Scheananigans with Scheana Shay -  Less Stress & Self Care with Monica Foitzik

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

On this episode, Scheana is joined by Monica Foitzik for another drinking and podcasting episode. Monica specializes in acupuncture and Chinese medicine and has her own practice in San Diego. They talk about holistic health and how acupuncture saved Monica from years of back pain. They also discuss EMDR therapy, Reiki, twin flames, and the importance of self-care. Scheana reveals a reading she had with a medium and you won’t believe who her Cosmic Soul Mate is… Tune in to find out!   Follow us: @scheananigans @scheana     Produced by Dear Media  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello, everyone. We are doing a little drinking and podcasting from my couch in San Diego. We have my friend Monica, who has been on the podcast before. We did an entire episode talking about acupuncture and Reiki and past lives and wives. And what was the episode called? It was like past lives and sister wives. Oh yes. Yes. Is it been over a year?

Has it been? Cause I was staying here and it was in January. Oh my God. It's been a year. It's our year anniversary of living together. Anniversary. Okay. Cheers to that. So baby is down. We're having a little wine and we're going to get into some things, do a little life update because it's been a year. And then I want to talk about what you've been up to. And for those who didn't hear the last episode, you can go back and listen to it. But I want to do just another brief of the benefits of acupuncture and Reiki because it's something that I do regularly. And I've had a lot of people recently on YouTube, I asked, what do people want to see? And they're like, what's your day in the life? What do you do for self-care? And this is my go-to thing. Whenever someone's like, oh, do you meditate? Do you just like take long walks on the beach? Like, what do you do? And I used to do a lot of meditating, but now I'm so afraid to get into like a deep

sleep state that I just don't allow myself to. So at night, my calm app has now turned into the white noise from the baby monitor. Oh, life of a mother. Yeah. So this is what I do for my self-care. And if it wasn't for you, I mean, I'm convinced Summer wouldn't be as chill of a baby as she is if it wasn't for all the work you did on me while she was in the womb. I think that's true. Most of the babies that come through my practice are quite chill, loving, plump, cute babies.

Okay, maybe I'm being exaggerating, and I just believe that's true. But yes, they're super cute and super healthy. Yeah. So how long have you been doing acupuncture? So, yes. Well, let me start with this. Sheena is probably the most dedicated patient I have to her self-care, which I love.

I wish every patient was like that because it's so balancing. You have to be consistent. Consistency is key, especially in this time where she's going through so many life changes, especially being a mother. And thank God she has a support system.

She does with Brock, her mother, and all the other amazing people around her because I do have to say that it's not easy for a mother to come in as regularly, but it's so crucial to them maintaining mental, physical, and emotional self-care so they can be the best mom. So she's showing up as her best self because she makes this, honestly, if you calculate the time, like a little bit of time for herself to be her best self. So awesome. Awesome.

But well, thanks. Yes, you deserve that credit. It's the best. And we just realized that tomorrow we have to go to LA. So I had to cancel my appointment. I'm like, oh, but it's just, it's my, like, I have to go twice a week. We're down here in San Diego full time. This is my routine. This is all I do. Whenever people are like, we want to come visit you in San Diego. I'm like, cool. There's two hours a week that I do acupuncture. Other than that, I'm free. That is my schedule. So we're diligent. Yeah. So what do you think like pregnant women, non-pregnant men, like I know Brock has seen you. What do you think is the biggest benefit from acupuncture? What are the most common reasons people come to you? And yeah.

Absolutely. Well, let me go back. So I found acupuncture, I'm 35 now when I was, I want to say 22 or 23 years old. And like most Americans, I found acupuncture in desperation. I had super severe back pain. I mean, I think from 19 to 22 or 23, I couldn't even push a grocery cart in the store without like keeling over. I was a professional dancer, but I also had this history of being easily stressed out as a child, as a teenager, like not sleeping, having migraines, like going to school, falling asleep all the time, my stomach hurt all the time. So now that I know what I know about natural health

and holistic health, that was a long time coming that I wasn't taking care of myself. And it was my back screaming at me, like you have to change what you're doing because what you're doing isn't working. Your lifestyle isn't working. So I tried Cairo and massage, and those are great modalities. But because of the damage I had laid, it wasn't enough.

