Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Compartmentalizing with Cortney

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

Scheana is joined by her sister Cortney on this week’s episode of Scheananigans! Scheana opens up about something that has really been bothering her lately and even gets a little emotional about it on air. Next, the girls discuss something that they’ve both struggled with… Anxiety. Cortney talks about what having anxiety has been like for her and how she manages it.  She also shares a method she discovered on social media called compartmentalizing and how it has helped her tremendously! How does it work? When can you use it? Tune in now to find out so you can start implementing it in your life today! Follow us: @scheananigans @scheanaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Vanderpump Rules to Vegas and everywhere in between, it's time to party with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans, and now here's your host, Sheena Shea. What's up everyone? Getting into some shenanigans with my little sis today doing a special drinking and podcasting. Hi guys. Hey, so I want to talk to you about anxiety and compartmentalizing and all of that on this episode. But before we do that, and answer all of your questions, I wanted to give y'all a little update because I've been a little sad this week. Yeah. So summer has decided to grow up and stop latching onto my boob. It has officially been a week and I am so sad about it. But tell them why. Why did it happen?

So I posted last week and asked my moms if any of them had this happen. And I got a lot of responses. Summer's teething. She now has her two bottom teeth. They're so cute. But last week I was nursing her and she just bit down hard. It hurt. I screamed. I didn't mean to, but you know, when your nipple gets bit, that's just kind of the reaction. So I was like, ah, and all of a sudden, poor thing, she gets like so scared. I just see her like bottom lip drop and she was just like, I was like, it's okay. It's okay. And I like put her back on for a few, but I think I might've traumatized her. I feel like after that happened, she was just like, no ma'am, I'm good. Didn't you always say though, that this is probably around the time that you're

going to stop breastfeeding? I think the time has just come. I know. And here's the thing. I'm like, did I manifest this? Yeah. Because I've said, I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to make the decision to stop breastfeeding because I have been beyond blessed with how easy that part of my journey has been. Obviously, I had a lot of complications in labor and whatnot, but I've been very blessed that breastfeeding has been an easy journey for me. So I'm like, I know so many moms who have had just such a hard time with it that I just feel so lucky that I've even been able to do this for seven months. I feel like I'm gonna get emotional, but I'm like, because it's been so easy, how am I going to stop? Like, I don't want to wish to just dry up,

but like, how am I going to know when to stop? Well, that's why I feel like this is almost making it easier for you that summer is making the decision for you. I think it's going to be such an easier transition with her already like weaning herself off rather than like forcing it on her because I know a lot of those responses on Instagram a lot of people are like just keep offering it like it'll start up again I get how that could have like you'd probably do that if that was months ago you know she was a little bit younger but maybe it's a good time to just like I I know. I mean, I've hit my goal. My goal was six months, but I said, I really want to do it for a year. I couldn't really see past a year. I mean, when she's walking,

if she's walking up to my boob, like I was just like, I don't know. I don't think that's for me, but I wanted to provide breast milk for her for a year. So for the last week, I've just been a cow just pumping. And I keep trying every day, night and she's just like no ma'am I'm good and I'm like maybe I manifested this wait how long do babies drink milk for like when do they just go all on food I don't know but I know the first year is all of their nutrients come from breast milk because I see the way that she looks at you when you're eating at a restaurant and it looks like she wants food and food only oh totally it totally. It's kind of sad. You're like eating in front of her and I think it's kind of rude. I know, right? She's like, can I have some? I mean,

we do have her on solids now. She's getting food. We're trying different foods. We just gave her peanut butter the other day because we have to try the like allergen foods and also we're supposed to do some shellfish soon. So what do you do if she does react? Like they prep you with that? No. I didn't think of it. Here's your shellfish and your peanut butter baby. It's like, then what? I don't know. Do they maybe just not have as severe of a reaction as babies? I don't know. Honestly, the doctor didn't tell us. He just said that we need to try eggs, like different dairy, shellfish, peanuts, and like berries. So, um, yeah, I don't, I think before we try another allergen food, I'm going to look that up because I just was assuming she would be fine. And she was thankfully, but Oh my God,

what would we have done if she had a reaction? Yeah. We know CPR. We don't have an EpiPen or EpiPens even safe for infants. Like, I don't know what to do. My first kid. I don't know. That's been my week with the baby. It's been emotional because I'm like, there's just that bond. But then I'm like, I don't know, I guess she's just growing up. And a lot of the moms I posted and asked for questions said it could just be a phase. It could be teething that she has to kind of like learn how to latch a different way when she has teeth well I would think imagine how weird that is like you're a baby you just have gums like everything's been the same for like six months and all of a sudden you have these things growing in your mouth like that'd be so confusing I wouldn't know what to do either

