Segments - 06: Fake Ads

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

In this episode we discuss riddles, houses, and doggies.Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet

set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. Hello, if you're listening to this podcast before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star. There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah. Because you're nervous, you're skittish, you're stuttering right now. I'm a little frightened. So I don't want you in this ad

at all. I don't want to be steamrolled, but I want the live live. So no, I won't be recording one. In fact, for you asking that, I'm going to keep this part in. Don't. This part is now. Edit this part out, but let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part out. You will absolutely edit this part out. Tell you what, I'm going to say my fucking social security number, so you have to edit it out, okay?

Let's hear it. 0913662. Now you have to edit it out. Keeping it in, but we'll see you guys there. No, no, no, no, no. too. Now you have to edit it out. But we'll see you guys there. Won't last its effort to try and stop their career from going to shit. Second. Another podcast. Second.

Each app different from the last. Second. It's the Swiss Army Nightclub Show. Now let's meet your two pathetic hosts. Second. Pathetic hosts. Psychics. Let's get started. I'm Jake Curwitz. You've been watching a lot of Andrew Tate videos. Who is that?

He's the bald guy that always has really serious interviews and dialogues. I don't actually understand why you say that because to be a man, you need to be able to eat your weight in protein. Men do not attend festivals. That's awesome. That's a good impression. You should use that next time we do the impression segment.

There's a reason that men do not throw dinner parties. It's because it's a sign of a weakness i'm in prison where's the bathroom i actually have to urinate now um it's cold in new york what's going on there i'm seeing a turtleneck i'm seeing a beanie i'm seeing a fleece on the turtleneck it is freezing here yes this morning was well it's not that cold like i feel like later in the winter when it's 30 degrees i'm going to be like oh that's not too bad today was the first you know sub 32 degree day so even

though it's sunny it was 30 out this i think it was 30 this morning when i woke up maybe it got up to 37 but it's chilly. Sounds like, sounds like something I'd complain about as a delicate Southern California flower. It's cold. It's cold. Tell you what. I wish I were wearing my long johns, but I got some wool socks on. I got the beanie.

I got the turtleneck. Things were okay. Well, you can't go, you can't go all in on day one when it's 38 degrees out. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still wearing New new balance i'm not wearing boots have you done your sauna in the freezing cold like where you emerge and it's just steam coming out of your body yeah i did it two days ago uh yeah it's i mean it's extra great in the winter it's incredible the other night it was like going in freezing yeah it was like um it was like a misty 40 degree night with like a little bit of spitting rain.

And I went in. Just awesome. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably why it was invented by the Norwegians to do peak high gi middle of winter. You're entering and it's negative 28. Yeah. That's either a lot better or a lot worse for your body.

Right. Yeah. I think that's why they invented it for nights like last night. And in terms of the cold plunge, are you still doing that outdoors? I'm still considering the cold plunge. I'm not doing the cold plunge outdoors. I did a cold plunge. I did plunge a week ago, maybe a week and a half ago.

But it was at a hotel when I was traveling for NADPOD. There was a cold plunge at the hotel. I am considering trying to install a cold plunge in my backyard. It's a lot. It's like when I wanted to want an iPad. Yeah. You're still not fully wanting one, but you are considering to try to want one. I'm considering wanting one.

I think I want one, but I'm considering undertaking the actual process of doing it, which is not, you know, then there's, you have like a huge thing you have to install you have to build something you have to hire a guy to help and then right now the sauna is kind of like the max footprint i want in my house because like you know i'll come out of it and i'm super sweaty and just standing in my kitchen i have to to go upstairs and shower. But imagine now where I'm super sweaty, also freezing cold, soaking wet, needing to run inside. So it's, yeah, it's a lot to take on. At a certain point, just be comfortable with the temperature that you have. You're constantly trying to change from hot to cold to in the middle to in between. It's like enough already. Or just do a cold shower. You know, you could do that. You can in the middle to in between it's like enough already or just do a

cold shower you know you could do that you can do the sauna to the cold shower upstairs and that would be i mean i would never i would never do the cold shower i mean the cold shower is great the cold shower is uh lovely there's they say that you're supposed to end with a cold burst that sounds like really counterintuitive and backwards to me. 30 seconds at the end is not too long. And you can, you know, you just count down from 30 or count up to 30.

It's over before you know it. And then it's very invigorating. If you can't do a cold shower, then you're not actually a man. I do an entirely freezing. Yes, exactly. I do a freezing bath every morning. My dick shrivels up

to the size of an acorn. He kind of sounds like the Game Boy to me. Yeah, he does. Oh! The Game Boy is actually a huge Andrew Tate fan. Inspired by him. He got radicalized through a series of TikToks that he found during lockdown. And now he's all in on Tate's university.

Yeah. Game Boy is very problematic. Enough about us. Let's get into the actual meat of the episodes. We're talking segments. It's a podcast that's ever-changing, as the theme song says, the Swiss Army Knife of Shows. Last episode was the mystery guest episode.

People are loving it they absolutely adore the reveal yeah it was a very cute reveal um i felt really dumb i was afraid to ask the guest if we had hooked up because i thought that it might um you know not be couth to say but it really would have helped yeah it would have helped steer you in a specific direction right yeah you still wouldn't have gotten there but it would have been interesting but then at least i could have correct yes like a rundown yeah everybody i'd ever hooked up with at work and then smash cut to reveal your daughter yeah not even not ever able to get to jill i run out of my 20 guesses fuck who could it be uh have you been thinking who you could

possibly get for mine if we should ever redo the segment yeah and i need to i think that i need to get someone that i feel a little uncomfortable texting because that's how you want to dig deep i want to dig very deep i want to dig dio okay do you remember dionys yeah dio who did the triathlon who inspired the triathlon episode of our jake and amir show that's right that's right that's who i want to get or amy or i could aim kai that's where i get kai singh yeah when they go low we go kai yeah that trisha della pizza oh wow i love trisha uh okay uh speaking of being stupid let's ask each other some riddles. Shout out to the Hey Riddle Riddle podcast that inspired this segment in which I found riddles for adults to test your logic. Okay.

