Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - Tea Time with Lala Kent

Episode Date: November 25, 2022

This week, Scheana sits down with Lala Kent to discuss the evolution of their friendship. Lala opens up about her plans for having another baby by next year, the challenges of co-parenting, and dating again. They discuss the ups and downs from the past of their friendship and why they're in the best place they've ever been. Tears are shed from both parties in this emotional episode! Tune in now to find out more about postpartum OCD, Lala's journey with sobriety, and what to expect from VPR Season 10! Follow us: @scheana @scheananigans   Produced by Dear Media    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. From Vanderpump Rules to motherhood and everywhere in between, it's time to catch up with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans. And now here's your host, Sheena Shea. Hello, hello, everyone. We are back in studio getting into some very fun shenanigans with someone who, if you told me two years ago, was going to be sitting across from me on shenanigans, I would have said you're fucking crazy. The one and only Lala Kent. Wait, you really would have thought that? Where we were at because of this podcast two years ago?

Yes, you're right. See, I forget. Yeah. I'm like, we moved on. So I literally like when I make up with people. Yeah. Forget why we were even fighting. See, I don't forget. I just don't let it still be something festering. Yeah, you're smart. And that's where I feel like you and I are so similar that we can just shake shit off, let it go, get back to where we were. And other people are like, how the fuck did you do that? Because that's how we do things. Like prime example, after James and Raquel's engagement party, we go at it and then we got in a car to leave together because you were the sober driver and we were staying at the same hotel. I was like, you have no choice but to get in my car, bitch.

Let's go. It's like, it is what it is. I feel like that's healthy. I think so, too. And I feel like we actually really do care about each other. We do. And I feel like we're in the best place that we've ever been. We really did find what works for our friendship.

No, we honestly, I think, are the closest we've ever been. Like we really did find what works for our friendship. Now, we honestly, I think, are the closest we've ever been. I think definitely having children exactly six weeks apart, which should have even been three weeks. So crazy. I know that has brought us so much closer, too. Well, I just love you so much. And I love you. Thanks, babe. Yeah, I was binging your podcast all morning. So I hadn't listened to the Brock episode yet. So I listened to that. And then you like it. I loved it.

People fell so hard for him after that episode. Yeah, I was so excited to release that episode and people loved it. Yeah, me too. I was glad that you guys finally sat down and did that. I know you had talked about it for a while, but it was so good. Yeah. And he was like, I don't know if I want to come into your lion's den. I was like, he's like, maybe we do it on Sheena's. Yeah. Right. Where it's a more controlled setting. Yeah. But then I was also listening to your episode with Lauren Bostic and Michael, and it was just so good and so inspiring. And like women in business, I just think need to listen to that episode because it was so

good and it made me like want to go and post my eyelashes right away. My merch. So I'm wearing my merch because I'm like, I need to be better at being my own boss and my own brand and just putting it out there like you do. Well, the thing is, is number one, we got bills to pay. Yeah. And if I'm going to be promoting something, it might as well be my own stuff. Yeah.

That I know that I love and I'm really wearing it. So, you know, if I'm not going to wear it, I'm not going to promote it. Totally. Whether it's mine or someone else's. Yeah. So thanks for listening to my podcast. Of course. Another view.

Yeah. And I do, I want to talk about your brands because, okay, we've got Give Them Lala Beauty. We've got the Give Them Lala Baby. Yep. Give Them Lala Skin. I mean, you have your podcast. You are literally doing it all. How do you balance being a working mom with so many businesses?

I think I have to attribute that to my assistant, Jessica, because she keeps everything very organized. I don't have to think about anything. She designates time for everything that we need to do. We're busy Monday through Friday because I'm also even though I have a lot of support as far as Ocean goes, I am considered a single mom. Like I'm the main person that's bringing in money to the household and it's much bigger. The stakes are much higher now. I have to make sure that if my daughter wants to go to college one day that I can provide that for her. Yeah. So I have to stay hustling. And there's moments where things don't hit like launches that I thought would be amazing.

And I'm like, where did we go wrong here? But instead of feeling right, you know, I know a brand. Yeah. When that happens, we just go back to the drawing board. I don't feel defeated. It almost adds fuel to my fire. Like, how do we work the kinks out so that the next time we do better? I love that, actually, because that's something I feel like I am such a sensitive person that I need to Shake that kind of stuff off more if something doesn't sell right away. It's not like what did I do wrong? It's like, okay. How do we change it? Right? I love that perspective. What happens with all of us? Not everything. I don't care who you are. I mean look at kardashians. They've done a lot

Of businesses. I mean, I remember walking in and they had like hair care. Where the fuck is the hair care now? I don't know. Right? Yes. Like there are going to be things that just hit and it's like, here it is. This is the golden ticket. Yeah.

And other things that don't stick. And that's fine. Yeah. Well, give them Lala Beauty has definitely hit. You've been doing it, what, six years now? Yeah. Wow. Congratulations.

Thank you, babe. And we I mean, I only sell on social media. Yeah. So I'm extremely grateful. I don't know why it's stuck, but it did. So I'll take it. Yeah. No, I love that.

You pair it with some Viva Verano lashes and we've just got a great set, you know? You have the best lashes. I cut mine down because I'm- You do? I cut them in half sometimes. Well, no one does lashes like you. I've never seen anything like it. Sheena can do her lashes in a compact mirror and uses her nails as tweezers.

I'm like, this, she's a magician. What the fuck? I can't do it. So I cut mine down and then like almost do them like individuals. Yeah, I love that. They're amazing. Yeah. So many questions came in.

