Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Nappy Nibble

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

Soph and Emma have big family updates - Colby’s off on an exciting adventure, while Joseff’s graduating to a big bed. Plus, the ladies can’t help but giggle at a listener’s photo day fiasco, and one mum's nappy nightmare! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

First you gotta put your neck into it, don't stop just do it, do it, leave you, roll your tongue from the back up to the front. That's very unsanitary. Not from the back to the front. If you're going to do it, do it from the front to the back. Yeah exactly, not the back to the front. You can't mix business and pleasure. No, no, no.

No, do not mix the back with the front. Anywho, this is the Secret Mum Club. Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I am Sophina. And I'm Emma. And this podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are.

You can keep that to yourself, you can be anonymous. And those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. We're giggling because we went straight from singing My Neck My Back. Let's be honest, it's not going to be taken out. Maz is going to leave it in there for us to talk about licking your bum crack and your foofoo. And your vagina.

Can't lick your own. Hilarious thing is that we used to listen to that when we were quite young. Do you know what? When I used to jam out in my bedroom and be like lick from the back to the front. Yeah. No idea what they were fucking talking about. No. So delusional. We must have been, me and my sisters about 13, 14. Just jamming to that. Yeah. Damn, you roll your tongue. My parents were probably like, okay guys. Okay. Chill out with the tunes. Get that on repeat. Do you know what else I find hilarious?

You know, Horny, the song. Yeah. I think that came out when we were like 10 or 11 and we're like, I'm horny, horny, horny, horny. So horny. Horny, horny, horny. Moins the thong song. It come on the radio the other day.

What an absolute belter. It's an absolute tune, but I remember dancing to that. The underage disco. Yes. The school disco. When I was about 14. Yeah, about 14. Mine was the school disco. The thong, the thong, thong. And you'd get your thong.

I love it when the beat goes. Why was I ever wearing a thong when I was 14? I wasn't wearing a thong at 14. I was getting, you'd get your thong up above your white trousers and be like, who you were, you little hussy. I was a different person back then, wasn't I? I was on the radio the other day and the children were like, what's a thong? It's a flip flop in Australia.

A waist, that's always what it is. Just a flip flop in Australia. The thong, it just goes between your toes. What does thong mean? Chafing. Goes between your toes and your ass crack. I didn't do the other thing. I just say my pants.

These are my pants. Panties. How are you doing? I feel like we need to address the elephant in the room. Let's hug. We have hugged before. That was really awkward. Yeah. We were each other. You're now officially the mother of a one year old and a three year old and a three year old. So close together as well. I know their ages. It's literally the same as Dots and Colts. Yeah. One month. Literally exactly the same. Yeah. There is one month, two days between them. Yeah. Because whenever people ask the age gap and I say two years, one month, it just makes me think of Two Girls, One Cup. This podcast is going off to a flying start. I know. My brain's in the gutter today. Have you been at it?

When people ask me the age gap, honestly, that's all I can think of. And I think I'll stop myself from saying that because most people will be like, what? Mine's two years, a month and a day. Oh, doesn't sound as catchy. All right. Oh, piss on my parade. Yeah. Mine's two years, a month and a couple of weeks.

Yeah. But anyway, I feel. Mine's way more catchy. Yeah. Yours is better. Two years, a month and a day. Yeah. Yours is better. You planned that better. I did. Yeah. But anyway, I feel... Mine's way more catchy. Yeah, yours is better. Two years a month and a day.

Yeah, yours is better. You planned that better. I did. Yeah. Get jiggy with it. It could have been two years, two months if I'd waited the like original due date. Obviously I had a caesarean didn't I? You did. So the actual birthday I felt alright about, but what I was just saying to you off air

was what I feel weirder about is the anniversary of like the day that we brought her home. It's the dirty memories. Yeah. It's my phone is doing me dirty. Sorry. I mean, like the, you know, when it says this is what happened on this day. Yeah, this day last year. So yesterday threw up one of like me holding her and I was having my first glass of wine, little Prosecco or champagne and me and Stefan were having dinner and Jojo was in bed. But like, I really, really, really remember that. Like it was yesterday. Yeah, and like that was a year ago.

And also I think what makes me a bit emotional about it being the anniversary of bringing her home rather than her being bored is it's when she met Joseph. And I look at them both now and I'm like, they've come so far since then. But he was asking me the other day to see videos and photos of when they first met. Because he gets it now and he's been saying like, it's Sadie's birthday.

She's one. Happy birthday and stuff. So I was saying, yeah, it's a whole year ago. We brought her home. Do you want to see some videos? And I was showing in the videos of when we walked in with her and he just seems again, like so babyish himself. And he's going, the first thing he says is like, she's got tiny fingers. And I was just like, oh, you've like, you've both, he's grown so much since then.

But obviously she's grown so much as well. And also I just think we've been through so much like as a family, because it's been a mental year. Quite hard. I've spoken about that on the podcast. I think it's been like such a big adjustment for us all. So I feel like just emotional with the achievement of it all really, like getting through it.

Now you're balls deep in a year in, what would you say was harder for you going from none to one or one to two? Oh, whenever people ask me that I say one to two. Do you think? Hands down. Do you think not to one? Yeah, I think because that whole adjustment of having someone who is depending on you.

And I think that panic of like generally forgetting them or leaving them somewhere, that's what scared me. But I found, obviously my easiest is two to three. This has been, I feel like the more you have, the easier it gets. And you had a bit of a bigger age gap as well. I suppose in the middle. Definitely between these two.

Yeah. I'm not to minimize having one child. Like definitely that is a total life changer. Oh massively. Like you're going from being like, Oh, it doesn't discredit it. Both of them are really fucking hard. Obviously that was like hugely life changing as well.

But I don't know which one is harder for you. In terms of difficulty. Like when I had Joseph, obviously it changed my life, but like it was just him and us. And like he slotted into our lives and like, it was great. One to two, because you're managing the emotions of the older child as well. And trying to divide your time,

that 100% hands down I found that the hardest. Yeah. But everyone's different. It doesn't discredit either one. It just means whatever one's harder for you. And if you've got a particularly clingy older child, like Joseph's obviously obsessed with me. He's going through,

obsessed with me. I mean, I get it, I'm cool. But he's going through a real parental preference thing at the moment. Like, only wants me like not. Renly's going for that at the moment. But then I'm trying to like be with Joseph and Sadie. But Renly's all for you, is he? All for me. All for me. And he now does the Klingon. So when Chris goes to take him, he's like, no, I will not leave you. And you're like, oh, please, please. I was in the bank

trying to get some cash out the other day and I was like, can you just... Get something. Don't worry about it, I'll just keep him, I'll just keep him. If you try and put them down as well, like Sadie knows now, she's got her voice. If I put her in the car seat, she's like, ah!

