Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Sawbones: Crystal Healing
Episode Date: February 11, 2016This week on Sawbones, Justin and Sydnee really "rock out" with an episode all about the healing power of crystals. Get it? Rock out? Man, that's one great joke. Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Saubones is a show about medical history, and nothing the hosts say should be taken as medical advice or opinion.
It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil?
We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth.
You're worth it.
that weird growth. You're worth it.
Alright, time is about to books!
One, two, one, two, three, four! We came across a pharmacy with a toy and that's lost it out.
We pushed on through the broken glass and had ourselves a look around.
Some medicines, some medicines, the escalant macaque for the mouth
Hello
Hello everybody oh welcome to song bones
Miss kind of miss and I am your career who's just macaroid?
I'm Sydney macaroid. Are you just in there? You haven't done? Okay. Yes. Okay. I'm done
Sorry, you were kind of all over the place yes, okay, I'm done. Sorry.
You were kind of all over the place there.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I should have, I was just finishing up,
watching some ASMR videos as I do before I record.
Just to give myself like super duper centered
and ready to make the best show possible.
Okay, so you were watching that
as you were doing the intro to our show.
No, I mean, usually at time the video out better.
So like as the final moment of the video plays
and the mile like ASMR, tingles are in full effect.
Uh-huh, your tingles.
Your tingles.
As I'm hitting her heart.
Your tingle factor is a highest.
The tingle factor is a 10.
A 10?
Is that was, is it a tingle factor on a scale of one to 10?
It is actually that was, that was regulated by the UN recently.
So, yeah, it's a tingle.
I have found, by the way, as I'm speaking about ASMR viewers, quick start bar, bringing
it up on another podcast.
A lot of people don't know what that means and then they ask you what that means or if
it's a real thing.
Well, to, to be honest, I didn't know what it meant
until you started talking to me about it.
It's a thing, it's hard to describe,
but if you've ever felt like,
people get it from different things,
some people get from sounds,
some people get from personal attention.
You get it from when I practiced examining you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
personal attention works for some people. Yeah, it's weird.
It's like a, it's a really hard thing to describe,
but Google ASMR and you'll find out.
That's actually, to this day,
that's the trade-off that Justin and I have.
If I'm really stressed out and I like the thing for me
is I want my back rubbed.
Because I think that's a pretty standard thing to say.
Like, oh, you rub my shoulders, you rub my back.
Like, I'm so stressed.
And the tradeoff is just and says,
well, will you give me an examination?
My, so if you're not,
do you understand conceptually,
but do you not have a thing?
Like, have you not experienced?
I think I know what you mean.
I think I've had moments of it
when I've had my hair done before. Hair done, yeah. I think I've had moments of it when I've had my hair done before.
Hair done, yeah.
I think I've had, I mean not even all the time though.
I don't think I've experienced it a lot.
I don't think I've ever clued into anything
that does it regularly.
The best one, like the original one for a lot of people
is there's a 3D audio or a holophonic audio.
Some people call it.
Most ASMRs recorded in 3D sound
because it gives you like that you or their immersion.
Is that a holophonic haircut video
that is like very old that I heard at Disney World,
originally, weirdly enough.
Anyway, this is like, we have gotten off the rails before
but this is like whoa, whoa, any edge,
let's get this mine cart back.
Well, tell me what your ASMR video was about Justin.
Well, I said my new thing, I used to do a lot of like candor view videos.
I watch medical exams sometimes like cranial, cranial exam, cranial nervous exams.
Okay, all right that was that was almost getting weird but I guess if it's cranial nerve
exams I'll allow it.
Yeah not like not like but exams anyway.
Right not not the the clinical but exam that we do. Oh, wow. Yeah, not like butt exams, anyway.
Right, not the clinical butt exam that we do.
I'm here.
I was like, I'm sure.
I'm here.
I was like, I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I crystal therapy. I like crystal therapy videos.
I found some pretty good ones that are like an hour long
and just like lose yourself.
In crystal therapy, it's just people moving stones
around on people and people spring, spray,
and move energy around.
It's like ASMR magic.