I know yeah also a lot of moms said you scared her and well don't blame yourself I do though because it was um what is it she didn't know any better I know but like she was just I don't know so yeah anyways that's been my week it's been sad but we have an exciting week coming up we are going to Hawaii. So excited. What time? Well, you went this past year, but the last time I was in Hawaii was in December of 2019. Okay, that was when we went with Brock. And that was really the first time I had ever really hung out with Brock. I don't know if I've ever talked about this. No. But like, I mean, that was like my big first impression of him because we were like finally

hanging out together. We're all staying together. And I wasn't too sure what I thought about him because like I'm the big personality like contrary to prior wait what is it contrary to something belief that's what I'm trying to say you know contrary to popular belief popular belief contrary to popular belief like you would think she would be the big personality I think I am the big personality I think we both are we're just we're very different I'm the big nice personality you're the big bitch personality so when Brock came around he's just such a big personality oh yeah I think there's a little We're just, we're very different. I'm the big nice personality. You're the big bitch personality. So when Brock came around, he's just such a big personality. I'm like, I think there's a little bit of a battle here, like a little ego battle or

something. But then in Hawaii, and this isn't something like anyone would normally do in Hawaii. We did an escape room. Do you remember this? Yes, I do. And this is where we realized that I'm much more similar to your boyfriend and you're much more similar to mine. And that's when I realized, oh my God, Brock kind of gets on my nerves because I am Brock and then I

was like okay I I know how to deal with me so I'll be able to deal with Brock and now there's just so many things that Brock and I agree on that you and Justice my boyfriend totally and it's just so funny I was like it was that escape room in Hawaii that me and Brock were like the doers and then you and Justice were like the sidekicks yeah I was like can you just like that me and Brock were like the doers and then you and Justice were like the sidekicks. Yeah I was like can you just like tell me what to do like do I actually have to figure out this mathematical equation right now like it's just escape rooms not my thing. And just why did we do that in Hawaii that was so random. I have no idea. I think it was like really late you know in Maui it's kind of like a resort kind of like honeymoon spot that yeah everything closes pretty early that we were like what should we do oh my god I almost forgot

about that but yeah that was one of the first times you guys really like got to know each other and I think we escaped right it was like out of a prison cell we did yeah thanks to you and Brock no justice and I were just like chilling I think I was like eating snacks at one point that I had in my backpack. I was like, I don't want to do this. You guys would die in the scary movie. You guys would not escape. Oh, for sure. I would definitely be the damsel in distress, just like dragging my half dead body like across the fucking forest. For sure. Yeah. So that was Hawaii. Yeah. I don't know if we'll do another escape room, but let's talk about what you guys are going to do. Okay.

So something that me and Jess has planned that Brock is going to join us is- You know, he thought that I was coming. I still think you should come. He just assumed. And I was like, absolutely fucking not. I would rather jump out of an airplane or jump off a building. We are swimming with sharks, like cageless. We are just going into the open ocean and swimming with sharks.

I mean, I do understand if you're like, oh, like, if something happens to one of Summer's parents, I don't want it to happen to both of us. But if you're willing to go skydiving, I guess it has nothing to do with Summer. Here's the thing. I wouldn't actually skydive now that I'm a mom. That's one of the things that was on my, like, life bucket list that I wished I already did because I said, I know when I have kids one day I'm not gonna do that I would still probably jump off a building because you're like attached to it and like you like rappel down yeah and I've jumped off buildings several times so I would probably still do that but I'm like honey literally I would rather jump off a building jump off a bridge jump out of something because I would rather skydive than swim with sharks. You know not all sharks are bad. You're giving them a really bad reputation. I just don't want to swim with them.

I also am claustrophobic underwater. Really bad. I think we need to find a new word for that because I don't think claustrophobic is the right word. I feel trapped in a confined small space, even in a large open ocean. I feel like, oh my God, I can't breathe. It's just like everything, like the walls closing in on me.

There's no walls. I know, but that's what I feel like how you feel when you're claustrophobic. That's how I feel underwater. I don't know how to describe it. And I'm not, but I know like if I'm stuffed, not even necessarily, like mom's really afraid of elevators. And I think she's like instilled that a little bit on me and uh elevators don't really bother me but when I'm crammed in a group of people whether it is in an elevator at a concert and there's just like a ton of people and I'm like

oh this is just like too much like I just it's like claustrophobic so I know when I'm underwater it's like that feeling on steroids and the first time I went snorkeling I just had to stay above the water and I was like like okay it's too much water no I don't I did as a kid and then I think when I like had a really bad surfing experience and I got taken out by a wave and went under and felt like I as much as I am a good I'm in decent swimmer, I felt like I was going to drown. I like hit, I don't know what part of my body it was on some coral and it was terrifying. And ever since then, and then there was another time before that actually that I got thrown off a sea dew and flew, I don't know how many feet, I don't know, hundreds. I have no idea. Are you sure? That's a lot. It was a lot of feet. Okay. It was really far. It wasn't like 10 feet. It was maybe say 50. Okay. But I was on it with

uncle Marty and one of my girlfriends and I was driving and I was like, yeah, big wave. I'm like, I don't know, 13, 14, maybe. Were you plugged in? What do you mean plugged in? You know how you attach it. So obviously if you fall off, it stops going. off it stops going um yes okay so yeah so i'm driving it i go as fast as i can hit a big wave and it just like crashed we all go flying off so far i remember i had just started wearing contacts and like my eye was bleeding and my contact came out so i'm half blind yeah i'm like i can't see there was like a boat that like came and like had to like rescue us thankfully i I had like a life jacket, but I swear it felt like a hundred feet. I don't know. It was really far. But so those two water experiences, like now when I'm on a sea deal, I'm like, okay, just go over the wave, like slow. And I'm a little scared of it.

