Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Bambi Eyed Babe Raquel Leviss

Episode Date: January 7, 2022

This week, Scheana is joined by her lovely Vanderpump Rules castmate and friend, Raquel Leviss. Raquel opens up about her last relationship and shares her side of the story for the first time because she feels ready to get some things off her chest. Was there a single moment she knew the relationship wasn’t going to last and if so, what was it? On this raw and unfiltered episode of Scheananigans, Scheana also reads questions from listeners, and nothing is off the table. Is Raquel dating again? What’s next for her? What is she looking for in her next partner? All of these questions answered and so much more! You don’t want to miss this episode. For the video version of this podcast, sign up for the Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/scheanashay Follow us @scheananigans @scheanaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Vanderpump Rules to Vegas and everywhere in between, it's time to party with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans, and now here's your host, Sheena Shea. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Shenanigans. For those of you watching on Patreon, you already see who my gorgeous guest is. We're doing a little drinking and podcasting. Shall we crack them open? Yeah, let's do it.

And if you don't know whose adorable voice that is, we got my girl Raquel. Cheers. So we're actually roomies at the moment and I am loving this. Oh, I'm loving it too. Well, first of all, thank you for having me in this crazy time. Happy to have you. Yeah. So yeah, it's been a whirlwind. I know. Like I wasn't quite sure what to expect once James and I officially broke up. I knew my parents' place could be an option. I knew my friend Jenny's place could be an option. And also my friend Becca, who lives up north, could be an option too. But then once you approached me and you had the idea of me staying at your place for a few months while you and Brock and the baby were down in San Diego, I was like, oh, yes. Like, I don't want to be outside of L.A. Like, I want to stay here.

No, it's worked out so perfectly. We're in the process of moving back down to San Diego for, like, the winter and spring. So I'm like, our apartment's just empty. So enjoy it for us. Yeah, and it's so sweet to let me, like, move my painting. Yeah, I took down all of the canvases. For those of you wondering, I was like, Raquel, just know these are all coming with us. That was, like, a filming thing, like, owed to, like, season three or four, whenever it was.

I just thought it was funny to have a bunch of giant canvases of myself and Brock for filming. Because I'm like, people talk shit. And I'm like, yeah, here's a huge maternity canvas of me. I mean, they were beautiful photos. I love it. They're beautiful photos. But not exactly something that I need to see every single day. Yeah, so I was like, like no those are all going like the baby stuff obviously her nursery is staying but there's not going to be

you know a walker and a high chair and just toys everywhere that's all coming with us so I wanted you to feel like this is home for the time being. So I was like, you know what? Add some artwork, mirrors, pillows, whatever you want so it feels more like home. It does. It's starting to feel a little homey. Good. Yay. Mission accomplished. Okay.

So before we get started with, I have so many questions for you. Oh, I'm sure you do. I just want to say thank you for coming back on my podcast because I know the first time it was like literally pulling teeth to get you to do it and Brock has been wanting me to ask you back on it for a while and I was like honestly I don't think I'm ever gonna ask Raquel to do it again because she didn't want to do it the first time she already did it so I was like I don't know yeah so I actually was the one that came to you I I know. I said, okay, Sheena, like I've been thinking, I think I want to do a podcast and just answer your guys' questions and set things straight and kind of like speak my truth because I've

been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Yeah. And I think it's important to share. Definitely. Especially when a relationship like ours, James and my relationship, is so public. Yeah. And I know, like, when I watch The Bachelorette and I hear, like, I know.

Keisha and her guy broke up. What the hell? Like, why? Like, I want to know everything. And then you're like, Michelle picked Nate? Like, wait, why not Brayden? I know. I get so emotionally invested and then I'm like, oh.

That's what other people do when they're watching our relationships. Exactly. I'm like, okay. So I feel like I, you know. Yeah. Not that I owe you guys anything, but I do want to, like, talk about it. Yeah, they've invested in our lives. Yeah.

So I always do feel like, you know, we don't owe always everything because some things are supposed to be private and kept to ourselves, but we owe at least a little bit. So I'm happy that you are here. And speaking of setting the record straight, I want to play a little game called set the record. So there are a few things that there's been quite a bit of controversy about, and I would like you to be able to set the record straight. Okay. Are you ready? Yes. First thing, the kiss and the nose bump. Was it really a kiss and a nose bump? Yes, it was. It was, it was. And I understand the concern that you guys have because you've seen James be verbally abusive.

And he hasn't been there for me when I needed him to be there for me emotionally as well. So it wouldn't be that far-fetched to assume that James has been physically abusive to me. But I want to set the record straight that he has never laid a hand on me. He has never been physically abusive to me. And I just think that's unfair to him. So I know when we're on reality TV people we're giving people permission to make assumptions and make their own conclusions about things totally but i just want to throw it out there that that did not happen it was purely an act of love james came in for a kiss and he forgot that

he finally got that cast off give me one yeah Like I finally had makeup on for the first time and he like, I don't know, you know, he gets a little scatterbrained. Yeah. He forgot. Totally. I want to set that record straight because that's been something that's been bothering me. Okay.