So the sweet massage therapist, I wish I remembered her name, she goes, I think you need to try acupuncture. And she gave me this referral to this pretty amazing practice called Acusport in Ocean Beach. And some of our mentors are there. And I'm not kidding you, one treatment, I had like 90 to 95% relief. I mean, my pain was starting in my mid back, up my neck, and then radiating down my leg to the point there was one time after a long Palm Springs gig, I tried to get out of my car and I fell. No. I fell out of the car and I laid there on the ground going, this is not my life.

Something needs to change. This is not okay. And the other part of it is what we usually use is like Tylenol, Advil. I was choking down like so much Advil that the repercussion was me having ulcers. And I ended up in the hospital at one point with like severe anemia because I was bleeding out. Like I had no idea because I didn't know anything about health until I went into the schooling. So it was just, and I'm sure so many people can like resonate with that, like how bad their pain, whether that's mental or physical can be. And you just get to a point like, yeah, stick whatever effing needle you got. Like is that,

if that's going to fix it, I will try that. So that's where I was at. And I was so blessed that this woman just took good care of me. And it wasn't until we had a conversation about, what do you do? You're getting to know your acupuncturist, this person you see every week or every other week. And I go, oh, I got my BA in journalism. I worked at a publishing company, but I graduated in 2008 when everything crashed. So along with that crash went my job. And so I was living this beach life. I don't even know what I was doing. I was just actually chilling for the first time and resting and dancing and bartending, all these arbitrary things. And she said, well, it's funny that you bring that up

because my first degree was in journalism and I write for a hospital, but I also am an acupuncturist and my head like turned on a swivel. I was like, wait, so you went to school, did journalism and then you changed your mind and you also became an acu, like you didn't have to be a doctor

or like what, like my head didn't even understand like what this was. And she goes, yeah, I did that. I was on Google, like lightning speed. Like I was like, wait, I'm thinking if for me to move forward in my career, it's got to be in writing. I have to like keep going in that direction, that trajectory. Monica, you decide when you're 12, you're going to be a writer. This is what you're going to do. Yeah. So I looked it up.

And one of the best schools in the nation is in Mission Valley, which is San Diego, which is where we are. And I don't even, it literally was a matter of months. I think this happened spring. And I was at some open house at the school and I was enrolled in school incurring debt by September. And I was just like, I didn't even hesitate. I think the one question I asked was one of my friends in law school and she goes, it's called a happy tax, Monica. To do what you love, sometimes you have to incur a debt

so that you can continue to do the things that you're meant to do. And I was like, all right, sign me up, check, let's do this. And I did it. So that's how everything started. And since then, it's been an amazing experience of not only experiencing my healing, which I think is so important. If your healer doesn't have a healer or healers, I would reconsider. I mean, some people can have amazing habits, but I think it's important to experience what you do. And I try my hardest to learn through always checking in with myself, always seeing what someone else is doing. And that's been the biggest teacher. So with that said, my biggest recommendation for people is it's really a balance of when you receive,

what is your lifestyle? So I go through periods where I'm ramping up my business, or maybe I'm being more physically active. I'm going to need more treatments. Yeah. Whether that's acupuncture or Reiki or chiropractic or massage or therapy. At any one time, I'm kind of reassessing and trying to have some stable self-care. And when I don't, which actually has been another recent experience, shit hits the fan. a recent experience, shit hits the fan. So I really recommend that people who, I always say, I mean, do you want to live in pain? I know it's hard to try new things, but I just think it's so important that let's try something new because your life can be so amazing. And I don't ever want to go back to that place that every day was a migraine. Every day was figure out how to get through back pain. And unfortunately, there's people like that. If

you look right and left, especially now in this harsh COVID state that we live in, but you have so many options to feel better, like feel good about your life, feel emotionally balanced. And it doesn't only require you to figure out exactly what you need to do for yourself. Yes, that's important. Every coach needs a coach and there's someone that can help guide you or pull you up out of the dirt. And then you can start stabilizing what your self-care is. And that's what acupuncture did for me big time. is. Yeah. And that's what acupuncture did for me big time. Yeah. My mom just saw you for the first time and I wish she was down here enough to like see you as regularly as I do because that was like so good for her. And my mom, as you know, is not someone who's just like, sure, I'll try that.