But, um, yeah, that first time snorkeling, it was like, I really had to talk to myself and just be like, you are okay. You are above water. You are not going to drown. You can breathe. And it was like I just was like swimming on the surface. And I'm like, oh, cool. There's a turtle. And I did it again.

I think I've done it with like every guy I've dated because they want to go snorkeling in Hawaii. And as we all know, I like to take my men to Hawaii. So I have done it I think now three times. You're just done with it? And I'm just good. So I have done it, I think, now three times. You're just done with it? And I'm just good. So I don't know why I would want to swim with sharks. Yeah. Well, if it makes you feel any better, if there's any way that you would waver your opinion,

you're way more likely to die in a car accident. Oh, I know that. And you go into a car every day. It's not even that I'm afraid of dying or getting eaten by a shark. You just don't want to feel that claustrophobic feeling. They're like reef sharks? Yeah, I think nurse sharks. I don't know what the difference with any kind of shark is. A shark's a shark. They are like reef sharks or yeah I think nurse sharks I don't know what the difference with any kind of shark is a shark's a shark they eat like fish and like krill

okay they're like whales gotcha but um just more of the underwater aspect and I didn't even realize that it's more like you're snorkeling with sharks yeah I thought like deep diving like scuba yeah we're not that I'm like I'm not doing that it's just like free diving so it's like I'm sure justice and brock will like swim down like 10 and I can't even do that like I end up sucking in the water instead of blowing out and I'm terrible at it yeah no water's not for you no it's one of those things that gives me anxiety yeah so speaking of anxiety like tell them how we were talking about this at dinner the other night and that's how it got brought up. Exactly. But before we get into that, I'm just going to take a little break. We spend one third of our lives in bed. So pure organic cotton sheets from Bowling Branch make a truly special gift. And it doesn't just have to be a Christmas gift for the holidays.

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promo code Shay. Exclusions may apply. Okay. So yeah, the other night at dinner, we got into a really interesting conversation and I was like, wait, I think we need to podcast about that, about anxiety compartmentalizing. There's a lot that I want to get into about that, but how did it get brought up? I think I was talking to your friend, Ryan, who was at dinner with us. And I would think I was teaching him some like different tactics and things that I do to like help with intrusive thoughts. And Oh, we were talking about OCD right okay and that's kind of how it got brought up so um I by no means some any expert on anxiety but I feel like it works for you yeah I've had anxiety for probably like 10 years I feel like as long as I can remember really

and these are just like different things that I've learned are ways to like cope with it and not treat it necessarily but definitely ways to like cope with it. Um, so yeah, we were talking about OCD and I've definitely had OCD since I was so young. I'm sure you remember it. Like mom would tell me that like my obsessive compulsions were so bad when I was younger that I would wash my hands like obsessively to the point where my hands would like crack and bleed. I don't know why. I don't remember that, but she remembers that. I feel like maybe I do remember that. Yeah. So I've noticed now, I think I don't have the OCD like compulsions anymore. I have more of just the obsessive thoughts, which kind of like turns into anxiety. So when you, me and Ryan were talking about obsessive thoughts, I was like, oh, there's

a couple of things I do when I have super obsessive thoughts. And one thing I've really taught myself to do is compartmentalization. And what works for me is that I literally take that subject that topic that that obsessive thought that worry whatever it is that's on my mind and sometimes it's as simple as like just something that's obsessive like this could work for like a song that's stuck in your head and I imagine literally like taking this topic whatever and I picture like squeezing it into like a small space and I put it in a box. I think of a jewelry box, not like a cardboard box, but that's just what it looks like in my mind. And I close the

jewelry box and then I literally swallow, like I literally physically swallow. And I imagine the box like going down inside of me. And I've gotten so good at this tactic that I will forget what I just forgot about. Like it doesn't even come back. And this is something that I've gotten so good at this tactic that I will forget what I just forgot about. It doesn't even come back. This is something that I've worked on for years, and I'm sure therapists and professionals can teach you better ways to do this, but that's my method. I put things in the box, I close the box, and I literally swallow the box.

That's one way that I've literally been able to forget about things for days to weeks at a time. How old were you, would you say, when like the OCD started? I think I had OCD throughout my entire childhood. And then I think as I went into like middle and high school, that kind of turned more into like anxiety where I was actually like experiencing anxiety attacks and not knowing what they were. And like, I always just thought I was worried and people would call me like a worry wart and I didn't understand that this was actually something that like is a valid thing that I was experiencing like I remember my heart would my heart would race like

and I would feel so nauseous and like dizzy all of a sudden and I didn't know what was physically making me feel this way because like I feel like anxiety wasn't something that was taught in school or anything like everything I've learned about it and everything I've learned about mental health as a whole is stuff that I've learned from social media and doing my own research so I remember I remember when my first anxiety attacks actually I was like outside of this radio station about to meet a band that I liked and I remember almost throwing up on the sidewalk and I didn't understand how I felt so sick so suddenly. And then that's when I realized, I was like, oh my God, this is anxiety. Like I was just anxious.

