Segments - 4: Cheeseburger

Episode Date: May 27, 2013

In this episode we discuss happiness, breaking up, and what heaven is like. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast. We're here to help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts,

including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com, B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. Hello, if you're listening to this podcast

before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star. There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah.

Because you're nervous. You're skittish. You're stuttering right now. I'm a little frightened. So I don't want you in this ad at all. I don't want to be steamrolled, but I want the live live. So no, I won't be recording one. In fact, for you asking that, I'm going to keep this part in.

Don't. This part is now the ad. Edit this part out. But let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part't this part is now edit this part out but let's do one clean ad no you will edit this part out you will absolutely edit this part out tell you what i'm gonna say my fucking social security number so you have to edit it out okay let's hear it oh nine one three six six two yeah now you have to edit it in but we'll see you guys there no no no no let me tell you what I do. I listen to these two Jews.

Tell you what they do if they were you. Thanks, Christian Kerr. Very nice. Folksy. This is If I Were You, the only advice podcast on the internet, hosted by us. I'm Amir. And I'm Jake. Yeah.

And we are still getting, gathering, collecting submissions for our intro theme. We're trying to do a new one every episode, so keep them coming. Keep them coming. Some of them have been really great. Other ones have been truly awful. Yeah. So don't worry If you wrote an awful one We are writing you a scathing email as we speak Also, if you wrote an awful one

Don't worry Somebody has submitted one worse than the one you've recorded Right, and next week we're going to have an awful theme song episode No, no, no We just shamed the people with no musical talent Who tried to make something for free for us. Yeah, how dare you show effort? That's the first part of failure.

Thanks for your support, loser. But no thanks. Become a lawyer. So as always, we're going to be answering your questions. These are real questions from real people that were submitted to us via email at ifiwereyoushow at gmail.com. You can also listen to the podcast at ifiwereyoushow.com. Oh my god. We didn't get a single freaking email.

Holy shit, we just refreshed the page and yeah. Nothing. Just ten awful songs and no questions. We started recording without checking the email. That's how haphazard we are. God damn it. No, don't worry. We did get a lot of good questions.

And let's start with the first one. How about that? What a good place to start. Yeah, why not? Okay, this one is from, once again, making up a name to preserve your anonymity. This one's from, once again, making up a name to preserve your anonymity. This one's from Jamie. I've been feeling pretty guilty about what I've been doing to a girl who likes me. I know that this girl is into me because she has told me that she is.

That's a good sign. And has asked if I wanted to date her. And when she did, I told her I thought she was really great, but I couldn't be where she is right now because I have a lot going on, which is a lie. I just kind of like the fact that she's attracted to me. Am I a dick? That question was submitted by me, right? Yeah. This is your alter ego, Jamie.

Holy shit, buddy. I don't have any advice for you because I have the same problem. Which is what? We should get a drink, man. Let's talk. He beats the shit out of you. You treat girls badly, dude. This is a trap.

Done. Wait, what is this problem that you speak of? Well, it seems like you only like the thrill of the chase and you like feeling wanted by somebody, but you are too much of a dick yeah to actually uh commit to anybody or go after somebody that you really like so what's the mature thing to do and what's the immature thing that you do do the do-do what's the immature thing oh jesus christ you're drooling uh so i guess the the the right thing to do is not string somebody along, get over yourself, and don't have an ego that needs to be stroked by somebody liking you when you don't like them back.

She's a human being too. But don't think I'm talking down to you because what I do is just collect as many people as I can who like me so I can feel good about myself. Like a human collecting Pokemon cards. I just take these people's souls and add them to fuel my fire. Yeah. So you feel it's kind of like eating a shitload of french fries. It feels really good while you're doing it. And then you have like these really low moments where you're like, I am a monster. I'm filled with salt. I guess in the grander scheme of things, it's just like the idea of instant gratification

Versus long term personal growth Right yeah and back to french fries Super specifically sweet potato fries So would you say this is the same thing As eating junk food Or smoking cigarettes Yeah it's the instant gratification It's like this is great I'm happy right now But then later on you feel shitty And overall it's the instant gratification. It's like, this is great. I'm happy right now.

