Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Testicle Tanning
Episode Date: April 26, 2022Some people believe that men in the world are getting softer and masculinity is under attack. But not to worry, there’s a solution: tanning your . . . nethers. Although the idea of exposing your sof...t bits to the sun may be embarrassing, there's also, as Dr. Sydnee explains, zero evidence that it's beneficial.Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers https://taxpayers.bandcamp.com/
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Alright, talk is about books.
One, two, one, two, three, four. We came across a pharmacy with a toy and that's busted out.
We were sawed through the broken glass and had ourselves a look around.
Some medicines, some medicines that escalate my cop for the mouth.
Hello, everybody, and welcome to Saul Bones, a mayoral tour of Miscite and Medicine.
I'm your co-host, Justin McElroy.
And I'm Sydney McElroy.
What are the odds, Sid?
That I have, that I'm Sydney McElroy,
and you're Justin McElroy.
This is the first time we've ever tried recording
with our children playing in a adjacent room.
Oh, yes.
What are the odds that we get through this recording? Um, I'm not, I mean, not good. Like, I don't bet. But
if I did bet, I'd bet against us. Yeah. I would bet against
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What's up? Well, Justin, I got a treat for support. So please, maximumfund.org, for us, I joined Sydney. What's up?
Well, Justin, I got a treat for you.
Can you say, um, I'm about to open this one. I did.
Can you say that?
Good, but can I say what?
Gryppin, but because I don't normally open a soda on solbons.
Oh, okay.
And Griffin always tells me to grip it and rip it.
All right.
Okay.
Gryppin and rip it.
That's good. Yeah. Like that. Was it supposed to say during it or no like after but it's like the enthusiasm was like a little
Okay, next time well, I wasn't excited and I'm not very good at faking it
Fair enough. There was that's honesty. I love that
Justin
I have okay, we have talked about a lot of interesting health practices on the
show.
And we did one episode on exposing your perineum to sunlight for your wellness.
Yeah.
You all being?
Yes. Yeah. You well being? Yes. Yes.
And I thought, well, that was weird.
People probably, that one won't hang around.
Anybody who listened to that app thought, that was weird.
I don't know why that is a thing, okay.
And then it seemed to go away,
because as we talked about on that episode,
it was sort of like a, I don't remember
if it was Instagram or TikTok,
it was one of the social media's that's cooler than like it, it came out after the point,
like I had peaked in my youthful coolness and so it was one of the social medias that I'm not
as good at, you know. Who was your youthful coolness exactly? You didn't apparently it never
happened. I missed it. You've known me since I was 12 so apparently it never occurred,
I guess, as cool as I was going to get burnout before this social media format. Anyway,
it was really just a handful of people, but it got a lot of press because,
you know, shining your down there, sunshine, you're down there is.
Sun shining your down there as the technical term. Right. It is.
I don't want to get too far in the jargon, but sunshine, you're down there is. Sun shining you're down there as the technical term. Right. I don't want to get too far in the jargon, but it's shining you're down there.
But it's back.
Not the same though.
Not exactly the same.
It's slightly tweaked to bring it up to date for 2022 and to make it appealing to Tucker
Carlson, it is now testicle tanning.
I don't have my tanning anymore.
I don't have my button anymore.
So we're just going to have to rely on you saying testicle tanning.
Testicle tanning?
Testicle tanning.
So why are we talking about testicle tanning?
Oh, I don't sit.
Because I mean, why not, I guess.
Why not?
The reason is that Tucker Carlson, who hosts a program, Crossfire with Paul Begile.
Well, I'm hesitating to say news.
It's called Crossfire without Paul Begile.
That's the name of his show.
He talks on TV.
Yeah.
He's an editorialist.
Like Dave Barry Barry there we go
Tucker Carlson who talks on television is worried about the end of masculinity
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is a problem. Yeah, well aren't we all?
And he's doing a special documentary. I think I think it's a documentary I don't know. Series of images with talking about this problem, and he's called it the end of men.
