Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine - Twelve Days of Christmas

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

The song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" sounds like an extravagant and generous cavalcade of gifts. But what if your true love had less than pure intentions? Justin and Dr. Sydnee go through each present and speculate what deadly diseases they could potentially give you. Not hard to theorize, considering these gifts include two dozen birds.Music: "Medicines" by The Taxpayers https://taxpayers.bandcamp.com/

Saw bones is a show about medical history, and nothing the hosts say should be taken as medical advice or opinion. It's for fun. Can't you just have fun for an hour and not try to diagnose your mystery boil? We think you've earned it. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy a moment of distraction from that weird growth. You're worth it. that weird growth. You're worth it. Alright, talk is about books. One, two, one, two, three, four. We came across a pharmacy with a toy and that's busted out. We were shot through the broken glass and had ourselves a look around.

Some medicines, some medicines that escalate my cop for the mouth. Wow! Hello everybody and welcome to Sovons! for the mouth. Wow. Hello everybody and welcome to Sobbins. I was just back right. I'm the co-host. You forgot the marital tour of Miss God. It's a marital tour of Miss God and medicine. And I'm Sydney McRoy. I'm gonna introduce some Gregorian champ vibes.

Yeah, what's that all about? Oh, the time in the 90s with Gregorian champ was like a thing for a mint and a mint. It was really in. Y'all, look into it. There was a bit where Gregorian Chant had a moment. Well, in the 90s, we were just trying everything for a little bit of everything. We were like, Gregorian Chant, is this something?

Swing? Remember, swing came way back, like, back in a big way for like five minutes. We ended a genre for every country that is in America. It was called world music. It was America music and world music. Everything that's not America. Everything that's not. It doesn't listen.

The 90s were a wild time. And I know you think you understand it because you're all wearing the fashion of the 90s now. It's not the same, but you had to live it. You had to live it. Wait till Stranger Things gets there. You'll see. This is a saw bones. We are doing a very silly episode this week. Yes. I feel like we're all very stressed. The holidays are coming, which inherently has stressed involved, you know, because you want to do all the stuff so that it's a good time for everybody. But I think we're also stressed because the elephant in the room, the Omicron covered elephant in the room.

I don't know if elephant's given the Omicron, that was weird. That was a weird way to make sure. And everybody's stressed because we don't know what it means. And that's, I felt like I should address why are we not doing an episode on that right now? Why are we doing something silly and fun and holiday themed because I think You probably know all there is to know about it at the moment, which is it's still too early to know. It's very contagious Hopefully it is less severe than Delta. I'll go on the record and say that it is There are factors that are pointing that way, but it is early. Specifically expert witness just now.

That is what all the scientists are saying is, yes, of course we hope that because it's more contagious. I'll say it. It's the end of COVID, baby. No. We're all getting it. I'm not saying that. Of course, I hope that.

Of course, I hope that. I want to go places and see people. We were so wrong about the beginning of this. I just wanna be right about this. I wanna call my shot and say that Omacron will be the end of COVID, okay? It would be nice to think that a milder, more contagious strain would outcompete Delta

and make this a less deadly disease. Why are you putting it in a border? That would be very nice. I hope that that happens. I, ideally I hope everybody gets vaccinated, because if you get vaccinated, it happens! No, nobody wants that.

Even if you get COVID, you don't get severe illness or die. I'm relying now on virus mutation to get us out of this, because humanity cannot do it on its own. I mean, I don't know. Anyway, we don't know enough. I hope that's the direction it's going. I would fix everything. I would, even if you are vaccinated and boosted, well, first of all, if you're not, go do

that. And secondly, if you are, I would be a little more cautious about if you have symptoms of something, don't assume it's not COVID. Yeah. And don't assume that just because Omicron is a weak COVID, that's going to get us all out of this, this, this, you know, because there are still, you know, compromised people, people who are more, who have underlying chronic illness, that are going to be more susceptible to severe disease.

And so to continue to protect others around you, get vaccinated, get boosted, wear your mask, and get hyped, because COVID is all the way out thanks to Omicron, a weak COVID that can hang. Now, we don't, you keep saying that, and you're gonna give it an air of authority because it's on this podcast, but we don't know that.

