Segments - 532: Playing Hooky

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

In this episode we discuss skipping work, skipping school, and a six letter version of Wordle. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. The $5 meal deal at McDonald's means you get to pick between a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. I got money. Get the $5 meal deal today. Prices and participation may vary for a limited time only. If you were me, if I were you, I emailed in, tell me what to do.

All of my flaws, all of my sins When I get back up, they come right back again I'm trying to think, should I just guess? I'm thinking it's no, then again I'm thinking it's yes I'm not fine, what do I do? I'm not fine, but what do I do? And I know I've been trying But I got problems that I try denying

Almost there, I'm so close I'm spiraling out of control But there's a podcast for me I'll ask them and so please help me if I were you. If I were you. Help me if I were you. If I were you If I were you Cool.

Did that sound familiar to you at all? Yes, I thought it was a Weezer song. Yeah, it's not. Yeah, yeah. It became clear to me that it was not. But it had that kind of like doof, doof type of thing. Where I come from is about... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It also kind of reminded me of... At the bottle of every bottle, something's wrong, something's right. Very good. The words in my head. But it's not. It's a parody of Fallout by Mariana's Trench. Mariana's Trench. Interesting. it's a song about fallout boy oh that's good yeah good isn't that band called mariana's trench that's a bad name for a band i

think it's kind of funny mariana trench yeah it's like the deepest part of the ocean, right? Mm-hmm. So they made it a possessive. Yeah, so it's like the deepest song we could write is Mariana's Trench. Oh, wait, is that, that's the name of the song? No, the name of the band is Mariana's Trench. The name of the song is Fallout. Right, okay. Good name for a song, not a great name for a band, I don't think. It's hard to find. The SEO is garbage. It's probably like, did you mean Mariana Trench?

Right, exactly. Showing you results for Mariana Trench. Yeah. Like, what if it was like Marinera's Trench or something, and it's like them playing in a pasta sauce, but it still do did you mean because it looks like a type i think so i think it it's good it's a good pun but it's bad to stake your whole claim on something like that what about stake your whole clam and it's like a steak that looks like a clam or some i mean you're grasping yeah you're grasping at straws What about grasping at straws for the name of a band? But then what's the pun? There's not even a pun? I meant, yeah, it doesn't have to be a pun, but I guess it could be clasping at straws.

And it's like five straws as like the band and everyone's like in a little clasp or something like that. I don't hate that. You finally got to a good one. Wow. Clasping at straws. Everyone in the band has a clasp. Yeah, exactly. Like, band names are important, but then also like Kings of Leon is a big band, and like, that doesn't mean anything. Right, it doesn't. But then like, you search Kings of Leon, and like, you'll just find Kings of Leon, you know? You have to, and it's all, you know how to say it, you know how to spell it.

That's. Yeah. What's the, what's the guy that, something Lincoln? He's written songs for us before. Oh yeah, Dear Lincoln. Dear Lincoln. That's a good one. Yeah.

That's a good one. That's another one that wouldn't necessarily come up. It would be like, here's a fucking letter that somebody wrote to Lincoln. It's not like, Kings of Leon is just that. There's no other thing that's that. Yeah. What about Nickelback? That's kind of just them, you know?

That's a football position too. So it's kind of also kind of confusing. Blink-182 is perfect. That's the right amount. Admit that shit. Because it means nothing. Admit that shit. Yeah. right amount because it means nothing. Actually, Kings of Leon is probably the most famous band

that I don't know anything about. I know the name Kings of Leon, and they're really super popular, but I couldn't tell you a song. I don't know who they are, what they look like, who they dated. Are they still around when they were popular? I mean, I know a Kings of Leon song, Your Sex is on Fire. I know because Dave Rosenberg went to a Kings of Leon concert and was obsessed with them. Do you remember this, when he wrote a song?

Dave wrote a Kings of Leon song? He wrote, I think he was inspired by Kings of Leon and he wrote a song. I think like, I'm not even, I think he wrote a song in earnest, like earnestly wrote lyrics to his song. And he showed them to me. And I was like, so, I thought it was so cute, but I couldn't stop laughing. Like that I couldn't stop laughing. And I felt really bad because he was like, you think it's funny, but he didn't want me to think it was funny.

Yeah, he was vulnerable. And he's like, I'm going to try to pour my heart out. Yeah, I was really only laughing. It was a good song. It was only laughing because I knew I shouldn't laugh. But also, I went backstage to a Kings of Leon concert at the Hollywood Bowl with Ben Schwartz because Kings of Leon at the time were huge fans of College Humor's movie Coffee Town. So they invited Ben to a concert, and he took you as a plus one. He brought me as a plus one.