Sounds good, doesn't it?
I will say, by the way, because I'm going to tell you why he thinks men are ending and what this
has to do with tanning your testicles. But you've gotta watch the trailer for this,
this documentary, it's wild.
It's the amount of images of like very muscular,
sweaty or wet or half dressed or fully nude
or I mean, just sort of listening male bodies or half dressed or fully nude or,
I mean, just sort of listening male bodies, like a lot of listening male bodies.
Okay, yeah, let's fetishize and ask you a little bit.
That's great.
I'm just saying, I didn't put it there.
It's more like bear.
Tucker Carlson put it there.
It's more like bear hunt with Tucker Carlson.
It's, I'm just saying what it is. It's a very, I mean, it's very, I don't know if he's
like harkening back to some sort of like, like Greek, like sort of, yeah, I want to take
care of roles and I think harkening back to the Greeks.
Anyway, so if you watch the trailer, you'll see a lot of that.
And like with a lot of, with people, I'm not going to watch this show, but people are talking
about how men are getting weaker.
Okay.
They're, they're not exercising enough, I guess.
Something like that.
Exercise seems to be a big part of it, I can tell.
That definitely that's a big part of it.
And like getting sweaty and being hunky and partial to full nudity. The thesis statement it seems as to why men are ending
is presented. And I've heard other people say this, which is bizarre, but the basic idea
is that hard times are you watching this trailer? I can see your face in the glasses.
There's a shirt that's got firing a rifle.
I don't know.
The basic thesis is that we have hard times
in human history.
And then these hard times make strong men, strong men.
Hard times build strong men.
Hard time build strong men.
And then strong men fix hard times
It's a cycle they're strong hard men hard men make hard times. No, no hard times make strong men strong men fix hard times
Then start then strong and make new hard times for next man
Well, no then then because the strong men fix hard times, they make good times.
But what do good times make?
Soft men.
Soft men.
It sounds like less, listen, as a soft man.
I really appreciate all the hard men and the good fighting they did against all the bad
people to let me get soft.
I love it.
How is it the end of it?
It feels cyclical to me?
Well, there's the soft men. And then we've got the soft men will make more hard times because
they're not strong. Okay. And then we'll go back to hard times and then we've got to get more strong men.
Which I guess Tucker Carlson is going to start with this documentary. Maybe he's bringing him back to this documentary. I would just on a side note, the idea that there was a time where we fixed all the hard times
and everyone had a...
A matter what, their skin color or gender?
Or any other characteristic...
Yeah, do you mean it?
Yeah.
...and a nation of origin, sexual orientation.
The idea that everyone had it easy at some point
and those were the good times,
I think is a little strange,
except that it's coming from Tucker Carlson,
in which case it makes total sense.
But so because of this, we're here.
We're stuck in the soft times, the hard times.
I was stuck, I'm loving it.
With the weak men, only Tucker Carlson can save us.
And if you feel like I'm picking on you men,
this is not me that I do not say this.
This Tucker Carlson is talking about the men.
Everyone else who's not man,
we don't figure into any of this of history, right?
We're not really.
We're just sort of along for the ride
with the hard and soft men.
He has lots of ideas.
And again, I think it has a lot
to do with exercising and physical fitness because like if you watch the trailer, it sort
of starts with like the the strong hard men are like they have JFK talking about like the
beginnings of the presidential physical fitness stuff, you know, calisthenics and stuff like that.
Yeah. Exactly. So like that was good. and now we're bad, is his thing.
So he brings on, he invited a guest
who is an expert in physical fitness.
That's all I know, like a fitness professional,
that is what he is.
Mm-hmm.
That is for his qualifications.
Which I mean granted, I don't have those. And his name is Andrew McGovern.
And he comes on the show to talk about
one approach to fixing this.
And I guess he also probably does like normal physical fitness stuff,
like lift a heavy thing or run, you know, the things you do.