Remember it was me just saying it, not sitting. You could tell the difference. But we just don't know yet. We just don't know yet. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me A false sense of security That was crazy

That was good That was good, you like that somewhere? That was good, although you didn't, I will say that's not true because I don't believe you I know better, I know better Follow the science and the science is developing We're getting the answers slowly A lot of scientists are working on it Let's talk about the 12 days of Christmas

This is what we're doing. This is the topic. We're going to talk about the 12 days of Christmas except in a solenoid style. Yes. What if the 12 days of Christmas, each one was not simply a gift, but a veiled threat, I guess. What if your true love doesn't have good intentions?

What if your true love is a diminutive kill you with these gifts? So, Sydney wanted to take this song and pervert it in, as is her fashion. That is what I do. I remember when, this was inspired by, we once did an episode of Santa's Sick, who I talked about all of the, all the illnesses that I think Santa might have. That's a classic. We need to be now productive. That's, this is sort of in that spirit.

Um, yeah. So this is our last episode of this calendar year. We won't be here next week and then we'll be back. Hope we'll probably talk about it on the phone pretty early next year. Yes, I think once there is more information for me to share it right now, it would be a lot of guessing.

And you know, there's plenty of guessing out there. All right, now this is a little bit of a competition, although I don't think we'll be able to choose which is best, but we will, we each brought our own just to see how they differed. The first is for the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. A partridge and a pear tree.

Okay, Sid, why is that bad? Okay, I focus on the pear part of this, all right? There's a lot you can say about partridges. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of birds in this. There are game birds. Yeah. You can eat them. Yeah. Well, there are a lot of birds in this. There are game birds. Yeah. You can eat them.

Yeah. I'd have it. Most of these are game birds. Yeah. Most of these are birds. Most of these are birds. About birds. Oh, it's about feasting.

So a lot of these songs were like a lot of the early gifts for like foods that you would bring to a celebration. And like even the word pear tree is probably just, did you read this as like, sort of stemmed from the word pear tree for partridge or something, like it probably had nothing to do with pear tree. Okay.

Anyway, so they're all about birds, but pears are a controversial medicinal fruit. Why is that? So a lot of, we've talked about it on sobans, a lot of different fruits and vegetables or herbs or plants have been like Investigated throughout the ages for like is this medicine is this poison? I don't know Raw pairs were thought to be poison for a long time

But they thought if you baked them you were cool because people were like these taste good so We should bake them and eat them But by the 1700s they did have a medicinal value So you could use dried pairs for belly fluxes. Diary. Oh yeah. So basically, I think that their true love is trying to stop them up. They're trying to stop. This is kind of harmless. They're not trying to kill them. They're just trying to like stop them. They're trying to treat their diarrhea. They're trying to treat, well, we don't know that you have diarrhea. If you don't have diarrhea, your true love is just trying to constipate you with some

pairs. You're going to want to go with buying this one. Pairs contain, and naturally, occurring toxin, ametaline, which when you eat your body releases cyanide in your guts, and I mean, it's to the fatal. To the fatal. Well, now you should clarify, eating it's to their fatal. To their fatal. Well, now you should clarify, eating a pear is not fatal. Eating a pear is not fatal because it would take hundreds perhaps the range, we've talked about this before,

but the range of seeds that you would need to eat is so baffling, the range that is commonly accepted is like between 150 and thousands. So it's like, no, there's nobody knows. Nobody knows. It would take a whole. Now, to be fair though, it is threatening in the sense that it is a whole pear tree. It's not a pear.

It's a whole pear tree. So I can. So you might be able to gin up enough seeds. You could generate, yes, enough seeds and because you're gonna continue to produce pairs Okay, I think who do you think wins that round? That's you won that one. I I was really reaching on the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me To turtle doves Sydney, let me tell you my problem with turtle lows. Yes, check hominizes

It was that yours? Oh no. I can't believe he found this. This is good, right? So proud of you. Go ahead. Go ahead and tell me what you got. The Trick-O-Minises is commonly found in doves and pigeons. It's a big problem for turtle loaves, which used to be a lot more common throughout,

but in part because of Trick-O-Minises, they, it's been a problem, especially for a lot of endangered pigeons, it can result in high mortality for young pigeons. It's been passed around a lot of different birds, especially in the UK where a lot of these birds are common. But in humans, it is the most common curable STD. That's true. Well, it's the, but do you do know it's a different turcamonus? That is arguable. You can't get so the turcamonus that cause the turrim

loves is that they give you STDs. No, the the the turcamonus galane, which is what affects dubs and other birds like you mentioned. Uh huh. It's different from the turcamonus vaginalis that affects humans. They are both trick-amonus. So yes, this is also why I chose this because turtle dubs are also supposed to be like a lovey thing, it's like a symbol of love and affection and the fact that they also have this sort of vaguely related sexually transmitted infection. It's not sexually transmitted in turtle dubs.

