Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Scheananigans 100th Episode Celebration with Ariana Madix

Episode Date: January 15, 2020

Scheananigans very first guest Ariana Madix is back to celebrate the shows 100th episode! She and Scheana recap the new start of VPR, relationships, refuting bad kisser claims, upcoming projects, and a cocktail book! To help with relief for Australia, check it out and help support HERE . Shout to to Hulu for sponsoring this episode. Start your trial today at hulu.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Thank you for listening to this podcast one production available on Apple podcasts and podcast one You guys I am so excited it's fall because not only does that mean new fashion But it means new TV time and Hulu has all of the shows. I love to watch like Vanderpump Rules The Voice Grey's Anatomy. This is us. I mean, so many of my bingeable favorites, and Hulu has them all. But as much as I want to watch dramas all day, I also want comedies that make me laugh so hard I literally cry. Like The Good Place, It's Always Sunny, Family Guy.

I mean, Hulu has all of those shows too, and I know you guys love watching them as much as I do. And do you know what else Hulu has? Well, it's a really great low price Plans start at $5.99 a month So if you love TV And don't want to miss a moment of the new stuff Go to Hulu.com And start your free trial

And again, Hulu.com, start your free trial Hulu has the TV you love Only $5.99 a month. From Vanderpump Rules to Vegas and everywhere in between, it's time to party with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans. And now here's your host, Sheena Shea. You guys, I am so excited. I didn't think this day would come, but this is my hundredth podcast episode. I feel very accomplished and proud of myself. And I have my first guest who was ever on my podcast, my bestie Ariana back for number 100. Yes. Yes. I know I was

thinking about it a few weeks ago and I was like, wait, I feel like I've been doing this for almost two years now. I was like, when is my hundredth episode? And it was like, weeks ago and I was like wait I feel like I've been doing this for almost two years now I was like when is my 100th episode and it was like boom January oh my god here we are 2020 100 episodes we've got go thanks we've got two pump rules episodes that have already aired and tonight at sir we are going to be doing a fundraiser for the wildfires in Australia I'm going to be doing a fundraiser for the wildfires in australia i'm going to be selling the rest of my merch from my fitness line i think ariana is going to have some fancy af merch might throw her behind the bar jacks taylor says he's going to show up and guest bartend tonight we will see i know he has a hockey game and oh well there's a hockey game you you know, so so important. We'll see. But for all of you listening right now, assuming it's before 9 p.m., you're listening.

Please come to Sir Tonight support. And if you can't make it to Sir, if you're not in the L.A. area, just click the link on my Instagram profile and you can donate directly to the GoFundMe fund that my boyfriend and his business partners started. They're all from australia the f45 gym started out there they brought them over here and they just put together their own fundraiser so all the proceeds are going to be donated to that and then donated directly to either the red cross or um i i think because is it something with i know with go fund me they take like a percentage but is it something like that yeah they with GoFundMe, they take like a percentage. But is it something like that? Yeah, they take like 25%.

Oh, what? I know. But it's like they've already. Oh, that's why when you donate, they give you the option of like paying that fee. Right. Yeah. Well, I got to keep the site going. Exactly.

So I get it. But then I think there was something, I don't know if it's the Red Cross like also takes a percentage or whatever that was. The Red Cross is hard, I think, because they have a lot of initiatives around the world that I think that's hard to donate directly to something. Yeah. But there's also that WIRES Foundation that is directly in Australia.

Okay. I know there's a few, but obviously, I mean, they'll distribute the money. Exactly. And they had said that they want it to go directly to the Red Cross, but if there is another one by the time we wrap this campaign up, then it's going there. But regardless, it is going to Australia. These fires are so devastating.

Like, did you see that satellite photo? Yes. The continent of Australia. Insane. Yeah. And then when you put Australia on the U.S., it's like it's basically the same size. Yeah. Just think of the entire like U.S. at some point burning. It's like it's like, it's basically the same size. Yeah. Just think of the entire like U S at some point burning.

It's like, it's like the end of the world is what it feels. It really is. And the sad thing is to Brock was just telling me, it's like, they're just now going into their summer and fire season. And it's like, they're already this bad.

It's not going to stop anytime soon. Even if it's contained in one area, it's getting worse than another. I have friends there who have been evacuated the smoke inhalation that people are getting it's they i uh somebody i follow who lives in new zealand posted a photo um of you know new zealand it's like a three-hour flight so it's yeah it's close um and the skies there oh i know are the the smoke the pollution coming from the fires is so bad that now the sky is a different color in new zealand and i can only imagine the global impact that this is gonna have or is you know probably already having it's it's honestly it's it's awful

and it's crazy so i'm proud of you guys guys for taking the initiative to raise money to try to help. I feel like I haven't been sad, but I'm having a realization. I haven't been passionate about a lot of things in the last few years. And just having been in Australia, literally hugging koalas and feeding kangaroos and just like seeing all the wildlife. Like it's just like it breaks my heart. And I'm just like this is something i am passionate about like i want to just like raise as much money as i can like i want to volunteer in like a koala sanctuary or just like i want to do more than just raise money so i'm just gonna until i figure out if i'm able to do that i'm just gonna keep talking about it and keep posting about it until we reach our

thirty thousand dollar goal so heck yeah donate people donate come to sir hang out with us tonight I'm just going to keep talking about it and keep posting about it until we reach our $30,000 goal. So. Heck yeah. Donate people. Donate. Come to Sir. Hang out with us tonight and donate some money and help the people of Australia. Save the koalas and the kangaroos and all of the animals.

Yeah. It's so sad. Okay. Yeah. Moving on to happier topics. But I just wanted to put that out there. Oh, and I'm going to say this again at the end of the show,

assuming I remember, but before I forget, I will be live texting every episode. And I know people are like, is this really your number? Like it shows on the show that you have an iPhone, but your text messages are green.

So this is through an app called community that I am texting you because I can't have my normal inbox. It really is going to your phone. My friend has carpal tunnel from literally you guys like my wrists. Brock was like, she, you got to take a break from this app. Like it got so bad. I had to start wearing my wrist brace again. She has a texting injury. I do, Help her. I promise. It is really me. It is going to an inbox. It's just not my iMessage inbox.

But I've gotten so many positive messages. I love being able to interact with you guys directly. I love talking to people. Yeah. I love talking to people. I've gotten some amazing ideas from people. I want to actually give a shout out to kimberly ortiz who said um a couple weeks ago hannah burner from summer house was on my show or actually no just last week and we were

talking about doing a tour and like getting things together like a live show she's like you know stop just because stassi's doing it like you should still do it like well yeah because it would be it would be your thing you're not you wouldn't be doing i mean we've been trying to work out touring stuff for our book for you know we've we've done like a mini tour yeah and we're adding stuff too it's i think all of us should be doing something i really think all of us should be doing something especially whatever it is that you're passionate about that you do exactly you are your own person yeah and i mean right now like anything i do like mean, even my cameos, like they're donating money that I'm making on cameo to the Australia wildfire. So love that. Anything I can do to help raise money for that, I'm going to continue doing.

But Kimberly text me and said she goes, I really think you should do a tour and you should call it the it's all happening to her. Oh, my God. Sheena. Hashtag. Yeah, it's all happening to her. Oh my God. Sheena hashtag. Yeah. It's all happening. I was like, you know, you got, yeah, but I'm like, I mean, yeah, it's from almost famous,

but that it's like, I'm literally the theme at Bravo con was it's all happening. Yes. So I'm like, I could just see that in like neon lights, like, and just to call it the, it's all happening to her because each show there could be,

you know, like it's all happening. We got this, we got that. Like I have so many ideas, you guys. I'm just putting this out in the universe. Obviously, it's not going to be tomorrow. I go on tour. It's going to be several months from now. But if you have any ideas, if you have things that you think you would like to see in a live show, me doing whether it's singing, acting, dancing, interacting, whatever it is. I want to hear all of your ideas.

