Segments - 330: Vaping (w/Sugar Pine 7!)

Episode Date: May 21, 2018

In this episode, Steve, Cib, and James of Sugar Pine 7 join us to discuss kissing, dissing, and car accidents.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at ...https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com, B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle.
Starting point is 00:01:12 With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary for a limited time only. The name is What? The name is Excuse me The name is If I were you show Can I have the attention of the class? The name is For one second The name is If I were you show
Starting point is 00:01:50 Hi kids Do you like podcasts? Wanna hear these two Jews Giving advice out their own ass? Write them an email And hope that they don't pass On your stupid questions About boners and passing gas
Starting point is 00:02:01 My phone's that way I'm trying to get my life straight But I gotta hear what Jake and Amir Have to say about my heartbreak And Amir B said Mom I'm coming! and told him he'd be off but sometimes the tables will flip and Jake would be the jack off I listen to all their advice and to be concise it's resulted in loving relationships now ending twice I'm single Nathan, wait a minute
Starting point is 00:02:31 that's fucked up dude they don't give a fuck I'd sit there to make people laugh their asses off The name is The name is The name is If I were you, show
Starting point is 00:02:41 The name is The name is The name is If I were you, show The name is The name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, the name is, Alright guys, what do you think? Just initial thoughts on that song. Do you know the song? It's parody? Yes, I'm considered a large Eminem fan. Oh really? Was that not the new Exorcist and Tossio song? No, I think it was just large. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:03:16 No, he had been joking. I was joking about his weight. Oh, got it. Dude, I'm only 20 kilos. Over. Sugar Pine 7 in the house. Is that, is that, am I pronouncing that correctly? Sugar Pine 7? Is that fair to say?
Starting point is 00:03:29 Is that what you call your collective? Yeah. Sugar Pine 7? If you pronounce it, it's right. Okay. But what do you call yourself if you're like, hey, we're here. It's. It's the Pine Boys in class.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Oh, the Pine Boys. That's really cool. The girls from down the block. Girls from down the block and Dr. Strange. Which one's Dr. Strange of you three? It switches. It switches between us. Doctor McGonagall over here.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Because we just met you guys like an hour ago, and you were all very strange to me. So the fact that one of you is Doctor Strange really freaks me out. Well, one of us has a PhD in it. Holy shit. Yeah, congrats. Doctor Strange, Doctor McGonagall, and Doctor Henry III? No, Henry IV.
Starting point is 00:04:04 It sounds like you guys were all PhDs then. No, but only one of us has a PhD. And we don't want to toot our own horn. No. Dr. Strange PhD. But I think we speak for ourselves. So you don't want to toot your own horn, but you speak for yourself. But when you guys first saw us, who was the cutest?
Starting point is 00:04:20 I would say you are the cutest. You pointed at me first, though. That was kind of like an ambiguous pointing. Those of you who didn't see it, there was no direct pointing. And it landed right at Amir. You pointed at yourself. If for whatever reason somebody who's listening to this podcast doesn't know who you are, what's your elevator pitch?
Starting point is 00:04:39 Why are you guys such a big deal? What's your claim to fame? We vlog, and we make a story out of it and use narration. Don't be humble, dude. So it's like Arrested Development and IGN. This is the first time I've seen you be normal since you got to the office. Oh, yeah. We'll start to simmer down.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I think that's how we deal with real-life situations is by overcompensating with our personality or lack thereof. So would you guys consider all three of you YouTube vloggers? One of you more a producer-director, one of you more of an actor-writer, or is it just vlogger? I'd say on YouTube we're vloggers. I mean, that's what we call the vehicle used to tell whatever story we want to do. Yeah, I would be very sad and upset and hurt and offended if somebody called me a vlogger.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Oh, really? Yeah, is there a negative connotation to be a vlogger? But do you embrace it? Because of the actions of some well-known vloggers, yes. But I think that the way we do it was never actually meant to be like vlogging. It was just friends hanging out
Starting point is 00:05:36 and goofing off and then became little characters and quirks. But we're vloggers at heart. Yeah. At VART. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a at vart making videos with your friends is cool and vlogging is lame
Starting point is 00:05:49 it's so weird I think it's just the word sucks vlogging is such a dumb word it's a dirty word I personally don't think there's anything wrong with being a vlogger I think it's just you don't hate the player you hate the game are you a proud vlogger? wait what?
Starting point is 00:06:04 are you a proud vlogger? I don't think there's anything you don't hate the player, you hate the game. Are you a proud vlogger? Wait, what? Are you a proud vlogger? I don't think there's anything wrong with it, per se. Would you say that you're a proud vlogger? Answer the question, man. Does your business card say vlogger on it? I'm Steven and I am a proud vlogger. That's really nice. It's a real thing.
Starting point is 00:06:17 You said that like you were at an AA meeting. Yeah. I truly think that vlogging is a really cool concept. I think it's just been spoiled by certain individuals, and it just gives vlogging a bad name. And obviously it's an oversaturated market, but there's still some good that you can get out of it. It's sort of like because anybody can do it,
Starting point is 00:06:34 but not everybody can do it well. But that's the magic of it. Everybody can do it. But then there's a whole lot of shit that exists. Oh, yeah. So it's hard to separate yourself. I think it's cool using something that's so popular and relevant right now and doing it differently because it's really hard to separate yourself. I think it's cool using something that's so popular and relevant right
Starting point is 00:06:46 now and doing it differently because it's really hard to do, especially if there's so many people doing it and everybody wants to do things differently. So actually being able to do it differently, not that I'm saying that we're doing it differently or that we're great, but that's where the... But you guys are relatively new in the vlogosphere,
Starting point is 00:07:02 aren't you? Yeah. Like just a couple years old. not even less one year one year really a year oh exactly a year in march yeah holy shit so how do you differentiate like if there's so many vloggers and some some of them are so well established and so popular how do you like if i was one year ago if i was giving a graduation speech to somebody like i want to be a vlogger i'd be like don't bother now it's too late only i want you to start but like the time has passed i didn't know that you could like still make a name for yourself bother now. It's too late. Go to school only. I want you to start high school over. The time has passed. I didn't know that you could still make a name for yourself.
Starting point is 00:07:28 We didn't either. You want to know quickly what happened. He got well, SourceFed shut down. You guys know SourceFed? Yep. He was a host on SourceFed. It shut down and he took advantage in a good way of the audience that needed somewhere to go and he started just recording. Being silly, he came to my house one day.