Okay. Adult riddles. Hey Riddle Riddle, a riddle podcast on HeadGum that we're going to basically steal the idea of for this segment, which we're calling, I don't know, Hey Riddle, Riddle, Riddle. So a little more extra riddles. I found these on goodhousekeeping.com, of course. Shout out to Good Housekeeping. Another plug for goodhousekeeping.com. So if you can either go listen to Hey Riddle, Riddle,

or visit goodhousekeeping.com. Just for more, yeah. For more riddle action. Right. There's the first section is called easy riddles. Okay. And then the second section is called math riddles. So I think I should ask you the easy riddles.

And then I'll ask you the math. And then when we get to the math ones, you'll load it. All right. And of course, feel free to play along at home of course you're gonna want to play along actually these ones aren't even that easy um okay let's start with what five letter word typed in all caps can be read the same upside down fuck Fuck. Five letter word. All caps can be read upside down. Yeah.

Well, let's start with individual letters. Do you know, like some letters can be read upside down to other letters. Do you know what those letters could be? Um, I has to be great. Yeah.

There's an eye in here. And then I think that's it. Oh, X. Well, there. Okay. Yeah. X could, X could be in there though. There's an I in here. And then I think that's it. Oh, X. Well, there. Okay. Yeah. X could be in there, though it's not. And then you have to think of some letters that are like, this is one letter, but upside down is a different letter.

Right. But wait, did you say you can read it the same way? So, like, if there's an, if there's like, if the word is wow, then upside down to be mom. So, you couldn't be. But is that, you're saying that is, that's an example? I thought the word had wow, then upside down to be mom. So you couldn't be. But you're saying that's an example? I thought the word had to be the same. There is a – yeah. No, yeah.

It is the same word, and W and M do come into play. Huh? How is it the same word then? Because the W is second, and then the m is fourth so when you flip it upside down the w becomes the m on the fourth wow that's why it's a real confusing i wouldn't say this is an easy riddle at all yeah what about s is that same upside down and yeah yes. And you're pretty much almost there at this point. Okay. So you have all the letters. It's S, W, M, and I. Yes, very close. What letter could, what word could be made with those? Is O in there?

No, no, there's no O. There's no O. All right. You got all the letters. I got all the letters, S. Yeah, and you borderline almost said the word. Really? When i said wow no when you said sw i and s or something sw i swine swine swim cool yeah with an s at the end swims okay that's correct yeahims upside down is swims.

Oh, all right. Good. Because the S's stay the same, the I stays the same, and the W becomes an M. I feel like this really helped doing this with a keyboard directly in front of me. I wouldn't have known all of these letters. You needed to do a pen and paper too, but you don't have that. Right. All right.

Here's a more tricky, so thus easier one. Let's see if you can figure it out. David's father has three sons, Snap, Crackle, and Blank. David, what? Oh, David. David's father. Yeah. Yes, that's correct.

It's leading you to say Pop, but then you're like wait a minute david's father has three sons yeah david that's a good one that's a good one i should have started with that one that's fun that's like yeah where you bury the survivors one yeah there were no survivors exactly there's one that's more of a semantic whatever but what goes up but never comes down what goes up but never comes down yeah um it's that's you said it's a semantic one yeah because it's not necessarily an object. It's something else that goes up but never goes down. I see. I don't think of it as like a thing floating in space. Yeah.

So we're not talking about directions going up. Is it like spirits going up? It's closer to spirits, but not quite that. Think of it more numerically oh what goes up but never comes down is it is it um numerically i see um the population close it's age H goes up but never goes down. That's not really a riddle. This one is just true. What's full

of holes but still holds water? This one is very cut and dry. You're thinking of something that is full of holes but still holds a lot of water. The earth? I guess technically but this is not this is more of an object okay sponge yes very good thank you thank you a sponge is full of holes but

holds water sometimes riddles are just like interesting questions and sometimes they're dumb questions and sometimes yeah they're just and sometimes there's jokes. Oh, is this a joke? For example, how is Europe like a frying pan? How is Europe like a frying pan? Yeah, it's... Well, it's not flat. Okay, what else? What other properties does a frying pan have? It gets hot sometimes.

Okay, I'll give you a hint uh-huh because it has blank at the bottom because it has blank at the bottom at the bottom um okay at the so like we're talking at the bottom of europe or the bottom of the pan the bottom of europe that's the that's the joy of this joke slash riddle because it has blank at the bottom um italy close greece nice yes not my frying pan not my frying pan grease at the bottom yeah you gotta clean those things here's another one that's more of a sponge style where it's like yeah i guess that's true i never thought of it that way what's more useful when it's broken an egg that's correct all right you nailed that one all right let's end your chunk on a high note with the egg. So open this link and then give me the math riddles.

All right, let's see. Another one on this list that is a straight up 99 jokes about animals is what fish costs the most? A goldfish. Not true, but gold is expensive. Yeah. All right. I'm an odd number take away a letter oh interesting three okay okay say that again yeah take away a letter and i become sven a swedish name and i

become even what number am i oh yeah seven take away the s and it becomes even yeah that's good if two that was really good actually. Your brain is very quick. If two is company and three is a crowd, what are four and five? What is four? Yeah, four and five are the numbers after two and three. It's kind of close.

Or four and five are 45 basically. Nine. Four and five are nine. Yeah, I was gonna say. Also really good. I add five to nine and get two 14 oh wait say that again stop trying to get ahead of the riddle let me finish the entire thing because at the very least you're not letting anyone at home play you're not letting anyone at home play anymore

okay you're very smart you've got a bunch of riddles really fast let's let me read the whole question because that way someone at home can also enjoy it i add five to nine say what you really think i add five to nine and get two yeah two digits yeah the answer is correct what am i yes the answer is correct the answer is correct uh The answer is correct. Do you need me to repeat the question? You add five to nine and it makes two. Two digits, one and four, 14. The answer is correct.

