Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Tales of Taboo with Ali Weiss

Episode Date: April 15, 2022

This week, Scheana is joined by Ali Weiss, host of the Tales of Taboo podcast. The podcast is an anonymous confession show investigating and celebrating what happens behind closed doors… Ali talks about how her show got its start and some of the taboo topics that are discussed. She also opens up about how she has dealt with her anxiety and depression, including crystal sex toys and psychedelics. They also discuss a Vampire ball she attended and tackling the tendency to be people pleasers. Tune in!!!   Follow us: @scheananigans @scheana   It’s all happening for Scheana Shay. Get insight into what it’s like behind the scenes of a reality show, hear some hilarious stories, and be part of a live Q&A where nothing is off the table. Special appearances from other Bravolebs to be announced soon. This is a show Good As Gold that you won’t want to miss! Buy Tickets Here      20% off side-wide April 11th to 17th at www.bollandbranch.com   $10 on your first purchase when you go to www.storyworth.com/shay   Free Shipping and 20% off when use code SHAY at www.manscaped.com   Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Y'all, I am so excited to announce it is finally all happening. Shenanigans is going live May 12th in New York City at City Winery. Tickets are available today. You can get them for $25. We're also doing a VIP meet and greet photo op package for $50. And I'm just so excited to meet you guys, finally take the show live and get into some shenanigans. But first, here's today's episode. Hi, I'm Bethany. And I'm Anthony Garcia. And this is The Garcia Diaries Unfiltered. In this day and age of filters and heavy editing, we believe in sharing the real and raw parts of

marriage, parenthood, and real freaking life that often get filtered over. Every week, we share next level real life confessions from our audience. You'll either feel seen, highly entertained, or maybe even both. Come hang with us and catch a new episode every Friday. Make sure to follow so you don't miss a single confession. From Vanderpump Rules to motherhood and everywhere in between, it's time to catch up with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans. And now here's your host, Sheena Shea. Hello, everyone. Thank you for listening. We've got some more shenanigans we are getting into with the Tales of Taboo host, Allie Weiss. How are you? I'm well, thank you. You look so California right now. Oh my gosh, thank you. You look so healthy and well-lit. Oh, wow. I have a big light right here. You can't see that, but that's the well- lit because I need all the help I can get. I had a

night out last night. No baby. We had both Tom's shots and yeah, I'm like, oh my God, I need Botox. I'm like looking in this mirror right here. Anyway, you're far enough away from the camera that you look absolutely flawless. Whereas like I'm in it and I have a ring light and it's still doing nothing. Well, you look amazing. Your brows are killer. Thank you. Oh my God. Like, thank you very much. Have you just had the best brows since like you were born? Yeah.

So I mean, the thing about my eyebrows is that they were not cool to have for the majority of my life. Like I actually got incessantly bullied for them in middle school and even in high school. And I feel really lucky now that my mom was always like, you can't wax them off. Individuality is cool, like hippie dippy shit, but no one actually wanted big eyebrows until Cara Delevingne got famous. And at that point, I can't go a day now without like five people complimenting my eyebrows, but it's hard for me to digest that they're actually into them because for my whole life, it was hard for me to digest that they're actually into them because for my whole life, it was just like, you're a circus freak, you know? Yeah. No, people

pay good money for brows to look like yours. Now I'm one of my best friends. Raquel feels the same way. I know when she was younger, she said that she would get bullied for her bushy eyebrows as well. And now it's like, people pay. I mean, I have mine microbladed because I chose to pluck all of them out and draw them on because in the late nineties and junior high, that's exactly what you did. And now it's like, I mean, they've grown back ish, but yeah, I have to microblade mine. So I hope there's some sort of procedure that they'll come up with where they can do like eyebrow hair transplants and I can donate some of my eyebrow hairs to women who need them. If I microbladed or if I even like color in my brows, I immediately will have no friends. Like

it's just, it will turn me into a monster. So I'm happy that people like them. And I mean, they're really big right now. You can't really tell, but they're like full form. But yeah, no, again, it just, it was such a not cool thing to have that even now it's been a couple of years of big eyebrows being trendy, but I'm still like, I'm a freak. Nobody look at me. No, there you look so good. So thank you. Thank you for taking the time to chat with me. So I want to get to know you a little better. And for my audience who doesn't listen to your podcast, tell me about how you started this Tales of Taboo. Because I know you started as a food blogger, right? Yeah. And now you've gone through this whole transformation. So I want to get into all of that, all of your different Instagram handles. But tell us about how you started this specific podcast. Yeah. Yeah. So I've rebranded

