Segments - Bonus: Monkey Butt (2019)

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

In this bonus video episode we discuss Amir's alter ego, Jake's childhood marriage, and why we always get sick on the road. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum original. Hello, if you're listening to this podcast before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star. There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah.

Because you're nervous, you're skittish, you're stuttering right now. right now i'm a little so i don't want you in this ad at all i don't want to be steamrolled but i know i won't be recording one in fact for you asking that i'm going to keep this part in don't this part is now edit this part out but let's do one clean ad no you will edit this part out you will absolutely edit this part out. Tell you what, I'm going to say my fucking social security number. So you have to edit it out. Okay. Let's hear it. 091-3662.

Now you have to edit it out. But we'll see you guys there. No, no, no, no, no. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast. We're here to help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight

to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com,

B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. What is this? A new If I Were You podcast? Well, kind of. These are episodes that were living behind our Patreon for the last five years. And we figured, why not release some of the best ones onto this feed to reward those of you that never gave up, that never unsubscribed. So please enjoy this classic episode of If I Were You, recorded at our old studio in 2018. you if i were you i'll tell you what i would do if only i were you shark.com first question is from i'm really not even an intro you're too cool for everything this what is what's going on what

we're not going to address the fact that you're wearing sunglasses for some oh yeah these are kind of new frames I'm testing out. During our Patreon exclusive videos? During everything I'm going to wear them. They're like kind of... I was here... I've been here all day. You haven't worn them.

Hmm? You've not been wearing them all day. They're not testing them out for everything. You only are wearing them for this video. And I think... Don't try to be cool. I'm not trying to be cool this is sort of like i'm andy now and this is what so this is absolutely it's not fine it's not trying to be

cool you're trying to be andy you're andy andy doesn't try to do this or try to do that like that was an amir thing you're nearing 40 and you feel like now is the time to reinvent yourself? Andy's 32, which is kind of like the perfect age. That's not that young either. Well, I'm still workshopping the age. Andy could be 29. No, he can't. He lives in Glendale.

He has a... So you're trying to assume a new identity. Not a new identity, but like a personality or persona. Not a personality. If you're giving someone a new birthday? Yeah, well, Andy was born Christmas Eve. Okay, so you're having... 1998.

I mean, that makes him super young. I guess it does. That's kind of fun. Andy's 21 years young. Right. And his last name is Young. Oh, it's Andy Young? Andy Young is you now because you're wearing sunglasses.

You still have gray hair. Well, I'll get rid of that. That's an easy switch. What else is bad about me? Or bad about Amir that Andy doesn't have to deal with much anymore? You're insecure. You're sad. You're a sad old man.

You have a bad attitude. Andy grins ear to ear because everything is good for Andy. What's Andy's job? Andy's a journalist, freelance mostly. A 21-year-old freelance journalist from where did you say? Van Nuys or something? He lives in Glendale but he's from fucking

Yeah, careful because you don't want to say something that's not cool. Detroit. That is, that's a good city. But he's a, so he's a 21 year old from Detroit, lives in Glendale i am yeah freelance journalist for the detroit you are andy now i thought you're still workshopping certain aspects of andy including the glasses this is just andy being andy he that all right what does andy look

like without glasses he looks fucking weird he looked like that that beady-eyed little Jew boy from the valley. I'm so sorry that you feel like this about yourself. I don't. Andy feels good for him. Actually, Andy's been tinkering wearing no glasses at all. Oh, Andy! Andy, you're heinous! Well, that was just like a quick little preview of what Andy could or couldn't bring to the table.

Fine. So Andy lives in Glendale, wears sunglasses in a studio. That's cool. Yeah. He does freelance journalism. Not really sure what that entails, but I guess you write stories for random publications and stuff. Vlogs, blogs. Vlogs and blogs.

Clogs. You write about clogs. Does Andy have a roommate or anything? Yeah, Andy has three roommates. That's cool. It's cool to be young and have roommates because you're saving money on rent. I live in a den.

