Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - The Green Children of Woolpit

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

For Halloween, Sawbones is bringing you a story rooted in folklore and mystery: two children  showed up one day in the English town of Woolpit, speaking a strange language . . .and with green skin. B...ut their curious appearance may have a logical and medical explanation, and we bring you our best guesses.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Saubones is a show about medical history, and nothing the hosts say should be taken as medical advice or opinion. It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil? We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth. You're worth it. that weird growth. You're worth it. Alright, talk is about books. One, two, one, two, three, four. Hello everybody and welcome to Sorbonne's. Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine.
Starting point is 00:01:09 I'm your co-host Justin McAroy. I'm Sydney McAroy. I'd like to note that in between Justin and McAroy, Justin has put a hat on. Yes, it is a large hat, extra large, excuse me, from a company called Title Tom. Yes, it is a large extra large excuse me from a company called Title Tom. If that gives you an idea of what kind of vibe
Starting point is 00:01:30 this hat's bringing, got it in the River Street area of Savannah, Georgia while I was enjoying a traveler from wet willies. What is that hat called? What would you call it? Is this a Panama hat? Would you say this is a Panama hat? I'm not really sure.
Starting point is 00:01:44 I don't know. I'm not really sure. I don't know. I'm not up on my haberdashery. Yes. Yeah, this is a Panama hat. Yeah, that's what you go. Call this. Justin's been wearing this a lot lately. I've been wearing it a lot lately.
Starting point is 00:01:55 I don't see people at a bar. I do my own thing. It's his own vibe. I'm entering my like, when I have sunglasses on and my mask and this, I look like, like, if John Hammond got burned by acid and had to go incognito, it's great. It's a great aesthetic. Throughout this pandemic, most of us have gone the route I did, which is I just wear pajamas in various configurations all day long, but not Justin.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Not me. He got a fancy hat. Spicing it up. Justin, it's almost Halloween. Yeah, I mean, it is. It's October. I will say, I made the argument that the season, the season is here.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Yeah. We've been embracing it since October 1. Yeah, well, I mean, it's just fun. It's just fun. It's just fun. It's just fun. It's just fun. It's just fun. It's fun to watch scary stuff and decorate your yard with Halloween themed, you know, inflatables and other decorations that aren't inflatables, but mostly inflatables. Because that's how we roll.
Starting point is 00:02:57 And, uh, you know, watch spooky things and maybe tell spooky stories. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh, do you have a spooky tale for me? It's a little, it's not, I mean, it's a little stories. Ooh. Ooh. Do you have a spooky tale for me, say? It's a little, I, it's not, I mean, it's a little spooky, yeah. I thought, I thought it would be fun to do something. This is, I promise you there is a medical aspect to this, but like, primarily, it's not, it's not just a medical story.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Okay. There are, there is a medical element that we'll get to. But I got this story from a couple of listeners have actually written and suggested it, but the first person to bring it to my attention, the first to lay this at my feet, was my father who has a calendar, like a page a day calendar, that tells him like interesting trivia and stories. Yes. Riley got that for him like interesting trivia and stories. Yes. Riley got that for him.
Starting point is 00:03:49 And sometimes he'll come across something that he thinks will make a good solvones and he'll save the little calendar page. And the next time I see him, he'll bring it to me. Fantastic. And he brought me this on a little calendar page and said, I thought this would make a good solvones. And I decided, you know what, this would be a fun little story
Starting point is 00:04:07 for cell bones. Maybe a respite from the real world. Yes. Justin, have you ever heard of the green children of Wolpet? No. No, that sounds unnerving, though. It's a very spooky story. It does sound.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Sounds like a doctor who upset, honestly. It does. It does. It's, I'm, I can't think of any that would have drawn on this, but since this is like sort of a British folk story, I wouldn't be shocked if that hadn't inspired something, some aspect of something at some point. Well, you can thank my dad as I do for bringing this to our attention. So this is a story that comes from the 12th century.
Starting point is 00:04:49 It takes place in Wuppet of Suffolk County, England. And it also occurred under the reign of King Stephen. And I really love the idea that this sort of spooky story comes from a time when King Stephen was in charge. Oh, King Stephen, spooky stories. I love this. Right. I love this. Do you get it? Do you get where I'm like the Bangor main's favorite son, the master of horror, Joe's dad, Stephen King. Right, exactly. And he tells scary stories. And this is a scary story from the time of King Stephen. And I say scary, it's not scary. It's just like unnerving.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Ooh, even the mystery. The scariest scary is the one that refuses to scare you. You're merely a nurse. What is it? Um, the, by the way, what is it? Was it a key to, key to the, in the elevator, you don't, you don't understand, writes, you fear them. Uh, yeah, the with David has pumpkins.