And I'm like, well I've got to put you down. Friendly does the thing out of the car seat now. So you can't put the belt on. His head went over the back of the car seat, the other day I was like, Jesus Christ, chill out. I just want to take you for some ice cream. Relax yourself. Yeah.

Fuck me. Did he say mama? Cause whenever I walk away from Sadie or like try and do something else, she goes mama. And then obviously that breaks my heart. He just says mom. Mom. He's gone straight to mom.

Oh mom. I think it's because Colby says mom. He doesn't say mommy. So they don straight to mom. Oh, mom. I think it's because Colby says mom, he doesn't say mommy. He's copying it. So they don't say mommy, they say mom. Yeah. Mom, mom. So now he just goes mom, mom.

But I say daddy, go and get daddy or get dad to help. So he says dad. So he says dad. No, it's cute. I swear Sadie looked at me yesterday and went, hi mama. She's put the two together. Imagine.

I know, I don't know. Hiya. Because she knows Hiya. Yeah. And she knows together. Imagine. I know, I don't know if it's- Hiya! Because she does, she knows Hiya. Yeah. And she knows mama. So I'm like, she's just put- I think Renly this morning said, Doreen. I was making Dotsie's lunchbox

and he just went, Doreen. Who's Doreen? Doreen the Soreen. Oh. The little Soreen- The Malt-Love. Yeah, yeah. Is that what you call them?

I was like, he knows. Yeah. I think also, just to continue the brag about what our children are doing. Sadie's got into Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She does the little hand like mime of like a star. But when I finished singing it, I swear she repeats the,

up above the, obviously not that clear, but she like mimics the tune. Oh no. After I finished singing it. Renly would just whack the story time off. He doesn't want to play. I keep giving him his Tony box to listen to stories. He just fucking catapults us straight. No, they're brutal with the lobbing of the toys and stuff,

but she's getting into the songs and stuff now. Head, shoulders, knees and toes she does. Hands on her head. No, we don't. We're not that fun. Wind the bobbing up, clap, clap, clap. We were also walking. Now we've had-

Regressed. She's still not bothering to walk. No, he's not bothered. Do you know what? I'm not even in any rush for it. No, I don't want her to. No. It's too much like hard work.

I don't know about that. I just need it to just slow the fuck down a bit. Yes. All I wanted Colby to do was walk, walk, talk, let's get this shit on the road. And then obviously because they were both little, I needed Dottie to just walk. And now I'm like, please dude, don't

walk. I'll carry, mum, I'll carry you. That's why he's become obsessed being carried. Then I've got my three year old going, carry me. And you're like, okay, on my head. Honestly, I'm like, you can walk, you bloody self. Anyway. But you had a lovely time at Sennie Pease. Sennie Pease was great. I'll tell you what though, it's not a holiday for the parents, is it? I'm absolutely exhausted. I told you I was drained. It's go, what though, it's not a holiday for the parents, is it? I'm absolutely exhausted. I told you I was drained.

It's go, go, go. I needed a holiday for the holiday. You need a holiday to get over the holiday. Cause it's nonstop. It was a lot. Did you go to Longleat too? He went to Longleat. Yes.

No, he did go to the Safari Park, sorry. He went to Longleat Center Park. No, yeah, the Longleat Center Park, sorry. Safari I did try, it wasn't open in March. So we'll have to go back there cause I feel like Joseph would love that. But you're on the go, like you wake up, I mean, it's still obviously having terrible night's sleep,

then you wake up, it's an activity in the morning, it's lunch, nap, activity in the afternoon, dinner, bed, repeat. You did the five days too, didn't you? We did the five days as well, and it was, I have to say, it was really tiring. And like getting those little kids in and out swimming, I said to Stefan in the family changing room,

we're like that, tiny, all trying to move around, like not, let's say you fall off the changing table, Joseph's like shouting, trying to stand him on the bench, but be like, don't put your feet on the floor, everyone's wet, everyone's hot, sweaty, coats everywhere, just absolute chaos. And I was like, with swimming, is the juice worth the squeeze?

Do you know what I mean? It's not worth the effort. And then after an hour, they're cold, you've got to get out and do it all again. Yeah, wild, isn't it? It's full on. Did you do the quiz? We didn't make it in time for the quiz because it's the first night isn't it? Yeah. I thought it was every night. Oh I thought we just missed it but to be honest it's in the evening. Yeah it is. That's post bedtime anyway. Yeah. But no it was really good and what I really

enjoyed this year was being able to do the things I couldn't do when I was pregnant so I went down the rapids obviously hired a bike this year which was was really fun. We saw Stefan's bootie all around. And Joseph actually loved the trailer this year. He loved going in it. And what was hilarious, I never know with him, like what he's going to be up for and what he's not. It's very like, there's no consistency. So I thought he didn't really like going in the trailer last year, probably won't get him to put his helmet on this year. Helmet on, get me in the trailer. So much so that he wanted to wear his helmet all the time.

Even when he wasn't in the trailer. So like back in the house, he'd leave the helmet on. We did a round of crazy golf, helmet on. Oh, what a guy. I'm going to wear my helmet. That's actually pretty sensible. That's actually pretty sensible. Cause if any balls, flying balls.

Yeah. So he was really into the crazy golf, which again, I wouldn't have expected from him. He was running around on the sand, like picking up sand with his hands and like going on the beach, which he's previously been terrified of. Hates the sand. Hates the sand, won't go on the beach on holiday. Wow. So his girlfriend were a bit like, is this our child?

Is this child? Oh, he must have just felt so safe and free. Yeah. And I think like seeing the other kids, because our friends kids were there as well. So seeing them doing stuff kind of gives him a bit of confidence. But yeah, it was really, really nice to see that he had developed since last year, not so much in the pool. Oh, he just wasn't a fan of the pool. Still didn't want to go swimming. You were hoping for that though, weren't you? Well, when he was two last year, we were like, do you know what? Next year when he's three,

this is going to be the perfect day. She's going to love it. Yeah. I wouldn't say he loved it. No. He first went in the pirate ship bucket that fills up and fills up and then tips. Yeah, that's a lot. I stupidly, we were accidentally standing next to it when it tipped and I was like, that literally couldn't have gone worse. When I tell you, he screamed, he ran so far away,

I lost sight of him. He was running from the pool and I was going like, slow down, is it really slippery? I was like, oh, he's gonna fall and hit his head but also I don't wanna run and chase you because then I might fall. And Steph, he ran past Steph and I went, what's going on with him?