But he's also an expert in tackling another problem,
sort of a testicle problem.
Because part of Tucker's main argument
for why men are ending is that testosterone levels
and sperm counts have been declining for a while now.
Okay.
Okay.
This is all adding up.
And this is, I think that this is when pseudoscience and fake medicine stuff gets particularly
insidious is when they include a grain of truth.
And especially when they include a true statement that I don't, I mean, like we don't have
a great answer for why right now.
Like, that's the truth.
Yes, testosterone levels historically,
testosterone levels and sperm counts appear to be declining.
Not to like an extent that we're all freaking out about it.
Like, I mean, people or sperms are still out there
and they're still making babies.
You're right.
Okay. Yes. but these are these things are decreasing and
We're not entirely sure and Tucker and Andrew are very worried about that
And like I said in terms of like why this is happening. We don't really know on a science note
I will say there is a lot of research being done in this area.
They've tried to account for all these things with,
does it have to do with certain health conditions
that maybe on the rise or decline?
Does it have to do with weight or smoking?
Or smoking actually increases testosterone?
Because there was a theory, people used to smoke a lot
and now they don't smoke as
much because smoking is so bad for you.
And so testosterone levels were higher because smoking makes it higher.
Did you know that?
No, I did.
Yeah.
This is not, please don't start smoking.
Deal.
And like environmental factors, is it plastics, or is it pollutants, you know, none of these
things has given us an answer.
None of these things, like we've been able to find an exact
causative relationship.
It's just all the great soft times.
The, we've noticed that like average grip strengths have decreased over time.
But, but then the question arises, do we need great grip strength?
I know.
I'll say part, it's a part of the equation is the equation is that are we evolving in a direction
that is more advantageous to survival in modern society?
Because we don't need to be gripping things right now.
Because we don't need to grip things as hard.
Or another thing is they have found that when men live
with people, like with roommates,
or if they're cohabitating with a partner,
that they get more like good feeling hormones that are prosocial.
And this could also lead to decreased testosterone.
They're like converting more the testosterone to other things.
But the point is like, maybe these prosocial hormones that make men get along with other people more
and less...
Punching...
...lest punchy.
Yeah.
That's punching chemicals.
Like, isn't this advantageous in many ways to society today?
Do we really need a bunch of people who are really good at punching and gripping.
I'm gonna say no, except maybe football.
They have to. There is no punching in football.
I love that line, that classic Tom Hanks line.
There's no punching in football.
In fact, there's no gripping in football.
That's not okay either.
You can't grab them, you can kind of hug them.
Grip the football.
Anyway, men are living with their spouses
longer before marriage, their delaying kids,
they're doing less manual labor on average.
In general, there are things that would account for,
like if you look at things from an anthropologic standpoint,
there are things that may account for this
and it's not necessarily something we all need
to be freaking out about.
Is it something we should be paying attention to?
Yes, of course.
When we see these sorts of changes over time, we do need to monitor them and make sure
is it something in the environment?
Is it something health-related that is going to be damaging to people,
to their health, to their happiness, to their well-being?
Obviously, you need to.
But do we need to have Tucker Carlson doing a documentary on it?
No.
Certainly not.
No, obviously not.
No, and do we need to frame it as this decline of masculinity that is dangerous to a family
structure, a social structure.
You know what I mean?
I mean, he's loaded it with a political agenda
of what a man is by Tucker Carlson's definition.
Which is all kidding aside, poisonous.
It is, it is.
It's a very, I would say it's a very dangerous perspective
to put on a science issue.
So anyway, so is it a problem?
Is it evolution? You know, why is it happening? We don't know.
But one way or another, we definitely, Andrew and Tucker can agree. We definitely think that
tanning the scrotum is part of how we solve it. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to tell you Justin how to tan your scrotum. The first.
No, no, no, let me stop you right there, Sydney. You don't need to go to the billing department
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You know, it means a lot to me, Sydney.
What's fixing this gosh darn masculine any problem?