But then later on, you feel shitty. And overall, it's an unhealthy way to live. But if you live unhealthy until you die, would you say you've done a good job? Or you consider yourself a failure? If you live on the edge the entire time, that's the only way to live. So yeah, I'm always on the precipice of disaster. Total self-destruction. I'd rather live 30 years like me than 60 years like you, dad.

So what can you do to, you know, mature as a human? You tell me, man. I got no advice for this guy. We wrote this email together. What about the personal mantra thing? Oh, yeah. You know, I started doing this thing. My sister is a very good, one of my sisters, all my sisters are great people. One of them specifically is the best.

Actually, I ranked them right here. Don't read that. That was for us to look at. I don't know why we did that sick, sick exercise. So one of them told me to do a – what are those things called? Daily affirmation. Daily affirmation about love. And I've been doing it for the past few weeks. Nothing's changed yet, but I think it's sort of cementing itself in my brain. Everybody should have their own, so you can make up your own. Maybe say it every morning to remind yourself what you really want over your lifetime versus what you kind of want for that day. It's hard to say, okay, I'm going to not eat this thing or do this thing or smoke this thing that I want right now. Because it gives you instant pleasure for sacrificing something that you think will come in the future. The hope of being a better person.

But I guess you have to place your values on more of a long-term arc than the current well this is you this you are i'm hyper logical i'm hyper aware that like and i'm maybe too much so that like i'm starving myself i'm not getting like i skip french fries i ask i am the kind of guy that gets salad on the side of a turkey burger instead of fries on the side of a cheeseburger that's what i had for dinner last night. And I look at you and I'm like, God, I envy you for that moment. But then the meal is over. And then you're like, oh, we're both full. And then you can go on to envying me. You know, it's yeah, it's true. So like your envy lasts about 20 minutes while I devour a burger. And mine lasts for the rest of the night when you like happily go home with your girlfriend and go to

bed without feeling disgusting wake up and take a really nice solid nice poop yeah that's very regular nice poop yeah um i actually saw this documentary about happiness where it said that the the external like getting happiness from external factors like value and money fleets very instantly but the internal value like internal value of happiness of like being a better person and helping others is what lasts for a longer time shit we gotta stop this podcast i need to go volunteer at a cheeseburger festival yeah i heard there's a ton of like hot chick volunteers there at that cheeseburger festival let's get to uh some sillier questions because like i didn't yeah i didn't like the way that turned out we're both sort of um we're both

crying a little bit we're not we're not good right now actually oh we're holding hands this is too real uh okay next question from rob hey guys long time listener first time writer my girlfriend is still really close to her ex. Whenever I tell her that I don't feel comfortable with him being in her life, she gets really offended and says things like, Do you not trust me? I trust her. I just don't trust him.

He's been at the center of most of our relationship problems, and I don't think it's healthy for her to be friends with him. What should I do? Oh, no. I just, like, it sucks because they live together still. And I want her to move out. My girlfriend is currently on a date with her ex-boyfriend. Am I a D-bag for not wanting that?

The dude's just always on our couch, holding my girlfriend's hand, making out with her and shit. It's like, whoa, I trust you. I don't trust him to stop kissing you i don't think it's even about trust like who cares i'm not like you know maybe you don't have to think she's gonna like hook up with him but it's just if it makes you uneasy if it's like not something you like thinking about them doing then you can request for him her to stop yeah I think that's all you gotta do I think you just make your feelings very known and if she

doesn't care enough to change her actions to make you feel better then you should rethink your relationship entirely so you think maybe she likes her ex-boyfriend if she chooses her ex-boyfriend instead of him then she's actually had stronger feelings for her ex-boyfriend even if she doesn't have strong feelings for her ex-boyfriend instead of him then she's actually has stronger feelings for her

ex-boyfriend well i think even if she doesn't have strong feelings for her ex-boyfriend i think if you if the person you're in love with asks like tells you that um they feel a certain way and you do nothing to correct it and make them feel better then you know you don't care about that person enough so you think you can't this person uh rob should just tell his girlfriend flat out i don't feel comfortable with this and i think you should stop it's not about trust i just don't like it right i always think it's funny where like a guy is dating a girl and she cheats on him with another guy and then the guy gets pissed at the other guy and not the girlfriend right that's true what does that guy have? Sorry, man.