I don't even know where to get started but I do want to say just especially after listening to the podcast I listened to this morning and knowing what last month represented for you not only four years of sobriety but I know October 27th was a huge day and that's like your independence day so I just want to congratulate you on four years of sobriety and a year of just being the badass bitch that you are because you are so inspiring. Well, thank you for acknowledging that. And I have to say, and I'll probably get emotional, but like you've been really amazing. So thank you for being there. Of course. Sorry. No, I cry a lot. I cry daily. It really is a daily thing. And I wake up and I'm like, why are you puffy again? Oh, we cried a lot today and yesterday

and the day before. Yeah. I mean, I know you and I have been on this roller coaster since what season fucking four. Yeah, it's been a long time. And, you know, it is hard when you're in this setting because we make friends with people the other person isn't getting along with at the time and trying to balance that while staying together. It's not always easy, but I'm so happy that we have fully found our way back to each other because I feel like now it's unbreakable. I do too. Yeah. And I feel like people are going to see this season that, you know, we still have our moments of you and I disagreeing, but because we worked so hard to lay the groundwork, like how we're going to

make this friendship stay where it needs to be. I felt like we were totally on the same page. Yeah, definitely. And I love that because I'm not letting you go. Yeah, no, you're stuck with me. I find you. Did I say that? I think it was like season six at the bar, me wasted at Peter's birthday. And I was like, you're stuck with me, bitch.

And I meant it. Yeah, here we are. But I just, I love seeing our girls grow up together. I know we didn't get our pregnancies fully together, but right at the end of it, like when it really mattered, we came together. I was getting updates on your dilation number. And I just feel like ever since then, it's like, fuck it. The past doesn't matter.

And we're good. You know what, though? You and I have this in common where when monumental moments happen, if we're not connecting, we put that shit to the side. And that's something that I'm grateful for that I can do that. And I'm grateful you can do that, too. Totally. And other people don't understand it.

But I also don't care because they don't need to understand for us. And it's like that was one of the issues last season is certain people who also don't care because we do what works for us and it's like that was one of the issues last season is certain people who I don't want to give any attention to by naming are just like but I don't get it like how could you be friends with her again and like is this going to affect our friendship and I'm like no this is separate just because Lala and I are working on

Lala and I doesn't change anything else like I'm just focusing on us when it's us you know right yes. Yes. Yeah. By the way, that person, that video, I was like, I remember my first drink. Put the bottle down, bitch. Ain't a good luck. Tell me about it. I was like, you think that you're spilling tea and being shady. You actually are just needing to crawl back into a hole right now. And it's also like projection at its finest. I'm the loser.

Really? Like, look at what you're doing right now. Okay. Okay. We're just gonna not even there we go. Give that any. That's all we'll give it, baby. That's it. So a lot of people wanted to know and I think this is something that's really interesting for us with our dynamic as we've just been mentioning is how do you navigate the constant changes of the friendship dynamics in this group we don't need to name names but obviously not all of us get along but you are pretty much good with everyone so how has let's just say the last six months how difficult has that been for you navigating these friendships when sometimes I don't want to be around one of those bitches? I kind of just go with the flow of things. Yeah. It's like if I know that you're going to be uncomfortable around certain people,

then I'm not going to bring you around those people and vice versa. And, you know, I've always stuck by the fact that I think that you have one of the most amazing hearts that I've ever come in contact with. So when there's people you're not connecting with that have a perspective on you, you know, I let them vent. Yeah. And I say, I don't see it that way. And then we move on. But I just I go with the flow, number one, because I know it could change tomorrow. Totally. And number two, with everything I'm dealing with in my other part of life. Yeah. It is just so minuscule. Absolutely.

I don't mean to like put that. No, but that shit's like, come on. I mean, there's bigger problems in the world. I got a lot going on. Yeah. And this, but sometimes it feels nice. Sometimes it feels nice when people come to me and they want to vent because I'm like, oh, this petty shit feels so good.

I like this kind of drama. Yeah. That's why you watch so much reality TV. I can't get enough. I know. I heard you had a Jersey Shore obsession moving on from Housewives because you've probably watched every episode of every Housewife, right? Yes. Yeah, I have. And I just restarted. I'm on Beverly Hills season four right now. Oh, yeah. Row back. I love a good throwback. And I feel like watching reality

TV helps me in the space that we're in. Yeah. Because you watch it and moments that I remember them coming, these episodes coming out and these women being slammed cut to where we are now. And it's like those moments are so iconic. Oh, I know. So when we're doing our thing, I'm like, I'm just going to be me and say whatever I feel, because it may not hit right now, but later on it may be. Yeah. You know, totally. Like when the bambi eyed bitch thing happened let's make a palette yeah now yeah but back then it was like you're unhinged you're crazy now i have people being like baby i bitch that's iconic and i'm like okay so we we can move on from things totally and that's the thing that i do love like about us is how we can move on from

shit but at the same time when our friends aren't getting along, like our flight coming back from BravoCon, for example, you know, you're having your piece to say about my friend. And I'm just like, I don't see it that way. Yeah. But OK. Right. Here's how I feel. You didn't agree with it. And it's like, OK, we can just move on.

We don't need to let that affect us. We're like each other's venting boards totally because also like i'll see where you're coming from but i have so much love for this person that i just don't see it that way and i think you understand too where i'm coming from but then you also see her perspective so totally and when perspective but even though you don't respond when i'm going in, like I'm not talking to you thinking like she's going to cave and talk shit with me. Yeah. I just want to project onto you for five minutes. Yeah.

And then we can move on. Totally. I love it. So another person you have moved on with that we've seen on social media is Amber. Yeah. How did that friendship start and how often do you guys see each other? That started, I had left the relationship and I got a DM from her asking me something about her oldest daughter. And she asked if she could call me or I told her to call me. I can't remember

who said what, but it started with a DM about her oldest daughter. Then we started talking. I had a breakdown. And, you know, she and I have had many conversations where I've apologized for, you know, my part in what happened. And this one was where she finally was like, Lala, you have to let this go. Like, I forgive you. And we started actually putting pieces of the puzzle together because we started like talking every day. And we were like, holy shit, this is so crazy that like this was going on. And the two of us were like in a relationship with the same person. And he was like kind of cheating on both of us with the other person. Yeah. And then we just found ourselves like calling each other to talk about our day.

Mm-hmm. And she's one of like my closest friends. I love that. Yeah. And we just, you know, we call each other and we talk about

the lamest shit. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm really trying to get her onto reality TV because she's an actress, you know, she bougie. Right.

