Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Dave Meltzer Melts Your Mind!

Episode Date: October 29, 2019

Author, Speaker, and Entrepreneur Dave Meltzer joins Scheana and special co-host Jamie to talk about the importance of meditation, studying our sleep and getting enough, and how to maximize our time.  Special thanks to this episode's sponsors! Prive Revaux - Get 15% off your first pair at priverevaux.com and use code SCHEANA 15. Hulu - Start your free trial at hulu.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Thank you for listening to this podcast one production available on Apple podcasts and podcast one You guys I am so excited it's fall because not only does that mean new fashion But it means new TV time and Hulu has all of the shows. I love to watch like Vanderpump Rules The Voice Grey's Anatomy. This is us. I mean, so many of my bingeable favorites, and Hulu has them all. But as much as I want to watch, like, dramas all day, you know, I also want comedies that make me laugh so hard I literally cry. Like, The Good Place, It's Always Sunny, Family Guy. I mean, Hulu has all of those shows, too,

and I know you guys love watching them as much as I do. And do you know what else Hulu has? Well, it's a really great low price Plans start at $5.99 a month So if you love TV And don't want to miss a moment of the new stuff Go to Hulu.com And start your free trial

And again, Hulu.com, start your free trial Hulu has the TV you love Only $5.99 a month. From Vanderpump Rules to Vegas and everywhere in between, it's time to party with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans. And now, here's your host, Sheena Shea. What's up, guys? Welcome back to Shenanigans. I am in town for a few weeks, which is weird because I've been gone so much. So I have a lot of things that I want to talk to you guys about. I have a new co-host here for today, my friend Jamie,

who has been on all of my travels recently, which we're going to get into a little bit. And then I, yes. And then I have an amazing guest who is a friend of hers, Sir David Meltzer. Right on. How are you? Amazing. Thanks for having me in here. Yeah, thanks for being here. So Jamie and I have been talking about having you on the show for a while, and I was like,

okay, well, you have to co-host with me, obviously, because you know him. I am so honored for this to be my first one to be here with you, because I was telling Sheena that I just think you have so much valuable information, and your podcast is amazing. I listen to it all the time, so much valuable information. And your podcast is amazing. I listen to it all the time. But I can only assume that your audience is different than hers on Shenanigans. And I just love the idea of blending these two different demographics, really, and providing that same value that you've provided to me to all of her listeners. So I'm very excited.

Yeah. And I feel like I've been kind of in a slightly like discouraged place recently so i felt that this would be a good perk up right on seeing as your friends with ed my let so i listened to y'all's podcast last night did you cry um i didn't cry but um i was very just it just was very motivating and there were just so many things that you guys said. And when I had him here, it was probably maybe like three months ago. It was one of my favorite shows I've ever done, and I've done probably, I don't know, 70 podcasts by now. So I was really excited to get you in here. And it's funny, when I was listening to it, there was something that you told him on the podcast that he told me on mine.

that you told him on the podcast that he told me on mine and it was the like 20 minutes at the beginning of the day like not looking at your phone and just like taking that time for yourself and it's something I still haven't done I will admit because it's like my alarm goes off and it's just my brain is triggered to be like oh okay 17 texts 14 emailed this like so I do want you to try and convince me that I need to do this because I feel like my brain is always just like go go go I've been out of town with this one so much she thinks I was trying to kill her I don't know how I'm still alive

here I mean I'm living on caffeine for the last week you guys look great though it's amazing so you're wearing well well she is a vampire I've convinced myself of that maybe it's rubbing off on me. Botox and concealer are my secrets. Very nice. They are our friends.

But yeah, it was crazy because I'm listening to it. And I was like, oh my God, Jamie. I was like, that's something that Ed told me. And I was like, oh my God. And then I looked at the date and it said, I think it was May 9th, 2018. And I was like, wait, Ed got that from you. We both have shared many good thoughts. Let me teach you how easy it is. I think one of the things people do is they make stuff really

complicated. And why I love new audiences and new spectrum of people, whether it's ages or religions or cultures, is that things are real simple. I put things into mathematical terms. So think about your day like this. You are only allowed one action in the day. The minute you open your eyes, you're allowed one action. Everything else to that one action is a reaction. So the philosophy that I had, and believe me, I am an active person. I believe in activity. You get paid for activity. You don't get paid for. I'm a time freak. We can go into all that. But once I simplified my life and said, because I'm compulsive, I'm like phone, email, which one first? The minute I wake up and I'm super jazzed when I wake up. Instead, my first

action then is just to be at the highest frequency I can find. So if walking my dog put me to the highest frequency, that would be my first action. For me, I use meditation, which is more a calm state of peace. But whatever it is, if you change your philosophy to simply, I get one action a day, it's really easy to lower the bar and start doing that one action. The cool thing about making your action in the highest frequency is that everything you have to react to, you now have a baseline for how you act. And so what happens to people is when they react in the ego-based consciousness, they start accelerating in the wrong directions. They start using negative energy. They start creating momentum that they don't want and they have to use concealer and Botox to look young and rested instead of just

playing motivation, inspiration. Happiness is my offense to that, right? And I want to live my life at the highest frequency that I can so that more can come through me to help other people. And that flow just continually perpetuates this unbelievable feeling yeah love that why do you think you haven't done it since Ed recommended it um well the thing is I haven't done that but I did start with meditating oh so I got yeah so I got the calm app so like every night before I go to sleep they have this like there was like this seven days of sleep thing. I listen to the different stories and stuff like that

to try and just shut my brain down. So instead of doing it at the beginning of my day, I do it at the end of my day because I realize I have a hard time falling asleep at night, no matter how much weed I smoke. Although I did have some Calm by Wellness CBD drops last night. Shout out to them. Knocked me out.

I had a great sleep. I might need to try that. And it's just all CBD. So that was one of the things that helped me last night. But normally, I just feel like I have so much on my mind. I'm always go, go, go. I never really take any me time unless I do a spa day, which I haven't done in a couple months. me time unless I do a spa day, which I haven't done in a couple months.