I want you and Brock to be doing your dirty dancing lift. Oh my God. I'm going to need that to be in every show. Yeah. Thanks, bye. Yeah. I don't know if we could do every show because he has a career down in San Diego. Well, listen, Brock, get it together.

But see, like, that's like a good aspect too. Just even like things like that. It's like, oh, you know, surprise guest tonight. And then we do the Dirty Dancing song. Whoever lives in that city. I mean, you have lots of friends. Yeah. So, you know, people all over the place.

You can have a lot of fun with it. What's so funny? Speaking of the Dirty Dancing song. So way back circa what? 2011, 12, 12. Yeah. 11, 12. I would always have dance parties

with the We Just Dance. I keep saying it, we gotta bring them back. We do, we could bring them back here. I know, you have a house with hardwood floors. Yes. That is decorated, let me just add, because that was fucking assholes. We'll get into the episode.

Yeah, we'll get into it. Yeah, we're also trying to work out one of the rooms upstairs to be kind of just like a game hang like video game like hang room and it would be perfect i love that yeah so after our shifts at phil blanc i would always just have these little after parties everyone would come over by everyone i I mean, Tom and Ariana. Well, and and others. Tina and Katina and Jenna. Obviously, like Shay was always there. Shay.

Tom and Ariana were always the stars of the dance party because we're very competitive. Yes. One of the songs that they would dance to is the Dirty Dancing like Time of Our Lives song. Which, by the way, I would always win. Yes, always. they would dance to was the dirty dancing like time of our life song which by the way i would always win yes always there was one time he beat me and it was to a lady gaga song and he'll never let me forget it never but the one right now you'd be like oh you do it every time right you know whatever time but at the end of that dance you guys never finished it with that move we never did the lift We never did the lift. We never did the lift.

So now not a lot of people can do the lift. No, Sheena. Honestly, you and Brock defy gravity when you do that. I don't understand how it's possible. But you fucking there's that picture of you guys in Tahoe. Yeah. When you nailed it. And you can see my head in the background and my face is like.

Oh, my God. Wait. Oh, I think I did post that. Maybe I'll post it again. Wait. I swear to God. I'll find it. We're in like our spacesuits.

I'm like blurry in the background and I'm clearly impressed. Yeah. That's kind of become our thing. We like do it everywhere we go. That's cute. I need a thing. Yeah. So. Tom, let's get a thing. We like do it everywhere we go. That's cute. I need a thing. Yeah. So let's get a thing.

We need a thing. You guys have so many things. You guys, you have a lot of cute things. I've always said you are a couple goals. No. Thank you. Favorite couple. Yeah.

Speaking of favorite couple, we just took a little double date trip for New Year's. The Tahoe. Yes. Ariana and I, we snowboard, but we aren't that great at it. Well, and we have both taken years off from it. Exactly. I started snowboarding when I was like 22, and it used to be way better. Well, I remember you used to go with like Steven Van Allen.

All of y'all used to, you would drive out, snowboard, and then be back in time to go to used to go with like Steven Van Allen like all of y'all used to you would drive out snowboard and then be back in time to work at Villabranca I literally would I would snowboard and work a dinner shift how is that freaking possible because it's Southern California you can surf and snowboard you grew up here too so you're like whatever we could do it yeah but oh my god I forgot I did yeah I used to do that so I used to be. But after I fell and broke my teeth, I was afraid of falling when I snowboarded. And that'll happen. Well, once you have that fear. Yeah.

You like can't be afraid when you're doing it. No. When you hesitate, that's when you fall. Yeah. But we decided to take a snow trip because the boys are really good at snowboarding. And I remember Sandoval's first time on the mountain how terrible he was and now frustrated and like yeah and now he's just whipping he's doing toe he's doing oh my god he's so good he just naturally picked it up I know it's so annoying why does he have to be so good at

everything that's how Brock is it's so annoying I'm just like he wakes up with like perfect hair and then like just like all of these things like last night for example we ordered Postmates not once but twice I've actually never done that I love a Postmates journey like that I've never done it he wanted to go out for a nice dinner and then we started finishing season two of you and we're like let's just oh I just finished season one last night really I watched the whole thing in like a day because I kept talking about it it's so good you guys like i really liked season one except for and this is what's putting me off of watching season two okay i really did not like that end of season twist see okay so we only got to episode this is lame like this is lame like why how and why like i was really i don't know it just made it seem fake whereas before i

was like okay this guy as as insane and over the top as like some of the things in the show are some of it really does feel like real and their personalities seem like they could be real yeah and then the last episode, there's something that she, uh, that Beck does that. I'm like, are you fuck?

Like literally as it's happening, I'm like, you fucking idiot. Yeah. And I was like, now, now we're going into like shitty horror movie territory. Oh,

totally. And then the twist of the end of the season, I was like, fuck this. I don't, I don't know if I can watch season two now. Uh, no,

season two is really good. And I also heard he like makes a lot of there's a lot of like dumb LA cliches in season two there are like that we all drink kale juice and do yoga and I'm like it's celery juice and then how about this I was at the studio with Erica today and she was drinking fucking celery juice well she's the exception because I don't know anyone who drinks celery juice but when you look's the exception because I don't know anyone that drinks celery juice. But when you look like Erica Costell. Where do you get celery juice? I don't know.

Yeah, exactly. I literally don't know. But people always talk about LA like we're just driving Priuses and drinking celery juice. And I'm like, who are these people? I don't know anyone like that. There's a part where they say

there's seven things that happen in LA. And if you've seen all these seven things, you're a true Los Angeline and you can never leave and like one of them are they legit are they dumb some of them are legit because I was like seeing that scene that's like um a superhero like not on Hollywood Boulevard like someone like dressed up like that you know just like walking down Melrose or like things that like then there was another one I've seen a superhero that's like the person that plays the superhero

not on I thought that's what you meant like oh like if you were to see like chris hemsworth like at craigs or no like someone like dressed in a costume just like and then it was another one was um like someone rollerblading in shorts and then there was another no um what was it uh there was one that uh was a palm tree on fire and i've never seen a palm tree how would a palm tree catch on fire I don't know but in like honestly like um a palm like the bush okay so I'm from Florida and we don't we have the tall palm trees too but mostly we have the like bush ones right sorry yeah but there were there were a few other things but that's a palmetry on fire i know so

those are what people are talking about the lame like la cliche things and it's like okay that's not technically but i'm like i mean there was half of the list that i'm like oh yeah that is so la like yeah that is too but i can't think of them right now but okay la is such a big city too it's like so weird to act like everyone here is the same. There's like millions of people. Yeah. It's like specifically like Hollywood. Yeah. They're talking about like the three square blocks that inhabit West Hollywood. Yeah, exactly.

