Senses Working Overtime with David Cross - Sarah Silverman

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

Sarah Silverman (Mr. Show, Saturday Night Live) joins David to discuss sh*tting your pants, peeing sitting down, and more. Catch all new episodes every Thursday. Watch video episodes here.Guest: Veronika SlowikowskaSubscribe and Rate Senses Working Overtime on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!Follow David on Instagram and Twitter.Follow the show:Instagram: @sensesworkingovertimepodTikTok: @swopodEditor: Kati SkeltonEngineer: Nicole LyonsExecutive Producer: Emma FoleyAdvertise on Senses Working Overtime via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. I said I smelled a Jew. Oh. What? Wait, what? I don't need a fake laugh. Yeah, take your fucking... I was listening to your show. I was.

That we were... Now I was listening to the Adam Conover and I get to take a seat. Yes you do. There you go. And I'm gonna go right here. That's good because the last, I wanna say three or four have chosen this. There you go. Take a breath.

I know you walked here from, where'd you come from? I was on Bowery and First. Oh that's a good one. Or Bleecker. It's not a bad walk. I just didn't plan the timing because they said Union Square, but I heard Cooper Square. And I was like, we'll take me five minutes to get there.

But I like to be very, very, very much on time. Sure. Has this started? Sure. I mean, it's up to you. You don't have to wear headphones or anything. Do you want ice water or something? I grabbed Coke Zero because I had a weird fantasy about Coke Zero and then I sat on the fridge,

but it's the only one I was kind of tucked away. And I feel like somebody... Did you have...? Hit it? No. I'm a Diet Coke person. I mean, good. But I feel like there's only this one small one and this is the dream. I don't know much. You can get this. Hi, Dave. Wait.

Oh, should we hug? I'm so sweaty. I feel bad. You gonna smell me? No. Okay. Thank you. Please. I'm fine. You gonna smell me? No. Okay, thank you. Please?

You know, I started, I never really had a odor issue until I started using non-aluminum deodorant. Right. And then, and now I'll just like after, if I don't take a shower for three days and it's just like, holy shit. But that was never an issue. And so I started, you know, using, so it's kind of worthless. I don't know why I'm so. You know what it is? It's like when they go, this is CBD weed and it will, and it, you can buy it in all 50 states. And it's, yeah, it's, it's, cause we, and um, what are you wearing there? What's, what's those sneakers? These are Merrell's and they're, uh, they, they're called float pros. And so if you want

to float, but if you want to do it and get paid, you want to do it professionally, you wear these. Really? Merrell's like giving you money to wear these? Not me, to anybody. No, it's not. It's if you want to float. Do you want to float? Yeah.

Okay. So if you want to float, you wear these and then you get paid because you'll be a professional. So it's their float pros. Oh, okay. Yeah. Now I understand. Yeah. And they're very, very, very comfortable.

I actually, it was one of those things, and I'm not, I should do this more often, but, so Bob and I went to Machu Picchu, hiked the Inca Trail, not too long ago. Wow, that's so special. Yeah, it was pretty great. And we let, like, some some you know people any people kind of involved with the production of it we're like oh we can we can oh it's on camera oh yeah yeah

we well it's very minimal yeah it was the kind of thing where I was gonna do it anyway and Bob and I were gonna do it anyway, and then like immediately when I called him about it, because I wanted to do it forever. Called who? Bob. Oh, I think said them. Is he a them now? Yeah, he changed, yeah, he transitioned.

He transitioned only in pronouns though. Right, that's fine. We had baby steps. I actually know several people who have transitioned solely in pronouns. Yeah, this thing is bugging me Emma Can I maybe it's the pillow, but I like the pill Yeah, a lot of people like a pillow. I'll just do this

Yeah, I know I'm just keep going I just have a I'm gonna grab a tissue for my face You want hair and makeup? I'd like full hair and makeup, please. I can get some folks from 30 Rock to come on down. That would be so great. Because I'm an on-camera talent. Yes. I'm a senior writer. Talent must appear on camera. Oh, you do actually have a tell. You don't?

You don't? God, man, when was the last time I saw you? It was a while ago. Shit. I mean, man, when was the last time I saw you? It was so long ago. Shit. I mean, trying to remember it was, I mean, really, really shockingly long. Well, I was thinking about this because I was,

first I was like, do I look older? Do you have kids? No, you look the same. But then you're lucky, like men can wear, grow a beard, whatever, I'm not gonna say. Women can grow a beard in this day and age. You know, there's a freak show in Coney Island, it's still around.

