Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Getting Deep with Tom Schwartz

Episode Date: July 22, 2022

 Scheana and Schwartz sit down for the first time one on one on the podcast. The two start this drinking and podcasting episode with a fun game of F**ck, Marry, Kill with VPR castmates. Next they discuss the opening of his new lounge “Schwartz and Sandy’s” and his new living situation before diving deep into the topic of divorce and what ultimately led to the end of his relationship with Katie. Schwartz gets very emotional and even sheds a few tears. What does he disagree with Katie on? Is he dating? Has he hooked up with anyone yet? Tune in to find out! Follow us: @scheana @scheananigans   Go to www.justthrivehealth.com and use code SHAY at checkout for 15% off   Go to www.apostrophe.com/SHAY and use code SHAY to get your first dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for five dollars   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. What's up, everyone? I'm Kristen Cavallari. And I'm Stephen Coletti. We're so excited to announce Dear Media's new podcast, Back to the Beach with Kristen and Stephen, where we'll revisit all of your favorite episodes of Laguna Beach, the real Orange County, and unveil behind-the-scenes secrets, tea, and all sorts of new insight into this groundbreaking show. So join us every Tuesday.

Available wherever you get your podcasts. I'm already feeling nostalgic. From Vanderpump Rules to Motherhood and everywhere in between, it's time to catch up with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans. And now, here's your host, Sheena Shea. Because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold. Because we're good as gold. Hello, hello, everyone. Welcome back. We are getting into some shenanigans today with one of my best friends, a groomsman in our wedding, now a two-time bar owner, recently divorced, but overall dope human being, Mr. Tom Schwartz. My God. See, didn't that amp you up a little bit?

I just like- I knew I had to give you a good intro. Thank you, Sheena. You're welcome. That was a grand introduction. Well, you are a grand human. I got my podcast voice going. Let's go. Let's get deep. Let's get deep. I'm an open book. Are you sure? No, no, no, I'm not. Anyways, I love you.

I appreciate that. And yeah, before we, you know, dive in, I just want to say, I appreciate everything you said last night. We opened the bar. Well, Yes. Soft opening. Congratulations. Last night, we had the Daily Mail party at Schwartz and Sandy's. It looks incredible in there. I can't wait to come back. I want adjectives right now. First impressions. Vibes.

Just vibes all over. The neon sign. Okay, because I have to say. I designed that. So dope. We designed that so we designed that so dope literally that sign that y'all had last summer when we were there and you know they saw the mexican flags up and all of that but that paper sign the cardboard that you held up i was like please tell me that's not what's going outside of this but i'm like yeah, yeah, it's great. And then, but the neon sign, Sheena, such a vibe. I'm going to tell you one of my lowest points in the past two years,

when I held up that bootleg cardboard sign, that is not me. I take great pride when it comes to graphic design branding. Well, I sound like a douche. Anyways. No. I love logos. No. I love all that shit. We got some good photos by it. I can't wait to post them. I'm just, I'm so proud of you guys. Oh, thank you.

And before we get too into it, because I want to talk all about last night. I've got so many questions. Yeah. I thought we could maybe lighten the mood and play a fun little game. Game at the top? Or it's going to be inappropriate, but. Oh, I'm not good at these. Mary fuck kill. Oh no, I can't do that. Are you down? I cannot do that. What? Okay, I'll do it, but. Oh God. You guys, this is going to be so awful. I'm going to qualify everything. I'm going to. So on shenanigans, sometimes, you know,

we like to exactly do that is get into some shenanigans and play some games. And this has been a popular one on the show. So. Hit me. Are you ready? Hit me with it. We've got Lisa Vanderpump. Oh,

definitely. All three. All three. And Raquel. Oh, fuck. Who's it going to be? Who's getting the ax? Who's getting the bang? Who's getting the axe who's getting the bang who's getting the mary sheena

i honestly was gonna cop out of this question i was gonna literally say stop the podcast but i will answer that let's do it mary fuck kill lala raquel l, Lisa Vanderpump. Mm-hmm. Okay. He's thinking. I think I'm going to marry Raquel. Oh, okay. Okay. I was going to say kill Lala, but we had a really nice moment last night. So you're going to kill Lisa? No, I was going to say kill Lala, but we had a really nice moment last night.

So you're going to kill Lisa? No, I was going to... You're going to bang Lisa. Yeah. I was going to kill Lala like before last night. Now you're struggling with it. I'm killing her all day. So last night we had the Daily Mail party.

What were you thinking going into, we're going to give a high five. What were you thinking going into this? Were you nervous? How did you feel? It's cliche, but it was a mixed bag of emotions because it's like opening a bar or restaurant, unless you're wealthy, I'm not wealthy.

It's an all consuming, everanding, unrelenting process. You know what I mean? I'm not used to being like, for instance, a podcast. For instance, a podcast, you know, we talked about this. And I was giving you a shout out because I know it's still fucking people like, oh, how hard is it how hard can it be to sit there and you talk but it's fucking it's a full-time job a podcast yeah but like opening a bar a restaurant is insane it takes a village and you have to be dependent

on so many other people which is very foreign to me you know what what I mean? It's like I'm in, when you're financing it, it's just, oh my God, it is unrelenting. Every single day you're writing checks to other people. Yeah. It's like you're financing a little village, but you know. But it's open. It's open. It's open. I think it's a vibe. It's such a vibe. I don't think I know. I'm being humble. I love it there. No, it's such a vibe. Thank you, Sheena. And you know what else is going to become a vibe? This apartment.