a lot online and I think I kind of had, you know, like the, the normal existential, who am I, what am I doing? Questioning that all people in their twenties have. I just did it online for a lot of people to see. So as you mentioned, I started out as a food and wellness blogger and I had another podcast that talked about taboo topics, but like kind of specifically within the realm of health and wellness. So like anxiety, depression, addiction, just like women who felt like they were too much for society. And that was really fun. It was a one-on-one podcast format like we're doing now, but it was in the pandemic that I was really obsessed with these two shows. I

don't know if you've ever seen them. They're called Elite and Baby. They're like the Spanish and Italian versions of Gossip Girl. Oh, I haven't seen them. Yeah. They are so juicy and so addictive and just like raunchy and wild. And I couldn't think about anything else. I just became like a crazed fangirl. And over the pandemic, a lot of people were rewatching Gossip Girl and I was watching these shows and I was like, okay, I'm dying to know if what they're showing in these shows is actually the way that things are. Because growing up in New York City, I was in high school with Gossip Girl went live. And I remember that my friends and I would all talk about how what they were showing was like totally inaccurate. Like on the one hand, people were not going to school dressed in head to toe Chanel, but like all of the drug usage and sex that they were showing was not nearly

as bad as it actually was. And so I was like, okay, I need to find a way to get in touch with like European kids who actually live this private school experience. And I put out a casting on my Instagram anonymously saying, I'm looking for kids who grew up really wealthy in Europe. I want to like compare and contrast what it was like going to private school. And the response was just so wild with them being able to have that shield of anonymity. Like I thought I would get maybe three answers and I got dozens of people who were dying to talk. And that got me to thinking like, there's something to this, you know, like we live in this really oversaturated, overexposed time that also, you know, encourages us to share a lot about

ourselves on social media. But that stuff that seems really intimate that we're all sharing, media, but that stuff that seems really intimate that we're all sharing, like what we're eating or our babies or our sex lives, it's honest to a point. We still are very cautious about not pissing people off or not being politically incorrect. You're so right. Not doing anything that's going to get in the way of us being able to like make the algorithm work in our favor and do really well on social. Seriously. Yeah. It's like a real problem. It sounds really like weird to talk about that with anyone who doesn't also like work in social media, but then you talk about it with someone on social media and you're like, the algorithm is the bane of my existence. And even for people who don't work in social media, we all just, we all just want to be someone, you know? Yeah.

And so the success of that episode, which I called Private School Kids, NYC versus Europe, it blew up. And I was like, okay, I think that there is a need for people to be able to share the crazier sides of their existence, but not have to worry about it actually affecting their life. And so I stopped my old show and I created this show, which again, is still dealing with topics that are like more on the taboo side that people are a little bit afraid to talk about. But I give all of my contributors complete anonymity. And what that does is allow them to speak super candidly and honestly, and sometimes really shockingly, but not having to worry about it, like fucking up their employment or their relationships

with their family or their algorithm. I love that. That's so interesting. I was going through your episodes on your podcast and just seeing all of the confessions and just how many different types of people you have like the drug dealer and there were just so many different, I'm like, where do I even start? So you have such a wide range of topics that you discuss on your podcast, which I love. And I love that you are just an open book because sharing your experiences, I've learned that definitely helps people and just speaking out about things that others maybe would keep private. So I commend you for that. Thank you so much. And it's funny, every time I put out a new casting for an episode, I'm always like, this one is too

fucking crazy. There is no way that I'm going to be able to find people who are going to want to share about this. And I have yet to have a subject that I haven't been able to find people either in like my immediate audience or someone will like co-sign me to a friend and be like, oh, this girl's really cool. You should listen to her show or a friend of a friend. And I mean, the fact that I got drug dealers to tell me their stories is like, sometimes even I am just like, what? And the fact that I had all of these escorts telling me their stories about making tons of money off of politicians, it makes me think, I don't know what I'm doing to make people feel safe and comfortable, but it's the honor of my life. And I'm sure you feel this way too with your podcast that I think if you're someone,

especially a woman who's willing to air out their dirty laundry and own their imperfections, it kind of sets the standard and makes other people feel safe because they know that you're not going to judge them. Yeah, totally. Okay. But one thing I know women do judge is a man with hairy balls. And let me tell you, I have had my encounters with them. I don't prefer them. What I do prefer is a man to be cleaned up with Manscaped. So ladies, men, if you're listening, support for shenanigans today is brought to you by Manscaped, who is the best in below-the-waist grooming. Manscaped offers precision engineered tools for your family jewels. Now, Brock recently got the entire performance package from Manscaped,