That's not true. Yeah, it is, absolutely. You're allowed to have a freak show? Yeah. You wanna hear something really funny. This is years ago, there was a festival called the Siren Festival, it didn't last very long, but it was really funny. This is years ago, there was a festival called the Siren Festival, it didn't last very long, but it was really fun and a reason to go to the boardwalk. So, they, I'm there at the boardwalk and they have this thing that's been there for a while called

Shoot the Freak, right? And it's- Is this like Smear the Queer? Well, yeah, but keep listening. So it's Shoot the Freak, and the guy's just sort of, you know, he says it on a loop for hours a day, however many days a week, all summer. Step up, shoot the freak, get this freak, shoot him, shoot the freak, everybody, you get $5, get you five shots to shoot the freak, get this freak, shoot him, shoot the freak. Everybody, you get $5, get you five shots to shoot the freak. And it's down like this, in like a in between,

where you know, the hot dogs things are and all the stuff on the boardwalk, but there's a look like they were gonna do, maybe imploded a three story building and we're gonna do some construction there, but stopped. So it's like this brick just strewn with rubble. And it's just, it's just a black guy. No, that's not true.

I'm not kidding. It's a guy and he's got like a metal garbage can lid to like, as like his shield and and they guys shoot the Frank get this Frank and it's just and it's not like a black I meant to be a just shoot the black guy but that's all it was they didn't give him any like costume or dragon ears or anything like it was just this kind of tubby black guy. I Want to meet him I would love him on this show. Yeah, I would be happy because he might have Google

2002 Coney Island freak black shoot I I don't think that those search words are gonna get what you are hoping for. She's very good. She's really good. If she was really good, why would you need to give her the search words? Just to keep the status. Right.

You know, she works for me, not the other way around. Right, good, good, good, good. That's the problem with kids today. What are you, Generation Plus or something? What are you? What's your generation? Millennial. Millennial. My wife's a millennial. Do you hate her?

I hate her. Yes, I have kids. I have a kid. So I was thinking, I know he has a kid. I go, oh, I wonder. And I go, oh, it's probably like a person now. It's probably like a 12? No, she's seven and a half. Oh, thank God.

We got a few years. But yeah, like we have, we feel like we know each other very well because we spent substantial years together. Yeah. And we have not seen each other for many years. It's a really long time. I mean, I've been trying to think of when it was.

Sometimes there are these, you end up on a show or something, or I go out to LA, and I'm like, I'm going to drop in on whatever. But in all those times, whether you've been to New York and I've been in LA, I mean, since I left LA, which was 23 years ago, longer, I just haven't seen you that much. You were the person that took me around LA

when I first moved to LA. Really? Oh my God, I don't know why I remember it so well. I consider you Miss LA. You consider me Miss LA. Like the moved to LA. Really? Oh my God, I don't know why I remember it so well. I consider you miss LA. You consider me miss LA. Like the mayor of LA. I've been there for a long time now. Cause I think of myself as New Yorkie.

But I'm- New Yorkie. That's, you know, I used, you used to get a little irritated because I would forget that I just always had you as like a Boston comic. Right. Because you were up there a bunch and I would be down in New York a bunch and then you were

like, no, I'm not, you know, New Hampshire and then I went to New York. Right. Yeah. And I would always... Yeah, it never was a Boston comic other than when I was 17, I did my first open mic at Stitches. Yeah, you would remind me of that all the time. I haven't...

Oh. I'm not really a Boston person. I'm a Boston person only in that I grew up 40 minutes outside of Boston, but I did not start comedy there, other than one night. So you have a very New York-ish quality to you. People always think I'm from New York. You think of me very differently because you have a different,

I think we met like playing softball in Boston or something. Yeah, yeah. And you know, my sister from Boston. I was gonna say, do I know you or Laura? Who knew me first? You know Laura from Boston. Yeah, Laura I remember, obviously, but I'm trying to remember if like, but you were such a part of that.

Like, didn't we all go to the beach together one day? Yes, because there's pictures. Remember Leslie Collins? And she kind of was like- Leslie Collins. She was- Of the Amherst Collins? No.

No, but she was like a friend in those years of like Fellini's and whatever. She wasn't a comic, but she, I think she worked like at a network or something, but she would, I feel like we all went to the beach. I have pictures with like Doug Benson and Dave Rath and we're like, I'm making a pyramid on the beach. I don't know, it all feels like a dream.