Did I also learn this? Trick-amonus is an ancient pathogen, and it used to cause illness in dinosaurs, we think, a frounce like when this, this trickamonus galane would in effects, birds of prey, it's called frounce. Frounce? And so dinosaurs could get the frounce.

Oh, Gary, I got the frounce. You know the episode of dinosaurs were, we got the frounce. He got the frounce and he got the frowns. Oh, Gary, I got the frowns. You remember that episode of dinosaurs were, were we got the frowns? He got the frowns and got the frowns. Uh, you could get, you get lethargy and fluffed up plumage. And you see, did you see the frowns reunion, by the way? Yes. Oh my gosh.

Let me trim it. Well, this a tie, I guess, because we both came up with trick and bonus in the turtle bobs. Uh, okay. On the third day of Christmas, my true love That's a tie, I guess, because we both came up with trick and bonus in the turtle bobs. Okay. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. Three fringes. Another delicious game bird. If you're into eating animals, a lot of people aren't digging.

That's fine too. All right, I started the last time, it's your turn. This one's an easy one. Okay. Ava and flu. Ava and flu. That's what you got to watch out for in easy one. Okay. A, V, and flu. A, V, and flu. That's what you gotta watch out for in these chickens. Okay.

I mean, not specifically. This sounds like I'm like hating on French chickens, specifically. It's just any. And actually, it's not, it's not because they're French. Apparently the words just sounded similar. Yeah. For the species.

They're just like from, they're like foreign. Yeah, exactly. It's like fancy foreign, hence sort of like world music in the 90s. These are like, hens that aren't, I guess in the UK is probably where this song is, I don't know.

Anyway, yeah, avian flu. Mine is that hens, especially if they have fertilized eggs, can be really dangerous. They can attack you, they can go, they can try to pack you, it can be bad. But they don't know if the eggs are fertilized or not. So if they have any eggs, it says best to move them way for the eggs.

If they're like, unfertilized, you need to harvest them as best of it the way for the eggs. Now, roosters on their hands, I don't know what it means. And you got, they said on the article, you got to get rid of them to protect your flock. So they, yeah, I didn't say what I mean. I know roosters remain some roosters are if you have a mean rooster. You have to get rid of them. I don't get it here first.

Just in macro I think roosters are mean. This piece didn't clarify how you get rid of a mean rooster. I guess you just get an apartment in the city and until it figures things out. Yeah, anger management. Something on the fourth day of Christmas. Yeah, anger management. Something. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. Who won the last one? You did.

I did. A.V.M. Flu is scarier than chicken. A.V.M. Flu is scarier than chicken. I don't know though, chickens. I'm touched by hints. The hints. French hints. French hints.

Well, I mean, they're descended from dinosaurs as we have established that. Doesn't make them chicken. Scary. Doesn't make them chicken. Gary. Doesn't make them chickens. Hens? French hens are not chickens. Yeah, they're just a kind of chicken.

It's not the French hens. No, it's a specific kind of... Our French hens, Siri. Our French hens chickens. It's just a kind of chicken. You're a kind of chicken right now. Our French hands chickens. The first search result is our

French hands considered birds. Yes, you're okay. You're just chicken. Yeah. Why are you making me favorolis chicken? Favorite chicken? Is a French breed of chicken. Okay. There you go. We all agree. They're chicken. Okay. There you go. We all agree They've got like a big rough Was much true love gave to me or callie birds? No, you can't that's cheating. That's cheating You chose to be callie. What it's supposed to be callie? Callie not calling

It's not calling? No. Well, I mean, that's what we say now. That is commonly accepted now. You're not wrong, but it started as Colley. That's the root of mine. All right, so go on. Colley birds is what it was originally. Do you know what Colley is referencing?

No. That they were co-collared. Oh, interesting. Black. They're blackbirds. Oh. That's the deal. Okay. It gonna be Black. They're blackbirds. Oh. That's the deal. Okay. They're gonna be ravens or just blackbirds, but they were cold colored.