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and free shipping at manscaped.com. Use code Shay. Unlock his confidence and always use the right tools for a job with Manscaped. So what was your first Instagram handle and how did we get to where we're at now? Oh my God. Okay. So my first Instagram handle was bitches be gluten-free. My best friend came up with that and she came up with it as a way to troll me. This was years ago when I was gluten-free as one of the many weird wellness things that I was doing. And she said that as a way of being like, you're stupid, shut up. And I was like, no, that has a really good ring to it. I think I'm going to keep it. And my thing was like going around. This is in the era of it being really popular to be like a food blogger and take like really pornographic pictures of like oozy, cheesy,

like cheesy burgers. And I don't know if you remember this or if this was big in LA, but in New York, it was huge. Like Food porn pictures were massive. So I was going around and I was trying to do that with health food, but then make my captions really sexual and raunchy to dispel this idea of what a health conscious person is. And it was really fun and I enjoyed it. But I think one morning I just like woke up and was like, what the hell am I doing here? This is not the path that I wanted to follow. Like I've always wanted to be an actor and a writer. And I think I just got very sucked into like, wow, people are paying attention to me online. This seems to be worth more of my time than me actually pursuing my creative goals. But for a while, I was fully a food person, which is weird because I'm a terrible cook.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Not good. I'm a mess. And I don't have the patience to wait for things either. I feel like I wait for things to boil or cook for the recommended amount of time. And I'm just like, I'm hungry and I want it now. So everything I eat is just underdone or just not something that anyone should be serving at a dinner party. Interesting. So Bitches Be Gluten-Free is where it started. Yeah. Yeah.

Still humiliating even to this day. And it's been years since I rebranded. Yeah. Okay. So did you have any others or was it just from that Allie Weiss world? So it started at Bitches Be Gluten Free and then it became Health Is Hell because after I had this... Okay. That's the other one I was thinking of. There was another episode I was listening to you on and that was your handle at the time. Yes. So after I had that

kind of like white girl spiritual awakening of awakening of how did I become somebody who's known for posting photos of kale, I wanted to keep my audience but not have to talk about food anymore. But knowing that they were in the wellness space, I was like, okay, let's transfer this over to more mental health and not so much like physical health or trying to be some sort of like, you know, granola goddess. And that was also great for a while. And when I started my first podcast that I was telling you about where I casted the private school kids episode. Yeah. But again, I felt stuck, you know, like I feel like something that people who don't work on social media, what they don't realize is that it is like a full-time job. It's really all consuming. And I'm saying this as somebody who barely has a following

in comparison to somebody like you. You have enough followers to take up an entire city, whereas I have enough for a small town. But even so, when you're like a full-time content creator, A, you become really focused on churning out as much content as you possibly can. And B, all you're focused on is like, how well is my content going to do? And like, are people going to like this? Are people going to resonate with this? So as rewarding as like my podcast was and as nice as it was for me to finally have a space to like talk honestly about how fucked up I felt and not have to kind of subtly do that through like posting pictures of food, but just able to like admit that straight out as rewarding as that was,

it still didn't feel like I was like living my truth. And it also felt like really narcissistic and indulgent, which is something I struggle with on social media, you know, especially now, like there's this expectation for us to share about ourselves and to try to create a community around who we are and what we do. But at a certain point, it feels weird to just be talking about yourself all the time, at least in my experience. No, I can see what you're saying there too. Sometimes I'll post something or even a vlog or whatever and And people, the comments they make, and I'm like, you realize you were following me and my life and my story. So I am going to post

about me or I had posted something about, it was one of my vlogs with my daughter. And someone was like, if I wanted to follow Summer Moon, I would follow Summer Moon. I don't follow her. I follow you. And I want to watch the day in your life. I'm like, a day in my life is my baby. That is literally like that comment just didn't make any sense to me. Like, first of all, she doesn't have her own YouTube channel yet, but it was just like, you realize you people, people, exactly. But I actually have a question for you because, you know, I've done so much, like, this sounds so ridiculous, but like self-exploration through social media and have grappled so much with like this persona that's kind of been built for me online versus like how I actually identify. And I wonder, like, did you ever fall prey to that? Or did you find

yourself in a situation where like maybe people felt as though they had gotten to know like a part of you or a version of you through you being on TV, but that wasn't really like how you identify? Did you ever feel like you had to play into what people expected from you and like kind of give up some of your real personality in the process? of give up some of your real personality in the process? Yes and no. Like I feel like in the beginning, the show, I mean, it was very accurate with where we were at in our lives. I think we've evolved so much in our lives and you don't see all of that, which is why I started my YouTube channel. But I think for me, like with social media, I don't know. I've always been very much an open book. And I feel like because I am on a show that is an ensemble cast, it does get edited down to, you know, just minutes of my life. I've always wanted to try and share more on social media so people get a bigger overall like picture of who I am because I don't think you get all of that on the show. of who I am because I don't think you get all of that on the show.