Starting point is 00:05:55 So do you know, the name wool pit, by the way, of the town, come from wolf pit. Whoa, it's a cool name for the town. They had a wolf pit there. One would hope. You would hate to think it's aspirational. Some days I have a beautiful wolf pit right here in the middle. I'm calling my shot now. I was reading a bunch of different articles about this story because I was trying to look for new elements and it's such an old story and we only know,
Starting point is 00:06:26 we only know this one thing we know, these are the facts, this is what was written about it, that's it and so after that, it's just a lot of conjecture. So I kept reading the same things ever and ever again, but everybody kept saying like, wool pit, name for the wolf pit there. As if everybody's like, oh, of course, the wolf pit, the wolf pit that's there.
Starting point is 00:06:44 It was a pit used to trap wolves, which, I mean, yeah, I could have guessed that, but I didn't know that was a thing people did. Yeah, does every time need one of those, you know what else, so the other thing I'll say, is that I bet it was a hard day when they finally had to close up the wolf pit. That must have been quite contentious.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Hey, guys, listen, nobody else had a wolf pit anymore. We've come up with other ways of doing this It's time to close it up. I'm close the wolf my grandfather is it closed? Is it closed? Is this wolf pit still have a wolf pit? Because it was famous for its wolf. It was named for its wolf pit The story originally while you investigated wolf pit still is wolf pit The story was originally told by Ralph of Kogashal, who wrote it all down around the time it would have happened.
Starting point is 00:07:31 So like he like knew one of the like main characters of the story, right? So like he had some firsthand knowledge of the whole thing. And so he wrote it down. It would be repeated a lot through the years by different writers and historians. And that would kind of change it, of course, as it's been retold. The monk and historian William of Newberg wrote about it like 31 years after it happened. And what's important is that these two versions are where we glean a lot of the details of the story from these two writings.
Starting point is 00:08:03 And one is obviously much later, but he's like, listen, I had a lot of trustworthy sources. So don't worry. This is, I know what happened. So, okay, here's the story. Two young children arrived in the village of Wolpet. Okay, nobody's with them, no adult, just these two little kids.
Starting point is 00:08:26 They, depending on how you interpret the story, they're speaking a language that seems otherworldly or something to the people of Wolpet. They don't recognize it. It sounds like gibberish. They seem to be speaking a language to each other, but it's nothing that anyone there understands. It's not English. They don't know what they're talking about.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Twins, twin language. Well, they're not twins. They're not twins. They're not twins. Also, their skin is green. So there's that. Oh, okay. I figured it was going to be John at Hank Green.
Starting point is 00:08:55 I thought they were, they're origin story. And now you know the rest of the, no, that's not how we got John and Hank Green. So their skin is green, they're speaking in language, they don't understand, their clothes seem different, strange, odd, they don't recognize the clothing, it doesn't look like clothes anybody else wears, it's like super cool and fashionable and like way ahead of their time. Really? No, it's not the ring brothers.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Got him. You got him. Got him. Take, him. Got him. Take talk that. Stank. No, I don't know. They're closer different. Also, they try to feed the kids.
Starting point is 00:09:31 The only thing that they'll eat are broad beans straight from the ground, like growing out of the ground. I was just pulling more out of the ground. I love broad beans. You love broad beans? I love broad beans. There's a snack company. It's called Bada Bean, Bada Boom. And they make this
Starting point is 00:09:49 broad bean snack. Oh, man, it is good. I have heard other people, I've read other versions of this, where it's just green beans. Don't like those as much. I know, which it's different. I believe that's probably my least favorite bean. And it's going to shot people to hear there's a bean
Starting point is 00:10:04 I'm not wild about. these green beans especially if you French cut I'm trying to podcast this is the ones just some really doesn't you don't see those actually it was it is probably I'm so viscerally opposed to them. It has probably been 15 calendar years since I have like seen them. I don't think they do it anymore. I'm sure they're out there. Have you seen it on a menu? You would point it out to me and probably intimidate me.
