Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - More Than 7 Minutes with Rob Valletta

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Can you Imagine interviewing your ex boyfriend years after a breakup? Well that's exactly what Scheana does in this episode with Rob Valletta (aka the guy who can famously hang a TV in 7 Minutes). Scheana asks several questions, including if he ever made out with the hostess from Toca Madera and whether or not he was using her to be on VPR in a game called "Was I Crazy?" They also talk about when he met Brock for the first time and what he did to help Scheana put herself first for once. He gets emotional discussing what made him decide to seek therapy for the first time and how it has helped him grow as a person. Scheana answers some listener questions while also thanking Rob for breaking her heart. And in the words of Ariana Grande, #thankyounext. Follow us: @scheana @scheananigans   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.     Produced by Dear Media  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. From Vanderpump Rules to Motherhood and everywhere in between, it's time to catch up with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans. And now here's your host, Sheena Shea. Hello, hello, everyone. This week, I am finally back in studio. So if you are watching, I hope y'all enjoy this episode. This is one that I have teased on shenanigans for a while now because one of you sent in a question asking if myself or Brock would ever have one of our exes on the podcast. And I was like, huh, that's actually not a bad idea because there's always some questions, you know, that you maybe wish you asked your ex. You maybe wanted a

little more insight on. And so I figured, why not kind of start to wrap up this year, getting into some shenanigans with someone whose name you may have heard me say just a couple of times on season six of Vanderpump Rules, and he can hang up the TV quite quick, Mr. Rob Valletta. How you doing? I'm here. Are you nervous? You know, I don't know. I don't know what to expect, but I'm here because you asked me to be here. And I finally said yes. Yeah. So I saw you recently did our friend Kale's podcast. I did.

You didn't seem this nervous for that one. You seemed a little more relaxed in your seat and not so uptight. So what is it that makes you a little on edge here right now? Is it seeing me or is it you just don't know what I'm going to ask you? Because I sent you like 20 questions. No, no. I think, you know, the and this is always kind of the same thing. I think it's like I don't know what to expect with Kale and that podcast.

It's about what I'm really passionate right now about self-help, men helping men out, really encouraging each other to see how to work on the process of becoming the better self. And so that was a really easy conversation for me because, I mean, I think I've always been slightly nervous around not you, because I know you. I know you to your core, but I think the world that surrounds you has always been slightly nervous for myself because I can't control it. I can't. That's it. And so I think that's the difference. Okay. Well, I do want to get into some of that stuff as well that you mentioned. It's not going

to be all based on us or Vanderpump Rules or any of that. Of course, a lot of questions that came in are based around that. But I thought we could just lighten the mood and start with a little game called Was I Crazy? Are you down? Was I Crazy? Yes. Yeah, I'm down. Okay. So one night I was sitting at home and I just had this idea. I was like, if I ever do, and this was before I had even asked you to do the podcast. I was thinking, what if I did have Rob on the podcast? What if we played a game called Was I Crazy? And I thought of these, I don't even know how many, maybe like 10, 11 scenarios. And I just want you to know, I will not be offended at all if you say, yes, you were crazy.

Because there's no way that I wasn't crazy in all of these things. Yep. You feel? Oh, I feel you. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So question numero uno. Was I crazy that I thought you did actually love me?

Were you crazy that I thought? No, because I did love you. Okay. So no. Yeah. Okay. And here's the thing. Mm-hmm. you did actually love me were you crazy that i thought no because i did love you okay so no yeah okay and and and here's the thing yeah continue no no i was like i was like and i always tell that i think i've always talked about like yeah i love sheena to death i wouldn't be here if i didn't love you yeah well i mean it's obviously a different type of love 100 100 but yes and one i now see which which I want to get into more when we talk about love languages, is how you're better at expressing those feelings

now. Yeah. And for that, proud of you. Therapy dog, please come. Yes. We have, I was going to say our dog. His dog, Frankie, is here joining us on the podcast. And oh my gosh, I miss this dog. This is the dog I've bonded with the most other than my own dog in my life there you go sorry about that yeah your therapy dog she's my therapy she's my she's my headphones she's your safe space you have headphones I have my therapy perfect yeah okay next one and this is one that I've always wondered and never asked you so I'm very curious about your answer. Was I crazy or did you play songs that had lyrics to express how you were feeling because you couldn't express it in your own words?

Thousand percent. Okay. I think we'll get into that later. Why? But a thousand percent, a large way of my communication was music was things because I didn't do the work on myself enough to be able to properly communicate but I felt there you know I had ways that I did music was 100 and so yeah that I there's definitely songs that I you know music Sam music sam cook what a wonderful world

songs will always remind you of certain places in your life and certain people yeah and i feel like that's the power of music and i feel like and i feel like you know yeah there's songs i hear and i always like that yep yep yep and that and so yeah no you're not crazy yeah okay i always wondered that because i'm like is he playing this song right now because he wants me to listen to the words or am I just reading into this and it's a coincidence? No. So I was not crazy. Good to know. Was it crazy to believe that you never made out with the hostess at Toca Madera without even asking? I just believed that you never did that. Was I crazy or did you make out with her? No, because I think you know me well enough to know that. Yeah.

Like, no. And that we'll get into that later. But no, you're not crazy. OK. Was I crazy that I never felt like you were using me to be on the show? Never felt like you were crazy. You know what the funny thing is about that? You know what the funny thing is about that?

I felt that wasn't even a conversation between our dialogues in our life and yours and my relationship until our relationship started deteriorating. Not because of you, but we'll get into that later. But then everybody else was saying, oh, well, then he's doing this because of that. And I felt like once like the la-la's and everybody was like, oh, he's using you. Then that became a story and a narrative that you started using. And so between our personal relationship, that was never my intent was never to do that. We all know the conversations I had before the show, my reluctancy before the show, the things that I was like saying how I, you know, but I made that choice to do that for you.

Yeah. And so I think that was one of the biggest things that actually affected me after we broke up was that narrative becoming something that was so impactful into you from what people were saying, because that hurt my feelings. I hurt my feelings because that was like, OK, and I just stayed quiet. I didn't want to ever fight that. So I don't think you're necessarily crazy or not crazy. I can 100% see how that narrative could be spun that way.

