Segments - Bonus Episode: J&A on Twinnovation
Episode Date: December 10, 2015Our appearance on the "Twinnovation" Podcast! Hosted by Dave & Jeff Rosenberg, and Mike Karnell, "Twinnovation" is another show on the HeadGum network. If you've never heard their show, this ...is a good first episode. New episodes every Friday on HeadGum.com! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast. know what day of the week it is, to post our episode of Twinnovation. Yeah, we went and visited the nation.
Yeah, we went on another podcast on the Hedgum Network, hosted by Dave Rosenberg, Jeff Rosenberg,
and Mike Carnell.
Yeah, actually, you know what?
Shout out to Dave and Jeff.
It is, as we're recording this, it is their birthday.
Wow, December 9th is their birthday.
So this is kind of like a birthday gift to them. Right. We went on their show. Their podcast is basically them three coming up with
business ideas, I would say. I use that term extremely loosely. Right, because one of Dave's
business idea was inventing a new... Well, last week it was hot girls farting in jars. Right.
For example, that's a business idea. So it's not a great business idea,
but it is an idea that he came up with,
and he has a podcast,
so he's allowed to talk about it.
So one of these weeks, a couple weeks ago,
we were their first guests, I think.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, we went on their show,
pitched our own business ideas,
and we thought, you know what?
Our fans would like this.
Yeah.
We only had one episode this week,
so we're like, you know,
let's give them a little bonus content.
Not necessarily an episode of If I Were You, but a fun listen to Twinnovation.
Just for y'all.
Just because we like the show.
We thought you'd like the show.
And yeah, if you do like the show, you can check it out at headgum.com.
You can listen to the other 20 or so episodes that don't have us. But this will give you a good taste, a good sample, a good portion of what Twinnovation is all about.
And we have a feeling if you like our show, you'll like Twinnovation.
Yeah.
So without further ado, let's get started.
And then Jake and I will be back as per usual on Monday with an all new episode of our podcast,
If I Were You.
Enjoy.
Things got real?
Yeah, sure.
Why not? uh enjoy things got real uh yeah sure why not this ain't that long term vision and the best
this is time to get that cake quick it is sexton if you about that that's money sensation it's
time to open up your ears to twinnovation what up what up what up it's your boy baby bear mike
carnell welcome to the Twinnovation podcast.
The podcast where our schemes, dreams, misdemeans, hustles, grifts, cons, crimes.
Special day today.
Guys, we can feel your energy. Say hi to the crowd.
Yeah, talk to the crowd.
All right.
I kind of screwed up the introduction.
Sorry, dude. Oh, man. Our founders of HeadGum, Jake and Amir, are here recording a little episode with us.
And of course, always to my left, David Rosenberg.
Howdy.
Sitting next to him, sharing a microphone, Jeff Rosenberg.
Hey.
Woo.
Love it.
Guys, how we doing?
I'm good.
You're in town.
I'm a fan of this podcast.
I'm very excited.
You're visiting.
We had a little fun. You'm such a fan of this podcast. I'm very excited. You're visiting. We had a little fun.
You guys did a live show.
Yeah.
We all did a live show.
We had a bunch of apps backstage.
We got wasted.
Yeah, dude.
Dave was part of the live show.
Dave was part of the live show.
Dave came up on stage.
He poured whiskey on himself.
Yeah.
Pretty much before he said anything.
I'd like the Twinnovation Nation to know that Jake wanted me to reveal the secret
clam dip recipe
that I won't be revealing
for the 100th episode
of Twinnovation
and I would not do it.
We would never betray you.
You came to the show
and you said,
I'll do the clam dip recipe.
I got to that show
and found out
what was going on
and I grabbed Jake
by his goddamn collar.
I threw him up
against the wall
and I said,
100 episodes, dude.
You did text me before.
You were like,
no way
dave's revealing the clam dip recipe it's for episode 100 his recipe and i just to give it's
grandma anderson's recipe i may miss you rest in peace but like it was such a big deal to you guys
and i was just like okay sure yeah i'll do something else we had a whole meeting about how
were you gonna what we were gonna say to you at show. To know that you just didn't care.
That actually is better.
I know I care a lot about the recipe.
I just respect that you guys want to wait.
And we respect that.
Amir, how are you doing, dog?
Doing great, dude.
Really excited to be here.
I think I'm going to have the best idea,
not only today, but in Twinnovation history,
which is pretty neat.
How many months have you spent thinking this up?
You just commented on your own thing.
Yeah.
Like you wish we all said it.
Well, you're going to say it when
i'm done with it but i would say i've been thinking about this idea off and on for the
better part of two decades oh my god wow yeah well this is the first step i have i have an advantage
yeah the first episode it's like you know your baby this is the one that you've been thinking
considering definitely the first eight weeks were my strongest and from here on out it's just like
gonna be different kinds of gloves or things that you can wear.
Gloves or food.
I don't know.
Your first couple ideas were just sandwiches.
So I wouldn't say that got worse.
That was the peak, my man.
That would have been a great invention in like 1604.
I know.
All of my stuff, I'm like, somebody tried this in 1950.
And now his ways are just to eat sandwiches.
Yeah.
How far from sandwiches can you possibly get?
Not too far.
I don't like to venture out.
Yeah.
Edible wear is next on the list, probably.
Yeah, yeah.
Edible, yeah, just underwear sandwiches.
Oh, that's pretty good.
And then Dave makes it unisex.
Yeah, cock meat.
Oh, yeah.
Full one.
No meat.
Yes, I am no.
Well, guys, it's your first time on the podcast but you guys know the
deal we we open each episode with a little airing of grievances that we like to call the
i gotta be with the mirror he took a snapchat before we started and didn't even ask me to get
into it he didn't even try dude even try to angle the can you go to a mere blooms on snapchat you'll
just does it just does it delete uh i could delete it the problem is we were all four of us are on a couch and you're
not i would have come over we were i was leaning forward jeff was leaning forward if you had gone
this way i think we could have got mike not dave i think you made a choice you decided nobody told
me you guys are taking the photo snapchat is a vertical photo you can only make a choice and
the dude that invented the O-Flex,
you're not cutting out of the picture.
The O-Flex.
You have so many stains on your shirt.
It's part of my idea, folks.
The O-Flex was just a Bowflex with an iPad attached
that you could watch porn on it during.
It was an exercise regime that would bring you to climax.
I thought that invention should have had like a a suction thing that would like would suck you off as you were like doing i thought it
was going to be a fleshlight on your head you go you go down punches or like um a rowing machine
with a fleshlight at the front yeah so you're fucking it while you're doing your exercise well
this is not listen our beef of the week isn't with Dave's old inventions. It was with Amir's Snapchat
fucking me over, but...
Are you even on Snapchat?
Honestly, I'm over it.
I'm not even on Snapchat.
It's fine.
Anybody else got a beef?
I'll give one beef out there.
Someone has something
in this room.
You got one?
Yeah.
All right.
Our first guest beef.
First of all, I love you guys.
My beef is...
My beef is actually
with all three of you
to varying degrees.
What the fuck
are you trying to pull, dude is on our podcast you are not even obligated to say anything i am i'm in town
just for this weekend and last night last night you didn't come out at all yeah well we partied
the night before i know i know but and we're partying tonight yeah we're partying tonight
and but you didn't come out at all and that's why you're the least the. I know. And we're partying tonight. Yeah, we're partying tonight. But you didn't come out at all.
And that's why you're
the least, the least.
You know, because
you didn't even like,
you didn't even get my hopes up.
Doesn't that make him the most?
No, because Mikey didn't show up.
I am who I am.
I am who I am.
He had the boss to not even come.
Yeah.
I mean, I wish you texted me
to be like, I'm going to stay in.
But I heard it from Dave.
It was fine.
I will admit fault in that.
She texted.
My next beef is with
which one of you guys thinks I'm more mad at?
Dave.
You got to be more.
I'm less mad at Dave because Dave wanted to stay out, but you couldn't.
You went home.
You were like.
Yeah, I always want to stay out.
Dave was dragged home.
And we ain't leaving till six in the morning.
Or until Anna tells us
we have to.
Before he hung out with you,
Dave was hanging out with us
and made Anna just watch us
play video games
for 45 minutes.
So I don't blame her
that she wants to leave.
Yeah.
But yeah, Jeff,
you left the bar
we were at
to go back hang out
with your other friends
that you see all the time.
Yeah, that is mad fucked up.
Jeff left me at a bar
to go hang out with Hank. You fucking live you fucking live with no the night was dying down
it was not dying down enid's wasn't that much fun so it's all about fun with you it's all fun no
family is what we're saying it's all fun no family for jeff that's what i'm saying you take a swipe
at the king you better go for the for the haymaker man because there was a fight that went on later
and i could have been part of that that went on at like six in the morning you still could have been on that you still could you you
yeah whatever dude wait so what time did jeff leave oh you didn't say goodbye the irish goodbye
but there were irish goodbye and there were fucking four of us it's not like you can irish
goodbye like a big part like i was talking to jerry that you got knocked out in the bathroom
if you just go he did he did oh my god what's that you got knocked out in the bathroom if you just go. He did a, oh my God, what's that?
And then sprint out.
And he was the only one that ordered food.
After Amir had left, Marty was headed out.
I was like, yeah, I had left already.
No, Marty stayed.
Me and Marty got pizza at the very end of the night.
Wait, so Amir bailed first?
No, Amir bailed first.
Yeah, post-Dave.
Post-Dave.
Because once one person leaves, it's fair game.
You should like me more than Mike, right?
What did I do, dude?
Yeah, Mike technically left first by not arriving at all.
So shouldn't I be the best?
It wasn't the time that everybody left.
It was how they did it.
Mike never put any airs on.
But I'm hanging out with you tonight, and we won't see them as much.
I put the most time in, and I'm getting the most heat.
Like, that seems backwards.
But you had the worst reason for leaving, because you wanted to go see Hank and Miles.
Hank, no.
I love those guys.
Don't drag Miles into this.
Trust me, I would leave me to go see Miles.
Jake, don't drag Miles into this, man.
I like Miles a lot too.
This is between you and Jack.
So my idea is a hat.
It's a hat.
It's a hat.
Yeah, all right.
So we'll stop.
Well, you know, we're all old friends.
Sometimes you got to get it out.
No, it feels good to get stuff off your chest.
It really does.
You know what I'd rather get on my chest
is a hot load of Dave Rosenberg's ideas.
Guys, this is a podcast
for schemes.
This is a podcast for hustles and ideas.
Are we your first guests? You are our first guest.
So how does the order of things work?
So we're going to pitch our three.
We'll all critique each idea.
Got it. Then when we come back from the ads,
the nation will not be heard from
this episode. So we silence the nation. we come back from the ads, the nation will not be heard from this episode.
So we represent the nation.
Because we have two distinguished members of the nation.
Got it.
Part of the inner council.
I'm part of the nation for sure.
You're definitely part of it.
You're both definitely part of the nation.
High council.
The high council was a phrase.
He's on the board.
So we'll be hearing from the high council instead of the listeners.
And he wore the Huff is a snitch shirt.
And he did.
Jake did wear the Huff is a snitch shirt.
I tried to surprise you guys.