And that's like, obviously to a specific scenario, but I get random anxiety all the time about nothing. Like literally- Like your food anxiety. Yeah, I also have food anxiety. I have so many problems, but yeah, similar to my food anxiety. So I've had that since I was a child too.

So a little backstory on that was when I was younger, I really got like I would never throw up or anything so there was one specific time when I was in elementary school that I did throw up I had a little stomach virus and it scared me so much probably like summer latching onto your boob it scared me so much that I was scared to eat again and I didn't eat for like an entire year and I guess like it's kind of an eating disorder but it wasn't about the food it was that I was scared to eat again and I didn't eat for like an entire year. And I guess like it's kind of an eating disorder, but it wasn't about the food. It was that I was scared if I ate, I will throw up and I was scared to throw up. So it would get better and it would get worse. And this is something that I'm still kind of working through.

I'll be at a restaurant and noticed over the past few years, it mainly only happens when I'm out to eat. If I'm just at home or at your apartment or somewhere that I'm comfortable, I don't really get this food anxiety. But if I'm out at a restaurant and if I'm just uncomfortable in any way, sometimes I might not even notice that I'm uncomfortable. There's just, it's a new scenario. Maybe I'm not with people I'm super comfortable with. Suddenly I'll look down at my food or I'll even just get a whiff of it. And it, it brings me back. And I just feel as anxious as I did. Like, I can't eat this food. Like I'm going to, this food's going to make me sick. And then I kind of just start spiraling where I'm just like making it worse. Like all of a sudden I can't stop thinking. I like try to like get my mind off of it

and think about anything else. And my mind can only think about food. Like I literally can't think of anything else in the world. So that's something I've had to work through, which I've used the box method. Normally what I do is I just remove the food from the table I walk away I just remove myself from it I box the idea of food I start thinking about something else and then since the scent is something that would also trigger me I started keeping an essential oil roller in my purse yeah so I can change like my entire environment that I'm in I no longer smell the food I no longer see the food and I'm no longer thinking about the food. And that's something that was like just completely removing myself temporarily until I can like catch my breath, like get my physical health, like back to not thinking about it and not feeling that way anymore. That's something that I've really worked

on. I feel like for the past like five or so years that before, like I had no idea how to fix it. And I think this is something that I had to figure out for myself and kind of go through that because I don't think anyone could have told me what would fix that feeling that I was feeling. So you said you've learned a lot from like social media. Is that where you got this idea of the box? Yes.

I don't remember where specifically. I just remember I read someone said that compartmentalization is something that could really help with this. And from there, I just started watching YouTube videos, Googling it and kind of learned a lot from there. And then I was talking to my friend Rocky about it too. So when she was going through a breakup, she had a similar tactic that she used to kind of help with these like intrusive thoughts. So what she taught me to do was she was really sad about her breakup. So she

said, I'm only allowed to think about it twice a day. So she gave herself 11 a.m. and 7 p.m. And those were the two times a day she was allowed to be sad and like mope and think about her breakup. But she was like, if I looked at the clock, I'm like, oh, right now it's 3.04. It already passed 11 a.m. So she can't think about it right now. She's like, I have to wait until 7 p.m.

And if 7 p.m. comes around and she passes it again, she has to wait until tomorrow. And it gets to the point where you don't, I mean, I don't know if this is healthy, actually. Like maybe like there are certain things I feel like you do whatever works for you. You can't obsess with obsess over something all the time. Like I think it's good and healthy to like leave yourself times on the calendar. Like I'm allowed to be sad about this for this amount of time. But, you know, if tomorrow comes around and it's 11 a.m. and I caught the time, I'm like, OK, I'm going to I'm allowed to think about this for this amount of time. But you know, if tomorrow comes around and it's 11 AM and I,

I caught the time, I'm like, okay, I'm going to, I'm allowed to think about this. I'm allowed to be sad about it. But then it's like, okay, you're 30 minutes is over. Like time to move on, get your mind off of it. Because otherwise I feel like you are going, or at least for me personally, you are going to like obsess over that thought and it's never going to leave your brain. Where were these tactics when I was going through my divorce and breakups? Yeah. I guess you were talking to the wrong friends, right? But I use that tactic for a lot of different things. And I was actually just talking to mom about this because our mom has a tooth surgery next month and she's so stressed out about it. And we've just been trying to tell her like, you need to just enjoy Hawaii and not think about it

after. And I was like, mom, literally put it on your calendar that you're allowed to worry about it as of January 1st. Like for the rest of the year, there's no point of wasting these next two weeks worrying about it when you have next month to worry about it. So that's just another thing that I do is just kind of like scheduling when you're allowed to worry about things or just when you, you know, like you get an anxious email on a Friday afternoon, like literally don't worry about it until Monday. So I will put on my calendar like Monday morning, 8am, like I'm allowed to start worrying about this again. Don't know if this is healthy or if your therapist probably tells you guys to do the exact opposite or whatever. But yeah, these are all

little things that I've just learned from social media that really work for me. Like postponing, worrying, picking times to think about things and yeah, literally just compartmentalizing those thoughts. See, I feel like I worry all of the time and I'm like, about what is this, you know, because like, do I get this from mom? Like about, I mean, everything. Like I worry about summer every day, I think that's natural. But that I feel like comes with being a parent. Yeah. It's just so many things. Like even like last night, I mean, she just has not been sleeping well. And I was just like, you know, like, I don't think I even want to have another baby. And Brock's like, wait, what? What do you mean? And I'm like, I just, I don't know. Like, I'm just so afraid of getting pregnant again, having a miscarriage.