And don't get me wrong, there are benefits of being on your show with Instagram followers and this and that. Does that lead to anything in your life that's impactful? No, it is not real. It's not a real thing. It doesn't change any benefit of your life. Well, it could on social media deals, but.

But I don't, but I don't, I don't. I'm kidding. Go for them. We're trying. And 100% you do. And you, and that. No, because you did. You got to 100K in our relationship.

100% because of, yeah. And you're still there. All these people still follow you. You know. Yeah. No. Yeah. One of the questions that came in was from jowed underscore and said how

did you feel about the narrative that you wanted to be on vpr more than you put off how did i feel about the narrative of everyone thinking no he actually does want to be on the show because there were times on the show where you know when we had a dinner party and invited tom and ariana over and it was like i don't want to film but hey come into my house and let me show off everything come to Big Bear come on my boat and so I know that you were doing those things for me because it was a part of my job and it was what was required but my personal relationships but it came across as like you acting like you didn't want to be on the show when secretly you're like no no let me show off how cool I am well I think that's also part of two of like if I was going to be on the show back then I still had my ego

involved with all my decisions yeah and my ego was dictating how I wanted people to see me as compared to how I wish I really relate is how people saw how I treated you. And I, and that was, that was my own fault. Yeah. I take accountability on that. Like I was operating in all ego. I was operating in how that, and, and that's my biggest regret with doing the show is that I never operated on how, I don't think I, we really showcased our relationship. No, we just showcased my half of it. Yeah, 100%. And there was a large reason for that. It took a while for me to figure out what and why. But yeah, so I think how I was portrayed, I was portrayed how I wanted to be portrayed at that moment, which was based off

my ego, which is stupid. You shouldn't ever do anything based off your ego, but that is what it is. I can't take that back. Yeah. So kind of along those lines, was I crazy with how much I'd brag about you hanging a TV in under seven minutes? Yeah, you're crazy because I could do it in six. Oh my God. No, he didn't. Hunter, I am handy. Yeah.

I'm handy. But in all fairness, the framework was already on the wall so tomato tomato i know in retrospect how many other tvs have my that tv is still standing is it it's you're not in that house anymore how do you know i'm just saying i know my work yeah i do good work um yeah yes yes we've got one for yes she was crazy and i agree with you cringe she was crazy did you watch back any of that season i tried not to i i it's impossible not to see that right that was still to this day people comment seven minute man i would much rather be a seven minute man than a one minute man but at least seven minutes is is it

it's pretty funny how that turned into such a thing. Oh, my God. Did it? You know, Lala even named one of her lip glosses seven seconds because she thought that's what it was. And everyone was like, is this supposed to be a play on Sheena and Rob? Because it was seven minutes. So fail there.

Give them Lala. OK, was I crazy in feeling like when we got together that I guess you could kind of call it a second time because we did date what 15 years ago it wasn't as serious you were never my boyfriend

but there was something there was I crazy in feeling like this second time around like there was unfinished business or did you feel that way as well no that's why we got back together. I mean, I think that, you know, once again at that place in my life, like that's what I was looking for. I was still looking for someone like you. And the interesting thing is when we got back together, you also, you changed obviously, because you were married for a long time. You changed. There was unfinished business. And there was already a massive connection.

You and me, we've always had just a great connection with each other. And so I think when we got back together, this is actually a funny story, and a lot of people don't know this, is you were the very first and only girl up into that point that rejected me. This is a true story. I do remember that. Yeah. And I asked you on a date. As it came, I was like, nope.

How did that do for your ego? Well, I think at that point in my life, I was operating out of all ego. Yeah. We're like 24, you were. And I was like 21. Yeah, 22, 25. We were really young. And you were the first person. You know you know obviously I was in relationships and this and I thought I was that big cool guy in town at that

point and I asked you on a date and I remember you walked out you were at where you're on Santa Monica Boulevard out there and you walked out in a little black dress and I walked out I was like hey I'm taking you on a date and you're like no you're not and I was like no I'm taking you on a date. And you're like, no, you're not. And I was like, no, I'm going to take you on a date. And you're like, no, you're not. And do you remember, do you remember the next time of how I actually took you on a date? Fucking Disneyland? No. Do you remember me actually finally accepting and saying yes to how we actually got on a date? No.

Refresh my memory. No. Wait, what? No. I have a good story for you, but we're not done. Next No. Wait, what? No, I have a good story for you, but we're not done. Next question. No, no.

No, it's a good question. It's a good question. It's good. It was a good one. You had a good, you had a very good thing. We'll talk about it later. It was really good.

It was very clever. Very clever. What did I say? Like, if you take me on a date, we're doing what I want to do? No. You don't remember. It must not be important to her.

No, I don't remember. But first date important to her. No, I don't remember. But first date was Disneyland. It was. Yeah. Yeah. So whatever happened in between, I don't know. It's a mystery to all of us.

Yeah. Except you. Because you remember. Because I remember. Was I crazy in agreeing to name a future daughter Madison, even though TBH didn't really like that name? You didn't like the name?

Madison, not my top names. No offense to any madisons out there i would have changed it to maddie for me because i think maddie's cute but no i always wanted to name a daughter either reagan or summer or jameson i liked jackson i liked boy names for girls i liked liked Ryan. There were so many names. Madison was never in my wheelhouse of names. At the end of the day, when you're in love and conversations, it's a different dialogue.