But when I said acupuncture, she was like, oh yeah, that's something I've thought about before. I would try that because she has like early stage arthritis, osteoporosis, whatever it is, like in her hands. And her hands are really bad right now. And, you know, she has a granddaughter to hold and meals to cook and a phone to text on and scroll for TikToks and everything. Like, you need your hands. No matter what you do in life, you know, she needs her hands. But you need your hands. No matter what you do in life, you know, she needs her hands.

So she saw you and she was so hesitant that day because she didn't want to go alone. She doesn't like driving alone. She doesn't want to go anywhere alone. I buy her a massage for her birthday. Literally last May. She just used it recently because my sister went with her. She doesn't like doing anything alone. And that day I was like, okay, mom, I have an actual baby. I'm not going to like baby you and take you to the appointment.

Like I, and she didn't expect that, but I'm like, just go. She's like, it's okay. It's okay. Like, I'm just not going to go. Thankfully, my sister was also down here. She's like, I will go with you. And I'm like, okay, get it. Cause the first time, honestly, that I got acupuncture, my mom came with me.

Cause I was going through all of my like fertility freezing my eggs and all of that and she would come with me to my appointments because that was just like a scary process like overall so I was like you know what I understand not wanting to go to something like this for your first time alone but especially when she knows that I've been doing this for a year and a half now. And she went and it was just like amazing for her. And it helped her so much. So yeah, if y'all are in San Diego, you need to go see Monica because she is the best. Well, a huge thing with women.

And I mean, you could put this kind of generalization on anyone, but caretakers. We are so culturally systemized to believe that everyone else's needs come first. And your mother is just a huge example of that. Absolutely. She puts your father first, you first, your sister first, which is completely understandable. completely understandable. So now what I've done is I have 100% started treating as probably my age is part of the reference, but a lot of my friends and acquaintances have started their own families and started going to the fertility process, going through pregnancy, going through postpartum.

And that postpartum phase, when it's easy to start being like, my child is number one, which is 100% true. They're helpless beings at that moment. But I try to remind my patients, at the end of the day, your child is watching you. They're watching your habits. They're learning from you. So you can't only look at your self-care as for you, but you setting the example for your baby, for your child. And it took me a lot of rewiring not to be my mother. And today even I had this conversation with her, don't worry about me. Like you're stressed, you're doing work. And I'm like, mom, I care about you. Like if something's going on, like I will shut down my practice and you come first. Like you've done that for me for how long? Like it's okay to put yourself first. It's okay to show emotion

when you're going through a hard time, you know? So culturally, a lot of cultures, actually not even just ours, speaking of that, because she's not even from here, actually not even just ours, speaking of that, because she's not even from here, have that systemized into their belief system. And if we look at all the physical and mental issues we all endure, where is that rooted in? It's rooted in really lack of self-care and believing that we deserve that. So I think the best way to do it is just build it into your schedule. And that's what we, I think you and I have done so well. It's like, okay, let's look at our next two months. Let's put things on the books. And at the worst case scenario, we get like 90% of that complete and your trajectory is awesome. have a good baseline of your self-care and we can check in frequently. And yes, your self-care might be more than someone else can partake in

because they have a busy life. But even having that once a month or every six weeks. And that's what I want for my mom is just even once a month. I'm like, you're going to come down here at least once a month. Like yesterday, she was down here, but she wanted to just spend

time with summer and we had our engagement photos we were doing and whatnot so like yesterday there was literally no time my dad's recovering from knee surgery right now so she needs to be with him most of the time yeah but once he's able to do the stairs they're gonna come and stay down here for a minute as long as she can have her animals taken care of they want to come down here and she wants to see you again for sure because it was just it was so good for her and like I want my dad to come in and see you as well and even okay so the new congratulations you just opened up a second office yes so you have the facial rejuve like acupuncture that you do. And that I'm telling, I'm not just saying this because you're sitting across from me right now. I actually just realized that I didn't