Is that it or something like that? Or I don't know. If I don't get it, then the riddle's dumb. I'm reading it and I see the answer and I barely understand it. A clock. When it's 9 a.m., dumb. I'm reading it and I see the answer and I barely understand it. A clock. When it's 9 a.m., adding five hours would make it 2 p.m. That's good, actually. I didn't consider that. Okay.

You stumped me. You stumped me. Once, because you read it weird. Honestly, you read it weird. Rachel. Rachel goes to the supermarket and buys 10 tomatoes. Nine. Oh, I see.

What are you talking about? She goes at nine, but yeah. She buys 10 tomatoes. Unfortunately, on the way back home, all but nine get ruined. How many tomatoes are left in good condition? One. 10 minus nine equals one good tomato. Nice try, but that one was very easy you said the right

answer at first when you interrupted you said nine the the correct answer is nine all but nine get ruined semantics not so then i got it right did kind of. You got it right when you weren't listening. Okay. Give me another. What is three sevenths chicken, two thirds cat, and two fourths goat? Three sevenths chicken? Yeah.

Two thirds cat? Yeah. And what? Two fourths seventh chicken yeah two-thirds cat yeah and and what two-fourths goat oh i guess half uh it would yeah yeah uh a and t or something like that. Oh, interesting. Oh, like at is two-thirds of cat, and then a half of goat is the second half is at. And then chicken, three-sevenths, doesn't make sense at all. C-H-I-C-K-E-N. You are correct.

This is the right line of thinking. And three-sevenths chicken. Two-thirds. CHI. Yeah. Two-thirds. Then CA. Yeah. Oh, Chicago. Yes, correct. All right. Let's go to the end of these. These are terrible.

What's a single- single digit number with no value zero yeah that's not even a riddle and i'll tell you why because zero is nothing so it has no value yeah all right absolutely let's see i'm gonna go to funny riddles and see if you can get a funny one um who has married many women but was never married a priest i don't know what qualifies to make that funny um how can you hold your right hand but never in your left i got it right and you just didn't say anything. It was really good. You made fun of the writer but not necessarily the answer. They don't know what is a joke and what is a riddle. Let's try that again

and I said priest and you say amazing job. You got it correct. Correct. You also got Chicago correct once I walked you through it. Good stuff. If two snakes marry, what will their towels say his and hers

how did you get that one that's correct because it's the noise that a snake makes and so i thought how can that be on his and hers? Oh, his is already his. You read these riddles, man. Wait, but it's hers with multiple S's. No, you actually made it better. Yeah, I punched it up. Yeah, good job. That's all the riddles I care to read.

There were a lot, a lot more on good housekeeping. Namaste. Yeah. Namaste. Namaste. All right, we're back. Yeah. A lot of positive comments about the show. Some negative comments that I see are people not liking the interstitial insults.

Oh, interesting. What do you mean? I'm not saying that's widespread. I'm just saying I have seen some people say that they're kind of mean or that they don't necessarily like them. I don't know necessarily why. Interesting. It's just self-deprecating humor. We've always done that.

Yeah. Some people thought the theme song was a little too mean. Wow, that's funny funny i love them for that let's toss in some more interstitials that are nice to us and we'll just kind of mix and match so sometimes we'll that's good be praising ourselves and sometimes we'll uh make fun of ourselves that's good all right way to take the note okay we'll get ferris on the horn cool guys or whatever. Yeah. They're not that bad. Yeah. Okay. So what I've done is I've conceived,

well, actually I should give credit to my wife, Jillian, who was trying to do this long before we even had segments. She was trying to make some kind of like TV show format around Zillow, basically a game show that was sponsored by Zillow, where the contestant eventually at the end won a house based on all of their search criteria. Solid. Seems like a logistical nightmare. Yeah. I think that's a fun show to watch.

That's ultimately why she didn't do it. She was like, this is too hard um but anyway now i'm going to really dumb down her idea for our show i made yeah a um a random wheel uh i'll share it with you now so you watch um watch me spin this thing okay for those of you following along on youtube i'll help narrate uh Okay. For those of you following along on YouTube, I'll help narrate. I guess for those of you not, it says, Jake chooses bathrooms.

Yes. So Zillow has a lot of filters, you know? So I'm basically going to spin this wheel to decide who chooses what filters, amenities, bedrooms, price, all that stuff. I'm going to zoom out on the country because we're going to, I think,

zero in Game Boy style by the end on one house that will be our collective dream house. Okay. So let me load up Zillow and mirror. And this is in a private browser, so i can't see the zillow that is correct um zillow window right on you cannot so and this second wheel that just says choice one through seven that's just the default one that you haven't edited yet yeah that's like a sample wheel um that we just don't

know how to get rid of yeah exactly i just googled uh i didn't even know if i could actually do this so it's kind of interesting to see that i could make up my own uh my own custom wheel i feel like we can use it in the future um all right let me give this thing a click and see what choice so when it says jake chooses, what are you choosing there? How many bathrooms your house will have. Oh, look, Jake chooses square feet. And you're not saying what that is yet. No, we can say it out loud.

That's fine. Okay. All right. So I'm going to choose your square footage. That's a really bad choice to have because I'm going gonna make the maximum kind of small let's say got it so you're sort of working against me yeah exactly i if we were both just like choosing the coolest stuff i'd you know i'd make the minimum square footage

5 000 square feet but i'm gonna make it 12 50 a really really like um you know uh a really standard um amount of square feet but you you've already chosen the bathrooms too so like no no that was just a sample i haven't i haven't chosen the bathrooms yet so don't worry okay that was a sample roll i didn't allow that to count okay uh all right so now we're playing for real jake is choosing the square footage i chose 1250 yeah not that big oh it's me choosing but not that small either yeah it's a little i believe it's a little bigger than your current house why is there confetti after every time that it chooses one it's so celebrating yep oh jake chooses you're built that's fun um you can do that in zillow is choose what year

the house was built yeah uh and let's wow i don't want you to have a very modern house and actually this is good they didn't build them very large in the 1800s. So we'll say 1865. And this is anywhere in America because that predates California. Not all of California. Let me see if there's 1865 houses in California. I'll scoot over. I would think not. There are? Yeah.