Are you crazy? Are you not crazy? I think that's not a valid question. Follow-up question. I think when you're in love, you don't you know someone's like i like the name plant oh i love plant too wow i'm just saying you know i'm saying though it's like yeah when you're in love it's like you know it it doesn't matter i think sometimes i think you always just want to work with your partner and collaborate to come up with those things so no you're not crazy

also maybe yes you were crazy in love at the time maybe i don't know yeah follow-up question will you still name a daughter madison no madison marie parks veleta is never coming into this world is she nope okay was i crazy or this is another one that this one I actually thought of recently. Was I crazy to think that you judged me for how much weed I used to smoke back in the day? Or did you judge me? No, you're not crazy. Just no, I didn't like that. Yeah. I, I didn't love someone smoking weed every single day because it wasn't who I was. Yeah. I didn't judge you. And I mean, it's like, it's weird because you know me. I'm like, I'm not going to like say it out loud. Part of my not learning how

to communicate properly in my younger youth, my younger youth, back in the day. He's in his 40s now, people. Yeah. No, I didn't know how to communicate properly. That was something that doesn't work for me, but I'm never going to tell you not to do something. I'm never going to tell you to stop doing something because that's who you are. Yeah. But no, you're not crazy. I didn't love it. I can't function on weed. And so that's unfortunate. Yeah. I just, I just go into my own head and I'm my own worst enemy. And so I just doesn't work for me. But for you, that's a, that's a, that's how you, you know, you can do it. You operate. And so I'm never going to judge, but it just, yeah, you're not crazy. Cause I feel like that is one thing. I mean, there's a few, but I feel like that was

one thing that's had like a lasting effect on me since our relationship is if I want to smoke weed during the day, since we had broke up, if I want to have a drink during the day, I know I don't have an addictive personality and I know that I don't have a problem with marijuana or alcohol ever in my life. But there are times over the past five years where if I want to smoke weed during the day or if I want to, you know, crack open a can of whatever during the day, then I'm like, is he going to judge me? Is she going to judge me? So that is one thing that I always wondered, like why you just never had that open conversation with me. I think that is one thing that I always wondered, like, why you just never had that open conversation with me. I think that is there's so much of that.

I don't think I had open conversations about a lot of things. That's true. We'll get into that. Yeah. You know, last one. Was I crazy or did we not go look at a house together? 100 percent. OK.

Because everyone's like, you're crazy. Like, none of this. I'm like, no, literally, he took me to look at a house together 100 okay because everyone's like you're crazy like none of this i'm like no literally he took me to look at a listing it was in studio city yeah north of the 101 two-story little white house i do remember the backyard the weird creepy attic yeah super likes and no we looked at it i mean part of the part of that too is, one, I always like looking at real estate. And two, I think we were in a place of our relationship. That was, I think that was right before Vanderpump. It was really early on. It was like January, February. It was like right before Vanderpump.

It wasn't before the show started. And it's like the thing, I already knew you. Like we already had a history. It wasn't like I was like starting fresh with you again and be like, Oh, I meet you a month ago. And like, and then gaslight you into like getting a house.

Like I knew you, I, you know, in my brain, when you know, you know, and there's certain people like at that time, I was like,

Hey, I mean, whatever, like that could be a thing. Yeah. You are not crazy. Okay. All right.

There was a question that came in from JC Francine and said, what did you learn about gaslighting from how you treated Sheena on VPR? What did I learn about gaslighting? Yeah. Do you think that you. I think that's a very interesting question because. I don't think anybody learns anything. About themselves until they do the work and, and

understands how, how and why they are operating and doing whatever they do. Do I think there was a lot of things that happened in our relationship that I could have fixed if I would have done the work earlier? A thousand percent. You know, so was I gaslighting? Was this, I was operating at the best of my a thousand percent. So was I gaslighting? I was operating at the best of my ability at that moment in time with what worked for me and didn't work with me with how I treated everything in life. How I treated you at that period of my life was a response to

my past traumas, how I grew up, things that hurt me. And so I reacted to you in certain ways based off all those things. And I never did the work to understand how not to gaslight you or this, whoever wants to call it. I just didn't do the work. And so you're dealing with someone who's immature, emotionally, immature, communication wise, immature as a man. And so, you know, if they want to call it gaslighting, sure. They can call whatever you want, but I'm sure I did a lot of things to a lot of people.

Yeah. That weren't, that were hurtful. And, and, and it's, and it sucks because, you know, I don't ever want to hurt you. I don't ever want to hurt you. You're an awesome human. Thank you. No, you are. You're an awesome human.

And, and, and I appreciate, I wouldn't be here. Yeah. If I didn't think you were an awesome human so to answer your question do I look back I'm like I can't look back and change anything I could just move forward and say okay hey like expect better yeah yeah well I do love that you've been doing the work you know we've been able to come back to a friendship and two things I want to thank you for one for being here and doing this podcast today because I know this is not like your super comfortableness being here but I do appreciate

it because I do think this is interesting to you know when do you sit down with your ex in front of a microphone and two cameras and a producer you know in our world a lot I mean in mine yes in your world a lot yeah but on Vanderp Rules, whenever I've broken up with someone or they've broken up with me, in our case, I don't have those interactions anymore on camera. Whereas, you know, James and Raquel, Tom and Katie, Tom and Kristen, everyone, they've all had to still film with their exes.

I've had the luxury of, well, we're not together anymore. You're not on the show. So this, I know, doesn't make you super comfortable, but thank you for being here and also it's like ariana grande's song thank you next like i am very thankful to our time together but also how abruptly and hurtful it ended because at the time, I mean, hindsight's 2020. At the time I was broken. You knew this. It forced me to move to another state. That job to this day is still one of the best things I've done in my life.

I never knew that I wanted to get back on stage and perform. And you were there opening night. You came, you supported the show. Moving to Las Vegas, headlining a show on the strip was a dream I never could have imagined and never would have happened had you not broken up with me the way you did, because I ended up in Vegas on a girl's trip trying to drink away my sorrows at the sex tips show with my friends, Jay and Kendra. And they were like, you should audition, which you also helped me put on tape. And I got that job because of all of this. It was hard. I got in therapy. I had to do a lot of work to get over the breakup because I felt like I never processed the divorce. And then when you broke up with me, it was just like, oh, wow. Now I have like two heartbreaks at one time. But now fast forward five years, I feel like that made me so much stronger as a person. And I do feel like there's this one song. I think it's like called Passenger something. But it's like if you love her, let her go. And I feel like with both you and Shay that you both did love me and let me go. And I didn't see that at the time because I was so hurt.