It was pretty fun. Yeah, it was great. He actually texted me. Huff texted me He did. Jake did wear the snitch shirt. I tried to surprise you guys. It was pretty fun.
Yeah, it was great.
He actually texted me.
Huff texted me like an hour ago saying he got 10 new Instagram friend requests on Friday.
Yeah, I love it.
People are just...
I got a little scheme that I won't talk about on air because if Huff listens to this, he'll
blow it.
But I'll say it.
I'm going to have one of us unlock his Instagram.
We'll borrow his phone.
I think we should also...
We should also...
And I'm going to send out an alert on Twitter
and be like, his Instagram's unlocked right now.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Even if he is on high alert, it's going to be great.
Put his Instagram handle on the underside of the shirt.
That's what I was saying.
That's my pitch this week.
All right, so let's get into the ideas.
So we'll hear from our distinguished guest after the ads.
Got it.
Dave did whisper in your ear,
this idea is going to make you shit yourself.
He did.
Is it a laxative? Let's hear it. It's actually the. Got it. Dave did whisper in your ear, this idea is going to make you shit yourself. He did. Is it a laxative?
Let's hear it.
Something like that.
It's actually the opposite of it.
Let's hear it.
All right, folks.
Jeff, give me a little room to breathe.
Dave and Jeff are sharing a mic.
They're pretty close.
Let me pose a question to you.
This is my dream come true.
Please do.
What's the worst part about taking a shit?
I mean, we were actually just talking about this outside.
There's always poop
around the hole.
I don't care how much you wipe.
I use baby wipes every time.
It's just poop.
Wiping. Cleaning up.
Jeff?
I would say you sit on the toilet too long
and your legs get numb.
Then you can't when you're trying to stand up.
I use a squatty potty now so that doesn't happen.
That is true, but some of my other friends here are right.
That's right, folks.
It's having a dirty and sore asshole.
Dave again reading off his phone.
I love it.
You didn't say sore.
You're putting words out.
That's right.
Having a dirty and sore asshole.
The next sentence just says sore.
Sore if you and your asshole hurt sore.
Everybody's asshole hurts, evidently.
No matter how good you think your toilet paper is,
I think I speak for everyone when I say
the blood comes before the shit goes.
Let me elaborate.
For generations, the Rosenberg dynasty
has inherited a bloody awful genetical trait
known medically only as sore hiney hole.
I know what y'all are thinking. Why not just buy a fresh little newborn infant from the old
countries and then just nip-tuck yourself a new butthole for a very premium price?
Well, folks, unfortunately, there's a lot of people in this PC world of ours
that would consider this type of surgery to be, at worst, inhumane
and, at best, a great step forward in stem cell research, development,
and ultimately application.
And they're not wrong, but simply said,
the world, and specifically the third world,
are not ready to hand over their fresh, pretty little, untainted assholes
just so I can continue supporting Papa John's
and eating their delicious, yet poopy-tampering,
hot-patented garlic sauce.
And don't even get me started with baby wipes, which can, of course, wreak deep havoc on the American plumbing system.
And the Twinnovation Nation, since day one, has never quit the fight toward preserving and maintaining an environmentally sustainable plumbing economy. That's why today, folks, on this very special Jake and Amir episode of
Twinnovation, I'm taking a page
out of the book of our friends across
the Great Lake and introducing
the first in a long
line of door-to-door
sales of Dave's B'daves
or B'davids, which I will
be calling B'daves for the rest of this product
pitch. What the B'dave will do
is easily and practically clean and maintain your little brown eye and turn it into a pink eye.
It's so long.
Or I guess, I'm not even a quarter way through.
Or I guess still a brown eye if that's already the color of your skin.
But just a cleaner, smoother brown eye.
Furthermore, the bedave will cross socioeconomic...
You said you were going to call it bedave for the rest of the pitch.
Furthermore, the bedave will cross socioeconomic... You said you were going to call it Bidet for the rest of the pitch. Furthermore, the Bidet will cross socioeconomic lines
when in early 2017,
we begin introducing the Bidet to go,
which will be a second and third world application
of the Bidet.
What's the second world?
Mexico?
There's second worlds.
What's second worlds?
Like Canada.
This will allow poor people with no access to toilets,
toilet paper, and clean water,
whom have, by and large, dealt with what many consider
to be the number four cause of death worldwide,
diarrhea, to maintain a healthy butthole.
The B'David to-go works twofold.
B'Dav or B'David?
You said you were going to only call it B'David.
And you've not used B'David once.
Not only does it have the ability to turn dirty water into
clean, drinkable water, but
also holds the secret sauce in
its ability to turn that clean water
back into dirty water once you
squeeze that good juice up into your ass.
So let me lay out that for all you
visually-minded people, because it's
truly a beautiful cycle of innovation,
survival, and hygiene.
Dirty water gets a second
life from the proprietary
David to go filtration system.
Once that dirty water is clean,
you spray it up in your asshole with the
David to go's proprietary no
splash back guarantee, which is
activated only after a mail-in
rebate is received
within 15 days of product purchase.
Once that clean water becomes dirty again with doo-doo juice,
you can catch the excess runoff poop water
with David's proprietary funnel system,
which will of course be immediately pushed back
into the original filtration system to be cleaned again
for either drinking water or asshole cleaning water.
No questions will be taken at this point. No questions will be taken at this
point in time, but don't let that
deter you from not only being a customer
and an investor, but a
man or woman or a transgender
person with a squeaky
clean little poop chute downtown.
Okay, we're definitely going to
ask questions because you spoke for eight minutes straight.
Holy shit.
Can you demonstrate? Can I use a bidet and then you can demonstrate how clean the water is by drinking
that asshole i'm talking third world countries here what is that one what i'm confused about
what you're selling it's a bidet and a separate filtration system the door-to-door bedav which
will bedavid or bedav because you need is the american, and the Badaev to go will be the one that
we use for second and third world countries.
I will say this is your best name you've ever
come up with. I think that's the
only reason why this idea exists, because
it sounds like Badaev. You came up with the name
first. Yeah, definitely working backwards
here. I mean...
I like the idea of the asshole surgery
more than anything else.
This whole thing is predicated on the fact that you think the world's not ready for you to go through several baby assholes.
Yeah, should we start from the beginning that you do want to have a baby asshole?
It's no different than stem cell research.
Can you back up this Rosenberg dynasty disease?
Yeah, we all have.
The soreness is in fact a fact i do remember living with dave that
he would sometimes need to take a bath to soak his asshole it's the only proper way to clean it
i probably i probably use the poop aspect of the restroom four or five six times a day really i
mean you take six shits a day that's way too many I've never been with a guy That is way too many
Jeff often thinks
He's about to shit his pants
Like every time he poops
It's an emergency too
Why is that?
Because that's not normal
I think just
You know
They get it from their father
He's a weak asshole
Little bitch
I mean it can't be like
Entirely inherited
Because you guys just have
You also have bad diets
You said like
It came down from a long line of
A lot of clam dip in this diet.
I think it's nature and nurture.
They had weak assholes to begin with
and then their father just feeds them Costco food.
Well, it's not even a weak asshole.
They loosened up their ass.
It's like a small, large intestine
because it seems like the food
just goes right through you very quickly.
Right, yeah, yeah.
It's processed very well if that's what you're saying.
It's really torn down.
Wait, how often do you shit, Dave?
Three times a day, four times a day.
It's not crazy.
Four?
I mean, I pretend to poop at work four times a day.
I mean, I'm pinching off little stuff.
They're not all huge loads.
It's like how they say instead of eating three big meals,
you're supposed to have six to seven smaller meals.
Yeah, but the opposite.
No, it's very much in line with it.
It's a health benefit.
This is all very european
maintaining your what's the weirdest part of europe uh the bidets david how much well for the
uh u.s version of it which is a door-to-door that i'll be doing and what's the second world like
what countries are the second world i've already mentioned canada you don't understand that like
after you shit,
then the water sprays back up your...
It's like a two-in-one bidet.
It's like a toilet that's also a bidet.
And you could also drink the water
once it goes through the filtration process,
if you so choose.
You could, though.
Water is not an infinite resource.
I've had an arm that you could extend
and use the fresh water inside to clean your asshole.
But there's no changing the water chemically
after you've shit into it.
Sure there is.
A filtration system.
What does that mean, a filtration system?
Like a Brita.
So do you imagine like...
Never mind, I'm on board.
Can you take a shit into a Brita
just as a proof of concept?
Yes, I'll be posting pictures on Twitter when this episode airs. Nick's gone, but I don't think he'll... He's not here today, but I don't think he'll mind us borrowing the Brita just as a proof of concept? Yes, I'll be posting pictures on Twitter when this episode airs.
Nick's gone, but I don't think he'll mind us borrowing the Brita.
Yeah, at the very least the filter.
That sweet charcoal filter.
Is the technology there?
Yeah, they have bottles that you can put muddy toxic water in
and you can drink it.
But I think that's like lake water that's not so far removed from drinking and it's not
someone taking a shit into the filter.
Now fish are pooping in the lake water.
There's poop in
that water. Yeah, but you're just going to fill this whole thing with
shit. But isn't the diarrhea that's killing
people is because they don't have access to
proper sanitation? It's dysentery.
But it is poop related.
But you need to get them fresh
water. That's the problem. I think you have two separate businesses here and I don't know what's poop related. Yes. But you need to get them fresh water. That's the problem.
No, because they have fresh water in their system.
I think you have two separate businesses here now.
I do.
I don't know what's going on.
I do.
The first business, I said the bidet...
Also, you're not going to make any money
giving bidets to third world countries.
Yeah, you will.
That's government money.
And we've talked about government money
on this podcast before.
We're talking about government money.
Wait.
We're talking about contracts.
Are you saying that is this a separate tub
or is it a toilet bowl connector?
The American version is a toilet bowl connector.
Got it.
The American version is the Bedev, by the way.
Yeah, and in Canada...
No, they're both Bedevids.
Europe's Bedevid2go.
Oh, Bedevid2go.
And then in Canada and Africa, which we're...
I never said Africa.
You said second and third world.
Okay, but I don't think all of Africa is third world.
You're racist.
Canada is second?
What?
You think Canada is closer to third world nations than America?
Yes.
I would say Canada is almost more, if not as developed. Let's not make it about Canada.
Okay, so let's say we are going to third world nations.
It's not connected to a toilet bowl,
because obviously a lot of these towns don't.
The U.S. version is.
Right, right.
And the non-U. The US version is. Right, right. And the non-US version is what?
It's a filtration system similar to a Brita
with a pump attached to it.
Where is this sit in the toilet?
It goes in your ass.
Don't make me...
It goes in your asshole.
But where's the water drain?
There's no plumbing in third world countries.
It's like one of those fancy three-layered bongs
one of your friends would have had in college.
There's just a lot of different filtration systems.
So you have to wear this and put the pump up to your asshole?
Is it a funnel system?
How many of you have lived in third-world countries?
No one in this room has lived in a third-world country.
I've watched a ton of documentaries on Netflix.
It's not that they don't have bidets.
It's that they don't have plumbing in general.
You could fix the problem if you just gave them toilets that flush.
They don't need also
to have their assholes sprayed.
Like, you're taking
a very personal,
weird problem.