It is a big mushy blur. Cause it feels like most of your life, those early years. Do you think you've had a good life? Why, have you heard something? Yes, I have. Oh no, I didn't have a good life. Get off social media, at least for the next 24 hours, maybe 48 hours. Every whenever I have whenever someone checks in on me like, hey,

I just want to tell you like, I think you're great or whatever, like it'll be like out of nowhere. And my heart sinks because half the time it's because like I'm am I being canceled whatever and you know. Oh I know I know exactly what you mean that's very funny I mean I knew as soon as you said that I knew it's a terrible unfortunate. Yeah like a lovely friend checks in and you're like why? Yeah what did I say two years ago that somebody found somewhere that a a joke at a bar, you know, yeah.

Yeah. I'll tell you about, remember you said, you didn't remember that you showed me around. It was in my, I had a Corolla, or I had a rental or something. For some reason we were in the garage at the Beverly Center, but you were gonna like show me around

and tell me where to drive and like drive around. I probably took you to the soup plantation. I used to basically live there. I know because you feel like you're healthy, but you're just eating those mini muffins. I do not eat the mini muffins and I was relatively healthy. I didn't have the balsamic. I probably loaded up on the Caesar dressing, the creamy stuff, but I would sit there and what was it back in the day? What like $8, but I would sit there and what was it?

Back in the day, what, like $8, $9, all the soup and salad you can. It was incredible. I ate so much one time and I would go there and write. I would just sit there for hours and just graze and write. But one time I ate so much there and I went to meet Rath and Doug

and some handful of people. We were going to see a movie and at the, across the, at the connection and I just projectile vomited all my soup and salad. Projectile. And then, and then I was like, I'm so sorry. And people were kind of ticked off. Like, we'll clean it up. And I was like, all right, thanks. And then got like a popcorn in. Because it was all, I mean, I emptied my stomach. And it wasn't like, oh, I'm sick, whatever. It was just my, the food was up to here and had to come out.

And it's like, I'm not waiting to digest and come out your asshole in eight hours, fuck that. And just went, wow. And then I had an empty stomach. I was like, all right. Get some popcorn. You know, I haven't thrown up in a long time, but I always noticed that when you drink water

after you throw up, it tastes so sweet. Do you know why that is? Mm. I just thought you would. I don't. I don't know why that is. Well, that is not my experience. Whenever I drink water after I throw up,

I think there's bile and it burns my throat. Maybe I should do the like cleanse thing where it's like maple syrup, lemon, and cayenne water after I vomit. I don't know. Sure. Yeah. Who's to say?

I mean, a doctor. I've had, I once had like explosive, explosive diarrhea at the soup plantation. Really? Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh, tell me about it. I mean, it's embarrassing, but years ago, I did tell this story on Greg Fitzsimmons' podcast,

and then I asked him to cut it out, but it turns out he didn't. And so it's on the internet, because it's such an embarrassing story, and it involves Norm MacDonald. Wait, did you shit your pants, diarrhea? I don't, no, I didn't. And I-

Well, then it's not that embarrassing. I had explosive diarrhea. I was there by myself, or maybe I didn't. And I- Well, then it's not that embarrassing. I had explosive diarrhea. I was there by myself. Or maybe I was with some of it. Was this during 9-11 when anything explosive was not cool at all? Was that part of the issue? No, this was in 1993, 94. Oh, then it should be fine.

I had so much diarrhea and then I had to pick up Norm McDonald and we were driving to the airport to go back to New York. And I pick- and I'm immaculate. I had so much diarrhea and then I had to pick up Norm McDonald and we were driving to the airport to go back to New York. And I pick, and I'm immaculate. The only thing I can think of is like, I stepped in something or I don't know, but I had just had explosive diarrhea. But I mean, I, and then I picked him up

and we're driving to the airport and he goes, gee, it fucking smells like shit in here. I'm fucking sweating from the top of my head as soon as he said it because I had just had explosive diarrhea. And I'm just thinking like, there's no way I'd, I wipe until, I mean, there is blood. I've talked to your masseuse, I'm well aware. And all I can think is like, did I step on it or like it? I couldn't, I didn't know. And I was just like, he goes, did you shit your pants?

And I go, yeah, I shit my pants. That's not how Norm sounded, by the way. I know, I did. What are you, you're a shit your pants or something? There you go. I said, no, I don't. And he's like, oh, he rolls, you know, whatever rolls down the window. He's like, oh, and I'm driving like 20 minutes

to the airport. And then it was one of those things where it's like, we got to the airport, we're on the same flight. I think he was in first class and I was a coach and I just never saw, I didn't see him until work that Monday. Oh my God. That is, that's.