She's into the craft. I'm like, but there is an art to reality TV. There is. And I think you could really benefit from watching it. It takes you out of the shit. It does. Yeah.

Because then you can just like put your shit aside and watch someone else go through it. And you're like, oh, wasn't that bad? Yeah. Right? Yeah. So we talk about things like that. And I probably see her.

We don't see each other as often as I would like. You know, she's in a relationship. She sometimes goes and sees her man in a different part of California. But we talk often. Love that. She's a bad bitch. Yeah. I dig her.

Yeah. I used to watch her on All My Children. Way back in the day, I was obsessed with All My Children. You know my best friend, Madison? Yeah. Kate, tell me this is not the smallest world ever. When I met he whose name we shall not mention, Madison goes,

I was up for the all my children part. It was me and Amber. No way. Yeah. Wow. It was the two of them that had to fly to New York to screen test together. I was like, whoa, this is crazy. That's crazy.

What a small world. And Amber got it. Yeah. I screen tested for One Life to Live out there in New York. They did them on the same lot. And I'm out there for One Life to Live. And I was just like, why can't it be all my children? Really?

I was never into soaps. And here we are on modern day soap operas. I know. We really are. I love it. Yeah. Except we don't have to memorize lines. It makes it so much on modern day soap operas. I know we really are. I love it. Yeah. Except we don't have to memorize lines. It makes it so much easier.

I love that part. I know, right? I'm like, wait a minute. I just get to be me and say whatever the fuck I want. I'm winning. Yeah, I know. Sign me up. So recently our showrunner, Jeremiah, he and I did a little interview together but swapped so the network i guess is

wanting to do some more fun like behind the scenes things with like production okay and so i got to interview him and one of the things he said was that he thinks our show could go another 10 years no yeah wait did he say why because well he like, I know you and Lala are working on something. He's like, I don't think you've announced that yet. I'm like, no, very early stages, early stages. But he's like with this, the Toms, the sandwich shop, the everything he's like there, he's like, it would be so interesting to see you all as bosses, you know, not just the employees anymore. And when we have Lisa intertwined in these businesses, like, fuck, yeah, let's manifest that shit. I manifest that all the time. Yeah.

Like I'm already waiting for the phone call. Like season 10 hasn't aired, but we think you need season. Right. No, that was what I said in all of my interviews at Bravo Con, because it's like you can't spill that much tea. But I'm'm like all I can say is season 10 I think sets up a really good season 11. I have chills right now. Mm-hmm. Season fucking 10, Sheena.

Dude. It's so good. I know. How did we do that? I know. We're all a bunch of fucked up motherfuckers. I know.

But we just always do it. How? Every year we're like how do we top that and then we do it. I know. I i know i don't know how but someone needs to get someone pregnant oh i'm not saying names just someone with someone else yeah i can't think of who but when are you ready for another? I'm thinking around the summertime. I'll start. Wow. Like trying to

get pregnant. Try to get pregnant or do like IVF with sperm donor. I would. I don't think isn't IVF where they create the embryo. So you have to freeze your eggs and they would have the sperm donor and then you fertilize the eggs, genetically test them, eggs and then they would have the sperm donor and then you fertilize the eggs genetically test them all of that and then they would implant them so because i'm pretty good to go i could just do the insemination process like the iui or something i think it's an iui where they take the sperm and just insert it into you oh but can i tell you i really have I've said a few times, you know, I don't know what will happen and a partner could come into my life. Because there's such a high chance of it not working out, especially where we live. I'm not taking the chance.

Yeah. Like I am so scarred from all of this shit that has happened in my life. I'm doing a sperm donor, period. There's, I will not even attempt to try and do it a different way. I don't want another person involved. Yeah. Okay.

So sperm donor. Sperm donor. Hell yeah. That's what I'm doing, period. There's end of discussion. It's just a matter of when I choose to do that. Yeah. Have you looked into what that process entails at all or talk to like

Gigi or anyone else who you know who has gone through that? I did a podcast with Gigi a really long time ago, and she told me her experience and how it was fantastic. And it's the best decision that she ever made. And then I actually did meet with a fertility specialist who they have like the the website and the sperm donors that you look at and I asked you know how quickly can we do this and she said you literally pick pay it arrives the next day and you could come in and get it done wow like it's very very fast that's awesome okay so very different than looking for a surrogate, obviously. Very different. This is a quick process because that's what I'm thinking we might do.

And I know it could be a long process, but I'm not even ready to start looking into that yet. Okay, so you're not ready. No. And that's where I feel like you and I are similar in so many ways. And then we're different in so many ways when it comes to parenting. And I want to get into that a little bit. I feel like I have way more fears around being a mom. The newborn stage, I did not enjoy whatsoever. Yeah. I mean, I enjoyed her, but just I couldn't wait until she could hold her head up on her own. And it was the anxiety of it.

All the things that could happen. Yeah. And I recently have learned through therapy that I most likely, I still need to see a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis, but that I have had OCD all my life. However, postpartum OCD is not something a lot of people talk about. And my therapist,

based on everything I told her, she's like, I technically can't diagnose you because I'm a family therapist, but let me refer you to someone. She goes, because it really sounds like you're suffering postpartum OCD. I've never even heard of that. Same. So you should absolutely go to a specialist and shed some light on that because you are definitely not the only person that's experiencing that. And I also didn't suffer a miscarriage, Sheena. Yeah.