I can't. I don't know your boyfriend, but I respect the shit out of him. How dare you put my girlfriend under this magical spell, you jerk. It's true. She had no say in this matter, you ass.

I don't know. I've never punched another person in the face before, so what do I know? Damn right. I've only been another person in the face before, so what do I know? Yeah, damn right. I've only been punched in the face, actually. 30 times. I've been that.

I think I've just been that guy, your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend in this situation. Right. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like you got to just, you got to tell her. And when you're hanging out with the girlfriend who has a boyfriend, do you feel guilty? No, I don't feel anything. Right. But that's all the time.

You have to understand, I never feel anything. So all the advice you're getting is from a hollow nothing man. How does that make you feel? Jake is currently eating a cheeseburger. With a waitress on my lap. Wearing a shirt that says yolo drake drake all right next question this one's from tyrian tyrian tyrian the criterion collection i have a girlfriend but i think i want to be single things are going smoothly and she has

no idea i'm having doubts is it better to attempt the disc to distance myself to give her an idea Opposite advice time? Yeah. Let's do opposite advice. Okay, so this is what you should winky face do. You should string. If you don't like this girl right now, it will get better. You'll get more attracted to her in the future. String her along.

String her along. Just until you start to feel the feelings coming back. Exactly. And they will come back. Of course. Feelings always come back. Like you fall out of love with someone, and then one day, magically, you'll fall back in love with them. And you don't respect her enough to tell her the truth.

No. Who respects a girl that you love? I'm doing air quotes right now. Right, yeah, yeah. So I mean, don't tell her the truth. String her along. Just keep on. Oh, you know what?

You know, distance yourself. Don't even wait. Just like act like an asshole. Right. You act like an asshole. She'll leave you. And you know, then you don't have to do the hard, annoying thing of breaking up with somebody and then when she breaks you you can be like the bigger man be like dude i totally understand like i've been kind of a jerk and i think i actually kind of agree though

maybe we should break up yeah you know and then also you get that sympathy from all your friends and other girls you like you go to a bar and you look all sad like oh he just he got his heart broken his girlfriend dumped him like yeah and they don't know that you were just a jerk to her for so long that she had to break up with you. So, yeah, be honest with your girlfriend and tell her about the feelings that you're having. Maybe she's having similar ones and you guys can talk about it. Or maybe it's time to end the relationship. This is also sort of the same theme of instant gratification versus long-term happiness. Like, it's hard to break up with someone.

It's hard to sit someone down and be like, I just don't think I like you that much anymore. Of course. But if you're worried about hurting her, definitely the thing that hurts more is to like stay in a relationship for months longer than you should. Have somebody you love just start to be a different bad person. Right. And then have to break up with them. That might not hurt as much as breaking up. Like let's say breaking up is 100 out of 100.

And this is only like a 20 out of 100. But a 20 out of 100 for 100 days in a row is still a 2,000. Yeah, I mean, you're losing me with the math, but I'm sure it speaks to some of these nerds listening to the podcast. Think about it like this. I mean, you don't want to break up with her because it's really hard and sad. So you are going to be an asshole and make her break up with you? Make her do the hard thing? Yeah. Fuck off, Tyrion.

Be a man. I'm shouting at myself in a mirror right now. Be a man. Be a man. Still eating French fries. Always. All right. Next question. Help. I told my students. That's it. Still eating french fries Always Alright, next question

Help, I told my That's it Holy shit, give us your number We're gonna call 911 for you Well it sort of does go in that dark route It ends with Help, I told my school counselor that I wanted to kill myself Last week as a joke

And now they want me to come in for a weekly suicide watch Checkups But really I was just being dramatic And I don't need their help myself last week as a joke and now they want me to come in for a weekly suicide watch checkups but really i was just being dramatic and i don't need their help how do i get out of it without everyone think i'm thinking i'm suicidal jesus christ that is pitch black we should have a segment on the show where we bring somebody in just so we can slap them across the face are you surprised that you got in trouble after making a suicide joke to a school counselor? Dude, he was kidding. Let's call the counselor.

