Scheananigans with Scheana Shay - The Reality of Reality TV with Heidi D’Amelio

Episode Date: August 5, 2022

In this episode, Scheana is joined by Heidi D'Amelio and her mom Erika to co-host the show! Heidi, mother of famous TikTokers Charli and Dixie D'Amelio, opens up about the realities of overni...ght fame. They discuss parenting, mental health and bond over their reality TV show, The D'Amelio Show. In this emotional episode, they discuss tools that have helped with anxiety, wanting to defend your family against internet trolls and what we can expect for Season 2! Follow us: @scheananigans @scheana   Go to www.greenchef.com/shay135 for $135 off across five boxes   Go to www.justthrivehealth.com and use code SHAY for 15% off your first order   Go to www.woomoreplay.com and use code SCHEANA for 20% off       Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. From Vanderpump Rules to Motherhood and everywhere in between, it's time to catch up with Sheena Shea. This is Shenanigans. And now, here's your host, Sheena Shay. Hello, hello. Back in studio, and I have a very special co-host today. We've got my mom. Hi, everybody. It's been a while. I know. I can't even remember when the last time was you were on the podcast. Gosh, it's been a year or two for sure. When was the last time you listened to the podcast?
Starting point is 00:00:57 Last week. Really? Yeah. You did? And my beautiful guest sitting across, we have Heidi D'Amelio. How are you? I'm good. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for being here. We've had this planned for literally months now, and I'm so excited the day is finally here.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Yes. So we were just talking right before we got started that both of your daughters, you have a Taurus and a Leo daughter, same as my mom. Yes. That's so crazy. I love that. Yeah. Leo daughter. Same as my mom. Yes. That's so crazy. I love that. Yeah. So opposite personalities.
Starting point is 00:01:31 But, you know, it's like raised the same as you were just saying. But it's so crazy how you could just be so different. But they but somehow they make it work like, yeah, they're so different, but it just works the same. They're best friends now. They're they're 12 and a half years apart. Your girls obviously are a lot closer. But all of a sudden, it's like now it seems like they're the same age and they're like best friends. And they get along great. Courtney and I butt heads, you know. But at the same time, you know, I couldn't imagine life without her. So it's awesome. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Dixie and Charlie just moved in together. Oh, they did. Maybe like five months ago. And they are now like, they were close when they were in high school. And then Dixie had her own apartment for a while. And now they live together. And now like, they're so close now. Like best friends. That's awesome. I love that. Watching the show, it does make me want to give Summer a sibling. Like, I go back and forth every day where I'm like, no, she's just going to be the most spoiled only child ever.
Starting point is 00:02:25 And then I watch it and I see their relationship and I think about mine with my sister. I'm like, no, she needs a sister or a brother. I'm not ready yet. No, no. Me either. A little more time. Yeah. So, okay.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Before we get into the show and everything about your girls, I just want to talk about you and how you started. So from New York, you started as a model, a fitness trainer. What made you want to get into that type of job? So I'm from Louisiana. And when I graduated high school, there was like a local modeling agency that I started working with. And I just loved it. I just thought it was so much fun the clothes the hair the makeup the photo shoots I just loved all of that I was and at that time in the 90s like if you weren't 5'8 or above like you're not right like it's rare to right get big in that industry so I did a lot
Starting point is 00:03:22 in Louisiana believe it or not in my hometown in Lafayette and in New Orleans. And and then I had a couple of friends in my agency that wanted to come and check out New York. So we went and I was 25 and I was like, I know if I don't do this, I'm never probably never going to leave my hometown because she was 18, my friend, and her mom was like going to co-sign for the apartment and do all the things I'm like I can't even imagine how you do that like so we ended up moving and I was I mean I was not major by any means in the modeling world but I had so much fun I worked with a few different small agencies and it was so much fun but I had to actually pay the bills so I was a
Starting point is 00:04:04 personal trainer okay and the way that started was I when I to actually pay the bills so I was a personal trainer okay and the way that started was I when I first moved to New York City I was like oh I'm gonna join a gym and I didn't realize how expensive that was oh yeah and they want the money up front I was like oh and so my friend worked at a gym she was like if you work at a gym you get a free membership so then that's how it works and then I became a personal trainer after that. Love that. That's awesome. And that's where I met Mark at the gym.