But I just, when I lay down at the end of the night, I'm like, oh, I didn't do this today. I need to do this tomorrow. And then I didn't, did I say this to this person? And so with at least getting that app, I feel like that's one way that I can kind of shut down my brain and get a good sleep. But then when I wake up, I have like, if I, especially if I wake up late, like if I, I just got the new 11 pro and I keep forgetting every if I wake up late, like if I just got the new 11 Pro and I keep forgetting, every morning

I wake up to the Beatles, Here Comes the Sun and I forgot to set my alarm to that song. So it's just the like general like do-do-do. Oh, I haven't forgotten because I've traveled with you and she will sleep through her alarms. That's the afternoon alarm.

Why do you have so many alarms on your phone? Because that's my napping alarm and I don't take naps often. But Beatles, Here Comes the Sun, I wake up every now and then and I'm like, yes, the sun. It's like a happy song. I love it. But I haven't done that on my new phone yet. So the last few days I wake up to my mom calling me

and being like, don't you need to be at the gym right now? And I'm like, what? Oh my god. And then I'm like, 72 emails. I was like, oh my god, oh my god. And it's just like, that's happened to me this week. It's not every week like that. But I just need to figure out. I don't even know if it's the phone necessarily. Maybe I don't check my text for the first 20 minutes. Or I feel like I need to do something that is not just completely not being on my phone right when I wake up.

Because if I do wake up late, then I need to like respond to something that's timely. You know, one of the things with all the different habits and I, you know, preach habits, teach habits. And I live by my own hypocrisy because as much as I have these lessons,

I forget them every day. Yeah. Like the greatest lesson I hope to get out there is just to be grateful for what you have and to be happy. Right. But I forget that every day and I teach it every day. And there's times I look at myself going, that wasn't a very gracious thing to do or a nice thing or a happy way to look at it or finding the light. One of the things that has really helped me is my calendar.

And this might sound stupid, but I believe in the context of time that if we understand man-made construct of time, that you have 24 hours in a day. And when you start really studying your calendar and you look at, okay, sleep, for example, number one habit that everyone on earth shares that spent every single day, almost religiously, 99.9% of all people on earth do it every day and almost for eight hours a day. And so it's really significant that none of us pay attention to sleep. Hardly any of us because I actually pay a sleep coach first. It'll be the last coach I ever fire. But I study sleep. So I pay attention to it.

I give it intention and it equals coincidence. Two things colliding perfectly together at the right place at the perfect time. Subconscious and unconscious mind is focused and derived in your sleep. So the point being, there's a big chunk of time that will change your life. And everybody uses these mechanisms like CBD and marijuana and all the cool stuff that I've used in the past, melatonin. For me, after studying sleep, I don't need anything. And I actually utilize my sleep for productivity and accessibility because I'm a student of my calendar. I have rules that are the 5-20 rule, right?

Five-minute phone calls are my objective, 20-minute meetings, 20-minute interviews usually, like literally. But I make exceptions. I prioritize minutes with people in my life. Do we only have 20 minutes with you? No, we have more. This is family. This isn't work.

This is activity. I don't get paid for it. This is family. This isn't work. This is activity. I don't get paid for it. This is what I love to do. But I really think that if people pay attention to time, that we now have plenty of it. And the things that are really obsessing in your life, like the emails and the text messages and all those things that you feel, you actually feel them, right? Yeah. Can just be literally obliterated because you have so much time to do them.

If you knew that you would have time to answer everything, it wouldn't bother you when you wake, wake up. The problem is you feel like if I don't get this done now, they're going to be there for two days and then people aren't going to think I'm responsive. And that's when there's shortage. And it creates anxiety. Yeah. Just having a number on my phone on any app gives me anxiety.

So until I clear my phone, like I can't stop thinking about it. Yeah. And I just, it doesn't bother me because I have time. And I maximize the efficiency, productivity, and accessibility of my time. Productivity is how much value you provide. And accessibility is how accessible are you to others and how are you accessing what you want, which is literally right into your phone. And so get into the habit, which is a muscle of studying time. If I was going to use, you know, that beginning of the day, it would be to be a student of my calendar. Look and see what am I doing in person? What am I doing

on the phone? What am I doing on email? And what am I doing media wise? Print, TV, radio, social media. That's how I divide it. And then the most important things in my life, like for example, my relationships are very important. My health, number one. So I give my health one hour minimum a day. So that's when I start my account. What does that mean for you? Could be determinable on two different routines. So you guys are like me. You travel a lot.

So I have a home routine that says nothing's really different. I'm going to be sleeping in my bed. I'm going to be eating the same time. No bachelor parties. No weird family in town. Like all the weird stuff that happens. So that's about 100 days for me a year that I have a normal routine. hundred days for me a year that I have a normal routine. So then I have an adopt adaptable routine that says, okay, I have a process, a habit of, I need to adapt my day, my time to travel, family,

friends, et cetera. So for me, one hour a day in their daily routine is simply wake up at four, meditate for 20 minutes, give myself 10 minutes to get dressed and go to the gym, 4.30 to 5.30 at the gym, which I have to 5.30 at the gym, which I have a standard chest and tris back and by, legs and shoulders and cardio plan. I see the calluses on your hands. Yeah. And my nails, now Colleen's behind me going, I told you to cut your nails, you moron. Anyway, but I do.

My claws. Those are beautiful. Mine are just manly. Great for back scratches. These are great for climbing trees. But we're fine. Moving forward, though, like literally that's my routine for health. Then I spend 30 minutes a day with my wife.

I adore my wife. She's the most important person to me. Hold up. Only 30 minutes? Minimum. Everything's minimum. Yes. Thank you.

But every day. Okay. Every day. And that could be in person, on the phone, or email. Yeah. FaceTime. Just personal one-on-one time. Oh, yeah. Guaranteed every day. Love that. Minimum. Okay. Every day. And that could be in person, on the phone, or email. Yeah. FaceTime. Just personal one-on-one time. Oh, yeah.

Guaranteed every day. Love that. Guaranteed. Minimum. Yes. 30. Same with my nine-year-old. Minimum.

Three teenage daughters get a minimum of two minutes a day. I asked for five. Yeah. I asked for five. I won two. Yeah. And my mom, here's the most remarkable story how your life changes when you start focusing consistently. Two minutes of meditation a day is worth more than two hours on a Saturday.

So one minute a day, my mom used to make me do crazy stuff. Come fix this. And I have to drive to San Diego. And I'm like, she could get this help. I got other siblings. I started realizing she wanted my attention. What for? She wanted me. And I asked her to know that started realizing she wanted my attention. You know, what for? She wanted me.