Like, I'm sure you have a lot of PTSD with that. Absolutely. And a traumatizing labor. And not to mention your traumatizing labor. Like, it's been such a struggle for you to bring a child into the world. That would do a number on me, too. It would do a number on anybody. Yeah. So I know I'm not there yet, but with you, I love that you are getting ready and you're there in that stage because I can't wait until I get there because I do know I want to give her a

sibling. Yeah. And also, I just want to say that one of the things I love about when we've done, you know, San Diego for a weekend together is just seeing I feel like I'll get emotional seeing you as a mom. You're so incredible. Like you inspire me. I feel like being around someone like you, you make me a better mom. You show me that like you don't have to be afraid of everything. If she chokes you, give her the Heimlich, figure it out, you know, as you've done. And I'm like, okay, if Lala can do it, I can do it. But I feel like you make me a more confident person

and a more confident mom and friend. And so thank you for that. I love you so much. I love you too. Thank you for saying that. Yeah. Well, I just, I think the world of you and the moments that we've had where we're

very vulnerable with each other. You're you're an amazing mom on top of you're just a good human being. Your daughter is so lucky to have you. And I can't imagine the things that you went through to get summer moon here. Yeah. And I just want you to be a little bit easier on yourself. I know. I want to do that, too. That's why I'm in therapy. I'm really happy that you are, because when we talk, I'm like, I want to shake you. Yeah. Like you are killing it. Give yourself some credit. Yeah. I need to do that more. I am really hard on myself. I know. And I try to boost you up as much as you'll allow me to. You really do. Because some of the things that I feel I'm afraid of, like, don't even cross your mind.

And I'm like, oh, that must be so nice. But maybe I can let go of that fear a little more. go of that fear a little more. So my question to you is, do you have certain fears around being, you know, a mother or are you just, you know, confident all the time? Yeah, I have a lot of fears. I mean, but they're not like yours. Like how you go when we started giving the baby solid foods and you were like, I can't. I was like, she's gonna have mush until she has all of her teeth. Right. Like I didn't think about those things as heavily as you did. I was more like she's eating solid food. She could choke. I'm going to make sure that I'm like right here at all times. Yeah. But I think my biggest fears are future based. Yeah. Just with everything that has gone on. What I'm going to say

to Ocean when she has questions. Like if I've shared anything that she may look at me and be like, why did you share that? You know? Like what kind of things?

Like of her you mean? No. Just like of the situation. I understand what you're saying. Yeah. I feel like I never want my child to end up with someone like who I was with yeah so and then I also feel like I have a duty to other women who think like I'm in this by myself to know like you are strong yeah so it's this constant battle and I pray lot. And I just hope that when she

gets older, like she looks at me and feels inspired and isn't embarrassed. It would be impossible to feel embarrassed. Literally, like you inspire so many people, so many women by you being so open and speaking out about narcissists and just the type of relationship that you were in has helped, you know, so many women, more women than you'll probably ever be able to know. But I guarantee when you open up your DMs, it's a bunch of women saying how much you speaking out has helped them, helped them leave situations,

helped them realize their worth. So just know, and this is one thing I struggle with, is I can't trust my decisions, but mine are like, I feel like life and death. But with you, just trust the decisions you've made. You do everything I know with Ocean at the forefront of your mind. You do what you think is best for your daughter, and that is what's best for your daughter. what you think is best for your daughter. And that is what's best for your daughter. I, I,

I do feel that I feel like in my heart and soul that that child is my everything. I know. And you know, cause you're a, you're a mom. Like I, there will be bodies on the ground before you fuck with my kid. And her wellbeing and her future,

you know, life is going to fuck her up enough. Yeah. And her well-being and her future. Mm-hmm. You know, life is going to fuck her up enough. Yeah. The outside world. Here at home, I've got to create a safe space. Mm-hmm. So the outside world's got to just, like, stay at bay while I do my thing.

And that's where I hope, because we are in the public eye, where I hope that... And it's inevitable. This will happen. where the lines get blurred and the two bleed into each other. I just hope that when she comes to me with certain things, I can eloquently explain to her what happened. Like she is so intelligent already that she's going to get it. She's going to understand that everything you have done has been for her.

I just couldn't see that going another way. Well, can you back me up when that happens? And she wants to maybe not like me. Yeah, for sure. Ocean, your mother has fought so hard for you. No, literally. I can picture it now. Yeah, no, you have.

And I see it just every day with you. You are an incredible mother. And people aren't always going to agree with the decisions you make, with how public you've been, you know, because that is unfortunately her other half of genes. But by you doing this, you may be saving her from getting into a future relationship like that. That is my biggest hope in the world.

Yeah. I want her around men who represent what they should. Yeah, definitely. So there's that. Sorry. My God. I've got to get. I need like plugs for my tear ducts.

I know. I know. Stop. I feel like the lashes are lifting. It's okay. I know the lashes are lifting. It's okay. One thing I don't think it's been God, probably over three years since you've been on the podcast.

The last time I was on, I think we were filming at some apartment building. It was you, me and Ariana. Wait, what? Do you remember that? No, I remember going over to your old house and doing one me and you. You're right. Okay. Yes.

I think that was the last time. That was the last time. Yeah. And I know one thing that I don't think we talked too much about, but now that you are a mom and just, you know, a few more seasons of the show, I wanted to talk to you about is your AA and how strong you've been in that and how hard it must be to apply the things you learn in AA while being on a reality show. It's not easy. Yeah. I have to separate the two because I'm the I'm very hard on myself and no one's going to beat me up harder than I'll beat myself up. And obviously my program is not in alignment with what I do for a living. So I have

to separate the two. I have to compartmentalize. I have to go and do my thing and and be myself, be myself, but also go home and pray a lot. Just like for forgiveness in the way that I've acted because it weighs heavy on me. I don't, I'm great at confrontation, but I certainly don't enjoy it. I certainly don't enjoy like ripping someone a new one. All right. Great at it.

A little bit? No, I really, can I tell you, it definitely feels like a purge, but it's not like I leave and go, I feel so great. I feel so great about myself and what I said. Yeah, I can give myself some kudos like, bitch, that was quick. Like, you got a slick mouth on you, but it doesn't I don't leave feeling good. Yeah, I want resolution like immediately after I purge on someone. I'm like, God, I just want to say I'm sorry. I mean, I get that feeling. Yes.

It's very hard. But I feel like I've conquered the art of compartmentalizing and separating the two. And I have to because if I don't, then my sobriety is in jeopardy. And I have yet to experience that. I've been very lucky where I've stayed on the pink cloud, which is what people experience when they first get sober. I'm still experiencing it after four years. It's not hard at this point for me to maintain my sobriety.