Starting point is 00:04:29 So it's so funny how the roads led to that. Wow. Okay. Yeah. I was just going to ask, how did you meet your husband? Yeah. And then y'all moved to Connecticut? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:39 So he was, he grew up from fourth grade on in Connecticut. And then he had moved to New York City and we met there. And then it was like the rents on apartments were crazy. And our lease was up and we had just gotten married. So that was 2000. And I was like, and we knew we wanted to start having kids right away. So I was like, I can't imagine raising kids in New York City. I feel like that is I need more
Starting point is 00:05:06 of what I grew up with he loved the city and he but it was just so expensive like we just couldn't do it so we moved to Connecticut to be more around his family and friends and everything so we we moved there and now the girls are like you guys should have raised this in New York City I'm like you probably wouldn't have had the love for it you have now if you lived there. You would have been a jaded New Yorker. Oh, that's good. So I got my mom into watching
Starting point is 00:05:33 your show. I hear, are you guys coming back for a second season? Yes. Yes, congratulations. Thank you. We're wrapped and we don't have a date yet. Okay. Day two. Yeah, I don don't know I'm usually in the dark on a lot of things I think a lot of people on the shows are yeah I'm not because of anything I just like sometimes I forget to ask yeah so what would you say are in your experience now
Starting point is 00:06:00 so you've filmed two seasons one has already. What would you say are some of the best and also like the hardest parts of being on a reality show? I think the best parts are watching the girls get to sort of share their life in their own words, not what people assume. And I think that was really important to them and to all of us with the show. And I think the worst parts, which end up not being the worst, is like watching your kids struggle. And those are always conversations, you know,
Starting point is 00:06:37 do you guys really want to do this on camera? We don't have to do this. Like we're always making sure they're okay with it. And they're like, yeah, I think it's important. You're all producers on the show as well. Correct. So that helps. Yes. So you have some control over editing and all of that. That's a, that's a big plus. Yeah, totally. But what I love about your show is, and what I think a lot of reality shows are starting to do now is you're breaking down the fourth wall. You're talking about the show on the show. Like I think in the very, the opening scene of the first season, you see like the
Starting point is 00:07:08 cameras and you talk about it. And that's so interesting for me as someone who's on a show where we can't do that because it's like, you guys are watching a television show. So to be able to see that behind the scenes stuff, I think just adds such a different element to the show and just makes it that much more real. And I love how open all of you have been. I know it is not easy, especially when you're talking about mental health and certain struggles that sometimes people, you know, there's a stigma around it and you're not supposed to talk about it. And I remember one of the episodes, Dixie said she feels like she always has to be perfect. And I am guilty of that so I thought it would be interesting to you know get two moms perspectives
Starting point is 00:07:50 who have daughters who are in the public eye but you also are in the public eye so how do you feel now mom that you deal with trolls compared to the beginning. Because, you know, Heidi is just in this a couple years now with the daughter in the public eye. Yeah. You've been in it for over a decade. Yeah. Well, in the beginning, it was so hard. You know, this is my daughter,
Starting point is 00:08:14 and I'm going to protect her at all costs. And I was that mom that read every single comment on Instagram. I still read a lot of comments. But I don't react as quickly. It took me a couple good seasons and her publicist to say, Erica, you know, you don't have to do this. Anybody who knows Sheena, that knows the real Sheena, that knows our family, they know their truths. And being on a reality show and also having no control over editing and whatnot, it's tough. It's like that was a 45-minute conversation.
Starting point is 00:08:43 They showed two minutes of it. That's not how it went. So it would get so frustrating. So especially the first couple seasons, I did feel the need. I had to go on there. I had a defender. I had a protector. And now we're in season 10 and it's nuts. I don't do it as often. Nobody ever better ever, ever come for my granddaughter. I'll tell you that, you know, then that's, that's definitely not a bear coming out. But the same with my daughter, Courtney, too, you know, she doesn't get as much negative, thankfully, but it's hard. And they're always going to be my girls. I'm always going to protect them. Honestly, the only time I really come out and clap back, I guess, if you want to say for something is when people talk about all Sheena's plastic surgery. And I'm going to say
Starting point is 00:09:24 it here again, if I said it many times before before she has never had any plastic surgery god's honest truth she does botox and fillers which she's talked about for 10 years post when i do that that's the only thing where i come back and i don't even know why i do it anymore i shouldn't because it just raises my blood pressure and frustrates me is that one thing that you've ever fed into oh of course especially early on and then i mean i just try not to look at this i've realized i know if you don't look at it in my own mind it's like super blissful and it doesn't exist i mean we want to be aware enough right like if there's something we need to talk about or something that we need to be called out on and we should put ourselves in check, then we need to do that. But I just try not to look at. I know much. But it's but it is hard. And I've heard it takes five years.
Starting point is 00:10:14 I feel like we're doing pretty good for a couple of years in. But the girls have gotten really good. I mean, your daughters are literally the definition, I feel like, of like overnight success. It was just like, boom, you know, pandemic, TikTok. And I mean, Charlie was the first name I ever heard with. I didn't even know what TikTok was. And we're in lockdown. My sister and her boyfriend were staying with me and my now fiance. And we were all in my house in Palm Springs.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And we're like, what is this TikTok? Like, let's get on the trends. And I'm like, OK, I'm like, well, I'm just going to watch Charlie's videos because she seems to be what everyone's talking about. But as her mother, a obviously you're so incredibly proud of both of your daughters. But what was that like to just see? I mean, I even remember every morning I would just refresh her page and just see it go up millions, millions, millions millions like how insane was that it was it was you know as wild as you could think i mean they were both of them were gaining like a million a day yeah a lot of days so it was almost like i mean there can't be too many more
Starting point is 00:11:18 people right in the world this is wild and just the growth of the app in general yeah and and people i i don't know it was it was there was a lot of like conversations obviously but it was one thing that stuck out to me was how many parents and kids were making videos together in a time that was like we're all in lockdown and generally like parents and kids aren't having generally speaking those kind of interactions of the kid like come on get my video and like I just thought that was like I don't know I feel like I feel like the you know the younger generation is going to benefit from that like having those connections because sometimes you don't get that close until you're older yourself as a young person and I just feel like it changed things a little bit but
Starting point is 00:12:12 as far as just our it was wild and there was a lot coming at us at warp speed and you know kind of just like what is happening it was a lot of that, like, what is happening? But smart enough to know, like, this is, you know, if the girls want to pursue this, like, we need to be smart about it. And Mark, being an entrepreneur, was very good at sort of, he didn't know that business, but just business in general and sort of, like, slowing down. Like, everything is coming at us really fast. We're going to just go really slow because something you decide today could like mess things up down the road for a
Starting point is 00:12:52 better situation. So we're just taking our time as things are coming really fast. Right. And you're having to I think you said it. I don't know if it was in maybe the last episode of the season, but you've had to learn kind of a different way to parent now. You know, you're not just in Connecticut with two girls in high school. I mean, this is worldwide fame so quick. It's crazy. Yeah, I think and especially early on and the negative comments and, you know, the girls, they're human. They make mistakes. They've made mistakes online. online they made mistakes offline and now it's all in the public eye right and everybody's talking about it so at a time where they maybe prior they would make a mistake it would be maybe a different approach to dealing with that as a chair then they're already so down and the comments are coming so hard and so fast that like, okay, what are we going to come over the top with that?