actually say this out loud to you, but my skin for three days after, I mean, then I had to put makeup on, but for those three days, I didn't have to put any makeup on. I swear it was like, I didn't even need to put moisturizer on. It was my skin was glowing the way it does like when you first get a facial yeah but for three days yeah and it probably would have continued but then I had a cake makeup on for I don't know whatever I did and I was like damn it my skin just felt so good. So what, okay. Because I can't obviously do Botox or fillers because I'm still breastfeeding or pumping, but what are the benefits of the facial acupuncture? And is that like a beauty hack, Botox replacement sort of thing? So yes and no. So what's great about facial rejuvenation could potentially accomplish most things in a very organic way that Botox especially can. Fillers are a little different because they

do modulate the face and I can't really modulate the face. However, I do incorporate a lot of facial massage, which can help lift and move some of the tissue because I'm manipulating it. which can help lift and move some of the tissue because I'm manipulating it. But the needles are amazing. I mean, in general, acupuncture really helps the skin and body in general bring attention to the area. So what would normally happen if stress and aging of any kind has not occurred?

A lot of collagen and fluid and moisture, hyaluronic acid, that would all come to the area to plump up the skin, not allow wrinkles to fall through. So essentially the needles come in to say, hey, body, remember what you used to do right here? Let's do that again. Yeah. And what I found is I've actually, my first practice, or maybe it was my second, was inside a medical aesthetic space. I'm over there, new to practice, or maybe it was my second, was inside a medical aesthetic space. I'm over there, you know, new to practice, just trying to get $100 out of people. Like, I just spent a quarter million dollars on my education becoming this doctor thing. I think that I am.

Oh my God, seriously? Yeah. It's full blown medical program. Wow. I was in, I've been in school for, I did 10 years. Wow. It's insane. But you have your doctorate. And now I have my doctorate. And originally it was a master's, but now the last year I finished the extra year of like research-based classes, practice-based assessments, and got the doctor

title. It's a first professional doctor. I'm not an MD or an ND, but I get the credit. So it's like a doctor of? Of acupuncture and Chinese medicine. Love that. DACM. There was a PhD, which was pretty rigorous, but I think they're kind of finding that the doctorate that they have now is a little more, it's just suffice. Gotcha. And a little easier to add on because it can all be done virtually. But yeah, it's been just amazing having the ability to add on this new service because in that other practice, I found that women would spend like anywhere from several hundred dollars

to several thousand dollars doing stuff for their skin and their beauty. Oh, totally. Because that's just how our culture is oriented. And I said, you know, I could keep fighting it or I can meet my patients halfway. What's their priority skill? And yes, my goal is to bring their internal health higher,

their emotional health higher. But what's amazing is I do a session, not only am I treating their skin, I'm able to do body acupuncture. I'm able to do herbs. There's so much emotional healing that happens. Like there's so, from all the expressions you make on your face when you're sad, angry, upset,

so much gets trapped in your skin. So I get these- That's so interesting. Yeah, crazy emotional releases, realizations on the table. So I actually have to be way more prepared than I thought I was going to have to be for like emotional things to come up

and have those conversations. Even today, I actually unfortunately had another patient that came in post-miscarriage and I just noticed the way her face and she's under so much stress. She's a wife of a firefighter. She has a daughter that's like in elementary school. There's just a lot of things that maybe a normal person wouldn't have to deal

with. But I see the stress in the way she expresses her face and she's the jaw tension. And I'm like, okay. And we've worked a little bit actually right before she got pregnant and she hasn't been quite consistent as I probably should have her be and she does have a history of like cancer and everything like that but when we did the facial rejuve she's like I swear that's why I got pregnant like wow I she's like I felt this release and it was almost like it allowed my body to conceive and I mean she's a challenging patient we're working with only one side of her ovaries and fallopian tube. There's a lot of different factors. So she's going to be a more challenging patient, but also it's exciting to know that her body can conceive. So now the

next step is to get some of that stress to fade so her body can learn to hold the pregnancy and conceive a little bit more long-term. But it's beautiful to see the interconnection that we can start to work with with her body from head to toe. That's so interesting. So cool. Yeah, that's crazy. I would never think that with like your facial. It's honestly something I'm learning as I go. And there is an amazing acupuncturist named Lillian Bridges, RIP. She literally just passed away, but she did.