But in hindsight, I'm like, oh, my God, if I wouldn't have gotten divorced, then I wouldn't have had this. I wouldn't have had that. And so I just wanted to say thank you. And next. And here's Brock. And yeah. Yeah. And I'm sorry.

You know, truly, like, I am sorry if I ever hurt you. You know, and I mean that. Yeah. And I said it over and over again. You are a. You're a really good human. And I know and I know a lot of stuff and a lot of things are hard in your world specifically um but i i did my best to the best of my ability at that time to constantly even after we broke up

to be there for you to support you on your show to support you going to vegas even though going to vegas selfishly would mean i would lose you more as a friend i knew that when i was helping you do the edition in my brain, I was like, if she gets this, you're losing her more. But I knew it was better for you because I was not in that place. You know, and, and it was, it's really interesting in retrospect to look how our relationship went awry and how I ended up in that place, you know, and I never communicated that with you. I never communicated how did I get in that place with us. Because I was a really shitty communicator.

Yeah. The worst. The worst. And I've told you that before. We know that. And I'm sorry you went through all that hurt. That's the feeling. The broken feeling is the absolute worst.

Yeah. It's not fun. You have to sometimes break. And I'm not saying I had to break you and that's what I'm saying you sometimes have to break to become the best version of yourself if you choose to do that yeah you have choices that is what happened yeah yeah I mean I feel like I'm genuinely in the best place in my life I feel like I've met my perfect match with Brock I have a beautiful daughter now and I wouldn't have any of this had you not hurt me. Yeah. You know,

so I am thankful now, years later, that we're able to maintain a friendship and that, you know, we are where we're at in life. So moving on, there was a psychic I saw after we broke up. And I don't know that I've ever fully told you this story. I remember telling your mom and telling your sister. And she told me, and I've talked about this on the podcast before, that she believes that you and I are either karmic or cosmic. I think it's karmic soulmates. Do you believe in soulmatesmates that is a very tough question to ask me right now okay I don't know if my heart's in a place to the hopeless romantic in me a massive hopeless romantic I lost a piece of that and there's a part of me that wants to say yes because I believe in that and there's another part of me that is just so damn scared of love

that I don't know if I I don't know so a karmic soulmate I think I had said cosmic before and then all these people are writing and they're like it's karmic I'm like whatever you know what I mean this is a person who in each lifetime I don't know if you believe in past lives or not but supposedly we met in a past life. I did something that really hurt you in the past life. Don't know what it was, but that hurt that I caused you in our past life transferred over into this lifetime and was a reason why you struggled even more with me specifically in communicating. Well, I took that question completely wrong. Wow. Okay. Thank you for

clarifying because, so ask me the question again. Sorry. Do you believe in soulmates? There are different types of soulmates. Not all mean love. Do I believe in actual soulmates? Yes, I believe in soulmates. Okay. Do I believe in karmic, did you say? So a karmic soulmate is someone who is brought into your life in each lifetime to teach you a lesson, but not necessarily to be a life partner. No, I don't believe in that. I believe that we all have our own life. God sets us up in these situations and in life and God gives us opportunities. I go much more to the God route than I do that, that route personally. That's me. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just thought I'd share that with you. And at the time, but if it makes you feel better that

you hurt me previously in a past life, I take it. Right. Yes, you did. Oh, our other life. And we were both butterflies. You, you clipped my wing. Yeah. But at the time I was like, he better not find me in my next life. This dies in this lifetime. But I was like, that's interesting because I do feel like, and she said another thing she said, which made me believe this was she said that the lesson you were trying to teach me in this lifetime was to put myself first because you know, I never did that. And me getting the job in Vegas, moving to Vegas, doing all of that, that was really putting myself in my career first for the first time. So I was like, wait, okay. So he's here to teach me this lesson, but not necessarily to be my life partner. And that was a hard pill to swallow at the time. But now I'm like, huh, maybe.

Yeah. And I told you that all the time i was like you do put everybody else first yeah i was trying to force you to put you first for a second and you did and i did yeah i mean you even we've had conversations and i remember vividly conversation like i will leave this show potentially for you i will do this for you and i said no oh yeah i was ready to walk away and i said stop yeah because this is not about no no you're not crazy i just know you so well yeah and i and i was like you have to stop doing that like i had to it was in a weird way i had to be selfish for you to like try to get you to be selfish for you in certain ways not necessarily in our relationship

but in you in life because you give your shirt off the back to everybody you are number one friend to everybody and whatever that show portrays you in certain ways is how they want to portray you but you are one of the kindest nicest people to the people in your world i know thank you no you are and and i and to a fault and at times i remember that conversation it's like that's why i said going back to vegas and i wanted you to get vegas for you yeah not for me selfishly if i was running you know but that's it yeah yeah vegas was the shit that that literally was life-changing for me. It gave me like a confidence boost back. Coming back to LA after doing a show like that,

it was just the best time in my life. So thank you for helping with that and forcing me to put myself first. Okay. Speaking of firsts, Jace underscore son wants to know, what was it like meeting Brock for the first time? This is also a story I've told on the podcast

about running into you at a Bryce Vine show down in San Diego. We were with your cousin. Well, you were standing there with your cousin and then Brock and I walked up. I want to know from your perspective what that was like. Well, at that time, also, I was with someone else. Yeah. And seeing you with Brock for the first time like it's weird you know I think it's always weird when you see an ex with their new partner but I got it instantly like I know you well enough and I met Brock quickly enough and I one thing as as kind of being super sensitive to who people are and quickly seeing them really quickly is I kind of got it. Yeah.

I understood your two energies are two giant burning flames just going full steam ahead at 160 miles an hour. Very true. And I remember saying to my cousin and to my girlfriend at the time, I was like, oh, yeah, that's it. She's good. Yeah. Like she's good. She, that's it. She's good. Yeah. Like she's good. She found that's perfect for her. Yeah. And there's always those weird feelings ish. But at the end of the day, like,

if you're happy, I'm happy for you. And that, and that, and that trumps any sort of like weird, weird feelings you have outside of that. Do you remember dropping your drink? I do. Did you drop it because you were nervous or uncomfortable? Or did you just like end up being clumsy in that moment? Probably a mixture of all, all of it.