I said, pirate bucket nearly tipped on his head and now that's done us back like a million steps. I know. But I will tell you by the end, by the last day, I could not believe it. He was going down the slides on his own. Stop it. And even a tunnel, like an enclosed slide,

which I don't even like going around. I hate enclosed slides. You know the little baby one, the green one. He just sat down and I thought he's gonna back out of it. And even a tunnel, like an enclosed slide, which I don't even like going down. I hate enclosed slides. You know, the little baby one, the green one. Yeah. He just sat down and I thought he's gonna back out of it. So I was like, don't say anything, don't say anything, just see whether he does it. He went down it on his own.

What? I couldn't believe it. Wiped the water out of his eyes at the bottom, just got up and carried on. Oh, stop it. And I was like, what, this kid. Did you cry? I didn't cry, but I was just like,

thank fuck, he's actually enjoying stuff. Like, cause normally you can't force him to do stuff like that. He's got to do it on his own terms. He just has to do it on his own terms. Yeah. And he's just gotta be patient, you know? Oh, I love that.

But I thought that was such a big achievement for him. That's massive. That's so huge. And then annoyingly, they had to leave the next day. So we couldn't really like build on it. His confidence back on that. Oh well, have to go back. Next year, when he's four, it'll be perfect.

He'll love it, I swear. back next year when he's four. It'll be perfect. He'll love it. I swear. But Sadie is great. Like she's so easy. She's, you know, in the pool and just absolutely loving life. It's great. She's cruising along, holding onto the little step, doing her little steps. Joseph had his first McDonald's, which I thought you'd be thrilled with. What the hell? This, I can't even take this in. I've got so much to tell you. So much happened. We've had two weeks, we've had two weeks apart from each other and I feel like we've got so much to say. What the fuck? I thought you'd be thrilled with that and Stefan was buzzing.

That makes it sound like all I do is give my children McDonald's. I mean, I do. Yeah, you do love it. I mean, I do love it as well, but yeah, stopped at the services. He had a happy meal, which Stefan was really happy about. Chicken nuggets, fish fingers. Chicken nuggets, chips and a juice. Did he eat a lot?

Yeah, he loves it. I mean, obviously it's like tasty. Tasty as fuck. Yeah, and Sadie has the odd little chip. Little chip, little french fry here and there. Renas loves a chip. He does love a nugget. Yeah, oh yeah.

And do you know what's even great now is I just buy a box of 20 nuggets because Dots and Coles don't eat the chips. Just a couple of nugs. So just 20 nuggets and they just all sit around. We had a little picnic at the weekend, they just sat around eating nugs. Renice loves it.

No one says no to an extra nug with their McDonald's. No one says no. Pop a couple in along with your burger. They're just one bite big. Get a straight and ranch. Honestly, other huge development, except in a big boy bed. What the fucking nor are you doing to me today?

My world's been turned upside down. I know, honestly, so much has gone on. So much has happened. I feel like I could talk for the whole two hours. Buckling guys. Buckle up. This episode is actually two hours this week. It's all about me. Wow. Yeah. He hilariously. We're in our little chalet settling in center parks. We set up both the travel carts because that's how they would normally sleep. And I could just hear Joseph going, come in here, mommy, daddy, come in here. the travel carts because that's how they would normally sleep. And I could just hear Joseph going, come in here, mommy, daddy, come in here.

I was like, what's he doing? He walked in and he just like tucked himself up to the neck in the big bed with the quill on him. And I was like, okay, do you wanna sleep in there tonight? And he was like, yeah. And I was thinking, this is gonna go terribly. I'm not up for this. He's just gonna keep getting out.

Slept in there the whole time, absolutely fine. I don't think he knows he can get out. So he was fine. I know. And in the morning, what happened in the morning? Did he get himself out or did he just wait for you? He just shouts for us. One morning I did ignore him because I thought he's fine.

And I did ignore him for so long that he did just appear at my door. And I thought, oh, you've worked it out now. You know how to get out. Shit, I fucked myself there. So he did do the whole five days in the bed. He did the whole five days in the bed. And then we went onto Stefan Stefan's parents house where we

had a little birthday party for Sadie, which was lovely. And there I set up the cot for him and he was like, they've got bunk beds. He was like, I want to sleep in the bunk bed and he slept in the bunk bed there. So that's a real milestone. If he thinks he's going in the bed at home though, he's got another thing coming. Oh, okay. I'm keeping him behind bars. You're going to keep him in the baby prison. He's in the cot bed.

I love it when they shake on that. He's in the cot bed for as long as possible. But yeah, huge. Wow. Huge, huge news. This is massive. I know. Oh, and then just one last thing before we get to your week.

Had an absolute nightmare journey from hell on the way back. Stefan had a dodgy tummy. Sadie did as well, I think. She kept doing huge pooey nappies. I was having to change on the passenger seat of the car. When we were stopped, might I add, in the service station. Stationary. Joseph then goes, I need I add, in the service station. You're not allowed to go. Joseph then goes, I need a poo, which is his new thing because...

He never tells you that he needs a poo. Well, and also, if he says it in the car, you're like, right, we've got to go, go, go now. Because if he needs a poo, he means he needs a poo. But sometimes it's a false alarm. And I'm like, it's going to be a bit of a pain because there's nowhere to really stop. Do you really, really need to go? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. Okay. We're like, pull up on the side of the road, put the travel potty down.

He doesn't need to go after all, but guess whose house we were outside? Oh, Jamie bloody thinks to him. Stop it. Comes out of his house. I was like, sorry about this, Jamie, but my toddler said he needed a poo. So here we are. And he come out of his house as well. He came out of his house. Yeah. Not to have a go. No, of course. To see what's coming out of his house. Sorry, can you move your kids? I'm having a poo. Do you mind? Sorry, Jamie. So yeah, it was quite the eventful weekend. Wow. You've really got down with the events. And then you wonder why I'm shattered.