I'm learning this now. I'm adding this into my repertoire. Amazing facial diagnostics and ways to look at the emotions. By the way, someone just has coloring in their face, skin textures, the way they move their face. And it's just so beautiful. So I thought getting into facial regie was going to be about looking our best physically. And it's become so much more about looking at your face in the mirror and just having this loving acceptance of where you are in life and the aging that has occurred. Like that's me. Like

that's, I've done all these beautiful things in my life. Like these smile lines, they don't have to be crazy deep, but they can be natural and show me that I've laughed and I've loved and I've had joy. Not just like, oh my God, I'm creasing, I'm falling apart because I've been stressed. And so the goal is to get the stress off the face, but allow the beauty of the aging process to still show in a healthier manner. I love that. It's amazing. What are some ways that you use or you think others should to like lessen or mitigate stress? Yeah, that's actually an amazing thing to talk about right now because I don't know if you've experienced this too, but January was a rough month, not just for me, but I've had my poor

little patients have had so much death, destruction, reevaluations, like things thrown out their life that just were not expected. And I mean, obviously, we're coming off of a couple years where that has just been the norm. But to have it escalate again was like… Was Mercury in retrograde? Mercury was in freaking retrograde, reggaeton, whatever. If only it was that lighthearted. And it's so funny because I actually do my best

not to pay attention to the current astrological events so that I don't manifest them because I know I want to manifest but that I mean nothing worked with my technology those couple weeks like for however long it was and I just every just every day was like a new thing that I was like, is this over? And I actually said it got anything else for me. And another freaking thing would happen. I was super pissed. I was like, okay, first of all, Monica, don't ever ask that question again. Like that's not going to fare well for you. And yeah. So with that said, reintegrating your daily habits, one, are super huge. And that's probably been my biggest transformation this week because I caught COVID again because everybody did.

Yeah. What the hell? It was so contagious this round. However, thankfully, I've heard very few hospitalizations. I think we're at the point that the virus is starting to lose its intensity. I hope so. I really hope so. I hope it's just dying itself.

Like the virus is just dying off and it's going to be gone. That's my prayer. Yeah. Whatever transformation it made in this world, I pray that it happened and we're done. And we can just start going to the next journey. Agreed. But with that said, I think the most amazing thing that COVID has done for us is helped us reassess our value system and our self-care system. Either you took that seriously or not,

I get it. I went up and down with it because it's still a traumatic event. I mean, it's almost like we went to war. We had so much life change. It's just like, I remember just feeling stunned for the first four weeks. Like my body was so heavy and like, are we going to die? It was so scary. No one knew. Like we didn't know the severity of it. I thought it was going to be a two-week shutdown four months later it was like we had no idea I was genuinely scared on yeah same I think I wore gloves goggles oh girl me too I like I remember when Amazon was like out of gloves you couldn't find Clorox wipes anywhere. Everything was sold out.

I had to get size large for my very petite hands, gloves. And I wouldn't go to the grocery store without them. It was terrifying. One of my poor roommates at the time, I made us wipe down every single thing that came from the grocery store. I was like, what a psycho, Monica. No, no no i completely

did that i'm like you don't know who else has touched those boxes like when amazon packages would come i was convinced that the amazon packages had covet on them yeah like i my hands were just raw yeah it was like literally they hurt so bad from oh oh my gosh, the idiocracy. But at the same time, I do say- We just didn't know. We didn't know. Those first four to eight weeks, I get it. I get that we didn't know.

So the best thing to do was to be safe. As we've progressed, I feel quite different. As we learn, you have to assess new information and then make the adjustment. So yeah. So with that said, regardless, the best thing that I did at that time actually was I was like, you know what, Monica? You're never going to have six weeks off again. So I was praying, meditating, bathing, doing home workouts for hours a day.