Starting point is 00:10:30 I wouldn't. No, I mean, the only way I would point it out is to like steer you away from that. I like a good garbanzo myself. It's a great bean. It's a great bean. It's a great bean. So anyway, so these kids are taken in
Starting point is 00:10:44 and sort of cared for work as servants in a manner. Like cared for in the sense that like you can come work here and you'll be, you'll get food and shelter and you know, you'll be okay. A man are owned by Richard Decom. But over time, he got them to like eat other food. And as they started to eat like more of a regular balanced diet, slowly their green color started to fade away. He also worked to teach them English. Okay. And eventually, once they had learned English, they were, which must have been quite a challenge since they didn't, he didn't know what language they were speaking. Yeah. Anyway, he was able to teach them English and then the girl who was the older of the two
Starting point is 00:11:31 told them the story of where they came from at that point, when she learned English. So what she said generally, and you can read like the exact text, they come from a land that they called St. Martin. This is according to one of the accounts. This is in question. And they don't know how they got there exactly. They're a little confused as to how they came from St. Martin to Wolpet. They were out like hurting their father's cattle or sheep or something depending on what you read.
Starting point is 00:12:09 They were hurting animals, right? Tending to their father's fields. And they heard the sound of bells. And this is like, in some accounts, the cows start to wander into a cave and they try to follow the cows into a cave and they get lost in the cave and they hear the sound of bells and follow them to basically arrive in wool pit.
Starting point is 00:12:30 In another, they're just sort of out there. They hear some sound, they hear some bells and they follow the bells and they end up just standing by the wolf pit and they don't know how they got there. One way or another, they clearly don't have an explanation for how they got from their dad's field to standing next to a wolf pit in this new place. Well, what they do say is that in St. Martin, the sun doesn't shine fully. It's like always twilight. It is a land where there is no real sunlight and everything is green. And that is where they come from.
Starting point is 00:13:09 That's wild. That's wild. Yes. I wouldn't. It's weird though that they had a name like Saint Martin for the place they came from considering they didn't know English. Yes. It's sketch.
Starting point is 00:13:21 There's a lot about, I mean, this is why this story is usually considered sort of like folklore. It's like, it's, you know, there's a lot of questionable bits to it. It's supposed to be somewhat fanciful, I think. I don't think you should like, I mean, like the whole point is I'm going to try to figure out why the kids are green, but I'm also going to tell you that the point of a story like this is not to figure out any of the facts. Okay, that's fair. It's just sort of to accept it. To anyway, Richard DeColne takes them in, employs them. Since they weren't from around there, he decides like you guys need to be baptized. That's got to. Thank goodness. I was on pins and needles over here trying to figure out when these kids are going to get baptized. And after they get baptized, sadly the boy falls ill and dies.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Sid. Sorry. Come on. I mean, it's just the story. The girl who became known as Agnes, I don't know who named her Agnes, I don't know if it was like if she got to pick her name or if Richard named her,
Starting point is 00:14:17 but she continued to work in the household. She eventually got married to the Archdeacon of Ealy Richard bar. Ah, Dick Bar. You love that guy. They may have had a kid. She was known to be Wonton. She was known to be a Wonton woman. Yes, but and lived out the rest of her life. And that's sort of the whole story. Well, I mean, sort of. Except, I mean, ever since then,
Starting point is 00:14:55 this story has been repeated, like I said, by different storytellers and historians, and it's become part of like British folk legend. But like, what was going on? That's been the question, because it's been interpreted to like British folk legend, but like what was going on? That's been the question, because it's been interpreted to mean a lot of things. Like should we take this like literally, were there some green kids by a wolf pit,
Starting point is 00:15:13 or is it some sort of allegory that we're supposed to figure out what that means? Like what about their greenness? What is that symbolized? Yeah, literally should we interpret this tail? Right, and so, and it's been the inspiration for different works greenness, what is that symbolized? Yeah, literally should we interpret this tail? Right. And so, and it's been the inspiration for different works of fiction, mythology, and stuff ever since then, because it is this sort of weird, unsolved mystery that is,
Starting point is 00:15:35 I mean, kind of disturbing. And so, it has captured the imagination. So, I want to talk about the various, both mystical and not so mystical medical explanations for these green kids But before we do that. Oh, yeah, we got ahead to the billing department. Let's go. Let's get our green Right. Oh, yeah, yeah, the green because the money is I gotcha Okay, let's go The medicines that ask you let my God for the mouth. Hey there, I'm Ellen Weatherford. And I'm Christian Weatherford. And we've got big feelings about animals that we just got to share. On just the zoo of us, your new favorite animal will be podcast.