So going back to Postmates. Yes. Back to Postmates. Back to Postmates. Last night after we got our dinner, he really wanted ice cream. So we order Postmates again. And then the guy gets there and I where I live it's not like

a top floor I do live like on the second floor but it's not that far so he's too lazy to walk put on shoes and walk down oh my god get in the elevator walk down and go out so he's like I'm just gonna have him throw it up and I was like Brock he's not gonna throw up the ice cream no he's not gonna do that oh so I go to the bathroom and i'm just like just go down and get it i come out of the bathroom i hear him he's like yeah yeah i got it on my balcony the postmates guy took it out of the bag threw it up and he caught it and walked in i'm like you are so annoying i hate when your dumb ideas work out right i'm just like no he's not gonna do that and he's like just tip me thanks and he caught the ice cream and oh my god yeah it was really you're supposed when you have an idea like that you're supposed to be punished yeah by it not working no there was a couple other

things recently like that that I'm like babe that's not gonna when they were gonna when they were not coming down the mountain and you guys had to go to the airport oh yeah yeah yeah that one we made the flight I was so annoyed that we made that flight because I wanted to be right. So bad. Yeah. Well, because they were, I,

this is okay. When people like, I'm, I am like barely a rule bender, right? Like I'll bend rules sometimes, but I'm like a rule follower. Like if there are rules,

I typically will follow them unless I think it's ridiculous. And then whatever. But most of the time there's their rules for a reason. Yeah. follower like if there are rules i typically will follow them unless i think it's ridiculous and then whatever but most of the time there's there are rules for a reason yeah number one being you leave a certain amount of time before you have a flight so that you're not freaking out and you can check your luggage and not have an issue yeah making it on time especially when you have a two hour flight to the airport yeah drive yeah yes oh two have a two-hour flight to the airport yeah drive yeah yes oh two-hour flight two-hour drive flight to the airport yeah and they're just like snow well in their defense i later found out that they got stuck somewhere they had to walk

yeah which i i felt bad too because i literally then oh brock's phone dies so then i have to contact sandoval so now i'm literally screaming at Sandoval. I'm like, he's like, she yelled at me. I was like, I don't care. I was like, we need to go. Oh my God. Because also like I, shout out to Delta. I fly a lot with them.

I'm a platinum medallions member. I'm very proud of my miles. All the money I fucking spent. I deserve my three free checked bags. Plus my guests. So we have six free bags. So we're like, we're taking advantage of this. We brought snowsuits.

Shout out to Tipsy Elves as well. Yes, Tipsy Elves. We have the cutest snowsuits. So we have literally like six snowsuits. That was two suitcases alone. I brought jackets because Ariana forgot to pack jackets to go to the snow. I brought the one jacket that I remember to bring was like my snowboard jacket. Yeah.

Not like jackets to like wear, you know. No. And we're going to a music festival. We went to Snow Globe out there like we needed to be bundled up. So I bring extra jackets for us. We have our six suitcases. They're free to check. So I'm like, if we miss this flight on Delta, there's not a later one on Delta.

We're going to have to get on another airline, pay for six bags. Well, Southwest at least is United, a United flight or an American flight. Yeah, I think one or two or maybe four. But I'm like, still, regardless, we're now paying for the flight. We're now paying for these extra bags. This is going to be like a $600 change. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm not paying for this.

He can fucking pay for it but turns out that he got down from the mountain just enough time to get in the car drive to the airport wrap the snowboard in a blanket because we didn't have a bag for his snowboard wrap it in a blanket check all the bags get to the gate still had time for a glass of wine before we boarded our flight oh my god i was so i was happy we made and we left on time and we didn't have time for a glass of wine before our flight the flight that had gotten was like de-boarding or de-planing whatever it's called like when we got there so we had a little extra time wow i was like hurry up hurry up and then i get to the gate and i was like oh shit we're not even boarding yet damn it and then he shows up and he's like, see? And I'm like, you're so annoying. So frustrating.

I wanted to miss the flight just to be right. But I'm like, I don't want my boyfriend to have to pay $600. Well, yeah. Of course, it's like you want to make the flight, but you also don't want to be like, I hate when people break the rules and they don't end in trouble. I know. And this happens all the time.

How do I tattle? He just uses his accent and gets his way all of the time. Oh, yeah. People hear his accent and they're like, whatever you want. Exactly. And then when they see him in person, it's especially whatever you want, Aquaman. You can have whatever you want. Oh, and I mean, when it benefits me, I love it.

But it's still so annoying. I'm like, I never get this. Like, okay. so annoying I'm like I never get this like okay speaking of things that like I never get I want to kind of get into the episode a little bit we're not doing like a Vanderpump Rules like um recap podcast here sure but I do it's happening it's my life and I do it's your life I want to point out a few things in the episode because I think it's coming off so far obviously that I'm jealous of Dana because she's dating Max like yeah and I even said I was like Sheena has no issue with anyone else that Max is hooked up with like so it's not about Max exactly and then Lala's like oh well or Dana whoever said like, oh, it's because they're not hooking up with them right now. Like, okay.

But after, before and after me, one of the other girls, I don't want to like put her on blast, but one of the other girls who works at TomTom, who kind of looks like me, her name starts with this letter. Yes. He, I guess, was hooking up with her before me and then right after me and like whatever we've been friends the whole time I've always been cool with her so even when they were hooking up again like I don't care it just it's not the hookup that's bothering you no what was bothering me and I mean I don't know if I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this but what bothered me is she's new to the show, to our group of friends.

And all of a sudden, episode two, you're seeing her career, what she's trying to do with her career on the show. But episode 5,000 that you've been on, we've never seen you podcasting. No. And we've never seen your show in Vegas that was a success. We've never seen you buying your home in Palm Springs. No, my fitness line. I have your fitness line that,

um, I wear all the time. I know. I love it. So again, selling everything. But that's what I'm saying. But it's,

I understand your struggle because I've been reduced my, my, you know, my, I'm not gonna say storyline cause that's not how our show works. It's not about storylines. They follow or they don't follow. Yeah.

But I have been frustrated in the past at times when I felt like my existence is reduced to my relationship when I'm like, okay, but that's not my life. Isn't that's not how things work. Yeah. And I'll see people say things like well what does ariana do besides date tom sandal um excuse me uh you do a lot if you only knew yeah so it's like people would know if they were shown what you're working on so i understand your frustration in that i think it's amazing that they're showing what dana works hard on and what she's passionate

about but i feel like that should it should be given to every cast member especially the women on our show whether you like them or not whether we get along or not every woman on our show is passionate about something and works hard on something some of them you see it some of them you don't i don't know whose decision that is i don't know but i think it should change. Because literally all you see about me is a boy crazy Sheena who's desperate for a man and doesn't do anything else but work at Sir. And I'm like, that is literally like 10% of my life, maybe. Right. So like, let's see the full you. And I'm also like a very flirtatious person. I always have been. And there were so many things. So, okay,

going back to Dana. So it really, it was not a personal thing. I was just like frustrated that not only is like this part of her life being shown immediately, but the fact that everyone is going to support her show and you and Tom are the only people and Brittany, Brittany came as well. The only people who came and supported my show in Vegas. Yeah. By the way, I laughed my ass off. I had a really great time. And like, yeah, I get it.

It wasn't in the valley. It wasn't around the corner. But almost every person in our friend group was in Vegas within those five months that I was doing the show. I'll play cameraman. I'll take some cell phone video. Maybe to like just give me credit. Yeah.

So that that if you want to say i was jealous of anything that is what i was jealous yeah i would be jealous of that too to be fair wasn't about i if i felt like you know which honestly now that i think about it i'm like if if this season all however many episodes we have goes by and you're not seeing how hard we worked to make this beautiful stunning fantastic cocktail book yeah i will be really fucking pissed yeah and i'll be jealous of dana exactly she's my friend and i love her and i talk to her every day i'll tell her straight up to her face so jealous they show what you're passionate about and they show what you're working hard on didn't show if if that happens yes if we wind up in in june or whatever i'll report back yes because i might feel the same fucking way exactly and i mean your book i mean

i had to buy two because i need one for my house one for my apartment but it is the most beautiful piece of artwork it's not just like It's not just like a recipe book. Like, I mean, the amount of money and time you guys put into that is incredible. Yeah. It's a, you know, blood, sweat and tears. Yeah. Like literal blood. I'm pretty sure we cut ourselves at some point, you know, photographing, jumping in the pool, like all this stuff.

I know when I saw that picture, I was like, oh, she really went in the pool. Oh yeah. And the look on my face, the wide eyed look at my face is because I realized as I was moving in that direction that there were lit birthday candles and I was going this way and I had that thought of if the, if the cake smacks the water and stays and my face goes, am I going to burn my face on birthday candles? That's the look of terror. Didn't happen, luckily.