I went backstage. I met Chris Martin, and I met Jennifer Lawrence. And these are not... I mean, Chris Martin is from Coldplay. He's not. Yeah, no, it was just like,

this is the clientele. This is the people who are backstage at the Kings. They had sold out Hollywood Bowl. Yeah. It was an insane event backstage. They're telling Ben how much they loved coffee town and why it's such a funny movie. And then Chris Martin is there and they're like,

oh, this is Chris. And then, yeah, they, they all look kind of like hot, blonde, long-haired rocker guys. Yeah. It's kind of like Arcade Fire, but I know about Arcade Fire. Like, I kind of like Arcade Fire. Kings of Leon, I don't know anything about.

Yeah, I don't really, I don't know that much about them. And when you went to the concert, was it good? Or were you like, this sounds like I'm at a dentist's office waiting room, and they're playing Easy Listening? I thought it was, it was like fun to be at, because it was like a Hollywood Bowl concert. It's really, it's big, it's flashy, it's loud. I think I knew like more songs of theirs than I thought that I would.

I feel like I knew like three songs. And then the other times times it was fun to be with Ben. We were in like a cool box. So you can't really have a bad time at that, that type of concert. Yeah. If you're in a box,

like that rocks, it doesn't matter what the music is, you know? Yeah. If you, if you're in a box, it rocks. Yeah.

Even if, even if you're just watching like a white socks versus red socks're in a box it rocks yeah even if even if you're just watching like a white socks versus red socks game in a box and like you have no fucking rooting interest it rocks to be in the box like it's just a nice vip treatment to have that day yeah and they do give you food we had um bagels and cream cheese. What a weird food to put in a fucking nighttime concert. It was morning. Yeah. It was 11.14 a.m. at the Hollywood Bowl.

Did you say who wrote this song? No, it doesn't matter. Oh, my God, man. We'll just say the Dear Lincoln guy or whatever. All right, cool. I love that. It was actually a guy who's been writing some recent hits for us, David Adeyemi.

Oh, I remember David Adeyemi. Yeah, he's sort of pumping out the hits. Thank you, David, for writing that for us. Yes, yes, yes. All right, we're back on our respective coastss back in the old setup for now for now everything is in a state of flux as we build out our offices and studios thanks for watching uh maybe one or two episodes ago we were able to record together in our new studio um yeah you can watch that on our youtube hell yeah you can watch these on our youtube too but you know it's less exciting no they still should subscribe well subscribe and watch this one so you can kind of like

see the difference yeah i'm getting uh i got like reminder emails because it's been exactly two years since like the original og lockdown i like my friends being like, hey, we should on Saturday night get together on Zoom and catch up on what we've been doing this week. Remember that part where it was so novel to stay at home for two weeks that you set up Zooms just to see a friend or something? Yeah.

I can finally delete those calendar reminders. Jesus Christ. It was March 23rd or something, 2020. Wait, and what happened? It's been exactly two years since then. Wow. Fucking hell.

All right. Let's try to answer some questions. This is an advice show after all. Actually, it's the only advice show on the internet hosted by us. I'm Amir. I am Jake. Although, maybe I'm Leon. And I'm the king of.

That's pretty cool. Okay, these are questions without a theme. But ultimately, I feel like we can help these people out. We got a few Wordle related questions let's save that for a little bit while longer because once we start talking Wordle I mean there's no stopping us Wordle is fucked

my situation is fucked here's a question about playing hooky and it's sort of COVID related so this 31 year old woman we'll call her Baskin Robbins because she's this 31 year old woman we'll call her baskin robbins because she's a 31 year old uh oh good she's been in the medical field for 10 years and writing to see if i'm wrong or right for playing hooky from work i often have to cover for other people in the office because they don't

have daycare and that uh they don't have the daycare that day and to be honest a lot of people at work have been having covid scares or straight up getting COVID. So I got pretty sick on Sunday and called off work. And I went to the doctor on Monday and he said to stay at home until we get the results from the COVID test. Well, I was home on Monday, but I actually got that call

that the test was negative on Tuesday afternoon. Is it wrong to wait until tomorrow, Wednesday afternoon, to tell them and take one more day? It's paid leave, so I do feel slightly guilty about the extra day. Is it wrong or is it self-care? Do I deserve the turdy? Thanks. Love, Baskin.

J. Robbins. Okay. Wow. I mean, I think I've played hooky in way, way worse situations. Or like situations where I had less of a right to have a cheeky day off. Mm-hmm. So. And also, you're still sick.

So you could almost convince yourself that you're doing the right thing. It's not fun to have like, it sounds like, you know, your Sunday got interrupted by getting sick. That could be your day off. Then on Monday, you're at the doctor's office. Then on Tuesday, you're thinking you have COVID. That's not exactly time off of work. It's really just like, give yourself Wednesday.