You know me. It's like, it's so funny because I'm on camera all the time. I know. I know. That's what's so like, it's different. Scripted is different. I'm on camera. You're not, you're you, but you're you as a host and you have a script exactly i know what i have to get to in my world and so i'm so comfortable and so open

i can talk to anybody and it's like in you but you specifically you are like my slight kryptonite in cool oh self-cool like okay like i i become a nerd and I drop my drink or I do this or I'm uncomfortable like I don't know what to say I'm like and and it took me a while to realize what that was it took me a long time to realize why is it that I have that with you positively and and unfortunately it was part of the reason I realized after I did a lot of work, I realized that was also the main reason why we broke up, which is interesting. Yeah. Which was, and I've said this before. I said it previously.

It was like, I don't feel safe. Yeah. No, I know. I mean, the reality world isn't a safe place for anybody. No, it's harsh yeah like it is you have to have the most thick skin in the world because actors hosts even athletes to an extent can hide behind their craft yeah we can hide behind it i host a show about homes here's the homes i'm hiding behind it right my personality you get it in your world it's. In your world, it's you. Yeah.

To an extent. It's you who they think you are told by producers. Yeah. And that's a very, you know, that was always my biggest concern about doing the show with you was that I was just like, oh gosh, I can't control this. Yeah, no editing control. No. And I'm used to having editing control i know

and so on all my shows i sound like an idiot i'm like and like oh cut moving on and that's like yeah and to me make it part of your or you make it part of my stick right but with your world that was always my fear and that's why i always i think you pull out that nervous kid in me it's true no you do because that that that's that's how we operate we operate in like these phases of life we're like i was that nervous kid who's always scared like in middle school i was always picked on i was always beat up you know and so in a weird way doing this show reminded me of what it was like to get picked on tell me about it and and that and that operates in a lot of fear. Yeah.

And that's how we operate in life is like, we go through these things in life and then we, how do we, how do we deal with it? And, and so I think when you, when you understand that from that perspective, it's like,

I always get nervous around you, but it's not you. Yeah. It's them. It's the, it's the people who like oh he said it this way he said it that way i'm like oh shit like no there's no right answer there's no right answer and then i realized i don't care anymore i have two people i need to i need to get it you know happy yeah god yeah and that person when you look in the mirror and go i like

myself for sure that takes a lot of work definitely and you have done a lot of work was i know you've been in therapy for the past how many years but were you ever in therapy prior to our relationship or is this something that you've done newer and later in life? I haven't done therapy ever up until a year ago. Okay. I just kind of was like, I'm smart. I can highly over process things and always work around it. Very analytical. I'm like, oh, I can work around it. I got it. I can always figure it out. Life always works out. And in general, like I have that mindset, life always works out good for me. And it always does work out good for me. I don't think it was until I actually like broke. I had my breaking point, which wasn't, you know, with us.

I had my breaking point in a different situation and then I just said, okay, enough's enough. What's the common denominator in all this? And it's me. And how do I fix? I'm tired of this. Tired of, our situation was very different because it was...

It wasn't... We didn't break up because of our relationship. Right. It wasn't like someone cheated or... Our relationship was fine. Like, we broke up because of me. Yeah. I know.

During a fantasy football draft. No, we broke up way before that. In your head? Yeah. Oh, shit. I wasn't there for that i felt the pulling away from the beginning of season six when i had to call you and tell you there was a rumor that you cheated on me i felt the distance for the remainder of our relationship i just tried to cover it with drones and iPads and whatever I could buy for you to just be like, it's okay, but it's okay. No, no, you are.

And I don't think I ever fully said this, but thank you. You know, you had my back so hard. Yeah. You did. Yeah. And that's why I'm on the podcast. Well the that's what you do when you're in a relationship i mean yeah no you should 100 and and i wasn't fair to you yeah because i remember that day you called and you said hey this token madera thing happened i was sitting in the car

with jake and you called me and i was on speakerphone and jake's let me hear and you called me and I was on speakerphone and Jake's like let me hear and you you you said hey did you do this and I said huh did you do this and I just remember you know that it's like that your heart drops and like I I broke in a weird way where it took me back to so much things and my trauma from like being a kid and my you know my dad and this it was like it's always like my mom against the world my mom and I against the world and we do that so when my experiences with trauma are like something bad's really gonna happen right now you need to wall up and you need to protect yourself and you need to go away and at that moment I should have said hey she I don't feel safe I didn't communicate with you I, I don't feel safe. I didn't communicate with you. I was like, I don't feel safe. That's all it was. I don't feel safe because now your world is going to be,

he's a piece of shit. He's a bad guy. He's going to go. And that was my processing. My analytical processing was like all these things down the road. The reality is the show doesn't play that way. The show plays like everybody's cheating on everybody everybody's this and that and that and in retrospect i wish i would have done one of two things said hey i don't feel safe and i cannot be in this situation with you anymore and i and i have to either end this now but i was afraid that if i broke up with you on camera at that moment or took a break or took whatever it is that I need to communicate with you deeply that I don't feel safe. I should have done that one too. Or secondly, you said, fuck it. I'm going to show the world how much I do actually care.

That's what I was hoping. Yeah. And you know what? What you got was a person who's pushing farther away from you from that moment. And you're pushing harder to protect me. And unfortunately, the way the producers played it was it made you look like you were hyper obsessed with me. You were protecting someone who was fucking scared to be in that dynamic, not scared to be with you. And I think that's what the world doesn't understand is like putting your world out there in front of millions of people is scary yeah especially when you can't control the narrative how that is i remember many nights you

and me just laying in bed talking about us and i was quiet and i was and i couldn't i couldn't communicate how like i don't i don't i don't i don't know what they're going to say about me i don't know this i just knew you were doing everything in your power to protect me. And I thank you so much for that. And in retrospect, I have so much respect for you for protecting your partner. You do that so well. You do that with Brock. You do that in your relationships. And it's one of your qualities that I love so much about you as a person. And I take that and say, okay, how can I do that in my relationships? I learned that from you. I tried to learn that from you. It, okay, how can I do that in my relationships? I learned that from you. I tried to learn that from you. It's like, how can I?