But that's like a one take shot. Oh, yeah. One take. That's it. Yeah. Well, it was a great shot. So if you guys have not bought Tom and ariana's cocktail fancy af yeah what are you doing if you haven't like literally what are you doing yeah i mean it's available on amazon

amazon barnes and noble target indie bound hudson if you go to fancyafcocktails.com there's a list of all the places you can order online. But it's also in stores. Yeah. And it features our fantastic co-author, Danny Pellegrino. I know. I got to get him back on the podcast. We had so much fun.

He is just... Especially now that the show's back on. Yeah. We need to do a podcast swap. He's so good. Yeah. I need you... Yeah. I need you to...

Ben and Ronnie from Watch What Crappens uh-huh their vocal impression of you on our show is like maybe one of my favorite things like it makes me laugh so hard and it's like they never do it in a way where I'm like oh that you know like it's like just so endearing and lovely and beautiful it's just just, I need to listen to that. Oh my God. I cry. I, like I listened to their podcast. I cry laughing. I think they're the ones who took over my Twitter handle when I changed it to just Sheena. Oh, I feel like it was some, I think it was that podcast took like the at Sheena Marie handle or something. I don't remember what it was, but it was something that they're like, Oh, well, since you're not using this anymore i was like go for it okay fun yeah um

okay so we covered the dana jealousy thing i just wanted to clear that up because you might have more people you know i might be on your i might be on the jealousy train here depending on how things go it just it was just frustrating and i'm like get, you know, whatever. You're going to see me cry a lot more in future episodes as you have seen me with my inhaler on previews, which we'll get more into as those episodes air. I'll explain more of that backstory. But just to stick on the topic of the episode we all saw last night, Max, after I saw just that one lunch scene in his interview bites i stopped

watching the episode and started rage texting him we have gotten so close as friends and i need to remind myself this was in may we weren't even that close as friends back in may like i get it but the things he said legitimately hurt my feelings yeah I also feel like the things I some of the things I'm seeing in his interview bites I'm just like that's that doesn't sound like you like Max is over here at my house like daily. Yeah. Like almost all the time. I see him all the time. He's always here.

And, you know, I just feel like I'm not seeing the Max I know and love when I'm watching it. I'm feeling like this is like I don't know what's going on but he's coming across not good no and as you saw at the end of this episode the preview for next week i call him out for exactly that i'm like this is not the person i know and and max is the max i know it's not the person i would never could never imagine him sitting there be like, I'm good looking guy like blah, blah, blah. He's never with the lady. He's never spoken like that. He's never spoken like that in front of me ever, ever, ever.

And I see him all the time. These poor newbies don't know what the fuck. Oh, yeah. I think, you know, sometimes you just get caught up. Yeah. You get caught up in a moment and something comes out of your mouth. Mm hmm. And you learn real quick yeah at our premiere party last week his mom and my mom met for the first time i love

his mom and became friends and they've been like messaging she's just like how do you do and it's like oh this is only episode two i know it's gonna get so much worse. Yeah. But what bothered me so much is a couple things he said. First, when he's like, she got off birth control, but she has to freeze her eggs because she's so much older than me. Okay, but you're freezing your eggs. You're not trying to have a child. Exactly. I'm like, the opposite.

I'm like, how about you just wrap it up? You know? Like, you're just like, I'm not trying to get pregnant. I'm not on birth control. I'm going to need you to wrap that shit up because I'm not trying to get pregnant. I'm trying to freeze my eggs I'm going to need you to wrap that shit up because I'm not trying to get pregnant. I'm trying to freeze my eggs. I'm telling you that.

Can you get it together? I'm not trying to trap you, 26-year-old bar manager. Okay? Like, sorry. I love you, Max, but I was not trying to trap you into having a baby. I was planning on freezing my eggs months before I even met him. For months. Well, yeah, you have to plan ahead.

And so the night that I met Max, and we can go back and listen to the podcast I even met him for months. Well, yeah, you have to plan ahead. And so the night that I met Max and I, we can go back and listen to the podcast I did with him. I don't remember if we talked about this, but the night that I knew that would be interesting. I know. And then I'm going to get him back on in a few weeks to give him more shit. But the night I met him, it was after a Dodgers playoff or world series game. Adam and I got in a huge fight that night he told me and I quote to go to fucking hell and lose his number and so I was like because why exactly

oh because get this because we went to um we went to a club I don't go to clubs but he had his friends from FSU in town that night they wanted to go out yeah it was like Halloween time it was like a costume party. I was like, oh, we'll just wear our Dodger gear and whatever. So we go to this club. He gets blackout drunk. His phone, I don't know if his phone died

or his credit card got declined or whatever it was. He needed me to call an Uber for him. So I call him an Uber. It's on the corner because they can't turn this way on Hollywood for whatever reason. So I'm like, your Uber is here. It's on the corner. No, actually his phone didn't die because he texted me to go to fucking hell.

So I think it was just he didn't have the money for an Uber. He just didn't have the money. Who doesn't have the money for an Uber? Yeah. So he starts texting me like he can't find the guy. I know. Exactly. I'm from Hollywood to West Hollywood.

Really? I'd be like, start singing and dancing outside. Maybe you can collect $5. Yeah. So I'm on the phone with the Uber driver, like trying to tell him like what he's wearing, West Hollywood. Really? I'd be like, start singing and dancing outside. Maybe you can collect $5. Yeah. So I'm on the phone with the Uber driver, like trying to tell him like what he's wearing, where to pick him up. I guess they couldn't link up for whatever reason.

So the ride gets canceled. He walked home from Hollywood and Vine to Santa Monica and La Cienega. He walked all the way home and said it was my fault and to go to fucking hell. Oh my God. Yeah. And never speak to him again. i was just like whatever so literally his friends his own friends from college are going out with me then and they're like fuck it let's go to tom tom like let's go out so why did he even go home then in the first place i don't know he was like so moody i guess i don't know what it was that like pissed him off but he just like wanted to go home

like he would always get that where it was like when he was like a child throwing a tantrum like I want to go home now. Like I want to go to Disneyland. It was just like, oh, child. So that night I'm like, fuck you, dude. So we go to Tom Tom. I'm like, let's just go to my friend's bar. Let's have some good drinks.

Let's forget about this. Yeah. That's the night I actually like really met Max. Like I had seen him in passing over the past few months when they had been open. But that was the the night I actually like really met Max like I had seen him in passing over the past few months when they had been open but that was the first night I met him and I had heard from Logan and a few of the other servers there that he had a crush on me and was always asking about me and was like super interested in me and I'm just like he's a lot younger than me like I don't know about this yeah but that night we we were really hitting it off. And the night before, I remember I was at TomTom,

and something happened with a really drunk fan who grabbed one of my friends and was just being really drunk and rude, and security had to take them out. And he started punching and remembering us. I heard about this guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it was like a huge fight broke out,

and I felt like it was my fault because I asked them to make this guy leave because he was being disrespectful yeah but that i think he had also been in there before and they were like they had their eye on him already like he's not really welcome no so i felt so bad that night that that happened and when i got home i went to text max and be like oh my god i'm so sad and i realized i don't know you and i don't have your phone number yeah so then the next night we go back and i was just like oh my god I was like I went to text you last night realized I don't have your number and he's like well we should change that we exchange numbers we go and get drinks the next night totally hit it off I went to Chicago for a few days for Halloween I came back he picked me up at the airport said he's never picked up anyone at the airport before

he picked you up at LAX yeah yeah that's like lax is like the whatever inner ring of hell yeah and then i had like gotten sick when i was in chicago from lax no picks me up from the airport mom up from lax yeah it's like i'll call you an uber la exit you just hop on this show now that that's a thing uh i know it might be different next time right if it's our mom yeah yeah so like that night i remember like it was like soup popcorn let's watch a movie let's cuddle like all these things make me feel better because i was sick even had like pulled adam aside after like because then of course like we made up and we're like he's like i'm sorry for saying that shit and i'm'm like, well, whatever. It's too late. Like, boom. Like, met someone else. And like, I mean, because Adam and I were never technically dating.