So for everybody listening along,
you thought we were gonna zig and we zagged there
You thought we're gonna talk about ASMR. Well from your lips to Sydney's ears man
If we get that video that going I can guarantee you there is no medical history
No, but we will talk about crystal healing since Justin you you've watched a lot of videos
You could probably describe it better than I could but I bet you don't know much else about it.
No, I mean, I've described the sort of extent
of my knowledge of it.
Well, I haven't seen it.
I've just read about it and watched.
Sure.
I tried to show you a clip and you got,
I think you got a little angry.
It's hard.
It's hard when, I'll go ahead and say this now.
So if you notice in crystal healing,
and this is not just true for that,
you'll hear this for a lot of
what I would call like pseudoscientific kind of
healing therapies, people are so certain.
They say like you just spritz this,
what was that like water or energy juice
or whatever she was spritzing?
It was obviously not water
because it was in a dexterous bottle. This woman was spritzing. It was obviously not water because it was in a decker bottle.
This woman was spritzing this stuff
in a direction down this woman's legs,
this little spray bottle of what,
I don't know, scented water or something.
And she was talking about how this definitely does,
like in medicine,
energy clearing spray.
And she don't like plate dum,
it's in an energy clearing spray.
But like, you probably have a new office.
No, no, we have hand sanitizer.
Medicine is never, it's like, it's never that black and white. No, no, we have hand sanitizer. Medicine is never, it's like,
it's never that black and white.
Oh, well, almost never.
I should say it's very rarely that black and white.
Like, we don't say like, oh, you have high blood pressure.
Here's your high blood pressure pill.
That always works every time at that dose,
done, walk out of my office.
I don't need to see you anymore.
Like, it never works that way.
Everybody's different and it's always more complicated. But not people who are practitioners of things like crystal therapy
sometimes. Exactly. So let's talk about crystal therapy. Okay. We've wasted enough time. Yeah.
I want to thank several people who suggested this Miriam Taylor and Jillian. Thank you so much for
the suggestion. I think many others actually have tweeted about this because we kind of have mentioned this like as a sidebar in several episodes.
Yes. Reportedly crystal healing like if you this is really hard to look up actual information
about because there are a lot of people who are trying to sell you rocks and they all have websites
about this and they all have managed
to what is the thing called when you're good at using Google SEO yeah they all have done
that better than any historian who wants to write about the history of crystal therapy
because when you start reading about it from any of these websites it's like this ancient
therapy dates back to the dawn of man.
Well, no. I mean, I think it's fair to say that a lot of ancient cultures, there's examples the Greeks, the Romans, the Egyptians, the ancient Chinese cultures, the Native Americans,
all like valued precious gemstones, you know, believe that certain ones had different powers
or connections with like, you know, either magical powers or spirituality.
That kind of thing. Even as far back as perhaps sonic and dr. Robotnik in the pursuit of the chaos
emeralds is another example of an ancient culture. When at what time period is sonic set in?
Like when we're hedgehogs that that it's when that green that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,. Let's assume it's a future time on Earth. Okay, so we're not there.
Yeah, qualifying timeline where humans have become giant egg men
and hedgehogs have become blue and fast.
Conflying at you at full speed.
I don't know where, that's terrifying.
People give Dr. Robotnik a bad rap,
but if a hedgehog was on two legs and starts spinning around
and just like flying at you, you'd probably panic too.
You try to knock its rings out of its hands as well.
I would. Well, I would probably hide.
Yeah, for sure. Either way, either way.
So the general idea that you'll hear pitched is that we've always understood since the dawn of man and woman, by the way but sure man.
That we've always understood that crystals act as like a conduit, crystals and gems as
a conduit for energy, basically allowing the good energy in and the bad energy out.
And we have found like as old as like some Q&A form tablets that detail like there are
certain stones that you might wear like amulets know, are talismans that were good for like inducing love in someone or even hate or fertility or
things like that.
I would still say this is a bit of a far cry from medical uses, but the idea that these
stones have power.
Again, and this is hard for me to verify.
There are mentions of this multiple places, but I don't know,
I don't know if this is all just hearsay from people who want to sell you rocks or not.