Yeah. How do you think you've evolved as a man when it comes to vulnerability? Because I do think you're better at expressing how you feel. Do you chalk that up to therapy or how do you feel you've evolved in that sense? It's like you said, you have to sometimes break. You have to want to fix something. A lot of men who have access, a lot of men who have make money, a lot of men and a lot of people don't talk about this, which is how do I break patterns and how do I make it in life? How do I do this? I mean, at the end of the day, we are our own worst enemies.

The voices in our heads are the things that drive us crazy. Literally. You know, suicide. These thoughts are all things that we constantly fight and battle. And thoughts. And with Twitch going, it's just a perfect example of like, I had to break so bad. Frankie, your dad needs you. All right, here we go you know i i got this place that

you sometimes you you have to break you have to break so bad that you're like i'm tired finding myself in the same situations over and over again regardless of how much i love or no matter how much i energy I put into it. And then there's always that common denominator. It's me. What am I doing? And, you know, perfect example. In our relationship, there was hurt, that potential hurt that came in.

I walked up and I backed away. And I didn't love anybody more than myself for the longest time. I was selfish I was so selfish that I put me before everybody because that's what hurt told me to do if you care about yourself and you protect yourself no one's going to hurt you

and then for the first time after us I was in a relationship and I put and then I was put in a situation where I put I finally was like I'm going I put and then I was put in a situation where I put I let I finally was like I'm gonna put someone else first and probably because there was kids involved and it was weird because my stepdad raised me since I was like five and I was put in a situation where the kids were five and seven and I was like like, oh, that's me.

And I, for whatever reason, dropped my walls and said, I'm all in. I'm all in. And I became that version that I was like, I look up to my stepdad. He's an amazing human. And I said, I'm going to be that version. The bad part of that, of me being all in, was I was still dealing with past bad habits. I was still dealing with things that I still picked up over the last 30 years of relationships and LA and this and that and ego.

And so I constantly was battling with all that stuff. So I think the answer to your question is like, I had to, and when that ended, I had to that relationship ended, I had to sit down and when that ended I had I had to that relationship and I had to sit down and say I'm so tired of hurting I'm tired of hurting other people and I take accountability for hurting other people and I don't want to hurt anybody else I don't want to hurt I want to have a successful relationship I want to have kids I want to live a life where I can communicate hey I'm afraid hey I'm this, I'm that. And I think that

every single person has to make that choice for themselves. And a lot of people out there may never get there. Life just works out. You may never have to get to that point. But if you find yourself spiraling and you find yourself in bad situations, if you find yourself in places where you're thinking about suicide or you're thinking about why does this not work? And I'm not talking about just relationships. I'm talking about work. I'm talking about in your professional life. At the end of the day, the only person that's going to make it you better, work better,

is you. You have to do it. No one's going to do it for you. And you can cover it with drinking. You can cover it with doing drugs. You can cover it with adrenaline highs or this or that to mask the fact that you're fucking scared of shit. Because none of us really know what the hell we're freaking doing.

But that's when I leaned on God as more than ever. And I leaned on my therapist and I did a lot of work with EMDR, which is like going through my past stuff. And luckily, I don't have a bunch of bad trauma in my past. past, but it has me to a point where, yeah, I can cry. You know, I don't think I ever, I don't think I ever cried very often. I don't think you could force me to cry. Yeah. I don't think I ever saw you. No, I didn't. I don't think I cried for 14,15 years. Are you serious? Wow. That's a lot of built up internal stuff I feel like.

It's good to cry. It is if you're vulnerable enough to cry. Right. Yeah, I can cry. What are they going to say? I'm going to be that dad in the movies that is like crying at land before time. And if for all of you out there, land before time was a movie made before you were born.

But, you know, it was like the kid movie. I'm going to be crying in Disney movies for sure. And I know that about myself, though. But that's OK. But that's great. And it's amazing. But as society right now, it tells us it's not always OK to cry. It's not always OK to be this vulnerable.

You have to be masculine. You have to think I'm a man. I will fix up everything. I will protect you. I will do everything. And and at the same time. It's it's that place where I think you really become a true man when you can be vulnerable. Mm hmm.

I think that's something that needs to be talked about more too, especially like you said, with Twitch passing recently, men's mental health and men expressing their emotions and feelings. It's like, there's such this stigma that you just have to be this strong man all the time. And no, you're a human. You have feelings just like us women do. Like, time and no you're a human you have feelings just like us women do like why is it not okay for a man to cry yeah i mean why is it not okay for a man to talk about his fears his this it's incredibly challenging to always have to feel like you have to be alpha gotta be exhausting yeah it's exhausting it's scary i mean there's so many men out there who are are constantly getting pumped in instagram and social media a real man does this a real man

has this but yeah yachts this real man makes the money and like you know what yeah you know what a real man does a real man protects and provides for his family and for his and the people that he cares about and and that protection and providing might always be money yeah it might always be money it's like what's your worth my worth is who i am i this is my worth no that's so you know so i think it changes and i think it especially needs to be a topic that that more people need to communicate with and surround yourself with friends who believe that and lift you up on that and support that. But speaking of money, I want to talk about the company that you have built, which has become so successful. Is this the same company you were working on when we were filming Vanderpump Rules? Tell me about the travel shows and just everything you're working on. And then I want to talk about your book.

So this company is not the same company that when we were together, I was doing. I launched this company three years ago. Four of us on a little WeWork with a little engine that could like, we got this. We have an idea. And it's all based off the mindset of what our core values are as far as like, you know, making it in life. Making it is not fame, accolades or fortune. Those are a byproduct of the most simple thing of having an idea and actually making it come

to fruition and doing the work to making it. So like it is really what have you made? Oh, here it is. I can show it to you. It is a thing. Making it is an actual tangible thing. And it's the mindset if we want to go make it let's go make it let's go make it I'm gonna make it over I'm gonna make it over I'm gonna make it over again and my dream and passion has always been to be in the entertainment industry

and travel that's always my dream yeah and how can i merge the two worlds was to create a company that produces travel tv shows and so that's what i've done and we've got we've we've grown exponentially in in in the the two and a half years three years that we've been open we have six shows now so we have six shows the one that you know was the scariest one and the scariest moment in the company is like we have a travel production company oh great covid hits travel shuts down what do you do right and that's when the idea came to what's wide open vacation rentals and i was like oh well what would we do i'm like why not just go around and show the world the most amazing vacation rentals? Because that's apparently a wide open in COVID for some reason.