No, you weren't. No. And so you can do whatever you want. Exactly. But out of respect for him, I told him in person, like, I'm interested in Max. Max sat him down in person, was like, I'm interested in Sheena. Like, this was a thing. And then it just you know

progressed very quickly and then it ended very quickly because of him I mean yes 26 and 33 like we didn't have a ton in common and that was the main reason why I didn't want to date him but he just kept being like I'm more mature than like most guys my age like I've been running a bar since I was like before I was 21 since I was like 19 like this and that and I was like okay he has his shit together like I was just like yeah he has his shit together I think Max has his shit together but that doesn't mean that he's like on your level in terms

of in terms of like relationships no and so for him to say that like oh like to make the comment that I'm older and in a different place I'm like this is why I didn't want to date you however you which you guys will see next week now he's trying to make it seem like like, this is why I didn't want to date you. However, you, which you guys will see next week. Now he's trying to make it seem like that's the reason why he didn't want to date you.

Exactly. Even though he was telling people that he was like mature for his age. So when I can actually love you, but same bro, get your shit together. Same. So when I confront him next week and we haven't seen this episode yet, but that day I,

um, I didn't have any of the text messages saved because when I'm done with someone delete like oh really unfollow like I just deleted the chat because I didn't want to see it but I remembered when things were cute I sent Logan a bunch of screenshots because I was like oh my god like look at all these things he's saying to me and like butterflies and like all this shit and so when it came time that I was like no like I'm gonna confront him I texted Logan I was like, no, like I'm going to confront him. I texted Logan. I was like, do you by chance still have our conversation? And like the screenshots, like, can you go in the info? And he had everything. Yes. So I was like,

let me just read you a few things you said to me. And I'm like, remember all of these things. So like, yeah, don't make me again, look like I'm fucking crazy. When you were the one I was like, I don't want to date. I don't want to date. You're too much. You're a lot younger than me. But I was like, you know what? As much as it doesn't seem like the right time or the right person necessarily because of the age difference.

So it's like, let's just see what, you know, whatever. He was giving me everything Adam wasn't and everything I wanted. All the attention and the nice. And it's fun. And yeah, of course. So to then see that that that pissed me off to then go in an interview and say that all I talked about was photo shoots music and emojis and I wasn't enlightening I didn't enlighten him I'm sorry 26 year old how how would you like me

to enlighten you yeah what deep talks do you want to get into and then when I was thinking about it I'm like I didn't even have any photo shoots last November it wasn't I was working on music then like sure but that's definitely not all we talked about so yeah also like if you're just fucking somebody are you really trying to like have those kinds of conversations anyway yeah and the way it started out was very casual and then it was like progressing so quickly because of him because of all the things he was saying and the things that he wanted and he also was so supportive of me freezing my eggs was like team sheena freezes her eggs like literally and so then you know six months later or eight

however many months later to see him say these things it was hurtful and i'm like it's just the fact that to say that like i have no depth like i'm just this superficial fucking airhead who only talks about music and emojis i'm like you know who talks about emojis max specifically max because when we exchanged numbers and started talking he's like okay so like now we need an emoji for like our contact photo like in our contact he was like asking me what my favorite emoji was and I'm like I'm like oh my god I love the unicorn so he put a unicorn I was like what's yours and he's like I like the monkey I was like okay so I put a monkey for him and then to continue the emoji conversation

he goes oh he's like guess what he's like I added an extra emoji. He's like, because your nails are always like really pretty and done. He goes, so I added the nail emoji. And I was like, well, since you were born in Hawaii, I'll add the shaka emoji. The emoji conversation started with him. Let me just say that. So. And. Whatever.

Scene. Yeah. And that's all. All right. Let's move on to the other guy sure brett oh brett thirsty brett see okay my experience with brett has been obviously very different from yours my experience with brett is that he's been nothing but a sweetie and you know to your face and then you see his eyes and things he says elisa behind your back yeah i'm curious you know, to your face. And then you see his eyes and things. He says, Lisa, behind your back.

Yeah, I'm curious, you know, later on what's going to be said behind my back. I mean, I guess I don't know yet. Yeah, so far I've my interactions with Brett. I've always been, you know, he's sweet. Yeah. And seems like he maybe needs some like guidance. But like, I don't know. I was literally specifically trying to give him guidance you're new to sir you're new to la you're new to this

whole experience and lisa asked me to look after him and kind of take him under my wing and show him the ropes so that's exactly what i was doing and in the process of doing that. Yeah. Yeah. He kissed me. We were flirty, but like, even like, I don't even know how much of this you can see, but it's like, he's like,

I need to like open a dictionary and show her what friends mean. I'm like, does friends mean coming over, getting drunk and then making out with me in my kitchen? Like, did I act like you were getting down on one knee? Like what, what part about that have I acted as if see i'm like i wonder where he's getting that from i don't know

it doesn't seem but it was just so the way our conversations were all summer and the way we interacted with each other now seeing the things he was saying at that same time behind my back i'm like you're a fucking fraud you're fake you literally will just do he's i'm a people pleaser he is that to an extreme he will do and say whatever you know he is a people please he is a people pleaser yeah i feel like i yeah he is a people pleaser and i just think he also he doesn't want anybody to be mad at him no but in the process which is something that sheena you've you've been through when you don't want anybody to be mad at him no but in the process which is something that sheena you've you've been through when you don't want anybody to be mad at you you're just like i just want to make everyone happy in the process then no one's happy exactly because then it's like we need to know you like

who are you because if you just go with what people want from you then you lose yourself oh and the process so annoying and even oh my god the part when we're at sir and i was like uh talking about freezing my eggs and i was like oh was that an offer like that wasn't even the whole conversation he was making jokes about like oh you just need to find the right sperm to fertilize your eggs and i'm like is that an offer like it was a joke where's the hr department oh god whatever calling hr saying i'm a bad kisser when at first he was like because when i was so uncalled for it was number one second of all i've kissed you and you're a great kisser thank you yeah what the fuck and then jax goes on watch what happens i was

like yeah yeah i've heard that around town i'm like checks you don't know anyone i've hooked up with what are you talking about anything oh so't know anything. Ugh, so annoying. God. Whatever. I saw Stassi was like, I can vouch. She knows an amazing kisser. Thank you, Stassi. Yeah, duh.

She knows you have very soft, very nice lips, and you are a great kisser. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, so fuck off, everybody. Moving on to you and Lisa. Moving on, yes. Okay. moving on yes you and lisa moving on yes okay i feel like you were one of the only employees of hers who actually has stood up to her and said your opinion and how you feel not even just in

defense of your boyfriend but just in general did that give you anxiety knowing that you were going to like have cameras and have to stand up to her yeah uh it did my anxiety came not so much from talking to her because I feel like yes Lisa is a very intimidating person but she's also um as I've learned over the last year I would say like in the beginning it's very like sometimes she can seem a little bit like, um, not real. You know what I'm saying? Like everything's perfect. Everything's, you know, people are kept at an arm's length sometimes. So sometimes it feels like you don't know who the real person is. I've learned over the last year so much more and i feel so much closer and more like that she is really like the kind of person that i could talk to she's a real person with real feelings and emotions and and things like that um to rewind back to when i talked to

her at that engagement well at the finale yeah it's the last night of filming you want to talk to her you better fucking do it um so um when i talked to her that night i feel like talking to her generally wasn't what was what made it difficult it was knowing it was it was the filming aspect of it that i feel like added so much to that anxiety. Right. Because what happens is, you know, Lisa and I can talk about something. We can work through it. I can say, I didn't agree with this, this and this and this. And she can say, well, here's why or here's what's the deal. And I don't agree with how you handled it or whatever we can talk about stuff like in the way that people do um but what ends up happening is you know an hour long or a 30 minute long or two hour long sometimes conversation gets whittled down to a couple minutes a couple

minutes and when that happens you lose lose context. Sometimes you lose. And that's that's no one's fault. It's just the nature of. Yeah, we have 42, 44 minutes to make a show. They can't. 19 cast members. They can't. They can't use, you know, two episodes to cover me and Lisa sitting down at CERN talking like they can't do it. No.