Yeah. And do you feel like people are receptive to that? Or do you feel like when you kind of step away from the edited show version of you, people are like, we want more of what we've come to expect on TV? A little bit of both. I think the people who want more, I mean, like there are people who really care and are genuinely invested in our lives. And then there's the other people who just follow you. They watch the show. They see nothing else about your life and they just talk shit on every photo you post. So it's like there are two kinds of people in this world. And for the most part, it is very positive. I think it used to be more negative for me several years ago. And then I actually kind of got a taste of that again this past year based on people who only met Brock on season nine and didn't get to know him on our vlogs. I was at a live podcast last night with two of my friends here in LA and someone came up to

me and she was like, I'm so glad that I got to meet Brock first. And I thought she was meaning like tonight or I was like, wait, what? And I'm like, oh yeah, you know, you just met. And she was like, no, no, watching your YouTube. Like I got to meet him. So when the show started, she's like, we already knew who he was from your vlogs. And so I love that. And I appreciate that so much with people when they take the time

to watch the other parts of social media, when they take the time to watch the other parts of social media, because that's where you really get to know us better, I think. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. And I think that that's something that I have struggled with for a long time because, you know, part of what like motivated me to want to speak out about not only like wellness via gluten-free food, but also just like mental health was that I always have struggled with that. Like I was depressed for the overwhelming majority of my life. I was anxious for the overwhelming majority of my life, had undiagnosed ADD and just kind of felt like I was too much in all ways. But years ago, especially like pre-Me Too, you didn't really see a lot of messy women in the media landscape who weren't stand-up comedians. And so when I was younger, around 20,

when things were really bad for me, I was looking for somebody that I could relate to online and I just wasn't seeing it. And so I decided that I wanted to step into that role. And what happened with that is because I guess not that many people at the time were talking, especially again, as women about feeling unhinged or having substance abuse struggles or being depressed or feeling like too much or, you know, dating woes or whatever it was, I kind of got this reputation for being like a bad girl and especially like a wellness bad girl, which is filled with, you know, the wellness industry is filled with women who are like the image of perfection. And so that was obviously cool that I was doing something that hadn't been done, but it also made me feel weird because I've always personally identified as like this kind of kooky, like theatery New York Jewish girl. And all of a sudden I was painted as this kind of likeooky, like theater-y New York Jewish girl. And all of a sudden I was painted as this kind of like wild chick. And then through that, because that's what

people were responding so well to, I felt the need to give more of that side of myself because it is a side of me. It's just not all of me. And so that's a huge reason why I've rebranded so much as well. I mean, aside from realizing that I was not passionate about kale, you know, it was like beyond that, I just, I wanted to get closer and closer to really being able to show off an authentic version of me. And, you know, I think I went really far in one direction of kind of wanting to be edgy, wanting to be something different, wanting to be like relatable. And now I'm in the process of pulling it back to show equally my vulnerable side and my super candid side and being like, not perfectly imperfect, just imperfect, period. I love that. Yeah. Well, no, I just, I think that's so big of you because it's not easy to put yourself out there to be

judged and to be vulnerable. And I think what you're doing will help and has already, I'm sure, helped so many women. So good on you. And, you know, in the moments of self-doubt that I have, it's like I was saying before about the drug dealers, I was like, how the hell did I get drug dealers to talk to me? And like, I myself have never been a drug dealer, but I think it has a lot to do with, you know, if someone is willing to put themselves on the line and they're willing to put their name and their face along with their story, somebody who is allowed to have the shield of anonymity is going to feel more inclined to talk openly. And I think that as opposed to my show health is hell, which was me totally airing out my dirty laundry every week with Tales of Taboo and it being completely anonymous, I tried

to set the stage for it to be all about my guests, all about my contributors and not really about me. But I've been so inspired by how vulnerable my contributors are willing to be with me that it's actually inspired me to give up more of myself. So it's been this round process. But like I said, when we first started talking, I feel like a girl who is working corporate jobs, who changes jobs like a hundred times when she's in her 20s because she doesn't know what she wants to do. I feel like I've done that. But in the micro-influencer slash podcaster landscape, which is just, it's weird,