Okay, you need to learn how to do your job because some people that say they're going to kill themselves are being sarcastic. Yeah, not everyone who says they're going to kill themselves actually does it. Just a few of them do. Take a chill pill. You need to relax. Mr. Thompson. I think the school counselor might be just doing his job. Did we give this person a name?

Let's call him John Snow. John Snow. Cool. John, your school counselor is doing exactly what he's supposed to do. You're supposed to look for the signs and one of the signs is joking about being suicidal. Right. So your counselor is doing his job or her job of, you know, watching out for at risk kids.

And you are not doing your job by fucking with your counselor. Yeah. If you were kidding, you shouldn't have kid. And this is your punishment. And if you're not kidding and you were just being overly dramatic, but you are kind of sad, then it's good to see a counselor anyway. Totally. So whether or not you're suicidal, the fact that you're even making jokes about it may be a sign that you should be talking to someone like an adult or to man-children on a podcast like us.

I don't know what this professional can offer that is any more valid than what we have to say. You're wearing flannel pants and a muscle shirt right now, and and you're being like you look like somebody who wants to kill themselves i look like someone who killed themselves last week emotionally i've given up wow yeah we really let that sink in huh i wanted you to feel it. Alright, next question. Dear Jake and Amir, I've started seeing this girl. She's really nice and everything, but I recently found out she's a virgin

and plans on saving herself for marriage. Whoa, yeah. That's called the get out of the relationship buzzer. Ditch the prude, find a nude. Find a nude? I don't know, it's the best rhyme I could think of. Love the cuff, dude. Come on. But how are you supposed to find a nude. Find a nude? I don't know. It's the best rhyme I could think of. It's off the cuff, dude.

Come on. But how are you supposed to find a nude? I don't know. I guess ditch a normal woman and hang out with a stripper is a different way, a non-rhyming way of saying what you just did. I apologize. You can finish the question. I feel awful about myself. Ditch the prude and find a nude.

That's what this episode is called to me a physical attraction is important to a relationship so should i stop seeing her or are there ways to be intimate without going past quote-unquote second base so saving yourself for marriage you can't even go to third base with this girl i don't know is he asking if he is if he's allowed to get a blow job you should ask her i. I can take blowjays till marriage. It's tough because it feels like you're being shallow. You're like, oh, so if you can't sleep with me, you don't want to be with me? No, no, no.

It's not about that. But it is kind of about that. It's entirely about that. I mean, talking about shallow, Jesus. I've been shallow this entire podcast. Why stop now? I mean, physical aspects of a relationship are very important to some people and if it's important to you then you're with the wrong person isn't it

important to everybody what percentage like if if the relationship is a pie chart how important is physical versus emotional and like personality attraction i imagine it's different it's a different chart for a lot of different people maybe for for this girl, that's a very, well, she doesn't know yet, but I don't know. Yeah, I think it starts, the first thing, like when you first meet someone, it might be like 100% physical, 0% emotional. And then over time, the emotional personality slice grows and grows and grows. As people get uglier and uglier and uglier you're left with just the human shell and the personality wow but how do you know if she like has has all

messed up pussy or some shit man like i ain't trying to take her home on our wedding night and be like oh damn oh no what i do seriously though how are those daily affirmations coming um what that's actually what you repeat to yourself every morning dear Jake

how do I know if her pussy is not gonna be like oh no what did I do you deserve love I don't deserve love um

yeah I really I think if I were you I would probably get out of the relationship. I mean, tell marriage, that's years for some people. Well, that's why a lot of these people who are saving themselves for marriage rush into marriage maybe. Right, that's true.

Because they want to get to the physical part. Maybe if they were able to have sex. You hear that, Pope, whatever your name is. It's just the Pope's idea that's the only reason it's still a rule the pope why'd you do that man if only the pope changed his mind and then there's the idea that girls are like trying to like find their way around it like loopholes right like anal sex yeah yeah i definitely feel like the pope is not he's not advocating anal sex and blowjobs? Yeah. I definitely feel like the Pope is not advocating anal sex and blowjobs. Well, their theory is that God thinks it's okay.

Anal sex is okay? Maybe, yeah. God thinks that? God's like only into anal sex. Like, dude, you hate that? You put it in the butt? All right, you can still go to heaven. Hashtag dope.