So we're sitting in Schwartz's new home and it's going to be a vibe, Schwartz. We're getting there. Okay? Okay. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. I got an idea. You know what? I have a game. Okay? I have a game. I have a game.

You have a game. Describe my apartment to your listeners. Oh no. Okay. So I walk in, there's a ton of boxes to the left that need to go to storage. So we're going to figure that out. The living room to the right, it's a vibe. I think you need a piece of artwork above the couch, but he's got a bunch of plants that are all very well kept alive. I hate to say that the plant you gave me for my birthday, it's struggling. We're trying to bring her back, but I'm not good with plants. You are good with plants. The plants are a vibe. We've got a cute fireplace, a little balcony, two bed, two bath. Yeah. It's going to feel like a home, but I can only imagine how it feels right now to move out of a home, your first home that you bought.

We skipped the starter home. We went straight to the big ass beautiful fucking, by my standards, mini mansion with a pool, a i know my god i was happy i think i was maybe too happy it's like remember we talked about this last night i was like for some reason like in not to get too deep but like i i'm a fan of capitalism but like you know the word content has like negative connot, but I was fucking content. I was so happy. Yeah. Anyways, I'm not dwelling on the past.

No, we're going to get to that a little later in the podcast, but I do want to just keep talking about the vibes. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Schwartz and Sandy vibes. Thank you, Sheena. I appreciate that. Yeah, anyways, I'm all over the place right now because I'm a little bit of a mess. It's okay. You're a little hungover. I'm a little hungover. But that's the thing.

We're technically also, we're doing a drinking and podcasting. We're doing a midday drinking and podcasting episode. So those episodes are always all over the place and that's okay. Okay, cool. I feel more comfortable now. All right. Speaking of drinks, favorite drink on the Schwartz and Sandy's menu.

Because I tried, I think almost, I might've tried one of everything last night. You did. The food was so good. I want to know, what are your favorite things on the menu? Okay. So our menu is just getting started. We have to do a lot more R&D.

We're going to shut down for at least two weeks, maybe three. And we're going to audition a lot of different things. Shout out to our chef, Matt Valdez. for at least two weeks, maybe three. And we're going to audition a lot of different things. Shout out to our chef, Matt Valdez. Also, Frankie, appreciate you. You helped curate our menu, but we're just getting started.

We have so much work to do. My favorite thing from last night, obviously a Juicy Lucy. Do you know what a Juicy Lucy is? Did you try the Juicy? I think you need to tell the listeners what's a Juicy Lucy. Okay. So it originated in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

A Juicy Lucy is a burger with American cheese, not cheddar, not... What's another cheese? Swiss, Provolone, mozzarella. Do you want me to keep going? Don't forget about Monterey Jack. Right? Pepper Jack.

Pepper Jack. No, that is a cheese. Monterey Jack. Anyways, yeah. Juicy Lucy is a cheese. Monterey Jack. Anyways, yeah. Juicy Lucy is a burger with molten American cheese inside. We did sliders last night. It has grilled onions, pickles. That's how it's traditionally served.

That was my favorite thing. Because it's sentimental. It's savory. And, you know, it's something from my roots, my hometown. And yeah. I love that. Did you try the toasted ravioli? The vegan toasted ravioli? No, because when they said vegan, I don't know. There's something about vegan cheese

that kind of freaks me out. Oh, I, by the way, I am on the cusp of veganism. I love vegan food. Yeah. I'm like, I ate a steak the other night and it's just like this big hunk of meat on a primal level. I like it. Yeah. But morally I'm torn. I don't know. Sheena. I know. So I don't know. We don't have to get into that. I get it. No. My, my old co-host Jamie is vegan and I sometimes I just have to skip through the stories because it breaks my heart, but I'm like, I know. Okay. We don't have to talk about it today. We're keeping it light today. Today's keeping it light. So let's talk about the design of the bar. How much of a role did you personally have in the bar?

Because I feel like people sometimes feel like Sandoval can kind of steamroll and make all the decisions and you're just there to kind of agree. But we know that you've had such a big role in this bar. So kind of talk about what your role was. I know you said the neon sign. Tell me a little more. Yeah. That's a common misconception in our friendship and a fucking lame narrative. Although on the surface, I could see how it can be perceived that way. Yeah. In defense of the people who see it that way. Yeah. In defense of, no, me and Katie, I mean, Tom have incredible flip for it.

He didn't slip. Damn it. I mean, me and Tom have an incredible relationship. Like talk to him next time he does the podcast. Ask Tom if like, I have, I have very strong feelings,

especially when I'm, you know, putting all my money on the line and everything. I have incredibly strong feelings. I'm stubborn about some things, but I'm diplomatic too. You know what I mean? The sign. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Such a vibe. I can't say it enough. Sorry. I'm rambling a little bit guys. The thing with the sign is I had a vision and I, and, and, and at some point I was like, you know what time and money, let's just, let's just, you just you know let's compromise let's just do a

simple one let's do an led sign and we made it i'll show it to you sheena and i saw it and i died inside i was like this is not representative of who we are we are better than this yeah i'm gonna show it to you it's fine but it was it was because that last sign that y'all had was not the vibe. No. It was like Schwartz and Sandys. It was so bad. Who approved this image? What I love about Sandoval is that we really do have a great balance friendship and partnership. But at the end, he's like Schwartz.