Right. And so that started Staycation. And Staycation is in season two now. Season one did really well. And now we're in season two and I just got back from Scottsdale and Austin and Cabo and going to Miami and Greece. And like, I'm so fortunate to be able to say I live the dream that I've always built. I've always wanted to build and Greece. And like, I, I, I'm so fortunate to be able to say,

I live the dream that I've always built. I've always wanted to build. Yeah. But here's the funny thing. It's not all rainbow and sunshine. It's like, it is crazy hard work. And,

you know, it's always what I say, the Instagram versus reality. The reality is, is, is I do get to travel the world. I do get to live the dream, but I work my butt off with people who all believe in the same concept. And that's kind of what I'm

doing. The company is growing and we're going to go off to Dallas. I'm most likely moving. I know that's what you told me recently. Yeah. So we're going to open up an office in Dallas in January and I'm good you know I'm at that place where I'm ready for whatever God has has has next for me and that's yeah well congratulations season two I know you've got a couple Emmys under your belt now as well as a best-selling book on Amazon called Making It so So be sure to check that out, you guys, if you haven't already. I remember posting about it. I went to your book launch. You did.

I did. I will admit I am terrible with reading, so I have not read all of it yet. Well, it's mostly just a coloring book. So if you can stay in the lines, you're good. Perfect. But yeah, no, it's really cool. it's part of what i hope that i can do in the future is my kind of new passion is that i really want to be of service and really help young kids understand how tough it is to be an artist to really help them mentally get through it that's what the book was kind of for was to understand like look this is this is hard this industry is hard yeah being creative is hard being an entrepreneur is hard this industry's hard yeah oh my god creative is hard

being an entrepreneur is hard yeah and how do you survive it i know i watch brock do it every day with his startup it's not easy no and and and as you know firsthand with brock it probably is terrifying at times yeah like when things don't work and i remember just the dinner we went to the other day he was asking me questions like oh i didn't think about that and think about this and it's it's just parlaying with people who, you know, who think like you and want to see you succeed and it's tough, but you can do it if you, if you put the work in. Yeah, definitely. How do you think your love languages have changed in the last five years? Cause I feel like you're definitely better expressing yourself,

but I feel like certain priorities and things have shifted in your life as well. Still physical touches top for me. I'm Italian. I just want to have my person leaning, touching, holding, kissing. I've trained my dog to be next to my hip at all times. Quality time is a huge one. And then the last one I think, which was really funny, I used to always think it was gifts. Yeah. I used to always think gift receiving gifts was how I received love. And then I kind of figured out it really isn't the gifts that I loved. It was someone, it was the concept of someone thinking about me without me having to say it that says hey I know you want this I know you like this here you go yeah and that was more of a validation of you know so so it gifts it just

changed it changed because I understood what the actual reason behind it was you know it just meant that that person was showing me through action that they care yeah because i receive that way better than words or receive it you know differently yeah words scare you yeah i think words scared me for a long time for sure because i wasn't able to say the words back i was afraid to say words if i said words words, oh, it's real. But here's a song about how much I love you. It's so stupid. It's so weird

how we process and operate over stuff. And, you know, whatever. It is what it is. But yeah. All right. A couple of fan questions

to wrap this up. Your fans? Yeah. Yeah. My fans. I don't have any fans. Maybe one of the 100,000 people

who still follow you. No fans. Just family members at this point. E. Ortiz Brown. What happened to the divorce closet? Remember that? I forgot about that until this person asked. Honestly, I still think it's an amazing idea in the sense that so many people get divorced.

And I know specifically from my dad being a lawyer, everybody, the biggest issue in divorce is where the money goes. How does it get split? How is it functioning in that way everybody's fighting over this that if they say hey nope all goes into a pot 50 50 give and go truth is it was also once again connected to you yeah and at the end of the day it didn't resonate with me without you to even you know it's one of the things you do in love and like great idea at the time. And yeah,

I've moved on and I'm, I'm focusing all my energy on the company. For sure. A lock as he beaten his self-made TV mounting record time. The people deserve answers. Have you, have you, how many TVs have you hung up since that one?

A plethora. I think I've, I think I now am the people call. Sadly, if, if there's a TV that needs to be hung up at any of my friends' houses, unfortunately, it's like, you know,

it's the guy with the truck. I'm the guy, if you have a TV, you're calling me now, whether you like it or not. And so I'm, it is so fun. I should really have a TV hanging company at this point. Right? Okay. Ariana and several people wanted to know this.

Our Ariana? Our Ariana. Your Ariana. Ariana Maddox, 252525. She wanted to know this. Our Ariana? Our Ariana. Your Ariana. Ariana Maddox, 252525. She wanted to know this. And many other people wanted to know. They said, oh my God, all the questions, but priority. Why is he on the Vanderpump Rules cameo?