Starting point is 00:13:48 They already feel awful. They already realize they made a mistake. And so we just kind of talk them through it. Yeah. And instead of jumping on top of everything else. Well, that breakdown Dixie had, I think it was that episode. No, I'll cry if we talk about it. I know.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Me too. As a mom. I watched it and she had nodded off a little bit and I was like, mom. And she was like, wait, what? And I was like, no, now I have to rewind it to watch it again. But and now that I'm a mom, I think I'm just a little softer. But I watched that scene a couple of times and it just it broke my heart. I can't imagine as her mother how you felt with that. That was awful because Dixie's pretty, she puts up this strong front and just this video that came out that, it was just, she wasn't in a good place
Starting point is 00:14:36 and all of that on top of it. And it was scary and it was a very, very dark time. And as a parent to see your kid, even off of the show and what they show, like there's more to it, you know? Of course. And she didn't feel safe. And so she came to our house. Thank God. And I'm so thankful that she has both of you to do that.
Starting point is 00:15:00 And it was so raw. And for you to agree to allow the cameras in, you didn't have to do that. So Mark and I were filming and she just came in and we were like oh my god like what happened yeah and so first reaction is like no and she was like no it's fine so that's so big of her too because these are the type of things that when you do have a public platform like so many people struggle with mental health, with anxiety, with panic attacks and all of that. And so for her to be able to put that out publicly for millions and millions of people to watch, I just think that's just so huge
Starting point is 00:15:35 and is helping so many people who struggle with similar things. Thank you. And I think, you know, even in that moment, she felt that like people need to see that they're not alone. People need to see their little words they type online affect people. Also for her, I think even from the time that was filmed to the time it came out, she had so much growth and she had really with all of us sort of focused on her mental health and how to get help and you know we were trying to do that too she has to be a willing partner and
Starting point is 00:16:14 she wanted to like that was like almost like the tipping point and she was like I can't live like this so how quick was that turnaround from when you filmed to when the show airs so that the show aired i think it was september 3rd so that was in february march yeah okay so it's about the same as like with sheen it's like usually and sometimes you just you like you say you grow and you go through all of these things and then you have to relive it again when it airs was she and and i think so many people coming up to her there were people so many people that were like you know I know that was hard but thank you because I feel like that sometimes and and then some people a lot of people were like let me hug you like I'm so sorry and she was like I so appreciate that you felt that way to come and
Starting point is 00:17:03 tell me that but I'm so much better. Like she wanted them to know, like, I am OK. Like, you know, because it's hard to like leave off with that. So, yeah. And it's tough because, you know, it's hours of filming for this much. So just I think the nature of being in lockdown and people feeling stir crazy and having emotions they've never had before. And I think, you know, our show was not different than a lot of people or a lot of people were feeling at that time. But we were having like fun times. Sure, of course. You know, you can't show everything.