I'm just saying, like,
you're over-solving
that problem.
Yeah, I think just keep it
to the bidet.
That's why that version
wasn't going to come
until early 2017,
which I mentioned
in the pitch.
That's really soon.
A year.
It's a year.
Yeah, it's a year.
And I think...
What is the bedavid that you're selling door-to-door?
Why is it door-to-door, too?
Why?
You're not online?
I'm doing a lot of different stuff.
I can't tell the whole marketing plan in a pitch.
It was long enough.
Yeah, that's the time to tell me the whole marketing plan.
Yeah.
I was telling the product.
Now I'm talking about the marketing plan.
I wasn't able to cover in the pitch.
Part of it's going to be door-to-door
because I have a good personality
and people will buy stuff from me.
I'm a good salesman at my heart.
The beginning of your pitch is talking about
how you wish you could slice off babies' assholes.
That's fair.
I stand behind it.
And I've always stood behind it.
And that's the lead to my door-to-door pitch.
I go door-to-door and I also am doing stuff online as well.
Every door that opens is that silent eight
minutes we spent no i'm showing proof of concept when i'm doing the door-to-door stuff stuff that
they wouldn't believe i'm shaking a shit in a brita drinking it the brita is not a part of
the american version you do that like if that's the yeah wait how much to just watch you put
shit into a brita and try to drink the water i'll invest in you shitting in a brita yeah luckily
you shit six to twelve times a day so you can sell a lot.
You can do the demonstration.
That's a whole block.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, who's...
The American version
will be $49.99.
Uh-huh.
And that's a lot of...
Okay.
What?
You're just making up a number.
What makes you think
I'm just making up a number?
Where'd you get $49.99?
$49.99 has a lot to do
with how much it costs
to make the product.
Okay.
So it costs $8
to make the product. And where did you get the $8 lot to do with how much it costs to make the product. So it costs $8 to make the product.
And where did you get the $8 from?
How do you think it costs $8?
Don't dig too deep here.
That's wholesale prices.
Dave looks confused that you're questioning it.
I'm not confused at all.
I'm answering all your questions in a timely and respectable manner.
Let's do it.
What is the $8 from?
Honestly, Amir, you're the one prodding here.
$8 has a lot to do with the plastics and the molds being built.
David, don't give away your manufacturers.
You don't have to answer these questions.
He's trying to get on your market share.
I'm just trying to understand the product before I endorse it.
Because you say $49.99, and I want to know how you got to that.
$49.99 is the price that you pay for not having to bleed out of your asshole every couple days.
Okay, and how much does the product cost to make?
I said $8.
So $8, you're making $42 on every product.
You hear those margins?
Those are beautiful.
Those are great margins.
You can't get good margins like that in the toilet industry anymore.
No, especially not in Canada.
Sorry, continue.
We're going to put it to a vote.
I think we should put it to a vote.
I'm not done yet.
The overseas version is actually going to be sold for free
because that's a government contract that I get
and they'll pay me to supply these.
How much are you planning on them paying you?
The government contract will run anywhere
from $2 billion to $3 billion.
And that's a B, folks.
That's a what?
That's a B, billion, not million.
I'll start this process off.
I think it's time to put this to a vote.
You're untrustworthy.
You disgust me.
All fair.
You seem evil.
There's evil in you.
A bit.
And I don't believe in any of the numbers you've said.
I don't believe in your margins,
and I don't believe in these government contracts
that you're counting on.
I'm in as a customer because I have a history
of healthy assholes,
and I'm out as an investor because I don't trust you.
All fair.
Jeff. Jeff is in as an investor because I don't trust you. All fair. Jeff.
Jeff is in as an investor and a customer
and I support everything you're doing here.
Dave, you're helping people and you're
solving a problem that
a lot of people don't know about and
it's movement
in the right direction and straight
out of Twinnovation Labs.
Diarrhea is the main cause of death around the world.
All right, Jake.
I don't think your problem solves diarrhea.
Yeah, your problem solves the cleanup after diarrhea.
Still fair.
Okay.
I'm in as a customer.
Really?
Yeah, sure.
You want a David in your home?
I think I would, yeah.
I'd purchase one just to see what was what,
to see if I could drink the water that I should have.
Everybody gets sick.
I definitely think that results in more people dying of anything it's a fun gag gift sure i would buy
one for mike for his oh you know what i just realized the genius part of this plan the product
is is made in a way that creates the need for the product because you're going to be drinking
shit water you're going to get more diarrhea and that's just going to force you to use the meds. That's very smart. You've
seen through me. I'm back in as
an investor. I'm back in now. I'm also
in as an investor. Let's kill the entire world.
Yeah. You've seen through me and you've gone
right through me. It's like that
girl in Sixth Sense whose mom's
feeding her pine salt.
Yeah. So I'm out
as a customer because I think it would give you
diarrhea. I'm in as an investor
because it seems like there's money to be made
at the very least trying to help.
It looks like you're caring about...
Sort of like Tom's Shoes,
except if Tom's Shoes killed people.
Yeah, exactly right.
It actually does hurt a lot of small business owners
in the third world countries.
I guess you could say it's slowly killing them like a virus.
Yeah, like Giardia or dysentery. Which is what this product causes. So you're in as slowly killing them like a virus. Yeah, like Giardia. Or dysentery.
Which is what this product causes.
So you're in as an investor, not a customer.
Yeah, but now that I'm thinking about it,
I'm just investing into a disease.
We could call it bedysentery.
And the world has been struck with bedysentery.
There's a manhunt out for David Rosenberg.
I'm also in as an investor
because I want to see Dave go door-to-door
trying to drink his own shit water can i just uh not invest but just follow you to each door and
i'll invest in like a documentary about this i'll just bring chips and eat it out of like in my car
while i want to take a shit on people's i'm in as a guy that eats chips yeah you want to come on the
chip yeah should we just get chips right now i I'm done with that. I would love some chips during the ad break.
Oh, that's good.
That's a nice idea.
All right, Dave.
So once Amir kind of stripped the veneer away and I saw the business for what it was,
I think everybody kind of came around
and everybody loved it.
It's time to hear from the other Rosenberg twins.
Hey, guys.
Jeff here.
Jeffrey Rosenberg.
I'm going to try and lighten the mood a little bit.
You've been on a laptop.
It seems like you've been doing a little research.
Yeah, I actually made a PowerPoint presentation.
Look at this.
Holy shit.
I'd prefer, Dave, if you did not let Jake see it.
Why?
Oh, because of the...
I'm presenting here.
Oh, sure.
No, I want to see.
This is Jeff's pitch for Twinnovation.
Wow, you guys made a PowerPoint presentation?
You always almost cry before you pitch.
We're going to have to actually not the
space bar dave we're gonna we're gonna use the right arrow oh dude okay i'll invest i'll invest
right okay what's the worst part about ordering food with a large group of people well sometimes
putting up the check it's just people want different things like last night i wanted
thai food you wanted pizza and it was a whole thing michaelely, Michael, precisely. A lot of people have different tastes.
You want different cuisines, you know?
Sure.
What's your favorite food?
Let's go around the table.
I'll say sushi.
I like sushi.
I like pasta.
I like linguine with clam sauce, a white clam sauce.
Hey, we could order from the same spot.
And I like sushi with linguine sauce.
I'm a paschetti man myself.
It seems like this problem doesn't exist.
Yeah, we all said Italian exist. I wasn't listening.
You guys said Italian food?
Some sort of noodle.
I said Japanese.
You had so much control.
I wasn't paying attention to you guys.
I'm a Mediterranean man.
I like a good kebab.
I can go for hummus.
Me too.
Let's all get that.
Problem solved.
PowerPoint over.
Have you guys ever done a Friendsgiving?
Yeah
A potluck
I've done Thanksgiving with friends
Do you enjoy it?
I love it
And everyone brings their own crock pot
You make your dishes at the spot
I've made beef stew
I made beef stew last New Year's
Remember we all went and did cooked food
How was stew year's beef?
A little dry.
May I present
Tastemakers, guys.
Highly curated potluck dinner parties.
Seamless for dinner parties,
if you will.
So hear me out here.
I'm listening.
How does it help people with diarrhea in Canada?
Well, I'm sure you'll get to that.
That's slide 17.
Brunching is a relic of the past.
People are doing dinner parties,
bottomless brunches, whack,
and no one wants to go to a shit restaurant
to pay $35 for sour rotten eggs.
Yeah, eggs.
And watered down bloodied marys.
You want to spend an intimate evening with your friends,
but not have to worry about the problems of cooking and cleaning
and cuisines, different cuisines.
So this app provides you with a list of the most delicious foods
from restaurants in your area.
We curate it.
So say your zip code is 11211.
It's mine.
And we have...
I'm listening.
We talk to the Italian restaurants.
We find the best paschetti and meatballs.
Spaghetti, dude.
Fine, go.
And then we're talking to all the Italian restaurants.
We're having a bidding war between them
to be featured on our app.
Because they're our exclusive
What's the name of the app?
Tastemakers.
They're one of the tastemakers.
No, we're the tastemakers. We choose to taste.
They're the makers.
You curate cuisine from different local
restaurants. This is an app?
It's a lifestyle brand, really.
So you sort of make like a like a
tasting it's not a tasting menu it's a potluck yeah it's a pot like a but with the with the
it's a buffet with the best dishes from each restaurant i think that's i choose can i ask
a question or do you how many slides do you have left uh three four okay i'll let you finish your
slides and then we'll ask no you can ask a question does my last slide say any questions
yes all right so maybe we should wait for that one.
Also, I can see the top of it.
You wrote our responses that said,
we're listening, Jeff.
Tell us more, Jeff.
I just wanted to confirm that.
Go on.
I think that this is a good idea
and it's a fun thing that people would do.
I wonder if it'll be too hard to coordinate
between the restaurants
and if you order almost like like a prefix like different prefix menus from all the restaurants included
where you like you know okay this if you want like a pacific feel and then it's like we have
hawaiian and japanese and stuff like that and you like you curate it more rather than them like
picking their own thing yeah i mean that's that's something we
can talk about that's that's that's also like curating you're saying for the for a single
restaurant instead of no multiple spots you like you know you talk to all of them and you pull like
one thing from here one thing from there one thing yeah that's what it is so you're saying
like package it a little differently instead of letting people go down your list like it might
be fun to like build your own or have one that we've prepared for you.
We have the pre-sale.
If you want to do the Thanksgiving one,
we'll find those themed ones.
We actually also will have
Spotify playlists for the party.
That's fun.
Guys, what do we think about it?
Are there more slides?
No, I mean, there are.
I just need feedback now.
So I have strength to click the next the app should be called feedback
oh not a good idea what about feed bag i like we deliver you know it makes sense to me because
think about it's a double it's kind of like close to what uber fresh does right where like
uber fresh what's uber fresh he doesn't have uber fresh is it only we have california i don't know uber fresh we'll partner with restaurants and
they'll just bring like one or two dishes from those places like for that day so you say like
oh i want this but they only provide one meal from that place but i think it's like a benefit
to the restaurant to be like hey hey, use our spaghetti and meatballs.
And for another restaurant to be like,
hey, use this tuna roll.
And then drivers drive around with that meal. I think the only thing that's tough
is maybe timing out all the different kinds of food.
