Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Lane Moore

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

Lane Moore (Tinder Live) joins David to discuss sex toy customer service, dating app shenanigans, and more. Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Lane Moore’s comedy show "Tinder Live" is now on tour and livestreaming around the country. Full dates, times and tickets are available here - www.lanemoore.org and @hellolanemoore.Subscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Nicole LyonsExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I feel like you're not a hugger, right? What? You're not a hugger, right? No! Plug you in twice. You don't have to! Well, because I feel like I've seen people hug you and I haven't, I feel like you're like, eh, I can take it or leave it.

Oh, for sure, I can take it or leave it. That's not even a problem. And I'm, well that's where I observe into you. I'm not normally a hugger. Oh wow, thanks. Also, do you have a preference? Oh, I'm closer to this one, that works. All right.

Yeah. I just like, hugging's always such a weird thing because I'm like, if somebody really, it's like important to them, I wanna do if somebody really, it's like important to them, I want to do it. But if it's not important to them, then why am I forcing them? You know what I mean? It's not important to me. I started, I was, you know, I was more like not anti hugging.

I just didn't like being touched. And then after 9-11, I became a little, I'm not kidding. Really? I became a little more huggy. Yeah, for real. That actually makes a lot of sense. It's just so often after 9-11 is usually someone's punchline, you know? So I was not expecting an earnest thing to follow it.

No, it was true. And it was something that I, I mean, I was aware, I became aware of it because I'm like, oh wow, I'm not normally ever the person to initiate, you know, come in, hug. And now I don't even think about it. You know, unless, unless somebody's super sweaty. I worried that would be me. It's not even that hot out.

I did. I was, I met you. Yeah. Okay. Cool. I was pretty sure I'm wearing lace, you know, clings, but I hot out. I did, I was, I met you. Yeah, okay, cool, cool. I was pretty sure. I'm wearing lace, you know, it clings, but I was worried. Why are you wearing lace? I just was in the mood. I haven't really, even though you've never been

in the mood for lace, David. I don't, I mean, I guess, but it was a Purim thing. Yeah. But. That's fine. No, I've never been in a lace mood, but I can imagine it. Sometimes I like it. There's just something that's very like,

I don't know, that's very like new wave 80s goth that I just really appreciate about a sheer lace undershirt somehow. Sure. Or maybe the way the East Village used to be. Maybe not. Yeah, a long time ago. A long time ago, but you know, time I didn't get to say.

Does it feel good or? It feels better when it's not summer. I didn't, I'm not very good at like planning my outfits based on the weather. Like I'm not gonna go out, like when I look at my weather app or whatever, I don't look at it and I'm like, oh, it's 72. Like I know what to wear. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm always either go out like when I look at my weather app or whatever I don't look at it and I'm like, oh, it's 72 like I know what to wear Do you know what I mean? Like I'm always either a little bit too cold or a little too hot

I haven't I can't do it knowing that you're always a little too cold or a little too hot What about adjusting since you have that knowledge? What about going? You know what? I'm always a little too cold or a little too hot. I'm gonna bring an extra, hmm. I am devoutly stubborn. I will not do it. I will not do it. I don't wanna carry an extra thing. I have like a weird anxiety about it

where I'm like, now I'm bringing this jacket or what if I don't even need it? And the whole night I'm just carrying this jacket cause what if I need it? What about a backpack or something? Rather be uncomfortable. I do have a tote. Okay, your tote. What about putting a wrap in your tote? Because here's be uncomfortable. I do have a tote. Okay, your tote.

What about putting a wrap in your tote? Because here's the thing. I honestly don't know. If it's cold enough to be cold, you wear a jacket. Yeah. And the extra thing can easily fit in that tote easily. It could, and it's better to have it. I have, I think some of my stubbornness is like,

I still have some kind of a like tough it out mentality like I wasn't I don't know. I I didn't that's kind of what I have. I have kind of like I don't know I'll figure it out. Were you were you brought up outside? Outside like just just raised out so out that doors Yes, in many ways in a metaphorical sense, yes. Well, I meant in a literal sense. No, no, but I might as well, people are like, are you raised by wolves?

Are you just raised in the woods? I'm like, kinda. Where were you raised? You know? And I'm not saying this to be clever, but I wasn't really. But I was kind of raised all over. We moved a lot, so it was kind of raised all over we like moved a lot so it was kind of like I didn't have like a

Set place. Yeah same here. I guess yeah, so it's like I don't have are you like this like I don't have an attachment to Like this is to me New York City is home. Mm-hmm. I don't have a like One other spot so it's like yeah, and I'm not it's it's not a like, close thing. But I think I had some of the tough it out stuff I know comes from like, I think I think you might have some similar stuff with this. But like, it was very much like, very patriarchal, shitty dad, very like I'm scared of him mom, me kind of like being serious. She's being really rude. That is rude. Sorry. Did that just happen? Yeah, or did you make that happen? No, no that my phone is you know got a mind of its own and like chime in Like a shock jock and being like

No, my fingers are right here. My hands are right here You can see it. I was like maybe somebody else is like there's like a shock jock at head gum Who's like she's talking about something personal. That's hilarious, like, oh God, cool. So is that just your like text tone? That's my notification sound. Oh, okay, it's the womp womp. Yeah, it's the sad trombone.

Tremendous, but you know, I think like, I had to like raise myself and like kind of everybody, and when you have that, I think sometimes you take some of that stuff into your adulthood where you're like tough it out you can deal with it and it's like yeah for sure I I Don't think our backgrounds were because my dad Wasn't there a whole lot and then he left when I was nine and my sisters were seven and a half and five. And it was after that where, cause we had no money in debt and he just left.

So there was a lot of, I mean, you did just that because nobody really had to tell you, you just, we were left. So if you want to eat, make yourself a sandwich, you know, and, you know, my mom wasn't coming back until six o'clock. And, you know, that was, that was it, you know, it was, it wasn't necessarily, but I do, because I grew up poor and without, you know, kind of a support system outside of my mom's, at first just scrambling to find any job

because she had no real skills. And, you know, it was just, it was, I have a lot of that where, it's mostly, right now I'm thinking of, and she's an okay kid, but she's, my kid is definitely spoiled and we know that she's an only kid. I've never, I, at age 60,

have never lived in a place as big as my brownstone. And she is, she knows nothing except living in that brownstone. And I'm like, I mean, we didn't have stairs, stairs? We didn't have stairs. Stairs have what? Stairs are a rich man's game. Lead me yeah another room

Yeah, another level I love when people sometimes like there's levels of wealth that I didn't know existed since I come from like such Like really having nothing that like sometimes there are like wings to a house I'm like there's a wing like just these levels that you didn't even know were there because my version of like wealth was like Like not that wealthy. Do you know were there because my version of like wealth was like, like not that wealthy, do you know what I mean? Where you're just like, you didn't have a comprehensive of like, that's not wealth man. I look back on when I was a kid and what I thought, and really wealth was, as I see it now as an adult,

like for me, anybody who had video games, you know, a video game system, Atari, whatever. More than one game. I think I had like the game that came with the system. That was a thing. And anybody who had that kind of carpeted, like carpet on the walls, kind of rec room where they turn their basement, if they had a house and they turn their basement into like the fun zone, you know? Like that.