He's like, dude, make the fucking sign. Do it the way you wanted it. Do it the way we wanted it. I'm obsessed with it. And he's like, he's my champion. You know what I mean? He reminds me of like a tiki bar or something. It has tiki undertones. Yes, tiki undertones.

Not the bar, I'm saying the sign. Oh, the sign. Like when I see the sign, I feel like I'm about to go into like a tiki bar, like a vibey, foresty, starry night place. Like it just, it exudes exactly what Schwartz and Sandy's is the wallpaper you have like cheetah unicorn pegasuses like I don't even know what it was but it was an animal that shouldn't have wings with wings and they're like elephants and y'all

if you are in the LA area in a few weeks when they are open open like you have to go see it because now this is your first business you know that you've opened outside of lisa so yeah obviously with tom tom you guys probably didn't have as much say as far as the design so tom tom was fucking glamorous and it is it was so fun you we got to invest you know in my favorite part of los Angeles, literally, I love West Hollywood with all my heart and soul. All my formative years are there. King's Road. Yeah.

Well, we can get to that later. We moved all the stuff out the other day and Tom almost chopped off my toe. To be a business owner in that part of Los Angeles. Totally. Yeah. But anyways, so it was fun. It was glamorous. You know what I mean?

Yeah. We go in there. We do the old razzle dazzle the tom tom shuffle yeah and now that we're involved in every single decision we're writing checks every single day it's different it's daunting is not even the word what would you say

is the difference between Schwartz and Sandy's and Tom Tom as far as like vibes decor like what did you guys want to do to make this different to stand alone from that you know yeah I mean TomTom well you know that's Nick Elaine that's I know Vanderpump totally of course me and Tom put our heart and soul in there our spirit is in there yeah but like me for for better or for worse, me and Tom were involved in every single decision. Hence the reason it took a year and a half to open. Analysis paralysis. On certain things.

Yeah. Oh my God. It almost tore our friendship apart. Damn. I wish I was being melodramatic, but I'm not. You know what I mean? It put our friendship to the test. It's funny because we acknowledged that before we started the venture. And we're like, Tom, this is going to probably tear us apart. He's like, I know, but we got this. But, you know, we persevered. We worked through it.

It's like me and Tom do therapy sessions together. You know what I mean? Couples therapy? Yeah. Tom and Tom? Without the therapist. We're very good at letting the other person talk and just listening.

That's good. I probably should have talk and just listening. That's good. I probably should have done that with Katie. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, you know, lessons learned for the future. Yeah.

So what was the hardest part about getting this business open? Everything. But is there like one thing that really stood out that was, yeah, yeah. It's a great question and um to anyone who's ever romanticized the notion of opening a bar restaurant first of all do it just know that it will consume every single aspect of your life it will consume unless you're wealthy then you're fine you know what i mean well? But when you have a budget and time is money, it will consume every single aspect of your life.

I'm going to say that again because I know some of you are thinking about it. You want to open a bar. I don't. You have no idea. It's a lot. Just working in a bar. I can't even imagine opening one.

I cannot even imagine. On the surface, it sounds fun, right? I want a bar. I can't even imagine opening one. Thank you, Shayna. I cannot even imagine. It's on the surface. It sounds fun, right? I want a bar. I want a restaurant. You know what I mean? It's glamorous. But trust me, it's a fucking nightmare.

And a dream come true. Yeah. All rolled into one. Totally. I like that, actually. What lessons would you say you've learned in opening this business? And what would you tell your younger learned in opening this business? And like, what would you tell your younger self? Oh my God, I would tell my younger self. So

before we even move forward and like, you know, before we even bankrolled the endeavor, I would be in full agreement in terms of design, have a full 3d rendering because Lucinda is incredible. I love her. And she came up with this beautiful vision board. And we had like, you know, we had a 2D. Yeah, we had like a concept, but we didn't fully flesh out every single detail.

And that led to some chaos, to be honest. Because me and Tom have very strong opinions about, believe it or not, very strong opinions about style design, especially when it comes to the menu. Oh, I know. Cocktail menu. Like we're both surprisingly stubborn. I know I seem passive and I am. Well, I'm diplomatic, but I have very strong opinions when it comes to business. And yeah, it led to chaos, but we've reeled it back in, and I just, my advice to anybody out there who's listening,

make sure you have a full rendering, and you're all in full agreement about the design before you move forward, because time is money, you know, and- You said it led to chaos. Can I ask you a tough question? Yeah. Do you think it also-

Chaos is a strong word. Ultimately led to your divorce? I think it's too soon to even address that. But yeah, we talked about this last night. Remember, Sheena? Yeah, I cannot blame the bar. It's just that everything hit me at once, you know? Yeah.