Starting point is 00:07:44 We started recording and everyone seemed to like it and got it and moved from there and turned into a company and now dead souls walking baby hell yeah wait i want to know how it turns into a company like where does james come in how does it become a company who do you guys contact you guys sold your funding i'm the funding oh you don't contact anybody i bought the contact oh that's really cool so you were just checking your email one day and somebody is like, rooster teeth. I want to give you $8 million and I want you to take your pants off. In that order.
Starting point is 00:08:12 James, you came along very early on when Steve was making a different series and needed someone to film with. He was a PA at SourceFed. I was a PA at SourceFed. So you were just around there helping out whatever needed to get done. A production assistant. Exactly. Yeah, I was doing a range of tasks at SourceFed. I was shooting their different videos, setting stuff up and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:08:32 And then Steve and I just got along because we had a similar sense of humor. So I shot a couple things for his channel while SourceFed was still going on. So when he wanted to do this after SourceFed, he was like, hey, you want to shoot this with us? And I was like, yeah, because I simply have nothing else to do. I lost my job. And I was just picking and flicking my nose and it all just. What were you doing when you got contacted? I was doing my own YouTube thing that was actually, no, I was producing for my friend
Starting point is 00:08:55 because he had a bigger gaming thing and I was just like handling everything for him. And then we started doing this and I started neglecting that and doing this more. And this turned into something I never told you. The video that kind of not sparked everything but the video that sort of led into this group when i went over to your house and that was your introduction into the series i almost didn't do that you almost didn't i almost didn't include you in this because because of your inability to stay in the united states and i was like i can't you know put you on camera and then have all this build up and then suddenly he has to leave and then everything's
Starting point is 00:09:25 fucked. And that's a battle he did to this day. Wow. It's funny to imagine you guys just like wacky, silly, loud vloggers, but then like at a certain point you're having to like rack your brain and figure out if it's worth including someone who may or may not be deported due to legal
Starting point is 00:09:41 reasons. Because you were born in Canada or something? Yeah, or something. Isn't it also hard, like don't you have to prove that the you were born in Canada or something? Yeah, or something. Isn't it also hard? Like, don't you have to prove that the job you have in America is something that only you can do? Yeah. So like with vlogging,
Starting point is 00:09:53 the government would just be like, anybody can vlog. Oh God, yeah. I didn't go that route at all anyways, but you would have to. You would have to be like, listen, nobody's me, baby. Only I'm me.
Starting point is 00:10:03 Yeah, it helps a lot because Trump's a big fan too. He's a sugar pine guy. Yeah. Trump's a big fan too he's a sugar pine guy yeah Trump is a piner he's a pine boy is that what you call your fans the piners we don't call them
Starting point is 00:10:11 anything you guys have so many views and so many fans at this point how do you go from zero to a million subscribers in a year well
Starting point is 00:10:18 and now Amir's not interviewing you for the podcast I want to join and help us we're hemorrhaging listeners get me in because we're such old school YouTubers And now Amir's not interviewing you for the podcast. How do you do this? We're hemorrhaging listeners. Get me in.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Because we're such old school YouTubers. We did like sketches and stuff. How did you do it? We worked for College Humor. We were pre-vloggers. But I feel like if I was born in 1993 instead of 1983, I would be a vlogger. But I missed the train. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Well, it helped to already have a channel that had 600 000 subscribers and then it just kind of uh snowballed to over a million but there was already a built-in audience um from no from gaming yeah it was my personal channel he had about oh shit like what's like 30 to 60 000 people watching everything yeah so it's about a 30 to 60 audience already from gaming and then just transition that over it was a very scary rebranding change. I deleted all my videos. What? Really? Oh yeah. Why'd you do that? Because I wanted the new content that I was proud of to be bingeable. And here's the issue
Starting point is 00:11:12 I have with what you did. Not only did you not just unlist and private them, you deleted them. I deleted them. And the source footage. Six years ago. I have an issue with deleting things. It's just, I don't know, it's like an OCD kind of thing in me. I'm the same way. Get rid of it forever. Because I was worried if they watched these new videos that I really liked and then Suddenly went back and saw some shitty gaming video. They're gonna be like oh my god
Starting point is 00:11:31 I hope this doesn't happen again not gonna subscribe. You know why not private them dude because I didn't want them I thought all of the thought no I didn't I didn't I thought oh it's not the thousand videos that I deleted were bad. All of them. He's a tough critic, man. Yeah, Jesus. Can you imagine if we deleted all the videos we thought were bad? We'd have nothing left. They were all bad.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I didn't delete anything. There's videos of me as an 18-year-old being really stupid just online. I don't even think to delete them. People love that shit, though, dude. Yeah, but I'm sure people love the videos you deleted, too. It's not about them. I do this delete them. People love that shit though, dude. Yeah, but I'm sure people love the videos you deleted too. It's not about them. I do this for me. And I didn't like Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Fuck it, I'm not afraid to say it.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Another thing, that's a victory vape right now. This is the only podcast where we'll have to get rid of vaping noises. Oh man, this is what we do. It adds to the ambiance. You guys said you started vaping as a joke and it became real as you became addicted to the nicotine. Yeah, nicotine is very highly addictive, and I already have a very addictive personality.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Of course. So, you know, two and two makes two, four. Yeah. It's absolutely absurd. Now you guys have not just casual vapes. No, it's big-ass vapes, bigger than a phone. And not only did we not buy them, they sent them to us because they recognized what we were doing. Yeah, you guys are like poster boys almost. It's big ass vapes, like bigger than a phone. And not only did we not buy them, they sent them to us because they recognized what we were doing.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Yeah, you guys are like poster boys almost. It's bad. We're like the early days of big tobacco. We're like these guys. We're like the pregnant mom who's smoking on an ad in the 50s. I mean, four out of five doctors recommend. Try to like buy a defunct vape company and rise it up. Wow.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Like you guys should have branded vapes. I thought you were going to go, you guys should just come up with this way to vape but not have nicotine. I was like,
Starting point is 00:13:10 they make that. We choose to smoke the nicotine. I could also pitch you on quitting vaping, but I'm not going to do that. I think you guys got to double down, lean into it,
Starting point is 00:13:20 buy a company. support me in my decisions. Do you guys have any adults on your team? Like, do you guys have a lawyer, a 40-year-old that's like, you can't do that. What are you guys doing? Bruce.
Starting point is 00:13:30 He's old as shit. Bruce is dead. Bruce was in Bro Threesome, right? Bruce was the girl, yeah. But you guys don't live together, right? No. We talked about that. Yeah, we live together.