That's all logistics that we'll iron out.
Sure.
Those are buying questions.
And don't forget,
the real moneymaker here is the...
So the logo is...
Because it's called Tastemaker, it's the trademark logo.
Oh, nice.
How do you like that?
Which, strangely enough, is in trademark.
It's TMTM.
And it keeps getting smaller.
So there's a bunch.
Into an infinity.
I'm always thinking about infinities.
Yeah, you're always thinking about diarrhea.
Let Jeff talk for a minute.
And you're also not...
You guys are underestimating
the cash we can make
through the bidding wars.
You pick the 10 Chinese food
spaces and
they want their general sales on it because we're going
to be moving so much product that
we get like dollar
a barrel general sales
because they want
to move the...
You know what I mean? It they want to move the... They should almost operate General Tso.
You know what I mean?
It's kind of like the Groupon.
Pushing bricks, dude.
Just like barrels full of raw calamari.
Yeah.
Well, in a Groupon, that's what people did.
They made their products almost operating at a loss.
We're Groupon meets Seamless meets Uber.
I love that.
How does that not sell?
Oh, yes.
How does that not sell?
I'm in as an investor and as a customer i'm not even done dude
on a second way to make money alcohol and wine sponsorships so you you pair it with the wine
yeah you pair it with the wine but you have you have a little vineyard you know up in up in new
york state you know the cat skills mics out now they don't know because they don't have you go
into a wine store they have you know someone there pouring little glasses but maybe you should actually pair it with the food what
if there was like a local bar that could get in on this and was like we'll also pair a cocktail
and tell us how many people have them give you like all the ingredients to make your own cocktails
like an extra page on seamless when you're checking out like if i bought if i bought spaghetti and
then it's like check out it it's like, hey, this local
wine store recommends this wine pairing.
Do you want us to pick it up too?
That's a really good idea.
You like the way guys are in, huh?
Yeah, I'm definitely intrigued.
I'm down. How much is the app?
The app is free, bro.
You make the money off the restaurant.
Yeah, because Seamless is free.
We make the money off the restaurant.
We make the money off the alcohol deals. How much money do you take and how much money off the restaurant. Yeah, because Seamless is free. We make the money off the restaurant. We make the money off the alcohol deals. What's the commission?
How much money do you take
and how much money does the restaurant take?
The restaurant, 50-50.
Let's call it easy.
Why are they taking any money?
Don't you pay for the food?
Why are they taking any money?
You already said 50-50.
All of them are listening right now.
That's a contract.
We get half the profits too.
Why wouldn't they take money?
You just pay for the food.
We're kind of price gouging them a little bit.
Why would Jeff take money, I guess?
I'm providing the service.
But they're cooking the food and using the ingredients.
So Seamless makes money off of...
We're ordering food.
There's a service fee, like a delivery fee.
So you just charge a service fee.
Right.
So it's not 50-50.
That's not a service fee.
You keep 100% of the service fee correct
but they get but they get paid for the food maybe because my third idea is stealing food
from restaurants and then texting my friend who wants it all right well who i mean let's go a
little let's go around the bend huh unless you got anything else cooked up that's about it i mean
here how you feeling just as fuck you jake why don't you want the slides. No, that's about it. Amir, how are you feeling? The last slide just says, fuck you, Jake.
Why don't you want the idea?
The one thing that I'm a little bit worried about
is why would I use you guys
instead of just ordering from three different restaurants?
Then you're paying a tip and tax at three different restaurants.
And you're not getting the food at the same time.
No, and it's so much effort.
Like if Mike wants sushi,
if I want pasta,
and if Jeff wants Mediterranean,
it's not like Jeff wants hummus and chickpeas
and I want spaghetti meatballs
and you want tuna.
I love tuna.
That is probably what we'll end up getting, but you have to go to three different restaurants
pages. You have to look at the entire menu.
You have to check out three different times.
So what's the ordering process?
Let's say all of us want dinner. We go to Tastemaker app
and then what do we do?
And then you can filter
like Seamless by Cuisines, but
we only service... So we'll say Italian, Japanese, Mediterranean, and then one person goes to the pacemaker and then you can filter like Seamless by cuisines but we only service
so we'll say Italian, Japanese, Mediterranean
and then what
and then it pops up with
with the one big
or the two to three most popular dishes
so it's
most popular combos
on Seamless right now you can check like Indian
Thai like you can check the cuisines that you're interested in
but we're only doing you can do that in this app.
Like, okay, hey, somebody here wants Indian.
Someone wants Thai.
Someone wants Italian.
And then the next page just recommends three dishes from three restaurants.
And I think you can share your combination of dishes.
I call this one the mic, and it's like a whole thing.
This is perfect for Sunday when you're hungover and you can't eat until 4 p.m.
It's friends giving potluck.
Yeah, pot'm starving. But it's also
the signature dish in the sense that
they're making
one to two dishes.
That's what the restaurant has to do
really well.
We're not offering 50 things.
Seamless can be overwhelming.
That's exactly why it's perfect.
The illusion of choice.
So Amir, are you in as a customer and investor?
I'd like to use it
as a customer first
before I invest
just because I'd like to see
what the product flow is like.
We're not allowing him on the app.
Definitely not.
Definitely not for the beta version.
Yeah.
At the very least,
the second round of investment.
You know,
collect your money
from your little angel investors now
and then when you need the big bucks,
you come crawling to daddy
so I can kick you in the chin
and write you a $4 million check.
And you know what?
Keep the change,
keep the service fee,
keep the hummus,
and I'll take the sushi for free.
And actually,
I'll drink some diarrhea water.
A fucking hot, tall glass
of David's McDavid taco water.
Jacob, how are you feeling?
I'm in. I'm in. Both. Customer and investor.
I love it. David?
I'm also in as a customer, investor,
and most importantly, a friend to all of you.
Great. I'm in as a customer and an investor.
I love it. I'm out as a friend.
I don't want to be cool with you guys anymore.
Thanks, guys.
Great job, Jeff.
PowerPoint slides.
Two for two, folks.
I guess we are.
You invested in Dave's.
Yeah, but I don't want to clump these two ideas together
as equally successful.
Because one's good and one's poor.
There's nothing clumpy about the David, I'll tell you that.
Everything's clumpy about it.
It's all liquid.
Let me ask you something.
How many privately owned drones are there in the United States?
61,450.
Way more than that.
A million.
What did you say?
A million.
David?
Privately owned?
Privately owned, like consumer-grade privately owned drones.
Jeff is going to say 27,000.
And I'm going to say 750,000.
Never mind, $1. $1. dollar one million on the nose now it's hard
that's one million what fuck yeah now it's hard to know there's a lot of like weird statistics
but basically drones are one of the fastest growing markets for consumer electronics that
there are that they're just going out there okay you got dji you got all these drone companies
what do you get when you're like your friend's boyfriend you don't know him but you're like i bet he would like a drone i got
one for free i'll just give him the drone people love drones you know what else is cool sending
people messages in the sky skywriters how fun like everyone takes photos of messages in the sky
when there's one out there what i'm proposing is a new kind of drone that is a personal sky writer where you can write
messages in the sky a sky writing drone and i call it easy writer right it's a pretty cool drone
yeah uh basically that's my idea is that all the drones are cameras nowadays everyone's worrying
about how do i put a gopro how to do this i think a sky writer would be pretty fucking fun because
it's an attachment yeah i mean i think i can sell this to dji as like here's my technology
i have this uh you know almost like a no2 yeah that's whatever it is in the sky with and i have
many ones that are rechargeable at station brick and mortar locations that will put around or you
can charge them at a radio shack you can charge them at a best buy again refilled and it's just a drone that's a sky writer why not call it easy writer
sky writing on sky writer write your own story oh write your own i'm asking on behalf of the
nation here uh a select few of us believe in chemtrails do you know yeah there's a chemtrails
attachment you can also just like you know agent, too. You can put a whole bunch of stuff.
Oh, you can use this for biological warfare?
It's hackable.
Potentially?
I'll say that.
It's hackable.
Maypalm.
Oh.
Yeah, it's hackable.
Interesting.
Is it trackable?
That's not our fault.
It's hackable, not trackable, my man.
Stackable?
Like if you were to buy two or three?
Yeah, the cash is stackable that I'll be selling once these are...
Oh, yes, dude.
Woo!
Prices around $250.
You know, it's...
Is it an attachment or is it a drone itself?
It's its own drone, and I'd be happy to...
So we need to have a control so you, like, knew when to...
Yeah, there's a proprietary control that has a release, yeah.
And also that you can actually control it with your phone,
because who the fuck wants a...
Your own drone phone?
Your own drone phone.
So you control it with your phone, so A, so a you can like pre-spell out words i'm alone when i say i'd like to own my own drone
phone yeah if you're alone and owning the drone phone i can have a lone drone phone myself could
you loan me a couple bones so i could buy my own drone phone i'll loan you a bone phone to get a
drone phone we're out all right that's all the time we got for the episode.
Guys, you can pre-program words in there in its message.
That's my favorite part.
Do you know how hard it would be
to actually spell the letters out?
So basically, your phone, you are the pilot.
You're both the pilot.
Does it spell it out like the old school cursive?
You're a writer, you're a tennis player.
Can I give you a pitch for the commercial?
Yeah.
Can I give you a pitch for the commercial?
Yeah.
It's a guy and he writes in the sky to a lovely lady, I love you.
Or another guy.
I think it's fine that a guy would write that to another guy.
You're going to make me fucking puke, dude.
Ew.
So he writes, I love you, and then will you –
Fuck yeah, that's hot.
Tell me more.
And he writes, will you marry me?
And there's – you know, you can respond with no and also in the sky and also she has her own drone i thought that's what it was getting to what she responds
with her own drone oh that's really that it was the entire time i was getting there i also think
it'd be fun uh let's open up that commercial because a lot of people are like we're too we're
too connected to our phones nowadays that's a lot of you see a lot of shows people just like with
their heads don't have a date.
So you think this couple is unhappy
with their headphones.
You think they're playing
a game on their phone,
but then you look up
to the sky
and he's writing,
baby, I love you.
Oh, that's good.
I think there should still
be a camera attached to it
so you could film
the reaction from people.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, basically,
you can use your
rear-facing phone
while the app is on.
Is it the type of skywriting
where the plane is doing the shapes
of the letters, or is it the new kind where it's just like dots?
It's almost like a sky printer.
No, I don't like that.
Dots would make more sense.
We don't do dots. We do it the old-fashioned way.
The plane writes the letter.
How far does the plane need to travel
for it to make the letters readable from the sky?
How much does that...
That's a fair question.
What happens is that we have a special chemical
with our spray that actually makes the letters.
And so it's thicker.
It's a bright white.
It doesn't dissipate as quickly either.
So you don't have to write it as big.
It never goes away.
It's non-erasable skywriting.
It's called permanent clouds.
I want a Mr. Bird style.