Right. And I should say, I'm using the language of this documentary and Tucker Carlson special
in Andrew McCover and all this. They don't say it. They're talking about cis men largely is what?
This is focused on.
I should make that clear.
That is their target audience or cis men who may be concerned about their own manliness.
Yes.
Right.
So anyway,
Antibagoveran says what you need to do is expose your testicles to light.
Now,
Tannin is an option. That's where testicle Tannin took a cross and actually is the one who says that repeated. I believe Tess Coulteni. It's catchy.
A little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little
bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a
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His front butt. Okay. He's shining a red light on. You get it. Triumph Bentley. It's a very
triumphant. It's a power pose, I would say. Yeah, he is very proud of it.
And this is, some of this is, if you remember, when we did the episode on Tanya your
Pyreneum, it's a similar sort of idea that they were talking about.
A couple different things will happen.
One, red light, supposedly, or red light can.
I mean, so again, there's some science in here
and that can make it confusing.
Because then you go, well, that's true.
So it's all of it true.
The mitochondria in your cells can produce more ATP
which helps the latex cells and the testicles
produce testosterone.
Those are the cells that make testosterone.
So you make more energy for the cells.
You power up the powerhouse of the cell with the red light. It makes more
testosterone. Boom, you fixed it. You fixed the testosterone problem. There's also similar
to the perineum tanning. I'm trying not to say the other T word. It's just, anyway, similar
to that, the thought is vitamin D. Part of the problem, part of why we're
all weak and soft now is because we need vitamin D. And we have talked about, again, on the
show, vitamin D levels are low in quite a few people. And you should get that replaced if
it's low. But why the solution doesn't need to be tanning your testicles or your or your
perineum. The issues with that are, well first of all, okay, when you get light,
whether it's sunlight or infrared light, whatever, you're not penetrating your
organs. Like it doesn't go that deep. As we covered during during the
coronavirus pandemic, injecting light is not necessarily something that we have
mastered yet. No, you can't inject sunlight or any UV light or infrared light
whatever light into you. I feel like this doesn't need to be said.
But it doesn't penetrate to your internal organs.
So how would it stimulate cells in your testicles to make testosterone if it can't penetrate
your testicles?
It wouldn't.
Right.
So that doesn't, I got it.
I got it in one.
So that doesn't get it. I got it. I got it in one.
So that doesn't really make any sense.
And then again, with the vitamin D, the issue is simply, yes, exposing your skin to sunlight
will help to create active vitamin D.
Like it helps with the final enzyme, the reaction that makes vitamin D.
That is true. It happens anywhere, it doesn't need to be your genitals.
It would not like especially vitamin D power your genitals.
In much the same way that if you have like knee pain,
you don't have to crush up the ibuprofen
and rub it on your knees, you can just swallow the pill.
And it knows where to go.
Or if you have an infection in your toe
and your doctor says you need an antibiotic,
the doctor doesn't dip your toe in antibiotic.
You just take the antibiotic.
Just because it's a body and system.
Right. Got it.
So you could also like, because there are risks
of sun exposure, as we've talked about
on the show many times, you could also take a supplement
if you need vitamin D, which if it's low enough,
you should talk to your doctor about taking supplement
or you could increase vitamin D rich foods in your diet. You could ask about some foods
that you could eat, you know, if you prefer to do it that way. But there is no reason to tan your
bathing suit area. Yes. He calls this, by the way, a bromeopathic solution.
I'm ready to move on. Say it again.
Romeo, Patrick.
So I mean, you know, as opposed to...
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
I'm ready to move on.
Say it again.
Romeo, Patrick.
So I mean, you know as opposed to
It's like homeopathic
I'll never top it. I'll never say anything funnier than bromeo
Bro me a pathic
It's homeopathic but for bros you see oh, I got it baby. I'm loving it over here
You decided that they will need to know where explanation I'm fully down then.