That is a nice, it's a mental health day. And then if it's Wednesday, like, what are you going to go back to work on Thursday? And like, then it's just Friday. Take the weekend. You found out on Thursday, but you're still symptomatic. You want to play it safe. At this point, it's almost Memorial Day. Let's just take the summer. Let's take the summer. That way we're recalibrated. We sort of recenter ourselves, as The Rock puts it. Anchor yourself. You are the hero.

You have to be operating at full health. We want you to take the break. And it's just one test. That doesn't really signify anything. It could be a false negative. You can convince yourself that it's a false negative. So you can convince yourself that you do need to take another test, and it can't be a rapid. Those are not accurate. I think that you can and should, you know, like there's, it's one thing to rationalize

taking a day, which you totally can do, you deserve it. But then it's another thing to remember to tell people what you need and to say, I need some more time off. I've been covering for a lot of people. You shouldn't just be like, okay, thank God I'm sick. I'm going to get out of work. I mean, it's a really hard time to be in the medical field, obviously. But I think that, you know, everybody values the work that you do everybody thinks you're doing a great job and say that you need some time for yourself and uh have have folks

cover for you just like you've been covering for them uh and if you need to feel a little sick there's nothing that makes you feel sicker than taking a covid test because they sort of uh shove a q-tip up your nose and then you start sneezing and then you start coughing and then like the reaction is basically a cold. It's like it's giving yourself a temporary cold and then you're sort of nervous about the results so you're feeling like kind of anxious

and then also your nose is running and it's like okay this is it I have it. Yeah that's it we forwarded this email to your supervisor. So that was it. We forwarded this email to your supervisor. So, so... That was easy. Nice.

What's the origin of playing a hooky? A hooky, of all things. Where do you imagine that beginning? I played hooky. The first person who sort of didn't go to school or work was actually playing a game called hooky. The first person who sort of didn't go to school or work was actually playing a game called hooky. And that's why it's called that. I spent all day playing hooky instead of going to this thing. And now everything is called playing hooky. When I was little, I used to always try to

get out of school because I missed my mom. And I would try to go to the nurse and I try to get her to send me home. And every single day, she'd let me lie down for a little bit and made me go back to class. And then like, there was one day where I lost my jacket, and I was pretty upset. And I went, I wanted to go home. So I said I was sick. And she said to go back to class, And then I started crying. And I guess that made her believe that I had to actually be sick. So she sent me home. She told my mom that she thought I might get migraines. And as a kid, I was prone to headaches, but I didn't get like crazy migraines or anything. It's hard to sort of

figure out the difference when you're six yeah but i i used to always i used to get like some headaches every once in a while um but then i got this like get out of jail free card because everyone thought that i was dealing with chronic migraines and i would go home twice a week sometimes. Blank fucking paper boy on Nintendo. Go to the nurse. Like, hey, I got a migraine. Yeah, sorry. Blank crash bandicoot. Another migraine.

I must go home to be with mother. I wonder if your mom was like flattered or kind of annoyed. Yeah, I think ultimately annoyed. And then I'd get home and I'd try to watch TV and I'd be like, well, I thought you had a migraine. So it's the only thing that makes me feel better, watching Jerry Springer. Jerry, Jerry. All right, I think I found the origin of hooky. It seems like it was in a dictionary of Americanisms in 1848. Interesting.

Because somebody was on the hook for something, and then they didn't show up. So that's the origin of it. So it's like, oh, I'm going to go do something off the hook or playing a hooky or something like that. Interesting. Interesting. It still doesn't make a lot of sense.

No. God, no. But at least we sort of vaguely know why it's called that and when it started. Yeah. That might be the first thing in 540 episodes that we've learned or wisdom that we've been able to impart on the show. I think

we've done more than that. I don't know. There was the time where we sort of joked about Matt Damon for six months, but I don't think that actually taught anything. Nobody learned anything that day.

We sort of led a two-man crusade against mutual friend John Wolfe to slander his reputation right yeah there was the surge dude which was sort of a runner for three years not rooted in anything factual or actual yeah I became a godfather to Yeah, that was sort of a goof as well. Interesting. Yeah, that's right. I mean, I do love those kids, but yeah.

They're all 21 now. Want to feel old? All right, let's take a break. Thanks to the sponsors. Come back and let's see if we can get into these Wordle queues after these. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep making content you love.

It's a survey that lets us know what you think about the ad experience. But in order to do that, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience. The survey is quick, easy, and free to support segments. It'll take two minutes, and you'll be helping us a lot by taking it. It's at gum.fm slash segments to fill out the audience survey. That's right. So if you've been talking about the ads somewhere else online, now is your chance to make your voice heard, folks. Take this survey,

and we will read the results. It's G-U-M dot F-M slash S-E-G-M-E-N-T-S. Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer

support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change,

but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah, which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com.