Create darkness, infinite darkness almost
but yeah that's my idea if it's possible i'm in i mean it is possible it's completely possible
is it absolutely have you searched to see if it actually exists no i never do because if i do that
for my ideas half of them will be done i write like your idea of sandwiches yeah you have to
google mini sandwiches yeah i have to google mini sandwiches
yeah I have to just
you know
what are people writing
other than like proposals
what if I was just
wrote fuck you
next to your window
yeah
what if I wrote fuck you
yeah that's cool
I was thinking more like
the application of
Jeff sucks
say I have a midterm
and I need to know
yeah cheating
that's actually a really good idea
that's actually a really good idea
huh
it's funny your mind goes right there
because every teacher will be like
you can't tell what class it's for
and if it's just multiple choice,
you can do like A.
Succeeding, Jake?
Succeeding.
B.
Yeah.
C.
In the sky,
you can just do like multiple choice answers.
Or in case of like maybe there's,
no, don't go there, Dave.
Yeah, go there.
I was going to say it's some sort of crisis
and we needed to instead of-
SOS.
Yeah, an SOS type of thing.
Sauce?
I'll go there.
They're selling sauce?
Hey, the guys are selling good sauce over there.
Let's go over.
Guys, how do you guys feel? Can I count you in
for stuff? Yeah, I'm in for one Skyrider.
It's $250, Skyrider.
Oh, I forgot to ask.
Yeah, the price is $250.
Our ultimate goal is to sell it to DJI,
who's the biggest drone manufacturer in the world.
Do you buy the cloud separately?
That's what I was going to ask.
No, but you can refill the clouds at Best Buy.
How much is that?
All that.
It's standard NO2 refill.
Yeah, how do you make the Skyrider?
I'd say like $20 will get you enough gas for a month.
What chemical is that?
But like Best Buy is going to make gas?
Wouldn't it be like a...
We have proprietary tanks that we'll put by the entrance.
You don't even have to interact with the Best Buy employees.
Is that where you buy drones right now?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, it's all electronic.
So we'll have a refill station similar to like a propane tank fill up.
Does that not weigh down the drone?
Can I ask that?
Does that CO2, NO2, whatever?
It's actually lighter than air.
It's actually lighter than air.
So it's actually lighter.
Such a specific question from a guy who's selling
diarrhea.
You're worried about the chemicals now?
Yeah, that's what you're worried about.
Is that good for the environment?
That's fair.
I want people to drink their own shit, but I'm kind of worried about
the trails that it's going to leave.
I mean, these things are made
in such a way where the balance is perfect,
and I'm worried about the shifting in the weight.
You use more, you use less.
Are your socks pizza?
Yes.
He's not even saying pizza is designed.
You're wearing two slices of pepperoni pie.
The sauce is so hot, it burned off your leg hair.
You'll never grow it back, man.
David, are you in?
Oh, yeah.
Great.
Jeffrey?
Yeah, I'm in.
Great.
Guess who's getting a couple Skywriters for Christmas?
Who?
Me.
Yeah.
I have to test these out before they hit the market.
Yeah, Def Down.
Sounds awesome.
All right, great.
That was three solid.
Was that a perfect game, almost?
Technically, even though Dave's idea was poison.
Yeah, but once I found out.
If David went third, it would definitely be a no.
He cheated.
No means yes
in my book. Yes, I am no.
Alright, we're going to play
a few ads. We're going to do little ads and we're going to come back
and hear from the high council of
HeadGum, Jake and Amir. Can't wait.
Get an Oprah money.
No, let the song play.
And hit it.
Getting Oprah money, getting, getting Oprah money.
Getting Oprah money, getting, getting Oprah money.
Getting Oprah money, getting, getting Oprah money.
Getting Oprah money. All right.
We're back.
Amir was going to do it.
Yeah.
All right.
And whenever you're ready.
What up, what up, what up?
It's your boy, baby bloom, Mike Carnell.
Yes.
All right.
Nailed it.
I'm obsolete.
No, no, no.
I don't matter.
You can go from now.
Anyone can do it.
Well, that's true, but I didn't say that.
You should move back home, leave the city.
No, you still have a job.
That's a nice idea, though.
Your parents would appreciate that.
You can ride your Skyrider all the way back home.
Just grab it.
I just fly my Skyrider to my parents' house and say, come pick me up.
Are there drones that can pick up a human?
No.
Cool.
I mean, those are just planes.
Sorry, this is my pitch.
All right.
Well, guys, we normally hear from the Twinnovation Nation in the back half of the episode.
But, of course, the High Council.
Technically, we are the Twinnovation Nation.
You are.
You have High Council members in the room with you this time.
Yeah, but you're more distinguished than some of our other fans.
No offense, family members, but these are the guys that make it possible.
We're all one nation.
We want to hear you out.
We want to hear you out.
We want to hear what you have to say.
Who wants to go first?
What's your idea, man?
Who wants to go first?
What's your idea?
I'll go first.
All right, me or Bloomfield?
Go first.
You volunteered like that wasn't the best time. I'll go first. Amir Bloomfield going first.
You volunteered like that wasn't the best time.
I'll go first.
Okay, I'll go.
I'll close out the show.
I want to close out the show.
Who has the better idea?
I think I have a better idea.
Amir, you said you've been working on it for 20 years?
Yeah, my idea is really good.
His idea is going to have to be great to undo this.
All right, let's hear it.
What's the worst part about sleeping?
Having to wake up
jesus that was depressing that was fucking never mind jake can go first i think sometimes it gets too hot okay i got something worse than that david uh i don't like
when my ball sack touches my thighs okay that, that has nothing to do with sleeping. I sleepwalk and sleepwalk.
That just happens.
I mean, probably it's happening now.
Because you don't wear underwear.
Well, you don't wear underwear, Dave.
I'm saying it wakes me up.
I don't wear underwear.
Well, what else wakes you up in the middle of the night?
Breathing improperly.
Okay, sleep apnea.
Sleep apnea.
Nightmares.
I know the answer.
No, don't.
Let us guess.
Nightmares.
No, not nightmares.
When you fall asleep to an action-adventure movie
and it gets to the climax and it's really big guns, heavy blasts.
Do you guys ever wake up in the middle of the night to urinate?
No.
No.
Do you guys ever wake up and it's really early and you have to pee?
Rarely.
I don't have the sensation to have to pee until I've woken up. I'm like, oh, now I have to pee, but I've never been woken up to pee rarely i don't have to pee i don't have the sensation to have to
pee until i wait i've woken up i'm like oh now i have to pee but i've never been woken up to
okay we're more poopers than piss yeah it's a lot of if you're talking poop then sure i've gotten
oftentimes i'll wake up at 7 a.m before i want to wake up work with your invention well let's get
to there okay sure uh i'll wake up early and i'm like oh i don't want to wake up but i have to pee
so i'll get up at 7 or 7 30 and that action wakes me up beyond to the point where I can
go back to sleep.
I have trouble going back to sleep as well.
Yeah.
Going back to sleep is hard.
What if you didn't have to get out of bed to pee?
What if there was a little slot door in the mattress that you can just open up, roll over
and urinate while you're still in bed.
Whoa.
So there's a hole?
There's a hole.
That's right, folks.
In the mattress, maybe shaped like a fleshlight
so that it feels good.
And locks your penis in so it makes sure it goes into one thing.
Exactly right.
Very women-friendly, but go on.
And then the hole slides to a compartment,
completely sound and smell-proof.
Why does it need to be sound-proof?
Because you don't want the sound...
Because it's not a pee for your lover.
Exactly right.
Very nice.
Piece of shit.
Why does it have to be sound-proof?
Leave the room.
Why do you have to be sound-proofed?
Did you not love me as an investor?
Of course you were sound-proof.
Then in the morning, you slide it out from under your bed.
It's like a bedpan.
And you dump it out when you're ready to's like a bed pan and you dump it out
when you're ready to wake up you don't have to wake up to go to the bathroom to pee you can do
it from the comfort of your own bed sometimes i considered pissing myself just to avoid that and
i was like wait a minute there's got to be a better way you're peeing right now absolutely
uh and it's a mattress that's you know like a casper or a Lisa type mattress. Why not like a waterbed, though?
Just fill it with the pee.
Yeah, I don't want to sleep on a seat.
That's a lot of pee, too.
Yeah, it's a lot of pee.
What's the name of the product?
So far, what I have is Bedwetter.
That's just a name for the guy who's using the product.
Right, a bedwet or a wet bed.
So something with shoot or bed or pan.
Pan bed?
A bed pan?
Bed pan?
Bed pan's a thing.
Pan flavor?
Pan's labyrinth is not bad, actually.
What about bed better?
Oh, bed better.
Don't be a bed wetter.
Decide to bed better.
Ooh, yeah.
With a wet bedder.
So it's a mattress slash toilet system.
So you sell mattresses?
The toilet mattress.
Yeah, it's a toilet mattress.
That's great.
How big is the tank?
Great question.
I don't feel like you have to like the idea just because he...
15 gallons.
So you don't have to empty it every day.
Because it's smell proof.
So when you do have to empty it, you're carrying 15 gallons of piss into the toilet.
And then scrubbing the piss jars.
I honestly think that a gallon is enough.
I think a gallon is enough.
It's soundproof and smellproof,
but you have to ask your significant other
to help you carry it to the bathroom.
It's not that big.
I was just joking.
Let's say it's the size.
It's a two liter bottle, let's say.
Enough to use a single use.
Why do you pee two liters of pee every time?
No, at most.
You won't pee more than that.
True.
Can you use it for shit?
Great question.
I guess if the opening was a little wider and you could pair it up with a nice David.
Because you'd have to wipe.
Wiping wakes you up.
I was going to say for maybe,
because it seems more like a drunken thing
than anything else,
so like pissing and puking, you know?
Instead of having
can you puke into your uh bed better yeah i guess the tube would be roughly the size of four dicks
so you can probably fix your mouth use it at the same time like if me and jeff were sharing a bed
or something as we often do yeah he's shitting you're puking i don't know the uh genet or not
genetic but the physiological makeup that would allow girls to use it.
But I'm sure we can figure something out for that.
Some type of pipe or tube, I think, would work.
Yeah, a pipe or a tube.
Well, I think for girls, you have to have a funnel attachment.
Yeah, a funnel.
Like, have you ever been to the dentist and you spit up into that?
Yeah.
So does it suck your pee down?
That's different than a funnel.
That's a funnel.
That was a really good sound effect.
Yeah.
You guys aren't wearing microphones,
but it was exactly what it sounds like.
So is it sucking the pee down?
It's also that?
Your wiener gets sucked off your body?
No, no, no.
For the dick one, it's just normal hole.
But it's a fleshlight?
I was just suggesting maybe it can feel a little tight.
A little soft and tight.
It's a hole in your bed that you can piss pee in.
Actually, now that I'm thinking about it,
this could work for semen.
Let's say it's a fleshlight that you fuck your mattress.
The semen goes into the receptacle.
Now I'm in.
Smell-proof, sound-proof, your lover's...
You're probably saving money on tissues, socks,
whatever that you're coming into.
You could get into a real fight
if you're sleeping next to your girlfriend
and masturbating with a fleshlight.
But she doesn't have to know.
You're just fucking grinding up on a bed.
That's the whole ride soundproof, baby.
I feel like it has to be kind of like a vacuum seal,
kind of like compressed air to really suck it out of you.
Here's a question for you.
What's the worst part about masturbation?
We're going to cut the last 15 minutes.
How much are they going for?