I know dark days are looming. I'm going to have moments where it might get difficult because it's my every day for the rest of my life. I will never be cured from this and I have to work at it every single day of my life. But for me, it's worth it. Yeah. Because I'm so happy. Yeah.

I'm like, how could I be this happy? But I'm in like the biggest shit storm of my life. Because you're happy with where you are and you know that that was a situation you needed to get out of. And now you're in the best place you could be. Yes. And I'm always like my daughter, God willing, I always, you know, put my sobriety before everybody and everything. My daughter is always going to have a mama in the right frame of mind. I mean, it gets to clapping sometimes, I mean, it gets to clapping sometimes, but I'm not intoxicated. Very true.

How has that been? I know right now you're in like a no dating, but for the past year, past six months, how has that been with dating for you? Someone had asked, you know, if you go out for they want to go out for drinks, how do you navigate those conversations? Do you say right off the bat, I don't drink. Do you let them see like, oh, we want to do this for dinner or whatever? How has that been dating? I don't even think about it.

I love that. Like if someone says, do you want to go out for drinks? I'm like, yeah, a drink is a Diet Coke. Yeah. When someone says, do you want to go out for drinks? It means any sort of liquid that you consume. They're not saying want to go out for drinks? It means any sort of liquid that you consume. They're not saying want to go out for alcohol. It's a very good point.

If someone said, do you want to go out for alcoholic beverages? I would say that I can't do. Yeah. But they're just asking me to have a fucking drink. I'm having a drink right now. Yeah. Perrier. I love that.

Oh, it doesn't even cross my mind. Yeah. I say sure. And then I order my sparkling water at the bar. Or if I want to get crazy, I order Diet Coke. Yeah. Wow. I know. With a straw, maybe a lime on the rocks. On the rocks. Yes. Crazy. Wow. You're wild. I'm so wild. What advice would you have to someone who is newly sober and dating and kind of struggling with that? Someone who doesn't have it as easy as you do now. If you're newly sober and you're feeling triggered by dating, then don't date right now.

You've got to get 100 in your sobriety. Don't they say that like you should be single for like a year or something? I remember seeing Carl talk about that on Summer House that he wasn't at that like year point yet. Right. To date seriously. They recommend that when you get sober and enter AA, you should be sober in the program for a year before you venture into dating. Yeah. And but and everyone's different. Like sobriety is not one size fits all. But if you're if you're feeling triggered by people or surroundings in your sobriety, sobriety has to always come first. Don't go to those places. Don't date. Don't be around those people. Yeah. Willpower. That's my that's my feeling on it. No, I think that's great advice. Without sobriety. Yeah. Fuck your whole

life up if you're an alcoholic. Yeah. Obviously for you normies, you know, get lit, bitch. A lot of questions came in for you. I started screenshotting and I was like, where do we even start? You know I'm an open book. I know, I know you are. Which is not a great thing, but entertaining as fuck. Anna Heilman, what is the one thing you each think keeps your bond

after all of the ups and downs? Ooh. I think it started with our kids. Mm-hmm. Because last year, I think our kids were like the biggest thing.

Yeah. Like, I enjoy you and I want our kids to be friends. Yeah. Now, I think it's that. Well, now our and I want our kids to be friends. Yeah. Now I think it's that. Well, now our moms are friends, too, which makes the stakes even higher. I know to stay friends. I know. And I want to. And just the way you've shown up for me. There's a lot of people

in my life who I consider close friends. But when I look at it, I'm like, they never check in on me, never ask me how I'm doing. Like, I know everything about them and what they're going through, but they don't know anything about me, which is fine. I don't really need that much attention. I know people may roll their eyes and be like, bitch, you're on a reality TV show. You need attention.

But like, I really feel like you take the time to listen to me, lift me up. You ask me how I'm doing. That's huge for me. Yeah. Well, I feel like you and I also have gotten to a place where we understand what each other needs in a friendship. And you've been better. You know, I need a response when I text you. But I understand now when you don't respond right away, you're not mad at me. I have like an anxious attachment style where my brain goes a million places. If you don't respond, I'm like, fuck, wait, did I say something? Is she upset? Was it a podcast? And I'm like, my brain would go a million places where now I'm like, no, she's a

mom and she's busy and it's okay if she doesn't respond right away. So I feel like if I'm mad at you, I'm going to tell you. Yeah, no, I know. And I feel like us having so many open conversations over the past year and understanding what each other needs has kept us where we're at now. It's like we're dating. Yeah, I know. Right. It sounds like we just got into a new relationship and how we're navigating these waters.

right? It sounds like we just got into a new relationship and how we're navigating these waters. That's so true. But like I could tell you there was a period of time where if I saw your name pop up on my phone or certain other people in this friend group, immediate like, oh my God, what did I do? Like now when I see you calling me, I'm like, oh, what's Lala want? It's just like a different feeling. Okay, I like that. I love that I have the excitement feeling again because before I'd see that and I'm like, shit, what did I do? What did I say? Oh, I never want to give anyone anxiety when they see my name. Well, it was never like your fault.

It wasn't just you. It could have been Katie. It could have been Stassi. It could have been anyone. Katie it could have been anybody it could have been anyone but there was just like a period of time where I think I was really struggling with my confidence I was single I was just not happy with where I was in my life and I felt like I was kind of paranoid and like I said this anxious attachment style that I have I go and I think this is probably also part of my OCD, but my brain just goes to these obsessive, intrusive, crazy thoughts where you were just fucking busy. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

like, you know, I'm I'm a caller. Yeah. Don't I call you all the time? You text me and then I pick up the phone and call you. I know. When did that happen? I'm like a grandma. I'm like, I call and no Google calendar. Please have a calendar paper on the desk. Color coordinated sticky notes. I love that. Like an old person. Yeah. But whatever helps keep you organized. Do you know? Yes. That's all I want. Yeah. And I like quick. Yeah. I don't got time to sit here and have a conversation over text. Like, let's just talk. Right. Get it out. Call it a day. Yeah. No, that's so true. It was funny.