Starting point is 00:13:40 But you're married? Yeah, I am now. Are you married? No, almost. Oh, but will you pull the trigger? I'm going to pull the trigger. Well, then do it. Dude, he's planning his wedding every Saturday.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Yeah, he's planning for it to fail. It's next year. May, I think, or June. I don't know. If you love me so much, why don't you marry me? That's all I'm saying. Because you're already married and I fucking fingered you easily. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:14:02 It's all in the videos I deleted. Just only fingering. What do you guys think of this one? Is it better than the last one? Alright, I'm endlessly fascinated with you guys, but we have to get to these questions. People are desperate need, dire straits, eager for our advice. Totally, yeah. No, I'm also in a long
Starting point is 00:14:17 term relationship. Oh, sorry. I didn't even think to ask. I don't know why I glossed over it. It's okay, I'll fill you in. Five years. Lauren's cool. Thanks, man. So all three of you have been in long-distance relationships. Long-distance? I've been in a long-distance relationship. And long-term.
Starting point is 00:14:33 You guys have the attitude of cool bachelors. You guys give off that vibe. Oh, we cheat all the time. Thanks, Dad. Just kidding. Alright, here's one. And again, these are real emails from real people. We're just going to give them fake names to preserve their anonymity. Steve, do you have a fake woman's name to refer to this lady as?
Starting point is 00:14:53 Blethera. That's good. Nice. Blethera writes, I was hanging out with a guy I've been dating at his apartment, and I noticed another girl's makeup in his bathroom. I didn't say anything to him about it because I didn't want to jump to conclusions and start a fight, but the more I think about it, the more it bothers me. There were eyeliner pencil shavings in the bathroom trash,
Starting point is 00:15:11 which means the makeup was used recently. So it's not just left over from an ex or something. I guess it could be from someone else who's just a friend, but it seems weird that she'd be leaving behind her things at his apartment. For some context, we started hooking up about a year ago, and I've been exclusive for a few months now. I wouldn't call him my boyfriend just yet, but we did both agree to stop seeing other people.
Starting point is 00:15:32 I have accused him of hooking up with other girls before, and I have been wrong. Jesus. So I know I need to tread lightly. My question is, how do I bring this up to him and get an honest answer without sounding crazy? And as a side note, am I actually being crazy? I don't want to accuse him
Starting point is 00:15:46 of cheating or anything if that's not the case, but as much as I do want to trust him, I'm having a hard time convincing myself that it's anything less than that. Please help.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Love, Blethera. I've got an amazing solution. I've got a solution. You guys... Let's go around the horn. Yeah, you chimed in first. Okay, she didn't mention anything about having a dog.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Do they live together? Doesn't matter. She gets him a dog. That inspires her to buy him a dog camera that spies on the dog at all times. You're fucking sick. Or option two, simply ask him. I like the dog thing.
Starting point is 00:16:17 I like the first one. I'll chime in. It's more cynical. Yeah. Real answer is simply in the nicest way. Like, Hey, I saw like woman's makeup in your
Starting point is 00:16:25 sink and i'm curious like what was that just ask him and then if you feel like he's lying to you you shouldn't be with him so you're saying honesty here is the best policy also you don't know what he does in his spare time oh yeah so yeah that's something you'll find out with the dog camera if you like it then you should have put some nail polish on it yeah you have nail polish on yeah what's the deal there howite. How's that fair? It's just cool. Guys can do it too, you know? When did you start wearing nail polish? For the show, I was like, I need to look
Starting point is 00:16:52 how I want to be cool. I thought it was cool. I was like, I've seen rock stars do it, and I want to do it. And I just thought it was cool. That's very self-aware. That's good of you. But what if I wore nail polish? I feel like people would make fun of me. I think nail polish works with this whole...
Starting point is 00:17:07 It's part of the whole ensemble. If you were wearing your James Purse shirt and your colorful socks and then nail polish... Well, you guys' bit is that you're very self-aware. Well, actually, your character's not very self-aware. So it could work for you. Oh, yeah, in the videos, yeah. Oh, yeah, in the video, for sure.
Starting point is 00:17:24 I feel like you probably have done nail polish in one, yeah i was a mime in one so maybe i was wearing nail polish then anyway i'm just asking you guys how to be cool at this point i don't know i'll talk to you after man just do it i know i'm fucking cool oh yeah the headband that's another thing is that a daily wear it is a daily wear same headband it's different headbands i have different ones for sure i try to keep myself That's another thing you can start making yourself and selling. I do. We have that. They say Kib on them.
Starting point is 00:17:51 They say headband. That's very cool. Headband for he or she. Is there anything more than just asking this girl or asking your boyfriend? Yeah, I was thinking about this. And I think it stems from overthinking because if she was, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:08 she assumed that, or like, what's the word I'm looking for? Accused him of seeing other girls are cheating in the past, but it wasn't technically cheating because they weren't exclusive. I don't know. But so there seems to be a little bit of mistrust there on both ends. So I get that like seeing this again would,
Starting point is 00:18:24 you know, make you overthink about it. But I just think talking about it, especially if now you're exclusive. And first of all, I feel like once you become exclusive, then you become boyfriend, girlfriend. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:32 What was that about? Yeah, that was confusing. Exclusive for months, together for a year, but I wouldn't call him my boyfriend. Yeah, that just doesn't make any sense. As soon as you're not sleeping with other people,
Starting point is 00:18:41 call them your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Well, is it both ways? Is she exclusive and he's exclusive or is she exclusive but he's not quite exclusive oh did they get it in one way she said they're both exclusive but for real she should just simply ask like just don't be weird about it just be like hey i have a question this is gonna come off weird but i need to know i'm gonna be weird about it are you exclusive but that's that's i think that's like
Starting point is 00:19:02 goes to the way you frame it like and also like overthinking it yeah like if you're in the bathroom and you see eyeliner and you're like hey what's this eyeliner that's like not that weird no exactly what's weird is to like is to come up and be like i saw the eyeliner six months ago june 17th and these are pencil shaving built up the courage to ask yeah The weirdest part is definitely building it up and bottling it up so much that you ask it on a podcast. What was this girl's name? Blethra?