Okay. Now it's an interesting fact, but it doesn't get us anywhere near a diagnosis. Well, I just sort of was playing around for fun here and decided that what if they have black lung? It is fun. There's little, there's little funnier or more fun than black lung. It is fun. There's little, there's little funnier or more fun than Black lung. We all know the dangers of cold of the lungs

and these are collie births. I had nothing. And you run after a while, all these birds are just birds and they just have bird illnesses, which are scary and we talk a lot about it. We did a whole episode about how scary birds

can be medically. If I can just say to me, I wish, I feel like you kind of cheated on that one because you're just kind of like pulling stuff out your butt. Is that fair to say? It was a loose association. Okay, a loose association and you're embarrassed, would you say? Yes. I'm not embarrassed. Okay. Mine is four calling birds because 24% of all car crashes

involved phone calls and hands free or otherwise. So you get one of these birds, it's on the phone every day. Hey, what do you wanna have for dinner tonight? I don't know, I'm driving, leave me alone. 24% of crashes, you're not saved with the hands free folks, stay off the phone. Are you letting the birds drive?

They'll just call you. They're calling birds. They're calling you on the phone constantly. You're just trying to get to Crogra and back. And they're like, hey, do you want to watch? Do you want to watch? Or should I do black stuff? Which one of these is a worse loose association?

I think this one's a tie, too. Right? Is a tie. Fair enough. They have Christmas lunch here. I'll get a little loose that I threw out pretty badly. All the five golden rings. Okay, sit.

Well, I went quite literal here. Okay. Five golden rings seems excessive to me. That seems like a lot of golden rings and a lot of gold. And overexposure to gold, you can develop gold toxicity. This is actually a problem because gold compounds can be used in the treatment of certain illnesses like rheumatoid arthritis.

And if you get too much gold, you get skin rashes, you can get bleeding in your GI tract, you can get vomiting. It can actually suppress your bone marrow. There's bad stuff that can come from too much gold. I think this is a pretty clear threat. I'm going to give you so much gold that you're going to get gold poisoning. That is pretty good.

The mine actually kind of in a sobbo in this sort of fashion, I found the story of Dutch born, Johann Vander smoot, you heard his name? No. So Johann Vander was Dutch born and he actually was in a smelting accident, a smelting accident, as he said. And he actually lost his generals in the smelting accident in the 1970s. And he actually had his generals replace with a gold key that activated the preparation age,

tractor B, and he thwarts Austin powers by teaming up with Dr. Evil. Oh my gosh, this is fake. It's gold, it's gold member. It's not fake, it's historical. This is fake. I don't even, I was sitting here looking at you going, what are you, where is this story from?

Yeah, it's the story of your hunvun or smut so this is from Austin powers he loves gold so that's a big danger this is from Austin which Austin powers is this from I don't remember this one gold member oh I never saw that one well I know what we're doing after we finish this recording. I mean, yours, you get the award for creativity. Thank you, but I think you win that round. Okay, we got one more for the break. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me six, Gisa Lane. Okay. Did you know that a lot of different wild avian species like geese have been found to be reservoirs

of antibiotic resistant, interic bacteria. No. Things like E. coli, like bacteria that live in your interic meaning like live in your intestinal tract. like bacteria that live in your interic meaning like live in your intestinal tract. There is a much higher rate of resistant bacteria in animals like geese. So like they're harboring these deadly pathogens that antibiotics will not work for, not just geese, but geese are among them. And so these birds could be carrying an infection that under normal circumstances

would be easily curable with antibiotics, but the geese have made it a super bug. Wow. For mine, I regretted doing a bird attack for French hens because these geese are laying and they are really dangerous. Now, it's interesting Canadian geese are laying and they are really dangerous. Now, it's interesting Canadian geese attacks on humans have become a big problem

because we are expanding into their territory. Yeah, so by removing... Fits on us. Yeah, it's of course, removing some of their natural habitats and they're getting defensive because they have, you know, their nests there, especially if they're laying. Now, normally it would be the male Canadian geese that would do the attacking,

but I mean, I think it counts. Do you know there used to be a flock of Canadian geese that lived up back in my grandparents' house. And we named two of them, Peg and Owl, that we would see, which sort of dates when this would have. That's from married with children. When this would have occurred. I mean, I win. Yeah, you win that one too. We've got six more days to come and fight over, mine just get worse.

So hang in there. Because first we gotta go to the billing department. Let's go. The medicines, the medicines, the escalate my car before the mouth. This week on tights Fights, Austin Creed, better known as WWE Superstar Xavier Woods, unbouncing his many passions. This dude actually wants these ridiculous things he wants to wear a crown, he wants to be

a G4, he wants to have a Yacht Rock band, like he wants to DJ at a festival one day. WWE and G4's Austin Creed and tights and vibes. Find it on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. Seven Swans of Swimming, I feel like you've gone up Like we're modulating the key. I'm sorry. It won't be as nice. We will edit it together Seven swans of swimming. Yeah, okay, are you gonna start this time? Yeah, this one? This is this is this is in trap, this one's in trap,

because the swans, especially if you're in the UK where the song is very popular, all of the swans are owned by the queen. So swans is... Yeah, it's a big deal to hurt a swan there. Swans is not just hurt, but take. If they're a swimming and you're like, here I got these for you as a gift,

just come take them out of the water real quick. You're gonna get busted, pal. That's true. By the queen. Are you kidding me with this? That's very true. Yeah. You can't mess with swans in the UK.

So the deal is hundreds of years ago, they were hunted at the point of endangerment. And so they, and this is no of years ago, they were hunted at the point of endangerment. This is no longer a... Well, they were hunted into the queen said, okay, these are all mine, but now they're currently endangered. The queen's protection is sort of like to help the species populate. The queen actually has someone who works for her named the queen Swan marker

that is in charge of making sure that you, that all the swans are cared for. Now, that is so interesting. It's not just living swans, dead swans belong to the queen as well. So if you wanna get a Swan taxidermy, you have to get permission from the queen Swan marker. True.

That seems, is it a cumbersome process? Like how easy is it? I bet it's I bet it's pretty smooth. The other thing is that the queen also owns all the whales and also. Was it there was the queen just picking animals that she liked? Yeah, I got the I own all the the Queen owns all the dolphins and whales folks. That's that there you go. The Queen owns all that dolphins and whales, folks. There you go. The Queen owns all that. I've never wanted to be a queen, but in this exact moment, all of a sudden, I want to

be a queen because if I can just claim like, you know, all the diet doctor peppers belong to be. Yeah. What about swan? What about swans for you, sis? Okay. Again, similar to geese, I did learn that swans are reservoirs for a lot of different bacteria like Campola, Bacter and Salmonella. Again, similar to geese, I did learn that swans are reservoirs for a lot of different bacteria,

like Campola, Bacter and Salmonella. However, the bigger problem for me was the swimming. Because I didn't really think about the angle of entrapment by the queen, but it's a big drowning risk if you're swimming around trying to catch seven swans. They probably don't want to be caught. So I feel like you're drawing your true love out into the water, you know, best of luck. Yeah, to drown them. That's dangerous. We're supposed to, like, that's the whole thing here.

I do, you just got a little dark for my taste. You're trying to get them beheaded. I don't think that's the point. No, I don't think, maybe it was at one point. I've, can you hand that one to me? Yeah, you get that one. That's just like that one. Okay, on the eighth day of Christmas,

my true love gave to me. Eight made some milking. I feel like we may have come up with the same one on this one. We'll see, you go ahead. So for me, this one was the most obvious. This was actually the first one I thought of when I came up with this topic. This is why we're doing this.

Cowpox. Okay. Is that not yours? Go ahead. How is that how you thought of? It's pretty different. Go ahead. Okay.

Cowpox, you may remember we discussed in our episode on smallpox. It's a viral infection that can cause skin lesions, okay? Like pox, like these marks on your skin. And it is in the same family as smallpox, which of course it was a deadly illness that killed many, many, many people before we vaccinated against it and essentially eradicated it. It only exists in test tubes places.

Calpox is very similar, but is much milder. And so in the original like vaccination discovery process by Jenner, that's what he noticed is that milkmaids would get calpox from milk and cows, and then they wouldn't get smallpox because it was an early form of a variation. You get this cowpox, you develop immunity that will also protect you from smallpox.

So infecting people with cowpox could be a way to prevent them from getting in dine of smallpox. So you're trying to give them cowpox at the point. Well, I'm here to tell you that Darries are terrifying places to work at according to WorkSafe, which is an organization in New Zealand that talks about the dangers of dairy farming and what you can do to like sort of address that,

like moving rotary platforms, passing fixed rails, competitively trapper crush person. So you're going to need to fit a banana rail between the rotary platforms, passing fixed rails, competitively trapper crush person. So you're gonna need to fit a banana rail between the rotary platforms, backing and kick rails. So that's just like one thing. Poor drainage on a dairy farm. I mean, it's gonna be slippery. That's a hazard.

Correct. That sounds, I don't know much about dairy farms, but poor drainage on a dairy farm, that sentence sounds nightmarish to me. A poorly designed cow entries and exits that have turns, ramps, or steps are too steep. Okay, that's a danger, folks. Kicking cows.

Oh, you mean like the cows kick you? I was gonna say, don't ever kick, why would you ever kick a cow? That's terrible. Distress cows. There's dangers all over this thing. You're gonna need kick rails, you're gonna need banana rails, you need non-slip matting, you need to make sure that the machines are guarded. You really went deep into dairy farming.

It's dangerous in there, y'all. Wet and slippery surfaces. There's hoses and pipes. There's overhead obstacles. This place is like, what's happening? I don't know. I have a thing called a rope rail to protect it from the cows, but it's terrifying in there. You always, you talk about this stuff and I'm not a huge fan of milk and I always think

like, maybe I just should not have dairy anymore. And then I remember the existence of cheese and ice cream and I go, well, and I just ate yogurt again because I do every day. And then I think, okay, well, don't get, let's not get hasty Sydney. Okay, so I think your mind is just like homework, medical history right there, cowpox, generous, smallpox vaccines. Oh, I'm the ninth day of Christmas. My true love gave to me.

Nine ladies dancing. I feel like we came up with the same one here too. There's absolutely no chance that that happened going. You didn't reference the dancing plague? No, I'm not 15. I want people to have new stuff. I'm not playing this. I'm not playing this.

I know. Okay, so do yours. Well, okay, we did a whole episode about it, but in 15.18. And a chapter on our book. And the chapter on our book. People started dancing. Nobody knew why, and some of them danced until they died. And it was like, they couldn't stop.

It was a contagious dancing epidemic. And I mean, obviously that's what he's trying to start here. This true love. He sends these nine dancing ladies to her, or him. To get a dance. To the person. To the flash mob, as we said. Yeah. And what if the whoever is in the song who's singing the person They start dancing until they die mine

Capoeira Capoeira is a party one but go ahead. It's a martial art that was created by enslaved African people in Brazil. And it is a very fluid sort of martial art, and actually they were banned from practicing it, so they introduced music into the martial art to make it appear as though they're practicing dancing. It looks like dancing. It looks like dancing, but it's actually a martial art, and often in, you know, where this is a more serious competition, people will attach knives to their feet for capillary areas. So it's a dangerous thing.

They're MMA fighters that got their start in cap oil. So it's a dangerous thing. There are MMA fighters that got their start in cap oil. I bring some of that technique into the octagon. That was a good one. That was a very cool. It's like nine ladies, nine ladies. Nice. Screeching cap oil. Coming at you, yeah.

Good way. That's the end for the true love. That's the end. There was a video game that I have played in my life. I feel like you should know where one of the characters that you could fight with. the end. Um, that was a go. There was a video game that I have played in my life. I feel like you should know where one of the characters that you could fight with. I feel like you, it was one of the fighting games and one of the characters did capoeira. Like that was their fighting side. Eddie from Tekken. Yeah. I did play Tekken. So that would

be that would be it. Yeah. Um, uh, the 10th day of Christmas, what you love here to me? 10 Lords of Leaping. 10 Lords of Leaping. Are they the jumping Frenchman of Maine? No, because I'm not doing old stuff. Well, I am. All new. It's the holidays. It's time for memories of shows gone by.

And in 1878, some, uh, loggers, some lumberjacks, some lumberjacks in Maine, who happened to be a French descent, like French-Canadian descent, would have these, had all these like increased startle reflexes and were like the smallest noise and they jumped and they hints the jumping Frenchman of Maine. Thought to be a culture bound syndrome, we've done an episode on this too. Look at that. But contagious in a sense, they all were doing it. You know who we haven't done an episode on? The Lord of the Dance.

Michael flatly. Oh, the lead of River Dance. Did he ever leap? Sorry, what? Didn't do was leaping part of River dance. Did he ever leap? Sorry, what? Didn't do was leaping part of River dance. I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, he's leaping. He's, they do everything. He's leaping all over the place. Are you talking about honey? They do everything, but move their arms. No, he does move their, his arms. He introduced our movement. That's Michael flatly's

contribution. I was stepped in. I didn't know he was allowed to move his arms. Yeah, he invented it. The first time he was answering, I don't know how he was like, don't move their arms. Yeah, because they don't want to distract from his great arm movements. This is the Lord of the Dance, folks.

Feed a flame. Michael Flatley. Could we also talk about that in the 90s? Yes. This was huge. Is this like part and parcel with the Gregorian chant thing? And the swing dancing movement. There was this moment where I was like,

hey, I'll, we're wild about this one guy that does Irish Step Dance, named Michael Flally. And everybody wanted to do Irish Step Dance. It was in one of those shows we did. We did a showcase and there was a part where my mom choreographed an Irish Step Dance for all of us to do in the middle of the showcase. Did you know Michael Flally is from Chicago?

No. Seems weird, right? Both of his pants are ours, but anyway. So he's an incredible dancer, but okay, what's the danger? You're set. Yeah, what is Michael flatly gonna do to you? What is the danger of Michael flatly? Well, okay, Michael flatly,

this is a stretch. I'm not laughing at this next thing, I'm gonna say, Michael flatly, is he grossed in his career. Okay. This next thing, I was like, Michael flatly is, he, he grossed in his career. He has done shows for more than 60 million people in 60 countries. This is the biggest dude on the planet, basically.

It has grossed more than one billion dollars. The Lord of the Dance, Michael flatly. He really is the Lord of the dance. He's the Lord of the dance. If you're not going to see, go back and look like old River Dance commercials. It's so wide. Like we were deeply into River Dance for a bit.

Me too. I'm not throwing shade. I was deeply into River Dance for a minute. Michael flatly retired in 2016 due to constant spy on me and foot and rib pain. Michael flatly has grossed over a billion dollars. So how are you going to keep spy on the infoot and rib pain. Michael flatly has grossed over a billion dollars. So how are you gonna keep food on the table with a Michael flatly who's used to a certain lifestyle, right?

Do you raise over a billion dollars? And now you've gotta support him. Except wait, now there's nine? Nine Michael flatly. 10 Michael flatly. Nine in addition to the original Michael flatly. So you have 10 Michael flatlies who have grossed $10 billion. None of them are working.

They're all at your house. Like, can I get you the noise too, you love? I know he's from Chicago, but I need to do this. He's from Chicago, he has Irish parents, and he has a British accent. Dole, dole, and I get the beers. Get me the beers. Oh, now Chicago, he's from Chicago.

He's from Chicago. He's from Chicago. Right's from Chicago. He's from Chicago. Right. I know since Okay, I win You win I do appreciate now you win. I do appreciate remembering the river dance. Oh y'all get into some like Michael Rachel can you put a little bit of a wild Michael flatly Lord of the dance carceral commercial I will accept Lord of the Dance or feet of flames or Celtic Tiger lie

I can see it Michael Srepple the Lord of the Dance okay go ahead listen we are running out of time. We have to go pick up our child from school. We have to blow through these last two. Let's go on the 11th day of Christmas. What you're looking to me? I love the virus piping.

This is obvious. These are COVID times. You can't go around blowing wind instruments in public. This is a huge risk. There are spit valves on those things, right? On what? Those are on the other ones. Not the wind instruments. I don't know what wind's. Woodwinds probably have spit valves on those things, right? On what? Those are on the other ones. Not the wind.

I don't know what winds. Woodwinds probably have spit valves. Do they too? Anyway, there's stuff flying, particles are everywhere. You've got 11 people coming at you. Pipes smoking is associated with a number of illnesses, you think it's safer because you don't inhale. There's a chance of elevated risk of cancers in the mouth,

including the tongue larynx and throat, and there's also an elevated risk of lung and pancreatic cancer if you inhale. All right, so are you saying that they're gonna share their pipes, or is this a second hand smoke deal? It's pipe, no, there's pipeers piping. I mean, it's dangerous.

Yep, how's it dangerous to the, you know, the person thing that's on? You think the people who identify their career as a Piper are going to be able to pay their medical bills. No, you're already bankrupted by Laura Michael flatly and his nine Michael flatlies. Okay, you're ruined by this. I think I win with their wind instruments blowing COVID blowing Omacron everywhere. Um, Omacron is actually very good. And it's going to save us all. No, don't we don't know.

12 days of Chris miss what you love gave to me 12 drummers drumming Okay, do you want me to come to mind cuz it's okay. Do yours is better? I bet it almost has to be uh when you drum You are hit you have to be in great shape. This is exhausting, right? Yeah. And there's, there is, you get exposed to what are called continuous hand arm vibrations, which they call them HAVS. Oh, yeah.

There's a study on this, the effects of this. And apparently, this is interesting. This is something that affects people who use power tools too, where the vibe, which remember when I started having so much like, price made problems when I started working, we're working, that vibration can be actually really damaging.

It can lead to a variety of musculoskeletal disorders from the vibration in the hand going up the arm. So some that affects drummers, right, where they can lead to a lot of problems. So it also affects like people who work with power tools and stuff like that, which I thought was interesting because I didn't know what it affected me, but it's that vibration can actually

have some deleterious effects. This is very interesting. But I would argue that while that would affect the 12 drummers who are drumming, what about the person that the song is about? How do you mean? The whole idea is that these drummers would be dangerous to the person receiving the gift.

Receiving the 12 drumming. Okay, so my argument is that the problem is anthrax. What? You can get anthrax from animal hide drums. There have been cases of this, obviously not a lot, but this has occurred. The first case that occurred in the United States was in Florida in 1974. Sounds right. There was a case of cutaneous anthrax, I mean, like with like a skin lesion. That was associated with a goat hide bongo drum that had been purchased in Haiti. And I can't live in the soil. So it was on the on the hide on the goat hide

that was used to make the drum. And then when you start banging away on your bongo drum, you get it, you know, get those particles all over you. And get on your hands, they can go up in the air. 12 of these people drumming away. All around you, anthrax flying everywhere. If you have 12 drums, one of them's got anthrax. This is basically speaking. I should clarify, this is incredibly rare. So please, if you're a drummer, please don't be stressed.

And it's only from animal hide drums. I don't know what else drums are made of. The judges have spoken, and oh my gosh, the New Yorker believe this, but it's only from animal hide drums. I don't know what else drums are made of. The judges have spoken and oh my gosh, the New Yorker believe this, but it's a tie. They say we're perfect tie. They say we're both very much in love and they're proud of us as what the judges said. That's gonna do it for us for this week on a solbona.

Well, we hope this was a brief respite from real medical things. In the meantime though, now that you're done laughing and enjoying how, I mean, we're just, it was just hilarious, I think. But you should go get vaccinated or boosted and wear mask and continue to be aware that not everyone has the opportunity to be vaccinated yet, specifically young, young children. We have one and there are others. And then there are, you know, compromised people who even if they can get vaccinated might be less likely to respond

to the vaccine. So they are still at risk. So be cautious, be aware, take care of each other. Right now, as you're listening to this, there is a new candlelight spectacular for you to enjoy head on over to bit.ly4tslashcandle nights 2021. That's what it is, but that Y4tslashcandle nights 2021 tickets are $5 with an option to give more and you're supporting Harmony House, which is a fantastic organization. A local organization in Huntington that works to help people facing homelessness to receive services to get them housed. And then I do free medical care there. But we've got another one of our sobans,

holiday specials in there continuing our epic saga. It's 15 minutes long. You say that like that's really long. They've been longer. They've been longer. We got special guests like Hank Green, Gene Graze there, Paul Storm, and Brody B. Dave Walters, and many more. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. But bit.aui for it's like candlelight 2021. Please please please please please it'll be available for another couple weeks or like another week as you're listening to this.

So please go download it and listen to it or watch it, I guess. And let's do it. Yeah, watch it. Watch and listen. Okay, that's gonna do it for us. Oh, thanks to TaxPatch for you. So there's a lot of songs, medicines, it's the intro, now it's your program,

but thanks to you for listening. That's gonna do it for us. Until next time, my name is Justin McRoy. I'm Sydney McRoy. And it's always don't drill a hole in your head. Alright! Maximumfun.org Comedy and Culture Artistone? Audience Supported

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