Oh. You'd rather be a 21-year-old that lives in a den in Glendale than you're a successful guy. Who is? Andy? Amir. That's who you are. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess. I guess this is who I am. Doesn't have to be Andy. Doesn't have to be Andy. Doesn't have to be Andy. You're right. Can I see the glasses? The thing is, like, Amir can't throw, but Andy can. All right, Andy, let's see.

But, like, the problem is, to be Andy, I have to be like this. All right, so Andy can toss you shit. You can toss me something. But when I take it off, it's back to being who I actually am. Okay, let's see. You mean the glasses? Let's see if Amir can toss. This is a toss.

That's a toss. Casual. Easy. All right, so tell you what. Put the glasses back on because that was a bad toss. You were totally right. And now, fuck it. Why don't you toss me...

Now I can toss you anything. Yeah, toss me this. Okay. All right? Andy? Andy. Wow. On a dime.

Take the glasses off. Okay. Amir tosses. Amir's worried about hitting the mic. That's how sad that is it's like in the way yeah have you heard himself?

put the glasses on and see if your arm still hurts I'm fine whoa Andy how do we kill Amir? what? how do we kill this guy? I? How do we kill this guy? Right? I feel like you can toss shit without getting,

look at that toss. I'm like, that is carefree. Sublime. And I can catch shit. Well, you missed that toss, but I feel like that must've been,

maybe you were like, you saw it over the glasses. Yeah. How do we get rid of, of Amir? So it's just me and andy well you and amir had a good thing going yeah we did but now it's over and now i just want to be with andy so what can we do maybe if we like i can tattoo sunglasses on my face that's not bad that way i can't ever take

i feel like we really have to like like, Tyler Durden this shit. Like, what? What does that entail? At the end of Fight Club, Ed Norton just shoots himself in the mouth. I'm not going to fucking Andy do that. Even if Andy does it. Like, because it might hurt Andy. No, I think with the sunglasses, nothing can hurt Andy.

I mean, the microphone hurt you. Maybe if Andy jumped off a bridge, I don't think so. Amir would die and Andy would live. Why would Andy do that? Well, who am I talking to right now? Amir or Andy? Now that the lines are starting to blur and you're confusing me. I don't want to jump because I'm afraid of heights.

Let me talk to Andy. What's up? Andy, we've got to do something about this fucking turd. No, I know. I'm not even interested in him. Really? I'm gonna convince him to do this. Punch yourself in the chest, Andy, and see if it hurts you or Amir. I have a theory. Andy.

Yeah. Are you alright? You're good? Let's talk to Amir. Take off the glasses. Andy, take off the glasses Real quick Bitch Amir's like Starting to infiltrate The Jew is strong

In this one Alright Andy's not that funny Unfortunately Really I liked my time I liked my time Andy's not that funny unfortunately really I liked my time I liked my time you can't do anything

your motor skills are non-existent put your glasses in your pocket it shouldn't be that can you open your pocket with your nice

now try to put the glasses in there no one should be this poor at anything. This is precarious. But hilarious. Very nice. Good to have you back, bud. This is If I Were You, the only advice podcast on Patreon hosted by us. I'm Jake.

That's right. I'm Amir. Most of the times, this is a free audio show, but sometimes we'll give you guys bonus video Thursday episodes. Very cool. Content for cash, baby. Ad free. Completely ad free. Right.

Sometimes you do an ad. Nothing to promote. Sometimes you do an ad. Not going to do an ad. You're not going to do an ad this time. Not going to do an ad. Sick. Let's get into it.

First question. I got a name. MeUndies for underwear. That's a sponsor from our regular show. Why would you even? I'm just saying, not even as an ad, but if you want underwear, MeUndies.com. This is absolutely an ad. Slash Amir.

It's what? 20% off your first order is all. MeUndies. Slash Amir. It's what? 20% off your first order is all. From you. Meandys.com slash Amir. Are you selling ads on the side that I'm not getting a piece of? No. Because that's not cool. It's not even an ad. That's an Amir thing, and that's why I like hanging out with Andy.