Starting point is 00:17:40 But I feel like season two is just a much like sign of the times, right? Everybody's out and having a little more fun, enjoying life and a little lighter. So I feel like it'll be, it's still us being ourselves, but it'll be a little lighter for sure. Well, speaking of keeping things lighter, one of the things I've been doing for my diet, I've been doing for my diet, I have these light, fresh meals from Green Chef. So I've been eating these meals for over like a year and a half now since I was pregnant. Brock makes them. I make them. They have so many fresh ingredients. They have time-saving recipes, just all of the fresh produce, vibrant flavors, it gives you more opportunities to just get outside and make the most of sunny days before summer's end. You don't
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Starting point is 00:19:19 so many different chicken and fish dishes that I mean, they're like better than restaurant quality. And we made it ourselves at home. It just makes it so much easier, especially with the baby, not having to figure out what are we doing for dinner? Boom, Green Chef, here it is. And right now you can go to greenchef.com slash Shea135 and use code Shea135 to get $135 off across five boxes and your first box ships free. So again, just go to greenchef.com slash Shea 135 and use code Shea 135 to get $135 off across five boxes. And like I said, your first box ships free. Green Chef is the number one meal kit for eating well. All right, so we've talked food. Now let's talk sex. Today we're working with a new exciting sponsor to talk about better sex. Our favorite sex care brand Woo More Play is back on the podcast
Starting point is 00:20:20 to help our audience have the best sex of their lives. So especially when I was single, I would always use these they're called woo freshies, which are these little wipes, you know, either before after sex, because they're made with coconut water, and they smell fucking amazing. So I feel confident fresh, especially, you know, if you want to have a quickie in the middle of the day, like I'm telling you, when I was single, I seriously had one of these stashed everywhere in my bags, in my car, next to my bed. They were everywhere. And now, you know, the sex isn't as often, but when it is, it's fresh, it's good. And for the best sex ever, when you, you guys have to try Woo's coconut love oil. So it's made with natural and organic
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Starting point is 00:21:52 Nice. I love that. I was going to say, are there any spoilers you can give us on what to expect for season two? There it's funny because no, you know better. I know, but you always have to ask. You never know. They might be like, I'll give you one thing. It's just there's a lot of relationship stuff. OK. You know, on all levels. So that's interesting. And things that I feel like we haven't talked about before. So I think people will want to see that. Yeah, for sure. I read an article recently that said Dixie and Noah were deciding to keep their relationship
Starting point is 00:22:30 more private. So, I mean, you don't have to say anything. I do hope that things are still going well with them because just seeing that relationship, it seemed like a good supportive one. But maybe I'm wrong. I'm not sure. So you'll have to watch the show because you'll get all your answers okay you'll be surprised okay and also just along those lines respect
Starting point is 00:22:53 to the girls for keeping certain parts of their relationship private you know just because they are so public and have hundreds and millions of followers you know there are still some things in your life that you don't have to put it all out there. But I think what they do put out there is just so important and how at the end of every episode, there's the message if you're struggling with mental health. I think that is so important. There were some things that she had said in one of the episodes where she was like, maybe I should just do everyone a favor. And that also broke my heart. Me too. Kids, I mean, they're ruthless.
Starting point is 00:23:33 And the thing is, I feel like as her mom, she has so much support. She comes to us all the time. We have all these kind of conversations and she still feels that way so for people who don't have that like it's I I heard for them because that's well that's what I was going to say they're so blessed to have both parents there that are so supportive thank you you know that's it's so important because like you said there's there's probably more that don't you know and I feel like
Starting point is 00:24:03 that's been a big reaction yeah our show is that maybe people that don't have that. And I feel like that's been a big reaction to our show is that maybe people who don't have the support kind of like look at the girls like, wait, I'm not alone and you did this and you kept going and I can do that. And people tell them that. Yeah, and to do it in front of millions of people. So many people are struggling just in their private life, not in front of millions of people online. So it's not easy to
Starting point is 00:24:30 put it all out there. But I think when you do have this platform, when you speak about those serious things, it is just it's so important and you help so many people. So you have raised two amazing girls. I just as a mom looking from the outside and being a fan of the show and them, I'm so proud of that your entire family. It's incredible. Thank you to see everything you guys have done together. We're still learning. We're still human. We're still, you know, have. And one thing is, is like, you know, as I said before, Dixie's like looks at that scene, not seen, but whatever that time where she broke down on and feels so like a different human now she's put a lot of work into her and that's that's amazing health but at the same time it's not over and you know i think i think for charlie sometimes like when she was younger like when am
Starting point is 00:25:19 i gonna be better and i'm like what's always going to be ever-changing like not gonna wake up like okay I put in the work now I don't have mental health problems or issues or struggles like it's just I'm everybody like I think as long as you pay attention to it and tend to it in whatever way works for you like you know I just she she felt like there was going to be an end to feeling sad or this or that. And it's, I'm like, it's balanced. It's going to grow. And both my girls suffer with anxiety. And like Sheena said years ago, it just wasn't talked about, you know, it was, there was some stigma around it. And I'm so thankful now that people are able to talk about it and feel better. And my girls and your girls, they have a platform. And if they can talk about it, like you said,
Starting point is 00:26:08 and somebody in middle America or wherever can see this and be like, I'm not the only one and they're getting better and I can get better. And I think it's so important. For sure. Sheena can relate to that with her fertility struggles and how many people, you know, you reached, I mean, by just talking about it. And thankfully, and now she has her little rainbow baby. So when you have that platform and if you can help people, it really makes such a difference. And your girls have done that. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Thank you. And, you know, to already have struggles with mental health just outside of the public eye and then to have that just put you know on a huge platform is crazy so how old were the girls when they started dealing with anxiety and just like realizing that this is something that I have a problem with I need to work on well Dixie got her first concussion when she was in the second grade and so I feel like after that is whenever things started to, because she would be out of school and then she'd be nervous to go back. And it was a different kind of nervous. And then she would go back and then kids being kids like that young, they don't, they're just like honest. Like, why weren't you here?