Oh, vision lifters. Yeah, vision lifters with a Z. And not where you think. And it's notters with a Z. And not where you think. And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one, build a store or an online portfolio, the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code SEGMENTS

to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to squarespace.com slash segments. Segments. You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code SEGMENTS when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace.

And we're back. Jake, do you have any? Oh, it's a live student. Mom, I'm coming. yes yes i do and it's to try surfing yes we hung 10 in mexico together yes we was totally tubular We took a trip It was radical We did some real classic activities We fished, we ATV'd And yes, we surfed We did surf And I'm not just talking about surfing the web

Right, which we mostly did Yes, I did that a lot You played wordle on the beach For sure, for several hours while I went on hard word swimming. I went on a jog. I came back. I took a rest. It ends with P-A-D.

You were sitting there on your fucking phone. Not even on a towel. Just sitting in the sand. It was ahead. You don't think of when it does a fucking U-turn like that. I had thought of that. I had thought of it because it took me two minutes to do it.

Well, in line while we were getting coffee. And then you wasted your whole entire day. Tell me about the surfing, though. Surfing was fucking amazing. So I'd tried surfing once before when I was in Mexico with my brother. We just rented boards on the beach and took them out to the water to try to figure it out ourselves. And it was kind of disastrous. It was like, you just get tossed around.

You have no idea what the hell you're doing. And when to do it specifically. Yeah. So I was like, surfing's not for me. It's not going to take. And then, but I'd always like wanted to give it another shot. And then we got actual lessons. We got surf instructions.

We went out in the water. Basically each one of us had our own instructor. Yeah. Like shoving the board, telling us when to paddle, when to stand up. I downloaded, there was a photographer there because everybody's trying to get paid.

So, there's this photographer that was taking photos of us. Maybe I can pull them up and discuss the events while we show it because we are recording this. Let's see if I can share my screen. That's right. Share preview. Okay. Can you see this?

Yeah. All right. First photo he took. Just me zipping up your... Yeah, zipping up your wetsuit. Yeah. And so at first we weren't going to do wetsuits, and then I said, you know what?

Let's just fucking go for it. What if the water is chilly? I want to look like a surfer at the very least if I can't get on my board. Thank God we did do wetsuits because getting a rash from the board is a real thing. You really rip your skin against it. Yes. I also bruised. I was on the board just as a boogie board, and one of the waves came, and you sort of fly up and land on it.

I felt like a bruised sternum slash rib cage area. Yeah, for sure. So it hurt just to be on the board. Yeah, I have that as well. And then as you can see, we hit the water and the board was heavier than we thought. You can't just lift it up and drag it. You sort of have to hold the nose of it. Yeah.

So you lift it up and you drag it. And then, I mean, first we have to learn how to like, what the routine of getting on the board was, which is, you know, roughly getting on your knees first and then hopping up at a certain point. That's right. But we didn't necessarily know how or when to do that. And the waves were kind of intense. They were strong. They weren't necessarily very tall, but they were, I don't know how to describe it, but very strong. Yeah, it was a strong current to be sure. And they were constantly

breaking. So, like, you know, you couldn't duck under them because you had the board, so you kind of had to toss it over. Yeah, there I am on my first wave, too afraid to stand. He's yelling at me to stand up, and I was going so fast. I was like, how on earth? How do you stand up? You can't stand up. You're basically, you're using it as a boogie board but it's attached to your ankle yeah i mean i thought it was just kind of like for fun but like no that ankle thing like came in handy because like a lot of times this the surfboard would get thrown by the wave and then like half a second later i'd feel my leg get yanked ah yeah uh cohen got up cohen got up first he was pretty good at it yeah cohen got up the boards are very the the boards that they gave us were huge and foam so like you can really stand

on them and they wouldn't tip over very easily yeah those are the beginner boards yes but don't worry we figured it out look at you this is you getting fully up at a certain point yeah that one that i'm i know that i'm falling right there but like the the way because like the board is going back a little too far yeah but the way this looks it looks like i really like caught a wave yes exactly this is the best looking photo of you surfing i think for sure and look at the next one that's yeah that's one and two right there you you that's a different it's a different wave it's a different wave but yeah that's one and two right there you you that's a different it's a different wave it's a different wave but yeah that's that's what most of the day was and it hurts to fall like it's not

like it's like oh you're in the water because the surfboard continues you fall continues yeah get wrecked by the wave you like hit the like this the sand is like waist deep there so sometimes i would like fall and actually hit the bottom um and then by the time you i didn't even do this part where like it takes you all the way to shore and you're just like slowly like walking into shore that seems like an anticlimactic ending that i didn't even get to experience right this is the only only photo of me sort of getting up again it looks like'm fucking carving, but I'm either getting up slowly or falling down fast. And we should say that we didn't know how to time these waves. So, like, the guy with the instructor, who's just like this cool teenager surfer boy, would just hold our boards and be like, paddle, paddle, paddle, and then throw us into the wave at the exact right time. The only reason we caught any wave is because we were pushed onto one and even then whenever i fell

the the guy would be like what happened buddy like come on you gotta stand and i don't know if he was actually disappointed or if that's the sort of his sense of humor but either way i felt like i really disappointed him here's marty catching some few waves and then good you you said you went back right you went back the morning i left you went back, right? You went back the morning I left, you went back to try to surf again? That's correct. For me, this surfing really took. I was thinking about it the rest of the time. I was like, I want to get better. I like surfing a lot. And I went back to the exact same place. I basically just paid for another lesson. Okay.