Absolutely, there are. Okay. We can keep it in California for a while if you like. All right, let's give this thing another spin live in a place that was built for gold miners so this thing it does seem to like to spin the same repeat a lot in a row yeah yeah we didn't consider that and oh there we go wow you're gonna choose the amount of bedrooms okay I'm going to choose the bedrooms. Okay, for 1,200 square feet, I would rather have like sizable rooms

rather than like three bedrooms. So give me two bedrooms. That's nice. For a 1,250 square foot house. That's great. Good thinking. It looks like you have some options in California still. Actually, a lot of options.

That's great. Let's spin this again. I imagine it'll be, oh, Jake chooses an amenity. An amenity. Yes. So the amenities. What's an example of an amenity you can search for as a filter?

Must have AC, must have pool, or waterfront. What about must love dogs? I could not choose that because there's not really a right in your own option i'll say okay i think waterfront makes it kind of interesting because then you can see the water from where the front is and then you are actually in kind of a dream house and i'm we're we're with with that amenity i feel like I have just unlocked the promise of this game because now we're looking at some really beautiful houses. Is there a world where you or I purchase this home and live there together?

If this were the actual game show, Zillow eventually, it's like who wants to be a millionaire, but instead of giving you a million dollars, they just give you a house. A house. I wonder how the taxes works on that amir chooses an amenity i've already you've already chosen waterfront that sounds great to me but yeah i guess air conditioner if you're going to talk about living in california that's kind of necessary that's that's okay and now we are really we are getting to not a lot of houses

there are nine houses in cal in California right now for you. Wow. Are they more Northern California? There is one in Los Angeles. Oh, that was built in 1860 something. Wow. But the other ones, yes, mostly built in Northern California. I imagine during the gold rush.

The gold rush, yeah. I already chose. What's left to choose? I don't honestly know. Oh, price. Oh, price. Okay, this will eliminate all but one. Jake chooses the maximum. I do

unfortunately need to give you a low-priced house. Yeah, because you got to eliminate the other eight houses or something. Yeah. But if it's on the waterfront, are any of these under a million? Yeah. Yeah.

And I have just – I'm going to go with the cheapest house here, which is in Callahan, California. I've've never heard of that but it sounds nice is that in between here and san francisco it's a fixer it's a fixer um yeah because it was built 150 years ago yeah and let's see where where this is location wise are you looking at my computer i think i shared it with you now oh it's very uh i still see the wheels yeah okay um all right so this is it's borderline that zillow okay into the wheel browser well i'm showing you the location now right really really i've never been to this i've never been north of san francisco in california i imagine it's cool up there it's like right on this order there's a lot there is a lot here if you if you zoom out there's like

half of california is above san francisco like it's so much of it maybe not half but a third basically like it's very very low population density up there it's it's the equivalent of like dc to i don't know god dc to maine i've just yeah it's the size of missouri above san francisco and there's a huge borderline separate state yeah and california just seemingly only has three cities that anybody knows san diego la and san francisco but yeah there's a lot going on it says waterfront this one is by a lake or something uh let's find out it's next to a city called weed california which is pretty funny that is good oh wow 13 24 south fork road in callahan california zip code 96014 we're talking two beds two bath 1106 square feet nine acres that's not historic charmer at the south end of scott valley this 1903 farmhouse

is located on nine acres with multiple outbuildings including a detached studio and large pole barn with some enclosed area and a loft. That's, yeah. It's a classic farmyard with fruit trees and lilacs surrounding the picturesque two-story home. Let's look at these photos. It looks hard to get there. Yeah.

Once you get there. Two exterior shots. I mean, but on this hill, there's a wood fence surrounded by trees can we get some interior this looks like where forest ran away from jenny wow it looks like where jenny used to live yep it looks pretty haunted on the inside we're inside i think the floors obviously need to be refinished the electrical conduits are outside the wall so we're it seems like it would be really cold in here yeah but for no reason yeah right yes like why is it really cold in here the cold

air has been trapped in this room since 1902 yes yes since world war one okay panel kitchen scary that's i think that's actually kind of charming this is a nice warm tone you weren't going to want to rip up the linoleum that's for sure it does look like a quentin tarantino movie took place here yeah honestly though like this the arch on this uh breakfast nook is really really compelling and the the bit the molding here that's yeah the molding is mold i should say right yeah i think the molding is kind of. The molding is mold, I should say. Right. Yeah. I think the molding is kind of nice.

I think the floors obviously need to be redone. That looks like a linoleum floor. Old floor, yeah. Okay. That's scary. That's a little bit scary. Yeah. Well, this is the mudroom, and that's fine.

It can look like that. This one's bad. This is an office. This is where the farmer blew his brains out. Yeah, the bathroom also has haunted slash scary vibes to be sure. I bet that toilet

seat is really cold to sit on. The flooring is just not ideal but look at this outdoor. It's quite charming. These outbuildings really nice. There's a greenhouse. There's a greenhouse. There's a stone house, an outdoor stone house, and another cottage, and a little brook. Can we look at a...

Oh, that's a really big barn. Can we look at price history? I want to know how much the person who lives there paid for this. Yeah. And was it under a dollar in 1898 or something? So right now, this is $249,000. The price history, I believe they just dropped this price which is really yeah we're looking to sell it okay it was last sold in 2012 uh for a hundred thousand dollars so someone's trying to turn a profit they listed for 299 they had to drop it trying to make yeah yeah they're trying to $150K on it in about a decade,

which is a great return for a house quite clearly in the middle of nowhere. They clearly spent no money. And it looks like they've done no work. Yeah, absolutely. They've done no work on the house. Nothing has been done to the house. Yeah.

Well, the tax history is really good. We'd have to look at the comps to really understand if this is... Zero out of 100 walk score which is rare you never see a zero for walk score it's like do not leave this house on foot um i want to say what year was it actually oh it doesn't even say what year it was built so maybe that just has the vibe of 1903 gold miner so this is actually technically not later in our scope my dream dream house. Yeah. And then just for fun, I also pulled up this other one that we could have gotten if you had maybe chosen the price, which is a $6 million house, two bedroom, two bath, 1,067 square feet in Malibu.