I've seen this in movies, which says a lot, but it's like there's a skee ball and stuff and like, well, not like an arcade. Not like an arcade, okay, yeah. I meant like you took the place that would have been storage or whatever, and they turned it into like. Fun world.

Yeah, and like that's my dad's wet bar. But it's a whole separate part. So you go to these smaller houses, which to me was like, that's cool. You got a house and you got a little stairway. Yeah. And it goes up and there's like, not, not, I mean, again, by my standards now,

it's like, oh, it's fine, you know, you got a second floor and you got two bedrooms and a closet and a bathroom. And then the downstairs is like maybe a pantry and kitchen, dining room, living room, that's it. But to me, that was like, wow. And then when they had their basement finished and there was fucking shit in their basement

and stuff that you could do? Holy shit. Yeah. That's wealthy. Right, and then you grow up, and especially being in New York City, and then you're around these people who have levels of wealth that you can't,

your brain can't even comprehend because the levels of wealth that you had as a kid were so kind of paltry in comparison, and then you're like, oh, there's just all of these kinds of levels. I didn't like, it's, it's always when, when you said like, you know, dad wasn't around a lot, my dad wasn't around a lot, but like when he was, it was like, not great. And so then when they split up and it was like,

we're just kind of like finding places to live or whatever, it was like, there's that like brief relief. I don't know if you felt that like whatever when your dad left or whatever, but there was kind of a like, no, I, there's that like brief relief. I don't know if you felt that like whatever when your dad left or whatever, but there was kind of a like. No. It's still horrible. Everything was still horrible. No, it was a bummer when he left.

Okay. Because we, yeah, there was, I don't remember, I was talking to my sister about this. I don't remember any like real fights, like yelling between my mom and dad. My mom is very, she's a pushover, docile, weak-spirited, or that's not the right word, but just, you know.

Also, I don't know your mom, I don't know what the situation is, but like, in all fairness, I look at aspects of that in your't know your mom, I don't know what situation is, but like, in all fairness, I look at aspects of that in your mom and my mom, and I'm like, that is what the world told them was the best route, which sucks. Oh yeah. You know? I mean, I think part of the problem too was she wasn't that experienced and she came from,

I didn't, both my grandfathers died before I was born, but my grandmother, her mom was pretty cold and not a warm person at all, very intellectual, very, but just there was nothing there. And also really critical of my mom too. And did not like my dad. And told her as much like. Which may be fair.

Oh for sure. Right, okay. No she was right. But still it's a dynamic. Yeah. And then I was too young to know of the, I told you so stuff, but I would imagine there was a lot of that.

And she would go to my mom for money when we needed money. And also she didn't care for us very much, the kids. And it was just a weird fucking situation. And I remember when my grandmom was getting too old I remember when my grandmom was getting too old to be self-sufficient, she was very self-sufficient, very independent and self-sufficient. Yeah. And also my grandfather died in front of my mom

and my grandmother. He had an aneurysm, brain, and just like, boom, like was up, they were all in the den reading or whatever, and he went up to like go get a book and he just dropped it. And so that's gotta fuck a person up. Yeah, totally. And from what I know, he was pretty cold too. And they were, so then, you know,

my mom and grandma had a strained relationship. And then when my grandmother. Was unable to be self-sufficient, she moved down to Atlanta to spend her last days there. And I remember after she died and she was in this kind of, you know, cool old folks home, like moderate, you know, like fun. And it's also like, what even is that? Is there like sex there?

What is it? Just jerking off, lots of jerking off. A lot of sex. A lot of vibrators all over the place. Yeah, for free, just in the bathroom. Yeah, well it was a federal- Take one, leave one. This was an earlier, it wasn't all GOP,

there was a little bit more. Then this is Atlanta too, not, you know, it's Georgia but it's still, so they were, you know, giving, they had a program where they, you know, vibrators, you know, rabbits and flush lights for the elderly and there would be like a van that would come by and distribute. Right, and that's what you're paying for,

you're paying for that premium, like you didn't have to order this. Well, it's taxpayers. Yeah. You know,'re paying for. You're paying for that premium. Like you didn't have to order this. Well it's taxpayers. Yeah. You know, we, it was funded by the city, yeah. Tax funded orgasms for the elderly. You know, it's a platform. Well orgasm is, you know, fingers crossed,

but I mean they're not making any promises. At least the attempt. The attempt is fair. You know, you don't see a whole lot of old ladies going, you know, like, this didn't work for me. And, well ma'am, you're doing it wrong. To be fair, some of those have a lot of functions.

Yeah, yeah. A lot of settings. To try and learn that at 80, god bless you. Man, I mean. They're not tech savvy, so. No. You gotta charge it with a USB what? Yeah, they can.

I'm the same way, but. I know, I get it. And there's nothing more awkward than returning a flesh light and trying to get your, you know, like, this doesn't work, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think it's me, but it's just not. And well, you know, having to fucking argue with the person behind the counter,

like, well, what's wrong, sir? I don't know, it's not, I mean. Have you, you have done this? This is a real- Multiple times. Or you're just assuming, okay, yeah. I was like, well, what's wrong? So I don't know. It's not, I mean, if you have, you have done this, this is a real multiple times. Just assume. Okay. Yeah. I was like, you've definitely done fine. I'm on my, I don't know, 17, 18, 19th fleshlight. Wow. Devotion brand devotion. Is this, is this sponsored by fleshlight?

Well, I mean, hint, hint, right? God willing. Yeah. God willing. And can I tell you that the first thing that brought up is, and I haven't actually like talked about this because sometimes I'll have like a topic that I'm like, that's so rife with like material and I'll do it one day. But I worked customer service at a sex toy website as a teenager and I have not explored it in my standup

or anything like that or written about it. But I've been on the other side. I've been on the other side of it where I was like, like having men, mostly men just be like, I'm having a problem with this, or they would like return a copy. Sometimes you're on the phone with them. Sometimes you're processing orders that come in

and they would have like. Special notes or. Yes, and I love the special notes. For like someone I want to be community was just like, this is the perfect job. But they would have like someone return a cock ring and you have to select a reason why you're returning it. And I'm sure I just loved imagining the men

checking the box that said too big. Like I got too big of a cock ring. All right. And I want my money of a cock ring. All right. And I want my money back. My eyes were my eyes were bigger than my car. Right. Right. Also, this cock is probably ten dollars. I feel like that's probably worse worth the cost of just eating the ten dollars

than like sending it back to the company and being like, I put my dick in it and my dick was much smaller than I thought. I would like a refund, please. Like how is that? How is that worth it? If you need 10 bucks, you need 10 bucks. You need it. But I just was like, wow, the like good for you, I guess that you were like, I'm going to send it back and I am going to check too small. Like this guy was honest. He wasn't like, or whatever. Was it too big? Yeah. He was like too small. My dick was huge or like you would get Women probably that's like got the vibe

It was a bachelorette gift would buy these like the the biggest deal they've ever seen that was like, you know Two feet wide whatever like ripper. Yes some like comically large dildo and They would send it back and be like too big and like yeah No shit You want the biggest penis in the world that was supposed to sit on a table and you were supposed to laugh at it. And they're like, too big, we didn't need it.

I just, it was just, or I think my favorite ones were we sold these penis cages that would be used for, I guess, like S&M stuff where it would be like, keep your dick in a cage so I get back or whatever. Like a novelty or for real back or whatever like a like a novelty Or for real it was like a little cage this little cage that you would like put over your penis And the idea is your partner has the key and it's like like a Chastity Belford guy, correct

Yeah, and then the I had a couple phone calls where I'd have to be like what if you got it fucking go to the bathroom What sometimes the wife would take the key. That's what I'm saying. And not give it back. What if you have to do something? What if you have to sign some documents and you're paraplegic and the only way you can do it is with your dick?

Well, then you're gonna have to do what I had to tell these men sometimes calling on the phone frantically, penis bursting from the plastic, just like, and me, this like teenage virgin being like, my God, I advise this penis bursting from the plastic, just like, and me, this like teenage virgin being like, my God, I advise this penis bursting man, he had to call the fire department. That's what we were told to tell them, they had to call the fire department

and have their dick cut out of a cage. Oh my God, that's humiliating. Amazing, an incredible job. And you got this job as a teenager in the United States of America? In the United States of America? The United States of America. It was a fun job.

But I'm always just like, there's so much shit that happened in that. It's its own thing. What was the, it's just an online like massive sex. It was just a sex toy website. And I remember at the time, the reason I chose it, I wasn't like, ooh, it's a laced just fun job. It just paid well. And I was making shitty money,

you know, like waitressing or barista or whatever I was doing for work and stuff, and I was like, oh, this pays more than that stuff. I don't really know what it is, and they're kind of vague in the listing, and I just went in and I was like, you know. It's an office job. You went in somewhere.

I went into an office, yeah, and it was like the blessing slash curse of having the mind of like a writer in comic who was like, this is kind of fun. This is a very interesting job to have. Wow. Yeah, so. But anyway.

We are talking with Lane Moore. She of the Tinder Live show, which I've participated in now five, six, seven times. Enjoyed it, very, very funny. You're very good at what you do. And I know your Tinder Live is going on tour again. Yeah, I'm going on tour.

This is a big tour because it's the 10th anniversary tour. It's the 10 years since I started the show which is wild the We explain what the show is. Yeah, absolutely. So tinder live I'm going on my dating app and I am swiping through live audience votes whether I swipe right or left on somebody we match live in the moment and We mean it's projected on a big screen behind you. Yes, it's projected on a big screen

so you can see all of it, you can see what I'm typing. But the thing that I always like to note with people is that the show is known for not punching down. That's not interesting to me. I knew when I started it. Well, I told you, I almost left before I knew you, before I knew what the show was. And I think Janine had,

Janine Garofalo had said like, oh yeah, it's good. And I don't know exactly why I jumped on or said yes, but, and you went out there and you talked for like five minutes before you even get started. Yeah, I like to tell people what the show is kinda like. Yeah, guess out. And then I'm thinking, oh, this is bullshit, fuck this.

I was really starting to get a little angry. And I was, in my head, I was fantasizing like about- The worst version of it. Well, about coming out and going, hey, I'm not participating because I think this is fucked up. Yeah. I don't like it. I don't think it's cruel. And it's and I thought you were making fun of those people.

And in a way, you are, but you're leading them to they're hoisting themselves on their own petard as a totally there. You're not you're not pointing anything else out. You're letting them do all the work. And and then, you know, it started. you're not pointing anything else out and you're letting them do all the work. And then, you know, it started and I was like, it wasn't exactly what I thought or wasn't, you know. What you feared, yeah.

Yeah, and it was fucking funny. And it was really funny to, and also I was completely ignorant to those dating apps, how they work. And I mean mean I've done it a bunch now And I still have occasionally be like wait, so what's happened? How does he know my favorite moment of that was I want to say this was the first time you did the show I Got to explain what the eggplant emoji means to you and it was an incredible moment for me. I don't know any of that shit It was it was so great moment for me. I don't know any of that shit. It was so great.

I guess for people listening who don't know what it is, it's a penis. Why are you putting eggplants there? Yeah, like 19 eggplants. But yeah, it was a great moment. I was like, oh, this is nice. But I think that's it. I've been doing the show for 10 years now

and it's like the one thing that I'm kind of like, when I hear it is like people's, and it's rare, but like sometimes people, if they don't know me, they don't know the show, they have this thing in their head and usually it's people who haven't used dating apps. We'll assume that like dating apps are full of like the most wonderful people who are being really earnest and so the only version of this is that I could just be like-

Who thinks that? Who thinks that there are only earnest people on dating apps? Right. I don't understand it either, but I have heard like, well, like one time I was doing the show in Portland, Oregon, which is one of my favorite places to do the show. And someone I emailed about like, you know, one of the like press people or something was like, you know, I really commend people. It's so hard to get on there and be

your earnest authentic self. And, you know, you don't want to punch somebody while they're trying to find love. And I was like, why would I ever do that? Why would anybody ever watch that? Like, of course, it's not that you just had it was somebody who has never used dating apps and they just assumed that it was gonna be that. And it's like, but the first time that I went on Tinder, I got the idea for the comedy show and pitched it that night because I was like, oh, this is just like the craziest men, the photos they choose, the horrible things they say,

the like way they're framing themselves, the yelling at women, the just like toxicity. I was like, oh, this is such like so right for comedy. It's just it's right there. And my my favorite, one of my favorite descriptions of it is like, I'm sure you know, Frank Conniff. And I was such a Mr. Science Theater fan and he has done the show a bunch, too.

And he was like, a lot of people have done Mr. Science Theater type stuff. But I feel like Tinder Live is the show a bunch, too. And he was like, a lot of people have done mystery science theater type stuff. But I feel like Tinder Live is the truest to what mystery science theater was, where it's like he says he describes it as mystery science theater if the movie could talk back. And I think that's very accurate where it's like, you know, it's it's it's a fun thing. And I think, you know, a lot of times the guys that have really horrible profiles and I start talking to them and I'm playing a character for people who haven't seen it.

I'm playing a character that my Tinder live character does much better on dating apps than I do because she's kind of an amalgamation of what the worst or weirdest men on Tinder kind of want, which is like somebody who's pretty dumb, somebody who's not all there, somebody who like you can kind of mold them and do, like they don't have any needs or expectations, pretty drunk, super horny. That is really who that character is. Well, one of my favorite things about it is

in all the times I've seen it and watched do it, I've never, I'm always surprised at the perfectness of your response to be very funny in a way that I wouldn't have guessed that also keeps it going and gets the, I mean the, that also keeps it going and gets the guy, I mean the, you get the person, you get the guy to a place that I'm like, how is he still, how, he'll still talk to you and it's, what is going on, I mean you've, you know, oh, so much blood, ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, I will say like, you know, kind of the most out there stuff and they'll keep going. When somebody describes themselves as funny or humorous and then you really, really like, oh my God, that's so funny. Yeah, I'll do like a thousand ha ha ha's because it's like, you know, it's kind of like playing with what I don't get to do in real life. You know, when you're on a date with a guy in real life, you're talking to a guy in a dating app in real life and he's like, I'm really funny. A lot of women don't get it. I deal in sarcasm or whatever.

You know, he's he's kind of saying about himself. It's like, hey, I would never swipe on that guy because like. Whatever, I'm really funny and most women don't get it. Most women don't get it, but it's like that's where I go. Very attractive feature, such an attractive it, but it's like that's where I go very attractive feature such an attractive feature But it's so but you know in my personal life when I was going on tinder and these guys would be like I want a woman with a sense of humor But eight times out of ten that means I want them to think I'm very funny and sits there quietly

And I would I would see it and I would notice that I would I would go on there as myself I'm watching a lot of Japanese schoolgirl porn. I'm sure. And that's what that character gets to kind of do. And it's so, I think the other thing that's nice about it too is that one of the things I hear a lot after Tinder live shows with women especially are like, oh, I can say anything.

Because I think when we're trying to connect on these dating apps where like, I have to say the perfect thing, I have to be the funniest, I have to be like funniest I have to be like the cleverest have to be The most fun or whatever is best version of myself And I'm like, you know with a lot of these guys like I will just say the most out there stuff But it's interesting how it works. I think it works two ways with those guys where it's like they're either just like She's kind of insane, but she seems like she might have sex with me.

So I'm just gonna keep going down this road. That's, I think that's really what it is. I think that's, but I think, you know, because at a certain point in like, when I started doing it, some of these guys that you'll see on the show, and that's why it's like, you know, when people kind of are like, is it like this?

I'm like, no, but like, whatever. Like, you know, it's so it's so much better than that. But when I'm talking to some of these guys, they like are somehow like kind of in on the joke. They like get it and they'll kind of I don't know if you've seen that happen in the show, I'm sure once or twice where it's like they're kind of throwing jokes back and you're like, oh, this is really fun. They're like meeting me at my level.

And sometimes people in the audience were like, you should go out with that guy. He seems cool. No, I did it a couple of times. I tried to go out with them and I realized why it wouldn't work because I kind of thought, like, what a kind of cool story, potentially, of like I was doing my comedy show and like I thought this guy his profile was crazy I thought I knew what type of guy he was and then he ran with the joke and people were really rooting for us And he was great in person the tough thing is When they're going with this it's like who are they drawn to are they drawn to me cuz I'm funny

Are they kind of drawn to a really subversive? kind of dumb to a really subversive kind of dumb moldable. Do you know what I mean? And that's what I found to be true, where it was like. Were they surprised when you met up? Were they like. Well, I told them first, you know,

in order to like make that transition, which I did used to try to do. And it did, like, it always went well because it was such a silly. I think that's what I. Love when people like see the show or find out about Tender Life and they're like, they find out that like that's really what the show is, is it's like nine times out of 10, like these guys would get laid with any woman

in the audience because they're being such good sports. As long as you're not being the worst man. It's like there are people who are like, I think he's hot. And I'm like, OK, cool. And I've actually had people who I've matched with and talked with who were like, could you give them my number? And I've given the woman in the audience the number of the guy I was talking to. And they've like dated or whatever.

But sometimes. Oh, my God, I completely lost my train of thought. What was I when you were out with some of those guys? I was out with them. You have to. So I have to say like, hey, I completely lost my train of thought. What was I, what were we talking about? When you were out with some of these guys. Oh, when I was out with them. You have to, so I have to say like, hey, I know this is like weird, but I do this comedy show where we kind of do this. And you were really funny.

I was surprised and like, this is, you know, this is who I am. You can look me up. You say this before you meet. Of course, because I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna like, the, I'm not, that's kind of the whole crux of the show is like like I'm not trying to like mess with anybody or like whatever

It's like you know also then like if I didn't tell them that then what am I gonna be her on the date? That's not fun for me. No, so I kind of have to you say that and then they can look you up Yeah, you know once you give them all that information and and then choose to continue to go Yeah, fuck it all right, and they always I think, because the ones I was picking, it was like they were such good sports like I do live streams, especially during the pandemic. And there was one guy who ran with the bit to such an unbelievable degree

that it like blew up online and we were all like kind of freaking out about it. And then like, I think what happened with him is like everyone was really rooting for it. I think he just got freaked out. I don't blame him because he was like, he really like wanted to go out. And then I think just got cold feet. And I was like, that's fine. Because like, it's tough to make that transition. Just many reasons why I don't do it anymore. But it's like, he doesn't know the like, I'm not the type of person who would

like, you know, go on like Tik Tok live during our date. Like I'm not, that's not, that not the type of person who would like, you know, go on like TikTok live during our date. Like I'm not, that's not, that's a type of person. Do you think there was a fear that this date would also be fodder for comedy? That's what I mean. And it's like, that's where it ends for me. Like the second that it's really in my personal life, I don't seek stuff out like that.

I think it's like part of why, I think part of why Tinder live works and why it's is because it's not cynical like I like when I see a really nice guy's profile on there I like when it's also really really funny I mean I certainly don't mind funny cynicism but yeah and it's not cynical but it's not like everybodyicism, but it's not cynical. But it is not like everybody sucks. Like, yeah, it's not really making fun too much of. I mean, it's it's inherent because, yeah, the guys you're, you know,

and the audience will tell you, like, do it, do it. And yeah. And then there's like an immediate match and you're like, oh, shit, he's up. He's, you know, yeah, it just starts getting silly. They're around. Yeah, I think that's like what you said about like always being surprised about where you take my where I take it. One of my favorite things about the show is that so am I.

Like, so am I, because I'm just going off of that like like the best part of improv brain is where you're like surprised that your brain even came up with that and I very often I will think something and I will have a moment and I'll be like am I about to type this? I am and then it hits and it's just the best feeling that like, I love stand up so much, but it's like this utilizes some of that like, crowd work can be kind of shit on but like the best crowd work is kind of that, where it's like you're engaging with the crowd, you're not doing the like, where are you from blah blah blah. But like something happens. And now it's like a group experience. And I think that that's one of my favorite things about Tinder Live,

where it's like it is interactive. And there are people in the audience who are like, that's my brother. That's my guy from work. Like one of the shows. Oh, fucking yeah. That show where the guy. Wait, what happened? He he was on the screen and he was in the audience

and we're going through his profile. And it was like, kind of so weird, but it was like his profile was like really chaotically fun. It wasn't like toxic. And that's the thing. So just so everybody at home knows, this guy who happened to be in the audience, his profile came up as she was swiping through.

And then didn't somebody say like, that's him. That's him. I think or he might have said, that's my profile. I think he said it. And he, we were like, what? And I, whenever that happens, I'm always like, come up on stage, not to like, you know, beat the crap out of you. But I always say like, if your profile comes up, tell me and I'll ask you why you made these choices. That's what I want to know. And it was fun. It was a very cool, specific. Do you remember the rest of that? It was his birthday.

Yeah, I remember birthday. It was his birthday. He had a gift someone had given him. You took his gift away and gave it to me and said like, oh, he brought her a present. And it was like a bottle of tequila or something. And but he like kind of explained his profile and like, you know, later that night, like came up and was like, I got a photo with you.

I was like, this is rad. But like that happened to me. I was in L.A. a couple of months ago with David Keckner and Lamorne Morris and a guy who worked at Dynasty Typewriter was in was came up on screen and we had him come up and like play

piano. It was this whole that's pretty thing. It was like so it's just hey, that. That's pretty cool. It was like, so it's just. Hey, that's me. Yeah. And he was like really cool. And I like to think he had a bunch of numbers that night. But like and he posted about it later. He was like, this was I went to work tonight and this it turned into this whole thing.

So it's just it's like my favorite. It's my favorite thing to do. I just because I don't I'm such an anxious person and I'm so in my head and I tend to get very like I want to do. I just because I don't I'm such an anxious person and I'm so in my head and I tend to get very like I want to find I love words. I love finding the perfect words and kind of the great thing about doing a show where you're doing basically an improvised set kind of every night is like there's like trust I've had to develop where it's like I'm going to find the joke every time that I think is really cool as a performer.

Even though it was like, scary at the time. I'm going all over. I'm starting in Washington, DC. And then I'm going- That's the nation's capital. Yeah, are you sure? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to North Carolina.

I'm going to the nation's capital. I thought so. Yeah. OK, I'm going to. I'm going to North Carolina. I'm going to Charlotte and Durham. Oh, that's good. Yeah. I haven't been to Charlie yet. As long as you balance out Charlotte with Durham, that's good. I think I can.

I'm going there and this is good. This is like a good brain exercise. Like where am I going? I'm going to, I'm going to the Midwest, I'm going to Chicago, I'm going to Minneapolis, I'm going to Grand Rapids. I'm going to- Are you doing the comedy festival in Grand Rapids

or just a one-off? No, a one-off. I didn't even know there was a comedy festival in Grand Rapids. Call me Grand Rapids Comedy Festival. I don't know if it one-off. I didn't even know there was a comedy festival in Grand Rapids. Call me Grand Rapids Comedy Festival. I don't know if it's still around. I did it a long, long time ago and it seemed very, I don't wanna say,

it was, you know, not much of a, like when you think of the comedy festivals and you think of Sketch Fest in San Francisco, you think of Clusterfuck, you think of Just for Laughs and various Bridgetown and stuff like that. You think of the comedy festivals and Laughing Skull Festival and all that. This one was not, like you haven't heard of it.

No, I didn't. It seemed very. You know. Small potatoes. Tiny that you had to say in the tiniest voice to match how tiny the potatoes were. Yeah, I'm like, it's my quest on tour is like always like, you know, it's like, yeah, you want to do the great show, but I become obsessed with food wherever I'm going. I want to eat the best food that I can in every single city. Absolutely. Well, do you know Jim Gaffigan?

No, I don't know Jim. I mean, Jim has he knows where all the food is. Uh, Aziz Ansari knows where all the food is. That's great. Yeah, because I need to I keep a I have a I have an email thread of like the best restaurants that I've eaten at so that I can go back when I. Yeah, that's good. I'm very I'm very obsessed. One time I went to I performed in Portland and we went to this sushi place

and it was so great. And the guy was like, Oh, what are you doing in town? I was like, Oh, my comedian doing this comedy show. And and he was like, oh David cross was here last week at this place And I know exactly what you're talking about. You go upstairs When you said that I pictured I fucking pictured that place and it was good and it was not expensive for that When you walk in you're like, oh this is gonna be Yeah. Oh, yeah was great. It was so incredible. I was like, that's so funny. I was like, yeah Yeah, it was so good. I'm so obsessed with that stuff and then like what do you eat when you go to Atlanta?

I've only been to Atlanta a couple times. So I don't really Know Atlanta is is one of the only I think the last time I went there, there was one of those situations where like, I got a hotel that was too far away from everything. So then you're just kind of door dashing some like kind of good food, which is a, right, if you really care about food, that is a bummer. I need, if I have a great show but bad food,

I'm a little sad. I would, are you doing a show in Atlanta? Yeah, I am doing a show in Atlanta, San Francisco. I've had good food. I'm going back to San Francisco. I've had good food. San Francisco is great. Chicago. I always had good. What do you eat in Chicago?

Chicago. I haven't really found it yet either, but I've only been like twice. I. OK, so there's a place that I try to go to every time I go. There's like a several month waiting list, and I don't know if you can eat there by yourself. So you'd have to bring somebody or, but you have tech people, right?

Or is it just you? It's just me sometimes. Sometimes I bring people, like I'll have like a merge person or something like that. But you can also just see if there and it is not cheap. Yeah, it's not cheap, but it's absolutely worth it. It's incredible. It's incredible.

I would rather spend like food over like a $12,000 handbag. I'm like, give me an incredible meal that I'm going to freak out about for four hours. Wait. A $12,000 handjob? No, handbag. I mean, I'm sure that exists, too. OK, I was going to say that'sbag. I mean, I'm sure that exists too. Okay, I was gonna say that's a bit much, but. I'm sure that exists too.

But that's also a bit much for a handbag. Not as good of a value as the Fleshlight, sponsors of the show. Exactly, exactly. So there's a place, I don't know what area it is. Is it in? I gotta get the cross and sorry, Gaffigan spreadsheet, I gotta get it. You gotta go to a place called Shua.

Okay. If you can. Again, there's a several month waiting list. And- Is this a Rezzy thing? Do I have to turn notifications on? I'll do that. No, I think you call and, okay, maybe, I don't know. Do you do that with like a restaurant I really like? I'm constantly turning on notifications

for when a table opens up. I've never, I don't think I've used Rezzy. That's like my new thing. I'll call the place. Yeah. And I will call place solely so that I can say my name. I was going to say, do you just name your own? You're like, give me the third of the time it'll work, you know, third time. Like, oh, shit. Yes, Mr.

Cross. Yeah, I'm going to do that. Like, yes, this is David Cross. I would like to come and eat at schwa And I've been there a bunch and it is just it's it's it's you know, been very much a You know molecular gastronomy stuff and they do Really amazing inventive things. I think, in fact, I'm gonna, I'm not sure, but it's so up this guy's alley, I'm gonna say it probably was Patton Oswald who got me in there in the first place

during a comedy festival in Chicago. And he's the one to talk, I think he might've taken me too. But I've been there a bunch since then. And the staff is great there. It's just a really great experience. It's just a small, dark room with maybe. I mean, I'm going to guess maybe.

14 tables, something like that, maybe, you know, give or take. And it's just always a great experience. Maybe I could, if I don't impersonate you, because I'll probably know when I get there, because as you said earlier, you're not a lace person, then maybe I could be like, David Cross sent me. You can try it. I don't know that it's gonna help.

I mean, I- I don't either. I'm making this reservation on behalf of David Cross sent me you try I don't know that it's gonna help. I mean either I'm making this reservation on behalf of David Cross, which has a murky meaning where I won't be there but it's It's if I if I'm on the road and if I can You know with enough advance notice and get in get a Idea, I'd go I pull a stranger off the street and go here sit right down because they won't let me eat by myself. Oh yeah. It's great. It's a really good experience. The whole thing is one of those things where you know they're like those kind of there's smaller portions you know like this is it and then you're stuffed by the end of the night. Totally because it's like 10 courses or whatever. Yeah that that's my dream. It's all delicious.

And I love it. And you're there for a couple hours and every, you know, they present, there's also a place. It also allows me to eat more slowly than I usually do because I inhale my food, I always have, but at those places, I'm like, what is this little, I'm gonna savor it. I'm actually gonna savor it instead of inhale it.

And then it's like takes forever and I don't get full too fast. I like, keeps me on my toes like, what is this? It's just, I think that's my favorite way to spend my time that's not comedy. Yeah, you'll really like schwa then. And it's schwa like the symbol, you know? Like the schwa sound. Okay.

And where else did you say you're going? So I'm going. Where do you eat in San Francisco? I'm trying to remember. This is why I have the list, because I'm not like if it really stands out to me, if I go like 10 times, I'll remember the name, but otherwise I don't remember the name. Ten times. I would hope so. No, but you know what I mean, if I've been back multiple times and I'll remember, but

sometimes I remember it vaguely where I'll be like the Malaysian place. What was that? And then we'll look like the Malaysian place. What was that? And then we'll look up the Malaysian place. But I've only been to San Francisco a couple times. But there's a lot of places in Portland that I really love. There's one place, I don't know. Yeah, obviously that sushi place. I think about that sushi place all the time.

I don't even remember. I had like incredible sake there. It was just like top to bottom. But I don't know the name of that place. Do you? I don't remember But I don't know the name of that place. Do you I don't remember? I don't know any place I but I want to get there Yeah, I tend to but because of the bias of remembering things that I hated I'm it's much easier for me to remember a place that wronged me that I'm like that pizza was the fucking worst and I'm never Gonna forgive you

For making me eat it And you know probably didn't throw it out, probably definitely just kept eating it out of spite. But going to Seattle, I haven't found really great food in Seattle, I know it exists. LA, I'm still trying to find, I know there's good food in LA.

I know there's great food in LA. I don't wanna be that person. I refuse to be that person. No, LA's got great food. It has so much really great food. I just haven't been there yet, because what happens is- In and out

Shake Shack, Chick-fil-A. They're all available on Hollywood. Ocean, only a beef bowl. Oh, I don't like that. OK. It's pretty expensive. Because what happens is a lot of it's when you go out to these cities, like I'm not in L.A. a ton. And then it's like you have people who tell you the places to go, and it's like absolutely not the place to go.

They just think it will be impressive to somebody coming in from out of town. And you're like, no, what impresses me and when food is incredible, not if it's like crazy expensive or if, you know, I almost said if Diane Keaton's next to me, but that would impress me. But you know what I mean?

Like they give you the like sceney places and like, no, no, no, just give me, I don't care if it's $6. You want to go to Diane Keaton's house, eat there. I want to go straight to Diane Keaton's house. She's got like an island with stools around it and you know, door dash. That's you know. Some Yoshinei Yawai people.

She's gonna make it fun. I don't, I, maybe she whipped something up. Yeah, she's a, she's a. I just, yeah. Spirited sprite. No one has given me Diane Keaton's address and I think that's. You gotta get a maps of the stars home.

You get that. You go in celebrities to get really good dinner. It's not really stalking. You just get the address. You go on the tour. Yeah, pop off like, Hi, David Cross. I'm Laine Moore. Nice to meet you.

I don't call the cops. Why are you doing that? You familiar with senses working overtime? Yeah. Yeah, I was told to come here. He said it was fine. But then we start a friendship and it's quirky and it's like fun. Maybe there's a body swap, I don't know. Yeah, body swap would be great.

You just change things up. Yeah, but then she'd be doing Tinder live. That'd be weird. Right, yeah. Yeah, I don't think, I I don't think I'm hesitant to say there's anything that Diane Keaton could not do, but I feel like it'd be a very different show. It'd be a very different show.

Very different show. She'd be flustered, I think. I think she, right? That was the first thing I thought of where she'd be like, I don't know about this. But then she'd have to pretend that she was you who does know about it. So that's where the comedy would come from. That's where the comedy comes in. It sounds wonderful. So that's where the comedy would come from.

That's where the comedy comes in. That sounds wonderful. And that's where the ticket sales come in. Yeah, yeah. You can hear the cash. Summer box office. I know, I'm ready. Bonanza.

Yeah. Where else you going? So where else am I going? I'm going to Somerville, not Boston. Okay. Somerville, which I haven't been to, I think I've been to Somerville for like a comedy festival. Go to Red Bones.

Where? Go to Red Bones. Red Bones? Yeah, that's a barbecue place. It's not Boston. Okay. Somerville, which I haven't been to, I think I've been to Somerville for like how many? Go to Red Bones. Go to Red Bones. Red Bones? Somerville, yeah, it's a barbecue place. It's quite good. Okay. In Somerville. All right, yeah, I've heard there's good places there. I'm going to Philadelphia.

I've had some really good food in Philadelphia. Go to the Israeli place, the, I want to say Zahav, something like that. Fantastic. Okay. I, where else am I going? I'm going to DC. I always have good food in DC.

I'm going to- Wait, where's good food in DC? I'm not sure I've had a remarkable meal there, or a memorable meal. I know there's, okay. This is how much a good, eating something good means to me. I don't remember anything else about what I ate. I went to this one restaurant that I had these like breaded artichoke hearts that had a fried or they were fried breaded artichoke hearts

and they had this What's the name of that thing? It's a sauce with the red peppers and they only know It's the one with the nuts and the red pepper Someone's listening to this now, like of course it is this but I don't know what it's called nuts and red pepper Yeah, it's made with like walnuts and red peppers and Is it Mediterranean? It's harissa? No, it's I think Italian. I love it. It's a bit. I think someone's going to. No, OK. It doesn't matter.

She's just like typing. And I was like, oh, you're looking it up. But anyway, it was so good that I'm like, great food. But it was like this one thing that I had. But yeah, I'm not going to go there just. No, of course you're not. But like what I'm like, but I'm going to go back this time and see what they got. And maybe it'll be great. Maybe it won't be. But that's kind of the only place. The only other place that I had eaten there on tour was like at a Cava, which is not bad, honestly, as far as the chain places go, it's not bad.

But Philly, I've had multiple good foods I can speak to, I guess, more. Where else am I going? Obviously, like doing a show in New York, doing a show in LA. Oh, I'm going to somewhere in Connecticut, I wanna say, Stanford or somewhere like that. Okay.

So I don't know about Connecticut food. I don't know. I mean, I think I do know, but I want to be wrong. Well, if you're on the Szechuan food in Stanford once. In where? Stanford. Okay. Really good Szechuan food.

I love Szechuan food. That's so much. The best spa I've ever had is in Denver, outside of Denver. I'm going to Denver, Boulder and Fort Collins. Really? Those will be fun shows. I love playing.

Those are great. That's a nice little love those are great. That's a nice. I love it. It's so beautiful. And then I like to go hiking while I'm there. I hadn't really gone hiking, but in the last few years, like I actually the last time I played. Denver, Boulder, that area, I bought hiking shoes there. It was a very big moment just so I could go. I just didn't.

I don't know the way people had described hiking to me. I didn't think it would be something that I would like or something, because I think when I went hiking, sometimes it's like scaling a mountain. But that's I don't like that. Sometimes it's like scaling. But you know what I mean? It's like often it's not right. Right. Right. But that's what someone had told me that hiking was like scaling a mountain and you could die at any moment

And I'm not what I don't want to do that Jesus wasn't the best intro to hiking but But you know what? I mean, like we were I was kind of trying to do that I was like, this is awful Like I think the you could die at any moment was my internal voice that was like why would I want to do this? but just like walking around exploring stuff and like walking up something and like, Hey, you don't have to sell me on hike or even describe it. I know both of those things.

I like walking. Right, right. But I yeah, it was just sold to be really wrong. I think sometimes people look at stuff. Sometimes for people, it's like they want it to be the most grueling, death defying stuff for it to be fun. And that's who sold me on hiking. When I discovered it was not that, I liked it a lot.

Yeah, well, especially there, it's a great part of the country. Red rocks and like. You should, yeah, do a little bit of research and find out where the, there's a, it's a good 25 minute drive, like out of the city, but there's a section that's full of Vietnamese restaurants.

And I'm telling you the best I've ever had. The best Himalayan food I've ever had was about 20 minutes outside of Denver. I'm trying to remember the name of it, but it was like, it was so good. It's probably, you know, similar, you know. Yeah, I stuffed myself to the gills, to where I couldn't move for a while,

because I didn't know when I would get food that good again. It was like that good, but I felt horrible for like the next two years. I way overate too, yeah. Yeah, right. Because it gives you a big fucking bowl. Well, and there was a buffet. It was a Himalayan food buffet. I was done.

I was so, so stuffed and I felt so bad, but looking at throw up and start again You know, I think that would have actually been the move. It was so I have the tote bag just lean over That's why I can't put a jacket in it. Yeah, that's that explains it Good. I thought so Well, that sounds uh I'm hitting I thought so. All right, well, that sounds, I'm hitting a bunch of those places. Did I, I'm right now, whenever this comes out, I don't wanna say airs

because that's sort of an antiquated thing. Can't say it. Whenever this, it's not air waves anymore. When it drops. What is it? Nicole, what would you call this? Whenever it drops? Yeah, that's what I thought.

All right, whenever it drops. What is it Nicole? What would you call this? Whenever it drops? Yeah, that's what I thought. All right. Whenever it drops. Whatever. And then put a sound effects of a breaking glass, but do it so it loops for a full minute. Great. And then a fart farting clown and alien farting. Just bring the back the wom the womp-womp yeah well I'm waiting for my phone to chime in okay cool that was I saying oh yeah I'm going down until I'm mild and tour right now as as of this moment yeah not for you but for everybody else and I'm hitting a lot of those places you mentioned. Where, my first show is in Seattle. But then I've got a lot of, like I'm going to Eugene, Oregon,

which I didn't expect I'd be going back there. I did two shows there separately over the years. One was Stand Up and one was Mr. Show, that both sucked. And I did an interview with a guy from a local news show. And he said, you know, have you done, you've been to Eugene before or something, you know, he brought it up and I was like, yeah. And I told him the shows were not good at all.

And he's kind of nodding. And I was like, the theory that we all had after we did the Mr. Show thing, and I had already done Stand Up There and it was not good, was people are so spoiled that because it's right in between Seattle and Portland or San Francisco, I can't remember what it's, it's on the run. So maybe it's San Francisco and Portland or something,

but so everybody stops there because it's a halfway point. You got to show in, you have to refuel, you don't have the eight hour drive, you have a four hour drive, whatever. And so this small college town is just spoiled because they get every fucking like radio head will come there, you know what I mean?

Like it's in the middle of, and yeah, after the Mr. Show thing, we were like, what? Why would I come back here? You know? But I am gonna be back there. Let. But I am going to be back there. Let's let's I'll give Eugene one last chance. We'll find out. But I'm I don't know where to eat there. Arcata, Arcata, California, Northern Arcadia.

I think there is an Arcadia, California, but maybe not. Sure. Maybe. Maybe. I'm not sure. But yeah, a bunch of new places on this tour. So I'm excited sure, but a bunch of new places on this tour, so I'm excited to hit them. I've never done San Antonio before. I'm gonna be there.

I did San Antonio. Where do I eat? Years ago, I don't know, because I didn't, I'm sure there's good food there. I didn't eat it though. Oh my gosh, where was I? But real pretty. One of the best Mexican, was it in Albuquerque?

No, it wasn't Albuquerque. It was in Santa Fe. Yes, Santa Fe just outside. And that was a really good show. I haven't been to Santa Fe either. I really wanna play Santa Fe. I really wanna go out there. I think it's so, yeah.

I think the oldest church in the country is in Santa Fe. Yeah, I believe so. Yeah, I could do it there. There's a the venue that I do Tinder Live at in Portland a lot of the time is in an old church and it's incredible. Where is it? It feels extra holy. It's called Polaris Hall.

Polaris Hall? Polaris Hall. No. It's like downtown somewhere, but itaris Hall? Polaris Hall. No. It's like downtown somewhere, but it's in an old church and the acoustics are amazing. And so when you hear everybody like cheer, like when I match with somebody or something, it sounds like it's an arena.

It's incredible. There's a, I think it's, oh gosh, where is it? I think it's, oh gosh, where is it? I think it's in London. I do occasionally do shows at a place called Chapel, something, it's Union Chapel. And I believe it is a real, like a functioning church, very progressive, you know, and,

but it's a church where they have shows. And specifically, I've done it a couple of times and specifically my last, in the last special, the last tour, whatever, as a whole thing about killing Jesus and what a better world it would be. I mean, there's more to it. And the-

You don't just say that and leave the stage. The rapist within the Catholic church and covering it up and all that shit. But doing that in a real church that is an actual church is pretty, is pretty cool. It really there is like there is some kind of its own, I almost had to hesitate to use these words, but like religious experience though of like for whatever that means to you, but it's like I'm not a very religious person, but like

it just makes me feel- I see you're wearing lace. Yes, right? of like for whatever that means to you. But it's like I'm not a very religious person, but like it just makes you feel like you're wearing lace. Yes. Right. As you know, you know, Madonna was so Catholic. But like there is that kind of like, you know, in your own way, you're you're doing this like, I guess for me, like you're doing this cathartic thing that like means a lot to you and like you're sharing this experience. Like I think there's some some element of that. My phone is bullshit on that. It gets it. It gets it But you know what I mean? It just feels extra cool that like it was used for this other this other purpose Especially for mine, which is like no longer a church, but I'm like, you know church isn't always

The most Healthy communal like positive, fun thing. So I think that's what it is for me. I'm not like churches are always great. It's like, no, because they're not doing a comedy show. There feels like extra cool somehow. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. So you phone he agreed.

All right. Lane Moore, she of Tinder Live. Thank you so much for coming. Now I end every show with a question from my daughter. Great. Who is seven. And this is your question. Okay. Okay.

Yes. Lane Moore, why are ghost peppers so spicy? Why are ghost peppers so spicy? I've actually thought a lot about this. She's had a ghost pepper? Yeah. Okay. Good for her. They're really spicy. But I don't know if they're as spicy as a scotch bonnet, for whatever that's worth to her. That's a real they're really spicy. Um, but I don't know if they're as spicy as a scotch bonnet for whatever that's worth to her. Um, why are they so spicy? I mean,

they were bred that way is up is the true answer. I believe it's like they just bred them to be like that. I'm sure there's something there with Okay,, all right, I have, I think, the child answer. Because they were so spicy that someone ate them and died, and now they are a ghost. That's all, that's as close as I'm gonna get to it. Interesting, I think you are one of the very few people to try to frame the answer and so that a seven year old would understand it. I was a babysitter for a really long time.

I loved it. I loved it. Like with, I don't, I think kids are, I think kids are fun. And it's like. Her babysitters are fucking great. They're, they all go to Pratt down the street. That makes sense, yeah. And she's fucking loves them.

Yeah, it's a fun thing, especially like, I think, yeah, when I thought about that, I was like, what would I tell when I babysat seven-year-olds? And it was like, you know, during the day I'm like writing for the Onion and like coming home and like, they're coming and like babysitting or whatever.

So it was that same kind of vibe of like, you're going to do this other weird thing. And then you come home and you're like talking to these, these kids or whatever come to work, I guess, not home. Someone's home, it's going to someone's home. But I always liked finding little words like that, that you just feel like it lights up that part of their brain that they're like, that's fun.

I don't think you are serious, but I think that's fun. I took the question more of a, as a, something on me, I took the question more of a as a mummy. Like what kind of God would allow this kind of... Why does anyone need this? Unnecessary unpleasant heat. I'm sure that was it. And in my attempt to lessen her potential existential crisis about why the world is the way that it is, I went to really goofy. Yeah, good for you.

There's no right or wrong answer. I think that's... I mean, there is, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. What was it? I think it was closer to the first... So, technically, I did get it right.

And then I just went somewhere else on my own. That's fine. Which sounds right. Sure. Yeah. All right, Lane. Thank you very much. And I'll see you all next time.

Thanks. Sense is Working Over Time is a HeadGum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchen for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum, visit Headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not going to do that. Thanks for listening.