Starting point is 00:19:33 Blethra. Blethra Simpson. Well, now you gave her name away, dude. What's her email? Blethra Simpson at... Yaddy Waddy. Yeah, exactly that. It's like, you see it see it huh that's interesting hey
Starting point is 00:19:46 babe what's this oh simply this oh cool let's move on and be happy if you see something save something yeah save something yeah he could be a terrorist i guess i don't know that seems so far-fetched all goes back to the dog that's so funny imagine if he was a terrorist and he uses that as his disguise uncover the greatest the greatest terrorist in United States history. What's the doggy cam for? Just to make sure your doggy's still alive? The doggy cam, I mean, yeah. It helps to see if your dog's alive.
Starting point is 00:20:13 But I mean, to check on him. You can just turn that camera on anytime you want. Spy on whoever you want all the time. Don't take this advice. Don't take this advice. Cluck, cluck, cluck. Or add each other on Find Friends. Oh, what's that? It's the thing that comes automatically with the iPhone. We should add each other. I don't know this advice. Or add each other on Find Friends. Oh, what's that?
Starting point is 00:20:25 It's the thing that comes automatically with the iPhone. We should add each other. I don't know. I feel... Keep tabs. All right. Hey, I see you're at work. How's work?
Starting point is 00:20:33 You guys keep tabs on your friends? It's the most... The only reason I... I don't really use it anymore, but when we were all at the Van Nuys office and we didn't really have specific times to get in, people would text me and say, oh, when are you getting in?
Starting point is 00:20:45 Just look at Find Friends. Be like, are you at home? When are you coming in? Someone's angry. I am. A better solution of that was to just get normal times you come in. And we did.
Starting point is 00:20:55 That's true, we did. Wait, are you an advocate for Find Friends? Yeah, it depends. We all use it. Because it's like, eliminate the need of texting me where I am. Just fucking look on the app. How far away is Steve? Chuck, Find Friends. Google Maps, that shit. But you have to activate it so that We all use it. Because it's like, eliminate the need of texting me where I am. Just fucking look on the app. How far away is Steve?
Starting point is 00:21:05 Chuck, find friends. Google Maps, that shit. But you have to activate it so that you guys can follow each other. You do have to accept. And so if he doesn't accept that, then the man's cheating. I'd like to find you.
Starting point is 00:21:15 I want my privacy. I want to know when you are and where. What do you have to hide, Jake? Yeah. So much shit. So many things. That's the issue. Daily.
Starting point is 00:21:24 But I don't want to be trusted. I'm a nefarious little boy. You are. Yeah, you are a little boy. You are a little boy. I go off and I do some shady things. You've got rodent eyes. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:21:33 Not physically, but I can see. Oh, yeah. I'm shifty. I'm shifty, yeah. Not physically, because physically they're human. Human eyes. Beautiful ones. Great eyes.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Rodent attitude, though. Rodent attitude. Rodent attitude. Fan of cheese. You're a slippery little man. I am a snake. Let's get another question under our belt. This guy, we need a man's name, basically. James? Do you have a guy's name?
Starting point is 00:21:58 Probably Lustin. That's good. I really like Lustin. Lustin's one of my favorites in a while. Lustin. Lustin. That's good. Lustin. I really like Lustin. What's his last name? He's one of my favorites in a while. Lustin Linklater.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Richard's bestranged son. All right. Not estranged, but bestranged. No, bestranged because he's such fucking weird.
Starting point is 00:22:16 The nut buster. They should use Find My Friends. He wouldn't be bestranged or estranged. Did you say Richard Mustard? Lustin to the principal's office.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Lustin writes, what up gang long time listener first time advice wanter the other day me and my ex who is also my best friend hooked up at a party nothing crazy some heavy fingering hair pulling and making out whatever heavy that means like there's momentum behind it. Or is it more fingers? Oh, it's got to be upwards of heavier fingers. Or the man was heavy set and the fingers were normal fingers. They just weighed more. We both agreed beforehand that it meant nothing to either of us because we are going to different universities and long distance is fucking lame. However, although it meant nothing to me, I want to hook up with her again throughout
Starting point is 00:23:04 the summer before we go back to school. So what I'm asking is, how do I turn my one night stand thing into a semi-frequent hookup sesh without getting too emotionally involved? Thanks for whatever advice and love all the shit you guys do. Peace, love, Lustin. I have a real quick thing about the it meant nothing. I like to imagine that while he was fingering her, he was like, this means nothing. Yeah, that's a conversation you want to have after the situation. I kind of like that dirty talk, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:23:34 If I was having sex with, I would never say it, but if I was having sex with someone and they said to me this means nothing, I would fucking explode, dude. Oh, shoot. I don't my eyes. Yeah. I don't love you. Oh, God. You're like, yeah, you like that? You like that? I feel nothing.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I feel nothing is much worse. I feel nothing. Oh, my God. That's a sensitivity issue. You need to be brought up at a later time. Yeah. So you would get off to the fact that this person is telling you that you mean nothing to her.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Yes. Because it's so different than what you're used to or because it's what you're thinking and she's verbalizing and that's hot? I guess just because it's like my fantasy. Like real. Girls not caring about you? Yeah. Everyone always cares too much about me.
Starting point is 00:24:12 I like it when they don't. Yeah. So Lustin wants his girlfriend, Black Scene, to not, they want to not have feelings for each other. Sounds like Lustin is lusting. He is. He has been, yes. He is.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Wow. Namesake. You think he's getting attached? Is that what it is? He's already attached. Honestly, yeah. I think he's attached and he's trying to psych himself out and be like, don't be attached. Don't be attached, Lustin.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yo, simply just keep hanging out with her. It'll develop or it won't. And you know the lamest thing he said? Dude, long distance is so lame. Like, I could never. That was so lame, dude. Fucking just do it, man. Dude, long distance is so lame. Like I could never fucking just do it, man. No,
Starting point is 00:24:47 long distance is shitty. Simply college for the first time. They should not be in a long. No, no, no, no. If you want to college for the first time,
Starting point is 00:24:53 you need to like, that's where you grow and become who you are. You need to like fucking suck as many clits as you can stick in your ass. Whoa, that was cool. And that's your tattoo. Yeah. Fucking suck as many clits as you can stick in your ass. Right. Fucking suck. Dude, just like the tattoo.
Starting point is 00:25:07 No, I think it's literally because he wants to keep hooking up with her for the summer before college. Yeah. Do it. Be like, yo, let's go. Let's hang out. Okay. Then you probably just hook up then. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:25:18 I made so many girls my summer girlfriends. None of them liked me. But how often are they also your ex? I think that's the that's the thing is yeah you got history there so there's gonna be some sort of like reminiscing about feelings that you once had because i i think that true love if you really loved somebody it's never fully gonna leave unless they become like a shitty person and a murderer oh piece of advice um i find it really easy in my life to pick out something and immediately be able to hate somebody.