But hey said hey come no clothes. Probably. Probably. But perhaps I think that this is, we can
fantasize perhaps that the Egyptians use things like topaz and Peridot for night tears or to ward off evil spirits.
So I think that that's in the realm of possibility.
There was also one Pharaoh in particular who supposedly wore a Jasper dragon, a stone,
a Jasper dragon over his stomach because it helped with his digestion.
That sounds like a weird thing that royalty might do.
So sure.
Jasper dragon was also my favorite in 1970s stunt man.
He took a lot of risks and he died way too young but God while he burned here on earth
He burned so bright. I thought he was one of the American gladiators
Jasper dragon lasers Archina was this Jasper dragon
They would also bury their loved ones with quartz which I think is is probably true to guide them to the afterlife
There's also a lot written about their love for lapis lazuli with quartz, which I think is probably true, to guide them to the afterlife.
There's also a lot written about their love
for Lapisse LaZouli.
From Minecraft.
That is the only, like, this is my reference point for that.
It's in Minecraft, and now I feel like I'm seeing it
everywhere.
It's so hot right now, Lapisse LaZouli.
It's blue, right?
Yeah.
That's all I know about it.
And maybe the Egyptians like to use it.
The Greeks use some stones in their healing
or maybe just like spiritual centeredness
kind of like pursuit.
They would use amethyst to ward off drunkenness.
Mm-hmm.
And then they could also, the warriors
would rub themselves in hematite to make themselves
invincible in battle.
Okay.
Which I don't think worked.
I would also say that if you want to ward off drunkenness,
I have a better idea than wearing amethyst.
Just don't drink as much.
They don't drink.
Yeah.
That'll make them invincible and battle thing is weird
because it seems like that'd be pretty easy to test,
pretty quick to put that experiment to bad, huh?
But as we have learned through this show, just because something
doesn't work, doesn't mean it doesn't work.
Exactly.
Doesn't mean people stop believing in it.
They stick with it anyway.
There are a lot of, we see a lot of examples specifically from
ancient Chinese culture, but a lot of different cultures value
Jade for stuff.
Some maybe specifically kidneys, but just in general, Jade was
thought to be healing and lucky and protective.
It's also mentioned a lot of different places, again on these websites that are like all about the
value of Crystal Therapy that
crystals were used and this is one quote like electricity in the lost city of Atlantis.
So I don't know if that means like for like used
in some sort of electric capacity or just like that
common that crystals were everywhere.
And also, how do you know?
Yeah, I don't wanna like step on your history here, Sid,
but like, am I allowed to say how crystals are used
like in the Infinity Gauntlet
like if we're just gonna be making crap up
about crystals.
I think that's fine.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, like, there were a lot of mentions of Atlantis as if we know things about
Atlantis.
Sure, right.
So if you see that on a website, I would have some questions about it.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
There were also use like electricity and gilder, so.
Mm.
Oh, and for the Princess bride. There you go. Okay. Plenty had lots to say about rocks.
Match. Plenty of the other. Of course, my dear head. One of our favorite, one of our favorite
special guests on saw bones. Plenty wrote about all the different rocks, both precious and not
precious. And he wrote like just kind of accounts of them,
this is what this looks like,
here's where you might find it,
this is what we use it for, like in building and things like that.
Not necessarily prescribing them, right?
Well, but he also wrote what therapeutic
benefits some of these stones had.
So for instance, he would say like,
you could take a crystal, which I think he means,
he might mean quartz, it's unclear, but because a lot of these,
we've had to kind of infer like what he meant by certain,
you know, they were like ancient names for rocks.
So we think we know what he meant.
So I think quartz that you could heat it up in the sun
and hold it against bleeding to cauterize something.
I mean, anything would probably work.
Yeah, right.
Amber was thought to be good to,
like you could put an Amber Amulet around an infant's neck.
To make like a sweet looking baby.
No, just to make it like safe and healthy.
But like the Amber Teething rings are like a,
remember, you know, like they're a thing now.
I wonder if this is where that, let's hope so.
Came from, because Plenty probably just like said that.
Yeah, he says, my, my man Plenty said a whole lot of things.