And I asked her to know that I love her and appreciate her. So every day of my life, I give my mom a minimum of one minute a day to purposely intent, pay attention to my mom with the intent of making sure she knows secure every day that I love and appreciate her. Because those two women in my life, not the teenage girls. Right. Yet. But those other two, my life not the teenage girls right yet but those other two my wife and my mom yeah like i i live the most blessed life in the world and without those two i don't know where i would be yeah and what's a minute a day and it makes such

a difference my relationship with my i've been married 22 years and in fact your friends teddy and eddie right yeah we were out to dinner with them and they've been married like years and in fact your friends teddy and eddie right yeah we were out to dinner with them and they've been married like 10 and you know their normal 10-year marriage they bicker a little they're stressed yeah and julie my wife tells teddy i probably argue teddy mellencamp for those of you who aren't following sorry my bad teddy and eddie that they're you know their pet name but they were they were um literally julie's like wow i probably have argued with dave twice in the last 10 years. And so they look at us going, we want to know what you do.

I'm like, well, first of all, ask him about our first 10 years. Yeah. It was twice a day. Okay. But now that I have utilized this methodology of communication, of being connected to someone exponentially, and I think that happens with all of my habits. I go towards prioritizing my health, then my family, then my work. And so then I do the same thing with work, with the 120 rule, the 520 rule,

all these mathematical things that make me pay attention to man-made constructive time so that I can be more productive and accessible. How much more value can I provide and how accessible am I to others to help them as well? Okay, and you know what? Speaking of value, Jamie, I noticed your sunglasses are really cute. Where are those from? Are they Preve Revos? They are, and I found them through you.

Oh. So, okay, Dave, I don't know if you know this, but the sunglasses, I have so many pairs at home. It's literally like you walk into my room, I look like a freaking LensCrafters. But these glasses were founded by like Jamie Foxx Ashley Benson Haley Seinfeld I'm sure you've seen them in movies or listen to the music or whatnot but they're amazing so there's like they have literally hundreds of styles at just $29.95

they're starting at so like what a good value is that right they're so cute and I always lose sunglasses so I've given up on the designer sunglasses these are better quality better looking yeah and like when people like mila kunis and billy eilish are wearing them you're like yeah i gotta have that if they have it i have it because totally people do that but um the great thing is that they always have free shipping on all orders they're like high-end designer details that they're all also this is the best part they're polarized which usually you'd have to pay more for this but not a purveyor of oh because it's like seeing the world in hd basically and they're um also scratch resistant so you know clumsy people like me exactly so when you throw

them in your purse you don't have a case scratch resistant and um they do come with a free case though so if you remember the case comes with it but yeah so um you guys can enjoy 15 off your first purchase using promo code sheena15 that's s-c-h-e-a-n-a 15 at purveyevo.com that's p-r-i-v-e r-e-v-a-u-x.com so you weren't always a zen though and so i would love and i know you're probably i was more cocaine and alcohol sin. Oh, okay. Hey, the 80s were a good time. You guys would have loved me. I'm not that old.

The 90s. No, you're a little younger than my mom. I'd have been high school in the 80s. Yeah. Well, that's okay. That's when my mom was crazy.

My mom would get really mad if I was on that many drives. It might happen when I was richer and older. Oh, I would love for you to share that story. I know you're probably sick of telling it,

but let's backtrack. Yeah. And because, you know, I feel like the fall and then the rebuilds is probably the most interesting part about a lot of people. I can relate to that myself. So I'd love for you to maybe bring it back and share. Yeah. I think money plays a key role in my, my rise because I grew up with six kids and a single mom, this extraordinary woman who raised us working two jobs. All I wanted to do is from five years old on when my dad left was to be rich, to buy my mom a house, a car and retire. And I was going to make five in 1973. I was going to make a million dollars and buy my mom a house, a car, and retire. And through that, I focused every day of my life to be first a professional football player.

Then it was a doctor. Then it was a lawyer. Graduating law school, I went into the internet instead of the law. Right. Against your mom's wishes. Against my mom's, that famous lesson, right? Just because someone loves you doesn't mean they give you good advice. But moreover, I really thought money bought happiness

because the only time I wasn't happy was when my mom was crying about money. It wasn't anything to do with me. I didn't need money. But then I got it and I thought it bought happiness and I went down a really bad road of self-entitling my existence. And I bought things, more things, different things,

surrounded myself with really bad ideas and bad people and ended up continually making money to the point where I lost over $100 million. That is insane to even have that much to lose. When I saw that, I was like, wait, what? Yeah. And it's still not real to me except for the fact that I learned so much.

Like I'm so grateful because of really three incidents. I think it's important to understand that everything evolves. The weird thing about me, unlike most people who lost everything, is I was on my transformational journey two years before I lost everything. So it wasn't like I lost everything and then I found something. I found something before I lost everything. It was just when you had that much money, all the bad causes, all the dumb decisions kind of created over time. And it was almost like I was prepared for it by the time I started losing everything. But I had warnings at 30 years old.

My dad told me I was just like him. Gave me a jacket with no pockets for my birthday, even though he told me he didn't believe in birthdays when I was 10 and forgot my birthday. So I hated my father. So I didn't listen to him, but he gave me a jacket to hang in my closet so I wouldn't be the richest man in the cemetery. And it stuck there. And I thought it was a joke. Like I was literally like, that'll never happen to me. I care so much about people. I didn't realize that I gave so much money away, not because I was trying to help the people like I do today. It was literally so I could get my name on the buildings or the awards. I was a philanthropist of trading. I was trading my

money for ego. And I'm honest about it. But you are an award winner. Thank you. Yes. It's amazing what money can buy. And I'm Sir Dave Meltzer too. Thank you. Yes. It's amazing what money can buy. And I'm Sir Dave Meltzer, too. It's amazing. Yeah, exactly. And the CEO of Sports 1 Marketing.

I mean, you have like 52 titles. And I was looking, I'm like, do I just introduce him as Sir Dave Meltzer? Or am I like CEO of Sports 1 Marketing, which is one of the world's leading sports and entertainment marketing agencies? You're like literally a real-life Jerry Maguire, right? Actually, before Sports 1, I was CEO of the firm lee steinberg which is what the movie was based on yeah yeah and before that i was in technology i was ceo of samsung's first phone division smartphone the first smartphone ce yeah crazy i'm like forrest gump of uh i look i wrote that right here he's the forrest gump of business i am run david run oh my god even when I am. Run, David, run. Oh, my God. I love that. Even when I lose money, I somehow fall into like roses.