It would be ridiculous. No one would want to. They'd be like, wow. And I feel like I'm watching, what is that? Like, um, not the bash,

a big brother. They do like a live. Oh yeah. It would be like that. Right. You know? And so what made the nerve wracking part is knowing that it is going to get whittled down to such a short thing, not knowing what's going to get capped and what isn't.

And then knowing that the people who are watching it are only going to see what's there and not see like, they can't be there to see the real content, the two hour long conversation. Like they can't be there to see that. So their opinions are going to be based off of what they're shown on, on the show. Yeah.

And they can be, you know, on one side of the situation or the other side or both. Sometimes people are, I feel like for the most part, people are really, they're like, look,

these are real people. They're working through their real problems. Like, you know, good luck to them. You know, obviously there's more that we're not seeing. Like they, most people can objectively look at the show and understand that i love that i love you guys but

there's they like i would don't think i could do it without those people yeah but then there are there is that sliver of people who are very loud and very aggressive and also very wrong yeah and very toxic and i think that goes with all social media in general and all just life in general what ends up happening is then those people are the ones that make it very nerve-wracking to do because you're you want to be yourself and you want to be open and honest and be able to have those difficult conversations with someone like lisa who that's very that's a difficult conversation to have yeah or if me and you have an issue like that's a difficult conversation to have you want to be able to be vulnerable and have those kinds of talks

without worrying about like someone's going to tell me to kill myself or whatever or or think that i'm i always find it very obvious when i'm watching the show when audio is spliced yeah apparently it's not obvious to everyone i was like i said something before that yeah or i said you know it's the things that you know tom is bringing home and obviously i'm very pat i can tell when that that's been cut off. Thomas is not the reason why I feel the way I feel. Yeah. I'm going to talk to Lisa and be fair. I was like, you know, fuck.

In that moment, that conversation at Sir, I was very much like, I don't care if this does take two hours. Yeah. And they can cut around things that they can legally say or legally not say. That's up to them. But I'm going to be very open and honest with how and why I felt the way I felt. Not the glossy for show version. Exactly. The glossy for show version is that, you know, oh, you were rude.

That's no. We're going to get into the nitty gritty. And we did. And it was a really, really lovely conversation. I'm not blaming shit on Tom. Are you fucking kidding me? No. And that audio is so obviously spliced.

But again, I feel like our ears are trained. Or like when Dana says, to quit my job in healthcare sales. I'm like, did they just make you say the words healthcare sales? Like, what the heck? To fill in that blank? Like you say the words healthcare sales. Like what the heck? To fill in that blank.

But yeah, it's that tiny sliver of toxicity that makes things scary. Yeah. And you have to try so hard not to dwell on that and focus on the positive and focus on the constructive criticism and the people who are very and obviously when we were at bravo con i felt like it was all those people it's only that sliver and of course our brains naturally want to focus on like that one yeah glaring spot totally and it's so frustrating but because like i'm you and i were saying how it's like I know we I don't know if you still do I stopped but in the beginning we would block everyone every negative comment block block block yeah because I'm like get the fuck out of here yeah but then it got to the point where I'm like I'm losing followers by blocking people so I'd rather go back through my block

list and just unblock everybody right see what happens but um one thing that you and i were saying recently is how it's frustrating when people say something that's incorrect yeah and i want to correct them it's like i don't want to you know ignore all the positive comments but i do want to correct the people who are wrong because it's like if you don't like me or this situation for the right reason okay you just don't fuck with me that's fine yeah it happens but if you're gonna like i was just reading all these comments someone posted something about me today and it was like desperado sheena and every comment was like oh i feel so bad for her she's so pathetic she it's so sad she needs a man she's so desperate i'm like not at all single for like three years yeah like two and two and a half. Two and a half, yeah.

But it was like, I was living my best life. You just didn't see it because the guys who I was dating didn't want to film a television show. Yeah, I saw somebody recently was like, oh, where's that one guy? Why isn't he on the show? And I was like, he wouldn't sign a release. But one thing with you on the show that I think is so amazing is you've always been so vulnerable.

And you I think it worked in like I know in the beginning it was harder, especially like I'll never get over the season that you and I fought. That's my biggest and only regret on the show. I hated it. It was the worst. And like seeing you cry in the back of that cab, like with Tom. Oh, my God. It broke my heart. It was rough. But I know like my heart it was rough but I know

like back then it was harder for you to open up especially on camera and now I mean from hating your vagina to everything with your depression like those are things that so many people can relate to and I just commend you for that because it's not easy to do it's yeah what sucks is that no it's not easy to do but what happens is that you know in a moment it's like uh you know it's there it's like right there and so you say it and then then you could never not you can never take it back not talk about yeah then it's like, dang it. Yeah. I really thought I could squeak that one by you guys. But nope.

I mean, depression specifically, I think, is such a relatable thing that so many people are going to understand. I mean, I take WellBe Trend daily more for anxiety, but it is also an antidepressant. And this past summer, for reasons I can't discuss on here but there was something work-related that was really devastating that happened and for me it would it just it put me in this depression that I hadn't been in for a long time and as much as I did not want a boyfriend or relationship at that time it was just like everyone I was dating it just it was just such a downer and it just put me in a funk I was in a really bad place and I was really depressed for like six months I'm freezing my eggs I'm injecting myself with hormones

I'm crying oh my god I'm that the hormonal thing I when I'm on my period or like about to get when my basically when my hormones are like raging or whatever is happening holy shit yeah like on it right now oh my god like he's like oh that she knows back oh man you I remember there was one time and I knew it and I was like Tom oh it was literally like right when we were like like when we first got to Tahoe and I was like, Tom. Oh, it was literally like right when we were like, like when we first got to Tahoe. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I was like, I'm like cranky. And yeah.

And I'm like impatient. And I'm like, didn't it's like the night before you guys got there. And he's like, I don't know what else to suggest. I've suggested that we do this and do that. And I'm like, I don't want to do any of it. You want to go back to the room? No, I don't want to do that either. Like it was just like everything was just wrong.

Yeah. And I just remember I said something like that and the look on his face was like you could tell he was like yeah it's definitely I can tell like he knew yeah because it's like oh my god so I can't imagine injecting yourself with like hormones and, and I don't know how, you know, when people are pregnant and their hormones are crazy, like my home aren't hormones when they're, when I'm like just on my period, I'm literally an insane person. I should be committed. Like,

Oh my God, put me in a straight jacket and throw me in the corner. And I've realized when I'm not on birth control, like you would think like taking those hormones or whatever it is that that makes you crazy. But when those hormones or whatever it is that that makes you crazy but when i'm not on it like right now as i'm gearing up for round fucking three of freezing my eggs trying to get ariana on board with me to do this with me just in case you change your mind and want a little or if i want or if you want to donate exactly i want all of my same-sex friends

to be able to have babies yeah and i love that. They can have all of them. You should absolutely do it with me. I'll think about it. But I feel like when I'm not on birth control, I don't know what it is. It's like my body's not used to not having that in it that I go fucking crazy. Like last month on my period. I've been on birth control since I was 26. And yeah, but I mean, I don't know what it is.

It just, I've been losing my mind. I wonder if I was on birth control, if I would be hornier. Are you? See, no, that's the thing. Because when I was on the NuvaRing, it like I lost my sex drive. I also was in an unhappy marriage. But even like, wait, remember that time you lost it oh yeah it fell out couldn't find it I think I think Salem or Penny found it oh my god because

like two weeks later it was like with all the sock monkeys the straws the plastic straws he likes to fetch oh my god oh my god yeah but i felt like since i got off birth control i feel like my sex drive is higher so i mean who the fuck you know what i read an article about like a re i mean we're talking like caught like a long ass time i was reading something about how um people who because of the hormonal thing and like if somebody, you know, listens to your podcast and is like Ariana, you're a fucking idiot. Whoever wrote that article doesn't know what they're talking about. Go ahead and let me know. But I read an article that was about how like this woman was on birth control for like forever, forever, forever. And in her 30s, she stopped taking it because her and her husband were gonna have a

kid she off birth control was like not attracted to her husband interesting and i was like wait what and then the article is about how because the hormonal differences could possibly make you like attracted to different aspects of a person and if like what you I don't know it sounded like I was like oh my god no what if like what if I started taking birth control and I wasn't like oh now I don't think Tom's hot or something yeah like that would be awful but then I'm like but what if I started digging and I just got really horny like I don't know wait I'm like, but what if I started dating and I just got really horny? Like, I don't know. Wait, I'm going to look this up. I'm going to look it up. And maybe now.

What if I, what if I dreamt this? I have to look it up. I mean, maybe now too. Like I have such a high sex drive because I'm dating someone I'm so attracted to, not just physically, but like mentally, like we're just very somebody wrote about it again in january of 2019 so i think this is real birth control might change it's on vice birth control might change who women feel attracted to interesting weird i'll send it to you post it on your podcast website i don't know supplemental reading to this episode got it all right bye i love homework

going back to the relatable topic of depression sorry yeah how see this is how hard i'll avoid talking about i know but i just i just want to touch on it because it is something that so many of us just in our friend group, but also just people in the world can relate to. Well, the scary part. OK, so for me, I and obviously throughout the season, I can't get away from. It's like you talk about something once and you're not allowed to not talk about it. So I'm sure you'll be struggled with depression. Probably since I was like a teenager.

Yeah. I just feel like my mind has always been in some sort of like overdrive in certain ways. And I think that it's hard for me to just be like, I enjoy, like I just think of, I think I'm just maybe thinking too much. I don't know, Overactive something with my brain and it tends to end up in these spirals. So if there's a negative thought, I'll spiral on that negative thought. It's hard for me to spiral on a positive thought, if that makes sense. I'm the same way.

So I got that. Yeah. And then when that happens, of course then it it flows over into everything else and it's hard for me and it's like feels to me like i don't know how to control it or block it or so i've i've learned over the years that um i mean and this is definitely something i think since I was like a teenager to the age where you start thinking about like the world. Right. And life and beyond just like, you know, little things. And I think that there's been things that have happened to me that are really that were out of my control that were really bad.

Whether it's whatever traumas, right. Okay. Bad traumas. And I think that I've tried to attribute healing from those traumas and like, and really getting past those traumas with like being like, okay. And then once I get there i'll be good or you know so it's like okay so i feel like i've really dealt with my grief i feel like i've dealt

with um past trauma from the emotionally abusive relationship that i was in. I feel like I've actively put in the work to deal and heal from those, those things. Not to say that they're gone forever, but I at least have coping mechanisms now for those specific things. Okay. Then it's like, but I'm still feeling, I still have like thing.

It's just still feels like there's an, like I said in the episode and undercurrent. OK, so my book is fucking sick. Publishing this book. It's sick. I have a career goal, a huge career goal. I've accomplished this career goal. I'm super stoked about that.

I'm moving into my I moved in my dream house with my dream man. It's beautiful. I love thank you it's my favorite out of all of them oh thank you I won't tell anyone you said that yeah um but then it's like why is this undercurrent it's like you know then I'm like okay right this isn't gonna go away and then what's I think what really scared me in the months leading up to, to filming and during filming around the time this episode was shot is that I started to think about, um, you know,

people who are, you hear of like celebrities, some of our, the funniest, most talented, wealthiest, you know, you know,

you think like maybe it's from like, what is it that i can fix right you know what can i control well maybe if i work harder and make more money and then it's like but it's still there because it's an imbalance in my brain and then i realized there are people who are celebrities that we admire we look up to who lose that battle and they lose it at like 65 yeah and you're like well fuck i'm gonna have to from now until 6500 if i want to beat this i have to have systems in place every day and make sure that i am on top of my fucking shit in terms of this brain disorder. Yeah.

To make sure that I don't lose this because what I'm doing is not working and thinking that it's revolving around one specific issue. Those are, that's a separate thing. So I feel like that's kind of where I was at. The one thing I don't really like that there, I feel like was, was being slightly skewed in this direction.

I wasn't not decorating my house because I was depressed. The way it was cut sounded like, have you been, how did you decorate your house? I'm like, no. And when she asked me why all of a sudden, I'm sorry guys, she asked me why. And then,

boom, my hair is longer and the lighting is different. But I was like, you know, that's not the answer. The answer to why isn't the house completely decorated is because it's a 5,000 square foot house. Yeah. And we're very particular about what we're putting in it. And a lot of the stuff that we have in here now is stuff that was either custom or, you know, things like that. And once we start filming, it's like you really can't you can't be here working with. I can't I don't can't be here working with a designer while we're filming. I have to go to Sir and I have to, you know, that was a one thing that I was like, that's not exactly what's happening here.

But yeah, it's going to be a lot. There's definitely a moment later on in the season where things really came to a head and I was like really frustrated. What are some of the things like because you don't take medication right no I sometimes feel like it would be great if I could but no one's prescribed me anything yet I mean and I feel like I've been on well-being for like four years now and I'm like I'm in such a different place in my life but But I'm like, my brain's still fucked up. That's not going to just like get better.

Like it is that imbalance where I'm still going to suffer from anxiety. But I'm like, do I need to be medicated still? Like, is it I mean, is it helping me because I still get anxiety. I'm still I get depressed at times. But it's like, I don't I don't know. So if you don't take medication, what are some of the things that you do do like therapy to cope with your depression well number one being open about it

I feel like that's the big people are like ah fuck off like some people that sliver that we talked about yeah the toxic sliver will be like oh fuck you boring no one cares you bring nothing to the show and I'm like okay except that me even just like

saying it i feel like sometimes people will contact me and say when you said it i made me feel like i wasn't alone like i've been through the same thing and i relate to think i'm like no thank you because me hearing that from people that I don't know makes me feel better so being open about it is like to me the the best thing I've ever done the scariest the scariest thing I've ever done but also the best thing I've ever done um number two therapy is i mean even if somebody's like i um i'm in the process now of finding a therapist that is in this area because um you know whatever my therapy journey has been it's tough because it's like you want if you find somebody you like but if you find somebody you like and then they're far away from your house and you can't like find the time to go as much as you want to go, then you feel like you're not putting in the work and you're not benefiting from it.

So I'm working on things right now. But therapy, even just like twice, three times, even just to get that kind of tune up. Yeah. Is huge. I have to say that exercise is, I mean, even when I don't, it's huge for me. Yeah. Exercise is huge for me. I used to exercise in an unhealthy way when I first, dude, Sheena, I realized the other day when I first started this show, I see people online talk about how my face is puffy and my face is fat and they think it's

because I have filler and how when I first started this show I was so naturally beautiful and what the fuck did I do to my face yeah okay when I first started the show I was 105 pounds yeah I was severely I remember how you like because we're basically the exact same size like height weight like measurements like we're very very similar body types and I remember how you like, cause we're basically the exact same size, like height, weight, like measurements. Like we're very, very similar body types. And I remember when you got down to like one Oh five and here I'm at like one 25 and I was like, shit, I got to get back down to Ariana's weight.