The bar, the family completely falling apart, thinking my dad was going to die, my brother, cancer, and everything. It all came at one time. That's a lot. But leading up to that, I had like the coziest, happiest life. I was thriving. I had this big, beautiful house. I was madly in love.

I had money in the bank. I had a hot tub. I had a lizard. Aww. Dog. R.I.P. No, but everything was good. I had my shit together. I had a crypto portfolio. My stocks were soaring.

Life was good. It all came crashing down. And now I'm here. Now you're here in a new apartment, a new space. This is going to be the summer rebirth of Tom Schwartz. But it's the tail end of summer. How about the fall? I'm a fall guy.

We're only a month into summer. Can I have the fall? I'm not ready. You can have the fall. Your birthday's in the fall. Oh, October. Let's just say 20. Forget about my birthday.

First of all, birthdays, boycotting the rest of my life. No more birthdays. Wait, is it going to be 40 this year? Is that why you're boycotting? How would you say that? Are you 40 this year? Why would you say that? Are you 40 this year? Why would you say that? Schwartz!

Oh God, you guys. I can't do this. I'm not. Did you ever think, I think I said this the other day, I thought, you know, Vanderpump Rules would be on to see Jax's 40th. We saw that.

But did you ever think that we would still be here to see your 40th? Sandoval. Like people are turning 40. How are we 40? I know. We've been doing this 10 years. In some ways, like I had a whole separate life leading up to this show.

You know what I mean? I went to college. I had a semi-corporate job, like, you know, nine to five. I feel like we, what a weird little bubble we've been in. I don't want to break the fourth wall, but for a decade, a decade. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. This seems like a good time to take a little ad break and we're going to come back and talk about your divorce a little more. Yeah. Well, as long as I wish Katie was here. Okay. so if y'all didn't hear my interview with Tina Anderson from Just Thrive a few weeks back,

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on the podcast right after her and James broke up. And I know so many people reached out and just really appreciated her being so open because believe it or not, a lot of people get divorced and a lot of people can relate to it. You know, I wasn't until I got divorced at least. Okay. So fan of divorce yeah tell me why well it's hard not to feel like a statistic yeah cautionary tale coulda woulda shoulda but what what coulda woulda shoulda you done do you think differently let's come back to that the reason i'm a big fan of divorces i've seen what it looks like when people stay together out of some sort of ridiculous notion till death do us part.

Let's stay together for the kids. It is one of the saddest things in life. Listen, people grow apart, people change, people fall out of love. I won't say embrace it, but like, you know, yes, lean into it. Don't stay with someone out of some sort of conventional sense of tradition or like, help me here, Sheena. I'm sure, I know you've seen it play out. I've been there. Yeah. By the way, I've also been surrounded by divorce my whole

life. I have like two friends in my life whose parents aren't divorced. Maybe. And I have a lot of friends. My parents aren't. So I might be the third friend unless I'm one of those two. Okay. Yeah. Out of maybe the 200 friends I have, I think maybe three people's parents aren't divorced. Totally. But that's great. We talked about this last night. We're rebranding divorce. Yes. I just think that, you know, those tough things that a lot of people go through in life, when we do have a public platform, it's important to talk about those things because that's why I like doing what I do is if my story can help one person and they can relate to it, I feel like I'm doing a good job in life and literally in my job. That's why I love doing this podcast. You know, we were able to talk about anything we want and

so many people listen and relate and it helps people. Yeah. And by the way, you've been working that muscle. Being able to talk is a muscle. Yeah. Mine's kind of soft right now. We'll get you there. Yeah. So how has life been? The so with the deep breath. Single for the first time in a long time. Are you still flirting? Are you getting numbers when you go out? Are you embracing this new single at all?

Or are you just like, no, no, girls are bad. I don't want that at all. Have you made out with anyone? Is there anyone you want to make out with? Like kind of no, there's no one I want to make out with. There's zero mojo. No. Well, I've, of course I've made out with people. Well, well don't say of course I'm asking. Well, I'm a makeout slut, but no, like I just have zero desire to get out there and date people. And I'm so consumed with my own BS. I feel like it's not fair to whoever I potentially would go on a date. I feel like I would just probably start crying.

We would have like four cocktails and I would start crying and talking about my dad or like not my divorce. But so this is kind of how Raquel and Peter's first date went where she ended up crying talking about her engagement after like four martinis yeah you might need to have a date like that where you just you go out with the right person who's maybe like a friend of a friend like maybe a cute friend of Brock's who you know can understand I knew this what you're going through I'm not saying you have to but I'm just saying you know maybe it would be good to just go out on one date just to see.

I know you say like, Oh, I'm not ready for that. And I totally get that. And I will support anything you want, but I'm also here to be your cheerleader and not just you. I'm also here to be Katie's cheerleader. Yeah.

I talked to her. I fucking love Katie. Yeah. I know. Anyways. Yeah. Katie is like, Oh, I know she's out there and she's probably dating. I fucking love Katie. Yeah, I know. Anyways. Yeah. Katie is like, Oh, I know she's out there and she's probably dating. I've learned my lesson.