So you can, I mean, anyway, are there any studies on tanning your testicles or exposing
your testicles in Fred like there have been studies on the idea of like red light therapy
and for red light therapy. And like there have been little on the idea of red light therapy and for red light therapy.
And there have been little small studies that have suggested, well, maybe does it do something
to tissues in turn of wound healing or like easing pain? You've seen devices like this.
There are things out there for arthritis or muscle aches, those kinds of things.
And they're not, again, they're not completely made up. There were some studies
that suggested, well, maybe something is happening, but there are areas where we could do, like,
more research that would actually tell us if something works or not. There is no definitive
thought that, yes, this red light does anything. And certainly certainly no evidence that it definitely increases testosterone
levels or sperm counts in any way.
And that's also like a wild thing to, I mean, our sperm counts decreasing to a point where
we're worried about people who desire to have children not being able to, that has not
necessarily been proven at all.
There's lots of sperms in there. Anyway, there are a lot of people who've tried this and
that's really what they rely on. Some things never change. Testimonial. Yeah, anecdotal
evidence from people who have tanned their tanned their down there. Testicle,
Monial.
No, forget it.
It's not bromeopathic.
Nothing can be.
Bromeopathy.
Bromeopathy.
Yeah.
We don't have any studies in humans.
They've done some stuff in test tubes and animals
and they have testimonials.
And they will claim that that's enough.
But this is all, this is with any Tucker Carlson
did not
invent this neither did fitness expert Andrew McGovern. This a tale is old as time.
You get some people to try it out. They think it works because placebo effect or they got better
anyway or they're nice. Talk about temptation on a placebo effect. If you just spend the afternoon
effect, if you just spend the afternoon sun handing your balls, do anything. You have massive stakes in this.
You have massive stakes that it did do something.
You need it to have done something.
Um, then obviously Tucker Carlson believes strongly in it.
It's great in the segment where he brought on this expert to talk about testicle tanning.
So he basically says,
if, who cares, I mean, about the evidence, like people say it works,
and is it any wilder than any of the other things people do?
And if nobody else knows, why don't we just all try it?
Why do we think that's so crazy?
Like that's sort of his perspective.
And then the next guest who comes on his show that day
is Kid Rock.
And he's like, don't you think Kid Rock that we should try this
and even Kid Rock who?
Yeah, don't give me started.
But even Kid Rock is like, I don't think so.
Like it's a bridge too far for Kid Rock.
You're for Kid Rock.
For Kid Rock. For Kid Rock.
For Kid Rock.
Kid Rock said no to the testicle tanning.
I think we need,
if I remember the exact quote, he said,
well Tucker, even though you might have guessed
from my image that I would be open to
all sorts of different pathways to health.
I believe that evidence-based medicine must be practiced.
And we should rely on the expert opinions of physicians and other healthcare professionals
before trying any treatments ourselves.
No, that is not at all what he said.
I think it was more just like...
Nah. I haven't ever heard just like, Nah.
I haven't ever heard anything like that.
Where they come up with next.
He basically said like,
some days I just want to get off this planet.
Great.
Hey, Kid Rock.
Hey, Kid Rock.
I just want this planet to stop and let me off.
I just want to stop this planet and let me out.
Those were his exact words.
Hey, Kid Rock.
I think some of us also agree with that exact sentiment of vis-a-vis.
I'm letting Kid Rock off the planet.
But so anyway, there it is.
And obviously everybody went wild about this because...
Well, okay.
Let's talk about this.
Let's talk about it because we have,
I don't wanna...
Tucker Carlson and people like him are not,
they're bad actors.
And I mean that in the sense that,
you are not, if you are someone who believes in science
and believes in evidence-based medicine and believes in all this stuff,
like, he knows what he's doing, folks.
This is supposed to be something that makes you mad and is something that gets propagated.
Like, yeah, this is, I mean, do think he like knows exactly how ludicrous is is probably not but
Is it part of the show?