Like, I'm just so afraid of getting pregnant again, having a miscarriage. I'm afraid of getting all of that genetic testing done again. I'm afraid of being pregnant and having a stillborn. I'm, like, afraid of being pregnant and getting help syndrome again. I'm not, like, afraid. Like, he's like, why do you think you're going to die? And I was like, it's not that I'm afraid to get pregnant because I think I'm going to die. I do not think I'm going to die. I think if I were to get diagnosed with HELP syndrome again,

that my doctors would recognize it earlier, know the signs and symptoms and all of that, and I think they would treat it and be okay. But then I'm afraid of having an emergency C-section because my blood pressure is too high. All of these things that I'm just afraid of, and then having a newborn again, and then you've got to worry about SIDS,

and then holding their head up and just you got to worry about SIDS and then like holding their head up and just all of these things I'm like I don't know if I want to do this again you're just worried about anything that could go wrong it sounds like absolutely but it's like is that normal like definitely I feel like that's all like completely like valid things to worry about but it's not something that you should like actively like manifest either no and I don't and that's what I think every time I think like a negative thought like that you should like actively like manifest either. No, and I don't. And that's what I think every time I think like a negative thought like that, I'm like, that's not going to happen.

Like, you're crazy. Like, don't think that. Like when I had the dream that her head fell off. Oh, you didn't tell me about that. It was terrifying. Literally, I'm like eight, nine months pregnant and I was holding her and all of a sudden like I wasn't supporting her head and her head just fell off like it was like clean like was there blood totally blood but I picked it up I put it back on

and then like she was fine okay and I woke up terrified but I was like oh my god oh my god like I just was so afraid of that and I'm like I think there are a lot of normal fears with being a parent and then it's like okay you get past Sid's age and all of these things and then I just hear recently one of our friends who's a nanny says that the woman she nannies for they lost their toddler to Sid's like almost two years old and I'm like oh so you still do have to worry about it it's not just two to four months and then if it's not that you have to worry about them choking getting kidnapped like it's always fucking something and I'm like do I want to have to worry about this with also another kid but I want Summer to have a sibling but like she has two siblings they're just in Australia but like she's not growing up

with them and I don't know you can always adopt and that's one of the things that I was just talking about I'm like I still have to worry probably about like SIDS and their head falling off and things like that totally I'm like or we just adopt like a one-year-old. I don't know. Because I do, that is something that Brock and I have talked about. We've talked about having another biological, but also adopting if we want to have three. And also a surrogate, you know.

So like I don't have to be pregnant and worry about just those things, which I think would make my anxiety and stress less. But I do feel like since being with Brock, my anxiety has gotten so much better. I was medicated for so long, I think like six years. Why do you think it's gotten better? Do you think he does certain things that just help with your anxiety? Totally.

Or is it his energy? What is it? I think it's both. I think he has a different positive. I mean, I don't think I'm a negative person, but sometimes, but he has just like a very positive perspective of everything. Like when I was really sad about her not latching the other day, I'm like, can you just say, I'm so sorry that that's happening. And like, I understand like, this is hard for you. And he's like, no, she's growing up. And he's like, and just think of it now that like, now you don't have to wean her off. She's weaning herself off,

like see the positive in it. And I'm like, I do see the positive in it, but I just need you to acknowledge my feelings. I am still sad. And he was very sweet. Yeah. Just validate me, you know? And he did, but there are just so many things like that where he's just like, honey, look at the brighter side of things, you know, like, don't look at the negative, like, oh, now you're losing this. Like I said, I'm so fortunate. I had this for almost eight months with her. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, I think it's really important for your partner to like, understand your anxiety and like the right ways to respond to it. Cause I was going to say, right. When I first started dating justice, like this is when my food anxiety was a lot more like

common and this would happen a lot more often before he would just have to go away I was like I literally can't be around anyone I can't hear anything like I don't want anyone to talk to and now it's gotten to the point where it's like this is like something that he's seen me experience so many times that he can talk me through it and out of it and it's like that's like so important to me that I'm like he doesn't just like like he doesn't not know how to help at this point. Like he's seen it so many times that he's like, he knows the right things to do and say that would help me get through this quicker. So I think that's really like, I feel like that's good for Brock too.