but it doesn't not make sense to me. So the older I get, the more I'm happy about my decision to have chosen to live my life this way. And one good way to live your life is by not skipping a beat when it comes to the sheets you sleep on. Y'all have heard me talk about them before, and I'm going to talk to you about them again because they are the best. Bull and Branch, y'all. They use the best 100% organic cotton threads on earth for superior softness and a better night's sleep. So did y'all know that thread count is a myth because it doesn't matter how many threads your sheet have if they're not the best threads possible. Now, what are some things that keep getting better as you use them? You know, a great leather jacket, cast iron skillet,

solid wood furniture. But would you ever think that sheets could be on that list? Because with bowl and branch, the sheets aren't just buttery, breathable. They're impossibly comfortable. They get softer with every wash. They are the best. For Brock, who is the warm sleeper, for me, who is the cold sleeper, for every season, they're the best. You'll immediately feel the difference of their iconic signature sheets. Trust me. And best of all, Bull & Branch gives you a 30-night risk-free trial with free shipping and returns on all orders. Get 20% off site-wide April 11th to April 17th only at bullandbranch.com. That's bullandbranch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D, branch.com for 20% off sitewide April 11th through the 17th. So I know you were saying that you had struggled with anxiety and depression for a big part of your life. Oh, yeah. I saw some interesting things that you experimented with to try and heal those things. So what would

you say is the craziest thing you did to try and help with your anxiety or depression? Oh my God, girl, how much time do you have? I mean, so many years going off the rails. I mean, aside from like the usual psychedelics, Kundalini yoga, smoking essential oils out of a vape, putting THC up my butt. The craziest one I think I did was, I don't know if you've seen them, but there's a line of sex toys that are made out of crystal. I've heard about this. My girlfriend, Billie, is trans, and she would have to use one to keep her vagina open because it doesn't naturally dilate. And I was like, wait, what? Yes.

This is a thing? So I had never heard about this until Billie. And yeah, so go ahead. It is real. And there's this whole line of like, I'm, I'm hesitant to call them dildos because they're not shaped like penises. They're like rods, essentially thick rods are like made from different types of crystal. And you're supposed to choose according to what kind of crystal it is. Um, so that you can kind of bring that energy into yourself. I'm sorry, but I actually forget what kind I crystal it is so that you can kind of bring that energy into yourself. I'm sorry,

but I actually forget what kind I ended up choosing, but it was green, whatever that means. It was a green one. And they give you this set of instructions about how you need to like hold it to your chest and like allow your energy to sync with it before you start masturbating. And then when you start masturbating, like again, it doesn't feel like a penis. It's not like ridged. It's not texturized. It's a stone, a cold stone that you're putting into your vagina as a way to both insert like new positive energy, but also expel negative energy. Here's what I will say. It absolutely did not work for bringing in or expelling any sort of energy. However, it felt shockingly good. Like it was one of the best sex toys that I've ever used.

I wouldn't use it to try to like fix my chakras, but I would totally use it to come. So that was definitely up there with one of the weirder things I've ever done. And then I also did a partnership with this company on Instagram. So my poor parents had to watch a whole sketch that I wrote and acted about me masturbating with crystals. And I don't think they've ever forgiven me. Oh, wow. No, that is embedded in their brain forever. Like, oh God, our daughter. Oh God, I have a daughter. She's a baby right now. I can't even think about when she's going to be older. Oh my God. And the things, yeah, our parents, yeah, my parents have lived through some things that I've done as well. And I'm like, sorry, you might want to fast forward through that scene. Don't watch that. A hundred percent. And you know, it's like for as much as you choose to put yourself out

there and you're like, this is really great. Like me being myself is helping other people to be themselves. Sometimes we don't consider that like our poor parents don't want to see us as the people that we come across on public forums, you know? And so I think about this all the time. I don't have kids yet. I'm excited for the day that I do have them. But I think all the time I'm like, oh my God, what if I have a daughter who's like me? Like what if I have a daughter who's not only going to masturbate with crystals, but make a sketch about it and put it on Instagram. I also partnered with a bidet company. So like wrote this whole sketch about like me, like tinkering around with a bidet. And I just, I look back on it and I'm like, wow, like I was having so much fun, but also my concept of like

what was appropriate and what wasn't appropriate just for whatever reason did not exist at that time. I think in my wellness era, I was also like blacked out or like fully dissociated. Oh my God. That's funny. I saw a list of other things that you've done. And one I wanted to ask you about, it said that you've been to a vampire's ball. Is this like people who think they are vampires? Are there real vampires? Because I would like to be one if so. So I'm very intrigued to hear about this ball you went to. First and foremost, if you want to be a vampire and you have some money to throw around, there's a company that makes custom fangs. And they're actually quite fetishistic. I think that the people who buy them are either one of two people, people who actually identify as vampires, of which there are many,