And somewhat to distract myself, I think I went through a pseudo breakup right before COVID too, like a little quick heartbreak. And I was like, it's time, Monica. You've been through heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak. It's time to see what you could do better. What part of that, you are the common denominator and are you ever going to have this time? And whatever that is in your life, maybe it's not relationships. Maybe it's your work stress. Maybe it's the way you show up at the gym. If they have that moment to reassess and you have time to start looking inward, I actually took that super seriously. So every day I was meditating. Millie taught me

Reiki. So I was able to self Reiki myself. It was such an amazing experience. It was hard. It's not like I was comfortable doing that. And like, it felt super weird. Sometimes I would be like laying there in meditation, like, are you really, who are you talking to? This is weird. Like probably four years ago, you would have been like, there's no God, Monica, what are you talking about? Yeah. And I'm so the opposite now, just like taking that time to move inward. So with that said, in this new day where obviously we don't have that luxury, self-care looks more like, do I have my movement planned for today? Which I think actually, like at least in San Diego, that's pretty standard.

Like people love to work out. They love to look good. So I don't actually have to like beat people over the head with that one. Like how do you exercise? There's so much accessibility. There's so many studios and trainers and outside workouts, inside workouts, free workouts, expensive workouts. There's so many options to work out. You just have to build it in your schedule. However, it's the time to make sure you're not overdoing it. And that's the one that I'm the worst at. It's like, if you can give me one more hour to work, I will work, especially if it's to help someone else, which is the thing I

need to work on. And I'm still continuing to work on. I'm okay admitting that. And meditating and breathing. And this can transform at any time. Like for you right now, meditating might not be as realistic because you have a baby to pay attention to, but taking five deep, slow breaths to integrate oxygenation in your body, that could be the replacement for now until you get back to a place. That's actually a good point. Yeah. I can do breath work. You can do breath work. To go to sleep. Or, you know, when the nanny's here, I can meditate during the day. That's one thing I never think about because I used to just do it

to go to sleep every night. Meditation used to be more equipped to my sleeping. Now I meditate more. The orientation is to get more clarity. So what am I like, where's those scattered thinking moments happening? Can I slow those down to hear and listen to what I truly need to answer? Like, is it a business decision? Is it something I need to say to my partner? Is it not to work like a psycho and learn to say no to people when I should probably be doing that. Oh, you and me both. Yeah. It's just so hard, especially, I would, I do have to say this, when you're in the self, excuse me, the healthcare or healing business, it's like we should know more than anyone to slow down. But like someone texts you that their face is falling off

because they woke up with Bell's palsy. You think I'm going to push them off two weeks? Right. What do you know? That needs immediate attention. Yeah, absolutely. It's just so hard to make those decisions day to day. However, I'm not God.

There are other amazing practitioners out there and something I'm learning and I'm experiencing right now is learning to bring someone else that I can develop trust in. But you are the best. So it's like when you're that good and you're like the goat of acupuncture, you know, it's just, it's kind of hard to compete because I've- There's some amazing people out there and I was not that amazing at first. So I have to have patience that it takes time to learn like all those little intricate things. And this is a great lesson for me to learn like, okay, how do I pass my skill on? What do I need to do to be better? Clone yourself. I teach, yeah. Like, hello, DNA genetics. Like, where are you

with this? Because Monica 2.0 needs to show up and save the day. So other things, journaling is a huge one, but sometimes just hiring a coach. I know that's crazy. If that's a coach for your health, a coach for your mindset, people sometimes hesitate to spend that $150 an hour or like whatever program. But every time I've needed clarity and I can't slow down enough, how do I get it back? Well, I need to get back time. So I do have like a business coach that I'll do sessions with. I do have my therapist to bounce ideas and hear them come back to me. So if I'm having crazy talk today, the therapist says it back and you go, oh, wow, that sounds fucking crazy.

Reassess. So I just make sure I build like, my healthcare expenses might be high, but quality of life goes up with that. Now, asking for a friend, aka me, as we've spoken about, but for the listeners, how do you go about finding a good therapist? Because as you know, I'm personally struggling right now with everyone, including yours, ones that have been recommended to me via this podcast

and Instagram. They're like, oh my God, I heard your episode. You should try mine. She's great. Everyone is not accepting new clients right now. And I'm like, I really want some fucking therapy and no one is available. And I don't want to just settle for someone else and go through a bunch of first sessions

until I find the right person. And it's like from, I think recommendation and people who know me, it's like, oh, mine would be a good fit for you. For listeners of shenanigans who, you know, hear my story every week, they're like, you should hit up my therapist. I think she would be a good fit for you. And then everyone's fucking full. So full. It's crazy. Even my therapist, I've had trouble with him. So a couple of things. So EMDR is the type of therapy we're referencing, which is challenging because there's not a lot of therapists.