And yeah, the next, on, um, the day that you guys all left, I spent another hour out there, but with like just me, it was like constant. He was like, I would surf in, come back out. He'd tell me, go, go, go, get on again. And he's giving me a lot of instruction, like even yelling. Sometimes when I got up, he's like more towards the middle of the board. So I would like walk up towards the middle of the board. Oh, interesting. Like an intermediate lesson.

Yeah, almost like, it seemed like it was, yeah, it was like, maybe not intermediate, but like lesson number two, for sure. And it got to the point where I could basically get up every single time. Oh, wow. The waves are very, very small. But you know, like the first time I went, if I stood up, I was surprised and didn't really know how it happened. And the second time, I was mad at myself if I didn't get up because I knew that I should be able to get up. I think I got up more than I fell the second time.

So the question is, do you continue the hobby? Do you lean into it more? Do you get a board? Can you time it yourself? Or do you need more lessons? I have already looked into it. There's a bunch of surf schools out in the Rockaways. And a lot of people surf there year round.

You get a four millimeter thick wetsuit. No way. With a hood and gloves and shoes. No, you don't need to do that. That's insane. I'm not going to do it during the winter, but I am going to do it. Winter surfing?

I'm doing it in April. Yeah, I mean, you don't have to do it when it's cold out. You can make it a summer sport. Why are you braving the cold in any capacity buying a special wetsuit? You know, some people love that shit. That was like- I think I would like it too. sport why are you braving the cold in any capacity buying a special wetsuit you know some people love that shit that was like i think i would i think i would like it too it's what john zanussi did uh old programmer at college humor he would like in the middle of

winter like show up to work uh having gone surfed and i'm like it's too cold for me to walk to work and you went into the ocean today yeah it's also's also, I think it's just getting an old, like getting older thing. Because I used to be impressed that he would do it in the cold, but I was even more impressed that he was just getting up at 6am to surf in Long Island and then get to New York or like get to work by 9am. But now I'm like, oh yeah, I go to the gym at seven sometimes. I could wake up, I've like gotten up at 5.30 to go on long bike rides before work.

I could get up at 5.30, drive out to Rockaway, surf for an hour, come back, change, still get to work on time. That sounds lovely to me. I know, and that sounds so intense for me. Like it seems like after I had surfed, I'm like, that was my activity. That's the only thing I want to do that day.

I feel bruised. It's like I went skiing. That was everything. I can't imagine doing that in the winter and then like, all right, now it's time to work all day. Right. See, I wonder, because I didn't feel like that after day one, but I felt like that after day two. And if I felt like, I still feel sore. If I felt the way I do now after the first day, I probably wouldn't have gone back. But I'm glad because now I love it and I'm in pain.

Do you think you could time it yourself now? Or you still need the guy to say paddle, that we were at in Mexico, I feel like third time there, I would be able to definitely not do it as well, but I could probably make that next step. I don't think that I'd feel as comfortable just grabbing a board, going to a beach that I've never been to, and trying it. I'll definitely do one of these surf schools. Yeah. Jeez. But yeah, they rent you you all of the gear too. I don't want to buy anything yet. And then the next step is snowboarding. So, you can do something like all those cool dudes are like, yeah, in the winter, I go skiing and surfing in Australia. And then I come back up here and I

surf. I have snowboarded and skied before and I don't like it at all. I don't love cold weather. I think the falling in the snow is like much more painful than anybody lets on. And it doesn't, it just doesn't do anything for me. I would, I'd rather surf in the summer,

surf, climb, bike. And then in the winter, I just take it all. Hibernate. Yeah, I'll go inside and I'll do like a trip to Mexico. I would definitely do this trip that we did once a year. Yeah, the weather was perfect in like late winter. It was amazing. All right, cool.

Two surfers now just chatting about surfing because that's sort of who we are, I guess, in a way. Does it make you feel sad that you cut your hair? Oh, I did think about that. But no, ultimately, my hair looked bad when it was long. So I'm happy now. Yeah. Actually, it might be cool.

Yeah, I'll grow it out again. Not only if you grow it out again, but if you like get surf wax, you know what I mean? Yeah. You should at least order some wax. I should. Yeah, I won't have a board, but I'll bring my own wax and they'll be like, you don't have to wax this. It's a foam board.