I'm keeping my eye out for her too. I had a really good chat with her last night. I was like, okay, so what's your time? And she goes, why do you have someone in mind? I'm like, well, we've, we've got a lot of people coming to this wedding next month and there will be options for all single parties so i just kind of wanted to see where you're at where she's at you know what what you're do you think your type has changed i know you're not looking for anything right now but if you were

what would you say a quality is that you're looking for in a future partner and this could be future future i don't know actually uh maybe somebody's easy like a sunday morning and i am easy i mean i have depth and i like you know i just like people who are easy you know i mean easy to get to bed with just no i know what you mean just easy to get along with i'm sorry you want to go back to the bar do you want to talk about what the hardest part of getting divorced has been yeah actually god i know it's like i cry a lot but it's i think it's it's okay to cry though that cries a lot too i love i had a great cry with Brock the other night. Really nice cry. I love that.

What people don't realize is like after... I've also seen people break up and I can see how nasty and vindictive people can be. And sometimes it's warranted. You know what I mean? But like as much as it broke my goddamn heart, me and Katie's separation was really, really healthy, you know? Yeah. She sat me down and she told me and I felt that in my heart. I just, you know.

I was going to ask. How did the conversation happen? It hurt, but it's like I respected it. You know what I mean? Did you feel it was coming? Like did you know? Yeah. Well, we hung out the day of at the tonal party.

It was that day? Right before I went, she said something that I'll never forget that broke my heart. She's like, we need to have a talk. And I was like, okay. Oh, no. That is not something anyone ever wants to hear. Those words. It gets worse.

Oh, no. She goes, a serious talk. Oh, no. And I don't know. I'm so, I guess I've never really thought too much about it. But, you know, I came and hung out with you. Remember we had a good day. Yeah.

We had summer there with us. Shout out to Tonal. Yeah. I love Tonal, but um. Where are we going to put your Tonal? I don't know. Right over there.

Now in hindsight, it was a little ominous or like foreboding. She's like, we need to talk. But like, you know, it's not like we need to talk. It's like she looked into my soul and said,

we need to talk. And I was like, into my soul and said we need to talk. And I was like, okay, we'll talk. Did your heart and like stomach just like sink and drop in? Yeah, but I was also so hyper consumed in my little world. I've been like in a parallel universe, my little bubble. I was like, yeah, we'll talk. And she's like, no, like grab my soul. And she's like, yeah, a serious talk.

And I'm like, ooh. No one ever wants to have a serious talk i don't want any more serious talks no i will it's hard obviously it's one thing to have a deep conversation about a serious topic but when they're like we need to talk sheena i can only imagine i went and i had a good time like i was present yeah we were hanging out you brock I went and I had a good time. Like I was present. Yeah. We were hanging out. You, Brock. We were kicking.

I got a good workout in. So set the scene for me. You get home from the tonal event. You had a good day, but you know, going back into your house that there's a serious conversation you need to have. So what was the first thing she said to you? And when did you know that it was a divorce she wanted? Or did she just come out and say, hey, I want a divorce? I mean, I think I came back in with the Mr. Everything's going to be okay

energy, you know? I almost tried to sweep it under the rug. But at that point, Katie had made up her mind, you know? And, you know, we did sat down. We did sat down. We did. What the hell was that? Cut that out. No, we sat down and, you know, she told me she broke it down and man, she was eloquent and, you know, she chose her words very carefully and she, you know, explained it to me and, you know, my heart broke. Did she say that this was the way she was feeling for a while? Yeah. And that's, you know, so many people, you know, Lisa asked me. She's like, you know, I run through these stupid hypotheticals. Like, if it wasn't for the bar, would we still be together? Yeah, we probably would.

A hundred percent, I think we would. But, like, yeah, like I told Lisa last night, I know better than to blame the bar. Like, I just kind of fell blame the bar like I just I just kind of fell apart I think I had it too good for a while the universe was like Schwartz you got it too easy man you're riding high I'm playing poker I got cash in the bank traveling I'm madly in love talking about kids I just had it too easy but I don't you think that you took that for granted never for one no, but I'm glad you said that never for one second. You know what I mean? I appreciate it every moment. Do you ever

feel like you put your marriage on the back burner to focus on the bar? That's what I mean by taking it for granted. Like, you knew Katie was always going to be there. Not like your opportunities or anything like that. I mean, your marriage, like, did you take Katie for granted? Just thinking for granted just thinking you know I'm just gonna focus on all this because we're great and I'm happy in our marriage and blah blah blah do you feel that way at all never okay never took it for granted yes did I I just I think I checked out but it was by necessity yeah am I wrong you gotta call me out here I talk talk to me i feel like i just like i just was trying to fly home non-stop and my dad was like every other week i was like is he gonna die is he gonna live and like and i can't even imagine how tough that was with everything you were going

through with your family that's why i kept checking in with you just to make sure you're okay because i know you were going through that and then on top of you know her asking for a divorce but mad respect to her, which I know is very hard for you to feel like she's leaving me in a time when I'm so down. But I think it was harder for her to be honest. That's what I'm saying. I think it was harder for her to stand up and say how she feels. Yeah.