I forget what it stands for, but it's a form of eye rapid movement that helps relay and re, I don't know what the term is, but your brain lays down all these pathways after a trauma that just really goes, we're going to keep going this way. We're going to keep giving you a hypervigilant anxiety response when anything close to what you experienced to what you experienced happens. So I'll give you my example. When I started having driving anxiety post the last breakup, which we talked about on the last podcast, that was my fun new thing. It was like having a panic attack on the freeway and God forbid, like, thank God I have enough like base level work that I can slow myself down, get myself off to the slow lane and off the

freeways. Because let alone hurting myself, I would never, the guilt I would feel if I hurt someone operating a vehicle, that was not what I would want to do. So I was like, I need to do something serious about this. So I was recommended to go to EMDR, a therapist who specialized in that. And this therapist, so the first step is they use the EMDR. They go, okay, we're going to go through this EMDR. What's coming up when you're visualizing yourself in the vehicle? And I actually, like it happened really, really fast. First thing I thought was, oh, my brother's been in an accident. Oh, my mom's been in a car accident. And then I started seeing myself at three years old alone in my room, looking at my dolls. And I realized that's a

lot of time I'm spending alone. And then I started flashing to my ex's son who was also three years old. And it was like this rapid, rapid, rapid thought process where I think dating someone with a three-year-old who was obviously me and my ex did not get along at the end. Him and the mother have some issues, understandably now that I know the ex a little bit better. And it was affecting the son. And I'm seeing this effect happen to the little boy. It's triggering what I felt as a three-year-old

when my mom was in a more vulnerable postpartum state. Not her fault, but I didn't realize how much attachment development I lost in that vulnerable state. And somehow my body is, or my brain rather, is going, where can you lose control of the freeway? And it just, it's such a weird spiral to happen. Wow. And then, so the next step, which we've only done a little bit of, is to start doing the EMDR to reduce the brain's react to the activity that you're doing or to the response system. And so that's how EMDR works. And you can do this a lot through different types of energy work too, but I found this very, very effective. So I have made many strides. I do drive on the freeway now. I just

can't do overpasses and I can't do super long drives because I am still in a state of mild to moderate anxiety. And I just don't like to be in that state for long because I could raise my blood pressure, et cetera. So it's an amazing tool. With that said, there's very few providers. I know. So we're looking, but if anybody out there knows of any great EMDR therapists that are up and coming that don't have a marketing team, like we'll shout them out.

Yeah, no, totally. And this one therapist, I mean, she's a very public, she's on Instagram. She's like just under a hundred K. Her name is Dr. Cassidy Friotus. And I saw her, she was recommended from someone who listened to my podcast. She has a podcast or I think two that she does. And I was like, oh my God, I'm looking up on her website. I'm on her Instagram, everything about her. I'm like, this is my girl, Dr. Cassidy. I'm so excited. We are going to do so much amazing work together. So excited. I'm still hopeful. And this is me now putting it out in the universe on my podcast that she's going to become my therapist, or at least we're going to do

a podcast swap and I'm going to get some therapist, or at least we're going to do a podcast swap and I'm going to get some good information from her. Because just right when I saw her page, I just felt like this is the fit. And now I'm going to compare everyone else to Dr. Cassidy until I make it up to the top of her wait list because this is who I want to work with. But I want to work with someone. And if her wait list is full for a reason, it's because it's not meant to be and I'm supposed to go in the direction for someone else.

I want to be open to that. But I'm just saying, Dr. Cassidy, I really was just blown away by everything I saw of what she does. And she does EMDR. So I was like, I know it's so hard to find someone. I know. So, you know, fingers crossed. Her waitlist opens up and it works out.