Starting point is 00:27:21 Yeah, exactly. Where did you go? You know, and it was just a hard time and then as she got older it got worse and I definitely think the concussions played a part in it post concussion syndrome she struggled with she's had migraines since she could speak and tell me my head is bumping oh so she's always had that and it's always been like a little tough but she always just powered through and like she didn't know people didn't have headaches until I think it was like seventh grade
Starting point is 00:27:52 she was like wait people don't have head pain every day that's so what is that like and so that was kind of crazy so I feel like the the anxiety got worse and worse as she got older. And so she's almost 21. So middle school, even then, it wasn't talked about like it is now. And so it was hard to from us as parents to help her because the information wasn't easy to get. Exactly. And so, you know, we found a therapist and, you know, not all of them are good fits. And some of them made her more anxious to go in and talk about it.
Starting point is 00:28:30 She's like, I don't want to do that. So it was not an easy road to find what works for her. And sometimes it's growth, too, like maturity. Not growth, but like just her maturing and understanding it. But it's hard to understand something that, like don't even understand. Right. Mark had anxiety. You know, he's more prone to like when I'm the same and, you know, having like an feeling anxious and all that. He but him, too, like he spent the time to like help himself and tend to it after he kind of learned more about it. But that's the
Starting point is 00:29:06 hard part. Right. You know, I feel like it's there's much more access now. Absolutely. And conversation. So people are like, wait, I have I feel like that, you know. And, you know, speaking of anxiety, one thing that I have talked to my listeners about before are the amazing probiotic products from Just Thrive. You know, they have the Just Calm that helps with stress, but they also have ones that promote healthy skin. And I have been obsessed with my skin for as long as I can remember, because to me, healthy, glowy skin is really the first sign of youth. And it's the most important step in any beauty and makeup regimen. So I will literally
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Starting point is 00:31:31 today. Go to justthrivehealth.com and use promo code Shay at checkout. Hey, beautiful people. My name is Alisa Reynolds, and I'm the executive chef and founder of My Two Cents LA and host of My Last Meal, a new podcast that asks people from all walks of life, whether it's musicians, celebrities, artists, chefs, scientists, renaissance men and women, what their last meal on earth would be and why. So don't forget to tune in on Fridays. You can find us anywhere you can listen to podcasts. So why not? You can find us anywhere you can listen to podcasts.
Starting point is 00:32:03 So why not? What would you say are some tools that have helped the girls and Mark deal with their anxiety that other people like outlets that they should reach out for? I mean, something. The girls still we do this like if they'll call me, Charlie will call me and she's super anxious. I'm like, did you do the 5, 4, 3, four three two one like that's just something you can immediately do you know five things you can see four things you can you can hear three things you can smell whatever and kind of changing her focus yeah they they like to do the ice in the hands oh I've not tried that oh I'm trying to think it's really about changing the focus and getting your mind into a different place right the breathing is so breathing yeah and they were both
Starting point is 00:32:49 i don't know what it was they were both so opposed to breathing i'm like i don't know why it's kind of important we need to do that why is this such a big deal and they would fight me on it i have an app for that the calm app seriously yeah dixie has one what is it breathe there is it there is one breathe b-r-e-e-t-h yeah but i found that was happening with charlie is when she would get like in the in this time since all this social media stuff is she got to a point where she she had trouble like calm she didn't know how to calm herself down and so we would sit together and we would you know you know let's put your mind somewhere else.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Okay. What's your favorite place? Is it the beach? And what do you hate here? And what do you see? And that's so great. They have, you know, and holding hands and doing it and like, Hey, let's take a deep breath. And, and then we did that a couple of times. And I remember she was out with a friend and she was in the bathroom. She was like, I can't walk out of the bathroom. You have to come get me. And I'm, I'm going to run run out of here I'm I I don't I don't want to be here like nothing happened she just got super anxious and I said we've done this together you can do this on your own yeah like just sit and do it and then I didn't hear back she was like I said call me back text me whatever and then I never heard back and then she came home and She was like, I said, call me back, text me, whatever. And then I never heard back.
Starting point is 00:34:06 And then she came home and she was like, that was so much fun. Meanwhile, the next two hours, I'm like, is she okay? You know? Right. Yeah. So, you know, but it's ever changing. And I think as they mature and feel things differently, they try to deal with them differently, but they're both in therapy and they've been very committed to that,
Starting point is 00:34:28 which was hard to get them to do for a long time because they went through a time where there just wasn't good fits for them. Right. And we saw a little bit of that where I don't know if you saw this episode, but Charlie was talking about her therapist and her therapist said,
Starting point is 00:34:42 oh, you know, like you make my daughter really happy. So like, I understand you're struggling, but just know you make people happy. And it's like, okay, but your daughter being happy, isn't going to fix my mental health. So it's just, I can't imagine, you know, having to just go through therapist after therapist to find the right fit because everyone does know who your daughter is. Yeah. And I think too, everyone does know who your daughter is yeah and I think too it's like the I gotta start all over yeah but they both found someone now that they love and but the criteria was I told them I think you're gonna love her I talked with her too every other week and I said I think you're gonna love her and I just try it and they were gonna there were things where are they gonna make me
Starting point is 00:35:26 is she gonna make me start my story over from day one yeah and is she gonna make me breathe because either one of those i'm out yeah yeah so i told her i'm like okay here's the thing here's the deal she was like got it you will be breathing regardless so fast forward many many many months they they're doing some breathing now. They've learned the importance of it. I don't think it's their go-to. They don't love it, but they realize. And it's going to be different for everybody.