Andy doesn't sell out because he doesn't have to. He has these sunglasses. Oh, what's happening to your voice? I have a frog in my throat. Quick, Andy. He's happening to your voice? I have a frog in my throat. Quick, Andy. He's choking me from the inside. Andy crawls out. Oh, Jesus, Andy.

All right. This is from a lady who wants advice about her boyfriend. So we'll call her Andrea. Nice. Andy's twin sister who he killed in the womb. That's classic Andy. Hey, Jake and Amir, my name is Andrea, and I was wondering if you could give me and my boyfriend advice about starting a podcast.

We have been talking about wanting to start our own podcast, but we don't even know where to start. We have no clue about what we want to do the podcast about, or if it's even a good idea to do one. If we decide to do one, do you guys have any suggestions about what our show should be about? Also, any good equipment you could recommend? Any advice in general? Another thing is, I'm still friends with my ex-boyfriend, although I wouldn't even consider him a boyfriend because we only dated for two weeks freshman year of high school before he cheated on me. However,

we've been best friends for six years. My boyfriend was not okay with me being friends with him or talking to him. I do get it because I talk to him whenever we argue. It's happening again. What's happening again? But he's been my friend for six years. Am I a bad girlfriend for still talking to him?

Should I stop talking to him? Does my boyfriend have a right to be upset? Let's talk podcasts. Right? You want to assure SM7B and assure your boyfriend that he shouldn't be jealous of thee.

You want a Zoom recorder and to zoom out of that relationship. That's right. You want a good idea of your show before you start. And a good idea about what you want in a mate. A podcast is a lot like a relationship. That's right. You want to have idea and guidance going into it.

Otherwise, the thing falls apart very quickly. So, what should her show be about? How about... It's just fucking animals. And every episode is about a new fucking animal. That's funny. And it's just like, this one will be about a bug. And this one's about llamas.

And another one's about fucking a tadpole or some shit. After that, I can't think of other animals, but there's like... I mean, that's three episodes, right? Oh, did I already say snake? No, you said tadpole, llama, and a bug. Okay. Snake. Four episodes in.

That's a month's worth of content. At that point, you'll know if the podcast is going to be successful or not. And only then do you really have to rack your brain to come up with more animals. But I'm sure there are others. Coming up with the animals is not the hard part. Lamb? That's right. That's five.

If you even just think about stuff that you eat. And what's the podcast about? So we have a bug. You're saying a bug, yeah. We have a bug. But what's the podcast? Hold on a second. We have a bug, llama, tadpole, snake, lamb.

Which is like a baby frog. And then you're thinking of things that you eat. No, you're not. You have chicken, hot dogs. Hot dogs is not an animal. Beef. What's the show going to be? It can be about beef.

Yeah, it can be about beef, but you need a premise. What's the premise? Each episode is you interview a different hog So you want to talk to pigs All animal related content Okay And you could easily come up with Dozens and dozens of animals That's right you could

You couldn't but one could Hot dogs, beef Pig Pork, roast beef You could. You couldn't, but one could. Hot dogs? Not beef. Yeah. Pig. Okay. Pork. Roast beef. You're just preparing food differently now. A fucking cat. That's the show.

That's the show. In each episode, you interview a different animal about what their life is. It's not rocket science, Blumenfeld. It's a lot worse than rocket science. an animal about what their life is. It's not rocket science, Blumenfeld. It's a lot worse than rocket science. Rocket science is useful and interesting. You're talking about yelling at a pig. You could even do different snakes.

Like, if you've run out of animalized ideas, but you already interviewed a snake, there's other types. Because you have a cobra, and a garden snake, and a rattlesnake. Yeah. There's other serpents. I'm certain of it. I'll say don't start a podcast without an idea. It sounds like you have no real genre that you're passionate about. If you want to do animals, you really can use that one.

And I also wouldn't start a podcast with somebody that you're going to break up with because this relationship feels like it's – wait, she wants to start a podcast with somebody that you're going to break up with because this relationship feels like it's – wait. She wants to start a podcast with her boyfriend, right? Yeah. Who is mad at her because she's friends with – A guy. A guy that she dated for two weeks freshman year. Yeah.