You can wear it around your neck to prevent like delirium, it cures fevers, it fixes your
tonsils.
These are other things you thought about amber.
In addition to draping it on your baby, you could mix it with honey and rose oil,
and it would be good for your ears,
or if you just mix it with honey, it will cure blindness,
or if you crush it into a powder and take it,
it will settle like indigestion.
It's like a broad range of activity.
It's basically e-rocks.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
Got it.
He recommends T Tormaline.
No, actually, I should say he doesn't recommend Tormaline was apparently a common therapy in the time of Plenty
because he specifically makes note that Tormaline does not work for kidney stones and jaundice.
Plenty is very explicit about that. Like everybody says that this is true, but it's not. Hi, welcome to Mythbusters, I'm Plenty. Listen, a lot of you out there using
termiline for these two things.
And I just want to say it's Bupkiss.
My guess is that Plenty had a really bad kidney stone
and he took some termiline and of course it didn't work.
And he was really upset.
Kidney stone turret, yeah.
There was something called Adama's.
Like Adidas.
Adama's. Adama's. Adama. Okay, like like Lee Adamas. Like Adidas? Adamas?
Adamas.
Adama. Okay. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Poisoning, Delirium, Mental Illness,
they were very prized for medicinal use,
according to Plenty, this is all Plenty's writings
from his natural history.
And then he also recommended Emeralds
for just like to make you happy.
Cause they're really pretty.
Like you wrote about like they're really,
they're really lovely.
So have some Emeralds.
Emeralds are a Plenty's best friend.
Yeah, cause they look, they're really lovely. So I have some Emeralds. Emeralds are a plenty's best friend. Yeah, because they look, they're lovely.
And while there are references to different ancient cultures, like I said,
like adorning themselves with crystals and using them as,
you know, for magical kind of powers, as we move into like modern crystal
use, that's not really what we're talking about. As we're going to get into it,
like all these kinds of examples that I've
That I've gone through as we go into like what crystal healing therapy is today
You're not necessarily going to gonna hear that same kind of of
Theory of it. It's a whole new thing
And this is because throughout the Renaissance period
Crystal uses crystal use kind of fell out of favor
I mean there was a lot of study like a lot of geological study, like what are these
rocks?
And let's give them all names and let's not call everything looks like a diamond, the
same thing.
Right.
Let's give them each their own names.
And that was all very interesting.
And we understood crystals and gems and all that better.
And we cataloged them.
But their use for like medicine really started to fall out of favor until we get to like
the 1800s.
And then we see all the kind of the
weird spiritualists stuff come back and that's when you start to see the beginnings of like well
maybe these stones that we think the ancient Egyptians used maybe they did have some sort of power
and then finally we see in the the real renaissance of crystals was in the 1940s was that recent
and that's like as the new age movement started to begin,
people started trying to like dig back through books
and see like what are other weird things
that we let go of when we learned about science
and maybe we should bring back now
that we don't like science as much.
Because I'm hearing you write it sounds like
we're kind of blurring the line here between like medicine
and magic, like these things would have bit like, have bit like, it sounds like these ancient practitioners, if you
want to call them that probably wouldn't have said that this was like actually, for lack
of a better term, actually working, that there were magical energies that they could not
understand that they were scribe of the sounds more than like there's energy in the earth
that we're like channeling with these.
Exactly.
And you've got to look at that.
We're talking about people who are practicing medicine and a lot of these cultures in a time
where spiritual influences were thought to cause physical problems.
So the two were so deeply interwoven, you know, you would wear this crystal to ward off an
evil spirit because evil spirits were known to cause
pneumonia, although you wouldn't have called it pneumonia, you would have said like you, you know, you had the fever. So evil spirits caused the fever, so wear this amulet, you won't,
the evil spirits won't get you. That kind of thinking, but like as far as this is a medicine,
grind it up and eat it or whatever, and it fixes stuff, that wasn't, that wasn't as common.
And certainly this idea of like moving energies around was energies around was not the way people were using it.
Well, I want to hear more about the new usage of it, like the new age usage.
Well, Justin, I want to tell you about that, but first, why don't you follow me to the
building department?