You are shattered. I'm bloody exhausted. No wonder. But, you know, worth it. That's my week. Let's finally talk about you. You've got 30 seconds. Okay. I have had builders in renovating my house. Oh my God, yes. And that's it. It's been a while, two weeks. What are you doing?

I'm actually really sad today because today's the first day we've woken up and they're not at the house. Did you miss them? And because we've had them for like two weeks, solidly. What are their names? Mike and Brian. Oh, Mike and Brian.

Honestly, Mike and Brian. They are two. What a fair alleges. Just, and that's not even me blowing their trumpet. They are honestly the most sweetest, patient, thorough, hardworking. I'm honestly elated. What have they been doing for you?

We've had some fences replaced on the front drive because I asked my dad to do them and my dad was like, listen, this is out of my remit. You need someone professional in here to do. So they've replaced a fence panel, a fence, a fence panel, a whole fence between our house that hasn't been replaced for 10 years. And then we just added some fencing up the side of the house

just because we've got a bit of a tatty wall. So we thought, oh, we'll put a nice fence up, make it look lush. We've had a little side gate and then we've run the fence in the garden along the back wall. Oh, nice. So they've just been doing bits like that.

They've given the house a fresh lick of paint. Obviously now the sun's out and where we've been renovating last year, we've neglected the front and the back. So they scraped out the back of the garden with a digger and they've painted all the walls outside. They've touched up some bits inside, some bits that I just, I keep saying I'm gonna do.

And you never get around to. But yeah, today's the first day we've woken up and they're not there. So actually- You want to keep making up jobs for them to do. I know, I did say that. Oh, you guys need to come back. And then I said to him, he said,

we did the first week, second week. And then last Friday, he said to me, I've got Monday and Tuesday next week. I was like, well, I've got some more jobs for you. So they come in and they were like, we can't do any more because we've got to go and fit a kitchen. I was like, well, when that's done, if you can-

Come back. If you can come back. Oh, you've got no jobs, just come around for dinner. I know. Just come and hang out. Honestly, the most sweetest people. And, we've got no jobs, just come around for dinner. I know. Just come and hang out. Honestly, the most sweetest people. And then we had a revelation this week, which was all hands on deck.

Colby's decided he wants to go to the residential. Yeah. What is that then? That's like an overnight trip. Overnight is five days. It's Monday to Friday. Oh my God. I'm pooing my pants.

So you know when I said to you before that he, we got the letters to say, does he want to attend? He didn't want to go. No, he said to me, I don't want to go. Was that last year? No, it was a couple of weeks ago. And he said, I don't want to go. And I was like, Oh, that's absolutely fine. Don't worry about it. And understandable. He's only ever stayed away for two, three nights. I think he stayed at my brother's once. He stayed at my sister's and maybe my brother's twice and then my sister's, I don't know, but like two or three times. But not without family. No, no, not with anybody other than family. So when he said, I'm not going to do it, I

was like, oh, that's completely unstandard. I get it. Then we got a letter to say, there's a few spaces still available. Did he want to come? He changed his mind. Yeah. To which he said, I'm happy to go. I'm really excited to go. Like he was pumped. Like I really want to go. And then he was like, but what happens if I get kidnapped? Oh, okay. I never had that in my head. All I was worried about is one of you going to brush your teeth two times a day. Are you going to be able to wipe your bottom Yeah. And are you gonna go to sleep? Yeah. Just gonna rave all night? Then he just threw into the to the works? What if I get kidnapped? I think he'll be fine. I think he's gonna be fine. There'll be loads of teachers there. What's he staying

in? I think they're staying in like a big cabin and then cabin house. Do like activities and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. All throughout the day. Five days. That'll be good. But I did say to them, what happens if he does get really upset? Can he come home? How far away is it from your house? They take them really far away? I don't know, I haven't Googled it.

Maybe I should have checked that. Yeah, you could rescue him if you needed to. Yeah, well, it's close enough that we can drive, I think. Well, it is, so they're not leaving the country. They're going to Barcelona. Tell him where he's going, could be Australia, who knows. They're going to Barcelona on a coach. No, it is definitely close enough for not leaving the country. They're going to Barcelona. Don't even know where he's going, could be Australia. Who knows? They're going to Barcelona on a coach.

No, he is definitely close enough for us to go and pick him up. But what I hope is that they'll call me if he's really distressed. Five days is quite a long time. And I don't want him to cry himself to sleep because he misses us or he's scared. Oh God, I can't do it.

I can't do it. I'm not looking forward to these. But the good thing is, is that like, it will be so good for him. So good. And I think he'll love it. And it'll get so much do it. I'm not looking forward to these. But the good thing is, is that like, it will be so good for him. So good. And I think he'll love it. Yes. And it'll get so much from it.

You just kind of have to be like, yeah, okay. Yeah. Go and do it. And I'm not, obviously I don't ever want to show them any worry or any fear or scare, or them to feel scared. I don't want me being scared to then scare them. Yeah. So I was just like, oh, this is going to be amazing. He's like, what if I'm kidnapped?

I was like, no, you're going to be so safe. You won't be if I'm kidnapped? I was like, no, you're going to be so safe. You won't be, but in your head you're like, shit, what if you are actually? Good point. What happens in this case? Like, what are we going to do? Then there'll be nothing me and your dad can do to help you. But it does, there's a letter to say

that there's going to always be a leader with them and they're never to go off on their own or anything like that. But yeah, no, I think he's going to have the best time. My little heart just can't handle it. But I was also, because I haven't seen you, going to give you an update on the child that called Colby a fat ugly rat. So the next day, in the queue, because they have to queue outside of the classroom. And in the queue of the classroom in the morning, the child came up to Colby and apologized. So we'd obviously seen the teacher the night before told her. And then the next day, I don't know whether there is a breakfast club at school. So I don't know whether the lad was in the breakfast club and someone

maybe mentioned it. But Chris come out and I rung him and he was just like, Oh, just to let you know, they've they've like he's the child'sised to Colby in the queue this morning. So I was like, oh, right. Okay. Maybe something's already been said. And then when I picked Colby up in the evening, I was like, oh, what, what happened? Did anything, did you get pulled out of the classroom? Did anything get said today about the incident that happened?