Really? So I thought we could just wax surfing. You say, well, you're waxing. I need a rash guard and a shin guard and a mouth guard. But I have wax. Yeah, you get one of those winter wetsuits, but you just do it to like lay on the beach and read a fucking GQ. It's also middle of summer, so you're burning up in this thing.

It's four millimeters thick, like you said. There's a hood. You're overheating. Surfing is one of the things I've like always loved the vibe of and not been able to do. So now even the smallest hint of being able to do it makes me really excited. I want in. Yeah, you want the culture. You want a sandy car more than anything. Definitely. Dude, I got the truck for it. It's like if I could put a board, a bike, climbing shoes, I mean, my God, man. the truck for it. It's like if I could put a board, a bike, climbing shoes.

I mean, my God, man. Do you even have to use those equipment at that point? As long as you have a sandy car and a bike on top? Yeah, that's true. Usually, I think if you have a sandy enough car, you show up anywhere and they'll just give you the gear. That's really cool. All right, let's take another break. Thanks to more sponsors.

Come back and answer more questions after these massages. Yes. Thank you to DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o, DraftKings. The NFL is back. That's correct. And the best part of football season is checking out the post-game stats. I want to know which wideout scored more than two tutties,

which QB threw for less than 350 yards, and if you think you can pick who will do what before the kickoff, then you should play pick six from DraftKings, which is an official daily fantasy partner of the NFL. Wow. So if you like watching football, and it sounds like you do. I do. Yeah, I do a lot.

This can really heighten your joy. That's right. I grew up a raiders fan and now i'm just a fan of the league in general but i still have a fan of gambling enough yes you're a fan of gambling yes and i do have an affinity for the silver and black so if you like football as much as me which is not likely because i do know a lot like do you know what a nickelback uh does in a cover two defense or like do you know what a play action passes like these are like some advanced things that i know that you wouldn't i basically know run and hail mary you actually know both of those

yeah running is when you run and then hail mary is when you chuck it right damn i think you should download the draft kings pick six out select between two and six players for you to put some money on you select between two and six players and choose if they'll have more or less of a stat it's that simple and for all first time pick six players check this out new customers play five dollars on your first pick set and get $50 in pick six credits. Very cool. Download the new DraftKings pick six app now and use code segments. That's code segments for new customers to play $5 on your first pick set and get $50

in pick six credits only on DraftKings pick six. The crown is yours. There you go. Anything to add? Yeah, I was going to say, gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER and help is available for problem gambling. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org in Connecticut. Must be 18 plus.

Age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdictions. Pick 6 is not available everywhere, including New York and Ontario. Void where prohibited. One per new customer. Non-withdrawable pick six credits expire in six months. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash. Right.

Promos. There it is. Thanks, DraftKings. With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pickcdouble or a mcchicken then get a small fry a small drink and a four-piece mcnuggets that's a lot of mcdonald's for not a lot of money price and participation may vary for a limited time only and we're returned yes um somebody sent us he said uh he heard that I suggested a six-letter wordle could enhance the game.

I don't remember saying that, but here we are. Well, now you can try it yourself because my friend Coleman actually just created a six-letter wordle called WordSki. Oh my God. WordSki, yeah, I thought I'd give him a shout out. So if you want to play this- Reminds me I didn't play today's wordle yet.

Yeah, so let's see if we can play WordS I didn't play today's worldle yet. Yeah. So let's see if we can play wordski, which is at iamcoleman.io. Okay. Let me see if I could share my screen. Maybe we can get to the bottom of this wordski together. Good. How is your wordling going, by the way? I forgot to ask.

I had an ugly day yesterday. It was an ugly day. What was yesterday? Was it Horde? Horde was the ward. I think, I can't remember exactly what my first guess was, but it was something like, I had like,

it was maybe, chart. Oh, it was chart. My first word was chart. Uh-huh. So that gave me- The H and the R were in there. Two yellows. The H and the A, no, the R was green and the A was green.

Oh, wow. And the H was yellow. Wow. That was first guess. First guess. And it's like, you know that there's not a word that ends in A-R-H. Right. You know?

So you know it started with an H. I knew that it started with an H and I knew it was a heart because T had been eliminated with chart. So dangerously close to a two. Yeah. And like, so there was no other thing that it could be then H at the beginning and an AR with no T. I was like,

I was very convinced that the word was heard H H-E-A-R-D. And for some reason, I didn't even, it was all about to me, like in my head, I was just like, this H is either at the beginning or the end. And if it's at the beginning, then there's no other word that it can be than heard. I was almost thinking of E as like a green in my head. I just didn't even consider H-O-A-R-D. So when I saw the green H, I was like, there's my two. I got it. I finally got the wordle in two.