Yeah. The second warning, I need to get myself an ADD. The second warning came from my best friend, and this one made me cry. I had my friend, I knew my wife in the fourth grade. No way. Sixth grade camp asked her to go study. Wait, that feels like Ed and his wife, they had known each other since they were so young, too. Yeah, isn't that weird?

I love that. Yeah. And so I adored her. And I had my best friend in the world at sixth grade camp ask her to go steady with me. Stop. And she said no. Tell him to ask me himself. So I got mad.

Smart woman. She's awesome. I told you. I don't know how I lucked into her. I threw an egg at her and hit her in the head. She had Rosanna Dana hairana hair like there was no product back then so i excuse my language she's gonna hate me for saying this but it was like pubic hair and so i made fun of her i made fun of her she had the jufro and like literally made

fun of her and loved her and her cousin was my good friend and i tried to you know hey can i ask her out he's like dude she hates. Yeah, you threw an egg at her. She just wanted you to be a man and to ask her yourself. And I called her ugly and threw rocks at her. Wow. It was awful. Later on in life, once again. Well, things worked out.

It worked out really well. And, you know, this best friend of mine who I hung out with, he literally told me, I was like, how come you don't hang out with me? He's like, I don't like who you hang out with and I told him yeah but I'm not doing what those other guys are doing you know and he's like Dave you can lie to me but don't lie to yourself and that one was like two days later my wife told me she wasn't happy she was gonna leave me I would gone out a little John to the Grammy Awards and got really messed up lying lying to her. And I, at first, the next day I woke up angry, ready to get divorced, blame, shame.

And I literally was so depressed. Something came over me and said, hold on a second. My dad, my best friend, and my wife, they're all right. I'm an asshole. And I went and listened to my wife. And that was two years before i lost everything i went back literally outlined took stock in who i was and what i wanted to become and all of these philosophies and great things that have evolved over the last 11

years came from that one day i spent one day depressed you know after i apologized and asked for forgiveness this i tried to do this without getting choked up. I literally, it sounds stupid. I was lying in bed going, man, how did I do this? Now, this is before I lost everything. Right. It wasn't about the money. It was how have I screwed up is total shame of myself. Because I was Midas.

Right. And it was like, I can't believe I have three beautiful children. I have this beautiful wife a house a car ferrari like and you weren't happy and that's when you realize money does not buy happiness no and i yeah it can solve some problems but it doesn't necessarily it's really important actually yeah money it's important when you're using it in the right ways to shop people right so this is great i mean it probably fits into what people understand. I believe money is still the most important energy of this vibration. Yeah.

It's an energy that you put into the flow. It allows you to shop, but you still have to shop for the right things. Yeah. If you shop for the right things, you can be super happy. Security, family, education. You know, I bought two community centers in Africa. I've never been happier in my life. Oh, wow.

Amazing. You know, like those are the things that I shop for now, not motorhomes and boats and planes and things like that. So not like Amazon Prime. Got it. Yeah. But with my faith, I go shopping too. So my faith is voting. It's the aggregate of what I think, say, do, and believe.

And my unconscious competency, personality traits, characteristics, possessions, and addictions. I put my faith in what I want. characteristics, possessions, and addictions. I put my faith in what I want. And I think one of the things I see, especially younger people with my three teenage daughters, is everyone's putting faith in the wrong stuff. They're voting for the wrong things. We got to change the way we vote. We got to be confident and say, thank you for the advice. Thank you for the situational knowledge or the example, but I'm going to vote for what I want. I don't want to be a copy. want to be myself yeah and it's okay because people will laugh chuckle and make fun of you before they applaud you oh my god

that's so true i'm on a reality show that's all bb i don't even think i get applauded actually no they do and you put faith and vote for what you want right and that's what i think people need to do more of and that's what i was able to do. I was always voting for what everybody else wanted for me. And the times I was most successful, it was when I decided not to be a real lawyer and to work in the Internet. It was when I decided to start and believe that a smartphone would someday work. It was when I decided to go ahead and switch professions and get into sports, even though I came from technology. Like all the things.

And then write my first book. Even speaking. I remember going to the Super Bowl no more than three years ago, three Super Bowls ago. And one of my big sponsor clients made fun of me when I got to Radio Row going, hey, were you speaking? The bathroom? You know, it stuck in my mind because it hurt my feelings at 48 years old. And now, you know, I speak around the world and I think to myself, what if I were to put faith into that?

Because I almost did. I almost said, what are you doing? When I got back to the hotel room, why do you think you can motivate people or speak or inspire or change lives? And, you know, I just came back from the National Achiever Convention in downtown. And it was like, oh, my, people really like, they're like, thank you so much for your videos. Yeah. Right. I changed lives with them and you know, it's hopefully resonating and hopefully it's positive. I don't sell anything. All I do is try to inspire people with good ideas. One of the things that you said when I, I did come to Sports One Marketing

and listen to you speak and you were so gracious to let me come and sit and I'm not an intern. I don't work there, but I did reach out to you And I said, you know what, I'm at a point in my life, this was maybe a year ago, where I was set in my career, I've been doing real estate for about 10 years, but something inside me was not happy. I knew something was missing. And I loved hearing your motto, make a lot of money, have a lot of fun, help a lot of people. And I'm like, you know what, well, Sheena knows I've had a lot of fun. Yes. That's why I'm here. Literally, David, we did four festivals in four weekends. That's a lot of Molly, right? I'm overdoing on the fun side, I think, a little bit. But

where I was at last year, I just knew something was missing. And it clicked when I heard you say that because I was like, you know what? I'm not helping enough people. And since you coming into my life, I just have to thank you because I've really gone after my real passions, which is animal rights, veganism, helping the disabled. And that has brought like a light into my life and a passion that I never had before. And no matter what business or career I would be doing, I like the entrepreneurial stuff, but there was always that aspect, the charity aspect missing. And you're really big on that too. And I love that. And something that I heard you say was when you were working with Lee Steinberg, his thing was that I will not work with anyone unless they have some sort of foundation or charity component.