You get to go to special heaven where it's just, it's my special club in heaven. It's all anal sex all day. It's situated on the top of an enormous asshole. Oh, God. The ground is mushy. It looks like hell to everybody else who doesn't like anal sex. But to you, it's a depraved little slice of utopia. Heaven and hell are the same thing.

Just whether or not you like living on a giant sphincter oh god put that on a bumper sticker absolutely not um so yeah i guess if i were you i would also if physical attraction is important to you and it seems like it is then this certain situation isn't working out also she seems very religious and you don't seem very religious right i mean it's a it's an indicator of a bigger problem beyond just the sex right her life views are different it's not like oh well i like this girl but i can't fuck her it's like i like this girl and she has a different outlook and way of life than me right exactly so dump the prude and hook up with a nude Hell yeah Next question Let's remind people where they can submit questions

That's why you're here man Really that's the only reason? And that's why I'm leaving Hi dad You're insulting me again You're stuck to the chair because you've gained so much weight Eating cheeseburger and fries I resent this I resent this line of accusations You insulted me again. You're stuck to the chair because you've gained so much weight eating cheeseburger and fries.

I resent this. I resent this line of accusations. What do you think you're going to eat for lunch today? Well, I had a cheeseburger and french fries last night. Today, since I'm feeling awful, I think I'll have a salad, actually. Oh, so you're one of those people that vacillates back and forth between the two. Yeah, that's what the Daily App from me. I vacillating back and forth between... Oh, my God. Everything.

My entire life is a vacillation. Well, you're getting your wisdom teeth out tomorrow. You should eat as much solid food as you can. Oh, that's true. Because you're going to be on, like, an all-liquid diet for a couple days. Yeah. And, uh...

Sorry, I almost... Just imagine... What? I just almost made a terrible joke, and I'm glad I stopped myself. Say it. Maybe we'll edit it out 100% you won't do that for me

Moving right along Okay next question Did we remind people where to send the questions You're literally worthless now And he's finally said it All these questions are coming to us From real people and sending to us Oh my god Real people and sending to us.

Oh, my God. Real people who are sending us the questions. You know what? Fuck it. We tried and failed. We have to move on. We can't give you the email address. People wonder why this podcast is only a half an hour long. It's because we can't or mainly I can't speak coherently for longer than 20 minutes at a time.

You can't speak coherently at all. Yeah. It's not a good thing. You can send us your emails at ifiwereyoushow at gmail.com. Yes. We get so many great questions, and if we don't try to answer your question, don't be offended.

It's not personal. We just answer the questions that we think we can provide a humorous answer to. Yeah. Speaking of which, here's our next question it comes from aria aria i like that name here's my problem my friend is 230 pounds i on the other hand am very petite so when we go out partying i wear revealing clothing and so then she thinks it's okay for her to do the same i want to tell her she's embarrassing herself but i don't know how how do i tell her that the clothes that she wears aren't flattering without straight out telling her that she's fat?

I still want her to come out and party with me. No, your problem is that you're a jerk. And you're awesome. Revealing clothing, partying, you're petite, can we hang out? Can I string you along for two months and then be estranged from you for the rest of my life, please? You know, you're not being very fair to this girl. Can you imagine being a petite lady wearing revealing clothes and you have a 230 pound lady friend, which is not, you know, morbidly obese, but overweight. I think that

might be morbidly obese. And she's wearing revealing clothing too. And maybe you don't, you're not offended by it, but you see that it's not doing her any favors in the social scene. Right. I think, well. Maybe the lesson here is that you shouldn't be wearing revealing clothing either. If she follows your example. But I don't, so I wouldn't want to advocate against anybody, you know, not doing them.

I think you gotta you do you and let her do her if she's okay with all like the negative attention she gets then you should be too yeah just would you say love yourself is a good uh a good way to live are you asking me no I was talking to myself I think the answer is no I hate hate myself. Cool. I hate myself too. But is there a gentle and friendly way to tell her that she's wearing too – let's say the weight wasn't an issue. Is there a friendly way to tell someone that she's wearing too revealing of clothing? I'm just a big fan of not having that kind of uncomfortable conversation, I think you can steer her life in a different direction. Like if you went shopping with her, you know,

like you go say, Hey, let's go shopping. She tries on something that she doesn't look bad in. You say, I really liked that. I would wear that out on Friday or whatever. Right.

I wouldn't wear what I wear because it's a small and you're an extra, extra, extra large. I wouldn't say anything like that. The end. I'm trying to look at how much time. I think we have time for one more question. Uno mas.

Uno mas. Okay. Here's a good one. I think it's a good one. You know what? I know it's a good one. It's the best question yet. This one comes from Circe.

Circe. Circe. This is Circe. Circe. Circe. This is Circe, her name. Hi, I'm a female in high school, and I have to apply to colleges in the summer. I have had my mind made up for a couple years that I'm going to school for engineering, and all the schools I've looked at are mainly engineering schools. All of a sudden, I feel like I don't want to be an engineer anymore. I told my parents, and they got mad.

I know it's too late to change my mind now, and I don't even know what I'd rather do, Wow. Holy shit. I guarantee no decision you make before the age of 18 will be the biggest anything in your life. I also promise you it's not too late to change your mind. Holy shit. If I didn't change my mind what I wanted to do when I was 18, I would actually be doing exactly what I am doing right now. And it would be the biggest regret of your life. And it is.

Yeah. Before college, this is – and even through college and even slightly after college is the time in your life where you're – And even after that. Yeah. You're allowed to change your mind. Do whatever you want. Exactly. But it's not – yeah, it's not – if you're already feeling this is going to be the biggest regret of your life, do you actually don't want to go to engineering school anymore?

Or is there some other pressure that you're feeling, like you don't think you'll succeed at engineering school? Because if it's that, you absolutely won't. Yeah, you're writing into a podcast. Certainly nobody that does that is good at engineering anything. You – I just – This is a little mantra. Say it with me, okay? Okay. Fuck you, mom and dad, okay?

I want everybody that's listening to the podcast right now to repeat that. No, no. You're driving in your car. You ride them on the subway. You sit in your computer at work. All right, just one, two, three with me. Fuck you, mom and dad. Saying it into the abyss while you're in a car with your mom. What are you listening to?

This is amazing. I love this podcast. I too hate my mother, your grandmother. I think it's not too late to change your mind. You're young. You should do what you're passionate about. Even if you don't know what it is yet, you should go to school with a clean slate, like figure out something that you do want to do. I promise you, you will change your mind when you find out what that thing is too. Right, exactly. You're not going to, nobody at age 18 knew what they were going to do and stuck with it for the rest of their life. But it's hard to hear that you're young because whenever you're hearing something, it's always the oldest you've ever been. It's true. But like, I don't even think when i was 18 our jobs existed no like web series makers guys i forgot that's what our jobs were it says it on my business card web series makers

i scrolled it on the back of a tgi friday's card guys question, question mark. Question mark, question mark, exclamation point. So much like the lady before this, you're saying do whatever you want. Yes. I almost feel like that's almost always my advice, except for do whatever you want unless what you want makes you a bad person, then try to change. Oh, so as long as it's not negatively affecting anybody else. Yeah.

But maybe try engineering school. Then if you don't like it then you can change your mind or go to a school that has a good engineering program and good something else oh that's good so don't go to a school that's just engineering open your options just a little bit the school i went to had like a great engineering school but it also had a great other types of school and now you want to tell everybody where it was okay Okay, it was Yale. Big freaking deal. I went to Yale. Holy shit, you're a liar.

All right, I think that's it. I think that's our half hour for the week. That is our half hour for the week. How do you want to end it? What do you want to do? I don't want to end it. What? This is insane.

Another half hour. Here we go. Yes, thank you so much for continuing to listen to our podcast, sending emails in. We're reading all the tweets and Facebook posts and everything, and it warms our hearts. It really does. Thank you, guys. Actually, why don't we end it with the old Stoney song? Yeah, we like this song a lot, so we're going to end it with one of our favorite theme songs from Stoney.

You can listen to his stuff at Steph Comedy on YouTube. Later, everybody. Later. If I were you If I were you If I were you I'll tell you what I would do If only I were you. Show.com.

If I were you. Show at gmail.com.