I guess roughly the cost of a mattress because
nine hundred yeah it's like 500 600 bucks yeah 500 600 can you make this an attachment for my
existing mattress say i don't need the mattress but i love the product can i still enjoy it uh
it's tough with spring mattresses because once you like i have a memory slice a whole yeah with
a memory phone it's from it's easy you just slice out a cylinder of it and it doesn't really
compromise the integrity of the mattress.
But I think there's a lot of money to be made in mattresses.
There's a lot of new companies that are making mattresses on the cheap
and undercutting the competition.
Mattresses are kind of a racket.
I don't know if you guys ever purchased a mattress recently.
This is a Lisa ad baked into your mouth.
What's Lisa?
It's the same thing.
It's a mattress that you get delivered to your house.
But you can't quite fuck it.
Or shit or piss or puke.
How about fuck it?
Buy our mattresses.
That's the tagline.
If I needed a new mattress, I would say,
I mean, I let off with, I don't get woken up to pee.
I think it's a good idea, though,
for the octogenarians out there, pee. I think it's a good idea, though, for the octogenarians out there, too.
I think it's more prevalent than you think,
the fact that you have to wake up to pee.
I don't do it in the middle of the night,
but at the end of the night.
I think your key demo is
chronically, clinically depressed people
who don't want to leave their bed.
Who don't want to wake up.
Muscle atrophy.
It's for the real slugs in the world. It's kind of like a bedpan that's baked into your mattress, their bed oh so like you don't want to wake up yeah yeah yeah muscle atrophy this is you know
for for the real slugs in the world it's kind of like a bedpan that's baked into your mattress so
you don't even have to stand up i think because once you stand up you're sort of awake once you
stand up you wake up don't be a bed wetter bed better with fuck a bed uh davey how you feeling
uh i don't like the idea at all. I think it's crass.
It even worked your idea of diarrhea.
Oh, sorry.
I didn't finish it.
You drink the diarrhea at the end.
Are you in on that, you piece of shit?
You live in Canada, so you have to eat diarrhea.
That's your idea.
Nick just walked in for the second half of this podcast.
Dave's idea is Canadians eat their own diarrhea, essentially.
Something like that.
So it's too crass for you, you're out.
The biggest endorsement I can have for my products
is the fact that you're not into it.
That's going on the box.
My idea took a solid three hours of thinking.
Before this podcast started, you said this idea of yours
is over two decades in the making
and it's basically to
sleep on a piss bed. No, it's not.
There's no piss. It's all underneath.
You're still sleeping
above the piss. Sure, you're sleeping
above piss, but I guess you're always sleeping
above something. There's pipes
under your floor. There's
pee in your body. What?
That being said, I also don't like it.
Yeah, you're out?
I'm out as a customer,
but I actually am inside as an investor.
Okay.
He wants to be in the bedpan.
Well, you pee.
You wake up in the middle of the night to pee.
Yeah, but I don't want to carry the pee with me
in the morning to the bathroom.
Once a day, it's safe to get it out.
You have to clean out a pan of piss.
What if it's like a...
You know how the oil...
You pour it out and you put it back in.
How about it's a bigger tank
and you own a household,
you have to get...
Straight into the plumbing or
a guy comes every three months.
There's a plumbing back of a bunch of shit shoots up through your mattress the hose from the street and it's just
like people know oh we gotta we gotta back up there's a bunch of shit coming in a real toilet
attached to a mattress is more appealing but like i think you just need to make your bathroom a
little less like jarring you know take the fluorescent lighting out that'd be a pretty
tough sell to try a nightlight what do you mean like you don't have to turn on the light you know take the fluorescent lighting out that'd be a pretty tough try a nightlight what do you mean like you'd have to turn on the light you know you can still pee in the dark so
i'm saying getting up wakes me up yeah once i'm out of bed i have a real tough time i could always
fall back but like rolling over to piss in like a tube isn't gonna wake you up no because i'm
already face down on the bed i just have to shift until i line myself up like i'm refueling a jet
midair there's also like there's drops you're you drip afterwards
you like you're once you start peeing you can go to bed you're sleeping through that it'll dry
itself out if anything it's more it seems like you're also sort of like slowly training yourself
to start wetting the bed yeah because what if you're in a bed that doesn't have it suddenly
you start recommending it that's why it should be in hotels it should be in motels it should be
at holiday that's really disgusting because you're
sleeping in a bunch of other people's pee.
You're not sleeping in the pee.
Am I not explaining this correctly?
I get it, but I think it might be troublesome
if you're wasted and you go back to a girl's
apartment thinking you're in your apartment
and you're just pissed.
If you're drunk and you pee in another
person's bed, I guess you can make that a
problem right now. Hey, you can get really drunk and pee in another person's bed. I guess you can make that a problem right now. Hey, you can get really drunk
and pee in another person's bed.
That's it.
That's it.
This is insane.
We all invested in drinking diarrhea.
I came in with a great idea
and you're fucking picking holes in it
because it's training you
to live a better life.
I'm sorry.
It's training me to piss my bed.
I'm going to embarrass myself.
You still have like,
if it's peeing in a toilet,
it's nice because you flush it
and it's gone
and you don't have to care
First of all,
you shouldn't flush your pee if we're in a drought.
Now you're in New York, buddy.
We're drinking our shit water.
You don't even have to.
I'm drinking my own shit.
David's idea was to drink shit water and that was fine.
That's not fair.
I wasn't drinking the shit.
David's idea was a touch to a government contract.
I wasn't drinking the shit.
I was selling things that would help people drink their own shit.
Correct, Dave?
Yes.
My idea was going to revolutionize the way third world countries take care of a lot of
people.
I mean, on the name, the bedave changes the world.
Pee your bed is a good slogan.
It's making that a positive, doable attribute.
That's true.
What about in the UK
advertising we could just piss off
oh that's good piss off
sorry I have to start
who's in and who's out
I was in until you yelled at us
now you are
now I'm out
no customer no investor though
do you think there's a market for this
I think there's a market for it I'd happy to be an investor because i think if we attack uh the octogenarian market and sort of
that if we go heavy on them and we do grassroots campaign for young people i'm octogenarians have
nurses to carry out their pee they're not going to do not everyone has that now they don't have
to my friend they said the nurse is still empty those nurses are super expensive yeah you don't
know you're talking a100,000 a year
when you're above $80,000 in terms of care.
In-home care.
Now the bed better is
helping us cut those costs out of our
parents' lives who, quite frankly,
we have to look out for them, but sometimes it's hard
to afford. I'm happy to be an investor
in the bed better and attack that market.
I'd like to ask one more question. Is that part
of the bed slightly uncomfortable? That was actually my next question no it's not how does it open
is there an open hole all the time or do i pull back some of the mattress stuff you can either
have a lever that opens it or at that point you have to be awake you're wide awake pulling a
lever scooting your body over into a hole that's, no, no. They probably make enough thinking about how you have to
carry the bottle of pee down into...
You don't do that until you're fully awake.
There are holes in here and I'm out.
What if there's a filtration system
in the mattress turns the piss
into drinkable water so when you wake up
you have a nice...
You have a nice tall glass of water.
Here's how you're drinking the shit.
You ever seen Waterworld?
You can change the piss.
Kevin Costner can do it.
I don't think you drink that,
but that water that's filtered, the piss water,
can water the plants in the room.
You can drink piss water.
You cannot drink piss water.
You can drink filtered piss water.
Also, second question.
Your pitch is to drink the water.
Yes or no, can we drink the piss out of the bedpan?
I wouldn't recommend drinking the piss water.
I cannot believe I'm answering these questions.
Is it his and your two?
You're a room full of fools.
I'm pitching you guys a mattress that you don't have to get out of bed to pee in.
You're asking me if you can drink your own urine.
You asked us at the top if this is a problem we had.
We said no.
And now you're telling me there's a lever I have to pull or what am I pulling?
Foam out of the way? No, no or what am I pulling foam out of the way?
No, no, you're not
pulling foam out of the way.
There's a hole
in your mattress.
There's just a hole?
And you pierce it
with your dick.
So you don't have
a fitted mattress sheet?
You have a fitted mattress sheet.
So there's like a slit.
I didn't even think
about the sheet.
A slit.
Oh, what about the sheet?
There's a slit.
Now I have a hole.
Now I have to buy
separate sheets.
Now you don't have
to buy a separate sheet.
You only need one sheet. It's only going to go on the same mattress. Do you have different mattresses or different sheets Now you don't have to buy a separate sheet You only need one sheet
It's only going to
have the same mattress
Do you have different
mattresses or different
sheets in your house
No you have one sheet
one mattress
one slit
You pee in it
Fuck you guys
I don't want to be
here anymore
It's insane
I'm just saying
Are there pre-cut holes
in the sheets
Now you gotta slit it
where the hole is
Well I don't want to do that
Why not
Because I paid good money
for the sheets
The sheet goes on
your bed that's what the sheet's for but now there's a hole in it it doesn't matter that's
how you piss it compromises i don't want to piss you don't have to piss but now i have to because
the hole's there i paid all this money for it you should really be able to line it up with where
your junk is actually so that hole will be in a different place what if a girl sleeps over and then you have to pee you just pee with her there
if you're i mean it's like i have a i have a night guard do i do i wear it on the first date
no but maybe if i'm comfortable enough someday i'll pee the hole i'm out
i'm out hard on bothron. Jeff is pretty in.
I'm in as an investor.
Holy shit, finally.
I think it's a brilliant idea.
Someone has the balls to stand up for the brilliant.
You guys are like the people that I'm going door-to-door
selling the first television.
You're like, can you drink your own pee out of it?
No, you can't drink your own pee.
You watch shit.
It's this sort of attitude.
You're very aggressive to potential investors.
You already said you were out.
Yeah, I'm out.
Okay, Jeff's in.
I'm in as an investor and a customer.
Those are normal sheets you cut your own slit.
I'm going to get into the sheet game.
Smart.
The byproduct we can package together.
That's a good sheet plus mattress market.
We have the sheets with the slits in them,
but it also has
flashlight technology, so it feels comfortable.
It feels welcoming. Maybe there's even
a heating apparatus involved
with it just to make you feel a little more comfortable.
Hell, I'll dock my dick in there before I fall
asleep. That way I don't have to do any wiggling
around. I'm in.
I'm in as an investor and a fucker.
I'm out.
Oh, you're out, David?
David's out.
David's out.
Okay, no, that's good to know.
Dave, on multiple occasions,
multiple occasions has pissed the bed.
Yeah, yeah.
You already treat every mattress
like it's got a bed better in it.
Yeah, you do.
What do you think?
What do you think, guy,
who thinks we should drink diarrhea?
Do you think this is a good idea?
I don't think it's a good idea.
All right, so you agree with diarrhea, man.
I think my idea sort of covers the whole pee-pee-poopy industry.
We don't need any competition in that market.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Dave's phone case is the top half of a Mophie.
Yeah, yeah, he doesn't have a phone record.
Do you agree with half Mophie, man?
That's the real question.
Or do you agree with a guy with some sense of sensibility?
Well, we've touched on it.
I want Dave to start selling bottom halves of Mophies.
What is the point of it?
It doesn't charge you.
It acts as a case.