Okay. Next one. Next one. Your shoes that you wore on New Year's Eve. I saw a lot of comments and I know you got some DMs. I got DMs about this. That they weren't real red-bottom Louboutins. Okay, let's set the record straight.

Yes. They are real Christian Louboutins. I'm going to pop up a picture here for those of you watching on Patreon. I actually got invited to this Christian Louboutin super sale. Jenny took me with her. And so I bought those pairs of booties for $350, which I thought was a steal. It is a steal, right? I can justify that. For those, totally. It's been years. Like I haven't worn them once. And I was like, oh, like this is a waste of money.

They're so cute. So I'm glad I got to finally wear them. They are real red bottoms. So I'm glad I got to finally wear them. They are real red bottoms. And the reason why you guys think that they aren't is because one of the photos in my swipe over slides, it shows the shoes not with the red bottoms. And that's because I edited the photo to take down the redness. Yeah. Because the photo was so blue, so red and so green from the lights that I was like, okay, I want it to be more like black and white vibes. So I wasn't even thinking. You took the red out of your red bottoms. I took the red out of my red bottoms. Like who wants that? So that's the reason why, but they are real.

And lastly, was it really about the pasta? Because so many people think pasta was a code word for drugs. Pasta is not a code word for any drug. It's not. It was really about the pasta. I really got drunk that night, I remember, because the next day I was mortified at everything that I was talking to Lala about and didn't really recall. But she did eat my pasta without my permission.

And that was the whole premise because James was pissed that she didn't have respect for me. So it was about the pasta. It really was. Let's set that record straight. So was it the angel hair pasta or the penne Sicilian? Honestly, I don't remember. I was, you know, besides it being a while ago and I was really blackout drunk. Um, but I'm pretty sure it was the angel hair. Yeah. Well, whatever pasta it was, I'm sorry to say you guys can no longer get

them at Sir because Sir changed their entire menu. Why? Why? Oh, literally, I went a couple weeks ago to take one of my girlfriends for her birthday, and I was like, we're getting dumplings. We're getting angel hair. We're getting sea bass. The goat cheese balls. The goat cheese balls. Everything.

There are still the goat cheese balls. They are different. They're not the same. But I was like, where's the angel hair? Where's the sea bass? Where's the dumplings? Where's my chopped salad? Literally it's completely changed it's an entirely new menu I was like who do I have to talk to who owns this place I have a complaint I know tell me I mean the food was

still incredible it was still a great dinner but it wasn't what I wanted I really wanted the angel and I really wanted dumplings yeah I miss the old food a lot I do too even like chef Joe came out and he's like how was everything I was like can I be honest I'm kind of pissed like it was good but like I'm kind of pissed it's just people go there for the pasta because I know I just wanted you to set the record straight on my podcast I know it was about the pasta because the pasta was so good. Of course. Of course it's about the pasta. Yes.

I think people just thought, like, no one gets this mad over pasta. If she ate your pasta, you just order another bowl of pasta. They're like, it must have been, like, the bottom of the blow. And, like, all of it's gone. No. It was like, it was like. No. So I understood why people thought that because it's like, who gets that mad over noodles?

Who gets that passionate over pasta? We do. Okay. We're cracking open these Mighty Swells, drinking them. So good. We wanted to do a different type of drinking and podcasting where Brock served us tea. And as we spilled the tea we drank the tea but he's in San Diego he's training with the rugby team down there and I realized I don't have

tea cups because I don't drink tea I know Sheena doesn't even have any tea bags here I'm like I know do you have some tea I do in San Diego and I do in Palm Springs I just don't in LA I think because originally we thought this was just going to be such a temporary spot that I didn't really make it super homey. Like all of the furniture is rented. Shout out to Furnish. You can use Cochina for $100 off. It's still good.

But I didn't think that we were really going to like get super settled in here. And then three months of filming turned into eight months of living here, turned into let's just stay and renew our lease. And, you know, hopefully there is a season 10. But regardless, I mean, I do my podcast here. I now just signed with a new company, and I will be going to their podcast studios, which are at the Pacific Design Center, like right by Sir.

So I'll still be coming up to LA but I'm like no we need to just keep our place and I cannot let go of Summer's nursery here it is so cute it's so pink and I love it so much you just put up over her little changing station is adorable it's so crazy how big she has gotten. Now it's like she'll crawl and then she'll stop and then she'll sit back up. And then today she's standing like on the couch. And all of a sudden she's standing like on me. She like crawls up me and is standing. And I'm like, who?

She tries to stand in the bath. I'm like, who are you? Big girl. It's crazy. She's the cutest baby ever. She really, really is a good one. We got very lucky with her. So, okay.

