christmas. So let me tell you about a couple times where I don't know. I mean, let's say they weren't trying to poison

Santa with Christmas cookies, but Santa may have been like an accidental victim of these cookies. What? Had they been set out, right? It happened? Yes. Well, not Santa. Like, Santa was not killed by Christmas cookies.

You scared me. As far as I know, I mean, tell me't I don't keep up with Twitter all the time So somebody let me know during the show So last year there was a woman in New York and when you look at these by the way if you ever look at these stories because these are real stories The women who have done this look so sweet They're mug shots. They're in like Christmas sweaters. They're like these little ladies and they're like, hi, my boys and somebody with cookies.

There was an older woman in New York who mailed Christmas cookies laced with rat poisoning and laxatives. Because I love that. It's not enough just to kill somebody. You're going to poop yourself a lot before you die That's almost worse, isn't it? So like it's insult to injuries like ha ha ha

Your pooping and your dying And she mailed them to like another resident of the town she lived in, randomly. And the resident got suspicious. I don't know if they like sniff the cookies or do they have them to somebody they didn't like. I don't know what they did, but they called the police and they got the woman arrested. And seriously, you should look up this mug shock.

She looks so pleasant. Wait. But she tried to kill somebody with Christmas cookies. So she has picked a random person. She has like picked a random address out of the phone book and was like, this is what I want for Christmas this year. I want to kill someone while they're pooping their pants with Christmas cookies.

I guess she was bored. Me and Hay. It was a dare. She just had a lot of vacation time around Christmas and was like, hey, you know, it's on the bucket list. Now, week before last, this just happened. This was just in the news. Breaking news. Breaking news, week before last. There was an older woman in Germany who was caught handing

out poise and Christmas cookies just to people like out in the town square. So she lived in Berlin and she was just wandering up to people, like a really pleasant looking woman. I was like, hello, dearie. Here's a little girl. Well, only in German, I can't speak German. But hello, dearie, in German. Here's some Christmas cookies. So, snow white.

Christmas. It's sort of like snow white. There's a Christmas. Eat this apple, but it's better, it's cookies. Who could do such a thing? I know, but so she gave cookies to this couple and they got super sick and ended up in the hospital and it turned out again, rat poison.

Why is this such a common Christmas time occurrence? I don't know and why rat poison? Why rat poison? I don't know. Does anyone know? What's terrifying is she's still at large. What? Are you here? They haven't caught her yet, so I guess if you go to Berlin, be careful.

Don't take cookies from strangers. Don't take cookies from strangers? I would think that would be like common sense. I mean, I don't know, maybe not. For most people, not see like a random lady on the street and be like, hey, here's some cookies and they're like, oh my god. Thank you But do you know that weirdly do you know that they also tried to assassinate Rasputin with cookies? You know like Rasputin from like the Disney movie. I don't

That one Why be able to source your guy from the Disney movie and that what he was he was in the Disney movie and the I've never seen You don't know who Rasputin is. We'll cover that another day. Anyway, they tried to assassinate him with cookies, but it didn't work, so they shot him, or stabbed him, or something. I would think the cookies would be better.

I don't know where to go. I think there's a really practical piece of advice that I can give you. And listen very closely, and you have to pay attention because, again, that's not just your wine, don't drink that. But because you're a teenager and, you know, I know with the phones and the TV and the electronics. All those gadgets.

The gadgets, right. Don't eat cookies. Ever? I would say just don't be on the safe side, just don't eat cookies. Ever? I would say just don't be just be on the safe side just don't eat cookies. That's it. You're dating to tell me. Justin's back. No. I'm okay. He was um, he's doing massages. He feels bad about ceiling, all the ceiling, bad Christmas stuff, and he's doing massages.

What? Yeah, he's doing the spotch stuff, all the spot stuff. Sounds really creepy. I mean, to me, just told me to take cookies from strangers. Why would I take massages from strangers? Maybe a manipetti? I could go for a mani-pettie, right? Why don't you do it with Riley Spur?

Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! Thank you, Riley. Um, that, those have to be the best. That'll be the best. Those have to, so, Miss Lato, whatever you just talked about.

Right, cookies. Oh, cookies. Oh, man. Did you eat anything cookies or is it just all? Oh, no, no, I told them, I told Riley not to. I told everybody not to. Perfect, okay, good. That's ever again, because I don't care if I'm not too.

As long as I didn't miss any eating of cookies. But those are the two things to have to worry about. Of course it's right. No, not the, probably not the only two things. What about Holly? Oh, no. No, no, no. You got to watch out for Holly.

Because you probably have heard this too, Holly is poisonous as well. If you eat a couple, Barry. Christmas, how's it going? Seems bad. A lot of poisonous things. It seems like. If you eat one or two berries, you're probably gonna be okay.

Like, I don't know why you wanna do this. Like, I heard I would be okay if I ate these two. I don't think they're delicious. You're trying to build up a tolerance? Like, I okay in powder. Let me try it. By next Christmas, I'm gonna be building three holly berries. God is my witness.

But if you eat like 20, you'll die, so don't do that. Okay, got it. So, somewhere between two and 20 is the number, don't try it. It has something called theobromine which is actually really structurally similar to caffeine and there's a lot of it in chocolate not enough to hurt us but that's why dogs can't eat chocolate. Oh. Figured this puzzle out while I was solving the poly problem.

I'm sorry, I just was excited about it. What about, no, that's good. What about point settais? Everybody loves those and those were to buy them. And point settais, I think I can kind of sound like point setta. Is it point settais? Point settais, they sound like point settais. They're point settais.