And that also kind of vets the person into your life because if they are against doing that, maybe that's not someone you really want to work with anyway. Yeah, absolutely. And I think in a math sense, as we get down to the simplistic, it's when we are productive and we provide value to service to other people, it creates a void. And where the real transition occurs is, and you're going through this transformation yourself right now, that you see the shift in the paradigm of value that I'm going to start by looking at how I can help people. Now the real radical humility comes into asking to fill back up the void with what you want. For some reason, the human nature, the ego doesn't feel like it's humble to want to fill that void.

For example, my motto, make a lot of money, help a lot of people, have a lot of fun. It's make a lot of money so I can help a lot of people. That is so me. Yeah, sorry. You can't do what you don't have, please. No, absolutely. I mean, literally the only reason I've ever wanted to, I mean, obviously I want to be successful just in life,

but I've always just wanted to reach a certain level of whether it's fame or financial, whatever it is in my career, just to have that for my family. I take care of my whole family. My dad's a very hard worker, but my mom works for me. And that was like my goal was just to be able to,

once the show started taking off, I'm on a reality show. We don't need to get into that. I don't know if your daughters watch it. Oh, yeah. My wife almost had to come with me. She's such a big fan of yours. Well, we'll have to have you both back.

But I just once I started making money, I was like, you know, I don't. Yeah, I bought a new car. And like, you know, you go shopping a little bit and things like that. But I've always been very smart with my money. I have my step buyer, a 401k, all of that. I have money invested. And so I'm like, sometimes my mom's like, Sheena, you work really hard. You can buy yourself something. You can go. I'm going to Australia

soon. She's like, you can do these things. You work really hard. I'm like, but more so than taking care of myself, I want to take care of other people. I want to do my charitable donations. I want to make sure my mom never has to worry about her mortgage and like all of those things. So it's like when I saw that that was your motto, I was like, oh my God, that's like so something that I live by already. And just to add to what you were saying i don't know if you realize what and i don't know why i'm like emotional today but like you really are an amazing friend and you do a lot of things for a lot of people so don't ever like think that you're not amazing you do you you help me with a lot of things. And I'm really grateful for you. Thank you for saying that.

I, you know, let's go off on a tangent. I should thank you, too. And I was actually just thinking of this on my car right up here. You know, living in L.A. before I met her, before she opened her heart to me and her family. It's it's a very lonely place, you know. And even if you have people in your life, you said yourself, you were surrounded by the wrong people. But through being friends with you, and all of your amazing friends, like it just brought me almost like a family into my life being here without family originally, you know, and thank you for being that. And I know you get a lot of slack on this on the show,

too, that you know, you just you bring new people in and no new friends is a lot of people's mottos but like you're just no matter how much you've been hurt you bring new people in and whoever's meant to stay stays whoever's not meant to stay can go but thank you for bringing me in years ago and and just opening up your heart and everything and i have to say like on even a more personal personal note, I feel like I've connected with you more in, like, the past year since I've been practicing your Dave's principles. You know, I've been more vulnerable. I've been opening up. I've been letting you into certain aspects of my life

that I used to think I didn't want to burden people with. But I'm like, you know what? I started just opening up, and it makes me feel even closer yeah and even recently we were in Vegas and we kind of like had a bit of a disagreement because she felt like I was acting one way I felt like she was acting one way we weren't communicating and then we communicated what the issues were and it made things better it just it took like because I'm like if there's an issue I want my friends to tell me right now. If I say something and I sound like an asshole, be like, yo, that was rude.

Don't let it build up. And then three weeks later, be like, well, remember when you said this and then you did this and then you did that. But with Jamie, like we have gotten, I mean, we've been friends for what, five, six years now. But in the past year, we have gotten a lot closer. And so when she brought this stuff to my attention, which actually relates to something I was listening to you say on Ed's podcast about conflict resolution and gratitude

and all that. It was like when she told me these things, like at first I get reactive. And I'm like, no, you did that. And I'm like, hold on, let me let me put myself in Jamie's shoes. Let me think about how she's feeling. And I was like, okay, you you know it was one of those things where I'm like thank you for telling me this because you're going to make me a better friend because of it and I will be more aware of not doing this doing this more and that was something that when I was listening to you say that last night I'm like wow that's absolutely something that I can apply in my life every day just swallowing that bit of pride and not being the person who is so reactive and i think if i just can and i'm still working on things i'm not perfect no i have to say it's not

like it went in one ear and out the other ever since we had that talk she has been so on it like with the the one issue that that i did have it no longer even exists she's very aware of it yeah but i didn't know. And so until she, like, she, like, has, I don't want to say a freak out, but it was just like, we were at a music festival, and then my friends were grabbing her, and I was going back to the hotel, and we were all meeting up, but we went to the festival

together. She was like, why would you leave me? I'm like, because they were getting you. Like, it's not a big deal. We're all meeting up after. But then when I was like, okay, she feels like, you know, we came together, we should have left together, and then like, oh, you care more about this person than this, and it was just, at first, I was very reactive, when I was like okay she feels like you know we came together we should have left together and then like oh you care more about this person than this and it was just at first I was very reactive and I was annoyed and like well we're going out we're going to bar get over it but then I sent like we sent each other really long messages and as much as I think talking in person is better than texting sometimes when you have a lot of feelings that you want to

get out you need to put it down in writing to make sure you're saying everything and then if there's something that you disagree with then you talk about it in person which we did we had our long messages then we talked in person then we had a great night at the festival and listened to dashboard confessional and it was awesome but we needed to have that talk and you know just that conflict resolution because i didn't realize i was acting a certain way because no one else ever pointed it out but it was just something that was kind of personally and, you know, just that conflict resolution because I didn't realize I was acting a certain way because no one else ever pointed it out, but it was just something that was kind of personally directed at Jamie that I didn't realize.

It's amazing because I lived in this world of the need to be right and the need to be offended. Yeah. And I promise you one thing. If you have a need to be offended, the universe will not let you down. You will become offended, I promise you. And we do that

as friends and families all the time. We prepare ourselves to be offended with our family during the holidays. Like we were already building up to it. And you know, I really believe happiness is my offense. Love is my offense. Like praying for people's happiness is an offense and forgiveness is the defense. And the one thing that really helps people is the word perception. When someone feels some way, that's the way they perceive it. The way you perceive something is the truth. So the only thing you really can do is understand and forgive yourself for allowing that perception to exist. You can't change what you did.