That doesn't count as an ex. I don't think people you just like dated pre-sophomore year count as an an ex pre-10th grade for two weeks definitely right there's like the age and the amount of time before that person you're the math guy but it feels like there's some sort of like formula where like algorithm and the amount of time makes it more okay and the age makes it more okay so freshman year two weeks is like way down here right like the chart okay and then like oh my college boyfriend that I dated for three years like that's pretty high up I see but like kindergarten girlfriend that I dated during playtime okay super low so here's the algorithm ready it's your age times the amount of weeks you were together.

If it's under 100, that number, then that's a fake relationship. Interesting. I like that, I think. I'd have to really sit with the TI-83 to fully delve in. Give me an age and a relationship duration.

My senior year of high school, I had a girlfriend for two years. Okay, that's legit because it's 18 times 100 weeks. That's legit. That's legit. Yeah, but if it was a freshman year relationship for three months, then you're 15 times 12. Okay, what if that's my seventh grade relationship that I was with for 2 years? Your what?

I was in a relationship in 7th grade for 2 years. 7th grade, 13, for 2 years. That's long. Yeah. Yeah, that's 100 weeks again. I don't think your formula is perfect because 2 years when you're 7 or when you're 13 doesn't matter. Oh, I see. So you're saying your age should be a bigger factor. I think so.

Because 13. So what's the bars? What if I was six but I was with somebody for five years? You were 11 by the time it ended. That's serious then, right? Did you have a fucking girlfriend of five years? I was engaged as a first grader.

That can't be bonding. That couldn't have been binding. I got a ring. You were six? Yeah. You engaged? I wasn't six when I got engaged. I was six when we started dating.

I was eight and a half when I asked her to be with me. And she said yes? Yes. And when did you get married? We called it off because we were too young. We didn't have our wits about us. Yeah. When we were nine, we were like, this is insane.

We have to date other people. Yeah. In second grade, you decided to see other people. In second grade, we were just like, we need to experience life on our own as fucking, like, you're going to camp this summer. Right. And, like, you're eight and a half. This is insane. Right.

You're a third grader at eight. You're a fourth grader at nine. You want to see the world. I want to see the world. As a fourth grader. As a fourth grader. As a fourth grader. Okay, so fifth grade rolls around. Can't be turned down.

Fifth grade rolls around, you're like, hey. You're just dating around. Yeah. Fifth grade, I did a lot of soul searching. I got my shit right. I got my shit together. Yeah. So what happens in sixth grade?

You feel like you're ready to settle down because you're 11. I felt like I had done enough independently that I was ready to meet Mrs. Wright. But then I got braces and I realized that I could jack off. And I was like, never mind. My life's going to be this now. And that was from age 11 until now. Until 34. So you're like, I need to settle down.

I can jerk off. And now that's 23 years. Yeah. And now you're married for real, though. Exactly right. And I finally stopped fapping. I'm sorry to hear that, by the way. All of that.

Not just the fapping part. Not totally. Yeah, that makes sense. The whole life story was really sad. I have five other animals for the podcast. Let's hear two before we go. Giraffe. Yep.

Fucking small giraffe. You didn't have two, so you definitely didn't have five. You can have two different giraffes. No one's going to complain. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like.

Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI.

You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available.

Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when like you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right.

Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah, which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com.

Oh, vision lifters. Yeah. Vision lifters with a Z and not where you think. And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking to buy a domain name

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for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code SEGMENTS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to Squarespace.com slash segments. You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code SEGMENTS when you're ready to launch that free trial.

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Take this survey, and we will read the results. It's G-U-M dot F-M slash S-E-G-M-E-N-T-S. Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. Thank you to DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o, DraftKings. The NFL is back.

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Yeah, I was going to say, gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER and help is available for problem gambling. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org in Connecticut. Must be 18 plus. Age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdictions. Pick six is not available everywhere, including New York and Ontario. Void where prohibited. One per new customer.