Of course we went on to be good friends, but it was, I did not know him well at that point. And he was just like that handsome comedian we're both on Saturday Night Live. That's really funny. So that's why it's embarrassing, not the fact that you had diarrhea, it's the fact that- No, the fact that I had diarrhea is a human experience.

Especially at the soup plantation. Soup plantation is equipped- Vomiting or diarrhea is- They're both equipped for it. It's not written down, but that's kind of the unspoken promise. That's the soup plantation promise. Oh, shit, what was it?

Oh, did I tell you my shitting my pants story? Or no, I probably haven't. I'm on the edge of my seat. Well, not if you're gonna shit your pants, and let's scoot back a little bit. So it was a Diamond Club show. Oh my God. Yeah, this is going way back. So if you'll remember, this was, I'm going to say 93 or 94, the style of the day for the skaters, the hipster, LA cool, were wide whale corduroy pants.

Big, big porter. And I was friendly. Do you remember Melissa Samuels? Yes. Yeah. I love. She's awesome. She's amazing.

I connected with her not long ago, like a year ago. She's great. Yeah. She's great. So she was a girlfriend of mine. That's right. And she was so goddamn funny. Oh, funny and-

Not was, she's alive. I have, I also really admired her style. Her sense of style was really cool. And she was awesome. And so we dated for a little bit and so I became friends, she was friends with the couple whose husband, they were architects whose husband was business partners with Mike D for X large. So I would get just outfitted, right? And so I'm wearing these golden corduroy,

you know, super cool X large pants that I loved actually. And we were doing a Diamond Club show and the thing to realize here is they're extra wide. Okay. Yes. The thing to realize here is they're extra wide. Yes. And I had been, I had started working out at a whatever- The thing to realize here. Keep it in mind.

Keep it in the back of your head. I was working out and I was drinking these, you know those drinks they have after your workout, like, you know, protein X factor, whatever the fuck they are. And I would, so I go with Sam Cedar and we would go to this gym and work out and I drink this stuff and he's, I remember saying to him,

you gotta be careful with that stuff, you know, cause you can get addicted to that, you know, whatever the shit is in there, you know, creatine and blah, blah, blah. I was like, OK. And I didn't really think anything of it. And then. I had stopped working out for whatever reason, maybe I was working or something. And so subsequently stopped drinking that drink.

And so we were doing a Diamond Club show. And I believe it was either the first or the second show with Tenacious D, who I'd gone and seen. I went to Al's bar for No Talent Night, which Laura Milligan said, you know, cause I was doing, it was my show. You know, everybody had their own show. And I saw these guys and I'm like, oh man, can you do,

they had like three songs at that point. Can you come and do this thing? Whatever. And I'm, this is like, Oh man, can you do they had like three songs at that point? Can you come and do this thing? Whatever and i'm This is like I'm gonna say like six minutes before the show's supposed to start and i'm talking to jack I don't know if kyle's there. I'm definitely talking jack. Maybe kyle's there narrow little hallway there and uh um

I'm talking to him and my stomach's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You had one of these drinks? Yeah, no I hadn't. I hadn't had them in a couple days at this point. Okay. And. Oh, that's the addiction, okay go on.

And then, like your body gets addicted to it, not necessarily, you know. Like when you don't take Afrin after you've taken your nose stuffs up? Oh, well we can have. It's like give me some stuff, can have some stuff. We can talk about that in a second. Yeah. And it's what I think is going to be a fart. A little sweeter. And it just like I'm going to guess like, like, you know, those, they're not quite a

quart is a little larger. They're like the Lysol bathroom tub and tile things would have the spout that kind of angles in. Yeah, like that much of an entire container that just right down my pants down my legs into my shoes. And I'm talking to I don't know if I've ever told Jack or Kyle this story. How they didn't know? Mm-mm. And it was one of those things where I probably almost got a little faint, where I was so the blood rushing my head and I was like, uh-huh, okay. And you know the thing

when you get high, especially when you're younger and you get high and you are trying to be normal, quote unquote? Yes. And so, okay, well, I'm gonna have another couple seconds of I'm gonna answer your question. And you know what, I think maybe I'll answer and I'll ask a question and it'll be like this. And then they'll think I'm normal and I can go away, or like when you're starting to trip on acid or whatever.