Yeah. No, very unhealthy. Exactly. And I was very mentally unhealthy at that point too. Now is a physically unhealthy, regardless of how skinny I looked. Um, I was very mentally unhealthy as well and so it's very triggering to me to read a comment that says that I looked beautiful when I first started the show because I'm like no I did not actually

no I didn't I looked very unhealthy yeah great you could see my cheekbones I don't think you ever looked unhealthy but I mean I definitely think you look the best I would love to be able to be at a healthy weight and for you to be able to see my cheekbones. That would be great. But a healthy weight for me means guess what, guys? It's just my fucking face. So get over it. It's just my fucking face.

I'd love to have a skinny face. Guys, let me know if you know how to get a fucking skinny face. Holler at me. But OK, I'm going to have a skinny face guys let me know if you know how to get a fucking skinny face holler at me but okay I'm gonna say with that exercise but in a in a way where the thing about exercise now and then I'll shut up but my thing about exercise now is yes obviously there are big physical benefits to exercising and eating healthily and, you know, being on that kind of wavelength. Yes, there are. But if you can switch that gear where you're not thinking about the physical result, you're thinking it, but you're getting that mental boost from it, then it's then it's so much better. So much more beneficial, I think. I agree. And I need it. I have to. have to yeah and helping other people that's another big thing yes for me yeah yeah I'm with

you on that I will say though about the skinny face thing when I got in shape and like lost the weight I like at my when I was like my skinniest like on the show I would I think I got down to like I don't know 107 109 yeah but I was healthy and now I was like I'm my healthiest when people think I look sick because my face was so thin that I then put filler in my face because it was so skinny you were like oh now I look like a freak exactly and I was like wait I wanted to like but I'm like I'm the healthiest I've ever been. I'm not anorexic. I was anorexic in college.

Yeah. And that was such a trigger for me because I'm like, I have struggled with an eating disorder before. I'm now eating five small meals a day. I'm working out. I'm the healthiest I've ever been. But I lost the weight in a healthy way that my face was so sunken in. I looked sick and that wasn't a good look.

So your face as it is right now is perfect and it looks better fuller than it does skinnier. So I appreciate you just saying that because I mean, it's yeah, it's like, there are also like those things, like the comment you made about your arms in the episode, it's like, you don't need to cut the fat out of your arms. You're perfect. And you're tiny. Well, one of them are uneven because i did cool sculpt one of them and not the other one didn't you say that was like maybe just the one yeah yeah no it hurt so bad i couldn't i never went back to do the other arm yeah i paid for it never went back for it idiot that's so stupid there's like all of these things that especially in la that we do to like try and look better yeah okay so you do you say especially

in la but here's the thing nobody in la gives a shit right no one in la says you look fat you look ugly what the fuck are you doing you fucked up no one ever in la who lives here ever fucking says that yeah they don't care. That people who don't live here are the ones who are taught the talk. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like they're the people that sliver the toxic sliver. They're the ones who create this toxicity and then get pissed at the people who live in L.A.

who have the resources to do something like a cool sculpt or you know somebody gets botox or whatever but i'm like bitch nobody lives in la is telling you you need botox no the person who's telling you you need botox that you look or they don't say you need botox i just they just want you to be naturally perfect but guess who wants you to be naturally perfect some bitch in fucking minnesota who's commenting mean ass shit on your instagram on a fake account right with no profile photo and no followers or there's like a bible quote oh my god this is the best one recently i don't remember what the comment was but it was like nasty comment on my page and I I guess this woman who left the nasty comment blocked me I'm like what did I do because I go to look at what everyone's commenting like I

can't even see it and apparently let me in let me in like in her profile apparently it said like spread positivity good lord and it was just like all these people are commenting they're like literally like you're so then I guess she blocked me so i couldn't go and see her you know hypocritical fucking bio but it's always one of those are with a bible quote a picture of their dog like oh loving mother i'm like i i love when a mom comments something nasty and has a public profile i love to go and comment on a photo of her child. Yeah. And say, I hope they never. Yeah. I hope they never hear the shit that comes out of your mouth to a stranger. Yeah.

Like, how would you feel if your kid like, oh, my God, I just heard the saddest fucking story. My little cousin, he's 13 years old. And one of his friends in school just literally hung himself because a girl told him that he should do it. And that like no one liked him and he should just kill himself. Oh my God. 13 years old. Oh no.

It's so heartbreaking that kids like now, I mean, even I got severely bullied in school and thank God my parents put me in private school for high school because who knows where I would have ended up. And nowadays with the internet and the cyber bullying, I think it's because and what's so sad is I wish that positivity was as contagious because even now it's like the the negativity is what we give it we give attention to it because there is like a

weird dopamine there's like a weird rush yeah you get from like like let's say you're like I think my hair is ugly in your mind. You think it you don't say it but you think it right. Someone on the Internet says your hair is ugly. There's like a weird validation that you get from it. Yeah. And a rush of like whether it's anger or whatever that you get from from focusing on that negativity. If only positivity were as contagious. Yeah. As that is. And what sucks is that.

Kids. Who. You know. They don't necessarily have the. The con. The conviction. To know. That like.

It doesn't matter. No. And it's like. It's going to get better. And the anonymity. Yeah. I can make a profile. I could call myself pink couch. Mm-hmm And the anonymity. Yeah. I can make a profile. I could call myself Pink Couch.

Mm-hmm. One, two, three. And I could go online and say awful, horrible things that affect somebody else. Mm-hmm. But I'm anonymous. Yeah. It's like, you know, it's awful. It's a new decade.

Let's make this like, let's try and just spread more positivity fucking pay it forward i am still gonna block people who are dumb though yeah hashtag no stupid people in 2020 hashtag i'm trying to catch up to your followers so i will not be blocking you okay block them if they don't follow you right seriously but um to wrap this up again we will be at sir tonight accepting all of your donations going to the Australia Wildfires. If you can't make it into Sur and you want to donate, click the link on my profile.

And also I will be live texting you guys again next week. My phone number, which I forgot to put in the beginning. I just talked about it. My phone number that I text you from is 310-299-9324. Send me your questions. Send me your thoughts. Say bad things about Brett and make me laugh. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. She's spreading that positivity, guys. I'm kidding. No, but it's just funny when people see what I see. And I'm like, I don't want anyone to talk bad about anyone. Although I kind of just did, but you know what?

He made me do it. He said things that upset me. He did it first, but no, it is not okay to bully. I know I'm kind of coming across as a bitch to Dana right now, but, um, all I can say is stay tuned. Keep watching. We have a long season ahead of us. It's so long. Um, do you think we're going to get a phone call from this podcast? I don't know.

Well, all right. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed our real conversation. Yeah, this is a very real conversation. I also, uh,

if you don't have fancy AF cocktails you really should go ahead and get it uh fancyafcocktails.com also in all stores where you buy books and I'm doing cocktail tutorials every Tuesday yeah on my TikTok hey so follow TikTok. Hey. So follow Ariana on TikTok. Yeah. Buy her book. Ariana, buy her book Maddox. Heck yeah. On Twitter. Thanks for doing my 100th podcast episode. Happy 100th episode.

Yay. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. And thanks for listening, guys. I think this is actually the longest podcast I've done. Oh, wow. Hell yeah. Look at that.

This is a great one. All right. 100 episodes in and we're out. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye. Thanks for listening to Shenanigans. Download new episodes every Tuesday and subscribe on the Podcast One app at podcastone.com or at Apple Podcasts.

And don't forget to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. Outro Music