You never can stumble on the roadblocks behind you. But it's so important. My whole life changed because I was one of those guys. I looked for things to be offended. I remember one time my little brother invited my other brother. I bought him a truck, and he invited my other brother to the Padre game and not me. And I literally for months didn't talk to my brother. And my mom's like, what's the matter?

I'm like, I can't believe how ungrateful he is. I spent that money to buy him a truck and he didn't even take me to the baseball game. He said, did you ask him to the baseball game? I said, no. She goes, well, I was there. Your brother was with him and he got the two tickets and he looked up and said, would you like to go to the game with him? But my perception had built up. Right. This ungrateful, right?

Meanwhile, my brother thinks the world of me and was completely damaged and hurt that his older brother wasn't talking to him. And then I switched to perception and I asked people how they feel. You know when someone's mad at you. Don't I? I take the minute. Like if we could just, you know, pray on that happiness and say, hey, I really want to know what's bugging you because I did something to give you a perception. And my intent is to be your best friend. What do you do if you ask that person

that question and they're unable to communicate effectively? Which happens a lot. You still let them know that you're there to understand and pray for their happiness, right? So you just let them know that, look, my perception is something's wrong. And if there is, feel free anytime to ask that. But I want you to know how I feel. And I feel I love you. Right? I appreciate you. And I really did not mean to hurt your feelings if that's the case. Usually that healing energy will either open them up and allow them to, when they calm down and start thinking about it, come back to you and say, hey, this is the way I was feeling.

And that's not easy for a lot of people to do. Like, I mean, admitting you're wrong, admitting you've hurt someone. Like, I have an issue with another friend right now that's just, I've tried to meet up with her for three and a half weeks now to talk in person and we just keep doing these text bickering back and forth. And I'm like- Let me fix it.

Watch this. I do this for my business all the time grab your phone this is grab your phone text her oh just tell her no try me try me text her and say hey I was just thinking about you and wanted to let you know how much I love and appreciate you doing it yeah literally write this to her and I just want to tell you, I'm thinking of you. Yeah. Have a wonderful day. Can't wait to catch up.

It's amazing. You're going to have to tweak those words a little bit based on the event happening later tonight. You'll be amazed. I literally will do an exercise at my office. Yeah, but Jamie came to one of them and I'll say, everyone get your phone out, pick the one person you're having the most difficulty with in your life and text them how much you love and appreciate them.

That's it. And watch what happens. Watch what happens. And it's amazing how the energy changes. Yeah. It opens it up. Can you read what you wrote? Yeah.

Yeah. That'd be cool. Thanks. Okay. I just said, I tweaked it a tiny bit. That'd be cool. Thanks. Okay. I just said, hey. F you. I tweaked it a tiny bit. I will not be there tonight, bitch.

Exactly. Just tweaked it a little bit. Point made. I just said, oh, wow. She's already typing. Oh, of course. I just said, hey, I was just thinking about you, and I want you to know I love and appreciate you, and I'm truly sorry if I've hurt you recently, and I really, really mean that. She feels that I've said some things recently that are hurtful.

She's like, well, you talked down to me. And I'm like, no, I'm just trying to get my point across via text because you haven't hung out with me. She has a new boyfriend. She has a couple new jobs. She's just totally crushing it in life right now, but it's like our friendship has kind of been on the back burner for both of us. I'm seeing someone new, and I'm not'm not gonna use the d word which is dating

but we're just we're kind of on different paths right now and i keep trying to have our paths cross and it's just been like miscommunication after miscommunication so i'm like can we please meet up when are you free i'm free those same times but then it's like we argue about something else and i'm just like oh my god i can't win but it's like i keep trying to just be like you know what just stop think about how she's feeling and it's like i was rereading our texts um this morning and i was like okay yeah that was a little harsh i definitely used my capital letters to make you know get over that and da da da and i'm like okay you could have been a little like that was just but i was so frustrated and I was being reactive and then it just ended with cool. Have fun tomorrow night.

And then it was like, that's it. And I'm like, okay, we're not going to leave it like this. So look for the light. Like classic example is a married guy. I'd be late coming home and I think, oh God, I'm in so much trouble. My wife's so unappreciative. I work so hard all day and I'm going to get yelled at when I get home. And that's what I got. Yeah. When I started driving home going, I am so blessed that my wife appreciates

the fact that I'm out here doing this. When I get home, I'm going to have this unbelievable, you know, wife and appreciates and loves me. And that's what I would get. It's amazing when you, I look for the light in so many people. It doesn't mean that I'm foolish, right? Like I'm a person who, if I keep looking for the light and you're not a person that I want to be around. Yeah. If you bleed me, I kill you in my relationship. It's cut. If you feed me, I will feed you.

But I have learned that because before I would just let people bleed me and my insecurity would allow them to stay in. I'll cut it. But I look for the light in everyone. Even the people that have harmed me and raised their weapons against me, I kill them with kindness. I kill them with my love and appreciation. In my mind, I try to understand where they're coming from and I pick one thing that I really admire about them. They're a good dad.

Even though they've tried to hurt me or harm me for whatever insecurity they have. My seven-year-old, he's now nine. He said it best. A bully threw a ball at his head when he got him out of tag ball. And I said, what'd you do? And he said, nothing. And I said, you didn't tell the yard duty? Because that's dangerous.

Yeah. He said, no, he's just insecure. Aww. How wise. A seven-year-old? Yeah, going on his 70s. Oh, my God. But that's pretty much what happens in every relationship.

Yeah. Somebody throws a ball at our head, and usually we pick it back up and throw it at their crotch, right? Or whatever. Right, yeah. Instead of, no, I did nothing. All I did was pray for their happiness, because obviously they're not happy. Yeah. And when we can resolve that, so many things in our lives.

When I look for the light in everything, I find light. Because there is light in everything, I find light. Because there is light in everything. There's darkness. And also, remember, one particle of light overcomes a million particles of darkness. So look for the more powerful source. It feels so good. And then you'll be motivated, motivated.