Let's go.
The medicines, the medicines that ask you let my God for the mouth. Hello, Internet. I'm Travis McRoy. For the Mouth!
Hello Internet, I'm Travis McElroy. And I'm Teresa McElroy.
She is my wife.
And he's my husband.
And he's our pleasure to introduce to you a brand new podcast.
Schmanners!
It's extraordinary etiquette.
For ordinary occasions.
Teresa, let me ask you this.
Can you teach me how to write a thank you note?
Yes, I can.
How about tips to improve my table manners?
I'll do my best.
And will you finally explain to me the difference between casual and business casual and cocktail
and formal and black tie and all that stuff?
If anybody can't, I can.
But like, it's gonna be funny, right?
Of course, I'm going to give historical origins and how those
manners fit into our everyday lives. How could it not be funny? But also sometimes
we'll talk about like burps and farts right? Yeah we're not too. But we'll still
talk about it. Yes. Great. So come join us for our new hilarious show. No RSVP
requires. Coming to you soon every Friday on MaximumFun.org,
it's Schmanners.
Manor, Schmanners, get it.
So, new age said, I wanna hear about crystals.
So, like I said, while we understand that perhaps
crystals, gems have been at least respected or feared held in admiration for a long time,
what we think of as modern crystal healing
or crystal therapy is more of like a,
it's like a mashup of some different Asian and Asian mixes.
Yes, it's like a glee style mashup that we all enjoy
of some partially based on like the ancient
and I think modern Chinese concept ancient still in belief still in use
concept of life energy like your Chi Chi and then also the idea of like
chakras okay so you kind of mix this together
and you get what a lot of modern crystal therapy
practitioners are doing.
So let's understand what chakras are first
because I don't think we've ever discussed chakras
in great depth.
I always thought it was like energy humors.
That's actually a really good metaphor.
That's actually a really good touch down That's actually a really good touch down.
I knew I'd get one eventually.
Great job.
Great job.
Once somebody write this down,
the chakras are different points on your body
where they're like vortexes.
They're like energy vortexes.
And they're where the spiritual energy
and your physical body kind of connect.
And you have to keep them all in balance,
much like your humors, in order to maintain physical, emotional, mental well-being, until
ward off any kind of disease or illness, and then also just to be happy and feel
good. So it's both a physical and an emotional kind of healing. Each shock
response to a different color color and the way you can
affect the person is by activating these different chakras at these different
locations on your body that correspond to these different colors. Okay. There are
seven chakras and basically think of them as like a rainbow. It's like Roy G.
Bibb from the bottom up. Okay. Starting at your feet you get the red and then you
go all the way up to the head with the violet.
Which is interesting because one point I would like to make
is wasn't Indigo kind of ousted.
We got rid of Indigo, yeah.
From the rainbow.
Yeah, but I assume like,
chakra attack is not gonna keep up with.
No, because as far as I can tell,
Indigo is still a chakra.
Okay.
So what are they gonna do?
And one of the members of the rainbow, rainbow brights friends.. Well, what are they gonna do? And one of the members of the rainbow,
rainbow brights friends.
Yeah, well, what are they gonna do?
Right, like exile her.
Now you have to go live in Pittsburgh.
I don't know if you know here.
That's what we did to Pluto.
I guess, yeah.
I mean, Pluto and Indigo.
We didn't blow Pluto up though.
I guess it's all there.
How do you know?
Do you have any proof that Pluto is still there?
Right now in front of you.
Do you have any proof that Pluto is still there? No, I front of you. Do you have any proof that Pluto is still there?
No, I don't either.
I don't either.
And to go from now on, your name is Debbie.
And you're out.
And you're out.
And you're out.
Go to Pluto, go to the next page.
Go to exile island.
So you can have crystals from these different colors.
I mean, that's kind of where this all connects.
So you would want a crystal that corresponds
to the color of that chakra to put on that chakra place.
The crystal's color literally corresponding?
Yes, because there are gyms and crystals
in all different colors.