Absolutely it is it is obviously he somebody some some one who worked on his research team found this guy
I was like yeah, this is gonna we gotta get this on
Because I mean if for nothing else,
the image of the naked guy tanning his testicles on top of the mountain.
They don't look at that and think,
oh, that's good in normal, like, it's trying to get reaction.
But, you know, the thing is, it does a lot of harm
to people who do have low testosterone
and are seeking treatment for that.
Because the thing is like- Low T as they call it in court.
Yeah, that's cool.
Just to keep you from having to admit that you have low T.
Oh, me?
No, no, low T.
But even that, see, it's another way of shaming, of tying the idea that if you're, if
the hormone testosterone in your body is lower and you're a cis man, then you are not
really. You're not a, quote, real man.
And you need to go like, you can't even say it. We can't even admit it. We can't even
talk about it openly because it's so shameful. Right. Instead of just saying, oh, your testosterone
levels are low, as if your vitamin D levels are low or your vitamin B12 levels are low.
Whatever. This thing in your body is low. Your centroid is low or you're, I mean, you're, you know, you leave with our oxen.
Anyway, the point is, it's just a, it's a medical condition.
If you're, if you're feeling, if you're concerned about it, if you're feeling tired and your
sex drive is lower than it used to be and, you know, certainly if you're having any
other issues with erections or libido, you should talk to your doctor about it.
And you, it could be testosterone, and you can go on replacement.
And that's fine.
And there's nothing embarrassing or shameful about any of that.
But it also has nothing to do with the decline of Tucker Carlson's weird toxic, alpha male,
weak man, strong man, soft world, hard world.
I don't know what it is thing that has to do with throwing around medicine balls and
being naked a lot.
I mean, if you want to be naked and throw around medicine balls, you go for it.
I have no problem with that.
But like that, it is beyond gender.
That applies to any gender that wants to be naked and throw around medicine balls.
What about the dangers King Cancer's sitting?
Well, I of course would advise that you wear, you know, your suncream on your, wear your sun tan lotion.
So wait, I want to put another protective barrier between my balls and this healing light.
Well, Justin, if okay, okay, testosterone levels and sperm counts
have only been declining in more recent decades, okay?
Okay.
Do we really think that, like, underwear or pants or shorts
or literally any covering of our genitals
were only invented in the last, let's say,
hundred years even.
No?
No, I think they had pants longer ago than that.
Right, I'm saying.
So if any of this was a problem,
is what they're doing dangerous
because they're not putting sunscreen on their balls?
Oh, well, yeah, I mean, yeah,
if you're getting, please don't burn your testicles.
I'm trying really hard not to use.
It's not a bad word. Well, it's not a bad word, but I'm trying to be the scientific one. Oh, okay. No, but like no
Obviously, you shouldn't you know you should if you're going to expose your skin to the sunlight
You need to be very careful where sunscreen and not get sunburned
Probably if you're also like most balls, they have to see much sun at all.
So it's not ready for that kind of test.
No, it's the same thing we talked about
in the Pair and E.M. Tanny episode.
That'll be a really painful sunburn.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't do this.
Don't do this.
First of all, don't listen to Tucker Carlson.
And secondly, don't listen to Kid Rock,
even though I actually do agree with him on this one thing.
I'm sure you guys have a lot of common count
if you sit a little time.
I can't, no.
Don't do this.
If you're concerned about your testosterone levels
or your sperm counts, go talk to your doctor.
Go, you know, there's nothing to be ashamed
embarrassed of and certainly this won't help you.
It, as you said, it could hurt you if you get a burn.
And at the very least, it's, it's just bad advice.
And it propagates bad ideas and bad stereotypes
that are harmful to people of all genders.
Thank you so much for listening.
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Thanks to taxpayers for you,
so there are theme song medicines,
which we played the intro and outro of our program and
thank you so much to you for listening. That's gonna do it for us so until next time my name is
Justin McRoy. I'm Sydney McRoy. And as always don't drill a hole in your head. Alright!
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