And so I did that thing where I was like, mm-hmm, okay, so you guys are good with your instruments and stuff? Okay, great. All right, I'll see you. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I sort of sidestepped, waddled over to the bathroom, went into a thing, like underwear's just gone

and I got towels. Gone, it's gone. I mean, I used what was left of my underwear to help clean up. And I just got a ton of towels and toilet paper and cleaned up as best I could and then did the show. There was no, there was nothing else I could do with no underwear and probably little bits of shit drying up on my, the back of my sock or something. And luckily-

No one, no one like said like, did you shit your pants? No, it wasn't. I got lucky because it wasn't like a sulfuric. It wasn't like it was smelly. It was because I got addicted this energy power drink, whatever it was. And so it was just like a reaction. It wasn't like, oh, I ate some bad stuff and it's turning into something.

It's like you didn't drink some bad stuff. Yeah. And so I got lucky. I did a whole fucking show with no underwear. And again, I spent five minutes just wiping and cleaning and got, and they're long pants. They like, they cover your shoe. You know, they were like- Oh, cause I was like, you said they were shorts. No, no they're long pants. Like they cover your shoe, you know, they were like.

You said they were shorts. No, no, no, no. They're like a bell bottom-y type of wide whale corduroys. Not bell bottom, but they're long. And I got super lucky that those were my pants. Yeah, cause you're like, you weren't wearing like your usual cargoes. That would be.

Oh boy. I did wear my cargo shorts when I was walking my dog in the East Village and I talked about this on stage and I and I shit my pants. That was just because of drug use and stuff. But it was and I shit my pants because you don't have any control. You just you think you do, but you don't, you know. And I mean, that's a hundred percent on me.

Nobody made me have those drugs. The dog in a way, but it's a different story. But yeah, like I was walking my dog and then cause I'm walking my dog, I'm like, I can't just, I have to walk the dog. Do your business. Yeah. Oli, don't shit on me.

Don't, Ollie, what are you doing? Don't shit up near my butthole. Stop, that is a no. Do not shit up my leg and up to my asshole. Oh, what am I gonna do with you? That is a no. That is crazy! That is a no! I used to love walking my dog and after it would take a dump I'd be like, Hey, that is a load of shit!

And just let people see me talking angrily, talking to my dog like a person. I'm sorry, but that is a load of shit. That's just a, sorry, that is a pile of shit right there. Hey guys, so real quickly, we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash senses, and we wanna hear from you, Capitalized, so we can keep making content you love. Now you know this, we know this,

there are ads on our podcast. We want to improve that experience, but in order to do this, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience. The survey is a quick, easy, and free way to support this podcast. It'll take you two minutes and you'll be helping us out so much by doing it.

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I remember this is a little different, but during the polar vortex we had here in 2014, I think it was, which was, were you here for that at all? No, I don't know. It was like 50 below for several days, the wind chill. It was nuts. Emma, were you here? I was upstate. Yeah.

So, I mean, it was crazy. It was probably cold there too. Yeah. Tropical. You were in a hot tub though. Just the city. And windy and just like, it was was anybody who went through it remembers it, like literally the thing where, you know,

your snot is icicles and your beard. And I would, it was seven blocks. I was editing a movie and it was seven blocks from the subway to the thing. And just like, you know, it was crazy. So I asked Amber to, could you bring back my, cause upstate, I have a house upstate, you know, I asked Amber to, could you bring back my, because upstate, I have a house upstate, you know, and could you bring back the,

what do you call them, the, what do you call them? Arm shavers? Razors for arms. No. Sleeve warmers, mittens. No, the things you wear that are warm, that go under your clothes. Thermals. Thermals, thank you. So I warm, that go under your clothes. Thermals.

Thermals, thank you. So I had some thermals up there. And she's like, yes, of course, because the polar vortex is coming. And she, it's one of the things I love so much about her, forgot immediately about my request and never got it. And she's like, I'm so sorry. So she felt really bad.

So she goes out to like Paragon or something. I was gonna say Paragon. Yeah, and gets a $250 rock climbing in Antarctica type of thing. That's this one piece crazy thermal thing. I was like, all right, thanks. But I mean, all right, I don't know if I'll ever wear this again. But you know, thank you. And and so it's just one piece,

right? Is there a the buttons on the there is there's like a zipper thing. So I'm editing the movie and I'm wearing this, you know, thing with and I've got my shirt on over it. But in order to get this thing off You have to take your clothes off obviously, right? Right. So I go to the bathroom and and I've been cutting there for a while or buddy knows I'm there and whatever and I go I go to the bathroom. I've take all my clothes off and So you have to be completely naked you have to be completely naked and at this editing suite this place the

For whatever reason the stalls had like you can see on either side of the door like a good, you know inch and a half two inches and Because I don't want this stuff to be that my onesie or whatever, which is like piled up to be on a piss floor, I've taken it off. Right. Now nobody knows I've got this thing. So there are numerous people are coming in and out, you know, go to the bathroom, wash your hands, whatever.