I think that was... Was that all of them? Set the record straight? Is there anything else you would like to set the record straight? Oh, there is one thing. Okay. Just because whenever people meet me in person, the top two comments I get are, oh, you're so tall.

Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I am tall. So I don't think that portrays on TV. Yeah. Which makes sense. Watching the Kardashians, Kourtney was so much shorter than Kendall and you would never even realize until they like stood next to each other. Yeah. But I feel like in scenes, it's so apparent to me, like, oh, like, especially when I'm wearing heels, I'm like towering over people. And people also think that James is really short, too, and he's not. No.

So we'll just set that record straight. Yes. How tall are you? I'm 5'9 1⁄2". Okay. Oh, and then the second comment is, you're so much prettier in person. Oh, dude, that is the biggest backhanded compliment I've ever gotten and I'm like I appreciate that that it's not the other way around where they see you in person they're like oh we

thought she was cuter on tv so it's like thank you I think but it's such a backhanded compliment I also remember one night I was working at sir and this woman she was from Australia and she looked at me and this is like season five. I was at my tiniest, but I was at my healthiest I've ever been in my life. I was doing like a carb cycling, fitness, diet plan. Like I was just really focused on my health. And I did just get very tiny to the point where I started putting fillers in my jawline and my cheekbones because my face was so sunken in. No matter what I was eating, it was like I was still working out my metabolism was so kicked in and I remember this Australian woman we were in the pink room I vividly remember this and she was like oh

my god you really look like you need to eat and I was like do you understand I just like kind of went off I was like I don't give a fuck about this tip right now I was like yeah do you understand how rude that is and she was like what she goes I just think you should eat more I go would you tell someone overweight they should eat less and she's like oh god never and I go then how is it any different that was really like fucking rude and that really bothers me because I did struggle with an eating disorder in college so for people to assume that just because I'm tiny I don't appreciate that and I guess I made this woman cry. So her husband comes up and finds me and he was like, can you go give my wife a cuddle? And I was like, I'm sorry, who are you?

And why am I going to go cuddle your wife? And he's like, you know, a cuddle, a hug. And I don't know if it's just an, I should ask Brock, like in Australia, do they call hugs cuddles? Yeah, and so he was like, he made her cry. And I was like, how did I make her cry? And he's like, she told you like you should eat more. And I was like, oh, that woman. Fine. I will give her a cuddle. But she needs to understand that that was not okay.

And I guarantee for the rest of her life, she will never say something along those lines because she learned that that's not okay. Skinny shaming, fat shaming, body shaming of any sort is not okay. Right. And the backhanded compliments of you're prettier in person is just... I know. It gets me every time. Thank you.

But I could just say like, oh my God, you're so pretty. Oh my God, you're so pretty. Okay. I do appreciate those comments that are like, oh, you're just as pretty as you are on TV. Yes. And I'm like, aw, thanks. Thank you. Totally.

Totally. But yeah, it's the other ones where you're like, it's just a thank you, I think thanks. Thank you. Totally. But yeah, it's the other ones where you're like, it's just a thank you, I think moment. Thank you, I think. So, we've got a lot of questions. Okay. And I figure let's just have this episode be

for the fans because they have a lot of questions. There are still a couple episodes to air, so you guys will still see the rest of the story play out of James and Raquel especially the reunion but for now for my shenanigans listeners are you ready yeah I feel like a lot of these questions will set you guys up for the reunion as well and we'll get into why simply Pluto 22 now that you are single what are some don'ts you realize you never want in a relationship?

I actually wrote. We got notes. I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I want to write these down because there's a lot. Yeah. I love that. I love that you are more prepared for this podcast than I am.

I got my screenshots. You got your notes. I love this. So, okay, before I go into this, I just want to say like my intentions with this podcast are not to bash James in any way. If anything, my intentions are to, I don't know, if someone resonates to what I'm saying or it feels like they're in a similar situation, to maybe reassess their relationship or go to therapy or, you know, do something that's going to help their self-esteem and their confidence and realize their self-worth. Yeah. I feel like

that's been a journey that I've been on for the past few years and pretty much my whole life. Those are my intentions. I don't want to bash anybody. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. No, but this is your story. Coming from me and what my wants and what my don't wants list is. I love that. When I'm ready to date again. Yeah. Definitely not. No. So I do want somebody that treats other people with kindness and respect continuously and not just for a means to an end yeah I also want someone with a good sense of humor I feel like since I am more of a mellow person I I like when people bring out like a fun side of me yeah so I love the fun Raquel side I feel like with all my dues it like applies to all of my friends all of my friends have the dues and like the people that I surround myself with are the people, you know, you choose your own family. You choose who you surround yourself with. So definitely this goes along with friends as well. Someone that gets along with my