He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. he said, sorry, I said, sorry. And I played with them all afternoon. Oh, I was like, right. Okay. I just make, did I imagine this? Did I just make this up? And to add more to this story, he has played with him all week. So they're friends? Do you know what, in a way- Were they friends? No, he's never played with him before. So in my head, I probably went very negatively in my head. So I straight away was like,

cause he's been playing with him now since the incident happened for what I haven't seen you, two weeks. And it's fine. Yeah, everything's fine. He's been playing with him every single day. And I said, in my head, I was just like, you are playing with him because you's been playing with him every single day. And I said in my head, I was like, you are playing with him because you want to play with him, not because he's maybe

saying that you have to play with him. I was trying to word it really, really correctly. And he was like, no, I actually think he's, he's really fun. I really love playing with him. Mom, he's really, he's really cool. I was like, what? What? What? 180? What? Like Jojo? What a 180. Yes. Complete flip on the head. So now they're absolutely fine in Dandy. Although I was hoping the school was going to come back to me to update on the situation. Nothing. And they've obviously saw them and saw them and thought, no, they're fine now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It, it has been, it has been resolved, but how crazy. And again, before I forget, we have another incident at school, headteachers called me while I was at an event. So I picked up my phone,

she was like, nothing to worry about. And I was like, you never call me. Instantly, I was worried. I was like, what? There was another incident where a child had been unkind to Colby, pushed him over. And in the whole midst of this, he went to the boy that called him the name. Sorry, they went to the boy, because Colby and this boy, well, the three of them were playing and Colby went to this boy.

Sorry, I can't say names. Should we name them? We'll call them Bill and Ben. So Ben was the original child that had called him the name. Bill was the lad who was. So the triangle was Colby, Bill and Ben. And this boy, Bill pushed Colby to which he fell onto the floor. And I think he was getting himself a little bit angry and upset with whatever ever had happened. So the teacher asked Ben, what happened? Did Colby say this? Because this is what Bill

is saying. And the boy that called him the name defended Colby. So they are real pals. They're real pals. How funny. But what an unfortunate situation to find yourself in two incidents. I did feel for him, bless his heart. Is he all right?

I just don't know whether it's this age and the boys have a lot of- How old are they, eight? Yeah, nearly nine. The boys are coming up, some of them are turning nine already, yeah. And I don't know whether there's a testosterone, do they have testosterone at this age?

I don't know. I know that my friend, it's a surge of hormones. My friend recently had a party for his six year old and he said, when all the boys turned up to the party, all these six year olds, they just had 10 minutes of like wrestling. Cause they just had to like get that out of their system.

They said for the rest of the party, they were fine. But that was like their greeting, they're like animals. They have to just be like, get it out. So maybe it's something like that. I wonder if it's just a peak of hormones. And it is a lot, it's hard, isn't it? Sometimes to control your emotions. But no, he's happy as Larry.

So I feel like, do you know what? I've got to give credit to the boy because I don't want to sit here and praise my children. But in that moment, I did think, God, what a lad. Like someone's called him a horrible name and he's just gone. They've come back from it. Said sorry. Yeah, not let it affect him, bother him.

It's kind of admirable that kids just move on from stuff, isn't it? And they're like, do you know what? There's no point in holding a grudge. Me and you actually get on. Let's just be friends. Why can't we just implement this in adult life? I know. I would have to blacklist him forever and be like, no, once you've wronged me.

That's me. That's it. You're out. You're out the door. There ain't no coming back from that. But we can't, we don't do that. Maybe we should learn a lesson from our little ones. Take a lesson from the children because that is admirable. Honestly, I just want to say to Chris, what a fucking lad. What an absolute G unit. G me. But that's my week really. If it's not an incident at school, I've been reno'd. Renovating.

I've been in the midst of the renovation. It's been a wild two weeks. But the house and what with the sun's out. Stunning. Chef's kiss. Little spring refresh. Oh, little spring reset. Refresh, reset.

Sure. Get me the sunshine now, I'm ready for my bikini. Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mom Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about, or just say hello.

You can find us on TikTok and Instagram, just search Secret Mom Pod, or you can email us hello hello at secretmumpod.com. ["Secret Mum Pod"] Before we get into the- Correspondence corner! We just want to admire the lovely artwork in the gallery. So behind you, you've got the...

Oh, I've actually got one from Colby in here. Yeah, the robot, right? Yeah. Is that a robot? Who's the tongue-licking one? I feel like that's Colby as well, Zofia. Yeah, Zofia's... Was that Colby as well? Yeah, the tongue, I don't know why it's got spots.

We've got the, yeah, is that... Spots on the tongue. Is that guy okay? I don't know. We've got the owl, of course, in the top right. We've got the artwork. The famous story the top right. We've got the artwork. The famous Starry Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh. Vincent van Gogh.

The Harry Potter. Harry Potter on your side. You've got the watermelon. You've got the inside out. I love watching the inside out with all the emotions. Yep. So good. And the mermaid of course.

The mermaid's stunning. It's beautiful isn't it? They're all so good. I love them all. And some of these are done by like six year olds. Which is crazy. I know. I can even draw something like that. Well, we'd love some more pieces to add to our collection. So please do send them in. Please. Because I love them. And you may think I'm joking, but generally I've really, really loved them. They brighten up our space. I just love them so much. And I'm

so grateful that you send them in. I still can't get over that watermelon. It's wild, isn't it? It's so good. Look at it. It's like it's been done on a computer. Looks like you just pick it out of the paper and you know. That's the first question, isn't it?

Right. Are you ready? Yeah. Let's hear the first letter. All right. This one says, Hi, Sophie and Emma, I just listened to the big unclogging episode where you were discussing unplanned pregnancies and I've got a whopper. Shit.

My husband had a vasectomy when he was 18 due to a bad motorcycle accident. God bless him. When I met him in his 30s, I knew that if we got married, we wouldn't have children. I was okay with that. I dreamt of spending my life with just the two of us. Well, in 1993, my period stopped and my boobs were hurting.

I thought, this is strange. I waited five months before seeing a doctor who asked if I could be pregnant. I laughed and explained about the vasectomy. He tested me anyway and surprise, I was five months pregnant. What? To say we were in shock was an understatement.

The doctor explained the odds of me getting pregnant were a million to one. Our son Thomas was born healthy and happy. He's now 31 and married. Sadly, my husband passed away six years ago. Oh, but we had a wonderful 30 years together. Love you both. Keep up the great podcast and from Alberta, Canada. And that was full of twists and turns that I wasn't expecting. Oh, I'm so incredibly sorry. That's like the most incredible story.