It's a really nice home. I'm a little worried about the value at, what is it? $50 a square foot, $500 a square foot. Because it's a 1,000 square foot house, but it costs nearly $6 million. But it's literally on the ocean. It's on the ocean. It's hard to put. Yeah.

It's all about the location at that point. Yeah. Location, location, location location uh well congratulations you are gonna get a house in callahan california kind of cool i wanted the malibu one now that i see it because it looks really nice with the pacific ocean as your front yard because then and also if you win it even if you're like i'm gonna i'm gonna sell this for four million fire sale in this house that's a pretty good come up for you. The other house looked like where I will die if I went there. It seems like I have to find a Blair Witch style specter in that room or something.

Yeah, where you and Avital go up there to do some DIY projects. You know, like, let's get this NorCal cottage a writing retreat for me. But then you go mad. Yeah, oh, my aunt left this in her will. That's funny. I didn't know she lived here. Wow, how cool. What did she do? Well, we don't really talk about her that much.

But basically, she was part of a gold rush family. Oh, here's an old photo of her. Oh, wow. It looks like she's crying her oh wow it looks like she looks like crying and it looks like you avital how is that possible wow you guys really look let's just be a dirty picture let's get out of here door flies shut all right let's buy this house and shoot a fucking horror film in it is that what you wanted to hear that's actually it would be a good location.

And honestly, horror movies are being made now more than ever. Horror comedies, especially. All right, let's do it. But that's for another segment. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments.

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Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. Thank you to DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o, DraftKings. The NFL is back. That's correct. And the best part of football season is checking out the post-game stats.

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I basically know run and Hail Mary. You actually know both of those? Yeah, running is when you run. And then Hail Mary is when you chuck it, right? Damn. I think you should download the DraftKings Pick 6 app. Select between two and six players. I have a sure thing for you to put some money on.

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Right. Promos. There it is. Thanks, DraftKings. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like.

Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly.

And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly.

Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday?

Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when like you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah, which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality.

Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, vision lifters. Yeah. Vision lifters with a Z. And not where you think. And it's not biz with a Z.

So if you're looking to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one, build a store or an online portfolio, the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code SEGMENTS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to squarespace.com slash segments.

Segments. You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code SEGMENTS when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace. All right, we're back. This next segment, something we've done before

actually on our, I think it was on our, if I were to use for Patreon. Yeah. In which I sold some ads without telling you. But they had very specific requests for the copy, you see. So we have to read it.

Usually they give us bullet points or talking. We're supposed to put it in our own words. So you're saying you wrote exactly. These advertisers, they wanted full approval of the script. As if like they didn't want us to go off book at all. They needed this air check to be verbatim is what you're saying. Yes. Yes. And so I wrote these scripts for the advertiser for you to read and me as well.

Okay. And if they're good enough, I'll send it to the brand and hopefully they'll be approved. But these are the scripts they wrote. And again, try to sell it as though it's an ad, right? Because these are actual brands, actual products. So the less you can laugh the better because they don't want it to be seem like some sort of like okay cheeky or ironic script i read the first sentence and it's yeah why don't we we could trade roles do you

want to trade roles where i'll read your because i read i wrote them for you and they were approved as in kind yeah okay great so i'll get it started sure ow my dick slit okay so i'd hate to give you a note this early by the way yeah but it's just oh my dick slit basically you're saying dick slit instead of instead of god i see okay and again the less you can laugh the better better. I don't know why I thought it was an ad. Just because we want to be able to sell this as a real. Okay. So I'm saying, oh my God. So let's pretend we go to commercial. All right.

Let's take a break right now. We'll thank a few sponsors, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, my dick slit. What? Our next sponsor is one of my least favorite brands. Whoa, you can't say that let me finish one of my least favorite brands to choke on it's drum roll please what's the brand i already sorry i'm i try to try not to laugh yeah i already told you yep drum roll please what's the brand i already told

you fat fuck it's drum roll please and the world's first soy free patty and guess what else uh what come on you can do better than that please uh i don't know it's also gmo free no it's the world's first soy free patty for me to choke on is that good it's great no chewing means your teeth are free to do whatever you want while you swallow this soy-free load. And guess what else? What? If you order with the code, if you order now with the coupon code WENTFARTEN, be back on or before 9-11. Come on, man.

We'll throw in 10% off your next order for the drum roll please party pack. Say that 10 times fast and you'll get another 10% off the drum roll please party pack. That's 900, Jesus. Soy-free patties, two wafers, and a little pill that's basically Molly. Without any fentanyl laced into it. Or is there? Are you okay i'm finally fine you're sweating a lot i'm joking and i'm choking thank you party pack i mean drum roll please nice yeah that's a good so the brand is soyless patties is that just yeah it's a soy-free patty so it's neat it's a hamburger the party pack yeah it's the wafers and the pill yeah the real

confusing part is that it's called drum roll please so it always kind of sounds like you're setting up the name of a different thing yeah That I actually kind of don't hate. Like the name Drumroll Please is kind of, it's like naming your bar, I don't know bar or something. Yeah. Anywhere but here. Yeah. Where are you guys going? I don't know.

Anywhere but here. Yeah. It makes, it brings you into the conversation. Okay. So that one's. I got one more ad for us. Yeah. That one's polished final. Here's the ad number two.

Cause there are usually two mid rolls. Yes, exactly. This one's a little coy. Hey, I'm here. Can I tell you a really scary secret? Uh, okay. This episode is brought to you by a highly offensive brand and they live in a space that's nasty and targeted towards teens

what what what is it well you know how you can order free covid tests and the government has to send them to you? Yeah. Well, if you wait at your mailbox and tell the postal worker, I refuse order. I refuse order. I refuse order. Three times, just like that. They have to legally give you another test. But this test is really secret. What is a test? So supposedly it knows when you're going to die and how. And that's who sponsored this episode?