Starting point is 00:16:21 We're here to critically evaluate how each animal excels and how it doesn't, rating them out of 10 on their effectiveness, ingenuity and aesthetics. Guest experts give you their takes informed by actual real-life experiences studying and working with very cool animals like sharks, cheetahs, and sea turtles. It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears. So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count, why slots move so slow or how a spider sees the world, find out with us every Wednesday on Just the Zoo of Us, which can now be found in its natural habitat on MaximumFun.org.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. All right, Sydney. You told me during the commercial break when the other folks were talking, which were also us, but prerecorded us that you had this one cracked. You said case, I'm excited to announce. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Cates closed. And you said you held up a big banner that said mission accomplished.
Starting point is 00:17:24 No, I definitely didn't do. I didn't.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E.E., it's finally solved. Colin, we did it. Was there an exclamation point at the end? Hello, the book is, but okay, one book, there are several books like this, but the one I don't remember too came out in 1976 called Jack Ripper, the final solicitor. I mean, it is like, I did it. It's like, Jack Ripper? Jack the Ripper. No, Jack Tripper, the final solution. I mean, it is like, Lisa, I did it. It's like, Jack Ripper?
Starting point is 00:18:05 Jack the Ripper. No, Jack Tripper, the final member through his company. No, Jack the Ripper. Okay, you said Jack Ripper. It's absolutely possible. Which, if Jack the Ripper was actually a guy named Jack Ripper and never was, what in front of us?
Starting point is 00:18:21 And nobody figured that out until 1976. That's a shame. Jack Ripper, all he's my house. That's a shame Jack Riparolli It's my house. That's no way that he it would be so so Cavalier As the columns of Jack the river Yes, my my middle name is Daniel Jack D. Ripar. That's me Anyway, so I Jack the river does not play a part in this story as far as I know
Starting point is 00:18:41 Sorry. Sorry. So, Jack the River does not play a part in this story as far as I know. Oh, or does he? No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. So, if you look into the full answers, the mystical answers, the magical answers for this, you'll get a lot of like theories as to why this would have happened. A lot of people are like, well, they're fairies, obviously.
Starting point is 00:19:08 And they came from fairy land and they got mixed up with humans. And there's like a lot of that if you read like traditional British sort of stories and tales like that, you'll find these stories of otherworldly sorts of beings who wander through some portal and end up in the human world. And so like that would not be out of place, especially for that time period and the various people who told the story. There are some who thought that they were like aliens and somehow their planet got stuck
Starting point is 00:19:33 in some sort of like orbit nearby and then they got accidentally transported to Earth. We all considered the alien angle. Well, I mean, they're green. Well, there you go. And aliens, as we all know. There's a lot of interpretive sort of, like a lot of people have looked at it as,
Starting point is 00:19:54 you know, they're trying to tell us something about the people who lived of the time and about different traditions. And like, there is a concept in Celtic lore of green spirits, which are like sinless spirits, you know, these like wholesome spirits. And especially there's this whole like well later, Agnes Marries, this guy who is from a place called King's Lynn and Lynn or lean is also the Celtic word
Starting point is 00:20:18 that means evil. And so like basically this wholesome fairy marries an evil human. Yeah, gotcha. Which sounds, I mean, that's like a lot of. That's probably the one. That's the one I'm leaning towards. Yeah, that's the one that makes the most sense.
Starting point is 00:20:35 There's a connection to, have you ever heard the babes in the woods story? Do you know where that phrase babes in the wood? You've heard that before. Okay. this is another English folk legend. It comes from a ballad that was written in 1595 by Thomas Millington of Norwich. And the story of the babes in the wood is because I'd never heard the story before, but which, by the way, what he called it was the Norfolk Gent, his will and testament, and how he committed the keepings of his children to his own brother, who dealt most wickedly with them, and how God plagued him for it.
Starting point is 00:21:11 He used to really get all the unknown titles. But the tie-in is that, so the story of the Babes in the Wood is, there's a couple, they're both sick. They're dying. They have two kids. The dad, before he dies, looks at his brother and is like, please promise me you'll care for my children. And the brother's like, you got it, bro, I'm gonna take care of your kids. And then as soon as the couple die,
Starting point is 00:21:33 the brother's like, I am definitely not taking care of these kids. Moreover, I went there inheritance, so I gotta get him killed, but I don't wanna do it. So he basically gets two murderers to take the kids into the woods to kill them. Except one of the murderers feels really bad about it and it's like I can't kill these kids.