And people are not easy. I know. And people are like, dude, she left you when you were at your lowest point. Like that's fucked up. I'm like, so is she supposed to stay around unhappy? Exactly. You know, she she supposed to stay around unhappy exactly you know she's supposed to stay with me out of pity for a few more months a few more months while i get my shit together it's not a few months and it's a few years and then we all deserve

to be happy and she wasn't you only get as far as we know you only get one shot here on this big beautiful planet and um i would be if i found out she put her happiness on hold i would be you know how depressing that is out of pity she stayed with me yeah hell no i'm i just yeah i just do you think there's a world where one day you guys would get back together because you do hear those stories about people who are divorced getting remarried that's okay never say never okay but like if katie was to walk in right now and just like burst in the door like in the movies and like shorts i want to get back together i made a mistake i would i would be flattered but i would have to say no which is weird it's like a paradox because i'm so madly in love with her

but like there's, there would always be that seed of doubt. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'll put a 10 year timeframe on it. Maybe in 10 years, me and Katie could get back together, but no, she's Katie's in a, Katie is about to, no, I'm not about to, she is fucking thriving. Katie's about to have some sort of Maloney Renaissance. Yeah. I'm going to stay sad for another six months and do my little pouty thing. If I have anything to say about it, let's try and shorten the six months, okay? Let's not just wallow in an apartment

filled with boxes and sparkly water bottles. Let's spruce this up. I use those for squats. Okay. I mean, you know, use what you can. It's just okay yeah before we

you know pivot to the next topic I just want to say guys I don't want to be a cautionary tale but don't be Mr. Eventually don't spend too much time in the past don't spend too much time in the future

you know don't suffer wait I've been reading some stoicism lately what's that one quote don't suffer unnecessary pains've been reading some stoicism lately what's that one quote don't suffer unnecessary pains before you get there something like that anyways i think i spent too much time in the future i'm crying my nose is running i am mr fucking eventually yeah i said this i am mr once i get x amount of money in the bank, once I open the bar, once I make sure my family's okay, then we will go on a romantic fucking getaway.

It's like I missed her eventually. I think I had a hard time. That's not just you though. I think a lot of men are that way and maybe a lot of women too. So what would you say to, you know, the friends and the people out there who say that you guys got divorced because you never had Katie's back. Do you feel that you were genuinely a supportive

partner and that you put her first? Ever? It's a gross oversimplification of a very deep, deep, loving, nuanced relationship. You know what I mean?

But also, Katie said this last night at the bar. She still feels that way, like I never had her back, which, you know. Do you disagree with that? I do disagree with that. But I will acknowledge her feelings, and I will agree with her that a lot of the time I was very quick to dismiss her feelings, you know, when she's upset with someone, she's annoyed with someone. Sometimes she just wanted to vent and I'm like, Mr. Well, put yourself in their shoes.

I mean, and that's where you and I have always related. I think, by the way, I think that's overall, like it's weird. Within the confines of a relationship, it can be misconstrued as not having someone's back or being wishy-washy. But I just, yeah, I think it's a, for the most part, it's a good thing. It's a good thing to try to see the other point of view. I agree. It's a good thing to try to see where someone else is coming from. you. I agree. It's a good thing to try to see where someone else is coming from. But also, sometimes

just shut the fuck up and let your person you love vent and listen to them. I will say though, Brock and I struggle with that too. You do? But in your defense, you keep going. I'm sick of talking about myself. No, you're the guest on the podcast. Oh, okay. I will say

in the beginning, she abused that part of our relationship. She was say in the beginning, she abused that part of our relationship. She was like always in a fight, always demanding I take her side. It's either me or Sheena. Don't talk to her. When she's upset with someone, she wanted unconditional loyalty early on.

This is early on. No, I remember. She's put so much work into herself, and she's evolved. But early on, I think some of my passivity or like, what do you want to call it? How do we label what that was?

My inability to have her back. Yeah. I think it stems from an early part of our relationship, which we've worked through when we've done therapy. I just, yeah, she was over the top, you know? No, I remember I was on the receiving end of that yeah when she was upset with someone I was not allowed to talk to them yeah or like she would be so pissed if hypothetically say you just got in a huge fight with her it's been a week and then we're at a party and I'm just having a beer and I'm like Sheena what's up I'll give you a hug oh no that

was not okay she would be so pissed. So pissed. But then there was that time when you really did have her back and you called me a bootleg Kardashian and everything else. I still have those texts in the screenshot, like saved in my favorites album. Cause sometimes on a rainy day, I just read it and it's fucking hilarious. And you send it to me sometimes. I do. I'm like, remember this? Do you have it? I do have it. What I want to know if you still have is do you still have the tattoo?

Wow. Yeah, I have the tattoo and I've been thinking about this. I've been talking about this with Sandoval and well, some of my other close friends. I thought about changing it to Bubba Gump shrimp because I love Bubba Gump shrimp. Oh, that's funny.

But I- Kind of like Lala's brand new. Yeah. The thing is, I love and cherish that time in my life. And unless Katie asked me to remove it out of respect for her new relationship or her new boyfriend, husband, whatever, I'm keeping that.

Okay. Or if someone I fall in love with is, if I fall madly in love tomorrow and she's like, listen, I love you. You're cool as shit. Okay. Okay. Style. Yeah.

You're a bar owner. The thing is, I just, I, the ex wife's name tattooed on your ass kind of like bothers me. It's a pet name. It's a pet name. It doesn't say Katie. By the way, if someone was like, you need to remove that, immediately the relationship's over with the new girl.