But I also submitted a request to be a guest on her podcast. Filled out the form. They're like, what would you like to talk about? So I made like a whole list of topics and I really think that choking as a child is one trauma for me and also the miscarriage is another and I think those things both that have happened to me affect the way I parent and I want to figure out how to work through that. So I just, I was like, she's a mom. Like this is my girl. So we'll see. And if not her, you know, someone else. Yeah. And this is the reason I was talking about mentoring. Like as I'm only one person, there's only so many hours in my day. So all you

EMDR therapists need to start doing it, make them pay. I don't know, but their schedules will be filled. So if they learn this trade, like get it out there. Yeah, totally. Wait. So I know we're trying to get you with EMDR, but I know you saw Melly. Reiki. Yeah. You did some Reiki. Talk to me a little more about that. We did. So that was like my first step. And if, you know, cause I don't want to just like start doing a bunch of first sessions with therapists and trying to find the right one. I'm like this one, you know, I really like everything. I'm going to give it a couple of weeks. Like I'm not in a desperate need to have therapy this week. I do want it as soon as possible, but I'm like, I'm going to, I don't know how long wait lists are. I'm going to give it a couple of weeks. You know, I'm going to see,

she said, let's stay in touch. She wasn't taking new guests at the moment, but I did get a response from her. So I'm like, let's just, you know, see if this could happen in the next few weeks. Send her the podcast. Yes. But in the meantime, I decided, you know, I'm going to get a Reiki session.

And I haven't done that since baby. Oh my God. I know. Last time we did it, I was pregnant. Cause yeah, you've been in LA. So you haven't even really been here. So like, I've just been back pregnant. Cause yeah, you've been in LA. So you haven't even really been here. I've just been back for the past month. We've been doing acupuncture and then yeah, I saw Melly yesterday and it was amazing as always. So like, do you believe that I know

you believe in past lives, but do you believe that the people you encounter in your past life come and find you like every life that you encounter them again? I don't think all of them do. Not all, but some. Yeah. I think that some come through for different reasons. I've heard, I don't really fully feel the twin flame thing, but other of my friends do it maybe i just didn't have my twin flame in this life or if they did i didn't under i didn't pay attention when they were here um now i feel more soulmate feeling like with cody but i don't feel like it's that chaotic twin flame feeling that i've heard i don't know but um you think he's your soulmate i do i love i also got a reading on it he's the best i love that yeah cody's the best i was told that my ex-boyfriend rob is my cosmic soulmate and i know he doesn't listen now so it's not like a spoiler for him

but i'm gonna tell him about this reading I had I remember telling his family at the time and when I got this reading it was right after we had broken up and the person told me that he was my cosmic soulmate and I remember telling Brock this because he's like do you think I'm your soulmate do you believe in soulmates I was like well according to the psychic Rob is one of my soulmates it's like kind of a joke now with us, but it was a cosmic soulmate is not meant to necessarily be a long term like partner. It's someone in your life to teach you a lesson. Exactly. And at the time when we broke up and I was broken hearted, I didn't want to hear this at all. No, you don't. You're like, shut up. She said, she goes, he's in your life that you need to put yourself first. Yes. And I was like, oh my God,

because I just got this offer to do the show in Vegas, which I never would have done without him and blah, blah, blah. But it was just crazy because I was like, and she goes, every life you guys find each other. And I'm like, in the next life, can he just not? Like, please, can you just like not find me again? Can we take a break in the next life? But now we're friends again. And I'm like, I can't wait to tell you this story because I never told him before because I fucking hated him at the time.

Well, thanks for doing my podcast again. This is fun. It's always a good, I mean, I see you so many times a week. Like, it's always such a good conversation with you, but I'm happy to bring it to Shanann again. So the listeners get a little bit of Monica in case they're not San Diego locals. A little bit of Monica in your life. No,

I'm just kidding. Hey, thank you guys so much for listening. If you are in the San Diego area, I highly recommend going to Reiki City Wellness or Switch Sweets because they're awesome. So check her out. And thank you for listening. We'll be back next week. Bye. Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Download new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Do you want it? Let me see you shake that. Do you need it? Let me see you shake that. Do you want it? Let me see you shake that. Come and get it. Let me see you shake that. Step in the club, little black dress.