A couple weeks ago, you called me and I missed it. And then I text you and you're like, I want to talk about Disneyland. I'm like, bitch, that's in like five weeks. No. Gotta put it on the calendar. We need to talk about this today. It's like, okay, I'll call you back. But this is a social event that needs to go on a pink sticky note immediately. So I'm going to need to talk about it now.

Leigh Tamaldonadu. What is the biggest eye opener since becoming a mother? I would say the biggest eye opener is me. The amount of love like it takes you out. It's a love that's almost terrifying that's an eye opener absolutely terrifying it's that's why i'm terrified to have a second child because i'm like how the fuck could i do this again i have to tell myself i mean not every day because i'm not ready yet to have a second baby but But I have to remind myself that

I need to not be selfish and let my fears affect Summer's future. And I don't want her to be alone when we die. You know, yes, she has two older siblings from another family in another country, like so far away. It's not that's not who she's going to lean on when I die. I want her to have a sibling. And I have to I've been telling myself that more and more like, no, she's going to lean on when I die. I want her to have a sibling. And I have to I've been telling myself that more and more like, no, you're going to do this again because you're doing it for her. You are. And also, you need to give yourself credit in the fact that like you did it. Summer is alive and well, and she's so cute. And her personality is amazing. She's pooping on the toilet. It's like you're doing it.

Yeah. You know the drill now, Sheesh. You bring another kid into the world. You've done this before. I know. Yeah. But work through that stuff first. And also, you got to work through it

so Summer doesn't suffer from it. You don't want to have her be like, oh my God, my mom was like, now I'm making you nervous about this too. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm here what you just that's why i am working on this and i talked to my therapist about this last week is breaking the

generational cycle because my mom recently just apologized me for this because she's ocd as well she's anxious and you know her mom was anxious and so there are those things that can be passed down genetically but then also triggered environmentally and then throw postpartum on it. I did not know postpartum OCD was a thing. I didn't either. And after the past week speaking to a girlfriend of mine who suffers the same thing and sees a psychiatrist regularly, I didn't know that that's what's been wrong for the last year and a half and I'm like Oh my god, it just felt so freeing

Finally opening up about it and talking to my therapist about it. And now i'm like now I know That I still need to see the psychiatrist and you know do the work But i'm going to because I don't want to pass this to summer and I felt so bad because recently my mom was like I'm, so sorry if i'm the person who gave this to Summer. And I felt so bad because recently my mom was like, I'm so sorry if I'm the person who gave this to you. And I'm like, I mean,

I don't want to say it's your fault. It is your fault a little bit, but it's not your fault. But like, it's okay. I just don't want to continue the cycle. So I need to do the work to break that,

to be the best version for her. So she's not an anxious, OCD, worrying girl. I think you just like even acknowledging that is huge and you should be so proud. And thanks. Even though your mom may have passed things to you, like just like welcome to a mother daughter relationship. Yeah. But your bond with your mama is so cute. It reminds me of mine with my mom. I know we're so similar. Yes, we. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like you're the only person where if I tell you I'm with my mom. I know. We're so similar. Yes. Like, we, oh my God, yeah. Like, you're the only person where if I tell you I'm with my mom every day, doesn't think I'm like an insane person.

Right. No, we just get it. And I feel like that helps too, though, like for Brock, when he sees, oh, okay, it's not just Sheena and her mom. Totally. He sees how close you and your mom are. And I think that helps with him sometimes. I mean, you know, him and my mom butt heads. Right. But he knows she is the best person to take care of our daughter. And then he sees you with your mom. But, you know, it's just. Yeah. It's a relationship that you can't understand unless you're in it. Yes. And he, I know for a fact, hopes that you and Summer have the same relationship that you and your mom have. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I want her to be strong and independent as I was, but I also want her to be my best friend and like

always need me. Yeah. I'm going to need you to be around every day. Yeah, totally. I get it. Yeah. I think we touched on this a little bit. Lisa underscore Felton Tine. How are your parenting styles similar and how are they different? How do you think? I was just going to say, you tell me. I think I, which I know you talked about this on one of your podcasts recently, that I tend to baby summer a little more. And I think that I probably get that from my mom too because I feel like my mom was so attentive and still is with Summer. It's like, she needs something.

I'm like, what do you need right now? Okay, let me, and Brock's like, chill. Like she can figure it out on her own. Or when she falls, you rush over there as quick as I can. Like the only reason why Summer, when we were in San Diego, the only reason why she would cry after she fell is because she saw your reaction. Yeah. And I thank God I got the Botox back. So hopefully she can't see the reactions as much anymore.

But I'm trying to be better at that. But I also just want her to always feel like I'm there. Totally. But just because, you know, you may let Ocean cry a little longer in the crib than I do doesn't mean you're not there. It's just teaching them different ways of independence and self-soothing. Totally. And you have also helped me be better in that sense where it's like, I don't have to rock summer to sleep and put her down to sleep in the crib anymore. I, by the way, when I saw you doing that, I was like, that is because that's not going to last forever. That moment is so fleeting. So I wouldn't be hard on yourself with that. In fact, I've started with Ocean because she does.

I did do the sleep training. Yeah. I can just put her in the bed with her bubba and then she waves at me by now before I put her down I turn off all the lights and we sit in her rocking chair and I sing a song to her and we say our prayers and I taught her how to say amen so she says amen at the end of the day it's oh my gosh so I have taken that from you is like this moment you know she's not gonna be fine letting me rock her to sleep so I've taken that from you is like this moment. You know, she's not going to be five when you rock her to sleep. So I've taken advantage of that.

And then I put her in the crib. See, and I love this, too, how like we can rub off on each other and see what works for you and what works for me. And so now, like, I will still I have my cuddle moments with her. I'll give her her bottle. She likes to play eyes, ears, nose, mouth. She points to every part of my body. Yeah.