And so you would want to find one of the same color,
and you could either put it on your body in that place,
or you could also just use these at home,
like you could wear one or sleep with one under your pillow,
that kind of thing as well, to help balance the energy. Sometimes the stones themselves are balancing the energy. And then other times
it's like the practitioner that you go to who does the the crystal healing is like using
their energy, their life energy, and the the stone is just a conduit for it. So it empowers
that so it makes you go to a practitioner basically, because
the stone itself isn't going to do enough. You need the healing energy from the person
who's good.
He'll for the practitioner.
Yeah, really. And if you were to go to one of these visits, you would like sit down with
the practitioner and they would ask you about like how you feel, just like a doctor's
visit, you know, where they are like, what are your complaints today? What hurt?
What shockers need to be picked up?
Well, you don't get to decide that.
You come and say like, I have a headache or my throat is sore.
I listen, I'm paying.
I'll decide how my shockers get, worked over.
And they'll tell you what shockers are out of order.
And then basically they'll lay you down and like put rocks on you for like five to ten
minutes in different patterns.
So let me give you some examples to kind of draw this together.
So like I said, there's a chakra for every color, for the colors of the rainbow, and the
corresponding different places on your body.
So starting to the top, the crown chakra at the top of your head is violet.
And so an example, if you have a headache, you could put an amethyst on your head.
Just like.
You leave it there for five to ten minutes.
Hang.
Then you're good.
I good.
I guess.
You would know pretty quickly if that worked or not.
Indigo, which like I said, I'd questionable.
I have an issue with this at this point, but we'll allow it since we're talking about
chakras and crystal therapy anyway.
The brow chakra, and it would be good for ear and eye issues.
I mean, just think about location.
Got it.
You know, it's good for that kind of stuff.
And there's a specific crystal called soda light that you could use at that point.
The throat chakra is the next one.
It's blue.
And that would, that's, that can cause problems if that's out of balance, like obvious
ones, like a sore throat,
but also if you're lying all the time,
your throat chakra may be out of balance.
Yeah.
So if you tell a lot of lies,
then we could just put some as your right
on your throat and play some soft music.
And that'll fix that.
Okay, yeah.
And that'll fix that up.
That's all we need to do. The irony of that
someone starting someone money to do that is pretty pretty profound.
Green is the next one. It's the heart chakra. My favorite symptom because they're a lot I mean
heart and lung complaints of course, but my favorite symptom of your green chakra being out of balance is that you don't enjoy hugs.
Excellent.
So if you find yourself no longer enjoying hugs.
And hey, we've all been there.
Actually, I've never been there.
I do not understand.
No, I would recommend that if you think you don't enjoy hugs, you need to come on down
to West Virginia and visit Justin and get a hug from Justin.
Because let me tell you, if you can't enjoy a hug from Justin, then your heart chakra is probably
out of whack.
Basically, that's what you can say about me sweetheart.
Thank you.
Well, it's true.
Courts will help with this, by the way, if not Justin.
The next one is yellow, it's your solar plexus chakra.
It's responsible for all kinds of problems.
This seems like a really important one.
Digestive problems, immune system problems, allergies.
I once saw a lady at a,
we used to have these days called mini teen institutes
where like teens would come to a certain place
and like just learn about not drunk driving
and make bracelets and stuff.
I really don't remember that much.
That's a wide range of activities. Learn about not drunk driving and make bracelets and stuff. I really don't remember that much. That's a wide range of activities.
Learn about not drunk driving and make a bracelet.
Yeah, it's like one of the few non-religious camps
that I went to growing up.
Does the bracelet say don't drive drunk?
Because that would be useful, like a little reminder bracelet.
But this woman told us about the solar plexus and she,
she had two film canisters and then she had a kid come up and extend their
right arm and hold one of the film canisters in front of their solar plexus and then she
tried to push down on their arm right and then they held the other film canister up to
their solar plexus and then she tried to push down their honor on and the first time she did it easily and the second time she couldn't do it. And when she opened the first film
gangster up when she pushed it out easily, it was empty. And when she when she opened up the
second one, it was full of raisins because that's like healthy raisins make you strong raisins make you strong in your solar black so the energy from the raisins is like
Working it
See I think that she was way off because raisins aren't the right color
If it was full of citrally and she would have been right. Yeah, maybe yeah, I don't know
I should have brought that up with her. Do you eat raisins me?