Point setta? Okay. Settaia. I think they kind of sound like points in either way. And everybody, I think, knows like, don't eat points at us. They're actually not as bad for you. So if you want to eat a point setta, and then you, like, let's say you have something

you want to get out of, so you want to be sick, but not really sick, you could eat some points at us. Because it'll just make you kind of like, oh, my tummy, but it like... Sorry, one more time? Oh, my tummy. Okay. That's really cute, so I just want to see it get... Okay okay that's kind of like how you and your brothers are all the time

you're kind of always like oh my tummy okay well what about what about Christmas tree certainly they're okay right um if you want to eat a pint or a tan and bomb if you want to eat a pine tree you'll probably be OK in terms of like talking. You know me so well. But like a lot of people, I do. I do want to do that. A lot of people don't eat pine trees.

I don't know what they're missing. If the secret is you got to cook them low and slow. If you try to rush into that bad boy, you're going to be tough as nails. You got to cook a low and slow. It's 12 hours saute, little rosemary, little bark, extra bark. It's more of a mechanical problem because the little needles are like lodging your GI track, like different places, and that's bad.

Like you don't want that. Do you know Travis actually got a Christmas tree needle stuck in his foot once and got infected to get surgery? Ask him about it later. Is he okay? No. Oh.

Uh. Okay. I got one. So we'll be closing the show tonight. Yeah, good night. Thank you for coming. This is the lock, Agnog. Agnog.

Hey, real quick, carry a show of hands. If you're down with Agnog, raise your hand. I'm gonna carry it where we stand. Okay, put them down. Not down with Agnog, Agnog. Hey, real quick, carry show hands. If you're down with Agnog, raise your hand. I'm gonna carry show where we stand. Okay, put them down, not down with Agnog, raise your hand. It's literally like 50, 50, right? It's crazy, okay. Sorry, you're like, ow, there, right? We made it our own.

I like Agnog. You're in jail, we made our own, it was great. Anywho. And we made our own and we made it without like, cooking anything. We just made like the raw eggs. That's how we do, right or die. We don't care.

Blended in my hand. I know a doctor. Sorry. So the reason that everybody's worried about eggnog is because like raw eggs, salmonella, right? Like when I did a, we did a whole show on that. I'm not going to try my salmonella like this. Look it up.

It's probably, it's probably okay. Most of the time if the eggs were pasteurized. You're probably still pretty cool. There is a risk. It's like something like 400,000 eggs a year in the US do have salmonella in them. So I don't know, take your chances. Maybe. I think this is kind of cool. At Rockefeller University, there is a bacterial pathogenesis

and immunology lab where they have been for like 50 years, every year around this time, well, earlier in December, they make a batch of eggnog and then out of raw eggs, and then they keep it in the cold room, like not in the fridge in the cold room, until Christmas and then they all drink it, and nobody gets sick. And they don't really.

Tradition, I guess this is how like, bacteriologists have fun. Until Christmas and then they all drink it and nobody gets sick. And a really good tradition. I guess this is how like bacteriaologists have fun. We knew it was safe and we proved it. Take that. Don't they have like science for that? Can they just do some science? It may be because the batch they make is like 14% alcohol, which is a little higher than most of like your store-bought

egg-nogs or like what you're probably making. Not quite cheer-wind levels, but I mean this cheer-wind. Yeah, no really. But generally, the booze won't kill the bacteria, so don't rely on that. I mean do add it, but don't rely on that. Sydney, can I say something? Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. What about chestnuts? Yeah, you want to be really careful about that. OK. The main reason is, I mean, chestnuts are fine.

If you get the, like, the eating ones, the sweet chestnuts, the American chestnuts. If you accidentally get horse chestnuts, those are definitely poisonous and will make you puke a lot. Cool. So don't eat that. And you should be able to tell, because the chestnuts you can eat are encased in this super sharp like needle sharp shell of

little spiny green things and if you pick it up it hurts really badly so if it's that eat it. Cool job nature you did it again. We have a ton of those in our backyard. Grandma and Grandpa? you might want to be careful. What? About grandma and grandpa. Um, because this was actually, I found this on a list of like dangers around the holiday season. Watch out for these things.

Watch out for grandma and grandpa. They might have medicine in their purse. And your kids might get into it. Like, don't-tops. You think they're so cuddly and snuggly, a grimoan grandpa, and then- They're walking dangers with fake teeth. They're waiting to give your kids drugs.

If I have to worry about everybody's going to give our baby drugs, I'm never going to do anything else. What about my free time, you know? So is there anything, is there anything you can trust? I mean, like just the, you know, the joy and the peace of the holiday season, brotherly love and family togetherness. Beer. Okay, great. I didn't research beer so I'm just going to stick with it's fine. That's going to do it for us.

Thank you so much for coming out to Canaanites. We got a lot more, so make sure you stick around. Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming. You're also super cool. And thank you for this installment. If you've not listened before, you for coming. You're also super cool. And thank you for us to solve this. If you're not listening before, you can go to sawbunchshow.com and listen to more. But anyway, thank you for the thank you to the Grinch for stealing. Thanks to the Grinch. So that Riley could come out. Thanks to Riley Smirl. And for Sydney. So until

the next time we talk to you for perfectly safe beer, my name is Justin McRoy. And Sydney McRoy. And as always, don't drill a hole in your head. Woo! Woo! Woo! Alright! Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Artistone

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