Starting point is 00:21:49 So he kills the other murderer and then looks at the kids and it's like you guys can just take off into the woods, okay? Just run away and we'll pretend this never happened. Except they're little kids, so they die in the woods. It's a really sad story. What are you doing, Sydney? I'm just saying this is the story.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Weak and you're like piling it on. This is the story. I don't know. Listen. You chose to tell the story. You include this story. You talked to Thomas Millington about his story. I can't.
Starting point is 00:22:14 He died too. There's a whole ending where the uncle gets his comeuppance and is punished by God. After you have a comeuppance, it's a pretty whack stuff he did. So anyway, in the version that would tie into this, the kids are actually poisoned by the uncle with arsenic. Why is this important? Well, chronic arsenic poisoning can do many things, but among them is that you can have
Starting point is 00:22:40 skin changes if you have chronic arsenic poisoning. One, or you can actually form skin cancers, but another is that you can get something arsenical caratosis, and this is basically like a change in the pigmentation of your skin over time. And you can look at, it looks different, you can look at pictures of this if you're curious, because it can be either hyper or hypopigmented,
Starting point is 00:23:05 meaning lesser. You can lose or gain pigmentation of your skin. A lot of the pictures that I looked at looked a lot, because as you may imagine, I've never seen a case of chronic arsenic poisoning in real life. A lot of the pictures I looked at looked like splotchy. It wasn't just like your entire skin changed color. It looked more like your spotty. But that change in pigmentation maybe gave their skin sort of a green cast or a green
Starting point is 00:23:33 hue, which is why these children. And then I guess this is a happier end to the story of the babes in the wood because instead of them dying and getting covered with leaves by birds, they wander into wool pit and get taken in by Richard and they eat regular food. Yeah, that's a cheerier tale for sure. I mean, I think it's better than the original. Certainly. So that is one theory. Is that what was wrong with these kids?
Starting point is 00:24:03 They had chronic arsenic poisoning. Well, you're conflating like, you're kind of in the area between fact and myth of this, right? Oh, yeah. The story of the uncle and the kids, that sounded like a kind of messed up little fairy tale type deal. But. Fairy tale is a weird thing for that.
Starting point is 00:24:22 They used to be, we watched that thing, you know. They used to be pretty dark watched that thing, you know, they used to be pretty dark. What was that called? Ooh, be careful. Oh man, a grim. There's a, there's this handful of grattle story. Grim tale, something like that.
Starting point is 00:24:33 On Netflix. It's a series, right? With, uh. It's cool, don't get me wrong. It's very cool. But be careful. My dear friend Ron Funches is in it, but you gotta be, you gotta be careful over this spooky show.
Starting point is 00:24:46 It's a tail, dark, and grim. Woo, you see that pop up? You may wanna get that, get it, quick watch of that. It's on your kids, your kids sort of sensibilities. Like Cooper loved it. I mean, she's three and she absolutely adored it and wanted to watch it again.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Charlie, who's seven, was pretty freaked out. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, I'm not so this story, you know, it's Halloween time. I'm operating here in the realm of myth. I just think, I think it's kind of interesting to theorize, like, let's say that they really did find two green kids. Why were they green? And one possible explanation would be chronic arsenic poisoning.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Now that is not the most commonly thought explanation. So let's say for a second that these are just two human children. Nothing mystical, they're not fairies, they're not aliens. Seems a stretch, but go on. They're not some sort of allegory. It's just, let's take the story at face value. Literally, two little kids who are green or found by a wolf pit. They speak in a language we don't understand and their clothes look different than ours. What could that be? Well, the most likely explanation is that these were two Flemish children. Okay. So at this... Access of Flem make them green.
Starting point is 00:26:03 No, it's in from like Flanders, like Dutch kids. So there had been at this period in flim made them green now is in from like flanders like Dutch kids So there had been at this period in the 12th century There was a lot of immigration like a lot of flimish immigration into England So you would have had a lot of flimish people who had recently come there and they were being persecuted after 1154 Henry the second became king and And a lot of them were being killed. So one theory is that one of the battles was nearby. And maybe these two kids, like maybe their parents had been had been lost
Starting point is 00:26:40 in this battle nearby, right? And the kids had sort of wandered away like trying to escape danger, but didn't know where to go and got lost in the woods. Especially since there was a village not too far away called Fornam St. Martin, which was slightly to the north
Starting point is 00:26:59 of Burry St. Edmonds, where the battle took place. Anyway, the point is there's the St. Martin connection. Okay. So these two flimish kids orphaned by war, wander into the woods and get found. And so when they find these kids, they dress differently because they're immigrants and they have different cultural traditions, different clothing. So they don't look like the people of Wolpet because they're dressed like flimish people. Also they're speaking Flimish. Okay, but why were they green?