family is a big one. That's huge. Someone who is able to provide for me emotionally is somebody that I do want in my life. Someone who's confident in my relationship and doesn't get jealous. I feel like jealousy is such an ugly personality, like an ugly character trait that somebody can have because it stems from insecurity. I get that. There could be a way to be like in the beginning when Brock and I started dating I kind of had like a thing going on with a girl and he was like jealous of her

wait you had a thing going on with a girl? you know who she was at Life is Beautiful with us Jessie's best friends with her oh really? yeah we just like we'd get drunk we'd make out I did not realize that

that's fun okay it was no it was just like, you know, we'd get drunk, we'd make out. Wait, I did not realize that. Yeah. That's fun. Okay. It was. No, it was just like we were both so done with men that we were just like, we're just going to be each other's whatever we need. And then when I met Brock, they were both very jealous of each other in a way, but not like an ugly way. It was like, well, now he's taking my attention from her.

And then he was like, well, she's giving something i could never give because i'm not a female so it was like in that sense i was like oh he's jealous but that was like the one exception flattering to a point totally but then when someone starts blaming you for their jealousy that's when it's not okay yeah no it's not my fault that you feel jealous. No. Anyway. Trust is super important in a relationship. Absolutely. And I feel in one of the interviews, the dual interviews that James and I did, and you did yours with Brock, and the producer asked us, do you trust each other? And James said, no, I don't trust Raquel what and then the producer was like

how does that make you feel I'm like well it makes me feel like crap first of all because I've given him the benefit of the doubt so many times and I've trusted him to go play at shows and I know that he'll always come back and like he's not messing around I know that in my heart yeah he wasn't but he wouldn't have that same trust for me and I think that's just like wow something in the foundation of a relationship that if you don't have trust it's not going to last 100 that's like one of the biggest things you have to have trust in a relationship with certain relationships like i'm not saying you should like always have access to your partner's phone but it shouldn't be a relationship where if you touch their phone they freak out because it's like what are you hiding

brock's phone will be out and he's like he'll go on mine to like order something on Amazon because we share a prime account. I'll go on his to like check an email for like a verification code or something. And it's like never been an issue when the person starts hiding things or it seems like that. It's like you can't continue a relationship that there's not 100% trust. no that's huge yeah okay moving on I want someone in my life who aspires to do better and to be better and if they do aspire to do better and be better that they're doing the work that goes along with it and they're they're willing to work on themselves I know that James would tell me, like, I do want to change. I'm like, do you want to change?

Like, I don't know. Is this worth even putting my time and effort into anymore? And he's like, I do want to change. I do. Like, tell me what I need to do. I'm like, well, you would have to go see a therapist and talk out your issues and come to the bottom of things and continuously work on yourself. And I don't know if I'm ready to be by your side when

you do that because there's already been so much that I feel like has been drained out of me. Yeah. That I don't know, my heart just wasn't in it the way that it used to be yeah that's understandable I think that that's more common than you would think that happens to a lot of relationships I mean I've been there you know I married someone who was my best friend who I knew since high school and it it just, after seven years together, it just wasn't there anymore. I still loved him as a person. I still wanted the best for him,

but it wasn't someone that I wanted to continue to be with for the rest of my life. So I feel like by you sharing your story, a lot of people can relate to that. And a lot of people, by you speaking out, it's going to give them the strength to leave situations that they're not comfortable in and shouldn't be in any longer. Yeah. Yeah. Or at least just reevaluate your situation that you you're in. Is it helping you? Is it adding value? Is it adding value in your life? And if the answer is is no then see a therapist yeah you know it's your best to get out of the situation if that's a possibility yeah yeah and I'm I'm not perfect

either I want to be better and I want to do better that's something I aspire to be so I started seeing a therapist so good I plan on doing the work too. Yeah, that's awesome. I love that for you. And I feel like, I mean, Brock and I have talked about it too. Just individually as a couple, you know, there's things that I think everyone can grow from therapy and it has such a negative connotation sometimes. And I don't understand that because it's self-help. And I think that that is so healthy. And I'm so proud of you for doing that and doing the work.

And I think more people should. I know Ariana is a big advocate. Absolutely. Yeah. I would like someone in my life who is aware that their actions impact other people's lives. And I feel like I've had the realization that like, I don't know the meaning of life but I do know that our interactions with other people affect other people totally directly affect other people you have the power to change someone's life you have the power to change someone's thought about themselves so why not make it a positive thing like I always want to impact other people in a positive way. Yeah. So just knowing that you have that power. Oh God, I don't want to read the next one. Okay, I'll read it really quick. Someone who hasn't given up on humanity. And then I want a selfless type of love.

Yeah. Yeah. You deserve that type of love. And I've never had that type of love before. You will. Your Prince Charming will come. Yeah. Because you deserve him. I mean, I'm not looking for one. No. But if he comes along. The best ones come when you're not looking.

When you're just like, nope, nope, nope. And then they're like, yes, yes, yes. And you're like, okay, fine. In my experience. So you'll be just fine. Princess Sarah 3 said you look happier and glowing, happier than ever. Gare Bear 1969 wants to know what is next for you. And there was another one from Joel Hauer who said you still want to be an occupational therapist. So I felt like those kind of go hand in hand. Yes. So the

next thing for me in my life, and this has been something that I've been wanting to do for a while is getting my master's in occupational therapy. And I know that that is like the best profession for me because I realized now looking back at my relationship with James that I had codependency characteristics where I was in the relationship for trying to help James become a better person and trying to fix him and trying to make him into my ideal you know even without me even realizing it because I always said I don't want to change anyone I don't want to change who people are. But then he was asking me to change. But if you can make them the best version of themselves, that's different.

Right. So I found myself doing that. And then I found myself making excuses for his behavior. We've got to do a reality check. I'm not responsible for anyone else's behavior, nor do I want to be. So anyway, I digress. The reason that I mentioned that is because when you work with kids with special needs, I feel like that can be something that's really rewarding,

especially for someone that does have this self-worth and self-value in impacting other people's lives in a positive way. and self-value and impacting other people's lives in a positive way. Yeah. If I'm like, you know, paid to work with kids and like help them at a very young, early childhood development phase, that's going to impact their lives for the rest of their lives. And I think like I'm on the right track. And if that wasn't enough, New Year's Eve, I right at the right.

Oh, my God, that was crazy. If that wasn't enough, New Year's Eve, I, right at the, right. Oh my God, that was crazy. Right at the countdown, this guy and his friend looked at me and they're like, oh my gosh, Raquel, like, we love you so much, blah, blah, blah. He was like, do occupational therapy. I'm an occupational therapist and you're going to love it. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. Like, what kind of occupational therapy do you do? Ped love it yeah I was like oh that's so cool like what

kind of occupational therapy do you do pediatrics or geriatrics and he's like I do geriatrics and I was like oh cool but he was like if you have the patience for kids definitely do pediatrics it's so rewarding you're going to love it just do it yeah like okay new year new me yeah like do it yeah I'm like okay new year new me yeah like focus on this career path yeah that is what's next for me so you've applied to grad school so or you're in the process of applying okay so I looked at all of the applications right now there's no open applications all of the deadlines already happen like USC closed their applications in November and they have a fall semester start. So I did call them to see if I can apply late, but they're the number one school in occupational therapy. So I doubt I'll get in.

I'll apply anyway. Hey, you never know. You never know. And then Cal State Dominguez Hills, which is 30 minutes from Los Angeles, has a spring semester start. And it's like almost spring. So their enrollment is already completed. And there's no chance of me getting in there. Damn.

And then La Melinda University has a summer start. So I'm pretty sure that their classes are already. That's not too far. Yeah. But I think their applications have already closed well I don't know if the application already closes I got into the college I wanted to go to the university I wanted to go to since I was a little kid but I didn't for whatever reason apply in time I had a 4.0 my SAT scores and everything were good I could have gotten in anywhere I wanted

to and I only applied to Cal State Fullerton and Cal State Long Beach because I went to cheer camp there and I was like I'll just go to college there one day yeah and then I heard about this scholarship that they were offering for Azusa residents to go to Azusa Pacific University and I was like oh maybe I'll apply for that but it was already by the time I heard about this past the deadline to get in to the university and I was like that is somewhere like I always thought about going since I was a kid and I was like I don't know why I didn't apply I was just like I'll go to a Cal State that's still a university and I ended up getting in so you never know deadlines are just deadlines yeah they could be negotiable

I'm gonna try and I've heard that um people aren't applying to colleges as as much as they were because of COVID yeah and also colleges aren't requiring the GRE some colleges aren't which is like the entrance exam the standardized test that you take to get into grad school so that takes a huge weight off my shoulders because that was like the main thing that was preventing me from applying at all. Things are looking good. It's going to work out in the end. It absolutely will. Yeah.

Everything is going to work out. And speaking of working, Mimi underscore Lost Coast Lashes wants to know if you plan to stay working at Sur. So I told Sur. I mean, no one plans to stay working at sir for like their whole life you know it's definitely a season there's a reason a season a lifetime sir's a season or many seasons yeah i was i mean i was kind of over working at sir it's just it's a lot of work yeah and when you're on heels the whole time it's just draining and the fact that they changed the entire menu the entire menu I don't want to relearn the whole menu like I just got to the

point where I'm comfortable naming everything recommending yeah you can rattle off all the sides and then it's like oh like now I gotta start so I told them don't schedule me until after the holidays yeah so I have a break okay good but I guess I do want to like talk about the days leading up to the reunion because I know all of you guys were shocked literally I mean yeah none of us saw it coming I didn't see anything coming until that morning because James was super pissy he was yelling at me and Sandoval asking us for a charger for his weed pen and then Sandoval's like I think I have one of those chargers I'm like I haven't smoked a weed pen in two years and then Sandoval's like I think I have and he's like then fucking get

it and I was like why are you yelling at Sandoval for like your weed pen like it's your charger like why don't you have a charger for your own weed pen yeah and I was like I don't know something happened and then you looked sad I didn't even think it was something relationship I was like shit is everything okay with their families something must have happened personally and then you were just like just wait and I was like oh shit okay yeah so the date like the month's days leading up to the reunion, I guess we'll say, because literally we broke up the night before the reunion. So hours before the reunion happens. But when I heard that Randall and Lala broke up, I was surprised, but then also a little relieved for her and then I felt this feeling not of jealousy but of envy knowing that she's gonna be okay she's gonna be perfectly fine without Randall and her you know she's she's gonna be an amazing mom to her baby like she's gonna be an incredible role model to her and make her

feel so empowered so I knew that she was going to be fine. And I was like, she's going to be just fine. And like, like I, I felt like I was in the place where I couldn't even reach out to her because I was going through my own emotions and feeling like my heart wasn't in this relationship anymore, but not quite sure like how to process that. So fast forward two days after the breakup of Randall and Lala, my friend Becca calls me and well, she FaceTimes me and she's like, Raquel. I'm like, hey, what's up? James is in the back and then she goes, Brian and I just broke up. And I was like, oh, I'll take this in the other room. She was like, yeah, it's just, you know, been a long time coming.

They were married for 15 years. Wow. And she. That's crazy. She went abroad to Portugal and had this amazing experience with her friend and she had a near-death experience on the flight back where there was so much turbulence and the you know all of the flight attendants were like buckled up and the pilot was freaking out oh my god I can't even imagine she was just like what the hell when she came back to the house and like things just did not change and he just wasn't

like embracing her the way that she wanted to be embraced she was like I don't want to be in this relationship anymore so when she told me that I was like Becca you're gonna be okay you're gonna be just fine you know like deal with what you need to do right now, but I know that this is gonna be so good for you. And then when I came out from the room, James looks at me and he's like, why do I feel like we're next? And I was like, like it took me so off guard. You're like, shit, can you read my mind?

I was like, no, no, no, no, we're gonna be just fine. Automatically kind of like reassuring him because I felt like I needed to reassure him and I needed this relationship to work so crazy so crazy so there wasn't like I know you got a question from a fan that was like what was the straw that that broke the camel's back and there wasn't one thing exactly it was like like a accumulation of things. At Thanksgiving, James has always felt like my parents haven't embraced him into the family the way that he wanted to be accepted. My dad like said some rude comment to him about him not wearing the hiking shoes that he bought him when James asked for my dad's blessing. He probably should have worn the

boots if he was asking for his blessing. He couldn't find them. I remember this day he couldn't find them. He was looking all over but you know James was taken aback and he was like what you have a problem with this? You could have talked told me about it yesterday like when we were having dinner. Instead you're telling me with a whole bottle of red wine in front of you finished. And so he took it very personally. He took it as a knock to his ego and reacted in a way that my sister says was not acceptable. And I agree. It wasn't just like very angry and defensive.

And it got to the point where I was like okay we need to get out of here let's go back to our hotel room we'll sort it all out blah blah blah blah yeah but I found myself like making excuses for him and that's not who I am you know like that was like part of my soul that was being taken from me especially when it's your family yeah or maybe not taken from me but I was giving up part of that yeah I know what you're saying it was getting to the point where my family and him were not meshing well and the future of Thanksgiving and Christmases and holidays was looking like it's going to be either James or my family especially like if we had a baby I feel like James would make my parents out

as like the not good grandparents and like kind of like put that in their heads just foreseeing this future and what it was all coming down to and I was like I don't want I don't want that especially because my mom is such a mama bear and she wants nothing but the best for me like literally the only person in the world that has no hidden agenda like does not want I know in my heart she just wants the best for me. How could I separate myself from her? You know, that just kind of like broke my heart. So it was kind of at Thanksgiving where I realized this relationship isn't one that I want to be in anymore. And because James does have a history of acting out and being angry,

my mom and I were both concerned that he wasn't going to have a good reaction when I told him. So I wasn't planning on saying anything until he went out of town. Yeah. He doesn't even know this. So my mom advised me to just pretend like everything is fine like just go with it I'm like mom like we have Disneyland planned on Tuesday like how do you expect me to go to Disneyland and pretend everything's happy dandy and fine and that's when Ariana was saying like yeah we just went to Disneyland with them and everything was fine but like I felt like I had to put on an act for that just to make sure that I was safe.

And Disneyland just isn't as fun when you're not in love with the person that you're with anymore. Totally. So it wasn't my favorite experience. But I'm so happy that Ariana and Tom came. Yeah. I know. I feel even more bad now that I forgot to make the reservation because it's the new way of Disney where you can't just go. And you're like, tickets are sold out.

I was like, shit, I'm sorry. It's a Tuesday, and in my head I was like, what if I get asked to do Watch What Happens Live on this Tuesday, and then I spend $600 on Disneyland tickets that aren't refundable. I know. Ariana was saying the same thing, and she was like, oh, Sandoval doesn't really want to go. And I'm like, you guys, you should come.

Like, it's so much fun. They're doing the Muppets and this whole holiday extravaganza. So I convinced her to come, and then she was like, okay, Sandoval's getting a little bit envious, so he's going to come too. Yeah. Thank God. So they saved the day but it wasn't until we were actually watching the episodes that bravo sent us to prepare us for the reunion where you're like starting to binge watch them on the tv and it was the scene when tom sandoval and tom shorts were having their breakup yeah and James laughs and he's like like why couldn't I have a funny storyline and I was like

seriously you could have if you wanted to yeah and he was like what the hell does that mean I was like oh just kidding like I you know I didn't mean anything by it and he's like no tell me like what do you mean by that and I, well, like you have control over your actions and you decided that you are going to make whatever storyline about, I don't know, not that it was about me, but it wasn't supporting me emotionally the way that I needed to be supported. So I explained that to him and he was like, oh, like I didn't know that you felt that way. And then, you know, the conversation just kept going and I was just like, oh, like I didn't know that you felt that way. And then, you know, the conversation just kept going. And I was just like, well, like it was like word bomb. I was like, yeah, what I've been feeling and I can't keep it in any longer because I feel like I'm I'm not being an honest person and I'm lying to you and I don't feel comfortable with this.

So I just told him my truly like my heart isn't in it anymore I don't appreciate the way that you treat other people it's not how I treat other people and a piece of me dies inside every time you mistreat somebody yeah so he's like what do I need to do like what can I change your mind is there anything like please give me another chance and I was like I gave you another chance so many times I gave you another chance and another yeah and that led us here and I'm just I can't no no and he was like okay I see it in your eyes it's over like damn and he was calm he was listening to me it was everything like I was preparing for the worst and it was the best possible outcome I guess that it could have been because he he really did listen to me and was understanding of where I was coming from and you know he respected my decision yeah and he was like

okay then if your heart isn't in it anymore then I understand we need to go our separate ways like what happens next like I guess I'll move out like he's like do you want me to sleep on the couch and I'm like no I'll sleep on the couch. I'm like, I don't know. We're going to figure it out. But, like, the big thing is the reunion tomorrow. Damn. And I was having anxiety all week because of this reunion. Yeah, we all do.

But, like, gut-wrenching because I was so horrified that I might say something, like, trip something up and like speak my mind where it wasn't going to put James in a good light. And I was like, oh, like, oh, like I need to be honest with him before this happens. Yeah. Because I don't. Good for you though.

No, literally, I'm so proud of you for doing this. The last thing I want to do is blindside somebody. Yeah. We weren't even sure if we were going to dress it at the reunion because we were like maybe it's better to just like pretend everything's fine and i'm like yeah and then just you know but once we pulled up in the car we were like okay we need to tell bill we need to tell production what's going on so you know bill told andy And he told Lisa. And that was it. And then you told all of us.

Yeah. And we were like. Oh, what? What? I thought even when you guys first said it, I thought that you were just breaking off the engagement and just going to, like, work on your relationship, maybe get a house, get another dog.

Like, I don't know. But it was just like, oh, they're breaking up holy shit I thought it was like we're just gonna do a pause on wedding planning even though you hadn't started wedding planning yet but like we're just gonna like not be engaged for now and just work on our relationship and then so that was just like oh wait what wow well yeah that's probably how I worded it right I was like yeah the engagement's off yeah we're breaking off the engagement and I was like that's like the nicest way to say we're breaking up we're done we're done yeah that was crazy literally so Courtney Dupo wants to know what has life been like for you since the breakup? It's been good. And the reason why it's been so good is because I've been surrounded by friends who have been so supportive to me and like making sure that

I'm fine, checking in with me, offering up their places to me. So I feel like I'm surrounded by people that love me right now. And things are looking good. So are you and James still speaking? Do you still follow each other? Where are you guys at right now? Yeah, we're still speaking occasionally. We're still friendly with one another. We still follow each other on Instagram and like each other's posts.

I want to like maintain I want to try my goal is I guess an ideal outcome for me in my head would be to maintain a friendship with him because he was my best friend for so long and it's really difficult to just cut that off and like pretend it never happened because really hard because it did happen that we spent so much time with each other and he was the love of my life at one point but more than that he was my best friend and we shared everything together so I think we're gonna be we're gonna try our best to be friends one of the things you shared together obviously was Graham so he is with your parents right now. Yeah. And I know that that was a graduation present so he is your dog you're

taking. Yes. Full custody. I will be taking Graham Cracker under full custody. Yeah. James does want to meet up and like see Graham occasionally. You know, my mom doesn't think it's the best idea. And I know you mentioned like Kristen and Carter shared custody of their dog. Yeah, I mean, they've been broken up for years and they still have joint custody of the dogs. But I feel like maybe in the beginning it was just like I think it was very difficult for them. But now that they're both in other relationships for like years now,

maybe it's just easier because they're just friendly. And it's like, it helps her if they, her and Alex want to go out of town. She doesn't have to board the dogs. Carter can take them. But yeah, it is still super fresh. So that's tough. Yeah. And it's, it's crazy too, because now I have, I have this room in my life where I'm

able to create these new boundaries for myself. So like, what am I going to allow this person to access in my life? And what are my new boundaries? What am I going to shut off? Because those things are sacred to me and important to me. So just kind of learning this new way of life. Yeah. And not only, like, learning but enforcing it. Yeah. Well, I'm excited to see it.

I'm excited to see the next chapter of your life, and I'm happy to be a part of it because we love having you around. You are literally such a ray of sunshine. Like I said, you are not overstaying your welcome. You stay here as long as you want. Allie.e.mall wants to know, what do you do to help with self-confidence because she struggles with it as well? I don't know if I have like a straight up answer to give you because it's something that I struggle with so often, but I pretend like Rihanna does. And I, you know, fake it till you make it till you make it. That's a huge one. But also just like put yourself in situations that you feel comfortable in. And then also put yourself in situations where you feel

like you need to grow. And that's what led me to pageants because I always had this insecurity of speaking in front of other people. Even if it was a group of five, I would feel like, you know, the pressure's on, everyone's looking and judging at me. So put yourself out of your comfort zone, but also be kind to yourself when you do mess up because we're all going to mess up. because we're all going to mess up. And I think that's like a key thing that I'm trying to hone in on on this 2022 year. Yeah. That's before us. I think being kinder to myself, especially when I see other people going through something and it's so easy for me to be like,

you deserve better. You're going to be just fine just fine like like I see that for you and I know that in my heart but then when it comes to myself it's like no I'm not gonna be okay things are not good yeah changing that point of view definitely in your head will help yeah Laura 3333 wants to know, how do you stay so positive all the time? I don't know. I think I was born an optimist, I guess. I've always looked at things like the glass is half full or looked at the positive side of things, which I think it's important to do. I mean, not that like everything happens for a reason, but I do feel like things happen in our lives that shape us into who we are. And we have to learn from the shit that happens to us.

Yeah. Life happens. And it's your reaction to that, that makes who you are as a person. So if you can have a positive outlook on life, you'll be a more positive person, I guess. Yeah, I agree. What it do Betty Boo wants to know. What has been your biggest struggle with being on TV? Like allowing people to judge me, I guess. Like trying not to care what other people think about me was a huge one. Because being a people pleaser the one yeah goal in life that

you have is for other people to like you and like that is such an unhealthy way to live do not your live your life hoping that other people like you because no matter what you do in life there's always going to be somebody that doesn't like you. So do not try to please anybody. I say this like I've mastered it. But practicing it and saying it, you know. Yeah. Do you. There's always going to be people that support you with your decision. And if there's people that don't support you, then that's their decision. And that's fine, too. Yeah. L underscore is blessed to be stressed. Who is Raquel now compared to five years ago? Oh my gosh. Raquel now. I swear if, if little Raquel is looking at Raquel now, I think she would be really proud. Yeah. We're all very proud of you. I think it's been a mission

of mine to like step in and be comfortable in my own skin and be able to speak up and voice my opinion and to be valued. It's always been a struggle for me and it still is. But I feel like I've changed in a way where I do feel like my voice matters and I have the ability to positively impact other people. I have grown so much. Yeah, you really have. I remember like when we first met and that feels like so long ago and to see like the woman you've become and are becoming and I just like can't wait to see the rest of your life and your journey and you're on such a good path.

And I'm so happy for you. Thanks. So what is one piece of advice that you just want to give to any other man or woman struggling with, you know, self-confidence, insecurities, being in a situation that they don't feel right, what's one thing that you want to just say to them? I would say therapy is a really good idea. I just started therapy, so I can't testify, but I've heard really great things about it. It helps to talk it out. It helps also to reflect on yourself and to realize why you feel a certain way.

Why do you feel insecure about this thing in your life? And it usually stems from your childhood or some experience that you've had in the past that has shaped you into who you are now and also your thought process. If you change the way you think about things, it's going to help you in the best way yeah i love that well thanks for doing my show again and getting into some shenanigans with me cheers to you before we go can you take us out with a little toast oh no okay here's to bettering ourselves yes to wanting the best

in ourselves and others and to a fantastic 2022 hell yeah happy new year cheers to us

thanks for listening guys bye Sheena Shea Shea FK thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea download new episodes

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