That's right. My cousin was a Marine with 10 confirmed kills in Hawaii, and they all know about this life hack, but now it's free for our listeners. You want to know his name? No, I don't want to know. James Belt. He killed Hawaiians. So you remember the COVID test?

I refused to order the rice. So. No, no, this is a recap. Yeah. So remember. Yeah. We're almost there. Yeah.

We're bringing it home. So remember COVID test. I i refuse okay that's wait this is why we read it by the way this is super confusing at the end okay the grammar's all all off there's multiple spaces the punctuation is bizarre but i guess this is what they want. Okay. So remember, COVID test. I refuse order thrice. Take the test and find out how you're going to die. Thanks, Jamie. Jamie?

We called him that because he pronounced it wrong once when he was four. Scene. Scene. All right. That's great. That one's more of a life hack but like sometimes they're like rocket money where it's like we'll save you money it's not necessarily like a product that you get in the mail it's just this service that helps you figure out how to save money how you're gonna die xyz whatever

if you could know would you i would not but at the same time i don't want to like prevent other peoples from finding out and also like it seems like once you know then that old I guess once you know the old way that's not necessarily how you're gonna die anymore like now it becomes avoidable in some sort of bizarre fashion well no I think oh you drown when you're 29 and it's like okay I'm 28 so I'm just not gonna go swimming next year right Right, but then it'd be like in the movies where you're avoiding how you're going to drown is how you drown, where you're like, okay, well, I'm going to go to Kansas where there's no bodies of water. But then you go there and you—

There's a hurricane. Yeah, and you drown in your basement. You're septic, back septic. So like there's—and like and like wow would he have drowned if he didn't go to Kansas and run away from his death you know maybe yeah this isn't the kind of stuff we want to avoid just because the product

now we're like sort of steering people away back to our show yeah we have the edit yeah the ad clean we're just talking off mic about I don't like people to like find out this part and be like oh by the way just so you know they were talking kind of shit about your product during the meat of the episode yeah well i don't even know what the product is it seems like it was just an idea sent to us by

jamie who is my cousin yes exactly your cousin is how you found out about this entire thing okay but i guess you can refuse the order on the COVID test. Right. I refuse order. I refuse order. I refuse order. At the mailman who's just delivering you the package. You know how to get it done at that age. Yeah. All right.

Good work. All right, Jake, what do you got for the last segment? Okay. I had an idea where we might be able to use our platform to help a cute little dog get adopted. Now, what else we got? Come on. We could do better than that. Okay. Why don't we do some more ads?

I have one about a pill that makes you poop out of your dick that i can write up pretty good yeah yeah a poop all right fine let's help a dog yeah all right so it's actually it's it's gonna be similar to the zillow game with uh no okay except with no spinning okay okay that's probably better a little easier to follow for sure all right so i'm gonna go i'm gonna check out pet finder uh you're gonna go to pet finder all your ideas are very visual so i have to do the heavy lifting of describing everything i see yeah which is why i'm going to share my screen with you so you can start describing pet finder first of all finder okay is this is this how you found your dog uh Yes, actually. Okay. So it does work.

It does work. And Dingo truly is my absolute best friend. I love him like a brother, like a son, like a cousin, like a father, like a comrade. Okay. So first of all, for us to really be able to help facilitate this i feel like we want this dog to be close to either brooklyn or los angeles so that way we just our biggest cities um yeah and and also this would allow you could go to silver lake dog park someday and maybe see this dog in his happy little home that's i could do it in brooklyn okay do it in Brooklyn. Let's flip a coin. Do you have a coin? I do not, actually. I'll roll a 20-sided die.

If it's 10, I'll re-roll. If it's above 10, I win and it's Brooklyn. If it's below 10, you win and it's LA. I hope it's 8. If it's 8, you have to adopt a cat. 19. Let's say Brooklyn. It you have to adopt a cat. 19. So let's say Brooklyn.

Okay. And it's going to be a dog. We can do it. We'll play with cat next time. Yep. All right. So now we're, let's skip breed, obviously. You don't need, we're going to be breed agnostic.

We're not discriminating. I feel like we want to go adult actually because then their behavior is kind of known we're not recommending somebody get a puppy which is a handful and then the last thing we want is some somebody sending the dog right back into the shelter so let's go ahead with an adult um do you ever look at pet finder now that you have dingo like it's a secondary dog i do you do yes because it's kind of like when you buy a house or when you rent an apartment you you continue to look at least i you probably don't do this um yeah but i i sometimes just keep tabs on things that i had been interested in i send brother i send my uh

brother dogs i send friends who like they are thinking about getting a dog dogs every once in a while it's just kind of fun um okay i'm i'm more into the the names than the faces i totally i'm a huge name guy okay so we'll we'll rattle off some names and i'll let you choose maybe actually don't so don't look at any of these i'm also gonna say good with other dogs that way i can uh go to a dog park someday and see this dog. That's cute. Care and behavior. Let's say house trained. Yeah.

And this is the big one. Days on Pet Finder. I'm going to go 30 plus. And now why would a dog be on Pet Finder for so long? Maybe because they're struggling to get adopted. Abducted, yeah. Yeah, struggling to get abducted by their new best friend and owner okay uh now i'm gonna random right off the bat the first dog is seemingly perfect for me because it's a scared chihuahua with an underbite so severe it has two reverse fangs from the bottom up his name is brain and

he's chubby i should also say i do like fat small dogs okay all right so i am gonna randomize it just because right now it's based on we'll never see brain ever again i will open a new tab for brain just in case let's let's read the profile of three dogs make a recommendation um and then uh and then we'll you know maybe maybe people adopt three dogs you never know you never know all these dogs are available i mean i don't know but i'm not going to click an out-of-town pet because that's okay that's going to be too too much to too many logistics i'm right off the bat i'm a fan of dogs with hair so out-of-town pet i don't know which it says it's a Labrador Retriever. You know, like the kind of dog you can just sort of slap on the rib cage and it feels like a nice rug.

Yeah. I don't like that kind of dog. You don't want a short. I need a little hairy dog. Yeah, okay. So you want. I need a fat, small, hairy dog. That's just for me, of course.