And then it was all green except for the E. And that was when I realized horde. And if I had thought of horde, I really do think I would have guessed it over herd because. Because it just feels like a more wordly word. Yeah, definitely. That actually, that happened to me today. I think you've played today's already, right? Yes.

Yes. So I guessed, my first guess, by the way, we should also say that Marika guessed Horde as her first word. She said she's never used that word before. Just randomly threw out horde and it was correct so shout out to that uh today i did chest as my first one and the word was sweet so it was like s was um correct e was in the right place t was there and so i wrote down i'm like oh i think it's sheet and then i was about to hit submit. I'm like, wait a minute.

It could be sweet. That feels like a more wordly word. And I switched it to sweet and it hit. And I'm like, I feel like I've figured out this game. I was about to go one way. I'm like, no, this doesn't feel like a wordle word. But it could have been the exact opposite. It could have just been sheet.

And I like switched it at the last second to make it the wrong decision. That's crazy that is and the twos happen fast because like it's your first guess which is instant and then like you've narrowed it down if it's good enough to like one or two guesses so i got a two in like 35 seconds i'm surprised that you didn't guess like sweat or like something like it's so basically if it's a two if there's two of the same letter in a word i don't think i'll ever get it in two because i just can't make my second guess have two of the same letters in it right and i probably just didn't even think of sweat or something okay are you seeing this wordski which is yeah a sixletter wordle. Yes. This is kind of like breaking my brain because it looks like wordle, but it's six.

I'm sharing my screen so you can watch along if you're watching on YouTube. Yeah, okay. Can you think of a single six-letter word? Of course. Yeah. No problem. Easy. Not? Okay. no problem easy uh not okay i'm trying to think of one that only has that doesn't have two letters you know yeah yeah like no doubles uh breast that's pretty good what if we get it in one

how hot would that be especially on breast i like that it's a six by six grid. I think I've said this before, but Wordle should be a five by five grid. They should eliminate the sixth guess. Yeah, because it's not fun to get it in six either. Right. Oh, look at that. R-E-A, all yellow in the middle. It's not bad.

Okay. All right. I mean, now this is going to be very hard. R-E-A, six-letter word, but not there. Mm-hmm. Ferris? No, that can't end with... C-H... I thought you usually shift everything.

So it's a word that's... Oh, R-E-A. Yeah. All right. R-E-A... What about a word that starts with C-H? C-H-A. What about the word realm realm okay is that six

no but we know there's no s yeah but that'll at least help us organize no no we're not fucking helping us organize anything i'm trying to get it in two you really want this okay yeah what if it starts with ch okay look at that but then yeah that's but look at the okay is that a word carom with a ch i don't think so c-h-a-r um oh no there's no e there's no s right all i can think of is five letter words that end with an s charm yes right um it's funny when i'm playing wordle all i can think of is four letter words that end with an S. Charms. Yes, right. It's funny, when I'm playing Wordle, all I can think of is four letter words that ends with an S. Basically, whatever we want.

Just pretend we're playing a seven letter. Wear it. W-H. Okay. Let me, let's... This is really hard. This is insanely difficult to do on the fly. C--a-r-e-c-h

oh create no no the e and the a are the same place and so is the r what are you doing of course what about flared flared yeah no f f okay that fits yeah i don't know what they're i don't know Yeah. F. F. Oh, okay. That fits. Yeah. I don't know what their ethos is on using past tense. Right. Yeah. But at the very least, this fits. Maybe glared, but that would probably be more. All right. Ready?

Yeah. It's not a word. It's not a word. All right. Let's try glared. Glared. It's got to be glared. Glared is right. Not a word. Not a word. Yes, it not a word. It's not a word. All right, let's try glared. Glared. It's got to be glared. Glared is right.

Not a word. Not a word. Yes, it is a word. Glared. Flared. Chaired. We can't think of a word. Fair.

Fair. Pharaoh. Pharos. No. Pharaoh. Tarot. Okay. No, this is is getting embarrassing there's no e in that i think we got to go a two no we don't have to go with that no we absolutely do not i want to do a completely new two letter two no i'm not going on easy mode

no we're not going on easy no um a r play it there's no t paler no okay dr dreams no no s no s and there's and the REA are all in the same place. I won't allow you to do that. I have to do realms. No, dude, I'm begging you not to. There's no other option right now. Give me a second.

Give me a second. Okay. I'm going to just write something out. Okay. This broke our brain. Okay. Ooh, walrus would be a good first guess. R-A-G-E.

Raged. That's five. So that's not going to be right. This is insane how bad we are. Nobody understands the pressure of having to do it live. Only us. Oh. Look at this.

That's pretty excellent. It's a fit. Charge is a fucking fit. Great. Let's do it. Charge is a fucking fit. Great. Let's do it. I'm locking it in. Charge. So breast gave us R-E-A in yellow.