Starting point is 00:35:55 My daughter Courtney taught me a technique a while ago. It's about compartmentalization. And she says if there's something that she's stressing and having a lot of anxiety about, she literally puts it in a box i know it may sound silly to some people but she like pretends she puts it in her mouth like swallows it and it's like okay i'm not going to deal with this today i'm putting it off i'm just you know going to deal with it maybe tomorrow and then she says the rest of the day she feels so much better but she literally like takes it and puts it into a separate place visually takes it and puts it somewhere else and that's what's been working for her. Does she go back
Starting point is 00:36:28 and deal with it? Well, I think so. Yeah, she does. That's the important part. Because I feel like Dixie does put things off and then never. She was doing that for a long time. Now, she's so much better. The important part is going back
Starting point is 00:36:44 and dealing with it. And she encores a very. Yeah. But yeah, I'm like, the important part is going back and dealing with it. And Court's a very organized person. You know, she's got three different jobs. She, you know, has to stay organized for other people and keeps everything together. So I think with her, sometimes she would forget to do things for herself or stress on things because she wants to make sure that everybody else's lives that she takes care of are in order. But yeah, she just nodded to me. So yes, she does go back and deal with it. That she's done great, you know, and she's suffered with different
Starting point is 00:37:10 anxieties for years since she was, I mean, as a baby, really from the time she was a toddler, she just had a couple of random medical things that really caused a lot of stress with doctors. And then she had a food anxiety. And at 10, you know, she had got, she got a stomach flu one time and then was afraid to eat after that. So we really struggled with her eating for a good while. And thankfully she was able to work through that. And now she's the biggest foodie in the world. She's 90 pounds wet, but this kid can eat, you know, but everybody has to learn their own way to deal with it. And thankfully, your girls have the outlet where they can come to you and they have the resources. And that's so
Starting point is 00:37:49 great. But they're the example to other people who may not have that where they can look at them and be like, we can do this. And there's different things. Breathing may work for one and not for the other. Courtney's swallowing her thing and coming back to it later works for her. Yeah. And I think that I think the takeaway is just keep looking for it. Just keep trying because and that's what, you know, with the whole breathing thing for the girls is I'm like, I'm not I can't make you do anything. Right. But maybe at some point in your life, you'll explore it.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Sure. And I think just being open to trying different things to help you through those moments, sometimes it's just getting through the moment. Like, let me just get through this right now. Yeah. And whatever that takes that's healthy is super important. I feel like, too, with anxiety, you know, there's so many different levels of it. Like I saw Charlie saying that, you know, she has social anxiety. And I feel that on a level when you are in the public eye, like I know there are nights when I don't go to Sir Tom Tom if I don't want people to come up to me. I get it. But there are some nights where it's just
Starting point is 00:38:55 overwhelming. And I'm like, I need to go to the bathroom. I just need a minute. But I never in my life had social anxiety until being on a television show. And it's it's few and far between. But sometimes I feel it stronger than others. So is this something that Charlie struggled with before the pandemic or is the social anxiety a newer anxiety for her? Yeah, she's always sort of had that. OK, but definitely got worse. Right. I think I think just being in lockdown and coming out. right i think i think just being in lockdown then coming out yeah because they their numbers grew so much during the pandemic and they never met any of those people so then they came out and and were in outside and people were coming up it was like their whole you know numbers were coming at them and it was a lot for her and a lot of people don't understand personal space either
Starting point is 00:39:45 but at the same time that's all they wanted they were like it doesn't feel real because it's all just on my phone like i want to meet these people i want to connect with them and so but then at the same time she was like it's overwhelming yeah so she's so much better now sometimes it just depends sometimes like when if she's going through her own thing and then it happens, it gets like it throws her a little bit. But she loves when things are like set up, like meet and greets. And like she's like, I'm here. I know this is happening. Like it's when this is in control.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Right. Or, you know, you're just trying to shop and then there's paparazzi. And it was like, I don't want to get out of the car. Yeah. That was she's so much better now. She's like out and about everywhere. That's awesome. Are they loving it here in LA, living here?
Starting point is 00:40:29 Yeah, I think so. I mean, she doesn't drive. So that's been a little tricky for her. Dixie loves to drive in her car and not really like do drive together, ride together. But, you know, they haven't, none of us have really done a lot since we lived here. But we're just starting to. Is it her anxiety that is the reason she's not driving yet? I mean, for a long time.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Yeah. I mean, she just kind of all season one, she didn't want to leave the house. And it was just processing everything, I think. And the inside was like her safe zone and like I could do my thing here and when she went out like she was she felt like she wasn't good at it and so with that it made her even more nervous like I'm not one of those people that like Dixie's when when she's out and she's like people are like want to take a picture yeah come on let's You know, and she works the conversation and all of that. And Charlie struggles with that.
Starting point is 00:41:27 She's shy and she's not, she feels she's not good at it, which makes her more nervous. So why would I go out there and do that to myself? But Mark and I have like stayed on her. Like you need to, the more you stay in, the more you're going to want to stay in. Yeah, the harder it's going to be. And so, you know, we would do things as a family
Starting point is 00:41:44 so we could be with her and have her have that support. But once she moved in with Dixie and they were out and about all the time. I mean, literally from one day living with us to being more independent on her own. Dixie, like, come on, we're going. Get in the car. Yeah, so it's a good balance for them.