I got that. You need to remove that tattoo. I'd be like, go fuck yourself. I'm a gangster now. Go fuck yourself. Well, speaking of, you didn't tell me to go fuck myself, but I did find the text. Are you ready for this?

It's my favorite. Sheena, you didn't tell me to go fuck myself, but I did find the text. Are you ready for this? It's my favorite. Sheena, you have a load of fucking audacity to call anyone fake on this show. You are a veneer of a human. Fake on the inside, fake on the outside. Lost in your pursuit of fame. If you didn't smoke weed and make bomb ass enchiladas, you would just completely suck altogether. Yeah, I'm a makeout slut and I'm sloppy, but I'm real.

You are a vapid fame vampire, thirsty for social media attention and validation. The human selfie. And as you can see, I just responded with three laughing, crying emojis. read. Also, you do love your family a lot. So that's awesome. Nails got to go though. Sorry to be a dick. It just has to happen sometimes. I need a wake up call from being a sloppy drunk douche. You need it from being a self-imaged obsessed social media monster. Smoke a joint, then reread this. Let it sink in. Thank me later. And then we went and got coffee the next day and laughed about it. And we've never had an argument since. Can I just say something? That was obviously a reflex. It sounds like,

it sounds like, you know, like I had been thinking about that or like, you know, it sounds like Katie was in your ear maybe that night too. Like you better not be nice to Sheena. I'm glad you read that. Cause I think honestly,

Sheena, I think some people, some. Cause I think, honestly, Sheena, I think some people, some of, I think some people perceive you as that, but I will say right now, as I'm sitting here on the podcast, you have, you,

yeah, you have, your heart is massive. Thank you. Yeah. You're a great human being. Thank you. That was kind of anticlimactic.

You know? No, but you, I know. Good times. Jesus Christ. I did know. No, but you, I know. Good times. Jesus Christ. I did not. No, I fucking love you, Sheena.

I love you too. I'm not just saying that because I'm sitting here right next to you. I think I'm at a point where I could be like, hmm, some of that's true. None of that's true. In that moment, I felt that. Honestly, it didn't even hurt my feelings because I knew it wasn't true. And I genuinely laughed about it. I remember

calling Rob and reading it to him and we were both just like, LOL, literally LOL. I'll write that. But you know, they always say there's three sides to every story. There's your side, my side, and then there's the screenshots. Screenshots don't lie. By the way, I don't think I've ever told you this podcast exclusive oh i woke up that morning and the first thing it hit me like a fucking ton of bricks i felt a guilt a shame that i cannot describe to you i don't have the words i know i like words and i just have no way to describe to you how horrible i felt. Ask Katie, get her on the podcast.

Yeah. I felt so bad. I paced around my room and I'm like, what the, like, of course it felt good to have Katie's back, you know? No, and I was even giving you a round of applause that night. I was like, good for you, Schwartz, for once you have her fucking back. Good for you. That was patronizing though.

Of course it was. But I wasn't even mad at you because I was in that moment also proud of you because you've never, you'd never really had stood up for her. I felt it in the moment, but then woke up the next day. I was like, Oh my God, I should make a merch that says bootleg Kardashian. We should bring it back. Okay. So a lot of people want to know, where does it stand with the pups? Do you guys have joint custody? Because clearly they're not here.

Yeah. So yeah, we have joint custody. We do one week on, one week off. Okay. We don't split up the dogs ever. Okay. Love that. You know, we don't want them to be children of divorce.

And, you know, she loves them with all of her heart and her soul. And I do too. And we have a great balance. But like instance once in a while i asked her to watch the dogs for one more day and she went off on me and she's not wrong she needed to respect my time but also like this is one of the biggest most stressful moments of my entire life the build-, like I just needed one more day. And she, you know, I don't need the fucking lecture. Boundaries though. I don't know.

Yeah. Boundaries. But like, again, I can put myself in her shoes. And if the rules were reversed and she, she needed one more day, you would say,

okay, yes, of course. Take a week. Totally. Not to be Mr. Self-righteous. You guys are different people.

We're different people. So you handle things differently. 100%. I'm cooler. I think you both are pretty cool. Yeah. You have your own ways of being cool. We have our own vibes. But anyway. Yeah, no, that's a good question. Hit me with some other ones. So you're a groomsman in our wedding. Is there a particular bridesmaid you would maybe want to walk down the aisle with? No. Raquel? Oh, I love Raquel, but no. I've already paired her off with someone, but.

Let's go back to Raquel, actually. Let's talk about Raquel because. Raquel is like. A few months ago. There's a Raquel-essence. On the podcast. Raquel-essence? A Raquel-essence?

By the way, I just never, I was so, you know, caught up in my own little world and I was married and never took time to get to know Raquel. She's fucking dope. She's cool as shit. So a few months ago. Shout out to Raquel. She's fucking dope. She's cool as shit. So a few months ago on the podcast, Raquel and I talked about how there was this rumor online that you guys were making out at Coachella.

When you weren't even at Coachella. I wasn't at Coachella. But we figured out was that someone thought you were Brock's friend, Joey, but who she also didn't make out with at Coachella. Yeah. So I was like, I didn't make out with at Coachella. So I was like, I didn't know how that got mixed up.