Incredible story with the saddest ending. Oh, but I know. But she's got her son now, which she never thought she was going to have. It's a lovely story. Oh my gosh. That's such a lovely story. To think you married him and you accepted the fact that you'd never have children and you'd always have him. Because you just loved each other. That's why just me like there's things

that are meant to happen in the world aren't they? Meant to be. I don't know you know if you believe or you don't believe but whether there is someone up there that is par then our way that just says you need this boy. These things happen for a reason. Oh gosh what a a beautiful story. Sorry, I don't mean to cry. And now you've got, I think that's such a lovely thing about having children. This is a really morbid thought, but I do think like if something happened to Stefan, that I've got the kids as like a constant reminder of him. I mean, Sadie, absolutely. She's absolutely spitting image of Stefan. She is, is double, isn't she? Oh my gosh. What a lovely story. That is so beautiful. And thank you so much. And I really hope you're doing well and you're

doing okay. And what did she say? Thomas? Thomas. Yeah. And he's married. Yeah. He's married now and he's 31. Gosh. Gosh. So incredible. I love that. Thank you. Thank you. And so much. I don't know if I've said this before, but Stefan's mom thought she was had like was on contraception. She had a coil and then she got pregnant with Stefan. You've never told me that. I've never told you that. That's like my nan thought she was on contraception, she had a coil and then she got pregnant with Stefan. You've never told me that. I've never told you that. That's like my nan thought she was going through the menopause at 55 and had me mum. Pregnant with your mum.

Crazy. It's crazy. That's what I mean. These things happen for a reason. I truly believe what's to be is to be. So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah, it can be serious or silly and you can be totally anonymous. Because between us, we've probably heard it all before. And remember, we're all in this together and we know that we

are, we're all stars and we see that. Right. Are you ready for my secret of the week? Absolutely. Okay. So following on from the renovation. Yeah. Mike and Brian. Yep. Smoke. Right. Okay. I will tell you, my guilty pleasure is I love the smell of cigarettes. I don't know what it is. Ex-smoker, yeah. Yeah, but obviously years ago now, but when I smell a cigarette in the air, I'm like.

When you're walking behind someone in the street, do you try and walk it into your nostrils? I feel like there's, correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like there's two types. You either are an ex-smoker and hate the smell of smoke or you're an ex-smoker that loves it. And I am, I must admit it's a tinge with nostalgia. Nostalgia for me because obviously all my grandparents used to smoke back in the day. Same as mine. But then that was our era. I feel like we grew up around a lot of people

smoking around us. And I say to the, I said to the children the other day, cause we were in the bedroom and I had the window open and they were out on the front drive and a waft come in and Colby was like, Oh, what's that smell? And I was like, that's the smell of a cigarette, but let me tell you, it doesn't taste like it smells. But I basically they've, I've put a little pot out for them to put their cigarette butts in. Yeah. So in the garden, they also had like a little tub or an area that they could put the cigarette butts in. I thought, oh, when they're done, I'll just pop them into the bin, get rid of them. So Dottie come in from the garden the

other night and she just went, um, what are all these fag butts doing? I was like, oh, they're Mike and Brian's. Mommy's just put them there so that I can pop them into the bin when they're all finished. And she was like, oh, okay, not to worry. So she poodled back out to the garden. Didn't think nothing of it. Saw her sort of like doing this over the fence. And I just thought, oh no, nevermind. About 20 minutes later, she come flying through the floor and she was like, have no fear, Dotty is here. I've sorted it. And I was like, have no fear, Dottie is here. I've sorted it. And I was like, all right, okay.

And then I thought, oh, they must be playing a game in the garden. She went in, washed her hands. And I thought, why is she washing her hands? She come out and I said, why are you washing your hands? What's happened? Thinking maybe she had poo on them because she's been in the garden

but she doesn't like to talk about poo. So I thought she was avoiding it. She had been stood for 20 minutes individually chucking the cigarette butts into the neighbor's garden. One, two, and she was like, don't worry. I sorted it. I put them over the neighbor's fence. I had to get into the garden and pick all the cigarette butts from the neighbor's garden. This is your neighbor that you're not friends with?

Not that we're not friends, but we... You don't really... Yeah. I don't think he really likes me too. He's not going to like you even more now. Well, I rooted through that garden. I will say though, I did knock the door and I knocked the door so many times, but I just imagine...

How did you get to his garden? Just break in? Because we do have... No, where we've put a fence down there, there is a gap at the bottom. I didn't know what in the moment to do. I was like, do I deal with being reported for being in the garden and picking the cigarette butts up? I took the risk. Yeah, report me. But I didn't want to leave cigarette butts in their garden. No, fair enough. I don't think they would have been very happy about that. Because there's loads of cats that go in the garden. There aren't their cats, but the

neighbor's cats, like the grass is really long. So the cats like to go in it. So I played this whole game with myself. Do I get reported and go in their garden and pick all the cigarette butts up? Yes. Or do I just leave them? No, I wouldn't have slept. So Dotty was like, what are you doing? I was like, oh yeah, we can't really leave them. Thanks for your help. Also, now I'm going to have to undo all of that work. Thank you so much. So I did, I took the risk and I just put a note through the door and I said, I am incredibly sorry. Oh, you owned up to it?

Yeah, I told the neighbor because I didn't want to be trespassing. It's trespassing. Yeah, but you were doing something nice. Yeah, but she might report me and be like, fucking stupid woman. Also now everyone's got a ring doorbell and cameras, you never know. They might have rifled through their footage to go, what's she doing in our garden? I just popped a note through the door. She's going to come back because sometimes she's there and then sometimes she goes away and stays with her partner or they're both at the house. But she, I've had to put a note through the

door to say that we were replacing the fence on her side because the boundary is hers. It's such a long winded story, isn't it? Oh yeah. And then I've got these two guys called Mike and Brian doing the fence. Yeah, I took all the smoke. So I had all the cigarette butts in a pot, but then I told my daughter about it and then she thought she'd deal with it for me. So she threw them over.