But no, it doesn't, because the most important part at the bottom is also cracked.
Well, it's been jeopardizing the integrity of the product.
Let's not attack David, okay?
You pitched a horrible product that doesn't make any sense, and we're out.
You and Jeff can go fuck your bed
jeff's the only one who's in deep jeff's the only one who's in i think there's a market i think
there's money to be made i may not believe in the product but i believe in the pricing and
it's a bad idea i don't know he thinks it's a good idea it's a good idea and i think you're
you're actually a really sweet man and thank you for all the opportunities that you've afforded us
oh wow having said that i think our ad rate is a little low
and the percentage numbers are kind of skewed
in your favor.
It is 90-10 us.
Jake, you're in?
Jake's out. Dave's out. Jeff's in.
Mike's pissed and out.
Mike's pissed and in.
Alright, Jake Hurwitz.
Your time to shine.
Oh, how about don't get pissed off.
Get pissed in. You lost air before. All right, guys, this is it. Your time to shine. Oh, how about don't get pissed off, get pissed in.
You lost air before.
Open up your mouth and take some piss.
I think this one's really going to change.
This one's, it's a high class idea.
Okay.
So let's try to everybody get there.
What's the worst part about flying?
On a plane?
Yeah, having to leave your loved ones behind.
Flying like just in your body is like
that's great there's nothing bad about all right uh security uh i think there's not enough room
crying baby crying baby okay delays and did you not hear mine having to leave loved ones behind
sure uh what if they're flying with you they wouldn't be not where i go oh you gotta go to
the bathroom room and delays yeah that's you can't
piss from your seat that is my idea is a fleshlight where you fuck your seat so this is the idea it's
uber meets fedex meets the future okay it's seamless meet the Rosenbergs. Meet the parents. Beat your meat.
No meat.
Thank you.
I press a button on an app.
Somebody comes.
This is your app.
Yeah.
They take my carry-on, and they ship it to where I'm going.
So I don't have to fly with a bag.
I just show up, and my bag's there.
Is that service cheaper than checking a bag?
Yes.
To ship a bag. Isn't the airplane than checking a bag? Yes. To ship a bag.
Isn't the airplane already shipping the bag?
It's going to be more expensive because you have to make money.
What was the answer to the question?
It'll be more expensive.
What was the answer to the worst part about flying?
Oh, I mean that it's stressful.
And one of the reasons that it's stressful is because of all the shit you go through to bring a big bag.
I carry on.
That's what I'm saying.
Carry on bags.
I always carry on.
Yeah, exactly.
You have to bring a bag through the airport.
You have to wait in front of your gate. You have to
try to fight to be the first person on the plane so the overhead
doesn't... Oh, so you would do it with your backpack even?
No, your backpack you'd probably bring because
you want stuff like snacks.
Have you ever been the first person on a plane?
Get rid of carry-ons.
So is your package
on the flight or it's on a different
freight flight? I thought about both of them.
I think there's one version
where you partner with FedEx or UPS
and you do overnight shipping for your bag.
But then there's another thing
where it's waiting for you
at your hotel.
How did it get there faster than you?
Because you have a courier bringing it.
You're about to leave your house
and then your bag...
Night before, I shit my bag
Yeah night before
You pack up
You pack up night before
There you go
You like leave one thing
And close out
It's almost more effort
It's not more effort
It's not more effort
You have to pack
You pack in the morning
That you fly
Yes
Trash bags
I just bring a trash bag
On the plane
I carry on
Dave you
No matter what
This idea is for you
For carrying on
I love carrying on.
Don't you need the stuff that you're carrying on?
It's going to be there when you get it.
Why are you wearing that?
Don't you want it on the flight?
Sorry, let's start again.
He has a different idea. Do your other idea.
That's what a carry-on is.
We're going to give you the first ever chance to back out.
Are you backing out?
Welcome to the shark tank, my friend.
Munch, munch, munch.
Smell blood in the water, boys.
We go yipping for the nip.
Not all the ideas are going to be good.
I've got questions for y'all then.
Tell me why do you like carrying on your bag?
It's easy.
It has wheels.
It's not a nuisance.
And I always make sure I'm on the plane early to get a good spot.
So you have to line up early to fight the hordes of people.
I'm very competitive and it speaks to my competitive nature.
And then you also have to wait for everybody on the plane to take out their bag
from the kit. I'm going to have to wait anyway.
And then you have to wheel it across the entire airport,
toss it in the back of a cab, and then bring it up
a flight of stairs to your place.
The guys that pick me up take the bags
into the car and out of the car.
What guys pick you up? Either way, aren't I going to have to
carry my suitcase? How much would it cost to ship a suitcase overnight?
That sounds insane.
A $40 suitcase.
Wouldn't it be hundreds of dollars?
Well, this is why you partner with airlines
and you partner with hotels to drive down the cost.
I would say it's...
You're going to buy into the airlines...
$50 and $100.
...bag fee, and then you think they're going to partner with you?
They're not even going to pick up your fucking calls, bro.
What are you talking about?
Pick up your luggage? They're not going to pick up your call. That's how you talking about? Pick up your luggage?
They're not going to pick up your call.
That's how they make money.
They make money off of people paying extra for the check.
You think you're just going to dip into their fucking profits?
This makes the money.
They got really tight margins.
Very tight margins in the airlines.
People going carry-on
is what loses them money.
Checking bags costs money.
I have a question for Dave.
The bidet, actually.
It's growing on me after hearing that even shittier idea.
Holy shit.
I feel like this is a punked or something.
Not how you pictured it go, huh?
Yeah, it's not that easy.
At least I had Jeff.
I just don't see how you're going to ship these bags at a cheaper cost than it is.
It's not cheaper.
It's more expensive. And you have to do it is for life. It's not cheaper. It's more expensive.
And you have to do it the night before.
It's a luxury service. You don't have to fly with a bag.
What if they picked up your bag
and you're like, fuck, I forgot to put my suit in there.
I don't have a way to get the suit.
That's a problem. Wait, what do you mean?
That's a very specific problem, Mike.
I don't think that's fair to attack Jake that way.
Thank you, Dave.
It's a luxury item.
If you live a luxurious life
like Jake does,
then you do it.
It's not for fucking
poor little bitches like you.
That's actually a good question
because I want to know
how much the service is.
It's not for you, you guys.
I want to know
how much the service is.
It's for CEOs and presidents
of podcast companies.
It is.
It's for people flying first class
that don't feel like flying with a bag.
Your high class problems.
You know what your problem is?
You don't take the bus anymore.
You want to wet your bed.
Yeah.
That sounds fun. I'm trying to make money for people that have money. I mean, your problem is? You don't take the bus anymore. You want to wet your bed. Yeah. That sounds fun.
I'm trying to make money
for people that have money.
I mean,
how much is a service, bud?
A thousand dollars.
A month.
Blanket feed?
What if I'm just like,
hey,
I have a three hour flight
to JFK to...
What if it's a subscription model
and you pay...
In my head,
it's an upsell service.
Like the same way you upgrade
to first class
for another hundred bucks
or something.
You say,
hey,
or how about you don't want to...
You don't have to fly with the bag.
We'll come pick it up for you.
Do they unpack my bag
and hang up my clothes before?
They unpack your bag,
hang up your clothes,
and blow you if you want to
for an extra fee.
Are you talking about checked bags too
or just carry-ons?
Both, either one.
You just don't have to deal
with the bag anymore.
It's a courier service.
What do you do?
By the way,
it already exists in Japan.
Oh, so not an original thought.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
It's an original thought to integrate it into America to partner SPG and Delta. Yes, so not an original thought. Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, you want to
saran wrap women to America
to partner SPG and Delta.
Yeah, that's an original thought.
You know what else exists in Japan?
Bukake.
You can team up with
11 Japanese businessmen
and jerk off into a stripper.
I don't want to do that.
I do think Bukake boys
made a pretty decent amount of money,
so I'll invest in that too.
How about I jerk off
on your face, Bloomer?
Do it in my fucking mattress, bro.
Dave, Jeff,
does it seem like these guys weren't ready for the heat of the tank, huh?
They thought they could stroll in here.
Getting real defensive.
You thought you could just stroll in here and pitch anything you fucking wanted?
I've been scaling since I was, I can't even remember, 12 or 13.
I think if it's a luxury service.
You can already ship a bag, by the way.
You go to FedEx and ship a bag.
Well, that costs hundreds of dollars.
They want to unpack your bag and hang it up and iron your shirts for you.
Oh, that's what you want them to do?
Unpack your bag
and iron your shirts.
I'm trying to get one person
on my side.
So yeah,
whatever Mike wants
the product to be.
And it's $1,000?
No, it's $100.
How's that?
90% off.
I think you should be charging
for distance
depending on where you're going.
Yeah, what if it's
an international flight?
What if you leave
the following night?
We're not ready
to go international yet.
It's all domestic.
It's mostly like LA to New York. It's all domestic. It's mostly like L.A. to New York.
It's like that.
So just to clarify, it's totally like convenience,
so you don't have to carry a bag in the airport.
You don't have to carry on a bag.
Okay.
You can fly a lot quicker if you don't have to wheel a bag,
if you don't have to fly for the—
You know what?
This might be nice for people who have connecting flights too
because that's actually when I get the most nervous.
To not go through an airport with a bag is a huge luxury.
What do you do with the cheese sandwich you're trying to sneak on the flight?
That goes in your backpack.
You don't have to sneak the sandwich on a flight.
He's talking about a small roller.
A personal item is different.
So then the main benefit is that you don't have to wait
for luggage at the...
When everybody else is lining up,
like zone one, zone four,
you can just chill and read a magazine.
You don't have to be there until...
Or you can leave. You can just go, right? Go to your next destination.
Do you charge by weight?
Why are you hanging out, bud?
During boarding time.
It's shipping costs.
You have to charge by weight, bud.
First of all, you could theoretically
have a courier just bring the flight
and check the bag into the airplane,
because that only costs $25 to check a bag.
There's a world where you use that,
but then there's also a world where
the same way you...
These guys better be unpacking my goddamn bag
and hanging up my goddamn shirts.
Do you want to go opening your bag?
I would imagine I would want a lot of bags.
I imagine if I'm paying you the top-notch dollars
that you are, you hire trustworthy people
that I can trust with my bag.
What about some sort of system where you connect with,
say you're going to Portland,
you connect with someone who has a similar bill to you,
similar financial circumstances,
and you just get a package of their stuff.
Trade closets?
Yeah, something like that.
So you don't have to take anything.
You walk out with what you're wearing
and then their closet is open to you.
So the clothes are art.
It's like Airbnb for closets.
Yeah, it's like Trunk Club for Airbnb.
Yeah, it's like Uber meets Subway.
Meets Trunk Club meets Seamless.
I also have a scheme really quick.
Wait, we haven't even ended this idea.
I mean, everybody's obviously in.
Well, no, I wasn't in all the way.
I mean, we'll go around the table.
I want to go last.
Amir, how do you feel about this?
I'm definitely out.
What's the name of the service, by the way?
Wait, what's the name of the service?
Oh, it's called Carry Off.
Oh.
Thank you.
Very nice, Jake.
Good job.
It feels good to win their approval.
Amir, you wouldn't know what that felt like.