Starting point is 00:25:45 So if you're worried about connecting with somebody just after giving them the old heavy finger, all you have to do is just really train yourself to be able to dislike someone. But what you do to dislike someone is you like to imagine them as a rapist. Yes. That's what he does. If I feel really bad, like say an old person's on the street, they've fallen. Okay? Very sad.
Starting point is 00:26:04 You project a narrative onto them. Very sad. You can't stop giggling. Yeah. And you also, rather than help the old person, you picture them. Rather than help, I picture them as a rapist. So he doesn't feel bad. So I don't feel bad.
Starting point is 00:26:17 I was almost not bored until I heard the exact scenario. But I think there's a version of this that's like. Makes sense. Okay. Picture the old person as a terrorist. Rapist. Well, just like to get out of like a rapist but if you want to get over your ex then like it's i forget exactly what it's called but like magnifying something that's bad about her personality or appearance uh in your head appearance is worse but yeah i mean it's i don't think it's like a very great thing to do but it's a good way to
Starting point is 00:26:44 get over somebody it's the only way you can get over someone and it works. Have you guys ever seen Show Hell? She's got a nasally voice, but then you think, oh no, she has the most nasally voice ever and I can't stand it. And then you sort of like, can train yourself. You like, wean yourself off. And then it backfires and then you start to really be into those kind of voices.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Or if you're like, I love her nasally little voice. I'm just too ugly for any girl. I'm just too ugly for any girl. I don too ugly for any girl I don't deserve any of them I was gonna say What the fuck are you on about Have you guys seen Shallow Hal Jack Black
Starting point is 00:27:15 Remember when Jason Alexander's character in it He finds really little things about girls And dislikes them Like he's dating this really beautiful supermodel And the one thing is that her second toe is a little bit longer than her big toe.
Starting point is 00:27:28 So it came over the edge of the flip-flop and he's just like, oh, the toe! Like, ugh! Remember that one? It was like that. But it is like that.
Starting point is 00:27:37 That's like a way to get over somebody is just picture their worst quality and magnify it. Listen, Lepstunk, you've got two options here. You can A,
Starting point is 00:27:45 know that you might grow attached to her and she may grow attached to you or she may not, but you probably will. But you can see that through and just know that, hey, she's probably not your wife anyways.
Starting point is 00:27:55 So you just be with her, go to college, cry for a week, month, whatever, get over it, get fucking again, or break it off now,
Starting point is 00:28:02 save yourself the heartache and get fucking again. But in the meantime, you were fucking. So that's what's really... That's true. Yeah. Or break it off now, save yourself the heartache and get fucking again. But in the meantime, you were fucking. So that's what's really- That's true. Yeah, you know what? Getting over
Starting point is 00:28:09 the end of a relationship and being bummed out the first few weeks of college, that's normal and that'll be part of your experience. Yeah, especially the college helped you
Starting point is 00:28:17 get over it. And you're supposed to go through heartache to grow and learn how to handle it. If you never went through a heartache and then you're with
Starting point is 00:28:24 the person you love and you break up then you're fucked sounds like he's very self-conscious that he's worried that he's going to get attached also really yeah you're 18 i'm assuming 17 or 18 going to college experience like that's the biggest thing i feel about hindsight is like you like in the moment especially in high school everything is so intense and so important like this is the time of our lives right yeah but like you think back on it like a couple years later you're like wow that wasn't a big deal at all. So just experience things, have fun with it.
Starting point is 00:28:48 That thing wasn't as heavy as I thought. Wow, that breakup was terrible. Experience things, get her a dog. Always the camera. Always the camera. That's called a callback, dude. In comedy, that's called a callback. Now we're all learning something. Now we're all friends here, though.
Starting point is 00:29:04 My wife got me a dog. We got to take a break, thank a few sponsors. And we'll be back on the other side of this commercial break with some more Sugar Pine 7, Pine 7, SP7. Piners. Piners. Pioneers. Nice. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held.
Starting point is 00:29:58 They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when like you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Yeah, which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, vision lifters? Yeah, vision lifters with a Z. And not where you think. And it's notters with a Z. And not where you think.
Starting point is 00:30:45 And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one, build a store or an online portfolio, the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code SEGMENTS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to squarespace.com slash segments.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Segments. You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code SEGMENTS when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep making content you love.
Starting point is 00:31:30 It's a survey that lets us know what you think about the ad experience. But in order to do that, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience. The survey is quick, easy, and free to support segments. It'll take two minutes
Starting point is 00:31:44 and you'll be helping us a lot by taking it. It's at gum.fm slash segments to fill out the audience survey. That's right. So if you've been talking about the ads somewhere else online, now is your chance to make your voice heard, folks. Take this survey, and we will read the results. It's gum.fm slash s-e-G-M-E-N-T-S. Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Yeah, you do. And we are back. Steve, I was asking you about your car accident recently. And I said, this would be great podcast material because I don't know anything about this car crash. And it was unique. Was it not? You know, it was very unique i i uh crashed my car like many do but but i had a bit of a rolling rolling yeah full full 360 like a chicken on a rotisserie rolled a bunch of times and over landed upside
Starting point is 00:32:40 down when was it upside down oh yeah when was this this was oct upside down? Oh yeah. When was this? This was October. Oh shit. This was a long time ago. Yeah. So six months ago roughly. Oh truly. It was a, wait,
Starting point is 00:32:50 was it six months? Yeah. Show the picture of the car. Oh yeah. You guys will not even fucking believe this. Where was it? This was a far away outside of LA. Mexico.
Starting point is 00:33:01 He thought they required it to get through the border. Yeah. Was it like a highway thing? No, it was just on a back road. Bit of a roundabout that was too dark to see. Were you buckled in? Yeah, I was.
Starting point is 00:33:14 And then you were still buckled in even though the car was upside down? I unbuckled myself after the upside down part. And did you do that thing in the movies where you unbuckle and it collapses onto the roof? I unbuckled, but I had my hands like that on the... Because I had a glass roof kind of thing. So I was kind of worried because but i had my hands like that on the because i had a like a glass roof kind of thing so i was kind of worried because i looked at my hands and they were all bloody but it was because of the cracked glass and all that so i was like oh something is surely worse than than i thought previously were you by yourself yes i was but i was upside down and i landed um like on my side because you know you can't stay upside down after you've unbuckled
Starting point is 00:33:43 your seatbelt that's right physically it's impossible that's correct and i tried to push out the door on my left completely just jammed and i was like now what okay surely they're the other door so i tried to push the other door jammed as fuck and i started to get a little panicky a little claustrophobic and i started to smell something and i was like it's not my shit it's the car i can smell my shit this is where i die oh you thought the car was just going to explode thought that but uh luckily that was actually the year they added rollover protection on those kind of cars um is that a thing where it's like if a car is upside down it won't explode older cars i imagine they definitely would but this year it was the
Starting point is 00:34:16 first year of the car and he almost bought the year before so oh my god so how'd you get out i kicked the door and it opened. Just barely. And then I was able to push it out. But I had to kick the bitch. If you'll swipe to the right. You had to fucking suck that bitch open. Oh my God. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:34:36 I consider that a miracle. Don't scroll too far. You'll see everybody's dick. He walked out of that with a couple scratches on him. That's insane. Just wait till you see this. Fucking vaping on your way out. Get out a huge boom, man.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Cool guys don't look at explosives. This was during the day. Yeah. No, no. It was during the night. Oh, but the car. The next day is when I went to go. What do you do when you crawl out of the car?
Starting point is 00:34:59 You call someone or you're like, I have to call an Uber. I have to call the police. What do you do? Well, luckily there were people that came over nearby and they called an ambulance. I didn't really even need an ambulance, but they took me to the hospital anyway just to check me out.
Starting point is 00:35:14 I was supposed to stay for more tests, but I didn't have any health insurance. So I was like, ah, I'll get it done. You collapsed in the lobby. I still haven't to this day. I promised everybody I would. I made him promise that he would get checked out when he had health insurance Haven't!
Starting point is 00:35:27 You could be hemorrhaging money and blood through your skull bones Holy shit, and then the next day did you feel completely normal? No, I was like, freaked out, even to this day I still can't really handle cars too well, so I haven't tried to get a car when I'm in, James usually drives me home or to their
Starting point is 00:35:44 office or I'll drive with my fiance tried to get a car when i'm in james usually drives me home or to their office to their to their office uh or i'll drive with uh my fiance and i'll just i can't like look out the front window otherwise i'll um be like oh we're dead really i'll be like i'll be like oh we're dead there's simply a car like 50 feet in front of me that's that's starting to slow down and i also start to slow down and he goes like oh we're dead and then i'm like no we're not because i'm also breaking and it's fine like i'm in the front seat beside you you're a bad passenger like i'll be just driving normally looking at the road like a driver would and he'll be like
Starting point is 00:36:13 oh we're dead and i'm like why where so wait have you not driven since that accident nope and i drove uh during the reshoots for the woods and even then I was a little bit freaked out. And do you mind saying how it happened? How does a car flip over? Poor driving. Leave it at that? I mean, I was on a road where I shouldn't have been going as fast as I was. And there was a roundabout
Starting point is 00:36:38 and, you know, one thing just led to another. Yeah, it's like taking a turn too quickly. Oh, yeah. Because the roundabout has a little curb on the edge of it that's like taking a turn too quickly. Oh yeah. Skids, flips. Yeah, it's like because the roundabout has like a little curb like on the edge of it that's like lower than a normal curb where it would be.
Starting point is 00:36:48 So like I think what you told me is like you notice it like at the last second so you like kind of like turn to like not hit the curb. And then that allowed
Starting point is 00:36:56 one wheel to go on the roundabout and then they both all they all went off into the air. And then a rocket launcher went off next to me which launched my car there was a 747 that crashed right next to me too after my 30 seconds later
Starting point is 00:37:12 into his wreckage that's why the car's like that just like a shot of the car like lands right there and then all of a sudden just all right time for like your life to flash before your eyes while you're in the air like what's happening when you car's flipping? It was mostly just like I couldn't believe it. I just could not believe that that was actually happening. So I was just, you feel like the car just take hold and then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And the whole time, I'm just waiting to be hurt. I'm just waiting for something to be really bad. And then I landed upside down.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Did you go limp biscuit so you wouldn't break any bones? No, I just was like still hanging on the wheel trying to even it out against traffic. You're in the air and it's just like, I think I can turn out of this. Yeah, so I tried to oversteer.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Tried to overtake the guy in front of me. Yeah, and then I was just upside down. I was like, ah, that was probably really bad. But it turns out it was. I was right. At the end of, ah, that was probably really bad. But it turns out it was. I was right. At the end of the day, it was bad. You nailed it. Well, I'm glad you survived.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Now back to more important issues. But that car is now parked at a friend's house because I still have to pay it off. Really? What does he think now? We haven't even talked to him. No, you did. I talked to him recently to check in. How does insurance work like that?
Starting point is 00:38:23 You call him, you're like, hey, flip the car. So I guess you got to get me a new one, right? Here's the zinger. That's how it works? No insurance. No insurance. Of course. So I thought I was on auto pay.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Pun intended? Wasn't. So you just lapped it up. So now I'm changing the lease over time into a finance agreement, so I'm just paying off for basically a piece of junk. So you're still paying for a car? I just think of it like a college loan. Did you go to college?
Starting point is 00:38:46 No. But he learned something. I know what you mean. And honestly, after I pay off all my student loans, I'll probably pay off more than you paying off that car. Once I pay off mine, I'll probably crash your car too. And then when did you tell these guys? You're like, by the way, I just fucking flipped.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Oh, the next day, the morning after, his fiancee Alyssa texts me and is like, hey, Steve got in a really bad accident last night. And I was like, no. We have a movie to edit. He has to come to work. He needs to do ADR. I look up and I'm like, I'm the captain of the company. Oh my God. I just inherited a company.
Starting point is 00:39:25 I'm the captain now I just inherited a company I'm the captain now the prophecy is fulfilled I knew if I got him that shitty ass car I knew if I put sugar in his gas tank he'd eventually fuck himself and everybody was always like oh you're gonna crash it and then there's Steve saying no I'm not guys there were times where you and I like driving back from Idyllwild went down those windy roads
Starting point is 00:39:42 just like like around the curves and shit. And I was like, nice, nice, nice, nice. This is good. This is fine. Now you're like, we're dead, we're dead, we're dead. Exactly. That's the time where me saying, oh, we're dead, made sense.
Starting point is 00:39:54 And I would take Kib up on these drives in Agora Hills and he'd throw up every time. I literally threw up twice in one trip driving with him. I had to pull over to throw up. So you're just a bad driver even before this situation. That isn't the thing. Careless. Careless. I had a lack of respect
Starting point is 00:40:08 for my life and lives around me. Got it. So you're like, it's fine. Nothing bad will happen because I'm invincible. And that was the best college lesson I could have gotten. Well, you barely got a scratch from this accident. So it turns out you are. It is a lot like the movie Unbreakable. How old are you? 25.
Starting point is 00:40:23 25. Yeah, that's an amazing story. You're going to live forever, brother. Guys, let's die tonight, but live forever. Let's not say
Starting point is 00:40:30 every time we're drunk, we're going to live forever. Rock on. And then instantly just any shooting happens. Back to shit
Starting point is 00:40:36 that people care about. Yeah, all right. Back to shit people care about. Thanks for helping me host this thing. I would have just
Starting point is 00:40:43 talked about this car accident for another half an hour. Welcome back to the Sugar Pine Podcast. Uh, Kibb. Kibb? Cameron?
Starting point is 00:40:48 Kibb. Cameron! My real name's Cameron. My real name's Kibb, but everyone calls me Kibb. Kibb. I feel weird saying Kibb, but I guess that's your name. You can call me Klay if you want. Klay is cool.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Yeah, I could do Klay. Klay is cool, isn't it? Klay, do you guys, do you have a guy, do you have a guy's name for us? Um, yeah. Jarnind. That's good. Jarnind? Jarnind. Jarnand jarnand yeah spell it jar jar j-a-r yeah nind and last name any last name silent e last name per flags cool jind per flags jarnand
Starting point is 00:41:16 per flags jarnand wait jarnand jarnand per flags of course right i've been seeing this girl recently and everything's going great awesome personality super pretty and fun to be around however there's this one thing that's been bugging me she's not the best kisser hmm now i'm not saying this is unreal um now i'm not saying i'm this unreal amazing kisser but it's quite obvious this girl doesn't have the best idea of how to approach things could you give me an easy way to tell her that she's not good at it? I don't want to offend her or think she can't kiss me, but I know that if I speak out of turn,
Starting point is 00:41:50 that might be the result. Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me. Love the show. Very excited to see you guys in London this June. Oh, thanks. Love. We're all going to London together, right? Yeah, we're going to be at RTX London. Is that true? I don't think we are. Which is the only RTX I want to go to.
Starting point is 00:42:05 That's the one I don't want to go out of the country. I love London. Is that part of your driving fear? Airplanes are just big cars, man. I just don't like not being able to sit in front of my computer. That's the biggest thing, yeah. Got it. So you have a travel phobia.
Starting point is 00:42:20 But you know what about the kissing? All right, of course. I have to help you here, man. Sorry. Get over here and find someone right. Of course. Thank you. I'm trying to help you here, man. Sorry. Get over here and find someone else. Clay should host this show. All I'm going to say is, A, she'll get better. Because it usually works like this with kissing.
Starting point is 00:42:33 If it feels good for you, feels like a tender kiss, then you're probably doing it right. So she probably is aware or thinks you're a bad kisser, too. Oh. You could be like. It takes two. No, you can't say anything. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:44 I just realized that realized it's an early it's an early relationship you learn how to kiss each other yeah yeah just like i learned how to suck my dad's dick whoa and you probably were terrible at first at first but you got better you know he he did i try to some there's some times where i try to kiss alissa and i know i'm a bad kisser really i know it and i feel so bad for her. It's not all the time. I'd fucking hate to kiss you, dude. I know. Everyone does. She'll take it
Starting point is 00:43:11 and she never says anything and I really do appreciate that because I know it's bad. I'm sure she knows too. But I can tell that her jaw is clenching so she's pissed. I'll lick around her mouth. What are you good at in the relationship? Like why does she put up with the kissing? I give a mean pounding.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Nice. Yeah, I give a mean pounding and I get a mean pounding. So you're good at getting a mean pounding? I think that I provide a lot in a lot of different ways. Kissing is not one of those things that I'm particularly good at. Steve's very good at getting pounded. Yeah. And that's fine too. Yeah. But it's not all the very good at getting pounded yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:43:45 and that's fine too yeah it's totally fine I don't know that like you can't really say you know yeah it's it's tough when it's with somebody that you're in a relationship with I remember in high school I hooked up with this girl and awesome it is dude it was dope dude no it was like, it was the worst kissing I had ever experienced. Like it, it's like, no, she was like, she was just like, and I was like, I was like kissing her and I like opened my eyes and looked at her and in my head I was like, is this happening? Are you aware of what you're doing to me? So she wasn't actually kissing.
Starting point is 00:44:22 She was just rotating her tongue. She was rotating her jaw and mouth in a very symmetrical way. But I was like, Jesus Christ. Well, kissing is weird because you never take kissing lessons. You only learn by kissing someone else. And in theory, they have to tell you. You're raising your hand like you took a kissing lesson. A class of sorts.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Not took, but gave. Ooh. Held a class six months prior to the death of my firstborn. Star people. And I'll tell you. I don't know whether you guys are kidding. You think a kiss or no? I think it's, you know, just wait.
Starting point is 00:44:54 If it gets better, great. If it doesn't, then it's like me. And you deal with it. And you know what? And she'll be good at other stuff. Yeah, that relationship. Like giving a mean pounding. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:45:03 If that relationship develops and it's something you see that will be long term, you'll get to a point where you're comfortable enough to be able to talk about it realistically. That or it'll naturally start to get better because like what you said, it's what feels more natural and what feels better. Yeah. Yeah. Santa just told me countless times, listen, if I'm going to fucking kiss you, you got to open your goddamn mouth.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Oh. People have told you that? My wife, she's just like, you got to open your goddamn mouth. Because this is, I normally, I go in closed, but gotta open your goddamn mouth. People have told you that? My wife, she's just like, you gotta open your goddamn mouth. Because this is, I normally, I go in closed, but I stick my tongue out. Mouth closed, tongue out. I lead with my teeth. Lead with your teeth? Just clink teeth? My fiance, yeah, no, exactly.
Starting point is 00:45:35 You get comfortable, and I mean, I'm at a point in my relationship where I'll be in bed, and Alyssa, she'll wake me up in the middle of the night, because she feels comfortable enough to be, to say, Stephen, you've wet the bed again. You've urinated yourself. I'm not not comfortable i'm sleeping in your piss and you should go sleep in the guest bedroom and i'll go and wet that bed fuck i already have why do you think i'm in this bed alissa if that is your real name uh i think you can bring it up jokingly because otherwise she'll never ever ever really is that how you kiss, idiot?
Starting point is 00:46:06 Yeah. I think that's maybe some of the worst advice you've ever given. Open your little role play. Let's do some role play. I'm your significant other. Well, I like when your wife said to you, you got to open your mouth, idiot. That's like a fun little, she's busting your balls type. Oh, playful.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Well, that didn't really happen, but we've made it. But like that. It's really up to you. Because if she never hears anything, then she'll completely continue that line of kissing. You've got to have positive reinforcement on the things that she does well. Strike her down if she kisses bad. Exactly. If you give her positive reinforcement on what she does well and you never say anything good about the kissing, she probably will never learn.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Well, I think you can sort of try to direct a kiss. You can be the leader. Right. Show me. And then once you've got a great kiss that's a little less than the usual kiss style. Wow, that was a really good kiss. That's my favorite kiss we've ever had. Pretend you're my girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:46:57 And the other ones aren't good. Pretend you're my girlfriend. I'd love to. For the next year. We've just finished kissing. Yeah. And we come back and I'm like, wow, you're so great at everything besides kissing. How do you react?
Starting point is 00:47:09 That is not what I pitched. That advice, Jake! I would be mad if that is what happened. Okay, then pretend I'm your girlfriend. Okay, nice. But this is a world where I've kissed you exactly how I think we should kiss. So we've had our first kind of different kiss.
Starting point is 00:47:28 And I say, sweetheart, that was the best kiss you and I ever did have. What about all the other ones? What about all the other ones? You know, the bitey, sucky kind that I'm so good at? The bitey one. What if that backwashed? What if that backfired and she literally goes, That backwashed? What if she's like, and she literally goes, What if that backwashed?
Starting point is 00:47:45 What if she's like, what do you mean? That was the worst kiss we've ever had. No, no, no, but you say that was the best. And she says, what do you mean? I just loved it. It was really nice. Why did you have to say it was the best one? Because it was my favorite one ever. What's with the third degrees?
Starting point is 00:47:59 You're getting defensive about it. I'm not getting defensive. I think we should take a break. I think we should take a break. I think we should. You're shouting. I think we should take a break. I think we should take a break. I think we should too. You suck at kissing. Come kiss me again. I'm the doctor. I've arrived. You just burst into the room.
Starting point is 00:48:15 He opens up a portal. Kissing doctor. I'm the doctor. I have two guns out pointed at each of them. Doctor Strange is back. I'm Doctor Standoff. And I've come with a clue. Lips out and kiss boys. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Do you guys have time for one last question? Yeah. Whatever. That was awesome. Whatever you got first, baby. If you can vape and say whatever
Starting point is 00:48:37 in the same three seconds, that's pretty cool to me. Very. This one's short. We'll call this guy Oscar because that's his actual name but it doesn't seem very shameful.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Oscar Cock Gobbler. Oscar Cock Gobbler writes, hey dudes, I'm starting college after the summer and I'll be moving to a new city. Should I get Tinder
Starting point is 00:48:55 or is that unnecessary at this point? Do it. The real answer is Tinder's still like a good form of meeting people and hooking up. Even if it's in college where it's like that form of meeting people and hooking up even if it's in college where it's like that kind of meeting people will happen organically anyway well maybe
Starting point is 00:49:10 your personality sucks and you won't so yeah i was never i mean that barrier granted i started dating my girlfriend early in college so i i wasn't i never had like an opportunity to yes i went to college big deal are you the only one of the three? Yeah. Wow, baller. Graduated. Before I met my fiance, I would use Tinder, and I never actually met up with anybody on it, but it was a feel-good thing.
Starting point is 00:49:32 You swipe, and if you ever got a match ever, then you'd feel good. Get Tinder. It's only a bonus. Get Tinder. You're going to meet new people anyway, but Tinder's the bonus. Go to parties. Talk to people. Do both, baby.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I forgot the question. Yep. That's okay, too. I'm a fan of I'm a fan of like social interactions
Starting point is 00:49:47 I like doing those so I'm always like yeah just you know talk to people yeah that works too but you can do both you can do both you couldn't though
Starting point is 00:49:54 alright um sugar pine 7 how would people find you probably on uh LinkedIn probably on the internet
Starting point is 00:50:03 yeah you can just search us up we'll be on YouTube at sugarpine7 I'd say people find us on Twitter at official sugarpine7
Starting point is 00:50:10 at official SP7 you can find us I'll be driving Postmates around Postmates we shot some we shot some stuff here
Starting point is 00:50:21 is that gonna be on your YouTube channel it will be yeah Jake and Amir will be in a vlog that just is alright. In fact, after this,
Starting point is 00:50:28 we have to shoot the ending to that. Holy shit. Let's do it. Jake, you get in the diaper, and then we'll shoot the outro. It's unrelated. Thanks to you guys for coming on our show. We appreciate it. Thank you so much for having us. I'm sorry to everyone listening. This is what you got into.
Starting point is 00:50:44 You guys made this up. Yeah, we end every show with an apology to our fans. You deserve it. Big, big, big sorry to everyone. Really, really appreciate you guys. We'll never have them back. We'll be back. Again, we apologize.
Starting point is 00:50:56 Cool. We'll be back next week. If you have any questions for us, the email address for everything is ifiryshow at gmail.com. We mentioned it briefly, but we're going to London and Dublin and Amsterdam. There are tickets still available at jakeandamir.com. All five of us are going.
Starting point is 00:51:11 If I were you... Nice! Pop punk cover. Should we end on a song? Yeah, I think we should. Let's get a closer. If I were you... I'd send an email in to Jake and Amir. Then I'd delete it before I sent it. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:51:36 Darling, darling. That was oddly good. That was better than I thought you guys would do. Thanks, man. I know you guys are too humble. Give me a topic to freestyle about. Let's go for another 30, 40 minutes. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:51:47 Hit that shit. Jeans. Jeans. Jeans. Marin. Jeans. My black jeans got rips in the knees. Oh, man, don't say thank you, say please.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Oh, man, look at all the rips in my jeans. I'm pretty cool, pretty cool cool and I don't go to school we wear jeans you wear jeans everybody's wearing jeans I don't like my dad and I never have he is gone now
Starting point is 00:52:17 I'm sorry I can't be perfect this podcast is over it's amazing good work thanks guys that was a hate gum podcast be perfect. This podcast is over. That's amazing. Good work. Thanks, guys. It really was. That was a Hate Gum podcast. The $5 meal deal at McDonald's means you get to pick
Starting point is 00:52:33 between a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Get the $5 meal deal today. Prices and participation may vary for a limited time only.

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