Then she says, Mama, Dada, Opa, Nana. And then she says, Toto instead of Coco for my sister. That's really cute. But then I have to remind her, I go, and Grandma, and Nikki, and Alina. Because she doesn't get to see Brock's family, but I don't want her to forget them. She sees them on FaceTime, but it's not like she's with my parents. Every day. And my sister and us all the time. Totally. She says, like, but it's not like she's with my parents and my sister and us all the time. But totally, she says like everyone that's like her little bit. I'm like,

this is just her little bedtime ritual. Then I'm like, OK, now it's time to go in the crib. So it's like we get that time together, but I can put her in the crib awake and she puts herself to sleep. And I wasn't doing that until you and Ocean stayed over. And I'm like, well, you just put her in there and like she just goes to sleep. Like I wait until she's dead asleep, like 22 breaths per minute. And then I'm like, let me carefully lay her in the crib. Yeah, you had like the heart rate thing. Oh, I still do.

All the things. Brock's like, how long are you going to keep the breathe wear on her? I was like, I don't know, 18? 18? As long as you're in my house, you wear that breathe wear. She's like 18 at college putting it on, being like, I gotta go put my breathe wear outfit on, guys.

No, but like how long, Brock just asked me this recently, he's like, how long does she sleep in the crib? And I'm like, honestly, until she outgrows it lengthwise or crawls out of it. Right? When do you take them out of the crib? I... But those are the things where i feel like

every baby is different like i'm no one's gonna tell me like oh at two is when you do this right three is when you do this i'm gonna watch my child yeah and when i think she's ready to do certain things then we'll start doing that like i kind of block everyone else out yeah i think for you too i just gotta give props to this little one and a half year old you have. Ocean is such a well-adjusted child. Yeah. When she doesn't have the same stability as other kids who go to bed in the same crib every single night. Like that girl just rolls with the punches.

She adjusts and like she is a rock star thanks to no one other than yourself. Thank you for saying that. Literally. She is well adjusted, you know, because from the time she was seven months, she was having to be bounced back and forth. Bottles were different. Crib was everything was different. She was going to different people. And so even though it's gut wrenching, like when I'm not with her, I'm leaving my heart behind.

She definitely is a little freaking soldier. She really is, you know, like cold milk, warm milk. It's all the same. I remember that. But also another thing I took from you, you're like, no, I don't have a white warmer and she drinks cold milk. I'm like, maybe I should start giving summer cold breast milk because when I switch her to regular milk, I'm not going to be heating it. Started giving her cold milk. Now she likes her water cold. She wants everything cold. But just yeah. So I feel like I've learned so much from you. Those six weeks you had on me, I was like it helped so much just going through stages first, you know, and then we have Stassi, who's a couple months ahead of us. And so when

we're all able to lean on each other and just figure this out together, because that even though they are so close at this, maybe not at this time, but at the very beginning. Oh, yeah. A week. Yeah. Was like 100 years. Totally. Yeah. I mean, even when we went to this is off topic, but back to like your OCD, I guess.

Yeah. We went to your friend's house, Will and Elaine's house. And I'm watching you pour milk out of these. You put them in packets. Well, because she only drinks the same milk. But it was like the perfect amount of ounces. And I was like, what are you doing? And you were like, she only has this many ounces.

I was like, what? Yeah. Don't you do this? I said, no, I just pour a Bubba and I just eye it. And I'm like, maybe she'll want a little more tonight at home. When I pour it out of the carton and straight into the bottle, I'm not like, wait, it's six and a half, seven ounces. But when we're going to be gone for a few days, because I don't know if since she went from only breast milk for a year to now the horizon, organic valley, whatever growing years. Yeah. What if I give her a different milk and it Horizon Organic Valley, whatever, growing years.

Yeah. What if I give her a different milk and it upsets her stomach, then it turns her off from milk? Like, I don't know. I just, that's my craziness. I love you so much. Like, how exhausting to be in your mind. I know. I know.

It really is. But it's starting to open up more. Good. I love that. But when we're going to be gone for a few days, I do the breast milk bags and I measure out how much she'll need for her nap and her bedtime. So I want to make sure she has what she needs. I love you so much.

I'm like, if we don't have enough, there are times where I like need to go get diapers and I'm like, we'll just like get them when we're there. Like, yeah, here's five. That'll last us until tonight. And then the rest of the trip, we'll just go buy some. Yeah. I'm getting better with stuff like this like in mexico prime example i don't even know if you knew what happened but when i brought a bunch of her milk with us mexico's different and yeah i didn't want to give her anything to drink in mexico and when we got to the hotel, several of the bags had like busted open. And now my ice

chest is like, and I was like, oh my God, oh my God. I'm like calling Brittany. I'm like, if you haven't left for the airport yet, can you bring some? And she's like, I'm just going to give him whatever's at the hotel. And I'm like, okay, okay. You're going to, it's going to be fine. Sheena, you know what? She'll have a little less each day. And if you need a little more. That was more, if i had ocean i'd be more concerned because we were in the middle of nowhere yeah it's like if we needed anything i know where would we go get it yeah like we were isolated i know which i kind of loved but then yeah you love that but if you have a baby there it's like you better pack everything so that you

have it yeah no you killed it on the trip with Summer Moon. Thank you. You're welcome. It was such, oh, so fun. I can't wait for you guys all to see it. But I did want to ask one more question about co-parenting. What have been the most challenging things with that? Someone had asked if you have to, I know you've probably talked about this, but like you communicate through an app and any tips you have for other

moms out there who are in similar situations. So my situation would be different if I was dealing with someone who was a good person and I just like got cheated on. Like I could definitely co-parent. We could spend holidays together like no big because we'll put it kindly, that person and I are not in alignment morally. Yeah. I feel like it's best for myself and just what I need to do in business to not be associated with him. I keep it strictly to the app. It's called parallel parenting.