Then I had to come in. I love a long story. It's an essay. A short story, but I basically had to put a note through her door to say that we were replacing the fence at no cost to her, but for it to be for the both of us. I then put a note through the door about something else. And then I had to put a note through the door for the cigarette butt. So when she returns, everything's going to be done and she's going to be like, what

the fuck? She also might read them in the wrong order and be like, this makes no sense. Yeah. Oh God. So it's been, when I tell you, it's been a wild week. It's been, I think I just over, I over worry about things to be honest, but yeah, dot strikes again. Gosh. She had no, no understanding of, and bless her out, her fingers smell of smoke. Oh God. Oh, but there we go. That's my secret. So after this short break, we're going to be discussing some of yours. We've got three secrets we're going to be discussing this week, so Emma, take it away

with number one. Alright, this one says, Hi Soph and Emma, I have a story about my son's first sibling photograph day at nursery. Since my daughter is only a year old and isn't at nursery yet, they do sibling photos in the morning with the older child in their uniform. Yes they do, you've got to get ready for this. I didn't know this was a thing. It's very adorable. I hope they do this at my nursery. I was really looking forward to it as my daughter is usually very photogenic and my three-year-old son loves being in front of the camera. When we got there I noticed they were using a tiny little stool for the photos. I somehow had to wedge my one-year-old on the edge of the stool with my son's arms around her to stop

her falling. Safe to say, she was not pleased. She cried and wriggled to get down the entire time. The photos they captured were hilarious and definitely ones to share when she's older. It's included. I just hope she isn't too traumatized by the experience when it comes to her first school photos. Love to you both. Alex. Okay. You ready? Shall I scroll down on mine? Oh, bless it. Your son's doing so... What a professional. He's just got a smile plastered on his face, your daughter, not so much. She looks like she doesn't know whether she wants to cry or be angry. He just looks so adorable. Like I'm doing a really good job.

He obviously can't see her face. So he's like, this is going great guys. Do you know what? Right. Once I went to do the nursery photos and they come home to me and Dottie was laid on the floor with her hands under her chin and then Colby was sat on her back and I was just like, who got them in that position? This is the wildest fair issue I've ever seen. Yeah and then you just straddle her back, sit down, yep, that's it, perfect, got the shot, off you go. When it come home, I was like, and Dottie was like, look, I love this one. Yeah, put it on the wall.

We can't get that one, that one is so bad. Oh gosh, I feel like this is such a thing though. This must be a thing that happens. It definitely does. My mom and dad once got a photographer around the house to do like, this was a thing in the nineties, I think to do like a family portrait kind of thing in a white top and denim. We were wearing like nice summer dresses actually.

Oh, lovely. And it was my mom, my dad wasn't there for some reason, I think it's my mom and me and my sisters and they bought the pictures which are now up in like everyone's house, with grandparents house and everything. And it's just me with a face like absolute thunder. Cause I was like, I don't want to have my picture taken today. at my grandparents' house and everything. And it's just me with a face like absolute thunder. Cause I was like, I don't wanna have my picture taken today. I just decided that that day,

I wasn't gonna smile for the camera. And you better believe if a photographer says to me, put a smile on, I'm more likely to be like, fuck you. Fuck you, I'm not feeling this today. So my mom and dad paid this photographer to come. Pictures have gone down in history. Cause I just look like absolute- Couldn't be fucked up either. Mischievous bitch. Oh, God bless your because I just look like absolute miserable bitch.

Oh, God bless your heart. I feel like everyone has this. Let me wonder where Joseph gets it from. Oh, thank you Alex. Oh, thank you Alex so much. That is one for the memory books. Still, she'd still look so beautiful though, doesn't she? She's got a little flowery dress on. Too much. Okay, let's roll into secret number two. All right. It says, hi, Soph and Emma. I wanted to share something I've been struggling with, but I haven't really admitted out loud.

A year ago, my husband and I made the decision to relocate our family to another city. We mostly moved for my husband's job, but the new area offered more space, better schools, and a quieter lifestyle. But now I'm filled with regret. My eldest, who's 12, has been finding it really hard to settle in.

She went from being a bubbly, confident girl with loads of friends to dreading school every day. She's been struggling to make new friends and I can see how lonely and anxious she's become. It breaks my heart. She keeps asking when we can move back home and I feel so guilty for uprooting her. I try to put on a brave face and tell her it will get better but secretly I'm not so sure. I've even started looking at houses back in our old town but I'm terrified we've made such a big mistake and I don't know how to fix it. Thanks for giving me a safe space to share this. It feels good to get it off my chest. Love and all of us." Oh, gosh. This is really tough. This is really heartbreaking. And again, if anybody's listening and has been through this or experienced it, then obviously we welcome advice with open hands because we love to pass it on.

But how, do you know, this is my biggest fear. Like I would love to uproot and move to another country, but I get so, so worried. About how the kids would be. Do you think in time she would settle in? She said it's been about a year, is it? If it was me and I was in anonymous' situation, I would do exactly the same.

I'd be moving myself back. You'd be looking back. Yeah, I would. But then would you enroll them back into the same school? I don't know, because that's gonna be hard as well. They've missed a year. I mean, she must still have friends back in their old town where they lived.

I think that's a really hard age to do it, isn't it? Like I haven't experienced this, but obviously we've spoke about me and Stefan planning to move back to Wales. And similar thing, like when I was reading that, I was like, oh, this really resonates. Actually, it's all exactly the same stuff. Like it gives us, you know, access to better schools. We'll have more space. It's good for Stefan's job and it'll be a quieter lifestyle. Like that's all the things that we're looking at moving out of London for, but our children will be so little

that they probably won't really remember their life. But I know as much as it may be hard right now when she's grown up. It might be better. I guess you have to weigh up the pros and cons, don't you? But I've given it a year, It's quite a long time. I completely sympathize with this because I would be exactly the same. I think I would panic. And the fact that you've seen her go from being this bubbly, confident young woman with loads of friends and now dreads going to school. That's the worst thing for me is when they dread going to school. Cause that's every day, isn't it? Colby even says now every single day, am I going to be sick today? Am I going to be sick today?

Am I going to be sick at school? And I always know when he's having a little bit of a tough time at school or he's struggling with something is because he goes into himself and he struggles to go away from us in the playground or go, you know, get in the queue to go into class. So I feel this with my whole heart. Have you spoken to your husband about it?

Yeah, about moving back potentially. Have you had an open and honest conversation? And also what are you moving back to? Like, you know, I think you used to do a list of pros and cons. Again, is there other siblings in this that if the others- And how are they getting on? Yeah, yeah. I don't know, I guess it's really hard when you're in it,

but like you're right, you've got to think in the long run, like will they thank you for like, you know, living in a bigger house, living in a quieter place, which might be nicer for them. Like, I don't know, can your husband still work back in the place where you used to live? Like, can you work there? You've just got to.