I don't know. I should have brought that up with her. Do you eat raisins?
Me?
Mm-hmm.
After this demonstration, did it leave an impact on you?
You're pretty susceptible to advertising.
This seems like the kind of...
Elisabeth.
The kind of commercial that would have sold you on raisins forever.
We heard.
I love you and I appreciate how well you believe you know me.
But if you think that there's any form of advertising that can get me to eat fruit consistently,
you have got terribly right.
If that, if that film canister had been full of fruit loops, however,
if there's a vegetables commercial that will make me eat vegetables,
please just YouTube it to me.
Because yet for, for Charlie, sake and mine, please YouTube it to just.
All right.
Don't you have other things to talk about?
All right.
We got a couple more chakras to get there for.
So there's the orange chakra.
That's the sacral chakra.
If you have a problem with it, you'll know
because you'll be afraid of sex,
and you just need an opal, and you'll be fine.
Oh, sort of out.
And then finally, there's the red base chakra,
which can cause fatigue and feed problems in low back pain.
And you just need some Jasper.
I hear a lot of patients complain about fatigue
and low back pain.
I cannot imagine their reaction
if I handed them a red rock.
There you go.
This will be fine.
I don't think they'd come back to see me.
No, I think that'd be about it.
For your therapeutic relationship.
There is a special shape of crystal
that I kept coming across that I wanted to read about.
It's called the Vogel Crystal.
The Vogel Cut.
Perhaps you may have heard of, Justin.
That does not sound familiar to me now.
It's named for Marcel Vogel.
This cat is pretty interesting.
And if he did more in medicine,
I would devote a whole episode to him,
but he really didn't, but I really wanna tell you about him.
He worked for IBM for like 27 years.
He lived until like the early 90s.
And he did a bunch of stuff with through IBM, like had a bunch of patents.
He created a company called Vogel Luminessence.
And so he made all, like he made like the magnetic coatings for hard drives or something
like that, but he also made like
black light posters like the stuff that glows in black light posters and like something that would
track rodent and insect pee, something that was fluorescent and so you could see where they'd been in
your house. So he did all kinds of stuff with that and then in his later years he got really into
like the occult and magic and crystals and amulets
and stuff like that.
And one of the things he did was cut a crystal into the exact dimensions of the great pyramid
of Giza.
So it's like 51 degrees by 51 minutes by 51 seconds.
And these crystals are supposed to be like the best crystals you can use for crystal healing.
Like you can use other ones.
But you're wasting your time.
And they're not as good as Vogelcutt crystals.
Okay.
And there's this great story about like when you read like testaments like of people who are like I only use Vogelcuts.
There's this one who's like I'm a practitioner and I was at this coffee shop and the couple next to me had a baby that was addicted to cocaine.
How did you know that? I don't know. But they had a baby that was addicted to cocaine.
And so I took out my vocal cut crystal and I held it on the baby and then the crystal exploded.
And the reason is that babies are not good conduits for the energy that is so powerful,
like the great life force that can be filtered through a vocal cut crystal. They're not.
And so either the baby had to explode or the crystal had to explode, but the crystals are also programmed
to do no harm, much like myself. And so the crystal had to explode.
I would do I would just just like my favorite medical story of all time. Oh my gosh. That I would have given anything to be in that coffee shop.
I think I read that in laughter
as the best medicine in a reader digest.
You can even do this on your pets.
I found that there are veterinarians who practice this.
And since it's hard to like get your dog
to like lay still and lay rocks on it, I think,
you could just have water in like a glass
of the color of the chakra that you're worried about.
So like, you know, if you're wearing dog hair, have water.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So like have water in a purple glass and then get that water and spritz it on the dog periodically.
Sydney, why are we not angry at these people?
Okay.
So as you may have guessed, crystal therapy has not, I mean, there aren't like huge studies
on it, but there have been some studies done that have shown it's no better than placebo like that if you use any kind of rock in any kind of place
It makes no difference
And that if you like
Suggest a head of time to people how they're supposed to feel like prep them
They're more likely to say they feel that way and if you don't tell them anything then they kind of walk out and go
I don't know how to rock on my head
Yeah, and the people who believe in it are more likely to get effect from it way. And if you don't tell them anything, then they kind of walk out and go, I don't know how to rock on my head.