Starting point is 00:27:29 Well, right, that's still a problem. Yeah. And I will say the part about them speaking Flimish, a lot of people have problems with this story only because the guy who took a man, Richard Dickholm, would have been like an educated man. Like he was the Lord of his manner and he would have been, at the time, you would assume would be like educated.
Starting point is 00:27:49 And he probably would have known, like he might not have spoken Flemish certainly, but he would have recognized like, he wouldn't have said like, what is this strange alien language? He would have said like, oh, that's Flemish. Yeah, I think that's Flemish. But anyway, why are they green? If all of this is just two kids wondering in the woods and get found somewhere and taught English and fed broad beans, why
Starting point is 00:28:09 are they green? Well, green sickness is another explanation for this or chlorosis is the other name for this. Now, the name green sickness or chlorosis would not come along as a colloquial term for a few hundred years. Yeah. But that doesn't mean people didn't turn green before then. And basically, this was the name given to some sort of condition that it took us a lot of time to fully understand, where people would become weak and pale and lethargic, have very little energy, just be very tired. Sometimes it would be tight-end with irritable, grumpy kind of thing. There was not a really good explanation for how this would happen, but their skin would
Starting point is 00:28:59 change so much that some of them, depending on what their natural skin color was, would take on kind of a greenish tent, which is why it became known as green sickness, eventually. It would be eventually tied really strongly to young women. And we've done a whole episode, by the way, on this. There's a whole episode of sawbones if you're interested in the history of green sickness and all the really wild stuff we tried to do to treat, so to speak, green sickness. But it became associated with young women, especially young, virginal women. Oh. And basically any grumpy young woman could be diagnosed with green sickness after a while. And there was this whole, there were a lot of theories like it's because all of your
Starting point is 00:29:50 humors are stuck in your uterus and they're making you sick. There was a thought that like since it was so closely associated with virginity, like well you know a great solution for that. We did a whole episode on this. I remember. Yeah. I mean, I told you, it was gross, it was bad. Anyway, what we would eventually find out in the 1930s is that this green sickness that literally turned some people sort of green is actually probably iron deficiency anemia.
Starting point is 00:30:24 There are some other anemias, but for most of the people who were diagnosed through the decades and centuries with green sickness, they probably just had this inemia because they weren't getting enough iron, and that can make you weak, pale, tired. It makes sense for kids that have been on their own for a while trying to like, live off the land. Yes, it makes sense that these kids that have been on their own for a while trying to like live off the land.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Yes. It makes sense that these kids would have had some sort of nutritional deficiency that would have led to iron deficiency anemia or some other form of anemia that they would appear somewhat green and that once they were taken in and adapted to a proper diet, their green color would fade because the anemia would resolve. But so to put it in medical context, some anemic kids were found in the woods and they fixed it with diet. But that, my friends, would not make a podcast episode, which is what you've just listened to.
Starting point is 00:31:18 And thank you so much for that, by the way. Thanks to the taxpayers for these, their song Medicines is the intro and outro of our program. And thanks to you for listening. We very much appreciate you being here. If you want to buy stuff that is related to this program, you can go to mackelroymerch.com. That's us, MCELROYmerch.com. And you can get some some solbons paraphernalia. We also got a book.
Starting point is 00:31:46 If you get anywhere you buy books and look for the solbons book, that's where you'll find it. Case closed. Read a book. Read a book. Books are great. Read any book, but read ours. Well, that too.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Yeah. And we've got a Provax pin on there. Some other great stuff. So check it out. That is going to do it for us though. No, it's not. My mistake. It wouldn't be solb bones if I didn't remind you as much as it's been fun to tell scary stories
Starting point is 00:32:10 about the past. In the present, there are two great vaccines out there you could get. Ooh. One is for COVID if you haven't gotten it yet. And there, man, you got a whole variety there. But pick one and get it and tell a friend and a flu vaccine. Yeah. You should be getting two. So two shots. Two shots. Two shots for the price of one right now. The price is free, generally. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:32 I mean, generally for, yes, for the COVID vaccine. Yeah. But it's a place of flu vaccine. Cool. So go get your vaccines. That's going to do it for us until next time. My name is Justin McRoy. I'm Sydney McRoy.
Starting point is 00:32:42 And as always, don't drill a hole in your head. All right. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Audience supported. Alright!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.