These aren't my dogs, so people can do whatever they want. Here's a very thin, hairy dog. Maggie, the miniature poodle. But I am assuming you don't. I like, I mean. course these are my dogs so people can do whatever they want here's a very thin hairy dog uh maggie the miniature poodle but i am assuming you don't i like i mean not a huge fan of maggie this matthew is pretty seems pretty yeah matthew matthew kind of looks like you quite frankly yeah i don't know how to describe this dog but it's got herwitz facial features yeah it's kind of got like this could be your fucking cousin yeah got auburn hair yeah definitely has the the her with swirl and then freckles let's open a new tab for matthew okay i mean there's no way that that's like a cousin that turned into oh my god like a gem

she's eating a puppuccino and it's really really all over her face yep are you more inclined to to to get a dog named after your daughter? Yes, for sure. Whenever I see things described as a gem now, I'm like, well, I should get it for Gemma. I should get her that dog. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. There's a lot of happy boys and girls here.

There's too many good dogs. So we're just, I'm just scrubbing through. I guess I'll look for, tell you what, give me one more amenity. I mean, that top left one is pretty great. Simba W looks like a fat, joyous lady. Yeah, a beagle and Pekingese mix. All right. I don't know why the W too.

We have to choose one more dog because there's just too many. We're on page two of 45. There's so many. Oh, wait. Let's go back up. There was one that looked like Luke a little bit. That guy.

Oh, no. Speckles Jum. Just a terrible J-U capital M. They did him dirty with the name. They did him dirty with the name. The photo looks pretty good. All right. Let's read about these guys.

Meet Brain. We can all see Brain as a chihuahua again brain is the fat chihuahua with the reverse fangs i mean this is a perfect dot look at that underbite doesn't get better really does all the bottom teeth are exposed i must not have them are exposed. No. Let's see. Brain. Brain was found wandering with a sibling, Pinky, who is also up for adoption. Oh, I see. Ideally, we would love to have them adopted together. This is probably why they've been on for so long, because a bonded pair is tough. Bonded pair.

Yeah. Talk about a twofer. Learned about that one. While they may have their arguments, who doesn't, they do seem bonded. Love sleeping in the same bed, all snuggled up, and seem to always want to get attention together. You tell us if that doesn't scream package deal. Brain may look teeny, but she can be spunky around big dogs that don't give her space. Otherwise, just seems to ignore them.

We love a queen that protects her peace. She is very food motivated, and you'll have to make sure she doesn't get at her siblings food. She's super sweet and loves attention and no barking at people or showing any typical chihuahua behaviors. Okay. Honestly this is very, like I have a dog that's very similar to this. Luke is very

food oriented, treats oriented, hates big dogs. The other day I was walking with Luke and we saw a coyote and I had to lift luke up because he was barking screaming trying very very hard to kill the coyote yeah he wanted to die he had a death wish okay so i like brain i like brain a lot it sounds like brain does have to come with pinky even though it also sounds like they are going to fight in your house so yes but who doesn't?

That's an option. Wait, sorry. Can you go over again exactly what happens now that we've talked about these dogs? How are people adopting them, and what are we doing to help that? So I think we'll have to post the winner, who we think is the most adoptable dog. Okay. I guess we should maybe post these, all of them somewhere for people to adopt them

if they're interested. Though you can also search on Pet Finder by name. So you can do all this on your own. And then I think we can only do this for one, but we will cover the adoption fee. Right. And then how much is that? It depends.

Brain's adoption fee is uh 250 dollars got it so if that's a limiting factor i mean matthew is very handsome as well and from milford do you know where that is milford connecticut yeah it's in between here and new haven it's connecticut coastline it's super easy you can take the metro north right to milford and bring this happy guy home let's read about matthew everything is a game for matthew he loves to play he also would love a family of his very own matthew loves other dogs and is fine with cats as well great he is a smart boy who has some energy he would love an active family who will take him on hikes. A securely fenced yard will let him run and play in nice weather as well. Okay, so we're maybe not looking at Brooklyn for Matthew, but he's not far outside of the city.

I mean, you have a securely fenced yard. I do have a securely fenced yard, so it's still possible. His ideal family, and also, you know, if Matthew loves other dogs, there are plenty of dogs to play with in the city and a lot of dog parks. His ideal family will have a quiet lifestyle inside the home great he's not a dog who makes friends instantly and would have to be introduced to all new people gradually we're looking for one what do you think happened what do you think happened that they had to write that in the the description he's ideal family once and freaked out he's not a dog who makes friends instantly

would have to be introduced to all new people gradually so i guess yeah maybe he just doesn't like high um high energy environments where there's a lot of people if you're having a party it's a bad idea but he looks very very we we fostered a dog at the beginning of lockdown and it didn't take Jojo. She was nasty and bit Luke a lot. She would try to claim her territory and would snip, yell, bark at Luke when Luke's trying to get to his bed or the couch or our bed. Yeah. You do have to read between the lines in a lot of these things.

Unfortunately, people have fucked up dogs, uh, and it makes, uh, training them very, very hard. So you have like, sometimes you have to be somebody who's very good with dogs to take on, um, uh,

one of these, one of these rescues. It sounds like they all deserve a home. Of course. It sounds like Matthew, uh, is, is maybe a little reactive.

So that's, and also in Connecticut. Let's go on to Jem. I mean, look at this messy, messy girl. Yeah. Yonkers. Jem is in Yonkers. This is the one who's just absolutely covered in a puppuccino. Yeah.

She's part pit bull and part Labrador. She is very cute, has a nice brown coat, short hair. Oh, she's got the forehead wrinkles and she loves this Puppuccino. Okay, let's read about her. Wait till you meet this Gem. Gem is a young Labby mix who's about 60 pounds. That's a big dog, folks. She is house trained, crate trained and extremely laid back. She enjoys a long walk when you're able to and really just enjoys the company of her people she doesn't mind the company of other dogs and is also cat friendly when passing them on walks she was excited and curious she's just an overall sweet and happy girl looking for a place to see her value i mean that's nice i think for the for the descriptions

gem right now sounds probably like the easiest dog for a first-time dog owner. Yeah. Jem is an actual Jem. Yeah. I'm down to it. Let's eliminate Matthew. Not that we're going to obviously

kill this dog. Yeah. Okay, I'll tell you what. If we have... The Jem and Bran are the top two. Yeah. If you're interested in Matthew, who is very cute, and if you...