And the people who believe in it
are more likely to get effect from it and all that kind of stuff.
So there's no reason to think that this,
I mean, I don't have any evidence,
let me say that this actually works.
But unlike a lot of these alternative therapies,
which will tell you like the really evil stuff
like this will cure cancer,
I'm sure there might be people out there
who say that about crystal therapy, but that was not my experience. I looked at a lot of these
a lot of these sites and yes these people are trying to sell you expensive rocks, but they usually
say this is not meant to cure disease. This is meant to help maintain like your physical and
spiritual well-being and is not a replacement for going to see your doctor when you're sick.
I saw that disclaimer a lot, and I'm not used to stumbling across that when we kind of talk about these things that are still in practice.
Now, of course, that doesn't mean there aren't bad people out there who will try to sell you rocks, you know, to cure your cancer.
I'm sure they exist, but that wasn't my experience. So I'm gonna cut these people some slack because I think that it might be nice.
Justin, I think you might enjoy going
for a session of Crystal Therapy Lane there.
Oh my friend, you have no idea
to which I would enjoy that.
Well, letting somebody talk to you about your complaints
and then put rocks on you and move energy around.
I don't.
Absolutely.
The most funs relaxing is all getting off.
Of all the stuff that,
of all the medical practices, around. I don't absolutely. I mean, no, never use this to cure or treat any kind of disease ever.
That's going to do it for us folks.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to our show.
I also want to say we have a post office box.
It's PO Box 24, 100 to West Virginia, 276, 257.06.
And sometimes people send us stuff there and we wanted to thank them. Holly sent us a great postcard. Jordan sent us a very cool old syringe.
That was very neat.
David Jean in Adam sent us a beautiful book. Scott made a scarf for Charlie that is just lovely that she adores. It is adorable.
Jeremy sent us an old, old bottle that is very neat.
And we've got it on display up there with the old syringe.
Like a old medicine?
Yeah.
Yeah, an old bottle.
No, not as like, hey, guys, films at the beach.
No, an old medicine bottle.
So thank you all for that.
That's very sweet.
I mentioned macaroyshows.com. That's where you can find other stuff that our family makes. Silly, you've got a new podcast
with your sister, Riley. That's right. It's called Still Buffering. My sister, Riley, who's
15 and I discuss teen issues that were as true for me back in the day as they are for her
now. Or can they find that if they want to listen to it?
You can find that at maximumfund.org or macaroyshows.com.
Isn't there another URL that people can check out to see still buffering?
Or it's still buffering.
Isn't there another URL that I gave you the best URL I own and you are not.
At teengoogle.com.
At teengoogle.com.
Sorry.
At teengoogle.com you can check it out. That's awful. That's you. You're right Google team Google dot com. Sorry at team Google dot com. You can check it out.
It's awful. I bet you're right. It is the best. I'm sorry. The best URL and it's on iTunes and stuff.
But anyway, it's very funny and very good and you will enjoy their new episodes about Valentine's Day. It's great.
So go listen to all those and thanks to everybody for listening to the show and help us share the show.
It's very cool of you and that's
we you know we don't take out ads or anything so that's kind of the only way we we we grow so
um thank you it's very it's very kind of you um and uh thank you to uh i'm i'm going to
butcher her name but her you use her name on twitter is books and Quills. She's a social media producer, Penguin Books, and she made a lovely video about our
same, I'm gonna say same or so, perhaps.
Made a lovely video that included a plug for our show.
So it was great.
So thank you to everybody and thank you to you for listening.
And that's gonna do for us.
And thank you to the taxpayers for our thing
of medicines.
Yes, very.
As always.
And that's gonna do it for us folks until next Wednesday.
My name is Justin McRoy.
I'm Sydney MacRoy.
And as always, don't drill a hole in your head. Alright!
Maximumfund.org
Comedy and Culture, Artist-owned
Listener-supported