Starting point is 00:42:03 It's harder for your parent, as a parent, to be like, come on, get in the car. We're going out. You need to go out and do some things. This is her sister slash best friend. Exactly. So I'm so happy that that worked out that way. And let's be honest, nobody likes driving in LA. Except Dixie.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Well, Dixie. Good for Dixie. I've been driving here my whole life and I hate it, but I still do it. Yeah. So I wanted to ask too, how is Charlie doing? Just, you know, she's so young. She has all of these people, as you see in one of the episodes where she's like, I feel this pressure, you know, if I need a week off, but then what if this person, you know, it's like all of these jobs are relying on Charlie. So how is she doing with that? Just in general, you know it's like all of these jobs are relying on charlie so how is she doing with that just in general you know she's got so much that was when we saw that we were like okay we we have
Starting point is 00:42:57 literally gone out of our way to set this first of all we're always asking them do you want to do this right you don't have to do this we can scale it back whatever gone out of our way to set up this whole thing in a way that if she stopped doing anything tomorrow and wanted to go to college and not do anything else with social media we're fine mark still has a full job like he owns his own company like we don't need you there's so many other things the you know the dogs have a channel Dixie's doing her thing we have our family thing and we set it up not that Mark and I were like trying to be in the spotlight but we set it up so that if we do more family things and Charlie's just not feeling it Dixie's not feeling it and they you know one of them don't want it doesn't want to go or do it or film then it's okay we're all here yeah you don't
Starting point is 00:43:51 have to so I think she felt that yeah but that wasn't really the reality that's good and the more we grow the less dependent on her anybody is yeah it's like she's doing things she's passionate about and sometimes those passion projects aren't making the same money as other things but it's you got to be happy you got two things you enjoy and so they're both doing that and she definitely feels like doesn't't feel that, especially now. Like now more than ever. There's so many other things and businesses that we're doing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:30 But, you know, as we're still learning, we obviously didn't communicate that enough to her. Like we felt like we did. Yeah. But you have sense in it. It's all a learning process, you know. I mean, this is a totally different world and way of parenting than a couple of years ago. So you guys seem like you're doing a great job. Absolutely. So I do want to talk about some of their other passion projects and whatnot. So they have their clothing line,
Starting point is 00:44:56 Social Tourist. I was on La Cienega a couple of weeks ago and there was a huge sign for it. So awesome. The clothes are so cute. So is this something that they've always talked about doing? How did this come about? And how fun for them to do this together. I know, it's so good. Well, Mark's in the clothing business. He's a manufacturer's rep. So he always had like a showroom
Starting point is 00:45:19 and he would rep different lines. And so they grew up with that and they would do their own clothing lines and they would make, because back before like sending everything online, Mark would make these binders with each like skew and everything and the whole line. And so they would make these binders
Starting point is 00:45:40 and they're like, go online, they print out like clothes they like and do it. And let me do my sales pitch. And for the spring line, and they're like go online they print out things like clothes they like and do it together and let me do my sales pitch and for the spring line and they would do this whole it was so cute I probably still have it I'm I'm that I'm that mom but so they always kind of knew that world and you know they were the first to tell you like they they dress basic but they're okay with that because they knew why they knew that they would evolve over time but the funny thing is is they would always go to mark like what should i wear dad like is this cool because he loves fashion and all of that that's awesome i'm more like functional i'm like okay are your shoes gonna hurt like is that gonna scratch you
Starting point is 00:46:22 well same we talked about that this morning with court's shoes. I'm like, you're going to roll an ankle. But she's like, but they're cute. When else am I going to wear them? I hear you. So that's and then fast forward. They had done a deal with Hollister and that was super successful and they had a blast. And then we ended up coming to, you know, the girls like I want to do my our own thing. And so they did it under the Hollister umbrella.
Starting point is 00:46:44 And fast forward, it's been a little over a year. They have a pop-up shop here. So they're loving it. I love that. And they're really, I mean, they're really dig in on the, you know, as the creative process and the pieces and the fabrics like they do. They're really involved. I mean, obviously there's a team a social tour team of professionals that are in that and then they but they kind of say like okay this next drop
Starting point is 00:47:11 they have on every month you know this is kind of what we're thinking for the next one and and then they come with the samples and the girls like help tweak it that's great so they're having a blast i love that and where's their pop-up shop for those in the la area it is on melrose yeah just have the street if you go to social tourists on instagram you'll see the address yeah nice so yeah that's perfect place for them right on melrose yeah i need to check it out melrose needs good shops again and the and they were you know they had i think we drove past it on the way here. Yeah. They had a say in what the store looked like and all that. I love that. It was so much fun.
Starting point is 00:47:48 They had a blast. It was good for them. So they have their clothing line. I know you said Dixie just got back from tour. Yes. Amazing. How many shows did you get to go to? Like, how exciting to just see.