But when you saw those rumors, do you think and Katie saw those rumors, do you think people for one second thought they were true? Because I know James did. James definitely did. I think James still does. No, we've had like five heart to hearts over this.

Would you make the rumors true? It took like three conversations for him to believe me, I think. Don does. No, we've had like five heart to hearts over this. But for honestly- Would you make the rumors true? It took like three conversations for him to believe me, I think. Don't avoid my question. Wait, say it again. Would you make the rumors true? She just- I don't know what to say. She made a comment the other night.

We were talking about how this got brought up and she was like, yeah, I haven't made out with Schwartz yet. You said that? She said that. No, yeah i mean yeah i i don't know what a couple tequila shots and who knows yeah i'm just i mean i was chatting about this the other day with my buddy who i won't name but rakella's i just she was always cool i just never really took time to invest in her wait that's a horrible way to phrase it. I never really gave her a chance to like, I was, she was a lot younger than all of us. You know, she, they had a long distance relationship and she wasn't always around, but the last couple of years that I've really, you know, gotten to know her and even just over the last eight months since she's been single,

I mean, she is a new woman. I am so proud of her. Yes. She's just, Raquel's a vibe. Raquel's a, but while we're on this topic, I've, you know, Mr. Diplomacy, I got to give James a shout out too. Yeah. James has put so much work into himself. I mean, professionally and personally.

I can tell. He's crushing it with the shows right now. He, man, it's like, I'm closer with James than I've ever been in my entire life. You know? I love that. You know, I used to hate him. then oh in the beginning i hated him and then we sort of had like we were kind of friends tentative friends yeah now we're like we text each other we call each other he's my buddy now yeah which is cool anyways i had to give him a shout out before we get back to raquel yeah by the way ali's amazing too. Allie, you're awesome. Yeah. She's a sweetheart.

Anyways, back to Raquel. She, yeah, I just, she has so much depth and character. She really does. I know. And I just, yeah, I might, I think I wrote her off as maybe. Okay. Well, maybe don't keep writing her off. Oh yeah. You know? I mean, I think I do that with a lot of people. I think people do that in general, you know? You put someone in a box as a matter of necessity, right?

And it's like, you know, I don't know. We got a lot of shit going on here. Everyone's got their own problems. Yeah. This is this type of person. This is this type of person. It's Friday. Tomorrow, we have Tom Sandoval and the Most Extras show in Agoura Hills.

I'm so excited. Are you excited? I think we should pregame. I think we need to get the gang together. We need to pregame a little. I'm torn because, you know, right now in this moment, I've never been more excited for a show. I'm so proud of Tom for doing that. Yeah.

But on the other hand, you just want to sulk? No, no, no. I think we need to go to couples therapy because him in that band, he started at the worst possible time. So they're not going to be your house band at Schwartz and Sandy's? Oh no, they are. A hundred percent. Me and Tom are in the best place he's ever been. But I mean, like I said, going back to what we talked about earlier, this bar like almost tore us apart. And all of a sudden, Tom. And then he starts a band. He literally, I mean.

Not just a small band. It's no simple thing. It's a 10 piece orchestra. Yeah. You know what I mean? They have merch. They went on a tour. Meanwhile, it's like, you know, we're four months behind schedule with the bar and whatever.

It's just like, yeah, that was hard for me. But we've been working through that, talking through it. And God, it feels good to say that I'm just like back in love with, I mean, I never fell out of love with him, but he's like, it really almost tore us apart. This whole venture anyways, you know. It's a lot. It's a lot.

Anyways, yeah. Have you, well, you obviously you've seen them. It's, they're fucking great. They're so good. I'm telling you guys, if you were in the LA area and it's not already sold out, which honestly it probably is

because they're awesome. Yeah. Come see the show. It's going to be so much fun. July 23rd, Agoura Hills. July 23rd. By the way. Canyon Club or something.

By the way. Yeah. By the by. Our GM, Brett. Shout out to our GM, Brett. Yeah. He helped open agorahills no way club in agorahills wow yeah small world small world well i know you have been going through it lately and brock and i want to be here to support you we want to be here to support katie

we want to be your cheerleader your your wing woman, your best friend, whatever you need. We are here for you. We're going to go see Tom Sandoval and the most extras this weekend. It's going to be so much fun. And thank you for doing my podcast. I know you're not like a big podcaster, so I appreciate you being so open and so honest and just talking about, you know,

your journey and where you're at now. Thank you, Sheena. Of course. Which is, yeah, again, maybe it's, I don't know if it's a paradox, but I fucking love podcasts. I have like 20, 30 that I listen to daily, but I don't like being on podcasts. This is my podcast voice, by the way. I love your podcast voice. I think you did a great job. This is a great episode. And thank you so much. I'm so proud of you. Seriously. Congratulations on the new bar. I know you don't feel like this is a home just yet, but it's going to feel like a home. We're going to get your mojo back. We're going to get that BDE. Let's get it back. You know, it's the resexification of Schwartz

Let's do it Okay Thanks for listening guys Bye Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea Download new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts Looking fine and I got my girls with me you get your podcasts.