You have to, I would say, definitely have to write it all down. I think consider it, because if it's really, you know, that's such an impact on your life when they don't want to go to school every day. That's a real struggle. Because she would have also as well, she would have started secondary school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she's not only gone and secondary school is a big step. Yeah. Big, big step.

And you're starting a school in a new, not only secondary school, but in a new town. And can I ask, I don't know if it's the wrong thing to ask, have you spoken to your daughter about it? Spoken to her about how she's feeling and told her the reasons as to why you moved. I know that's probably a silly question because you probably have, but maybe giving her the option as to, shall we see it out? Should we see how it goes? Or obviously she's saying that she keeps telling her that it's gonna get better. And she keeps asking when we're gonna move back home.

I wonder if sitting down and like having a really, really big conversation. Yeah, yeah. And maybe like put a time on it, be like, look, let's give it another year. I know that seems like a long time, but hopefully things will get better in that time. And then she might look at it and go... But keep her in the loop on it.

Yeah. And give her the... Involve her. I don't really know if a 12 year old like, it's a funny age where like they understand enough, but probably not mature enough to understand it fully. It's hard because I've got my niece who's going to be 12 in July. And I think you'd be surprised as to how much they do get it. They're really, really clued on.

Yeah. Well, my nephew's 13 and my niece is 11. So they're going to be 12 and 14 this year. If I was to put myself in my sister's position and move her children, do I think they would cope? Yes, but I think they do okay, but you just never know. You never know. I think it depends on the child.

Like I know people who have done it. I know people that moved to Australia with teenage daughters and they settled in great and like they love their life out there now, but they took them out of school where they already had their friends and they were settled in the UK. You just never know how it's gonna go. And I do think though with moving back,

moving house isn't a small thing. It's one of the most stressful things you can do. Do you wanna do all that again just a year later? Because that's a lot to put the rest of the family through. But you'll do anything, won't you, for your children? Yeah, I wanna know how the rest of the family are getting on maybe. Because she does say my eldest,

so there must be siblings as well. Yeah, there must be siblings. So we would love, obviously without giving us too much information, but I would love to know how the other children are doing, how your husband's doing. Have you spoken to him and had an honest conversation with him?

What about the work situation? Obviously you don't have to tell us that. But we would obviously love to chat about it and see if that we can help in any way to give you some advice. If there's, like I said, if there's anybody going through this that we can pass some advice on to. I feel like we haven't been very helpful in this.

Well, cause we haven't lived it, I suppose. But I feel like sometimes saying it out loud or hearing it out loud, obviously, she may listen back to this and hear it out loud. It always relieves you a little bit, doesn't it? When you've spoken about it and got it off your chest. Yeah, just to know that you're not, you feel seen and heard.

Yeah, definitely. But yeah, maybe just- That's a tough one. Give it a bit more time and yeah, chat to her openly about it. But I don't think you wanna be rushing back into a house move a year later. I think what you're doing is right

because I think in the long run, it is gonna be beneficial. There was a reason you did it in the first place. Yeah, and I definitely think there's a reason why you did it. So it's worth giving it time, but it's obviously hard. As adults, we can do that. We can process that. But it is hard when you are a preteen.

There's a lot going on in their little minds as is. But I think you're doing a fantastic job. Yeah, I mean, the fact that like, we always say this, the fact that you're even considering it means that you're, you know. Yeah, and the fact that you did move and you had all of the consideration of everybody else at the forefront of your mind,

it's hard when it doesn't go as planned, isn't it? But we appreciate you, Thank you so much. And we're sending you all of our love. Yeah, I hope everything's okay for her. Yeah, me too. Right, let's have the last secret, shall we? This says, good day ladies from sunny Australia. Good day.

After listening to you talk about Renly eating dog poo, I had to write in as I recently experienced something similar. We were at my parents' house and I knew one of my twins had done a poo but I didn't have time to change him just yet and they were busy snacking and playing in nappies and PJ tops. After telling one to stop trying to get food out of his brother's mouth, I removed him from the situation. I turned back to his brother who had something in his hand

and had taken a bite. It looked suspicious so I took it from him and he spat it out. No, no, no, no. Yeah, it was poo. Oh, fuck! What? I searched high and low for the residue of this poo He looked suspicious so I took it from him and he spat it out. No, no, no, no. Yeah. It was poo. Oh, fuck! What?

I searched high and low for the residue of this poo thinking it was my dog's doing. It was only later that I realized it wasn't a dog poo. It was baby poo that had fallen out of the nappy. Thankfully he didn't eat it, but still it was absolutely horrifying. Kelsey from Melbourne, Australia. Was it his only egg twin brother's? It was his only egg twin's poo. Well, his his brothers is just as bad as each other, I think. What if his poo just come out of the nap and he thought, oh, get that in.

That is a lot, isn't it? But you know what I love about this? The twin was trying to get the poo out of his brother's mouth, wasn't it? Did she say, I was trying to get food out of his brother's mouth. I thought he was trying to save him from the poo. That's really sweet of the twins. Maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was trying to...

You thought it was food and it wasn't. It was poo. So maybe the brother was like, get that shit out of your mouth. He was trying to say, hey bro, you don't want to be eating that. That's my poo. That's my poo. Give that back to me. I birthed that.

I pooped that out. That's mine. So maybe it wasn't food. Maybe it was poo. Yeah, that that. I pooped that out. That's mine. So maybe it wasn't food. Maybe it was poo. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. And Kelsey, he was just being from one brother to another. Exactly. It's actually quite a sweet tale of twins.

Yeah. If you look at this, step back and actually look at the bigger picture. What thoughtful little boys, even if they were eating poo, well only one of them eating shit. What a team. Oh, it's nightmare. Listen, I'll poo it out, you eat it. I don't know which end I want to be on. I've got you, bruv. I've got you. Got you.

You poo it, I'll eat it. No, I'll poo it, you eat it. Would you rather eat your twin's poo or your own? I don't think I'd want to eat Richie's poo. Yours then? You've got to choose one, it's would you rather. I'd rather eat my own poo. Yeah. Would you eat your own poo?

I think so, more than my sister's, yeah. Yeah. She's very clean eating though, so it might be alright. Yeah, it might just be full of protein. Anywho! Thank you Kelsey. Hope you're well Kelsey, thank you so much. So thank you for sharing your secrets this week.

Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. And if you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can. The email is hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. Has your little one munched on something they shouldn't have? Or has your picture day captured a timeless moment? Let us know, there really is nothing too outrageous.

Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the... Secret Mum Club!