He's the most handsome one. If you're a homebody and you don't need to... And you want to just hang out at home with your dog, it sounds like Matthew would love it. So you can go over to furryfriendsct.org and you can find Matthew. I see. That is furryfriendsct.org. More of a... Especially if you're in Connecticut.

Yeah, for sure. This is the best dog if you're in Connecticut. Okay. So Jem and Bran are up there. especially if you're in connecticut yeah yeah this is the best dog if you're in connecticut okay so jim simba w is just a nice fat little furry friend i mean this is just the ideal looking dog yeah he's so funny like a serious fat little wiener man he does have that like the dachshund body of the corgi body yeah he is long and pudgy and is uh has the colorway of a cow and he takes himself seriously weiner cow he has poise and he has pomp and he has circumstance and he's named after you don't have to read this whole thing it's really this is a very long

description he's almost three years old and it and is a pe What is a peagle? So I guess that's a beagle and a Pekingese. I've never heard of a peagle. That second paragraph is kind of alarming. You're going to want to read the second paragraph. Simba does have a senior friend named Denver. He is a beagle mix as well. Denver is a dog's dog and doesn't much care for people. So if you're up for the challenge,

Denver would love a home with simba to call his own for the time he has left so it's a two-for-deal yeah well simba is just sort of friends with this really old asshole and they're like you really want the asshole too but the asshole doesn't like people yeah it's like okay can we just break up simba and his random old friend that he has oh no that doesn't like any people uh some history of behavioral problems and is looking for his forever home that will love him with all his faults they did him so dirty on this yeah i think i almost want to bring him in and try to fix him i mean look at this sweet little pudgy asshole who has an old he honestly already looks like an old grump

and he has a friend that I think is a bad influence. Like, I don't think he should be down to have Denver around. Denver seems to be the bigger issue here. This is the highest adoption fee we've seen yet at $475. So for $475, you get this dog that has behavioral issues and his mean old best friend they shouldn't have and there's also simba w is the name why simba w simba was fine simba is both the best and the worst dog we have on here yeah i love simba if you love simba too check out friends with four paws in belleville new jersey uh and see you can give simba and denver a home speckles jum are you ready to read about speckles jum he's a happy just a big

dumb loser look at that happy dumb loser got the yoda ears his name is speckles and his last name is jum uh wow this is a combination of jizz and spum this is so speckles is my name and love is my game i am one of the sweetest dogs i'm about four and a half years old with a frosty mug to show for it you know that some of us gray prematurely i am one of those and i try to accentuate myself for gray highlights i mean if you got it flaunt it so they're really yeah speckles wrote this himself for sure she hired a local jum wow so this is like uh couch uh this is the best of both worlds they say sometimes a couch potato sometimes a fun fun girl who can go hiking or napping camping or couching uh i can go running or not lol

i love a walk during this day a very casual lady i guess yeah this is awesome given my flexibility i'm okay with dogs of any energy level i don't need to meet my other dog friends to do the lab sniff test before accepting them into my pack. Oh, I do need to perform the sniff test. I see. All right. But yeah, this... She's in Texas.

What? No. Yeah, it looks like it's an out-of-town friends, which means in Texas uh it's an out of town friends which means in texas it's two hundred dollars but i guess they'll if you can get which includes the transport it's four hundred dollars i see i see all right well these are she's in texas but we can drive her anywhere you want so she's in texas and they're doing a swap with this um with this place 10 miles outside of the city near trenton new jersey okay got it so what are we thinking these are these are all i guess tweet all three of these links the day the episode comes out and then uh if people want to see, they can just look on my or your Twitter. And if they want to adopt, then adopt them and we'll reimburse them on Venmo or Zelle for the fee.

And then you send us a photo of you with Jem, with Brain, or with Speckles Jum. And they'll sort of be the unofficial dog of segments. That's awesome. So are we willing to are we willing to uh reimburse three different adoption fees i love that yeah probably um i mean i'm kind of skeptical anybody will get any of these dogs but should it actually happen it would be really nice yeah okay great so if you guys want and if you had to take one into your house who would you who would you choose for me it's far and away jim she seems incredibly sweet uh very mellow very relaxed and kind of looks like a pitbull version of dingo so i think they'd get along really well yeah i would i'm more of a brain

situation although i would like to take speckles jump the name and give it to brain if possible speckles jump so it's the underbite although speckles jump is also pretty sweet yeah it's like but Luke basically is a speckles or something yeah a smaller speckles right minus the jump for sure yeah right all right. All right, so hit us on Twitter if you want to adopt a dog or if you have any segment ideas of your own. Yeah, exactly. Any feedback, really, you can just leave it on the YouTube video or adopt a dog and let us know via email.

Yep, and for sure if you adopt any of these dogs, let us know. We'll cover the adoption fee, and I will introduce them to my dog in a dog park someday. And we have more of us if you want more of us on video. It's on our Patreon. Patreon.com

slash JA. We're watching Jake and Amir videos. Giving a new spin on an old classic. Damn right. We even wrote a Thanksgiving scroll on Thanksgiving. So if you want to watch us write an episode,

people seem to really like that one too. I would really like that one. I was watching it and laughing very hard. We found gold. We might shoot gold. We should. Okay. And thank you guys for listening.

If you're listening watching if you're watching and of course we'll be back next week having had a dog maybe i would love it can you imagine a dog in callahan california if people end up buying this note about if you end up wanting that house will also cover the down payment can Can we say that? And two property tax payments. Yeah. The taxes are very low in Callahan. Yeah. But a tax write-off to be sure.

Okay. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week. Goodbye, everybody. That was a Hiddem Original.