So we're rearranging them with a six-letter word, charge. I did very little for our morale, and this will make it even harder. What about garage? That's nuts. Oh, no, it doesn't end at ge so right now we got a r g e all in yellow wow this is yeah gear what gear no it's it couldn't be gear either oh this is gonna be extra as long as it took us to come with the second one this third one will be even harder because you won't fucking let us go easy mode and just like do another six letter word for some clues our goal should just be to finish it right but i don't want to do that you want to get it in three yeah i do want to get it in three

but all right let's say it starts with G. Yeah, okay. And then there's probably a vowel, because there's no vowel in the three slot. It's like this. Gal. Oh, wait, what about ranged? R-A-N. Oh, yeah, we haven't guessed an N.

Range. Oh, ranger is pretty good. Pretty good. It's a gosh darn fit. Well, I thought ranged, but yeah, ranger's perfect pretty good pretty good it's a gosh darn fit well i thought ranged but yeah range ranger's perfect let's do it we fucking got it in three folks ranger and you wanted to give up you wanted to just be like let's put walrus maybe we'll figure it out later the goal is to just win well that was a really good teamwork because i wanted to do ranged and you saw that it couldn't be ranged you said ranger is more of a fit and ultimately that's what led us to glory that was kind of fun and it is a lot

more difficult when there's six it's just one extra letter but it kind of changes the game yeah i mean you're looking at arg and you're like what we're like i've there's a lot more places where a yellow one can go now yeah i'm wondering how to share it let's see uh maybe if i if i tweet this i wonder if we can charge this guy. I don't know. We can sort of embargo this thing until we get paid for it. Probably not. Probably not. It looks like it's free, but if this guy ends up selling to the New York Daily News or some shit for half a mil, he'd have to take it. Which could happen, actually. Actually, why don't we buy it?

We'll buy low. So we'll have it, and then we can do whatever we want with it great and you'll offer him yeah a million thousand or no millions a lot yeah i was gonna say like this is now we just spend the next 20 minutes debating like we did the words all right let's offer him 40 000 no no no it's not gonna fit you thought we were dumb when we were guessing words. Now you see us in a negotiation. Let's guess. Can we guess $50,000 or is that...

Is that insulting? There's no five in it. Because it's not that different than Wordle. Alright, thank you. I am Coleman. And who sent that to us? Let's see. It wasn't even Coleman himself. It was his friend. But it was actually, this guy's smart because, you know, Wordle was named after Wardle. So this guy's keeping the URL at iamcoleman.co.

Smart. Sort of self-branding. That's good. Yeah, iamcoleman.io i should say sammy sent us sammy sent it in thank you to sammy thank you uh all right send us all wordle related adjacent questions uh games that we can play you know we can almost start a daily wordle podcast so we just sort of do wordle together uh but it's always one one day delayed so it doesn't spoil anything else for anybody else that is smart would i would we both do it together live like basically like teaming up

no that would probably be cheating maybe we'd alternate alternate. One day I'll do it. You help me. One day you do it. I help you. We sort of did that on live. Like after I had already solved it, I was sort of recording you doing it. Yeah, yeah. And you were trying to get a read off me. I think I got it in a three that day. Yeah.

Threes are good. Are you still going to quit when you get a two? Yes. Cannot wait. Cannot wait. You've gotten like three twos in the last week it's been a fruitful week i got two in mexico and one last night and i don't know i feel like something recently has clicked for me to the point where i am this is why i want to retire this is why I want to go out. I just want to spend my time surfing, man. You can't surf and also

play Wordle. Like, nobody out there is going home and trying to guess Wordle. Sometimes when you're waiting for the breaks. Pull out my phone and see if I can get a two in Worldle. Hey guys, wait up for me. I'm halfway through this octordle.

Don't catch the swell without me. All right. Thank you for listening. We'll be back, of course, next week. If you have your own questions, theme songs, all of it, send it to ifireashow at gmail.com. Correct. The opening theme song, Sam is the closing theme song. It was Mariana's Trench.

Mariana. Mariana. Oh, yeah, David Adeyemi, parody of Fallout by Mariana's Trench. You can watch this episode, of course, on our YouTube. And then we're also making weekly videos on our Patreon still, patreon.com slash JA, watching Jake and Amir videos, discussing, dissecting, going down memory lane. So check that out as still. Patreon.com slash JA watching Jake and Amir videos discussing, dissecting,

going down memory lane. So check that out as well. Yeah. And thank you to you guys for listening. We'll be back, of course, next week. Ciao for now,

or should we say hang ten slash surfs up for now. Mahalo. Mahalo. Aloha. If you were me, if I were you, up for now. Mahalo. Mahalo. Aloha. If you were me, if I were you, I emailed and tell me what to do.

That was a Hiddem Original. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast. We're here to help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this?

Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle.