Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - James Austin Johnson

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

James Austin Johnson (SNL) joins David to talk about Jesus, disgusting smells, and more. Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: James Austin JohnsonSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Chris OsbornExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. You have your choice. Would you like the red chair or the red chair? Okay. Yeah? I feel like that's... I feel like you're the stuff wall. Yeah, it's... No?

No. Am I the stuff wall? So that you can see your book? And be reminded of it? And be reminded of... I'll sit wherever. I don't... I just allow...

Sure. Here, you have a beverage. And that table's closer. Okay. Let's do that. Let's do it that way. Let's do it. All right, thank you for coming in.

Thank you for having me. This is incredible for me. To Buzz. Okay. One more. Oh, take the take the box. Take the whole box. Well look I've I'm getting over a cold that has been around lingering for a long time so you will not be the first to either sneeze or cough or blow your nose during this. Oops. Do you put these on? No. OK, good.

I mean, you can if you'd like. Oh, I don't need to. If it's a fashion thing. You know, it's a fashion thing. Yeah. Oh, my God. How long you been in Fort Greene? Let's see we moved there At the start of my second season because We were living near Juilliard over in like Lincoln Square area like 66th on Riverside too many theater kids. It's annoying the kids I mean it looked it looked like a cool place to be like in middle school high school age. Sure.

LaGuardia was over there and there's like another... School of the Arts for the Magnet School over there. And it seems like a seems like a decent area, but we were just the only couple under 75. Yeah. And everyone was a billionaire. And like, you know, the 100 percent nothing against surrogacy in any way. I think life is beautiful. But right on my, my, uh, my, my wife and her friend were in a park and, um, her friend was pregnant, you know, they're women in their thirties and a woman

said, who are you carrying for? And I was like, Oh, we're just not in the economic class to be in this neighborhood that the immediate assumption is a healthy young woman is that's like a baby for it's like a bad, unfunny, but kind of spot on New Yorker cartoon. It is a New Yorker cartoon. Wow. And you don't want to be in one of those. Turns out you don't want to be in one of those. Who are you caring for? That's crazy. Yeah, that's like what What a weird, weird.

I don't think it's, I mean, it's not weird for that neighborhood. We were the weird people, right? It's kind of like when. Sure, for the neighborhood, but that neighborhood is weird for the rest of humanity. Coming from. Globally, it's weird.

Coming from Tennessee, that's like an incredibly weird. You from Tennessee? I'm from Nashville, Tennessee. Oh, right on. And you're from Georgia, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah I was just in in Nashville and I I don't know a couple months ago probably but I

Have to go to Nashville off and on for decades and and I said listen as somebody who grew up in Atlanta, heed my words, there is a point where you get too big, stop building. You're losing your soul, you're losing your character. I feel that way about Nashville, it's gotten too big and it's lost something. I feel that way about Austin, I feel that way about Atlanta. It's just Austin. Austin obliterated. It's weird.

Yeah, I mean, Boston weird thing. It that that was a thing people were saying in the late 90s, right? They were like worried about Austin losing its. I think that even before that. But yeah. Oh, Austin. Yeah, yeah, I know.

Fully gone. Well, Nashville is I think has reached the tipping point. It's not fun But I will say that like it seems like everybody that's moving to Nashville is moving to Franklin and so mm-hmm it's it's sort of like It's gonna reach a point where sort of like LA where like LA LA is coming to spread I think so where it's like people are friends who just moved to Franklin. Oh, yeah early recently

Yeah, I mean, that's like the Orange County of Nashville. It's like nobody's actually moving to the cool part. Everybody is helping build this fortress city this it's like it's like and it's got those Kind of mixed-use things that I fucking hate like the Gulch, you know, and it's all these kind of mixed use things that I fucking hate, like the Gulch, you know? And it's all these kind of like corporate chain, restauranty. Live and work and play and booze and electric scooter. And Atlanta has a bunch of that.

And it's just, and Nashville is, you know, now has a couple of those. And it's just like, it's just weird. It's just like, it's sort of like Dumbo is here a little bit. Like everything in there is air quote cool, but it's all a corporate thing, like blue bottle coffee. You know, on the surface you're like, oh cool, a new, it's a chain with a bunch of things

and it's not that cool. It's not that cool. And it's unique or interesting. It's really expensive. Very expensive. But you can get coffee in the style of It's not that cool and it's unique or interesting. It's really expensive very expensive, but you can get coffee in the style of Probably what you could get for like 79 cents from somebody's aunt in New Orleans, right? That's what they're that's what they have Chipotle fide right into an $11 coffee. I don't know

Yeah, the the whole it's all steel stainless steel everywhere steel everywhere. That even, to be at the point where Chipotle used to look like its own restaurant, and now it just, they've all contorted, McDonald's, they've all contorted into the same, like dark brown leather, stainless steel, like unwelcoming corporate lobby environment. Like the whole time you're waiting for an elevator. Right, you're expecting somebody to ask if they can

help you with your luggage. Yeah, exactly. Can I get? This is a, you're on a non-smoking floor. All right, okay, cool. Oh man, yeah, you watching Severance, man? You watch that show? Oh, fuck yeah, I love it.

Love it, love it, love it. Incredibly relatable show when we're talking about these kinds of like spaces where it's like how we just remove All of the like human personality from any common space. Are you know, I'm not caught up I think I've watched the first three episodes of season two. Okay. Yeah Yeah, so what are there four now or five? I can't keep I don't fucking know. I can't keep, I can't follow the story, but I'm loving it. Oh God. It's great.

It's great. I don't remember anything that happened, but I'm having a great time watching. I went out of my way to, and I did, there was something I was going to do, but I. That, that on paper was better, but I, I didn't do it so that I could go to the couple days early to a screening of the first episode of season two. Oh yeah, I went to one of those. I went to that.

Were you at the one with the, I was there, yeah. Did we miss each other there? I guess so. It was a tiny, tiny room. I was in a corner. Down in Tribeca somewhere, right? Down in Tribeca.

Yeah, okay, yeah, I was there. I was there with my wife, because we were so psyched. I say yes anytime someone invites me to anything. Oh, I feel so flattered and I try to go. You shouldn't. I know. It, it, I know.

You'll, you know, you'll learn fairly quickly like, oh, this isn't. I so desperately want to be cool that I say yes to but that doesn't absolutely everything. How does that make you cool? That's that someone invited me but someone is like it's an email server that from a publicist I know but I'm in this but it's you well, I have a three-year-old and like oh wow, you know Just the one just one three-year-old and I have a three-year-old and like oh wow you know just the one just one three-year-old and So you want to get out of the house? I want to get out of the house a little bit and I'm also on Saturday Night Live, and that is what?

I I No time you I have no time other than the time I spend Every all of my comedy time mm-hmm goes to the show sure spend. All of my comedy time goes to the show. Sure. And then all of my rest of my time goes to sleeping and trying to put my personal imprint on my son in some way.

Oh, three is, so it's about to get fun. You put in a lot of work. And it's been pretty fun. The fun is gonna start. I mean, the- My wife is putting in the lion's share of the work. I mean, she is like, I'm working and she's at home. Yeah. And so this is this is what we're doing right now, because we we got pregnant like

mere months before all this show business started happening in my life. So like we went Tennessee at the time? We were in LA for 10 years. What part of LA? Mostly Highland Park. Oh, I love Highland Park. I love Highland Park. Yeah, I like that.

We had such a great time in Highland Park. And Highland Park kind of felt like the. Don't say it. Do not say it. Felt like the fun part of living in Nashville in my 20s. OK. Highland Park, I associated kind of with the cool part of Nashville.

Right. It's like East Nashville. I got you. Yeah. You hang out in East Nashville when the. I go to Dino's. Yeah, Dino's. I fucking love Dino's.

And Dino's, that was one of those things that got corporatized a little bit, but they kept it mostly the same. I feel like it's. I only know it as like in the last couple of years. I mean, but they kept it mostly the same. I feel like it's- I only know it as like in the last couple of years. I mean, the food is amazing and all that stuff. It's not just the food, it's like the whole vibe and energy is pretty cool.

The fact that you can go to this dive bar, that's a legit dive bar, with kind of everybody from the arts community or whatever, With kind of you know everybody from the arts community or whatever. Yeah, and they just so happen to have a Great cheeseburger grill. They have a great like nasty grill Yeah, like and like where you can taste the grill on anything that you're eating you can taste the That's the nastiness in a good way. Yeah that anyway, so like we lived in Lived mostly in Highland Park. I lived in East Hollywood for a couple of years, like Vermont and Santa Monica.

That was, that was a beautiful journey. You know, got to know the girls on the street a little bit. Yeah. You always see some guy just fully bleeding. Yeah. I would always see some guy just like in a dress and scrub. That's the East Hollywood Promise. And a sombrero just like sliced up Yeah, fresh from some sort of Indiana Jones-esque escape. Mm-hmm. You know from a rolling boulder Yeah He's the mayor

David man, I Winchell's donutsight, Winchell's, Donuts. When a Winchell's loses its franchise due to quality and becomes a Michelle's where they have to just flip the W over. That's a beautiful thing. It's smart. Y'all couldn't stay a Winchell's. Yeah. There's, I don't know if you noticed this, and I have meaning to bring this up,

but this building that we're in currently at this moment in time has an F rating. I saw that coming. Yeah, you saw that, big old F. And I don't think I've seen an F ever on something that wasn't boarded up, or had police tape across it. And the I want to say the efficiency rating was a 28.

Is that correct, Chris? I've never I've never noticed this. It's on the fucking window when you walk in by the door. There's a big F. It's an alarming. You can't miss it. That's an alarming letter. F.

That's not what you want to see. There's a big F. It's an alarming, that's an alarming letter. F. That's not what you want to see. How poorly designed do you have to, it's. Yeah. I mean, you have windows, I've seen windows, so that's not it. There's a roof. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. The plumbing isn't dripping or anything. What is it about that we can't see, can't experience that gives this building an F for failure? I wonder if it's like, if there was one modernization that they did to this building that this building just gave up. You know what it is?

It's the microwave. It's the microwave. It fucked everything up. I think it could be, or all this fucking neon everywhere, these headgum signs everywhere. I mean, cool it with the microwave. It's the microwave. It fucked everything up. It fucked everything up. I think it could be. Or all this fucking neon everywhere. These headgum signs everywhere. I mean, cool.

It's headgum, isn't it? With the branding. It's this office. It's the headgum studios. It's these people. It's these people. You know, it's like if you try to teach, like trying to teach a grandparent how to send an email.

It's just going to like, you don't want to kill them. Right. Like you might kill them. Baby steps. Baby steps. Yeah, I don't know. We, what was I saying earlier? I think I was saying- East Hollywood, guy bleeding.

Guy bleeding. Well, I was saying all that just to say- And he's the mayor. Just to say. It's about inflection. Yeah, of course. Yeah, this all happened really rapidly and my wife was just sort of like, I think we were gonna be equal parents in LA

because I was gonna go to two commercial auditions a week. And what's your wife do? You did. She was in school to be a counselor. She's like putting a pause in school just to be a mom and she might return to the psych world at some point. But yeah, she's not like in the business, not an entertainer, not a writer.

But understands the lifestyle. I think I shouldn't say life, you know, understands the rigors, the demands of the. I have, I've just forced that upon her. I think she's just, we were like each other's first relationship. Like when we were like 21 and then broke up for years and then got back together after growing up a little bit. And so I think that's kind of sounds like it's potentially a sweet story.

It's a very sweet story. It is. Can you see my face? Yep. I can see your face better now. Yeah, I moved my this is the first time I just shaved while we were doing this. Oh, really? Yeah. It doesn the first time I've ever. I just shaved while we were doing this. Oh really? Yeah. It doesn't look it.

Well, I shaved. You shaved this part. Yes. I went bald. You looked like Gavin Newsom. You had the flowing. I did, yeah. I've never met you before.

This is very exciting to meet you on this podcast. You know what? I'm glad you said that because I can't tell you how many times, including a really embarrassing one, where I've said to somebody during the podcast, I mean, I'm talking at least 10 times, they're like, well, this is great,

I'm excited to meet you, and they're like, oh, we actually met at a, whatever. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, we talked for a little bit. Ah, I'm sorry. And then I had James A. Castor on 45 minutes into the podcast and I said something to the effect of like, it's cool to meet you and that and I was like, well, we've met before. I was like, oh, okay, when? He's like, you did my podcast.

Brother. Then I remembered instantly when he was like, the two British guys came over and talked about food. I was like, oh yeah, I remember that. What if I told you right now that I am James A. Castor doing an American accent and wearing silly glasses? I'd say that's spot on, man. You nailed it. Well, thank you.

Yeah. He doesn't have a deep. Right, thank you. Well, thank you, sir. He doesn't have a deep sonorous voice, right? No, he does not. No, he doesn't. Oh my God.

He did a really cool, Honor his voice, right? No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. No. Oh my God. Ugh. He did a really cool, he did a, I know it's a, I think it's on Netflix, I'm not sure. He did a special where, and he's not this kind of comic at all, but he did a special where he said, it's okay to heckle. And he's not necessarily encouraging it, but you can heckle and I'm just gonna address it.

It's not like, what do you call it? Crowd work, it's not like these Tik Tok-y things. It's just literally he is trying to get through his set. And he said that's what would happen in the UK. He would tour and people, and you know, have you been to the UK or don't stay? I did a little tour a couple summers ago where I got my first taste of performing in the UK.

Yeah, so you- And I must have had just really sweet people because I didn't have to deal with a whole lot of- Sometimes you don't. And I would say with UK audiences, the highs are higher and the lows are lower. You know what I mean? Like if people don't like you, they really let you know. Like if if people don't like you they really let you know yeah, and if people like you they really let you know

So for the most part I mean 90% I've had great experiences over there, but I've also had terrible ones and Yeah, do you go regularly? Do you go fairly often? I mean when I tour yeah, I'll be there in April. I'm By was touring for a while, stopped down for a little bit. And then I'm doing this show on Broadway right now. And then I go to Canada, do a bunch of dates in Canada. And then I have like a week off and then I do Europe for a month. That's gonna be fun. It will be it's it's

I'm so used to the shitty Traveling part. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like here in the States. It's it's not a job, right? I think yeah once once I sort of had a little bit of like a burst of Recognit name recognition or something and I started getting offers for like headlines which had never happened in my 15 years of doing comedy. I was really surprised very quickly to learn that like, oh, being a comedian is just the traveling. It's the show. Anthony Jeselnik has a great line about, he goes, uh, I consider you, you're paying me to travel.

I do this. It's fun. I love it, but you're paying me for the shitty travel thing. And I, I get that. I mean, it's. Yeah. I can be brutal. The, the, the traveling aspect of it, but in you, you have the same kind of thing

in Europe, but it's like, Oh, I'm going from Brussels to Cone. Yeah. To Cologne to Amsterdam, or whatever. And it's like, it makes it more, it would be the same thing as going, I have to go from Bozeman, Montana to Missoula to Fargo to, you know, Dunkirk or whatever. I hope weird like European, like math rock bands

or whatever. I hope like weird musicians who come and tour in America who've never been are having a fun time crossing Idaho. I hope it's interesting. I imagine. We stopped at Love's. Have you been to Love's Cafe? They have a laser pointer there. and we also bought a Bluetooth gloves

I tried it do pickle chips Delicious Pringle did you have a delicious Pringle I Did when I was a kid yeah, but so fun it is fun I guess it's been your first time and you're here in this country. Yes. Oh, I love it. It's so dirty and Christian. It is dirty and Christian. Yeah. So dirty and Christian. Really. And people are so nice and fit.

I wouldn't say fit. Where are they fit? Not a fat. Oh, fat. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you said fit. No, they're fat. So fat. So fat. Yeah, we have a we're a very fat country. Yeah. Sir, have you been on your travels been to Buc-ee's? Ah Buc-ee's. That is the squirrel Beaver the Christian squirrel who has all the nuts. It's a it's a Christian beaver. But yeah Yes, and you buy a t-shirt that says this bitch runs on Jesus and red wine

shirt that says this bitch runs on Jesus and red wine and Bucky's coffee this bitch runs on the Bible and Jesus I love you I love your white Jesus he's so strong you have to trademark that this bitch runs on Jesus and put it just get get a bunch put them Get like 20 printed up and then just put them on sneak them onto the this bitch runs on Jesus and Gilmore girls reruns Oh It's a game. It's the gay bitch. Oh, I was like the guy Or it's a woman on like, you know, they have yeah things where they're on the back of the motorcycle Yeah, you can read this. Yeah, then the bitch fell the bitch fell off. She's watching Gilmore Girls Yeah, and reading the New Testament this bitch runs on Jesus

I love I love stuff that has that like has makes you think like what wait what ass gas grass? Christ or Gilmore girls nobody writes for free Yeah gas, grass, Christ, or Gilmore, girls. Nobody rides for free. Yeah. I don't, I'm so sorry. I desperately need to get to the clinic, but I can't pay you, I have no money. I have no weed. I don't have any weed.

I'm not gonna whore myself out. I can give you some Bible verses. I have black coffee, and I have a copy of The Purpose Driven Life. That's the environment that I grew up in. I was about to say. Hardcore conservative Christianity, Southeast. And you grew up in something similar to that.

Yeah, very much, Baptist. It was very, my- Did you go to Baptist church or just everyone was Baptist around you? Everyone was Baptist around me. I grew up Jewish and... Raised Jewish religiously, right? Yeah.

And got bar mitzvah and all that shit. But then, you know... I bet that was really interesting in the Southeast. Well, moving on. It was fun. It was... James, I was othered. Yeah It was James, I was othered. Yeah, I bet I was othered.

And also, I looked the part I had like, yeah, wild, Jufro hair. Larry David on Fridays. Kind of. Yeah. But no balding yet. But he did. Yeah, that's right. He had a little bit. But more like just it was like naturally wavy and not not curly, you know what I mean? But just, and we had no money, so I had like big thick glasses with tape around them,

because if they broke, there's no money to get new glasses. So just, I mean, the dork, he had terrible teeth. I had bad teeth too. Do you? Yeah. Yeah, British lineage. They're still huge, but now they're in line. Those aren't bad.

I had the, I had like really janky little kid teeth. Oh, my. It was a lot of fun. It was what I got made fun of for. My dad had terrible, like comically bad teeth. I had a, what do you call it, a bridge. Oh, yeah? And I just got that British DNA DNA so my teeth are just awful and we were on Medicare and.

I do not know this I can't for a fact it was just a gut reaction when I was like I don't know 1011 whenever I got braces and I really. 11, whenever I got braces and I really had a strong sense that my orthodontist was anti-semitic and just did not like me for no reason other than that's the vibe I got as a little kid. You say you learn a new language every year, but few of us actually commit to it. Babble makes it easy for you to learn one in less time than you think. Do you plan your vacation locations based on – you say that three times fast – on the local language? With Babble, language no longer has to be the barrier. This year, speak like a whole new you, with Babble, the language learning app that gets

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Rules and restrictions may apply. Get the Angel Re special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of of course and don't forget the fries in a drink Sound good, but I bought but by participating restaurants for a limited time And I do anything that uh He suggested his bias I mean he had an iron cross tattooed on his cheek. Yeah

No, he was like cracker bolts on his cheek. Yeah. No, he was like this- He had cracker bolts on his forehead. He just, I don't know, he just didn't care for me or my mom. And my mom was like the nicest. And we, as I said, we looked apart and we were in an area of the country back then where there weren't a whole lot of Jewish people. And I don't know. It's a terrible thing to accuse somebody of that might not be the case. It was just the vibe I got. I think you'd know, wouldn't you? I mean, if you're, you would know like bone deep, you'd know.

It was a, yeah, but even when you're young, it's just like, you know, and you're still starting to, you're still processing and starting to figure out that, oh, grownups and authority figures aren't all that I was told they were when I was five, six, seven. You know, like, oh, some of these people are dumb, shitty, mean. You know what I mean? Like, oh, sure. I'm reading my son, the Mr. Rogers, like books, like the books that were

written in like 1989 by Fred Rogers. And so much of the content of it is like, you can talk to any grownup around you because grownups have your best interests at heart. So you can trust the gr- if you're lost in the forest, ask the grownup how to get back to your mom. What are you doing lost in the forest? Running from a pedophile who stole you from a K-Mart. Exactly. And they've got bigger issues. Exactly. Yeah, I don't I don't know. It's it's I this is a thing I've been thinking about lately with all the like

flurry of like Christian nationalists, like legislation coming out. Is how much I was told as a kid that like Christians are being targeted by a campaign of hate. And I'm like, we're literally being told this like, at Chick-fil-A. Not on a Sunday. Like, it wasn't on a Sunday I was being told this, but it's like, okay, we're literally in a Christian themed

chicken restaurant that is highly successful, that is jam packed with people. I don't really feel like I'm one of the last, nation's last Christians. Well, it's such an obvious... Huddling in a basement somewhere as gunshots ring out. And are your parents religious or still religious?

Still, still very religious and I really respect it for my family members. I have had to do so much work to go from abject rejection and bitterness and just full on rejection of where I came from mentally to being a kind adult who like tries to give everybody- Well, that's good. Good for you. The rope to do things the way that they want to do. And I fully respect it for people who get a lot of value out of it. I think it took meeting, I think it probably for me,

for my indie ass, I think it took meeting some like intellectuals that talk about it in a way that doesn't just drive me fucking nuts. So I can see the- Where did you have that turn? Where did that occur? I had some great, I don't know, probably in all my writing workshops and like my literary stuff in like high school college. I think I always knew I wanted to be an actor and

a comedian, but when I got into like the books world and stuff and I started wanting to be a little bit more, wanting to expect more of myself than just being like a person who liked Conan or whatever. Well that's why we got to ban books. There is a legit reason to ban books so that people don't discover for themselves the hypocrisy and impracticality. pursuing comedy as an art form. No, of Christianity. Of Christianity. American Christianity.

Oh man, it's a thing I feel really conflicted about because it is my programming, it's how I understand the world, and to let go of the religious lifestyle that you were raised with is maybe the most impossible thing to try to achieve. I think it's, for me, it's been really difficult to fully remove it at the times that I have tried to fully remove it. So now I'm trying to-

If you're cognizant of all that stuff, then perhaps you don't have to fully remove it because you're able to go to compartmentalize it as it were. This is this part of me. This is why I think this way. I mean, take the negative connotation away from indoctrination and just it is what it is. That's why I think these things. meditation away from indoctrination and just it is what it is. That's why I think these things. I can tell you that most of my family think the way they do because that's how they were brought up.

Yeah. And those are the things they were taught to believe. And you know when there's good morality, good ethics involved, great. But sometimes there isn't. Well you just see, sometimes you see it in others and maybe that's the part that bugs me the most is that it's like, oh man, I have tried to leave this and tried to organize my goals and my morality in a kind of different way from what I was raised. But then you see a family member who's a super Christian or something and you realize that both of your boats

are pointed in the same direction. You're like, well, I can't be mad at you because we're both just trying to be good fathers and good like workers, the best way we know how, what does it really matter to get in some sort of doctrinal spat, some kind of like theological like that. That's just, I think going to like a Christian university where I started learning all of the like nitty gritty

of the theology of the... You went to a Christian university? I did. Wow. Yes, Treveka Nazarene University. And learning... Say it again? Treveka Nazarene University. And what is Treveka? Treveka, I think... Is that a place?

It's a Welsh word. I think it was like the name of some Welsh theologians. Oh, wow. Like a state or something like that. But so I went there, my whole family went there. My grandpa was president of it in the seventies. It's like, it's like a, it's the story of my family is that college. And so I think when I went there and I actually kind of learned what the theology was behind all the stuff I've been taught all my life that both gave me a lot more respect for it and also made me realize like what of it I

didn't want to engage with anymore. Well, I'm going to suggest a book that you may or may not be aware of, written by a theologian who got all the way up to the point, and I believe he was, like he graduated with honors and was on his way, you know, through a monastery and from what he learned in his research, the research that they gave him to do, he over time did a complete 180. And he has several books and the one I'm gonna recommend is Missquoting Jesus. Yeah.

Do you know it? No. But he's a doctor of theology. His name is... Chris, would you look this up? Bart Elman, I believe. I want to get this right, because it's a fucking great fascinating book. And it's a little bit of his story, you know? But mostly it's... There's some album reviews. Yeah. He's a... Life hacks. there's 40 life hacks in there. Yeah, there's life hacks. Bart Ehrman.

Ehrman, Bart Ehrman, misquoting Jesus. Okay. And it's just the history of the Bible, which is... Yeah. If you just know that, you're like, you would completely question literally everything. Well, the questioning is the good thing, and it's the step of enrichment of your faith that a lot of people skip. It's like, I feel like a lot of the- Hence the word faith. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you need to have a critical eye on it, and you also just need to like, meaningfully engage with it, I think.

Like, this is sort of what I talk about, having respect for it. Like, I definitely had my youthful bitterness toward it because of the constraints it put on my artistic goals for myself. But does it anger you that other potentially creative, wonderful lives were either completely quashed or people commit suicide because of those values that other people have. Yeah, I mean, if it wasn't that religion, it'd be something else.

It'd be overwork or it'd be- Oh, I disagree. You think so? I highly disagree. Really? I think, you think that the people that committed suicide over generations, you know, let's say, I don't know, let's say over the last 500 years, and forget the people who were slaughtered because of their non-beliefs, because we're

not talking about that. We're talking about the constrictions that, and not just Christianity, you know, Islam and Judaism and any cults or whatever, that they restrict these things and people either because of shame or because they didn't feel like or they were ostracized or they didn't feel like they were a good enough person or even that they were evil and killed themselves. I don't think those people would have killed themselves because work was hard. I don't think that it's a predisposition to killing yourself.

It's just that it took religion to do that. You think religion is uniquely positioned to torment people's inner lives in a way that nothing else. I know it, not that I think it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that's the case. There's a lot of cases, right, to measure it against. But I mean, there is like,

there's like the suicide forest in Japan, where like people who, you know, they have such a culture of overwork that people just walk into the forest and die, you know. People just die on the job out there. Okay, so let's remove Japanese people from this. Maybe I'm talking, sure. Oh, I was just trying to give an example of like,

I know, I understand there are other reasons people kill themselves. Maybe capitalism is also like, that's a, you could look at that as a pseudo religious system that destroys lives, you know. Absolutely. I mean, I've always been, as a pseudo-religious system that destroys lives. Absolutely. I mean, I've always been,

I just, I scratch my head at it. It's just a crazy thing to me. Perhaps it's because I grew up poor. I know how to be poor, but the idea that during the Great Depression and in the recession, I remember this happening, you know, reading a number of news stories of people lost everything and they killed themselves.

Yeah. And like, what a crazy, awful reason. Yeah. Like to kill yourself because you're not rich anymore. Yeah. Is a strange, sad. Well shatters the world, right? Well, okay, but move on.

You know, like, figure, find the joy in the. Okay. So I think what you're saying is that there is a, that existing outside of religious system gives you a richer sort of framework of self-improvement and self-enrichment than trying to access some religions. I wouldn't say self-improvement. I mean, it's potentially good, but I think that religion, all religion actually, the ones that I know of, can offer self-improvement. But there are rules There are rules that can restrict people in horrible crippling ways. I think you can have self-improvement through religion, sure. Yeah, I know it really works for a lot of people.

I mean, there's the, I think the age group that I'm in in comedy, I know people who are either starting families or doing 12-step programs, or both. And how old are you? 35. Okay, so young, you're still young. I mean, it doesn't feel young. I had a kidney stone last year. That felt like innocence lost in a big way.

Like, okay, so now just shit stops working. Man, I've heard awful things about that. It was miserable. Oh, God. It was miserable. I had to cancel a live reading of Attack of the Clones. Oh, that sounds like the worst thing. That was the worst. That was the worst.

Are you a sci-fi nerd? I like Star Wars in a fun way, not in a I'm a Nazi way. Right, the Patton Oswalt way. In the Patton Oswalt way. Was Patton Oswald tweeting terrible things that Kelly Marie Tran and Ryan Johnson and everybody made the last Jedi?

Was he leading that brigade? No, I'm not on Twitter. Star Wars is for the Nazis now. That has the worst fan fandom, at least of the. But Patton makes fun of that. I mean, Patton makes. He's of it, but he also is, you know.

Man, it's makes, you know, he's he's of it, but he also is, you know Man, it's I I don't know to I I guess i'm a little bit nerdy, but I just kind of i'm I get really passionate about stuff For like a 10 year span and that might seem like to to to graduate to something else I think right now i'm in a well, that's healthy at least least. I think so. I mean, I'll always like Star Wars. I just like goofy aliens that say- Did you, were you into the Battle Star Galactica reboot? No. What?

Didn't really get into that. Get the fuck out of here. I'm serious. It just missed me. Get out, get the fuck out of here. All right, see you man. Nice to meet you. Chris, what the, you gotta screen these guests better.

This room's too small. This room's too small. This room's too small to do a bit where I exit. There's nowhere to go. It just missed me. I think I tried to watch it in college maybe. Oh, it was great. Couldn't. I loved it. Couldn't hook in. But there's like a sexy lady, sexy lady robot, that's part of it. That's very important to the modern sci-fi canon, yes. There's gotta have a sexy lady in there.

Sexy lady, robot. I really liked the, I actually really liked the Disney Star Wars evolution a lot. I don't know, I saw the first three, I saw Star Wars and then Empire Strikes Back, loved both of them. Yes. What's the last one? Return of the Jedi.

Oh, Return of the Jedi. Wasn't that into that. With the little guys. The Furbils. The Furbils were in there. They're called the Weeboks. Yup, yup. It wasn't that into that one.

And then I haven't seen anything. And then you didn't see the prequels with Liam Neeson. No, no, no. Guy who looks like the devil and Liam McGregor. Who's the guy who looks like the devil? Darth Maul? Hello? Oh yes, I know. Shout out Darth Maul. Figurines, I'm aware of the figurines. I mean, religion really did a number on Darth Maul. That guy. These Sith. He could have been awesome. These Sith. I mean, that's, oh God. I think it's like, okay, so I come from one of those families

where nobody likes aliens in anything. Like, the kind of... I'm sorry to interrupt, how many brothers and sisters? I have two older brothers. Two older brothers, mom and dad still together. Still together. Okay. Lovely people, all of them lovely people. Your extended family, they're they're all around Tennessee.

Yeah. Yeah, it was. And you're what generation? No, everybody's kind of moved away. I think my my brothers are one brother in Georgia near where you grew up and one brother in Maryland. And they're all everybody's everybody's the best. It's never been better, frankly. It's never been better. Like our relationships has been.

You got nieces and nephews and that? Bunch of nieces and nephews. I recently just got done bribing everyone to read a book. All of the nieces and nephews, everybody got promised $50 if they finished the book and zoomed with me about it. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's awesome.

So I'm trying to- Oh, what's the book? Oh'm trying to. What's the book? Oh, I bought everybody a different book for Christmas. Every family, every member of my family. That's awesome. I love that idea. I think that's great. Well, thank you. I'm like, I just I love reading.

And my grandpa, who just died, did this to me, like tried to get me reading. Well, I always like buy me books and ask me to read them. And I wouldn't. And, you know, I maybe did it once. I did it with like Old Man in the Sea or something like that. I loved that book. I talked to him about it. So I'm trying to create a love of reading with all my needs and my refuse.

That's great. Good for you. I applaud that. And I did it with all the adults too. I bought everybody a book I've read before and I said, if you read this, then we can talk about it this year. That's great. Maybe you'll read this, Kazuo Ishiguro, then we can talk about it this year. That's great. Maybe you'll read this, Kazuo Ishiguro,

and we'll talk about it this year. That's awesome. I hope they take you up on your offer. Well, a couple of the kids have already done it, so I'm broke. But it's... Because you didn't expect them all to. I don't know. It's... Man. I think that's great. I applaud that.

And I hope people are listening or watching. Take that to heart and do the same. It's a really cool thing. I think you just got to. I don't know. You got to. I'm trying to just like engage with books in a different way, because I feel like for years

I was just reading things and forgetting them immediately. Mm-hmm So now I'm giving myself like little assignments like I just finished a Michael Chabon essays collection Yesterday morning and I made myself like write about it. That's great. And I went I went back through and flipped and I was like Oh, yeah this part I need to write. You know who else would do that? Who? Jesus. Jesus. Jesus was really into the nonfiction

of famous novelist Michael Chabon, right? Yes. I mean, adjacent. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. I'll tell you one oddly positive thing one oddly positive thing about reading and then not remembering, not retaining a lot of it is, and I'm being serious here, is you can go back and reread books you know you loved and 80% of it is

new again. Even though you kind of know where it ends and know where it goes, but as you're reading the, and I just, I went on this, I think, I'm assuming it's because I'm older now and getting towards the other side. And I just went on this run of rereading books that I loved that I hadn't read in a while. I'm kind of doing that too lately.

But I forgot, I'm telling you, 80% of these books that I loved, that I hadn't read in a while. I'm kinda doing that too lately. But I forgot, I'm telling you, 80% of these books that I know I loved. Yeah. And they were all great. I'm so glad I reread them. Yeah. And it felt almost fresh. Is there a particular one that's jumping out

where you're like, oh. All the ones that I've read, I went on, so I read Masters of Atlantis, which I probably read five times. That's sitting on my shelf. Here's my tattoo. Oh really? That's Masters of Atlantis.

Okay. The Third Policeman. I got that sitting on my shelf. What did I read after that? Oh, Independent People. I don't know that. A Icelandic author. It's great. Icelandic author. Okay.

It's great. Okay. It's great. And Hunger by Newt Hampson, which is maybe the best of all. And those are all strong books. Never heard of that book. Oh, it's great. Is it?

It's so good. Is it in the abstract, comical universe of the first two that I recognize, or is it a- No. of the first two that I recognize or is it a? No, it is a, it's the, it's first person, a guy in Oslo in the turn of the 20th century. So it's, I think it's around World War I-ish, but, and he is a writer and he just doesn't have any money and it's literal, it's just a matter of days and he's trying to get food he's trying to eat and of the

And it's really You know he becomes a little mad And insane, you know like and And he's not a good guy. He's not he's not a shitty guy, and he's not a good guy. He's not a shitty guy, but he's not as good as he thinks he is. Okay. And because he has a little bit of that kind of bitter jealousy, you know, and I'm a writer

and I, you know, feels entitled. And it's just his, you know, it's like a week in his life where, and it's, but it's great. It's really good. Oh God. All right, well, I'm gonna add that to the list. I'm on a reading thing right now, because between the parenting,

which is an experience I've never had before, and doing comedy in such a specific and breakneck way, like we do on the show, which I grew up watching SNL all the time as a kid, but there's really no way of understanding what it's like to work there until you are like, a couple years into the weekend. It's brutal, it's psychologically,

it's physically grueling and psychologically, it's... It's like, it's an all-consuming kind of way of working that is totally unique to the art form. It's the only show that really works like that. And so I just felt my brain slipping away. Because especially the first year, okay, like when I got the show, and I say this a lot on podcasts, so I'm sorry if you are hearing this story too many times, listener. But my wife was like six months pregnant when I got the show and we had to move in 10 days. And

it all happened very rapidly. And we never, we were like on vacation in Nashville at the time. We never went back to our apartment in LA that we had been nesting and preparing for the baby in. And so it was. So how did, physically, how did that work? I tried to be an equal parent and equal in the baby labor for the, for my second half of my first season. So I just never slept.

I would get home at three a.m. and then I would take over the like I would take over the like maybe like an hour or two of hanging out with the baby. Yeah. And feeding. I don't know what the feeding schedule. Yeah, we three months. But yeah. And then and then she would wake up.

I think I did. She would go to sleep usually at nine. So I would have the nine to three a.m. Like responsibility. And just all night because they're waking up and going to sleep over and over. Yeah. And so I just went fucking crazy. Yeah, I was going crazy. Sounds rough.

I don't remember a thing about the show at that time. I had a great first season for any new cast member. I mean, they had me as Biden opening up the season on my first episode. They had a tremendous amount of trust in me and I mostly met it, I think. And I was proud of myself for that, but like as soon as the baby arrived,

my brain just melted. Yeah. And then I spent the whole summer kind of... Did they have any empathy? Yeah. For, yeah, okay. I mean, yeah, they helped us find a place to live. They helped us find an OBGYN and told us which hospitals were good and everybody.

It is a thriving community. I think the fact that I come from such a like, when I describe it to other people, it sounds culty, but when I come from such a crazy religious environment, like everything is built around a church, I feel like the amount of, how used to religious environments I am in my brain has made a very smooth transition. Because it is like, it's a high school, it's a comedy scene, it's a TV show, it feels a

little bit like a religious institution. It has a de facto leader. It's a monarchy. Yeah. It's a religious institution. It has a de facto leader. It has a, it's a monarchy. Yeah. It's a democratic republic. It's an artistic collective. It's like every, there's a million books about it if you want to read about it.

But. And say the name of the show again? The show is Mad TV. Okay. Airing on Fox. Okay. So check it out. It's the 50th anniversary of Saturday Night Live.

What can I look forward to on this mad TV of yours? It's actually I just remember it's called Saturday Night Live. Oh 50th anniversary of Saturday Night Live 50 hours in the special we're gonna have a 50th anniversary special that is 50 hours long There's how does that work? There's gonna be 50 hour long sketches There's there's 50 hosts. I love that idea. All 50 SNL cast members will be there. All 50. Yeah, I think there's more than 50.

And a couple of them are dead. Yeah, I I'm really looking forward to the 50th anniversary because it's it's it's a show I've been watching for a long time and I actually don't know what's happening in it. I think we're making it like any, I think it's gonna be kind of summoned up out of the ether the way we do the show. The show is summoned out of the ether.

When will that occur? It's next week. Oh shit shit. It's next week. Oh, it's on the 16th. So by the time this goes out, it'll have happened. Maybe tune in to SNL 50 on the 16th. So why don't you address everybody? In two ways, one, as if it was a fan, just an complete success and one is if it was a dismal utter failure.

Okay. Hey, thank you so much for watching SNL 50. I mean, it was such a blast to be up there with, you know, Sean White, Tina Fey, Ryan Lochte, Wilco, Prince, Michael Che. And what about that one bit? Sammy Sosa. Oh, that one bit that killed was so good. Yeah. Oh man. That was, oh, I mean, you know, rapping with Snoop and Hillary Clinton was just like, I never thought I would be in such rarefied air.

Well, that's cool. All right. And now let's do it like it was a horrible. It was a dismal failure. A horrible success. I think I just wanna, I mean, before we keep going, I just wanna apologize to the people of Midtown. It was never our intention to level three square blocks of mixed use spaces.

I especially wanna apologize to the people of the Lego store for the atrocities that were visited upon that building in the making of that Lonely Island crossover event with Roblox. But that ended up being a horrible idea. And I also want to apologize to the fine folks at that Indochino. We were just trying to do a fun man on the street bit. And of course it went sideways. And honestly, that's, I think the takeaway from that is you should always use proper flamethrower handling technique. Yeah. And you shouldn't try to build it on yourself. Well, now there's legislation, obviously, as being, they're trying to enact.

Yes. And I also want to thank Donald Trump for his support. And you know. Yeah. And what about that? I know people have mixed feelings about the impression that you started the show off with. Yeah. You know, and some people saying that's not a very good choice. Some people applauding you for your quote bravery. How did that come about?

Yeah, that comes up. It was really interesting. I think, you know, we had been in touch with, um, we had been in touch with the estate of James Baldwin for a number of years. And, um, I'm a, I'm a personal fan. And I ultimately concluded that this was not something that I should, that I should explore. But you did it anyway.

Why, we did a live reading from Go Tell It On The Mountain. And the decision to black up, I think, is the name of the term. It's an old theatrical term. I think that's, I think some people had an issue with that. Well, it was Sarah Squirms idea. Well, that makes sense. You should take it up with her.

I mean, I really wasn't in the room. But you did it. Anyone anything to I don't know. I love that whole era. Yeah, I love like all of the sort of you like Jim Crow. No, the French expat kind of, you know, the whole thing with, you know, Hemingway and oh, OK. Oh, I see where they write literary figures loom so large.

Sure. Sure. Sure. Well, you're a big reader. That's yet again another reason to ban books. Yeah. Wouldn't happen. Wouldn't have happened. And books. Yeah. Wouldn't have happened. Wouldn't have happened.

And then the choice of singing, I Am Not Your Negro was interesting. Again, I wasn't in the room. I wasn't involved in any of these discussions. You just do it. You put on the wig or lack thereof, the bald cap, whatever, and off you go. I was in a bald cap the whole night.

Oh, what? Because I did a Trump in the beginning. Oh, okay. Yeah, and I wear a bald cap for Trump. And was Trump okay with that? I thought he did a great job. The real Trump? Yeah, I thought he had a lot of fun.

I thought he did a great job on the show. Yeah, but he shot somebody. Yeah, well, it was sort of that, you know, that thing of I could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean. And so we were kind of riffing on that. Right. But yeah, he shot Marcelo Hernandez. Yeah.

And that's, that's, Marcelo's fine. He's doing great. He got him in, he got him like right on the shoulder. Well, what he did was he shot, he was aiming for him, shot and hit a teleprompter. He's doing great. He got him in he got him like right. What he did was he shot He was aiming for him shot and hit a teleprompter. He did and the teleprompter a little piece of glass just nicked his ear Yeah, yeah, yeah, which that was supposed to be sort of a winky little reference to I got it. You got it Yeah, yeah, because he wasn't That wasn't a bullet that grazed him. That was a piece of teleprompter glass. Yeah. We can all admit that, right? Yeah, well. Okay.

You know, we're all Americans here. Yeah. Well, that was fun. That was a fun riff. So that would- James Baldwin, what a pull. What a- James Baldwin. That's a good- Well, we wrote a sketch

where we did write a sketch where it was kind of taking from that thing of when liberal parents pretend that their children are more intelligent and emotional, have more emotional depth than they really do. Oh, I want to see that. It was cut for air, but we put it online. So it was one of those cut for time things that we still release, which is, you know, it's fun when something earns that spot. But yeah, I wrote a sketch with Ali Levitan and Heidi Gardner, sort of based on that idea, because I had been obsessed with that idea of, living in Fort Greene, I kind of meet, it's very different from growing up in Nashville,

like the parents that I grew up with, versus the parents that I meet in Brooklyn. Holy shit, it's completely different. They're not all this way, but every once in a while, you meet somebody, you hear about somebody, and you're like, well, your child never said that. Yeah. That was never said by your child.

Yes. Oh, I'm 100% with you. I mean, yeah, in a relative sense, I live down the street from you, and we're certainly in the same neighborhood. My son's three, but I'm just now learning this world of get ready pretentiousness among the parents. I did a bit in the last special I did worst daddy in the world I do a bit about the with Brooklyn dads, cool dads. And it's like, yeah, your kid isn't special, you know?

Yeah, we wrote this sketch where we're, you know, like the other parents are like, oh, he's our child. Oh, he loves Chicka Chicka boom boom. And then, you know, me and Heidi are feeling self-conscious that our kid is not as cool as their kids. And so we're like, yeah, last night, he actually said he wanted to read to us. And so, you know, his favorite book at night has been

If Beale Street Could Talk. And he said, he said, mommy, I don't want to just read, I want to become. So it was like this, and then at the end of the sketch, after it's like clear that this kid is just a piece of shit that we are covering for and that we're terrible parents and everyone leaves the house, we had a brilliant child actor come down the stairs

with a beautiful copy of If Field Street Could Talk. And then they like, he says like a very prescient James Baldwin quote, oh, Caden, that is so apt. So the fun twist was, our kid really was a beautiful genius who reads great literature. Kids sections of a lot of bookstores, they do have like t-shirts and mugs and art things

that have these exceedingly precious, precocious sayings on them. So maybe a kid picked it up from a coffee mug that mom or dad had. I fully respect this desire to expose your children to good, great stuff because the alternative is. Oh yeah, for sure. Dog shit. It's the parents that are annoying, not the kids.

The kids are great. The parents are like, I mean, and the fucking names, dude. The names. Hearing the kids' names. Titus Andronicus names, dude. The names. Hearing the kids' names. I'm, I. Titus Andronicus. And. That rocks. And, and, you know. You're ready for a return to Robert.

You wanna meet a kid named. Zeus and. Richard. Persephone, I don't need, this is young Zeus and his sister, Persephone. Well, I mean, our child has a Greek name. Our baby's name is Homer, but that's a family That's my grandpa's name was over and we call him homie

So everyone calls him homie and I sound like an out-of-date You know But not like like a 90s 90s guy I feel like when I say when I call my son homie, it feels a little bit like I am Wait to like I should be wearing some kind of multicolored, like- Tangle hat? Yeah, some kind of like, I don't know, fun 90s hat.

Jamarquai thing? Yeah, some kind of Polly Shore sorta get up from one of those, from Son-in-Law or something like that. Yeah, yeah. Do you like Polly Short in Son in Law? That's a good movie. Daphne Amber Thies. I feel like that,

for me, I don't think he's ever given a performance that's been less than eight. Yeah. On a scale of one to 10. I think Son in Law is kind of an eight. I think. Yeah. Biodome, Biodome and Cino Man.

Yeah. The perfect are. Beyond ten. I don't know what what number comes after ten, but I would give it that. And we looked that up, actually. No, Chris, would you look up and see what number comes after 10? Goofy Movie, there's been a big reappraisal. By the way, how old are you?

60. Okay. There's been a big reappraisal of a Goofy Movie, which would have been really- What movie? It's a movie called A Goofy Movie. It's a Disney animated film about Goofy and his son. And you would have, it would have been right, you know, when son. And it would have been right when it released,

that would have been right there for you because you would have been 30, 39 when that came out probably. That's when I was seeing a lot of Disney. You were seeing a lot of Disney animation studios, movies at that time. Goofy movie. Good songs, Tevin Campbell.

Tevin Campbell should have been a much bigger star. I don't know who Tevin Campbell. Oh, well, yeah. Yes, that's part of the problem. You're going to have to go check that out. OK. Brooklyn's really gotten to you. Fort Green is Clinton Hills really gotten to you. Yeah. Yeah, because, you know, you

you you are so in that lifestyle that you don't even know about the music of Tevin Campbell. I guess, yeah. Would it help if I had a man bun? I'm picturing it now and I think it would be... On this head? Yeah, on that head. I think it would be a really beautiful look for you. Mm-hmm. You'd, yeah, you'd kind of have that, you know. Swagger. Swaggy. It'd be a little swaggy.

I imagine when you have the man bun, you've also got to have some sort of huge knit on. A big. What about kilt? A kilt, yeah. Like, I see a lot of skirting happening in men's fashion. Sure. Lately.

It's comfortable. Yeah. Lately. It's comfortable. Yeah. Big shorts. You think you might get back into big shorts? For sure. The kids are wearing big shorts. Like board shorts? Like huge shorts.

Like cargo shorts again. I've never lost cargo. I have lots of cargo shorts. I find them very practical. What do you put in those pockets? Oh gosh. I mean, I have, usually just in case there are kids around, I'll have Sour Patch worms and gummies and Sour Patch. Not in a bag, loose in the pocket. Loose in the pocket, yeah.

Yeah. And then, but I line my pocket with seal fur. So there's, you know, sanitary and it's warm. It's always warm. Humid environment. I have a rectal thermometer. I have a, again, this is just if kids are around, you know. So I'm-

Yeah, just fun. I have a blow up bouncy castle. Miniature though. No, it's full on. They get really compact. Oh, I didn't realize. It's heavy, it's heavy as fuck. Yeah, it's like 90.

But they can compact them down to like, oh, I did not know that. Yeah, the size of a bath bomb. Fascinating. Bath bombs. I have a lot of Bitcoin. Yes. And I have a,

and usually just some, not jerky, but Billatong, which is like the South African. Yeah, Billtong. Billtong. Yeah. And so, I'm good to go wherever life takes me. What do you think about Pemmican? Speaking of like old timey jer Too gamey. Jerky prep.

Okay. Yeah. You're not a big games meat person. I know. Although I've had some really good, I had venison chili that a friend made from a deer that he shot and dressed and did the whole thing. And it was fantastic. And smoked, smoked venison. What if your friend was like,

you wanna eat some venison from a deer I shot? I'm like, yeah, tell me about how you shot this deer. Oh, he invaded my home. And he was going for my wife and I- Stand your ground. It was a stand your ground kind of situation. Yeah, this deer had kind of followed me home after walking my dog and tried to sexually assault me.

Yeah, this deer was very clearly trying to assault me sexually. And that's how you got Lyme disease. And that's how I got Lyme disease. And I shot him, I shot him in the face. In the face? Yeah, I shot the deer in the face, yeah. He's attacking me.

I don't regret it Nor should you and you had a delicious chili Annie Annie was delicious Have you heard about this disease you can get from deer where you can't eat? Meat like red meat for the rest of your life. No, there's like a I think it's another tick-borne disease. It's rarer I can't it has a fun name name I don't remember what the name is, but I remember hearing the name and being like well, that's fun vegetarian itis vegetarian itis you can eat you can eat birds and Fish still oh, that's what you can't eat like mammals anymore for the rest of your like your body Just like rejects it you just not really vomit up or something and and that's in a deer is

thing. And that's in a deer is herbivore, right? So they don't eat meat. No, but it's some tick. It's some rare tick disease that if you eat a deer that has that disease, I just heard about this. This is like, I think people mostly get it in like Scandinavia or something, something where they eat a lot more deer than Americans do. But this is a freaky new disease I just learned about. My dog, I was upstate, I have a place upstate in the woods and tons of deer all over, tons of everything. But so there's deer poop all over. And my dog is a puppy.

We were up there a couple of weeks ago. Unbeknownst to me, ate a bunch of weeks ago, unbeknownst to me, ate a bunch of deer poop, came in the house and maybe an hour later puked all over this rug we have and it was one of the top five most foul smelling things, like gag, gag reflex, like that kind of thing. Like I've smelled some awful, awful stuff.

Yeah. I think the worst was that, that made me throw up was when I was 18, I want to say, 17, 18, I worked for Mrs. Winter's fried chicken, which is a fried chicken chain. I know Mrs. Winter's. I miss it, the cinnamon swirl. Yeah, so it's a fried chicken chain in the South, and probably just Southeast.

So I worked at the one off of the Shambly Dunwoody exit off of 285. And middle of the summer, Georgia summer, and I had to go, uh, take some stuff to the dumpster, big old dumpster, just sitting in the heat, you know? And I had to go, I opened it up and there was all this rotten, uh, rotten chicken, rotten eggs. And it was, to this day, and I've been skunked. Yes.

To this day, the worst fucking smell. That's the worst smell you've ever had. I've ever, and this is not up there, but it was top five. Has replaced, I don't know what it replaced, but it was so warm, dear shit. That was in the- That your dog ingested. Yeah, mixed with other stuff.

Bile from a dog's stuff. And just all over and it was fucking foul. It was so awful, so awful. And in front of the, like a fireplace. So we got a nice crackling fire. Awesome, yeah, a lot of crackling fire. And just deer shit all over, hot, chewed up. It was awful.

My daughter is like, you know, like doing the kind of comically dramatic nose pinch. And I'd been outside, I think I came out, I was like, you know, okay, it's not that bad. Oh my God. Oh man, I was like, you know, okay, it's not that bad, oh my God. Oh man, it was brutal. And this is the premise of the show, right? Yeah.

Is. Yeah, it starts off with the dog, you know, each week. Yes, your dog. In just a different deer poop. Horrible smelling deer poop. I don't, I'm trying, I'm racking my brain right now to think of something that I have smelled that filled me with an equal revulsion.

And I, and I, I can't. I don't have a gag reflex either. I mean, it was, I can, you know, I just think these two times, I mean, I've smelled terrible stuff before, but not that made me start to retch, you know? Oh, God. Yeah, I haven't had a, I don't know if I've,

outside of a dream, I don't think I've ever had a smell experience like that. That's good, that's good. You never smelled dead, death, or? I... Because that's a smell that is... That's what I hear. I hear that the dead smell is the worst one.

It's bad, it's really bad. When they pull a body out of the river, that that is the most horrible experience you can have. Yeah, or animals or human obviously, but yeah, something that's dead and rotten. I feel like my brain threw that right in the trash. I feel like I have had a moment like that, that my brain is just thrown right in the trash,

the way I do with every diaper. Every diaper I say to my wife. This is the worst smelling one I've ever smelled in my life I and even that has some sort of like pleasurable stink to it because it's like your DNA somehow It's like they don't tell you when you're is that For several years their breath stinks their breath stinks Sweet about it. It's like nasty. Oh, yeah, cuz they're their teeth are rotting. stinks. Stinks. There's nothing sweet about it. It's like nasty. Oh yeah, because their teeth are rotting.

Yeah, yeah. They don't brush. The toothpaste we give them to brush their teeth with is candy itself. Right. I just, and I still do this. I give my daughter General Tso's chicken to brush with. Oh really? Yeah, and it's chicken to brush with. Oh, really?

Yeah, and it's like an orange glaze. Yeah. And, and. You ever think about that sometimes that we're just covering chicken nuggets with candy? So there's different restaurants we go to. Yeah, I mean, it's Panda Express. There's restaurants like that,

even like tossed like wings places. Yeah. It's like, what are we really doing here? We're taking chicken nuggets and we're tossing it in candy sauce. And beef too. There's orange beef. You can do that. In the Chinese world.

You can do that with beef. I think the fact that we add spices, the fact that we add buffalo sauce doesn't like boneless wings, boneless wings wings add a chicken place. That's chicken nuggets. Let's be honest, that's chicken nuggets. No, chicken nuggets is like weird. When they rip the chicken apart in a- Ground up, it's like sausage.

To prove our domination of their species. Oh, fuck yeah, and I always go like that. Yeah, fuck you. I would flip the bird. When you're making pink goo in a big factory somewhere in a stinky Tyson factory. Oh, fuck you. Boys.

Kick the machine. Fuck you. And fuck you. Love it or America, love it or leave it. I'll say that. Yeah. Yeah, if you don't like it, leave. To the thing, yeah.

James, thank you so much for coming on here. This has been a pleasure. And- Thanks for having me. It was really nice to meet you. Absolutely. Nice to meet you too. I end every episode with a question from my daughter.

She's seven. Oh, cool. And here is your question. All right. From my daughter. Hello, daughter. Why do you lose your taste when you get sick? Why do you lose your taste when you get sick?

I think, and I'm gonna give my best scientific answer. Okay, you feel free to answer in any way you choose. And then I'm gonna say something kind of snide and dismissive after that. Okay. So my best answer, I think, is that when your nose gets plugged up, when you have an upper respiratory infection

and your nose gets plugged up, I think you come to realize that your nose plays just as big a part in taste as your tongue, as your taste buds do. And I think that, yeah, the restricted air flow and maybe, yeah, I would say that just the overall fogginess of your head that the illness is making happen just disrupts how all these body parts work together to give us pleasurable sensations. And that's what I think it is. I think it's more about the nose when you lose your taste when you get sick.

There you go. And then the snide and dismissive answer is, well, it's because you lead a life of sin and God is punishing you for getting sick by making you more sick. God punishes you for just for getting sick by making you more sick. He's, God punishes you for, just for getting sick? Yeah, God's kinda going, you idiot, you idiot, you got sick, I'm gonna make you sicker, you dolt. That's terrible. Well, take it up with the big man. I don't know what to help you with.

I will, that seems awful. As an atheist, can you even get mad at God? Isn't that just looking in the mirror? Aren't you going, you, you. Nice try, nice try. Nice try to win that argument. How can you be atheist if you get mad at God? I'm not mad at, well, I don't believe in God, so there's nothing to get mad at. No, let's go back into a long digression about

organized religion. I'll be on again. We'll do a part two. Sense is Working Over Time is a HeadGum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchen for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum, visit Headgum.com

or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not gonna do that. Thanks for listening. That was a Headgum Podcast.