and people who kind of want it for fetish kinkyinky sex. I, in my exploration of like subcultures and trying to see if people were happier than I was, I found myself in a lot of like strange subculture party situations. And yes, the vampire ball was one of them. So honestly, like to the outsider, it kind of is like a fetish party. There's a lot of people who are wearing latex or there's a lot of people who are dressed up in like Renaissance clothing, not to mention that there's like fangs in their mouths. I don't want to speak for the vampires. I don't know if they actually identify as vampires or if cosplaying vampires allows them to like express a side of themselves that otherwise maybe they couldn't. But I will tell you people who are like, quote unquote, weird are really

fucking fun and they're really fun because they don't care. And that's been the most rewarding thing about like any party that I've gone to that is, I want to say a themed, but like geared towards a particular subculture is like when these people get together and they're surrounded only by people who understand them or are them, or people like me who are like curious and nonjudgmental, certainly not a vampire, but like all about it, they feel free to just like let loose and do their thing. And I think that there's such a valuable lesson to be learned from people who kind of exist on like the fringes of society, which is like when we all stop caring

about what like mainstream society says, which includes, you know, mean people in your YouTube comments or people in your community who like don't really understand certain choices that you make, or even like our own parents or our own friends. If we all stopped worrying so much about that, we would be so much happier. And I know it sounds so basic. And so like, duh, Ali, like obviously, but I think that when you

see it in such an extreme environment, such as with people who do cosplay or who are interested in fantasy in that way, but they buy so hard into what they're doing and they believe in it so much and like create spaces where other people can come and do the same. It was such an eye-opening thing for me to watch because I realized like, wow, I should probably stop caring as much as I do. I should probably stop trying to appeal to be such a people pleaser because it's so freeing to not do that. How does one become not a people pleaser? Because I could use any tips. Oh my God, babe. I'm right there with you. And I read that you wanted to be an actor, right? You've always identified as an actress and a performer. And I think that anybody who wants to be a

performer is innately a people pleaser. We we can't be performers without an audience and even right. Right. And the roles that we've stepped into now, you know, doing reality TV or being on social media or having a podcast, it's, it's all about, we can't be us unless there are people responding to us, fawning over us with compliments or even just providing feedback and taking the time to listen. So that's something that I'm always working on is like, how do I care less? And I think that when it comes to the general public, there have been a couple instances where I've been badly bullied online because of my association with certain media companies. That I've learned to tune out because I don't really care about the opinions of people who don't know me at all and are judging me just based on like certain pictures or videos or podcasts that I put out.

But I do really care about the opinion of like my friends and my family. And for as much as I acknowledge them, I'm a very different person from a lot of them. You still don't want to be like a disappointment. Like you don't want to be the disappointment. Girl, I feel you. I don't know. Have you made any progress in that department? Like, especially as you've gotten older and you've become a mom, like I've heard that becoming a mom just changes your perspective on everything.

It definitely does. And it just, it puts things in perspective, like what is important. And this past year I've learned that more than ever. And there's certain friends that I've kind of cut out of my life or just, you know, don't put any energy and effort into anymore because I'm like, this shit may be the most important thing in your life, but my priorities are just not centered around this right now. And the amount of hormones I had last year, filming a show three days after coming home from the hospital and then having these girls come at me who say they're my friends. It's just my priorities have shifted. And I think that comes with, you know, growth and perspective and all of that. But I think now I'm at least trying to be better at saying no. You know, I'm currently living down in San Diego. I'm not always going to drive up to LA

for your birthday party when normally I would. But I'm like, no, that's not my priority anymore. I would love to be there. I would love to celebrate, but my priorities have definitely shifted. Yeah, definitely. And I think in the moments that I've struggled with that, I come back to something very simple, which is I have always been at my happiest when I am doing what is right for me. Anytime that I have gotten too lost in trying to please other people, it's always turned into just like, I call it domino brain, like one domino falls and the rest of it falls. And you just like enter into this anxiety spiral. And that's the case with the relationship that I have to social media, but also in my personal

life. Like you think like my family and friends are like super down with me, like going and chilling with vampires or like going to a fetish party or like decide deciding to travel in the deep South and like throw dead fish across the Florida, Alabama border. No, like everybody thinks I'm insane. Everyone thinks I'm absolutely batshit insane. But I just have to remember that for whatever reason, that's what makes me happy. And I can't be the best daughter. I can't be the best friend, the best girlfriend, unless I'm taking care of myself first. So that's something that I've just been trying to remind myself of is I can't be the most loving, open, productive member of my community unless I'm doing whatever it is that like self-care means to me. And I think that's a very important lesson for a lot of people in so many different stages of life to stand by is, you know, you can't be a good version of yourself to anyone else unless you're happy with yourself. Like you have to put yourself first, you know,