If you hated the show so much, then why on cameo are you a cast member from Vanderpump Rules? I think when I signed up for Cameo, that was a while ago. I can't remember last time I did a Cameo. But I think that was operating out of ego. I think I was operating out of ego and operating at a time where I was like, yeah, okay, that's what I did. That's what people are going to recognize me. Truthfully, as much as I've done in this industry yeah as much as I've done and as much work as I've done that's still one of the main things that people know me for there's no ego to that that is what it is that's just that let's be real with that so I think part of I was operating out of ego by putting that on there but also out of just basic let's be real that is what it is that's how people do recognize

me from yeah but I think the original purpose was because I was like oh yep that's is that's how people do recognize me from yeah but I think the original purpose was because I was like oh yep that's it that's how you know me from it because of this that's well how people request me people will do it for me so I don't know that is your question yeah I guess so yeah two more you always said that you knew since you were little how you were going to propose to someone has that changed in the last several years of your life since you've been through relationships heartbreak and now therapy you don't have to say how but I have always wondered I hope not I hope not I've always wanted to that way it's so crazy in my

last relationship I had so many pieces of it in motion and I think I have to get past that concept of associating that idea with another human but no I hope it hasn't changed yeah it's such a cool thing will you tell me what it is off the podcast thousand percent oh okay

yeah i mean i'm always like what is this grand idea that he's wanted to do since he was a kid i mean now that's so built up yeah is that i mean no i mean 100 i mean yeah all right so we've got two off podcast stories that i'll talk about on next week's podcast i'm just kidding all right last question what is next for mr robert glenn anthony parks valetta is that your full name yeah robert glenn anthonyetta after all these years yeah what's next what's next only god knows I day-to-day okay truly it's it's day-to-day I am I think I have a very clear vision of what I want and I'm going after it I do this really funny thing so on my phone and I highly recommend this to to anybody who is looking to make a shift in anything

personally or professionally. I wrote down 10 things I'm going to accomplish over the year. Oh, I love that. And six of them are on mine. I did 12, but normally I say 10 because 10 is more than enough for everybody. And I did this last year. I did this the year after me and my ex broke up. And I said, I'm going to accomplish these things. One was write a book. One was get this company to go here. One was to do this. And I knocked all of them out in six months. Wow. And I realized I was like, you write them down and it's in your face every day and it's on your screensaver. And so it's because of you yeah and so i have my list for for next year what's on that list give us a couple so one be proud of the man you are and pray and that's just a daily

reminder to continuously like the person you are and And I know that sounds silly. That's like a self-help thing that I would, you know, whatever. Be a powerful leader in the company and with youth. Write a fiction book. Okay. And I already have the book teed up. Like science fiction or just like a fiction story? I have the whole story. It's actually a good one. Okay. And the concept is I want to write a book and then maybe make a movie out of it. Yeah. I want to write a fiction book. I have it all dialed in.

It's, oh, it's creepy. It's good. Buy another home. You know, I sold my old house, bounced around. But find home and buy another home. And I'm going to do that next year. I think I'm going to get put in a position where I'm just going to be like, okay, this is where I'm going to be. I have another one, which is find a new hobby. And it was salsa.

Really? Yeah. So salsa. And then I have business stuff, raise X amount of capital for our company to grow into having three different offices, help each business partner achieve one goal in their own personal life. You know, things like that. You know, I think it's interesting how you make them tangible though, and you can make it functional. Like writing a book is a goal. You go do it, you know, say, I want to be in the best shape of my life. Okay. Don't say I'm going to be the best shape of my life. Say, Hey, I'm going to put myself at 13% body fat. Yeah. A tangible goal that is realistic that you can achieve in a risk time. Like someone's like, I'm going to be at 5% body fat. That's not tangible. It's not realistic. Like, let's be real. Like you're your own worst enemy.

And by doing something every single day in order to get to your goals, the only way you're going to do it. And so many self-help coaches and this are always like preaching the same thing. Like just get up and go freaking do it. Yeah. So that's some of mine, but that's what's next. What's next for Sheena? You know, day by day, I guess. Same. We'll see. I'm looking forward to 2023 and just showing up for my daughter every day, being the best version of myself and making her proud.

That is my number one priority. So how has that changed you? How has having a child changed how you see life and how you see how you operate day to day? I feel like it's definitely made me a more anxious person. I felt like when I was starting to get my anxiety underway, then I had a miscarriage and then I got off my anxiety medication. And then I have a baby who I have to worry about keeping alive every single day. So it is a very scary job. It is not chill parenting whatsoever, at least for me. But I think it has made me be more accountable, more responsible, even though I already have been a very responsible person my whole life. I think I'm now forced. I have this tiny little human who forces me to show up every single day, no matter what I'm going through. She doesn't care if I'm hungover.

No, she doesn't care if I'm tired. She like, I like how the first one you said was hungover because kids don't care if you're hungover. no that's the worst no no not at all they still want to play yeah and I still rarely I don't even really get hung over but Brock the other day oh it was a struggle but I think just you know being the best version of myself and next year I really want to be better at just focusing on my work and building things that she's going to be proud of. And what's and what is next for work? I mean, hopefully a season 11. You know, this crazy show, this ride I have been on with Bravo and Vanderpump Rules for over a decade now. I'm not ready for it to end every year. I think it's going to be the last year. I think that's realistic at this point. You know,

treat every season like it's your last. But then we just one up ourselves again. And it's like season 10, which is going to be airing soon. It's set up a really good season 11. So hopefully that's next. I as you also know, my dream has always been to host a travel show. That is something I would still love to do. I would love to do a family travel show. I would love to have summer be a part of traveling with me. I want her to travel the world. That was one thing. I never left the country until I was in my 30s. So I want her to have a different upbringing that I can now provide her that I didn't have. And I never missed out on anything. I was happy going to Havasu every summer. That was my vacation but i want her to experience the world and especially having a dad from another country i want her to have that

culture growing up i do have an idea oh okay stay tuned stay tuned i think it could be i think it'd be very challenging for you though okay well i'm up for the travel show is i know i know traveling and especially when you're a parent traveling it is challenging just going to Vegas is challenging I mean

imagine if we did a show where you and the family traveled with no technology can Sheena stay off from her phone look if I have

my family there yeah no just can you survive without service we'll see stay tuned but yeah I know it's yeah got some things we'll see um stay tuned no but yeah no

it's yeah got some things look good yeah you're gonna get it yeah but thank you for being here thank you for breaking my heart thank you for this new friendship that we have and i look forward to seeing everything your company accomplishes you guys watch staycation we got season two rob's book is available for purchase on Amazon. It is called Making It. Anything else? All right. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll be back next week. Bye. Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Download new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you want it? Let me see you shake that. Do you need it? Let me see you shake that. Do you want it?

Let me see you shake that. Come and get it. Let me see you shake that.