Exhaust yourself. Fall asleep. Wake up at 4 in the morning. Be more productive and accessible. Your whole life will change. You'll make more money, help more people, and have more fun. Wow. You wake up when I go to bed. Call me. I'll put you to sleep. We can meditate together when you go to bed. Yeah. Last week I looked at the clock and it was 5am and I just, I started with cleaning out one drawer i was just like okay i need to put these

clothes away and i need to clean out this drawer that one drawer turned into i i have six closets in my apartment so four of those were then gone into and then i was like oh i should get rid of this dress and then i'll do redo my shoes and then i'm like just back back back and forth that bohemian rhapsody on then i had rocket man on then i realized both of those movies have ended and i was like wait what time is it? And it was like 5.16 in the morning. But I got so much done. And I felt so great the next day that I accomplished a lot.

But it was just like, I just sometimes don't sleep enough because I'm always like, go, go, go. Routines, routines, routines. You'll be much more productive. Can you help us with meditation? I mean, I have my app, but that's all I've done. So for anyone who's kind of open to the idea and then they want to experience the benefits of it, but they don't maybe know how to get started or what's the best way to start. So apps are really good. There's Headspace and Calm.

There's a few out there. I say lower the bar with whatever you want to do. Exercise, meditation. Pick two minutes to find peace. Think about it in the simplest form. There's no thinking about it. Whatever comes your head's fine or whatever, but be more interested than interesting. I personally got a coach, right? Like my philosophy in life is why should I have to go through all the dummy tax myself? Why not find someone that sits in the situation that I want to be in? And so I had a coach. She knows theta meditation because it's based off of what I believe.

You can only be aware of that which vibrates equal to or less than you. That's so interesting to me, by the way. So I want to learn to vibrate faster. Yeah. But I got a coach that just talked me through it, somebody that knows what they're doing that I could call. We look at coaches. It's amazing.

And we're blessed to have some great football players over here. But I just am bewildered why people think a coach can just tell you something and not be on the sidelines. I'm a sideline coach. I'm one of the best business coaches in the world. And I'm not saying that in ego. I'm saying that because I have a quantitative, literally litmus test, that you will make more money from working with me than you ever pay me, guaranteed, or you don't pay me. When do we start? I'm good. Amaranteed. Or you don't pay me. When do we start?

I'm good. Yeah. Am I clocked in right now? Yeah, sure. But quantitatively, like if you do that, but nobody can do that. I'm on call to all my business coaching clients, 4 a.m. to 11 p.m. at night, seven days a week. Why? Because the most value I can bring is, hey, it's one o'clock and I can't go to sleep.

I'm worried about, okay, let's talk about, like you have to be there in order to explain the situation. But if you're there to coach someone, hey, I'm meditating, things are coming to my head. Is this what I'm supposed to be thinking about? You can't get that from an app. So I would say lower the bar, find a mentor or a coach. You can use YouTube, you know, and start.

But getting started lowering the bar is the best way to start anything you want to do in your life and do it every day seven days a week get the exponential results yeah so i have been using youtube and i've been just you know googling um we're not googling but searching for uh different guided meditations because i find that when they're speaking and i have something to focus on rather than just maybe sounds. Nothingness. Like the ones where it's like, okay, now your arms. Yes, like relaxing the body. You didn't do the women's circle with us when I did that, did you?

I wanted to go that day, but I didn't go. I felt like after acupuncture or after you smoke some really good weed, just that euphoric feeling. And it was from one of those guided meditations where it was just like, okay, now let your shoulders go. And now your thumb. And I'm like, when is this? But it was like every single aspect of your body. And I was like, at first, I'm like, oh, my God, this is going to take forever. And I'm just like laying there like low-key annoyed.

But I was like, you know what? Just embrace it. Just do what they're saying to do. You're here for this reason. And by the end of it, like when I kind of came to, I was like, whoa, I was in a trance. Yeah. And that's the like, for me, that's been the goal, because there's been times when I have hit that point. And I even said to you, I saw you the next day. I was like, I feel like I'm on the best drug ever. And I'm completely sober. But like, it just felt like all of my everything was heightened, all of my senses. And I was so

joyful. And, and I knew it had to do because of the meditation, but it's just been difficult for me to get into that spot every time when I try to do it. And I also don't do it every day. Yeah. It's a muscle. You need to do it every day, seven days a week, lower the bar if you can't do it every day. And it just, the re the reason every day is so important is that your body has a cellular

memory and it's really stupid. It only can remember what, from the time you open your eyes till the time you close, it's a conscious memory. But if you repeat, it gets smart and over 21 days or more, it creates a neural pathway in your brain. So there's 10,000 new inputs every day that hit your data here, your cellular memory that goes to your subconscious, which has 40,000 of the same thoughts. The neural pathway is when we access it, like studying Spanish, study Spanish every single day

gets into your subconscious. You access and speak Spanish every day. You become fluent because it, then it actually affects your DNA. Your DNA is something that's really unique. It's a quantum memory. It's the intermediate memories of subconscious to quantum memory could be four different generations of lifetimes. Or if you're a freak like me, I believe it's billions of lifetimes, like past lives. So the quantum memory is affected by how often we access what's in our subconscious. And this is where positive thinking and all these other things. So if you understand the conscious, subconscious and unconscious continuum, you realize the key is controlling the input that we get here and understanding the frequency of what we're putting out over here because some things that we put out no matter

what we do over here on the conscious side we are putting out a frequency that could be from our great-grandparents right alcoholism obsessive behavior yeah it's your personality traits characteristics obsessions and addictions and even worse if you're like me you believe it could be from lifetimes You don't even know about so I'm constantly trying to control my frequency I want the strength of my signal to be extraordinary the spectrum of my signal to reach all types of people and the clarity of My message to attract exactly what I want Yeah

And if I can do that through awareness that why is it I keep coming up with the same shortages, obstacles, voids into my life? Why is my relationships always come to this point? Personal, intimate or business relationships. Why is it always this is the thermostat? Ed and I talked about, you know, that internal thermostat. Right. We can change it by lowering the bar and having two minutes a day of something that then goes to the subconscious and then creates a quantum memory for us.

Yeah. Shifting our actual personality. And really two minutes a day is not a lot. I mean, you're guaranteed to go to sleep every night. Like that's one thing where if you just take those two minutes before you go to sleep, it's like you're going to go to sleep every day. So you do have time to do it. It's just, you know, managing that time. You'll get more time.