So you don't really communicate about much. You don't see each other. So you don't really communicate about much. You don't see each other. You just keep them at a very safe distance and you do whatever is necessary for the kid. I haven't seen him since I left. So I would say if you're in like it's a toxic, it's a toxic relationship that ended and you share kids, I definitely recommend going through an app. That way everything's documented properly. You don't have to go through the process if you're in the court system of

things being authenticated. And I just feel like it's the best route to take. Yeah. And I don't think that, you know, so many people are like for your child, for your child. It's like, but I also need to teach my child when she gets older to have boundaries and have a voice and not be afraid and not be in toxic situations. Not, your dude may have done something to you that ended the relationship,

but you need to shut the fuck up. Yeah. About it. That's where my head's at. Yeah. Because I know if Ocean were in my situation and she handled it the way I have,

I'd be fucking proud of her. Hell yeah. Yeah. Was that even along the lines of the question? Yeah, totally. Okay. Another thing I'm proud of you for is how much you advocate for animals. And I have to tell you, our place in San Diego that obviously you've been, we're sadly moving out of this month is across the bay from fucking SeaWorld. Yeah. And every night I enjoy watching the fireworks show. But it's like, fuck you. I know what you're really doing there.

Yeah. Well, you remember me. I was like, we are not looking at those fireworks. Yeah. We will not engage with what they're doing over there. I know. I even asked your dad. I was like, which ones are SeaWorld and which ones are for the 4th of July?

And he was like, 4th of July will be in this direction and SeaWorld's in this direction. And I like positioned my chair differently. I know. I was like, you won't even get my line of vision. Yeah. Yeah. But that's another one of the many things

that you have inspired me with is looking into, you know, the zoo I want to take summer to. Is it one where they do rehabilitation? Is it, you know, one where they treat the animals well? Is it a place where they are all in captivity? And I feel like a lot of people don't talk about that enough either. Yeah. I mean, I there was a time that I saw Ocean's nanny slash that person's supervisor sent me pictures of Ocean at the L.A. Zoo. And I sobbed. Yeah. Because I just want to teach her to be compassionate and smart.

Like I named her Ocean for many reasons. I know. And I just, that name holds so much meaning. So I always want to encourage people to do their research. If if a place is saying that it's a rehabilitation, but they're using the animals to entertain you, then them saying it's rehabilitation is false advertising. You don't go there. And that was something growing up as a kid. I didn't know, you know, blackfish documentaries and things like that weren't out. I did go to SeaWorld as a kid I didn't know you know Blackfish documentaries and things like that

weren't out I did go to SeaWorld as a child I mean had if we didn't have all the knowledge we have now you know that's a place that so many more kids would grow up going to right and I remember my brother took my nephew I begged them after I saw Blackfish please don't take him to SeaWorld they still did I didn't speak to them for a very long time but he said how else would he see these things and i go there's there's people that can't afford to go to sea worlds and we'll never see that so you just yeah then you watch them on youtube right like there's many people in this world who will never see that and guess what we're not really supposed to that's why they live in the fucking ocean and we live on land there's gonna be shit i'm probably never gonna see aliens right like shit happens i

mean i hope so but i can hope all day long but it's probably not gonna happen probably not gonna happen and you have to be okay with that you just google that shit yeah all right totally take advantage of technology michelle kadame wants to know will you guys release a song together rap or singing and someone else asked if we have any collabs coming up can we please release a song can we do it because like a boss was so good so good Why are we so good at rapping? It was so fun. And that's the thing, because you can sing and rap. You're so nice.

I can do like the whispery singing. No, you've got it down. You're like, you're an entertainer. I'm tone deaf. You said it. I did? Yeah. When?

On the show. How long ago? I don't know. Season five, six? Six, I think. I don't remember saying that, but I'm sure it sounds like something I would say. I guess I am a little bit. Are you?

I mean, I think I just, I now know my strengths and my weaknesses. And when it comes to singing, that's not something I'm strong in. I'm strong at putting on a great fucking show i can go on stage in front of 2 000 people at bravo con do the splits and entertain the fuck out of them so good but that's why i did the rap part of my song but it was fantastic i didn't want to have to like sing live but we all have to lean into our strengths yeah i mean i britney spears fans are going to come for me but it's not like brit Britney Spears is fucking Adele and look at her. She's a superstar.

Yeah. As she should be because she leaned into her strength. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. So I do think that would be something fun that we should do. I was thinking about that. I do too.

I was thinking about it on the way to Palm Springs on Friday. I was like, we should really do that. Yeah. Okay, let's do it. Let's do it. I need to like, the studio just brings me so much joy and peace. I know. I actually I texted Sean too yesterday because I have not talked to him in forever. Me neither. And I was just like, wait, there was a song that we did that we never

released. And I thought about it and I went in my email and I had it and I sent it to him and I was like, do you remember this? Wait, can you send it to me? Yeah, I was like, should we still put this out? Wait, send it to me. Yeah, I will. He's like, I need to find the original version. But I'm like, oh my God, the things that I wrote about and sang about when I was single. It's like, get naked.

We're sexy. Take off your clothes. And then it's like a dance song. And I'm like, do I release this now as a wife and mother? Yes. Yes. 100% you do. Yeah. So it probably needs some tweaks because we never fully finished it. But it just made me think like we should do something together.

I think we should do a live podcast show together. Done. I think that would be so fun. Okay. Done. Because I'll never do it again by myself. I'm down. Okay. Let's do all the things. Let's do all of the things for anyone living under a rock who doesn't know the many places to find you and your businesses. Let's just give them a shout out while we wrap up. I love you giving me the plug for skin and beauty. You can go to give them lala.com and then for your baby goods, you can go to give them lala baby.com. Love it. Thank you so much for being here. I was excited and also nervous to have you on.ababy.com. Love it. Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me, Sheesh. I was excited and also nervous to have you on.

I was nervous too. Why? I think because I feel so comfortable with you that I may overshare. Oh. See, maybe that is my problem with this podcast, but it's also the best. You're killing it. So many people slide in my DMs and tell me to make my podcast more like Sheena's. Oh my God.

Yeah, you're killing it keep doing your thing boo thank you and season 10 the podcast is a big storyline oh god you're really gonna ask me

to have your back after that right yeah yeah because we both can't shut the fuck up I know

it's an art we haven't conquered well thank you so much for being here of course alright thank you guys for listening being here. Of course. All right. Thank you guys for listening. You are good as gold. Bye. Thanks for listening to Shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Download new episodes every week on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. We'll see you next time. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.