Starting point is 00:47:59 She's so talented. She has such a good voice. All of the messages that were popping up of all the haters. It's just like people are just hating because they can't sing because they're not as talented as her because the girl can sing yeah thank you i mean she's definitely put a ton of work into it and i think she's i mean even she'll say like how much her voice is stronger and how much she's learned over this time i mean she spent before her tour and well when she was putting her album together she had clocked something like over 100 hours in a month wow in the studio in the studio so she really was like put in her work everything
Starting point is 00:48:38 and she had a great team around her so it was a lot of fun for her. And she was really, you know, feels definitely like she has something to prove. And she's right. She did. She's right. And so she got the opportunity to open up for Big Time Rush. And their tour is like was much longer, but she did a month of it because she had other things going on. But like before and then after. So she traveled mostly.
Starting point is 00:49:03 It was like the Northeast. she went down to florida georgia so we went to mark went to connecticut we went to madison square garden i saw a few of the shows but it was so hard because it was like almost every day so if we would fly to a place like they're on sprinter in sprinter vans and then they're off driving, but it's not really far enough to fly. So we kind of did what we could. Mark went to her last show last night. Nice. So fun.
Starting point is 00:49:30 And she had a blast. You know, I think she didn't realize how much she would miss her people, her family and friends. And, you know, kind of this this is amazing. And I'm having so much fun. Right. I'm so lonely for all my people. So it was nice. friends and you know kind of this this is amazing and i'm having so much fun right i'm so lonely for all my people yeah so it was nice so different people went to different shows so that was like nice exciting so i love that and and she was like already saying a few days ago she was like i don't want it to end so yeah well it's just time to prep for the next tour you know
Starting point is 00:50:02 there's always going to be more music, more tours. That's the beauty about, you know, certain careers, you know, that you could do forever. Yeah. I mean, we've seen so many people in concert that have been performing since before probably you were even born. Elton John. Yeah. Crazy. So are there any other passion projects the girls are working on that we can tease?
Starting point is 00:50:25 So well, Charlie just had her fragrance come out. Born Dreamer and it smells so good. I'm not being biased. Like literally everybody, everybody who wears it says, I get so many compliments when I'm wearing this. I don't know what it is. I know it's happened to me. I've been wearing it for a year and I couldn't say. Yeah it stops people like oh what do you that smells so good i love that and there's times where me and dixie and charlie are all wearing it we walk into a place and people are like wow what is that so now i could finally say so and she was in on it wasn't like a fragrance and they put her name on it she was in from the very beginning with like what she wanted i love that we went to grass in france and went to the flower fields and the whole thing yeah wow cool that's awesome well it's obvious that your girls put in the work and to anyone just looking on the outside
Starting point is 00:51:14 like oh she just dances on the internet it's like no there's so much more that you see these girls do and they're so young so they have long careers ahead of them they are excited they're loving what they're doing they're loving their passion projects and just they're having fun I feel like that's good really important having fun and I'm sure like that comes with maturity and appreciating the place you're in while figuring out who you are as a person. So it's kind of all coming together so nicely. Yeah. It's really fun to watch.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Yeah. It's amazing. Well, from the outside, I love watching it. I love just seeing, you know, the videos. And were they both at the Met Gala? Dixie went last year. Okay. But this year they didn't go.
Starting point is 00:52:02 And we ended up going to the Bahamas for Charlie's birthday. Oh, fun. So we took a bunch of their friends and our friends. Yeah. It's so much fun. It's just so cool to see what, you know, they've accomplished with. I mean, that's like the biggest party of parties to get invited to. And then being on the Times 100.
Starting point is 00:52:20 I mean, it's just wild. It's huge. Yeah, I think like what they want, and they always say this about the show, is they want people to see the business side because, you know, they see them like doing 15-minute videos and then there's, oh, Charlie has a fragrance. But like, let me tell you the story behind it and how much fun it was and cool to like create,
Starting point is 00:52:40 help create with Robertay this fragrance and the way that I like it and how they were so great to work with she was very lucky they were so amazing to work with and really listen to her I mean at the end of the day when she started the fragrance journey she was 16 and so they but they listened and they really paid attention to what she her part in the conversation and I think for that that's why it came out so nicely because it was such a great collaboration well like you said it's a passion project so when they have that passion and they really want to put everything they can into it
Starting point is 00:53:14 yeah so that's great awesome congrats I love that seriously congrats with everything with the new season of the show I cannot wait to watch season. I decided I'm not doing cable anymore. I'm only streaming. So yeah, so I'm like, what's on Hulu? I got it. I started watching your show right when it came out. And then I was just between cities and moving and I got behind. And so then I binged it all. And I'm so excited for the next season. Thank you. I am too. I can't wait for it to be out. I will probably have to exchange numbers. You've been in this longer than I have, so I'll need some tips.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Definitely. All right. Please tell everyone where they can find you if they're not one of the millions who already know. All my socials are at Heidi D'Amelio on pretty much everything. Awesome. Thank you so much for getting into some shenanigans with us.
Starting point is 00:54:04 I'm so excited and just seriously, congratulations on everything with your family. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thanks for being here. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye. Thanks for listening to shenanigans with Sheena Shea. Download new episodes every week on Apple podcastss, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you want it? Let me see you shake that Do you need it? Let me see you shake that Do you want it? Let me see you shake that Come and get it
Starting point is 00:54:47 Let me see you shake that Step in the club, little black dress

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