Yeah. You'll start realizing how much time you waste. Yeah. I'm a freak about that. I think these, like, I mean, and it sounds crazy because I feel like I'm just, I'm always on the go. If anyone who follows me on social media sees I'm in a different city every week. But I feel like these two weeks, that's why, like, I got invited to Vegas and I, like,

was like, oh yeah, it's Vegas. Like, I lived there last year. I have why I got invited to Vegas. And I was like, oh, yeah, it's Vegas. I lived there last year. I have so many friends, family there. And I was excited to go because I'm like, wow, I don't have anything on my calendar that weekend. And then last night, I was like, you know what? No, I'm not going to Vegas. I'm going to go. I just bought a beautiful house in Palm Springs that I've not been spending that much time at the last month because we're just at music festivals every weekend. And I was like, you i'm just gonna go to my house that weekend and just kind of decompress take a couple of my best girlfriends my mom and just like relax because i don't let myself do that enough and i feel like even though it's only two weeks that i'm here and i'm not leaving like that's like a chunk

of time that i'm like why am i not meditating every day? Why am I not at the gym every day? Which I have been, I mean, the two weeks are just starting, but I'm just like, I need to just keep that consistency because when I do it, I feel so much better. Yeah. And I think it's important for people like I separate things, activity I get paid for an activity I don't. And because I don't work, right? I'm seven days a week. So each day I'm balancing these things. And now I used to need time off because I overdid everything because I'm obsessive. And now it's so cool because I travel.

I mean, you and I should know each other from just airports as much as I see our social media. But I really think it's important people try to strive to where I don't feel like I'm taking time off or decompressing. Yeah. Because I live my life more at center now where it's like there's nothing to decompress from because every time I go off a trajectory, I go back to center first. And so it creates a seven-day unbelievable feeling. And I'm productive and accessible. It will drive some people crazy because they'll look at you and say, you're always working because they watch the videos. I'm like, I don't understand what work is because I'd pay two million dollars to play second base for the padres and that guy says

it's work yeah why is that work for him but not for me that's the way i look at my life and i think as in this stuff takes practice so i'm 30 some years older than both of you so you guys have a lot of practice i don't think you are no we're in our mid-30s. No way. Yeah. Okay, 20 years old. Yeah. I'm in my early 50s. You're not even. I'm old enough to babysit you, all right?

That's all I got to know. You're not old enough to be a dad. When I was 18. No, not yet. Thank goodness. I thought I was. I look it. No.

It's the Botox and the concealer. See, I take back this whole living thing I'm talking about. But I think it's important that you can live a life that's just joyous and you can be productive and accessible without feeling like you're working or you need a break. And when you get into that balance, you know, in the next 16 years practicing when you're my age, you can kill it and you'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm at my Palm Springs house once a week. And that's what I was doing. I made a time every week, even if it was just 24 hours or less, it's close enough to go whenever I could go right now if I wanted to, but it's far enough to feel like vacation. And that's the only time I really just like decompress. I don't have like, I mean,

I have smart TVs and whatever, but it's like, I don't have like, Oh, my DVR, I need to watch these shows and I need to do this. And like, I don't bring my computer, like, unless I'm doing a podcast out there, then I will. But I just kind of, I shut my phone off and I need to do this and like I don't bring my computer like unless I'm doing a podcast out there then I will but I just kind of I shut my phone off and I just kind of like enjoy Palm Springs but then it's like then I get to my phone it's like why are you answering I'm like oh sorry I'm trying to relax. Bring Palm Springs back

to Beverly Hills with you as well yeah find that light and bring it back here definitely well we're gonna go next weekend and maybe we get some like massages in home. Just have a nice, relaxing, meditative weekend. Amazing. Well, the last I know we got to wrap up in a minute, but the last time we were in Palm Springs, I felt like a hippie and no one was really getting what I was saying.

But I was just telling everyone that I had been recently practicing gratitude every morning when I woke up. that I had been recently practicing gratitude every morning when I woke up. And so my new routine is to go on my balcony, take my coffee, sit there by myself, and go through a list of everything I'm so grateful for. I mean, look where we live. We live in Southern California. How lucky are we to even live here in this beautiful weather and beautiful scenery? And just everything, food, shelter, all of our basic needs are met. And just to be grateful for all of that.

And I did that consistent consistently for as many days as I did up until we went into Palm Springs. And I was telling everybody this and I was like, I've never felt better. This is, and I was trying to, I don't know if I explained it as eloquently as maybe you can Dave, but like, I just, I took that feeling of feeling of gratitude and brought it into my life every single day. And so much more things, so many more good things came to me and were happening and more opportunities were happening because of it. And it's because it's always happening. It's just that gratitude unleashes the awareness.

It's all happening. It is. We're always connected. The most powerful force of energy and light. And we're creating corrosion. We're always connected, the most powerful force of energy and light. And we're creating corrosion. We're creating interference. And what happens through gratitude is when we start focusing in on the light of our life, the light of our light is that which we're grateful for.

So instead of thinking, I'm worried about this text, I'm worried about this email, I'm worried about money, I'm worried about my mortgage. And we start saying, oh, my gosh, I am so grateful that I live in paradise and that I have three homes and that I have these amazing friends that will do anything for me and I'll do anything for when we start looking at, oh my gosh. And all of a sudden you are actually opening the doors to everything of abundance, that there is everything for everyone. And there's even more. We were talking earlier, I was with my coach about doors that we don't see.

And one of the things about having a coach is that they show you doors that exist that you didn't even know were there yeah they show you dreams that you don't have and these dreams and perspective is everything i'm going to new jersey tomorrow for an event and the guy tells me i go what's i go i'm speaking you know what's the weather like oh it's really nice tomorrow i'm like look i go look it up justin he looks up it says 50 degrees and 99% chance of rain. And he's like, that's nice. Perspective is everything. He's finding the light in his environment where we find the light. And so gratitude to me is the biggest piece of advice. I know we have to go, but if you can just say thank you. Yeah. Not even make a list. Thank you for being here. I'm very grateful to you being here. I mean that. She's been talking about you for, I guess, a year now.

And I'm like, we got to get him in here. So we've just been traveling so much. I've been doing many mobile podcasts. But being back here in the studio at Podcast One, I'm so thankful that you were able to take time out of your very busy day to be here with us. And yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed all this amazing advice. I know I did. And let's all just be grateful and have a good day. And be happy with us. And yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed all this amazing advice. I know I did. And let's all just be grateful

and have a good day. Be happy. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. As always, a big thank you

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