Non-withdrawable pick six credits expire in six months. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash. Right. Promos. There it is. pick six dot draftkings.com slash right promos there it is thanks draftkings speaking of animals we got a 22 year old girl in new york city who has an issue called monkey butt is it real that's a real medical issue that's right we'll call her coco okay here's my problem i'm a 22 yearold girl in NYC and I have monkey butt. Is that like her ass is red? Let me explain. Okay. About a

week ago, I noticed that there were some red spots on my ass. Not my cheeks, but the under butt and crevice. I promptly dismissed them as minor irritation due to wearing too tight of skinny jeans. Jake knows what I mean. But as time passed, the spots

have become what I can only be described as big-ass blisters. It seems like some sort of friction has caused the area around my butt crack to woo-ha to blister painfully. First, I tried to shield the blisters with

band-aids, which was not successful, and that brings me to the second, potentially larger situation, which is that I've been seeing this super hot boy recently, and we've been having incredible sex, and he's very fit so he can toss me around for a long time. I slept over at his place whilst my behind was covered in band-aids. Oh my god. Due to the blister situation.

And by sheer power of will, I kept him from discovering my painful secret. My questions are these. What should I do about the monkey butt? What do you think could have caused the monkey butt? And how can I hide this, hide it from this guy that I'm seeing? Oh, wow.

You know, um, I think you have to go to a doctor. No, I can figure it out. What are you talking about? You need benzoic cream, which is a prescription. I can write this prescription because there's, like, websites online that fills it out. There's no need to have, like, you.

Send me your date of birth, pharmacy, and I'll give you an Rx number. Why don't you think she should just go to a doctor? Because I got it. You have other shit to do. You have to make these videos. You have to run head gum. You have to do shit. It's an antibiotic ointment,

basically. Fine. And that'll clear it up. It sounds like... I don't know why you need to be a quack in addition to a comedian. It just sounds like

a bacterial thing. But you don't have to have multiple jobs, is all I'm saying. I'm an amateur dermatologist. You're like a black market quack. And if that doesn't clear it up, you're a pseudoscientist. Let me know and I'll

write you a prescription. It's illegal. You're a drug peddler. She has anal acne. You should have anal acne. I can write you a prescription for an Accutane suppository. I want you to shove Accutane up your ass. Anal Accutane.

And that'll clear you right up. You're going to lance the blisters yourself? I can lance a blister. You're going to study them? You're going to amputate them and take them back to your lab? No, I... You have time for this? I lance one into a Petri dish.

We'll take a look under a microscope. Who's we? Me and a cousin of mine who likes to do shit like this. We'll just a look under a microscope. Who's we? Me and a cousin of mine who likes to do shit like this. We'll just leave it at that. Who's your cousin? Save. Save? Save Blumenthal.

So his last name is adjacent to yours? Because it's through marriage. So they just have a similar last name? Yeah, my dad's sister married Ron Blumenthal, and then they had a kid, Chase and Save. They had Chase and Save, and Save is the one that... Chase, I haven't seen in forever.

Save is the one who likes to... What do you mean forever? Like it's been a long time? No, like 30 years ago, he just sort of walked away from us. And then Save likes to do little amateur dermatology experiments and shit. I wonder if Chase was a victim of one of Save's experiments. Yeah, I never thought of it that way. Really?

There's a chance. There's a chance. Because he had to zit once, and I haven't seen him since. All right, and you're going to recommend... Retin-A. ...that Coco goes and sees your cousin Save to Lance a boil on her ass and maybe disappear. Yeah. I think what you want is not an ointment.

It's not a cream. What you want is a powder. A salve. You want a gold bonds. You want to dry it out. You want to dry the area out. And I think you maybe don't want to have sex for a little bit. There's not a point.

You should just get well. Sex is an activity that will make your butt crack sweaty. You want to keep that area dry as possible. What's the furthest you got in acne medicine? Like what was your routine at its worst? I don't, I mean, at its worst, I guess I, it was all just like over-the-counter stuff. I would wash my face with Neutrogena or something. Yeah, like the orange one.