And they just see me because you can see through the door and also in the mirror, like, why did you know, you know, David Cross takes off all his clothes to go to the bathroom? No, no, all of his clay takes off all of his. I was naked in a. And it was just one of those things where I felt compelled to. I didn't, but to come out and go, hey guys, I just want, can I ask everybody to gather around?

I don't know if they're, what you all are cutting. There's an ESPN 30 by 30 being cut over there and whoever's cutting the Climato commercial there. Hi. So you might've seen me in the bathroom naked. Okay. Here, you know, and just make a general announcement or put it up there. I didn't, but.

I feel like I know someone who gets naked when they shit. In like just by choice. That's weird. Yeah, maybe I dreamt it or I'm just imagining it. That's also weird. Yeah. Oh God, I'm weird. But I had a, I don't know, I have nothing.

My brain just went empty. I just- There was something that 15 minutes ago, I was like, oh, I'll get to that. And then we got sidetracked, which is the part of the- Oh, I know what I was going to say. Somebody called into my podcast and was like, hey, you know, because I had been talking about. Wait, you do a live podcast and people call in? No, they call a,

Well, they know that you're gonna be doing a podcast. It's something you click on and it's called SpeakPipe and they can leave messages. Oh, okay. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. And so I had been talking about how I feel like it's like Toxic masculinity that my boyfriend will not sit to pee like in the middle of the night like you know

He could just sit to pee. It's not toxic You're right you're right, but I mean just that he's like I would never sit to pee and I'm like But you definitely know what the night like I would never sit to pee and I'm like but you definitely sit to pee when you shit. In the middle of the night, oh I fucking totally sit to pee. Yeah. And if I'm, oh man, if I'm, I also don't turn, I try not to turn the light on. Right. I just, or you know if you're a dimmer switch keep it really low but I totally, I'm like still sleeping.

Yeah, right, right. And also when that makes sense because then. And also when you're prone to accidents. Exactly. You know. But anyway, not to shit on, you know, but where I was talking about it. Not to shit on sit pissers.

Yeah, no, piss standers, midnight piss standers, but. Midnight piss stander, where you going? Have a dream in that suitcase of yours. Midnight piss stander, where the wind's blow and we'll find you coming through the door. And a guy called in and he said, you know, you could do is maybe it'd be cooler in his mind to like, you can sit. You can sit facing the toilet like a cool teacher, you know, like, why don't you try that? Like the Fonz. Yeah.

Hey, you know know the original rapper Shakespeare whatever and um the original rapper was Shakespeare. You know I've heard some I don't know who said that but I've definitely. Right you're the dog now man. And uh and so I said I'm gonna try that that sounds fun that sounds great I'm gonna do that that I'm going to try that. That sounds fun. That sounds great. I'm going to do that. That sounds I want to pee that way. Well, you have different equipment. I don't know if you can. Because yours will come out a little bit.

Right? We are. Ours is I can angle it anywhere. Oh, yeah. Mine is like I don't know where it comes out of, but it's at least three to four places. Like it's just like comes out like a anyway. That's probably something I should talk to my doctor about. But it's like like comes out like a, anyway that's probably something I should talk to my doctor about but.

It's like the hose where you can go jet, spray, shower, you know, curve to the right. And then it's like grab bag. That's mine, I'm on the grab bag. Everywhere. Hey, it surprised me. Sometimes it's like a fucking solid stream and sometimes it's just like a, you know, it's, anyway.

So I tried it and I said, that'll be so easy, like I might wanna do that but then I really, it wasn't until I tried it that I realized I have to take off my pants. What? You have to take off your like pants and shoes to sit facing the toilet. Yeah, yeah, to get a wide stance as Oh, I see what, yeah, yeah.

To get a wide stance, as it were. Yeah. We haven't heard about the wide stance in many years. Wasn't there a politician who was like... Yeah, it was Larry Craig. I can't give you a real name. Oh yeah, he had a bit where I referenced him. From Montana, I want to say. And I think it was-

I have a wide stance. Like, I'm so much less embarrassing to just be gay. Not if you're Christian. He, yeah, it was, it's one of the greatest, because he was talking about being on the toilet because he was, you know, they were doing the signals under the toilet, I think it was in the Denver airport.

And the guy was in there knowing like, oh, this is a place where guys come to hook up and fuck and stuff. And so he's in there and the guy's doing the thing where he's like inching his foot over and tapping and underneath the stall. And I think, you know, putting his hand down, doing like a little wiggle and the guy goes to arrest him and he does the whole thing like,

you know, you know who I am, I'm a state senator, whatever. And then it was later where he said, I just have a wide stance. And then if you ever go to the bathroom, next time you're there, get as wide as it takes to get your foot into the other stall and tell me that's normal. But also, why was there an undercover cop trying to find men who want to have gay sex? Because it's a public restroom in an airport. So if you maybe have a five-year-old, six, seven-year-old, and you don't want them to come face-to-face, visually, every sensation to understand the hypocrisy of the Christian right and you want to save that, right? Because there's a bigoted senator who's fucking a priest, right?

In the stall, right in the stall. And you don't want your kid to know about that until they're old enough to take it. Sarah, this would be a great time for me to mention that I'm going out on tour starting in mid September. It's called the end of the beginning of the end tour. And for all the dates, I'm doing about 44 dates in the States and then Canada, then Europe.

For those, for that information, please go to officialdavidcross.com. Sarah, what are you going to be doing and where can people find it? I'm, I too am going to be on tour a little in September and then towards the end of October, straight through February. Nice.

Beginning of February. That's how they do it. And you're not, you're taking the holidays off though, right? Or are you going to have a Christmas show? I don't have a show Christmas, but I have a show the 26th, 27th, 28th. Wow.

Wow. Not a big deal for you, but for other people, that's great. Well, you know, you go home for Christmas and the next day there's a comedy show to go to. I don't know. Plus it's like- You wanna get out of the house with your family,

you know, your mom and dad are driving you nuts. I'm drawing out the Jews at that time, that's fine. Drawing out the Jews, everybody's drawing out the Jews at that time, that's fine. Drawing out the Jews, everybody is drawing out the Jews. Uh, uh. Hey, listen to the good old news, we're drawing out the Jews. Step in line, folks, right this way, here's the shower. All right. Here's the, oh, I wrote.

It's a different drawing out the Jews than you probably thought it was. It's not that, it's a different take on it. Always making, you Jews are always trying to make yourselves out as victims. Where, what's the name of your show? Is it just Sarah Silverman? No, there is a name of it. It's called the Post-Mortem Tour. Post-Mortem?

Yeah. I don't wanna, I mean, it's, I guess, because it's a lot about it at my Dad and my stepmother dying nine days apart last May. That's tough. And yeah, but it's you know, just the funny parts I was gonna say I don't want to see that. No, it's it's definitely I'm you know got it's it's not like One you know, it's not too it's not too like one woman showy. It's pretty hard. I've never known you to embrace that aspect.

I really thought about it. Have you? No, no, no. I was just imagining like me in a like the serious part. Yeah. And all right. Great. So how can they? You can I don't know, on my Instagram bio, there's a, you can click on my, whatever, you guys know how to find a tour.

Where are you gonna play in New York? I'm gonna actually shoot my special here at the Beacon. Oh, right on, great. In January. Great, great, great. Yeah. And how long you been working on the set? Since they died.

That it was probably one of the dumber questions I've ever asked. It really is. I know, well it wasn't me. If I had thought about it for five seconds, it'd be like, that's the right answer. I never do specials. And like I did four specials my whole life, which is, you know, over like 30 years.

Yeah. But so this one's kind of soon, but you know, kind of. When did they die? May 1st and 10th of 23. So it was a year ago, May. Right. And why did you shoot them? I just needed some material and I was like,

you know, this could really grab people in a new way. Sarah, we gotta do something. We gotta get you, we gotta get your name out there. We gotta do something big. But daddy, my manager says it won't really help if you die cause we're so close. Wow, all right. Well, I wanna see that.

And Sarah, unfortunately, in fact, I think this is part why you're here, is we were supposed to do a show in Central Park that was going to be big and fun and fantastic. And that got canceled because of the rain, which wasn't that bad. I mean, around 820, because I was really starting to get angry. Like. It's barely it's drizzling. And then about 820 it started opening up, but still it said rain or shine. It did?

Yeah, yeah. And people, I know people who flew out here, not simply for that, but that was a part of it. And they said, you know, they canceled it on, I mean, this was, they canceled on Tuesday or whatever. Well, cause I was gonna come here Wednesday morning and then I just moved it to a red eye last night cause there wasn't a show. But I, you know, you know, it would have been fun

if it was raining cause it's like a hot rain. It's not gonna be cold. Oh, was it like windy and? It was, I mean, yes. I will say that I understand and they were probably right to cancel it. Oh, and it's the electric, it's the electric. It's also comics, it's not like we have a bunch of

back line up there and instruments, you know, but. Right, but just a microphone and speakers and someone who works at home. And you have to stand in a bucket of water, that's part of my thing. Oh, right, right. But, anyway, that got canceled, And you have to stand in a bucket of water. That's part of my thing. Right, right. But, anyway, that got canceled, postponed, I should say.

And the new date is September 20th, but you will not be able to be a part of that because you'll be on tour. That is a weekend that will be, yeah. So that's- St. Louis, Indianapolis, and Cleveland. St. Louis is in Missouri. Yeah. Indianapolis is its own city. Right, I'm in St. Louis, Indian Missouri. Yeah. Indianapolis is its own city.

Right. I'm in St. Louis, Indianapolis and Cleveland. Yeah, I know. Well, again, those are three separate cities. Totally different cities. Yeah. It's not St. Louis, Indianapolis, Cleveland. There's Cleveland is in Ohio.

You're kidding me. So you have a show on the 20th. Yeah. Oh, on the, yeah. So that would be the St. Louis one, I guess. I could look and tell you. Were you doing a show, do you know? Stifle Theater.

Stifle, I don't know that one. No, maybe I'm thinking of- I don't, I just- The Stifle Theater, maybe that's on St. Louis, I'm gonna tell you right now. You know, I have a, I had an experience- Oh, no, I'm in Indianapolis that night. Oh, at the Egyptian.

No, wait, what is that room? Yes, Stifel Theatre, actually. It was right. OK. I don't know. Amazing. Oh, I was supposed to post about that, actually. Good story. Sorry. You had an experience in St. Louis. Let's see what time it is.

Man, I feel like Benjibber Jabber. 2 o' 2. OK, so we got a couple. We got it for like 55 minutes. OK, I'll get some more. Yes, so I went, I was doing a show in St. Louis, and I was walking down one you know, one of their, their, uh, little main streets, uh, not downtown. This is like where the, the kids are as a school or something.

And, um, uh, I saw a place that advertised, uh, loose meat sandwich, which I've heard of, I've heard of loose, I don't know what it is. Never had one as like, they had the little sandwich board, chalk board, new place, you know, oh, loose meat sandwich. I'll get a loose, I don't know what it is, never had one. I was like, they have the little sandwich board, chalkboard, new place, you know, oh, loose meat sandwich. I'll get a loose meat sandwich. Go in, there's only one other person there, you know, tattooed, tribal gauges and shit. Yeah, I'd like a, I'll get a loose meat sandwich,

just a regular, okay. Loose meat. Loose meat sounds like a, I'll get a loose meat sandwich. Just a regular, okay. Loose meat sounds like diarrhea. Okay. And I sit at the window, comes over a few minutes later and she gives me wrapped in a little, you know, wax paper and a little basket. And she gives me the sandwich and she gives me a fork.

Like, oh, what do I need the fork for? And she's like, well, it's a loose meat sandwich. So, you know, and it's going to fall, but your loose meat sandwich is gonna fall. And it's just ground beef. There's no sauce. It's good, it's tasty. It's like hamburger hub.

It's like a hamburger meat. It's ground meat and, you know, spices and it's good. It's tasty. It's like hamburger help. It's like a hamburger meat. It's ground meat and, you know, spices and and it's just it's in a bun, little shredded lettuce or whatever it was. And it's just it was like sloppy Joe without the sauce. And but she gave me a fork. Because the meat is loose and it's going to. But I was like, you know, there's, there's a solution to this. What you can do is keep the meat together,

almost like a patty of sorts, and you could press it together, the same exact meat, same spices, and then you put it, and then you can eat it in the bun, and it's not going to fall all over the place. Well, then it wouldn't be a loose meat sandwich. That is true.

So I basically had a hamburger that was much more difficult to eat. Yeah, that's interesting. Tastes pretty much the same. I mean, I think the fork isn't like, sorry, this always falls out, we haven't figured it out. