Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Babies & Bachelor Nation with Krystal Nielson

Episode Date: December 4, 2020

Scheana Shay and co-host Jamie Lynne are joined by Bachelor Nation’s Krystal Nielson. Not only are Scheana and Krystal both pregnant with baby girls, but they also are only 9 days apart in their pregnancy! Krystal talks about how she fell in love and what it was like being on the Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. How many hours did they film per day? How many dresses did they pack? Tune in to this week’s episode to hear the mind-blowing details! Special thanks to Kohl’s for sponsoring this episode. Scheananigans with Scheana Shay is produced by ACTIONPARK MEDIA. Follow us on Instagram: @scheana @scheananigans @actionparkmediagroupSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Vanderpump Rules to Vegas and everywhere in between, it's time to party with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans, and now here's your host, Sheena Shea. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Shenanigans. Last week, I told you that we weren't sure who our next guest was going to be, if it was going to be Crystal Nielsen or James Murray. And turns out both of them are this week, but you're going to get to listen to Crystal tonight. And then we have James Murray from Impractical Jokers next week. And I'm so excited for both of these guests, but also here tonight, we've got my girl Jamie back in the house. Hey guys. And new mom to be, Crystal. Hi guys. How are you? I'm so good. I'm so happy to be here and be pregnant sisters with you. I know. It's so exciting. I'm like, I know so many people who are pregnant right now,

but no one who lives in San Diego who I talk to regularly. We're both having girls. It's so exciting. And for everyone who doesn't know, Sheena and I are only nine days apart. Yeah. We're only nine days apart. So crazy. So your girls are going to be little besties too. I know. It's so fun. It honestly makes it so special. You always hear that like, Oh, I'm being pregnant with a friend and going through it. And I'm like, hear that like, Oh, I'm being pregnant with a friend and going through it. And I'm like, wow, it actually really is amazing to have someone to call and complain to totally understand exactly where you are and what you're going through. Totally. And for me, it's awesome to have a friend who's not only also just as pregnant as me, but who also is in the fitness realm.

Cause I'm like, wait, can I eat this? And I'm like, I don't want to bother my doctor. I'll just bother my friend. I was like sending her so many messages a couple of weeks ago Because I'm like, wait, can I eat this? And I'm like, I don't want to bother my doctor. I'll just bother my friend. I was like sending her so many messages a couple weeks ago. I'm like, okay, so when you do your protein smoothies, do you do this protein? And then do you do the green superfood? And do you do this? Do you do that?

And I was like, sorry. I was like, I won't be so annoying once I get like this regular diet. I know, I was like, let's jump on a call. Let's do a, we'll give you a free coaching call. Yes. Let's jump on a call. Yeah. Let's do a free coaching call. Yes. So we have so many things to talk about, but I figure, you know, let's just start with the baby stuff.

So I'm so excited to talk about it. Yes. I know because I was at your reveal party that you were really hoping for a girl. Oh my gosh. My heart was so set on a girl because like this whole pregnancy, I've been like, I had dreams about a baby girl long before I got pregnant. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah. What kind of like, was the baby like a baby or older? What was the dream? It was the baby was like in a bathtub and I turned around and was like a little baby girl

with like my eyes and like little pig tails that was like a little baby girl with like my eyes and like little pigtails that looked like papillon ears, which are my dogs. And I was like, that's my baby. And this was like, this was before I'd even met Miles. And what was crazy was like, her eyes just really stood out to me. And then I was probably 14 weeks pregnant and I was going through a really, just having a really tough day, a really tough moment. And I woke up from a dream feeling my baby move for the very first time. Oh, I still haven't felt her. You still haven't felt a kick? No. What? I know. Okay. Well, that would explain why my belly is considerably bigger. Bigger than nine days, you guys. Mine's just still a pooch down here.

You know what I think you're going to do is I went through last week. Actually, when I saw you last, which was a week ago from the reveal, good old Texas barbecue really helped me put on some pounds, and my belly just, like, popped. Yeah. Totally popped. I went from, like, blo like pregnant, like distinguishably pregnant. Although sometimes I still feel a little, yeah, a little more bloated. I keep telling Sheena that I think I just at one, one day,

you're just going to pop too. And then that that's when you're going to feel the little kicks and everything. I didn't, I have a daughter, Crystal. I don't know if you know. She's seven now. I didn't know that. But I didn't really show for the first five months. And then just like a little after the five-month mark is when I just popped. So that's why I keep telling you, like, you're around that time. And then I didn't feel kicks till probably like the last month. Seriously?

But they were really strong kicks. Like those strong kicks where you can like see their little foot through your belly okay no seriously they have been so strong so i felt them about two weeks ago because i felt that one initial one that woke me up in the middle of the night but it felt like i could feel the baby rolling it was a it was the craziest feeling and i think i was 15 or 16 weeks i was still like a little too young or whatever, not quite far along to commonly feel it, which more so happens around 18, 19 weeks. It's like really when you feel the kicks, you can in some cases, but I would say the last week and a half, the last two weeks is when I felt them. But the last week since I hit 20 weeks, which you're almost there, right?

Almost. You're almost there. Yes. That's when I've been feeling like crazy, like all throughout the day to where I like lift up my shirt and I'm like, can you see it? Can you see it? Because it feels so strong. And you can't, but Miles always jokes.

He's like, because we're both super athletic. Yeah. It's like, she's a little like, what does he say? He's like, she's a little athletic superstar. Something super cute because they both have crazy muscular development. Yeah. You're going to have an athlete for sure. I mean, you two might too.

I mean, you were super athletic. Yeah. I think she'll be a dancer for sure. You were a softball player? Yeah. So I started playing baseball. I was the only girl on the all boys team. Oh God, look at you.

And then I did softball. And then obviously Brock is a rugby player. So I think she'll be athletic. Oh yeah. I want her to be like a dancer and a cheerleader too. That's the route Ivy's going, my girl. She wants to be more of a dancer. I played baseball too with the boys.

So I got her the bat and the mitt and baseballs. And we tried to go out in the park and she just really has no interest. I'm like, come on. She's like, I want to do ballet. Oh yeah. This little one is going to be forced to play catch with us. I see like dads out here. There was like a son and a dad and then there was a daughter and a dad and they were playing catch, both of them the other day. And I was like, oh my gosh, I can't wait to do that for sure. You know, Miles and I were just the other day and I was like oh my gosh I can't wait to do that for sure you know Miles and I were just talking about this and I was just kind of like our now that we know it's a girl because we just found out and it just makes it just seem a little more real we're like what are our plans for her and I'm like I feel like in a way that they say

like through your children you get to like relive your childhood and I've been like really clinging to that and all these things I wanted to do when I was little that I didn't get to do. And I'm like, I want her to like sing and dance and be in theater. And Miles was like, but I want her to be like, go surf and mountain bike and be like a tomboy. She can do it all. All the activities. And it's so funny though that we have, and we realized like Miles was saying, he's like, we just have to let her do what she wants to do and just support whatever that is. And it's really kind of like that first lesson of, well, that and like the gender, like was

it a boy or a girl when you don't have control. Right. Right. And you're really just kind of that. It's like sinking in for me now where I'm just bringing this like soul into the world and whoever she's going to be is who she's going to be. And I just need to love her and support her and encourage her to believe in herself. And it was a huge like moment for me, like anticipating becoming a parent. Yeah. Well, what's nice is you can show

her all of these things and then she makes her decision on what she wants to do. But I do think, you know, one of the nice things about being a parent is introducing all of these different exciting activities to your child. And then, you know, like you said, you let them decide what they are called to do, but yeah, it's fun. Do you have any advice for Sheena and I particularly with birth? Oh, well, I don't know if you guys want to hear my advice when it comes to birth, because I did an at-home water birth, natural with midwives, Adula, no pain medication whatsoever. Wow.

And I absolutely loved it. Crazy. Honestly, one of the best experiences of my life. And I've spoken with other women who did that and they say, you know, it just gave them so much confidence to deal with motherhood after that. Because it's like, if you can go through that, like you can literally go through anything. Um, some people have like made it like, you know, I don't even need to run a marathon. I used to want to run the New York

marathon. I don't need to do that because I did a natural childbirth. Like that's the feeling of accomplishment it gives you. But I was telling Sheena earlier, I initially started out just like most women do. Of course I want the epidural. I don't want to feel any pain. Yes, I'm going to go have it at Cedars. I was all set to do the hospital birth. And then when I was maybe a little over five months, I finally met my OBGYN, the one who would be delivering my baby.

Prior to that, I was just set up with the nurses. She was too busy to meet with me. Wow. Yeah. And so I finally met her. And I was like, okay, so I don't She was too busy to meet with me. Wow. Yeah. And so I finally met her and I was like, okay, so I don't want to like be put on the IV right away. I want to try to like do it naturally in the hospital. And her response to me just made me feel really uncomfortable. She was like, well, we'll see how that goes. And like, she didn't listen. She wasn't

listening to me. And I came home crying and I was like, oh, I don't feel good about this anymore. And then I started researching. And I watched a documentary called The Business of Being Born. Yes, by Ricky Lake. Yes. It's a great movie. Have you seen it? It's a great movie.

It was eye-opening. Just about the whole childbirth in the US compared to the rest of the world and our stats versus all the others. And I won't go into all the details. You guys want to watch it. It's on Amazon Prime. It's amazing. It's a great movie. Okay. You haven't seen it, Sheena? No. details you guys want to watch it it's on amazon prime it's amazing it's a great movie okay you haven't seen it sheena no oh you need to watch it for

sure sometimes the things that jamie tells me to watch scare me so she's like let me tell you we were watching i was like wow these women are so brave because they show it all wow you see like five or six women like full on give birth up close with the camera. I mean, also a lot of people don't realize is that we have natural painkillers. So if we're not on, you know, the what's it called? Epidural, our own natural painkillers kick in. They take over, you know, and up until recently, women have given birth naturally that, you know, we wouldn't be here if that didn't happen throughout history.

So we're built to do that. You know, in the beginning I was all about home birth, water birth, because I have a big jet tub and I was like, this is what I want to do. It's what I've always envisioned for myself. But the more I researched it and the more like YouTube videos that I had personally watched, and then Sheena, I want to ask your opinion. Yeah. But the more I'd watched, the more I'd researched,

and the more I was just, really there was a moment where my friend who just gave birth a week ago, her sorority sister gave birth at home because of COVID had just happened out in March. And the baby got caught in the birth canal and died. Oh my God. And so for my friend, she's like, I'm going to the hospital because that was my friend. I don't want to risk it.

And so that really scared me. And then hearing them talk about the epidural and how glorious it has been, I'm like, you know what? It's my first. I've never done this to my body. I'm like, you know what? Tapping out, giving the pain medication. And then, you know, when we get to like the second or the third, we can like, you know,

I can go through. I want to experience all the different ways of childbirth. What about you? Up until being pregnant, it's been different for me. Like I've always said, like I want an epidural, a planned C-section, like cut me open, pull her out. And now I'm like hearing so many horror stories of like friends of mine who have had emergency C-sections recently and

how hard the recovery is. And I know it's, it's harder if it's an emergency one rather than a planned one. But still my mom's like, Sheena, you don't necessarily just want to have a C-section. That is still major surgery. So I've kind of reconsidered that. I'm like, okay, you know, if I can do a natural birth and I guess that's the way to go, but I definitely still think I want to be shot up with painkillers. Like give me the epidural. I kind of want to go into this, not having a plan. Like my only plan is we're going to be in LA in a couple months for the last few months for my doctor's appointments in case, God forbid, I go into early labor. Like my doctor is in LA. I've always planned on having a baby at Cedars and that's really the

only plan I have. So I'm like, as long as I'm in LA, whatever else happens, happens, but we're gonna move back up there in a couple months just for the end of this pregnancy for the full third trimester. I would feel better up there and take a couple trips down here and, you know, check on the house and whatnot. But for the last few months, we'll definitely be full-time LA because you just don't know like my friend just went into early labor she's five weeks early and she like wasn't even prepared and wow yeah like her mom had just flown out and they like went to Target the night before to like buy all of this stuff because she wasn't ready and they found out at her last appointment that her fluid was low and they had

to do um it had to induce her oh my gosh yeah so i'm just like you just don't know how's the baby doing um he was in the NICU um he was now like able to breathe on his own but it still had to have a feeding tube but every day is improving oh good so yeah but you just you just don't know absolutely and so the plan is I guess don't have a plan for birth but buy all the stuff you need get it at your baby shower yeah are you even gonna have a baby shower I'm definitely planning on it. I mean, we did the reveal party, which was all outdoor. We gave everyone masks. We tried to keep everyone separated. And it was just my family and like seven of my like closest friends in LA. So we did that. And I think I would probably do the same type of thing for a shower, like mostly just only family and then a couple of friends.

But I mean, it'll kind of depend on what's going on in my life in March. Like, you know, are we filming this for YouTube or what's going on? So I'm planning on having one because for someone who's always like not known for sure if she could have kids or necessarily wanted kids, like I've always gone so back and forth because I always had this fear of not being able to get pregnant on my own. And then that was like confirmed until it wasn't and I got pregnant. But there's like these games that I've always played at my friend's baby showers. I'm like, I can't wait. And I have like one saved that I've taken photos of. And I'm like, one day in case I maybe ever have a baby shower, I really want to play this game. So I definitely want to do something.

But we just, we don't know where the world is going to be in a few months. I know. We traveled for Thanksgiving and a lot of people were commenting on my post like, bad move as an influencer. You shouldn't be traveling right now. Like, did the pandemic end for you? Because it's still going on for the world. And I'm just like, it's so tough because there's like big life moments like baby shower,

gender reveal, holidays, weddings that are all like being put to the side or modified in a way because you don't just want to like give them up, especially having like my first baby too. I'm like, okay, how can we navigate and still like make this a memorable moment in our lives and to have that, to have that moment. Yeah. And these are the only, these positive moments are the only things getting us all through this shit that this year was, you know? So we need to still find ways to celebrate when we can and focus on the good moments. And I think it's just all about being safe, too. Like, you know, I mean, your reveal was very similar to mine.

There weren't that many people. It was outdoors. It was very spaced out. And I would just assume when it's, you know, close friends and family and they know they're coming to an event for a pregnant woman that they're going to make sure they've either recently been tested or they're feeling a hundred percent. So I wasn't even like nervous going to yours because I'm like, yeah, I don't know these people, but you do. And they're in your circle and they know you're pregnant.

You know, what's so interesting is that I was having some anxiety about the gender reveal because I was like, it is my close people that are coming. It's a very small group. And I was like, do I hug people? Am I not going to hug people? I'm a hugger. I am too. I crave human touch and connection, especially with people that I love and care about.

There's just something so special about embracing someone in a big, warm hug. And it just feels so awkward and uncomfortable. And I'm like, it was just crazy that I was even having to think about that. Do I not? Do I hug? And it was just so wild to even have that conversation. We were actually watching Elf on Thanksgiving. We just watched that.

Oh, my gosh. It was so great. I'd never seen the whole thing before oh my gosh but there's this one scene i can't remember like he just like comes through the door like walks into like a store and i'm like he doesn't have a mask on same every show i watch now yeah touching things and i'm just like our brains are now adapting to this different lifestyle. Right. And that's so crazy. It's so bonkers. And I was like, when are we ever going to go back? And will we ever go back to the way it was?

That's the question. Yeah. Probably not. Because people spend a lot of money on plexiglass. So like outdoor patios. It's crazy. But we have so many other things that I want to get into with you. Before I get to that, we're going to just take a quick little break.

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I know Jamie just watched it and you have a vlog about how you met miles yes but for those who don't know i got a little bit of the story when i was at your reveal i want you to tell us how you guys met and yeah just brag about your boy. So he's like in like the other room. He can hear us. I'm like, I'm used to talking about him, like not in front of him. Earmuffs. Miles, go outside for a second. You're fine, honey.

He's so sweet. So Miles and I had met in, oh my gosh, he's stepping outside. He's so sweet. I was only kidding. Time out. He is so sweet and wonderful. I feel like I can really brag about him. Um, but Miles and I, I will say we actually got set up from my high performance coach, Carrie Smith. And it was in May. She kind of came over and brought me some soup. I was like having just, I was actually on like bed rest for like a week

for my doctor because I was so burnt out and so, so super wiped out just from working so much with COVID and I do, you know, at home coaching and I was just slammed with work. Plus I was dealing with my divorce and dealing with the public, you know, the public aspect of that and really navigating who was I outside of that relationship, especially just being afraid of saying things or being mean. I was just taking a lot of time to be really quiet and just really poured into work. And so anyways, Carrie came over and was like, look, I have the perfect guy for you. look, I have the perfect guy for you. And he's not in entertainment. He's not even on Instagram. And he's like, you would just vibe with him. And I was like, look, I'm just really not interested in dating. Long story short for like three weeks. Cause we do weekly coaching calls.

She kept bringing up this guy, like, what about miles? Oh, a guy like miles. And I'm like, oh my gosh, Carrie, I'm not dating right now. Like I'm just not in a space. And so finally curiosity got the best of me. And I was like, okay, I just want to like meet him. And turns out I knew Miles's mom. And I knew this at the very beginning because we met at a retreat that Carrie had put on and Miles's mom, Katie, and I got linked up and became accountability partners. But the coolest thing was that at the Katie, and I got linked up and became accountability partners. But the coolest thing was that at the retreat, because I was telling Carrie, my coach, like, there's something about her that I like see myself in her.

I feel like I want to be like her when I'm older. I go, there's this crazy connection. And then turns out that Miles' mom, Katie, had been saying, Crystal reminds me so much of my younger self. There's just something about her. So her and I had this like crazy connection and we became really great friends. We would text each other like positive affirmations, always called and checked in. And so when my coach was like, you should date her son, I was like, Katie and I are friends. I can't date her son.

It's crossing a line. like Katie and I are friends. I can't tell you her son is crossing a line. So long story short, Miles and I met and it was just magnetic and electric. And on our third date, we were talking about having families and I wanted him because there's a seven year age difference between us. He's younger. And Brock's five years younger than me. I didn't know that. So I was like, for one, I didn't even know how old Miles was. But I was like, I just want to be really transparent. Like, I'm 32. I'm really looking to start a family in the next couple years.

Like, I want a baby in two years. Meaning, I'm going to be pregnant in like a year and like two months. How about three months, girl? Seriously. And so I was like thinking, I'm like, why am I even saying this? I've never talked with a guy about like serious plans with the baby, but it was just, I was overcome with this future that I saw with miles and it was just really taking me away. And so very early on kids were there and, you know, three months into dating, we found out we were pregnant and it was terrifying and

exhilarating. And we'd been planning for a family. We were actually going to plan because we were tracking my ovulation. And I was like, babe, on Christmas Eve, I'm going to be ovulating. So we actually were like, why don't we try for a family then? Oh my gosh. That was a week before we found out we were pregnant. And she's like, nope, I'm ready to come into this role now. Seriously. And so it was scary, you know, finding out we were pregnant, especially so soon in a relationship, especially me still being legally tied in this marriage and having this whole public thing around it. It caused me a lot of anxiety and worry, but ultimately I just knew like this was an incredible lesson for me to, to grow, to lean into love, to have faith in myself and miles and like my future

and know that like God gives us only what we can handle. And this can be an incredible story that I'll be able to share one day to inspire. I think a lot of women in my position and that really kept me really strong and grounded and confident stepping into this role of like motherhood and into my relationship with Miles. And we're so excited about the future. And yeah, that's pretty much us in a nutshell. Oh, I love it. It really sounds like you were brought together. And I love these stories when you kind of get together with a person and then you talk about your history and it's like all of these situations where you could have actually met at these other times. And it's like, to me, I just love like taking that as a sign,

like you were supposed to meet. Yeah. Did you know that Brock and I lived in the same apartment complex in Vegas? What? But a few months apart. Wow. No way. And he used to, he did this like pub crawl, like where he was like the guy on the strip who was like trying to like pass out like the wristbands and get you to buy this. His pub crawl. But he was at Planet Hollywood and I was at Paris. And every day, like I would walk over to like Planet Hollywood and get lunch. That corner, I was like, oh my God, where those guys stand. I walked past that. I'm like, how crazy if it would have been a couple months earlier, I might've seen you

in the elevator in my apartment building or walked past you the place that it was just like, it's so crazy. It reminds me of what is that movie with Tom Cruise where it's like, he sees the future on the little timeline and then things happen where it kind of veers off but vanilla sky no oh my gosh it's gonna drive me crazy minority airport it's oh my gosh I'll think of it maybe it'll like come to me later but essentially it's like you have a plan there's a purpose this is kind of like this destiny has essentially kind of been drawn out like you are meant to meet people when you're supposed to meet them. And there are so many little moments like the butterfly effect where it is like something very small changes. Like you decide to like, your friend calls you,

okay, sure. I'll go to this party. And then you meet someone, you get married and it's like the wildest stuff. And like, that gets me so excited about life. And that's what gives me the faith when hard stuff happens that it's like, Hey, this is all happening like for me, for like a greater purpose. And I'm going to like lean in and I'm going to show up for my life. And I will say that going through morning sickness, because you have not had morning sickness. I know. I had the one day last week where I did sleep on my bathroom floor for a few hours, but I never threw up. I was like, I was like, Oh, I can't. You're getting morning sickness. I take it. I had

the worst, the worst case of morning sickness. I was not throwing up until week like 10, 10 to 14. I was throwing up morning and night. Anytime I'd brush my teeth throughout the day, but weeks six through 14, I had really, really intense nausea. Sometimes I'd even leave my house and walk my dogs. Water made me sick. Crazy food aversions. I think a lot of it honestly was just the, so much of like the stress and so much anxiety was just really feeding into it. And so now knowing all this stuff, being pregnant and the importance of really reducing your stress for like a growing, developing baby and the mother to make it like manageable. But I'll tell you, like I jumped on YouTube and I found so many women and I just really appreciated those women who were real

about like the shittiest parts of pregnancy. Because sometimes you just see it so filtered and like, oh, look at my beautiful bump. Oh, I love my life. Like pregnancy is so great. I love being pregnant. And I'm like, I am not a girl who likes being pregnant. This is bullshit. This sucks.

This is awful. How am I going to do this for nine months? And it can be defeating. is awful. How am I going to do this for nine months? And it can be defeating. So I think coming through my pregnancy, I've shared a lot on my social platforms just about how the tough parts, aspects of my pregnancy, because I think that needs to be addressed more just like postpartum does, the fourth trimester, because a lot of things people don't talk about. And so you're not prepared for them or you feel left alone. And that can be very isolating, especially in the first trimester when you can't tell anyone and you're just there by yourself, you're going through it. And that's really, really tough.

So if any of my moms are out there listening right now, lean into your friends, lean in and trust the process. And my best tip is make sure if you, if you're like laying there sick in bed all day, like me for like eight weeks, watch comedies, don't watch political dramas, laugh, feel good, do things that make you happy and know it's just temporary. And you mentioned YouTube. And I remember eight years ago when I was pregnant, I found some amazing like hypnosis and meditation videos on YouTube. And in fact, the night before I went into labor, I was like, okay, tomorrow's my due date. I'm ready to have this baby. I put on this labor inducing hypnosis.

I went to sleep to it. I woke up in labor. No way. Crazy. Wow. So there's a lot of good stuff on YouTube as well for calming and it's free. There's a lot of good meditations on there too. I remember when I was going through the miscarriage, but I hadn't had the procedure yet.

Just that two weeks where I knew there was nothing progressing, but it was still there and it was the worst. And I went, yeah, it was awful. But I went on YouTube and I found some like really good miscarriage type of meditations. And like, I remember Brock walked in one night and was like, what the fuck are you listening to? Because it was like, it was very, very deep. And he was like, I'm going to just let you have this time. I was like, just let me, leave me alone. I mean, how could a guy understand?

Yeah. I want to say, how has it been with Brock with pregnancy? Because I found, especially when I was so sick, it was really frustrating with my partner because he's a guy and Miles has never been hungover. He doesn't get hangovers. He doesn't get seasick. That sounds like me. I know.

Like he's like a perfect human specimen. And I'm like, what? How can you relate? Like you don't understand. I was like, this is How can you relate? Like, you don't understand. I was like, this is so one-sided. Like, pregnancy, oh my gosh. And then I, like, kind of moved past that phase once I started feeling better, you know? Yeah.

But did you experience any of that? There have been, like, a couple times slightly different. Like, I don't really crave alcohol or weed or any of that stuff anymore. That ship's kind of sailed. But there are a few times that I can think of over the last month where, like, Brock's gotten really high or he's had a couple drinks. And I'm like, remember when you said when I got pregnant again that you were going to be in this with me and you'd be sober with me? Like, and I get, like, crazy girl-like hormones. And I'm like, no, like, and it's crazy to think just because I have to be sober, you have

to be sober. I'm like, no, that's crazy. That's not how it should be. But there was one event that we went to, not an event, but like an activity we were doing down at Petco where they had like a top golf sort of setup. And we took two of his friends who were staying with us and they all like got drinks and then they were smoking weed and like, they were just having so much fun. And I'm like, I'm trying to have fun too. And I was just like, I was just like annoyed. And I'm like, but he doesn't smoke a lot. He barely ever drinks. But it was just like, there were a couple times that I got so annoyed because I'm like, but it's not fair. We went to a comedy show and he was high laughing his ass off. And I'm like, it's funny, but it's not fair we went to a comedy show and he was high laughing his ass off and I'm like it's funny but it's not as funny as you think it

is and I was just like but he was like so I should be sober because you have to be sober I'm like yes but no I I know that's crazy but I'm like sometimes I just want you to support me and he's like I do that all the time I'm like I know it's just today and I was just like, I know it's just today. And I was just like, just leave me. It's just my hormones. Those are the hormones talking. A hundred percent. We've actually had the same conversation because like, we'll like go out with some friends and Miles will get like a cocktail or, and I'm like, wow, that sure looks nice to have a cocktail and have some sushi. And I eat some veggies and do all these things. And it's, and I, we've talked about it. I'm like, I feel weird to ask you to like be sober, but is it fair that, I mean, it's my body, it's my energy, it's my, my breasts and my vagina that are going to like be dealing with this and my body, um, my business, like

everything's affected with me. And I'm like, you know what, if that requires like you be sober with me, then I'm not going to like ask you, but I would just really appreciate it. And so it was me and I'm like, you know what? If that requires like you be sober with me, then I'm not going to like ask you, but I would just really appreciate it. And so it was just interesting having that conversation because I don't want to seem controlling. Same. So how did he respond? Is he not, is he going to stay sober with you? Yeah. So he, and it was like no big deal. And again, I just brought it up. I actually talked to my friends about it. I was like, I don't want to seem like weird or I don't want to be like that naggy girl, but it's bothered me because a lot of, and it's not just the drinking. It's that it's my body changing. It's that I can't show up for my business the way I want to. I can't go run a half marathon like Miles does. And he's totally,

like the men are totally unaffected physically. I'm sure there's emotional aspects, but he continues living his life. It doesn't alter or change. Sure. He's like anticipating like a baby in the future, but not like how a woman experiences it. Every minute of every day. Constantly. And that's another thing with men. It's like, I don't think they feel that anxiety until the baby is here. Cause then they're like, Oh shoot, I have a baby now but like with women we're carrying it for nine months we kind of already come to terms with everything because we feel it physically and they don't so I feel like there's almost like a delayed onset for the men when the babies arrive

and then the woman can kind of just be the calm one and take over you know in the beginning but anyway not to get too much into gender roles because i don't know and doesn't like baby really just kind of wants mom in the beginning because mom it's mom's voice it's mom's feeding and the baby just really craves the mother especially like initially so i have a question for both of you okay you have something in common um and if this is too personal to feel free to not answer, but I'm just curious, how do you navigate telling the ex-husbands that you're pregnant? Oh, do you want to go first? Mine was easy. So, uh, I mean, I've been divorced much longer than

you were going on. Wow. About our four year divorce-aversary. It was, oh my God, literally, we signed the papers on Black Friday. Are you serious? I swear to God, no joke. Wow. Yeah, so it's been exactly four years, and there was probably the first, maybe whole year, maybe a little less that, I mean, we didn't speak at all. It was not good. And then we ended up getting together one day at my mom's house. I was in a movie and I get a text from a 626 number, which is like my area code back home. And it was just like, Hey, it's Shay. We need to talk. And I'm like, Oh my God, Oh my God. My heart sank. And I was like, the first thing I thought of is like, who died? And I was just like, is everything okay? It was, yeah, I just think it my heart sank and I was like the first thing I thought of is like who died and I was just like is everything okay it was yeah I just think it's time and I was like I totally agree but then I'm like afraid and I was like I want to feel like somewhere safe but not

like he was gonna do anything to me but I just like was so uncomfortable because I knew I had things that I felt guilty over and I just wanted to feel like in a safe, comfortable space. Long story short, we met up, and ever since then, we've been on good terms to the point where he'll sometimes randomly FaceTime me with his friends, and like, I could text him right now and just be like, hey, you're doing okay. And so we're on those speaking terms. So the night before I announced, I texted him, and I was just like, hey, I said, you know, hope you're doing well. I just wanted you to hear this from me before you see it on Instagram or press or whatever tomorrow. But, you know, Brock and I are expecting again and I'm really happy and I just, I hope you're doing well. And he, um, texted me back the next morning was super sweet and was just like,

well and he um texted me back the next morning was super sweet was just like I'm so happy for you guys and it was really nice but he had also facetimed me after he heard I had the miscarriage and so for me that was like it was easy to tell him because we've had years of a friendship kind of now for you yeah that was a little too fresh yeah you know and like we were dealing with some kind of legal stuff like you know like really like near to when we made the announcement. And I was planning on telling my ex, but when the time came, I was like, you know what? It just doesn't feel right to message him right now. And which surprised me, but I really wanted to go with intuitively how I was feeling with it. And so, yeah, we didn't, but we have spoken since we actually talked yesterday and

he texted me, said he thinks I'm going to be a, become a wonderful mother and he's, and he's really, really happy for me and hopes that we can become friends and like be there for each other. So we are on really good terms and that was really free to honestly, it was, it's gotta be one of those lingering things that you may not realize as a stressor, but subconsciously like it's still there. Oh yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And just because of, you know, I mean, I guess we split 11 months ago, so we split like six months versus four, six months. And then I got pregnant or I got pregnant like seven months after we split. So it was like, is it, is that really soon? Is that enough time? It's, you know, one can argue both ways, but we're on good terms now.

And, you know, honestly though, like anytime I would hear an ex, like when I wanted a baby and I would hear that any of my exes were getting married or having a baby, that was always just kind of a little tough to hear, especially. It stings a little bit. It does. Yeah. Even like friends, I was like, oh, I kind of wish like that were me. And so I knew that it would, it would be a zinger, but we're, you know, best wishes all around.

Oh, good. So it feels really good. That's the best outcome is when, you know, they can be happy for you and understand, you know, it didn't work out, but this is the way it's supposed to be. And that's good. No bad blood. Even my ex-boyfriend texted me the day that we announced. He's like, I'm still on good terms with his family. And so my mom had let his mom know,

and whether he found out from his mom or saw it on social media somewhere. And he sent me like a long, like really nice text. And we didn't really end on great terms. Like I was so bitter because he just crushed me and I felt like used me and it was just a bad breakup. And he sent me a really nice text. And I was like, like you know what anything I think that I was still holding on to it's just like all completely gone and it just like feels good to have that it feels just light yeah just so much pressure was just taken off and absolutely because you realize like as you kind of go through through life and you have these relationships that end not on good terms, that stays with you.

Like you harbor and hold that in your body and they hold it too. And gosh, like when you think about the grand scheme of things like that, this year has taught us is just like lighten the load and really just like show up and be love and give love and, you know, receive love in return. Yeah. A hundred percent. So you're here with us on a Tuesday night. This is Sheena and my bachelor night. Yes. Every Tuesday, it's eight o'clock. It's about to come on.

And now we have someone from the bachelor world with us for our bachelor night. This is amazing. So I admittedly did not see the season you were on. And I was asking Sheena before you got here. So who was your bachelor? Was it Ari? I was on Ari's season the season you were on. And I was asking Sheena before you got here. So who was your bachelor? Was it Ari? I was on Ari's season, which feels like forever. It really does.

Wow. How long ago was that? It was in 2017. So three years ago. It feels like even longer. It feels like a lifetime ago, honestly. Yeah. A lot of people too had asked how we met.

And I'm like like I think you watched Vanderpump I watched The Bachelor and I think it was through Instagram um yeah I think well because I came onto your podcast right and I came onto your podcast I think we followed each other first I couldn't I was like I think it was through that but now it feels like that's been so long too that I'm like how did we meet exactly it's so funny i was like telling miles because like um a guy i dated i dated a guy for like four years and he he was the guy i dated before i went on the bachelor and we used to have a ritual we met in la and we would watch vanderpump rules and make vodka sodas and eat sour candies and like that was like a whole little ritual.

And so it was so fun like to come on your podcast and meet you. And because, you know, we love that show. What was your first impression of Sheena from seeing her on the show to then meeting her in person? Well, I want to say it connected with Sheena on the show because she's a Britney Spears fan. And I've always had like a dream of like having a music video or performing and so Sheena had like the courage to like show up and do that and so I was always like you know you resonate

with people like you see like little parts of you that you want like more of like drawn out so I always really resonated with her and then when I did the podcast it was you and your mom yeah I just had a great time it just felt so fun and just like, just so naturally effortless. Totally. This was one of the great examples of don't judge someone from a reality show because I felt like you were kind of like villainized on the show. Totally. And you're so sweet in person that it's like from watching the show and meeting you, it was just like such a 180. Well, what it really was is people said like reality Steve and some people like that were like, she's like the worst villain ever because she's not mean. Really what it was was I had a lot of like fears and insecurities, issues with trust.

And that was very much just puppeteered and played into. And I thought I had like self-awareness. I didn't, I thought I did going into that show. And it really taught me really how to become self-aware, but I really like trusted and leaned into the producers who were making a show. And I got played by that and played into, I didn't really know what was going on. And unfortunately it just, you know, taught me a lot about myself, but watching it back was really tough. And I remember just the making fun of my voice was a big thing because I was having a lot of vocal issues a year and a half prior to even going on the show. And so that was just like a

big thing. And I'm like, that's so mean to just make fun of the way someone talks or yeah, you can't like someone's like nose or the way they look. And I'm like, of all things, like really? Um, but I did decide, I remember it was really, really intense going through that. So much hate, so much bullying. And I was getting like death threats. Oh my gosh. Like my family was getting on. People were just saying awful, horrible things. And I'm like, you don't even know me. Like this is a TV show. Well, on that note, real quick, I will say my business partner is Jade Nicole. And she was like the villain, I guess, or the bitch on the Hills. And I was having lunch with her one day and Christine from selling sunset and other person. And Jade gave Christine a little bit of advice and she's like, until you get death threats,

you haven't made it. Okay. I'm going to go with that. I'm going to go with that. I remember watching it and there was this moment when it was a Monday night and I was sitting in my little 300 square foot bungalow and I, all of a sudden my phone, it was like 6 PM PST. So it was like 9 PM or it was like 5 PM. So it was like all happening on the East coast feed. And my phone was just like lighting up with notifications. And it was like snake, snake, snake, snake, snake, terrible, like emojis and terrible comments. And there was this moment when I was like, you know what? If a lot of people are saying the same thing, where can I grow from this? And I would like go through all my DMS and I would like message people

back. And I was like, thank you so much for the feedback. I really appreciate that. I'm just trying to like grow and become better. And I really took it as a way where I could, I could grow from this because the people were just going to say shitty things. Like that's one thing. But if a lot of people are saying the same thing, there's something for me to look at there. And that was a huge moment for me to really look within and grow and just see where I was so afraid to be seen for who I was. I was fake and I was trying to hide it and not really show the real me, but I didn't know that because I had been this shell and this armor that I had worn my whole life of never feeling good enough, never really allowing people to really get to know the real me for the fear that they'd reject me,

abandon me, which were issues I had been dealing with, you know, for much of my childhood. So to really sit and analyze and go through that on a public platform, on a reality TV show that millions of people watch was a huge moment for me. Um, and coming off the show, I really just used Instagram to really show people the real me. Yeah. And I didn't want to hide anymore. I didn't want to be somebody I wasn't. I just wanted people to see me.

So going on to Paradise that same year, I was like, you know what? I don't really give a fuck if I go home. I'm just going to like, I'm going to have fun. And I just want people to see the real me. And it really just kind of was a whole 180 and flipped everything. I think on Paradise, you actually get to see people's personality more because you'll get a certain edit that they want for The Bachelor for that season.

But then when you go on Bachelor in Paradise, you're not all necessarily competing for the same person. There's different friendships. Maybe you are a fan of someone who you become friends with or whatever. And it's just such a different dynamic that I feel like there have been people I wasn't a fan of. Like Nick Vile is a great example too, when he was on The Bachelorette and then he was on Bachelor in Paradise. I was like, oh my God, I love him. I want him to be The Bachelor. And then I like rooted for him because you just get to see such a different side to people's personalities on that

show. Yeah. And people are more comfortable on TV because the first time when they come go on The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, they've never done it before. Yeah. You get a little lip filler, you get a little Botox, come back to paradise. You're like, I got this. Yeah. You're like, I got the hang of it. And you just kind of know how it works.

And like after watching a season back, you just kind of like, you get the game of it. So it takes the pressure off and you just kind of like, you get the game of it. Um, so it takes the pressure off and you just feel more comfortable, but also in paradise, there's many men, many women. You're not all competing for one person and there's just more options. It's a very relaxed vibe and it just feels much more natural. Like how it would really kind of be, you know, just living on a beach in the middle of nowhere for a month, not having a job and everything provided for, I was like, I could get used to this. Does it get boring after a while? Totally. Yeah. Oh yeah. So how, how much of the day are they actually filming?

Um, you're filming for about on the bachelor and the bachelorette, they film about 20 hours a day. That's insane. So you sleep. I'm not even awake for 20 hours. Same. Honestly, you usually get about three to three and a half hours of sleep a night, no more than four. That sounds like a Vanderpump Rules trip. It is torturous. I've noticed something. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this.

I'm sure they have. When they're doing the rose ceremonies. That it's sunlight out? Yeah. Yes, girl. So they have been up all night or oh yeah oh you're up till we went home by the time i got to our hotel on the first night i got in my bed at 8 30 a.m that's crazy so you're up all is that are people drinking all through the night too? Yes, you are. But now they have limitations on alcohol so you can only

have two drinks an hour. Oh, I heard they started doing that in Paradise where they were like limiting you. They did because the season right before I went on The Bachelor actually almost got shut down because of a lot of lawsuits because of people getting way too wasted.

One of my friends was involved in that. Oh really? Yeah. And I mean, just gosh, like you put people there and they're having fun and they're supposed to be vibing and connecting and you give them unlimited alcohol. I mean, things are going to get a little bananas. Seriously. And then there's something, they're just filming it. I'm like maybe like interject or yeah get a producer in there but I was really scared because I was like the bachelor I was being cast and I was like oh my god is this not gonna happen it was like I guess what the COVID scare was for this one right like is it gonna happen yeah it did so what do you think of this this season's bachelorette with the whole

covid and all this the new protocols going on like have you been watching oh my god yeah i have been i'm not i haven't watched the last couple episodes but i gotta say i have been loving this season and i know there's been a lot of people have a lot of opinions about claire but honestly i love it all of it it. I love Claire and the fact that she found Dale and was just so into it. I mean, sure. It's like, it's a little soon, but I got to tell you, I've really connected with Claire over my situation with miles. I mean, there's the age difference right away, crazy chemistry connection. And I'm like, go for the younger men, like go and get it. And like,

ultimately we just want her to be happy to find someone. And you know what? I honestly really respect her because she could have stayed and drug it out a lot of time, wasted a lot of time. And for a lot of guys, and it could have been like a really crap season, but the fact that she quit the show to be with Dale, I think that took a lot of courage. And I honestly respect her for it. I love it. Oh yeah, I'm all about it.

She actually reached out to me to congratulate me for being pregnant. I was like, oh, thank you, Claire. Yeah, we're trying to get her on the podcast. We've DM'd, but I know she's, you know, busy right now. Oh, she's just getting all that loving in. Yes. So I'm really happy for her.

And I thought they did a phenomenal job with bringing Tayshia in where they're like, so the guys are like, we're going home, we're going home. And that was crazy to see the guys. Yeah. And then ABC's like, oh, we're only on episode four. So yeah, there've only been two two rose ceremonies and to see all the guys and to see kenny get caused like kenny was so upset and i actually really appreciated the guys

how like just forward they were and honest and not just trying to like save a face for cameras but they were really putting their emotions out there and i really respected and i appreciated seeing that that distress with them and then how they played out Tayshia coming. They're like, we're not going to tell you, just get ready. It's not over. And I was so excited for them because I've been in that position where the journey like is about to end. You just want like your shot. You want your moment to see, was it worth it? Was it worth giving up all this for me to have a chance at finding love and finding someone really special and, or gaining my Instagram followers out of it, but, um, just joking, but like you come in there like, and you just want it to be worth it.

And so Holly brought Tia in, I thought was just done really lovely. She's been such a breath of fresh air. And I know Tayshia and her and I hung out right before COVID happened. And she was telling me about how her casting process for The Bachelorette. And I was like, you are such a beautiful, amazing woman. Like you are such Bachelorette material. I'm like, I'm so shocked they passed on you. So it was really cool for her to have this moment. I love that she's divorced. I know, I like that too. Yeah, I love that.

This season has been so fun. And I thought it would be kind of boring with them being at one location. They figured it out. They figured it out. I'm like, good for you. I know. I mean, like the dates are a little cheesy. They're always cheesy, though. They're it out. I'm like, good for you. I know. I mean, like the dates are a little cheesy, but.

They're always cheesy. They're always cheesy. But yeah, I mean, they're just more like low budget cheesy this season. Yeah. But it's fine. Totally. Because there's more substance, I think. Yeah.

So it's good. It works out. You know what? One thing though is, which was really tough being on the show, is that when you're living in the mansion, there's 14 of you in one room in bunk beds in one, 14 women sharing one closet. Oh my gosh. One closet. And how many dresses do you bring? Oh, you pack six suitcases. And so that, I will say that was the most hectic, crazy part about living in the house was like, everyone was on top of each other. You

never had alone time. And at one point there was 28 women. So there was two rooms or like three rooms where they're divided. I was in the big room with 14 girls and then there was like eight and then 10 or whatever. I mean, they probably do that in part to drive you all crazy. Well, they purposely do that. And then, no, listen to this. See, no one knows this, but they hang really bright lights everywhere and they don't turn them off so even when you go to bed they leave them on like seriously oh it's so messed up so but so i'll say that watching this season i'm like all the guys because of covid they have their own room they're not all bunked up together and that was one of the most stressful things living in the house. I can imagine. Yeah. I need my alone time. Like if I can get just a little, if I can

carve out a little section every day, I would go crazy. I really would. So I want to kind of do a rapid fire of questions to wrap up this episode. Cause a lot of people sent in a lot of questions. Oh gosh. Um, they're mostly like pregnant related, so they're all, they're all fun. Um, favorite pregnancy app that you have on your phone? Ooh, I'd say, I think the only one I actually have is what to expect. What is your favorite pregnancy meal? Is there like one thing you're eating now that you didn't eat before? I'm eating string cheese. Ooh, I'm eating string cheese. I cut out string cheese pregnant. Really? Yeah. I would eat string cheese all the time. And then I was like, maybe I should come back on my dairy. Cause I mean, the pooch is the baby I know, but then I

was like, is it the dairy? Cause I used to have a dairy pooch. It was a beer and dairy pooch. I've been craving dairy and I didn't actually used to eat a lot of dairy, but it's been one of the things that's made me feel the best, especially in my first trimester when I was really sick. Cottage cheese with pears was like a staple meal for me. And I never would have expected me to crave dairy because I really don't do any dairy, but yeah, it caught me by surprise, but I'm like, Hey, you know what? I'm honoring this, that and cookies. What are you missing the most? You know, honestly, I just miss working as much as I used to. I miss having the energy to like put into my business and just that creativity. And that also goes in line with just the same stamina I

used to have in my workouts. So what is your business exactly? Is it online coaching and fitness training or nutrition? It's everything or what? Yeah. So I have my coach crystal online business, which I write my total body guide workout series, which are at-home workouts and meal plans. And I do 30-day coaching programs with large group of women, usually between 250 up to like 800 women do these little challenges. So I do that. I sell digital products. Well, I mean, you're gorgeous and you're in amazing shape. So anyone who looks at your Instagram would be like, whatever she's doing, I'll have that too. I'll do that too. Well, that's what Brock was saying too.

He had sent me one of your stories and he's like, this is what you need to be eating. You need to do what your friend's doing. And I was like, I just talked to her this morning and I was asking her about protein smoothies because I wasn't sure if I could have protein powder pregnant. And I literally read this entire label and I was like, okay, it's the like NSF, it's non-GMO. It's all these fricking letters that I didn't know what any of them meant, but I'm like, I think this is okay. And I had emailed my doctor and asked him, and then I saw that it's the same one that the garden of life that you have. And I was like,

oh, then it is okay. Absolutely. Yeah. You know, I would say like the big reason I kind of started my business was I wrote my first program coming off of The Bachelor when I was having that big moment of like, okay, this can be like my toughest moment, or this can be like the moment that defines me. And I step up and rise up and I wrote my first book and my whole business evolved from that moment of like choosing to like rise up and grow. And a big thing for me was I know really being younger, I really wish growing up with a single mom of five kids. My mom worked three jobs at one point, was never really home. Really just, we really struggled and we're on government assistance for a while to support us. And my dad wasn't a part of the picture.

And I really just wished and yearned that like my mom had a role model, a friend, someone just like who believed in her and was like, you have choices. Like you don't have to be a bartender at a bowling alley. Like you can believe in yourself. Like, let me show you how you can take control of your life and let me show you how to pour into yourself and give yourself some self care and feel confident as a woman. And I believe that out into your family. And so that's really my whole mission with my work is just, I want to be that resource and the tools to believe in women, especially moms. So becoming a mom has been so incredible. And I was the most excited to share with all my TBG girls, my Total Body Guide girls, my pregnancy, because

I've been there for them and their coaching. And as you know, it just, my whole, our businesses just evolve with us. The whole brand evolves with us. We're taking people on the journey of our lives. And I feel so blessed to have that for like a career. And I know so many women need it. And when I went through that first trimester, I needed those women who were real and honest and kept it real about the shitty parts of pregnancy because it made me feel less alone. And I was like, that's my mission with this pregnancy is I don't want to seem perfect. I want to lay it out there and be there for women. Yeah. It's important to do that, you know we do have a bigger following to put the good the bad the ugly all of it out there because so many people just sugarcoat it and

that's one of the I mean it's the biggest reason I talked about my miscarriage publicly is I'm like you're not alone like I feel your pain oh yeah people are craving craving connection in a day and age where it's so filtered. Exactly. Okay. Last question. First meal or drink you're going to have after baby that you're looking forward to? Tacos and margaritas. Spicy margarita and tacos. And I'm getting sloshed. Miles and I have talked about it. I'm like pump and dump that milk. Like we're going out. Yes. I was just thinking this morning and I was like getting the show together. I'm like, it's so crazy how, I don't know if I want to say that it's evolved, but where my podcast started and where it's at now, it started single Sheena in Vegas talking about magic mics and Chippendales. And now here we are three moms talking about mom stuff. It's really, we've, we've come a long way and I just want to thank all of you guys for

sticking with us and continuing to listen. Keep sending in your questions and positive reviews. We love reading those. Everyone go follow Jamie Lynn 24 on Instagram and coach crystal. There's some underscores in there. Boom. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye. Bye. Sheena Shea.

Shea FK. Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Download new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Looking fine and I got my girls with me. you get your podcasts.