The orange one. And then I would use like one of those. Oxypads. An Oxypad. And then I also had this weird little roller that I think was just like spot treatment but it was like it kind of looked like a tube of airborne and it had like a pin cushion type pad on it

and you'd press it and this rancid smelling alcohol would come out so you were a drying man I was trying to dry everything out and I would have I would just like smear that shit on my i was i was covering it i was going i was it was excessive it would smell

probably awful absolutely awful but yeah it was did you pop were you a popper yeah i never liked a white head i would much rather have just like have it um bloody and scar yeah the opposite but i was always like i it wasn't ever like a i guess like the most ever was like four or five zits at a time but it would be like a big one on my nose and a big one on my forehead right it was never like a rash or an acne that right never had like the full the full acne you had that right i had like one step below that so like i was never given accutane but i was given like prescription like dry your ass out. Make your skin red medicine. And did it help? It made my skin really dry

and red which felt like a lateral move. Like instead of greasy and yellow it was dry and red. Were you a popper? I was a popper. I remember I had like something that was so bad on my nose that I think it was like a cyst. It was not it wasn wasn't a zit it was like so thick that I eventually took a like a

a needle like uh that seems to be like a recurring thing like I've seen you do that even after we met or you take a safety pin not safety pin, but like a zit on your nose that you have to deal with. Yeah. Like that happens to me sometimes. But like now it hasn't not really been like. It happens less and less. Yeah. The cyst thing doesn't happen anymore. That was like the worst thing.

It truly looked like my nose grew a second nose. But yeah, I do. I like the biggest fear of getting a big zit on my nose. And sometimes, like, my stress about it, I think, makes me have one. I was petrified leading up to my wedding that I was going to get it. What would you do? Makeup. Probably makeup.

Yeah. I would have just done makeup. Wedding is big enough that I would just do makeup. Sometimes I'll get, like, stressed about it before we, like, go on tour. I'm like, I don't want to deal with that. It's like, would you rather have that or a cold? Oh, man. That. I hate having it. I feel so sorry for myself when I have a cold.

It feels like we constantly have, one of us has a cold on tour. Yeah. Yeah, always. Like sleeping before or after the show, not feeling well. Yep. I don't know why that happens to us, but we always get sick on the road. It's probably because we travel, don't sleep, drink poison, and don't take care of our bodies or eat well. And shake a lot of pants.

Yeah. We meet a lot of people. Everything that you can do to get sick is what we do, and then we get sick. Yeah. Which is too bad. So we touch a lot of people, travel, sleep less, drink alcohol, and eat poorly. Yeah, that's definitely, that sounds about right. What a good way to see Amsterdam.

It's always like the first two days, you're like, I think I could beat it. I think it's just allergies. And then the sneezing comes and you're like, yeah, it's over. It's too late. Cut to us sitting in a hotel room in Manchester because we're like, I wish I could see the city, but no, I'm too tired.

All right, that's it. Only two questions, but you know what? 30 minutes of content is 30 minutes of content. Yeah. Have you ever heard of a medicine called Zyrtec? Yeah, I think that's for allergies. Right.

It's not Zyrtec. It's not. It's some other medicinetec. Yeah, I think that's for allergies. Right. It's not Zyrtec. It's not. It's some other medicine that begins with a Z. Zyrtec. Yeah, no. It's like a powder that starts with a Z that I really think this girl should get for her ass. I guess going to Z-Pak? No, that's the antibiotic.

That's it. It's my dermatologist. I'm super late to an appointment. I guess she should actually talk to, consult a real... Fine, but say her goodbyes and I'll tell you. Okay.

Thank you so much for watching. As always, we'll be back next week. Appreciate your patronage, and you can listen to this show every Monday at HeadGum.com, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. I'm not gonna fucking find it. There's too many medicines. I searched Powder Z.

And now I think I'm watching a movie. Alright, in the next episode, maybe we'll start it with what this powder is that you think starts with the letter Z. Yeah. Bye, everybody. Later. If I were you If I were you If I were you I'll tell you what I would do

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