What are you talking about?
Jeff is in.
I wasn't.
He was in.
I wasn't.
So, Amir, you're out all the way?
Jeff's clearly the smartest one.
You're out all the way?
I am out.
It is a personal vendetta because he was out on my idea i'd like to create a little competition that's not how we
sell mattresses jake will sell i don't know japanese people taking your luggage from you
a night before don't make it racist and that's why we're not in business with you because you're
taking this personal he said it exists in japan right business is business and you're paying for
someone to uber to your house take it back to FedEx, and then also ship it across the country.
I know you're a new Fed.
You don't take it to FedEx when you ship it yourself, right?
What do you mean ship it yourself?
Like this guy's actually getting on a flight
and flying it across the country for you.
He's on your flight.
Ship it yourself.
He's selling your luggage.
He's running it.
Your luggage.
You sit next to him.
He has your luggage handcuffed to his arm.
Your luggage and a cooler with a kidney in it.
Yeah, on the black market.
I would say it's too cost prohibitive.
The cost of shipping your bag is not worth
not just carrying it yourself.
Interesting and fair.
It costs $25 to ship a bag.
I have a lot of logistical concerns with it
that I don't want to go too deep into.
I think you can
show up to the airport with your bag and then
the person that you hire is there
and then they get it to your hotel
destination. Like, you can bring the bag to the
airport. I don't think you need to have someone coming
to your place the night before. Let me finish.
I don't think you need to have someone coming to
your home the night before to ship it out.
But you can bring the bag to the airport. You're not going to get the bag there
on time if you don't do it the night before.
You could curbside check your bag
and you don't have to worry about picking it up.
You just say like,
imagine not waiting for your bag at a carousel
or imagine not taking your bag out of the overhead.
You could just grab a backpack and get off the plane
and go to your hotel and your stuff's there.
How does he take it from the airport
and get it to your destination quicker than you get there?
Because you have to do it a day before.
Dave's saying you don't
have to do that. There's holes in it.
I'm out.
It doesn't have to be
earlier than you. It could be at the same
time as you. Or it could be
slightly after. I mean, I could wait an hour.
Slightly after. Wow, the truth comes out.
Hey, how'd you like to get to your hotel?
Hey, your clothes aren't right there yet. I'm not going to wait for my goddamn
bag. It better be unpacked and folded and ironed and hung up fine it will be how
are they going to get into your room before you get there you already said you were out let him
check in for me i just don't want him to waste his money michael you can only invest in so many
part of this service is that they check in for me to my room they check in for you check in for me
and i give them they know when i'm coming and they know what i want from room service and the orders put in ex benedict sitting on the bed for you while
you want it and then they pop a hole into the hotel mattress so you can take a piss in it in
the middle of the night jeffrey how you feeling mining companies uh jeff is in for um uh closet
buddies i think that's a really good idea closet The closet sharing economy. That's good.
As for Jake's idea, I honestly don't really get it. The numbers
don't really work out for me.
Sure, it makes sense if you don't understand
the idea. I don't understand the idea.
I think I did a pretty good job of explaining it.
I spent the longest time with you last night and I still
get the most beef.
It sounds like two people that are out have
vendettas. Welcome to the business world.
Welcome to the tank.
Are we calling this show the tank?
You're going to cross people, and they're going to be mad at you.
I'm out as an investor, out as a customer,
and undecided about being a friend.
Wow, that's how bad you're feeling.
You decided last night when you left the bar to go hang out with Hank, didn't you?
Hank's really catching some heat.
I love Hank.
I don't.
So, Jeffy, you're out,
but you're in for Closet Buddies.
I'm in for Closet Buddies.
Closeted Buddies.
I'm in for a new idea.
Closet Buddies sounds like a very gay app
that you're trying to find somebody
that looks like you in Portland
and you go and hook up with them
and nobody has to know.
As long as it happens in a closet,
you can be your buddy.
You respect their fashion sense.
You know, they're clean, helpful, caring individuals
and closeted buddies.
I'm out.
You said you were in.
You said it before.
Didn't you?
Can I finish my explanation?
This is insane.
I'm out because of the attitude that you're exhibiting.
You're mad at me.
That makes sense.
I'm out as an investor.
As a customer, I'd do it
as long as my clothes get hung up
and my clothes get ironed
and my other stuff gets folded.
How much would you pay for that service
to not have to hold the bag?
To not have to shit my bag.
I mean, that's the thing is,
unless it's 50 bucks, I'm out.
It'll never be.
That doesn't scale.
And that's why I'm not an investor, but I'll be a customer if it's 50 bucks.'ll never be that's coming and that's why i'm not an investor but i'll be a customer if it's 50 a guy who thinks you won't have wanted to own a piece of that company no
because i don't think there's any way you're making money and i'd like to just take advantage
of the service i think delta all right but yeah sure i respect it namaste namaste thank you for
your time oh well now let's hear from david david how realistic is this company this coming from a
guy who thinks drinking shit is okay.
Do you think that this service is realistic?
More or less realistic than drinking diarrhea?
A lot of people would say that
one of the most renewable sort of resources
in the world is shit and human feces.
There's always going to be more of it.
The industry is never going to die.
It's self-propelling.
Unlike the airline industry, you know what I mean?
I think, of course.
People don't like to travel.
A couple of planes go down in the wrong places, all of a sudden the airline industry, you know what I mean? I think, of course. People don't like to travel. A couple of planes go down in the wrong places,
all of a sudden the airline industry is out for a month
or a year or 10 years.
And then what's the company going to do then?
It doesn't scale.
People are shitting four or five times a day.
No, they're not.
See how it doesn't matter what you say.
It's just how you say it.
Oh, I like that.
I'm in for this.
What are you describing?
Taking diarrhea instead of traveling?
Yeah, the fall of the airline industry.
I forgot.
Wait, David didn't say he was fall of the airline industry. I forgot.
Well, everybody... Wait, wait, David didn't say he was in or he was out.
I've been out for 10 or 15 years, actually.
He's out.
Wow.
Has everyone...
I'm the only customer, and I'm out as an investor.
Nobody else...
You're hurt.
Is this the first time four people have said no to an idea?
Yeah.
Well, we've never had that many people on the show.
I'm not hurt.
That is true.
I'm really shocked. Technically, this is the worst idea in twinnovation history. Technically, this is the worst idea. We've never had that many people. I'm not hurt. I'm really shocked.
Technically, this is the worst idea in twinnovation history.
Technically, this is the worst idea.
It seems like a luxury thing.
Dave and I, we're not big travelers.
Maybe once every two years.
I preface the pitch by saying it wasn't for you.
Tri-state area or bust?
Jersey, Connecticut, New York.
We're Greyhound kids.
I'm an as a customer, but yeah.
I don't think you're going to make money.
I don't think the margins are there.
Thanks, man.
I think it's a good thought, and I do think there's money to be made in sort of a luxury
item for high-end Japanese businessmen, as you described them.
Do you think there is money, but you said there wasn't money a second ago?
But I don't think it's enough for me to put my own up as collateral.
I would like to be a customer, see how the business runs, and maybe in a year or two,
come back to me, and I might have something for you.
By the way, by then it'll be a $2 billion
corporation you can't afford to invest.
You want your money now or nothing. This guy
pissed himself? What's his deal? If I've
said on one episode, I've said on 10 episodes.
Everyone forgets we're actually still
in a recession, okay?
I mean, we're not talking about inflation. We're talking
about hyper-stagflation. Do you understand what I'm
saying? Wheelbarrows full. This is Berlin 1937-stagflation. Do you understand what I'm saying? Wheel, barrows, full.
This is Berlin 1937 all over again, people.
Oh, my God.
I was thinking late 36.
I love that.
But early 37 is actually more accurate.
Well, guys, those are all the pitches for this week.
Jake, down in flames.
Amir got real upset.
Compared to Jake's, my idea is a fucking home run.
Dave's the most forward-thinking of the bunch.
I'd say the best idea of the night.
Mine?
Yeah.
I respect that.
I appreciate that.
And I want the whole Twinnovation nation to know
that I am the smartest, most scalable person on this episode.
This is the guy you want to pick up and celebrate?
Yeah, love him.
Would you say Twinnovation is the second nation or a third nation?
It's the only nation.
Jeffy, you had a great idea.
I loved it.
I mean, I think I'm the only sensible person in this crowd.
And I agree because you're the only one with a mind to actually invest in my company.
All right.
Well, we end every episode with a little plug for what we're doing this weekend.
Because you guys already did your show here.
You got nothing else to plug. I'm walking around with a fucking plug for what we're doing this weekend. Because you guys already did your show here. You've got nothing else to plug.
I'm walking around with a fucking chainsaw slicing up holes in mattresses
and making proof of concepts as far as the eye can see.
You'll all be shitting in your beds by Christmas.
Jake's got a couple of bags that he has to take to Phoenix overnight
to make sure they get there on time.
I just run the business, dude.
Partner with Delta.
It's going to be fine.
Well, we're all going to go out tonight.
We're all going to have some fun.
Cool. As long as Jeff doesn't Irish Kibayas. Delta. It's going to be fine. Well, we're all going to go out tonight. We're all going to have some fun. Cool.
As long as Jeff doesn't
Irish Kibayas.
Oh, Jeff's already gone.
Whoa.
All right.
Well, we'll hang out.
We'll have a good weekend.
Yeah, can't wait.
Maybe you guys will get rid
of this weird attitude
because you failed
and you know what happens?
There's so much
there's so much testosterone
in this room.
It was only a matter of time
before shit got like
like a powder keg.
And you know what?
That's shit you can drink.
That's the shit you can drink.
All right.
Well, this is Baby Bear Mike Carnell signing off.
Davey Jeff, say goodbye.
Goodbye.
Our high counsels, Jake and Amir, say goodbye.
Our first ever guest.
Great job, guys.
Thank you for having us.
Honor.
Honor to be part of the team.
Sorry you got chewed up in the tank.
That has to be copyrighted. Sorry you got you got chewed up in the tank. That has to be copyrighted.
Sorry you got a little chewed up in the tank, dude.
The Shark Tank is already another show about inventions.
Yeah, but we can say the tank.
I'm thinking like the bear trap.
Welcome to the trap, dude.
You got caught in a trap.
Smelled a little honey, got a little careless, got caught in the trap.
Yeah, I like honey.
So I'm the bear?
You're the bear. No, you're still the bear, I think. I got, yeah, I like honey. Yeah. So I'm the bear? You're the bear.
Dope.
Yeah, but you're like...
No, you're still the bear, I think.
I got trapped?
I'm the honey.
The trap is Jeff,
and you're the thing
getting caught in the trap.
What did you call your asshole?
A honey hole?
No, I never called it a honey hole.
What did you call it earlier?
I had a lot of different names.
I think it was a honey hole.
It was not a honey hole.
If you heard that,
then you heard me wrong.
All right, we're going to sign off.
Amir's going to go cut a hole into our producer Nick's bed
and take a big piss.
Hey, Nick, do you wake up in the middle of an ATP?
Do you wake up at an hour?
Don't, dude.
It's over.
I'm just saying.
All right, this is Baby Bear telling you to stay scheming.
And stay dreaming. That was a hate gun podcast.