It's like, these might not be the right things you want to hear. Like maybe you just want to be validated, but he says the right things that actually do end up helping you. I know. And it's frustrating that like, he's right so much. I appreciate it, but it's also, but he's also sometimes wrong sometimes. He is sometimes wrong, but like even years ago, I mean, up until honestly, like a few months before I got pregnant in 2020, I would smoke weed almost every day. That was like my crutch. If I had to be put in an uncomfortable situation with certain friends I wasn't getting along with, I would just hit my vape pen right

before. And it was like, I would just get high to cope with how I was feeling because I didn't want to feel. I would just like want to mask that feeling. And when I started dating Brock, I mean, he knew that I smoked weed and it was never like he was like, oh, you have a problem. But when I started to realize that that was how I was dealing with anxiety and things and I'm like, OK, this isn't good. And I had to quit smoking weed when I froze my eggs. So I already knew like I can totally do it and I was fine. But then after I froze my eggs, I'm like, oh, now I can smoke weed again. And then when I wasn't even trying to get pregnant, but I was going to freeze my eggs for the third time,

I started to cleanse again and stopped smoking weed. And now, you know, like since I got pregnant once, twice, and baby breastfeeding, it's like now I don't even remember what that was like. Like now the thought of it gives me anxiety because I'm like, no, now I have a baby to take care of. Like I can't be high. I can't do this. And so I feel like I've just found different ways. Like I started meditating when him and I started dating. Yeah. Healthy habits. You replaced him with healthy habits. Yeah. Like when I went through the miscarriage, I'm like, yeah, I could

open a bottle of wine and smoke some weed right now to just not feel anything. But I'm like, that's not going to help me. Like I need to deal with what's actually happening. And I found a couple different meditations and just sat in a shower and cried for hours. And it was really sad, but I didn't go to any old habit. Yeah. And that's kind of like with my anxiety too.

It's like, there are probably so many other things that I could do. But luckily I found those couple of things that I talked about that work for me. And I'm like, and this is all stuff that I literally only need my brain for. It's something that I'm able to do on my own, you know, with the help of maybe justice or maybe some essential oil, but it's like, it feels good knowing that like I can like cure myself on my own. You know, it's a really good feeling. Yeah. Another good feeling is Hawaii coming up so let's run through our itinerary okay what else do we have on the sketch because I am not shark diving okay so there's still a lot of room to fill in which I

have a separate list for with things to like add in okay but we land Tuesday um I was thinking this day is the day to hang at the hotel yeah we paid enough money to be at this hotel we should definitely appreciate the resort a little bit yes wednesday that's when me brock and justice are swimming with sharks yeah i'll be at the hotel and then in the evening at sunset we're shooting with a photographer and taking some family pics so that was that awesome photographer you shot with at the baby moon right yes with the waterfalls oh my god he was so good I'm so excited now that like she's not in my belly like I know I'm not hiking to those waterfalls again especially with the baby I was gonna say should recreate one of those photos like with her instead of my belly but that's a lot but I mean you did it pregnant yeah pregnant but not carrying her like I also

I feel like pregnant would be more dangerous maybe I. I think I did trip a couple times. I didn't fall, but yeah. Okay, and then Thursday, we're going ATVing at Kualoa Ranch. Yes, I am so excited for that. It's so beautiful there. I'm so excited. Yeah, I'm really excited for that. And then Friday is a little bit of an off day, so I was thinking that day me and Justice might go find a cool hike,

maybe cliff jumping, explore a little bit, so maybe you guys could hang at the hotel. And then we have the luau at 5 p.m. Yes. Luaus are so expensive. It's so stupid. Like why are they that much money? I know, but it's such a good show.

We'll be vlogging the whole time. It's good for the vlog. But yeah, cliff jumping, that's another thing that I'm like, mm-mm. So you'll jump off a building but not a cliff. Yeah, because I'm attached to something. You just need to be attached. But when I jump off a cliff, what am I jumping'm attached to something you just need to be attached but when I jump off a cliff what am I jumping into water the water's um Saturday we're going to the north

shore which I'm really excited about so we can maybe go to like turtle bay um there's this place called shark's cove I don't know if you'll be down for that but I want to go there okay I want to go to sunrise shack it's cute that's where I have a photo in front of there. That's where we went. So cute. Like every morning on our baby moon. I love that place. And then Sunday, you guys are going whale watching. Yeah. So we'll have to plan something maybe that morning too. This is going to be fun.

Yeah. I'm really excited. And if you guys are following along on YouTube or Patreon, we will be vlogging everything. I'm excited to see Summer get excited about these things for the first time. Like first time on a plane. Her first real time in the ocean. Because I don't really think the bay in San Diego really counts. No, not at all.

This will be her first time in an ocean. She's going to be so excited. I'm so excited. And then does Mickey Mouse walk around? What are the vibes? They do have characters there. I think it's at certain times. And I think during those certain times we missed it. But I know they do have characters there. I think we, like, it's at certain times, and I think during those certain times, like, we missed it.

But I know they do have, like, characters there. Are they dressed in Hawaiian shirts? I really hope so. I don't know. Maybe they'll be in, like, a little, like, Christmas Santa, like, shirt or something. That would be cute. Like a Hawaiian Christmas shirt. Yeah.

You know the vibes. I can't wait. We're going to see how Summer does on her first flight. So I had my mom make these bags I saw on Instagram where it's a little note that says, like, hi, my name's Summer. I'm seven months old. This is my first flight. You know, I'll try to be on my best behavior, but my ears might hurt. I might lose my cool, blah, blah, blah.

There was one where it said, like, I might be good, I might be bad. Sorry if I make you mad or something. So we have cute little notes with like snacks and earplugs and hand sanitizer. I'm not even, me and justice aren't even on your flight. No, you're not. So if she's bad, we'll be sleeping away on Hawaiian airlines. Yeah. Well, I mean, we're in the first class area of the Delta flight, but it's not like the mint, like the the Delta flight. It's not like the pods or anything. It's just like a smaller area with the bigger chairs. But we've made bags for everyone.

I feel like she won't be the only baby on the flight. I feel like this is a really popular time to go to Hawaii. I'm sure there's a lot of families traveling there right now. Yeah. So maybe there'll be like another screaming child and it will quiet her. I mean, she is a good baby, you know, so I'm just worried on the time of day. Like you said, you might have to wake her up to the airport. It's going to throw off her nap time. At least there's four of you to pass her around to, right?

Oh, I'll let you guys know how it goes. Let's do some questions. Okay, cool. All right. G underscore R winter wants to know, does your sister work for you now and what is her role? Yeah. So for the past couple of months, I have been working full time for Sheena. Yeah. And it's the best. It's yeah, it's fun.

So I've been helping her with content, literally like everything. Just like day to day. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, tell them about like your shoot today. Oh yeah. So we have three new items coming out

in my Bella Boss collection. We have this gorgeous red velvet dress that's like perfect for the holidays or New Year's Eve. We have the London fuzzy set that is currently in green, also in pink, and then the summer moon, which is pink and white currently, also in like a sky blue. So we just went downstairs and shot those photos earlier today. Those are all available now. So go to BellaBossLA.com and shop those new looks. They're such great quality, super cute clothes. We were talking about maybe doing another collection next year. So stay tuned for that. Yeah. Everything's such great quality. Yeah. But yeah, circling back. So I helped with the shoot. I helped everything with the Bella Boss collab. She does my hair because I suck at doing my hair.

I do love doing hair. And then just in general around, like if you and Brock are ever podcasting, I don't mind ever taking the baby. I just help with everything and it's a lot of fun. Yeah, it's been such a blessing. So yeah, she's with me. Natalie Louise Griffiths wants to know what you do for a living. We just answered that.

But also, do you love being an auntie and do you hope to have children one day? I absolutely love being an auntie, but this does not give me any baby fever. Like summer is definitely in close enough proximity that it's like I have a baby whenever I want to. I don't need my own anytime soon. But I mean, me and Justice have been together now for almost five years. It wouldn't happen within the next six at least. But I think him and I are really serious about adopting in the future. Like I feel really strongly about abortion and I really think we need to like make a dip and fix the foster system before we tackle other issues. So I would

love to feel like I made a difference and adopted someone who maybe wouldn't have gotten out of the system and aged out. So I even think it would be cool to adopt an older child because everyone adopts babies. And I think that would be really cool. I just like, I feel like that would make me feel like I'm making a difference. But we're not against biological children, like down the line. I think we would want that.

But I also really would want to adopt. Yeah. See, I was the. I think we would want that. But I also really would want to adopt. Yeah. See, I was the same way with, like, the baby fever. Like, even people were like, oh, my God, are you ready for, like, baby number two? And, like, if I see an infant, I'm like, no. Like, I don't have that baby fever. I have, like, puppy fever more than I have baby fever. Yeah.

I just, summer is just so perfect that it almost makes me just not ever want another. Because I'm like like she's everything I've ever wanted I'm good but I want her to have a sibling yeah because we both grew up as like only children and now we're super close but I think just give her one you know yeah but yeah yeah I was gonna say something else but I forgot um Natalie also asked what made justice open up a coffee house in vegas are you helping him or is this just him on his own oh well thank you for asking um yeah this is something he's always really wanted to do he's very very creative he loves coffee and i feel like he really needed like an outlet of something to do on his own like i think with his like working style like yes he

edits your vlogs but i think he works best being his his own boss because he's really self-critical and like, this is, it's like the perfect lineup. Like there's so many different aspects of it that I think is perfect for him. So it did start about two years ago where he wanted to do a food truck. So that's what Better Days was going to do. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Well, okay. I'll go back a little further. Why not? So his first job ever was at an aca food truck. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Well, okay, I'll go back a little further. Why not? So his first job ever was at an acai shop in Vegas. Okay. And it was called Bullology.

He became really good friends with the owner. The owner ended up, like, making it a franchise, having, like, 10-plus locations here in Southern California and in Vegas, and he ended up selling it. But Justice ended up just becoming really good friends with this guy, you know, being one of his first employees. So when Justice, you know, it was going to be be a food truck we started looking at food trucks to buy but the permits in like newport beach and the surrounding orange county area was very very difficult we couldn't

like we didn't even know we were going to be able to park it like so it kind of transformed we were like oh maybe this should be an actual location luckily with his dad being in commercial real estate he found an awesome location brand new that it kind of all fell into place. And then Justice asked his old boss being like, hey, like, I was really inspired by you working with, like, working for you. I want to do this too. And his old boss was like so on board and he's been helping him with a ton of stuff because Justice is a first time coffee slash acai shop owner. Like he doesn't know all the logistics of things. He's just really been working on the creative and that part is easy like the design and the creative like he could do that like the back of his hand so yeah i wouldn't say this is something he's always wanted to do but i

think a lot of his interest aligned with this idea and we should be opening december 27th oh my gosh a little soft opening we're not gonna like crazy announce it yeah this is for your guys's ears only and then by end of january i think we're gonna officially launch to a giant party but we got to give him a month to like get it together definitely you know work out all the kinks yeah but yeah so I've been helping him mainly not really with the physical stuff I did paint one day and there's video of it so there's proof of that but I've been helping a lot with the branding and like the social media part of it and just like coming up with stickers and the logo and the quotes and that part's all been a lot of fun for me.

Yeah. Love that. Yeah. I just created a sticker for him yesterday and it says iced coffee tastes better when you're late for work. And it's stuff like that. We want everything to be Instagramable. You know, and Vegas needs that.

And I think it's honestly going to thrive better there than it would here in LA or Orange County because it's so oversaturated. Definitely. Well, I'm so excited for the opening. Me too. I can't wait. Just even seeing like on Snapchat and stuff just the little progress that he makes every day. It's so exciting.

And I've been taste testing and oof, every syrup is made in house. Well, you're like a matcha connoisseur. Yes. So. Everything's so good. You're a good taste tester. a sewer. So everything's so good. You're a good taste tester. Shelby Dawn alters wants to know, does your sister like or dislike that you're a celeb? I don't think I'm a celeb, but public figure. And do you give her free promos? You get, yes, I do like it, but I benefit from it. I was

going to say, I always tell people the story. I was at a new school in middle school. Like I knew one person there. And since that was the year that you were on the Jonas Brothers Disney show it made me cool and it gave me friends and I feel like that was a confidence boost I needed and since then you know I've just always had that kind of confident girl persona but it like gave me the confidence I needed to like go into this new school and I think just since then like I've always thought it was cool. I don't see social media as a bad thing whatsoever like yeah there's its ups and downs with your show but I always see social media as a positive platform. Totally. When if you look at the good

in it so I've always thought it was cool. Definitely. Rosie Claire how do you feel about carrying Summer for nine months for her to be her daddy's twin? Who do you think she looks like? Well, I've said it from the beginning. I see Brock. I see a lot of Brock in her. But I also see you in her. Why don't I see it? I don't know.

I think you're in denial. But like mom always says, for example, I only see Sheena because Summer looks like what Sheena looked like when she was younger. I did. I didn't know you as a baby. So it's not my fault. I didn't know me as a baby. I just know the photos.

And then I see her and I'm like, oh my God, she's me. But I don't know you as a baby, so it's not my fault. I didn't know me as a baby. I just know the photos, and then I see her, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, she's me. But I don't know. It's so weird. I think certain faces that she makes, she looks just like Brock. But – I want to do a poll. I think Brock has strong genes, we've said. He does.

Nocturnal 1306. Does your dad speak Dutch? I like that he is called Opa. He does, but he doesn't speak it enough because he has no one to speak it with. Yeah, so he was, like like really, really fluent, obviously. But now since he only speaks Dutch, like once every six months on the phone, because a lot of our Dutch relatives speak English. There's just no really reason for it anymore. He speaks, you know, there's like Spanglish, which is Spanish and English. He speaks like Dutch-lish. It's like half Dutch words, half English words. So when he

does speak Dutch, it's still like are you sure that's dutch you're throwing in an english word every like five words yeah but he can he could probably if he brushed up on it but who'd he talk to um actually one of brock's friends oh really is dutch yeah but he probably speaks english too oh perfect english like i had no idea he was dutch and then yeah he's like because teach English so young there. So it's like literally all of our cousins and like aunts and uncles, they all speak such great English that there's just like, is Dutch a dying language? Yeah. I think it's funny too. I heard you on the phone the other day with one of your friends, how a lot of your friends don't know your last name. Like you have

a Dutch last name and people don't know it. Yeah. Cause on social media, I'm Courtney Aaron. So sometimes I'll mess with friends. And I'll be like, wait, do you know my middle name? And then they're like, yeah. And then they're like, wait. And then they think really hard. And then I'm like, Aaron. And then they're like, wait, so what's your last name?

Yeah. And they never know. Yeah. Or they get it wrong. It's Van Olfen. Or I'll get Van Olsen or Van Orfen. Like, come on. So funny.

Come on. Well, thank you for being here. We have a lot of packing to do. I know I haven't started. We are off to Hawaii. I will not be doing a new episode next week. We're going to take that week off to vacay in Hawaii and spend Christmas with the fam. But I will be back the week after that and do a New Year's episode. And yeah, thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you for being here. Of course. And I will talk thank you guys so much for listening thank you for being here of course and i will talk to you guys later bye sheena shea shea fk thanks for listening to shenanigans with sheena shea download new episodes every week on apple podcasts spotify or wherever

you get your podcasts.