to be the best friend, the best mom, the best worker, to be the best anything. And that's something that I've learned a lot over the past year. And I am trying to, you know, use that in my daily life as well with like my friends who I have so many friends right now who are new moms, who are pregnant, who want to have the night nurse and are like, don't judge me like I know you didn't. I'm like, no, no, I do not judge you. I said for me personally, I didn't want that. But I think whatever you have to do to be the best version of yourself for your kid, that is what's most important, you know, for your boss, for your best friends, whatever it is like you do have to have that self-care, that self-love. And I think that is so important. So I think. Yeah. And especially as women, you do have to have that self-care, that self-love. And I think that is so important. So

I think, yeah. And especially as women, you know, obviously you and I are performers, but I think all women have the tendency to people please, or to be really afraid of, um, like pissing people off or disappointing people. And like, I don't want to make generalizations like it's 2022, but I do think that there's just a lot of expectation on women to be able to like seamlessly fit every role that's expected of them and like be perfect doing it. And I think we just all kind of get lost in that tendency to, to not want to like let anybody down, especially because, especially with female friendships, they're so weighted, right? They're so emotional. Like we invest so much into each other as women and mother-daughter

relationships. We invest so much into each other that you never want to feel like you're not pulling your weight. But it's ironic because something that shaped all of my work is I didn't really figure out what self-care meant to me until I rejected everything, quote unquote, normal. At first, I thought that self-care was via food. Then I thought that self-care was via taking care of my mental health through exploiting it and talking about it and trying to heal it through all these bizarre wellness practices. But it was only through Tales of Taboo and this new era of my work where I started hanging out with people that, again, a lot of mainstream people

see as being really weird or degenerate or different. It was only when I started doing that that I was like, oh, it actually feels really good for me to just say no to everything I've been told that I should do or the ways in which I should behave. And this is not to say that I'm advising all of your listeners that they should quit their jobs and go to the craziest party that they can find in their neighborhood. You know what I mean? But I do think that there's so much power in simply, as you said, stepping up and saying no, whether that's to a social plan or to expectations that your parents or your boss or your friends have for you, there's so much power in saying no. And I'm so happy that I've spent the past couple of years behaving like an absolute

freak because in learning all the lessons that I did from that, it's allowed me to re-acclimate to more polite society, if you will, just being a much better version of myself. Okay, wait. So a couple things. You mentioned mother-daughter relationships. And I don't know if you have heard of StoryWorth, but it's this really cool thing. So it's this online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories, and it preserves them for years to come. So I feel like my mom is my best friend, and I feel like we are so close, but there are so many things that I have learned about her that I didn't know before.

So every week, StoryWorth emails your mom or mother figure, whoever you want in your life, a thought-provoking question of your choice from a vast pool of possible questions. Each prompt asks ones like, if you could do something you never did or always wanted to do, what would it be? Literally any question you can think of. God, I've asked my mom so many. I can't even think. But I've enjoyed reading all of her answers to those questions. It's like I've learned so many new stories and memories and things I've heard about, but I never really knew and I thought I did. So after one year, StoryWorth compiles all of those questions and stories, including photos, into a beautiful

keepsake book for the whole family to share for generations and generations to come. And I feel like things like this are important because everything is just so digital. And you know, Instagram. And is Instagram always going to be around? What if, you know, just everything crashes on the internet one day and you don't have Instagram? Like having things like this in a book are the best. So give all the moms in your life a meaningful gift you'll both cherish for years, StoryWorth. Right now, for a limited time, you'll save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com slash Shea. That's S-T-O-R-Y W-O-R-T-H.com slash Shea to save $10 on your first purchase. StoryWorth.com slash Shea. So you mentioned how, you know, obviously we're both performers. So I'm going to be performing

in New York actually next month. So if you're around, I would love to have you come to the live show. Oh my God. That's so exciting. Where are you doing it? Yeah. It's going to be at City Winery on May 12th. Bitch, City Winery is a really good venue. Really? That's legit. Oh my God, I'm so excited. It's my first show. Like major, major musicians perform there. Like authors read their work. It's like a cultural institution. So props to you. That's awesome.

What are you doing for it? Are you interviewing someone? Are you just like riffing solo? So I have some guests lined up. We're just waiting to see with their filming schedule that they'll be available for sure. So I'm not announcing who it is until probably end of April because I just want to make sure I know how it works with Bravo.

And you're not filming one day, the next day you're filming. So I'm not going to announce those just yet because I don't want to announce it and then they aren't able to and disappoint people. But I will be there. Brock will be there. And it's going to be fun. We're going to play some games. There might be some good as gold. But yeah, I would love to have you come and meet in person since we're doing this, you know, virtually. No, that would be awesome. And I was also going to say to you, I'm going to

be in L.A. from the 19th to the 27th. And I really want you to come on my show. Oh, I would love to do that. I would love to interview you. I've listened to a lot of your past episodes. As I said, I like, I love your interviewing style, but you've mentioned so many anecdotes in your past interviews where I'm like, Ooh, like this is interesting. And there are so many things that I think are just so awesome about the way that like you've chosen to, to hold yourself like within your career, but also your experience as a woman. And I think that we would have like an amazing time diving deeper into that if you're willing to come. Let's do it. I'm so down. I'll look at the sketch and yeah, let's do it. That sounds so fun. Tell me what is next for Allie. So now that I've, like I said, kind of re-acclimated to polite society, meaning like

being back in New York, living in Manhattan and not constantly running away to do something dramatic, I am working on a book about all of my experiences with strangers and with subcultures, kind of reflecting on the past couple of years of my podcast and my travels. And my hope is to turn that into a one woman theater show and get back to my theater. So that's what I'm working on. It like makes me really nervous and tingly to even like say that out loud because there's just so much work to do leading up to that. But I think for a long time, as I got further and further away from my background as an actor in my theater training and, you know, fell into this strange world, I was like, what am I doing? Like, what am I here to say? What's my purpose? And a lot of the time when I was going on these adventures I was going on, I didn't realize why I was doing it. Or when I was asking to talk to drug dealers or hang out with escorts, I didn't quite realize

why I was doing it. But it's led me to this amazing place now where I've learned so many valuable lessons about like what it means to be alive and what it means to be happy. And so I just want to take all that and translate it into something digestible and then hopefully create a live experience around it. Wait, that would be so fun. Would you want to take it on tour or would you want it based in New York? Like what would you think for that? Or both? I think both. I think both. Yeah, have a little residency and then take it on the road. Exactly. I think that if I can charm the really obnoxious elitist New York art crowd, then I know I've done something right. Because if you can start with the people who are going to be

the most judgmental of your work, you're onto something. And then after that, I think I'd like to go on tour with it. So yeah, I mean, I think most of my listeners are in New York and LA, which makes my life really easy that I don't have to go to Arkansas. Not that there's anything wrong with Arkansas. I'd love to be in Arkansas. I'm sure there's a vampire ball in Arkansas. But yeah, it feels really good to, as you said, through growth and through trial and error and through saying no, it just feels really good to land in a position where you finally feel good about yourself and confident in your choices. And for as much as sometimes I wish I was spending the last couple of years performing and not being

this weird podcaster adventurer, I got to kind of go through all of those really difficult years of my 20s to land in a position where now I'm like, okay, I actually have something to say. And I'm not just like talking out of my ass or trying to turn nothing into something. So that I think more than anything else is like the thing that I'm the most excited about is like being in this chapter where I just feel whole. Sorry, that's like dark. No, I'm excited for you and to see what's next. And I would love to come to your show when it happens because it'll happen. Thank you. It will happen. I'm, I'm also a big believer in manifestation. Put that shit out in the universe. It's all going to happen. It's all happening. A hundred percent. Oh my God. Yeah. Perfect. What a perfect opportunity to show the dog.

Yeah, no. So, so I'm really stoked about it. And throughout anything that I choose to do work-wise, my goal is always just trying to inspire others to be the most authentic, candid, weird, wacky version of themselves and hopefully try to prove that, again, the less we give a shit about what other people have to say about us, the more rich our life will be. Definitely. Well, thank you so much for coming on Shenanigans. This has been so fun. Please tell everyone where they can find you. Thank you for having me. You are a fantastic host. It's a joy to talk to you. Everybody can find me on Instagram at Allie Weiss World, W-E-I-S-S. And my podcast is called Tales of

Taboo and can be found wherever you stream your podcast. Boom. Thank you so much for listening, guys. Talk to you next week. Mic drop. Should I drop my mic? Yeah, mic drop. Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Download new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah. Do you want it? Let me see you shake that. Do you need it? Let me see you shake that. Do you want it? Let me see you shake that.

Come and get it. Let me see you shake that. Step in the club, little black dress.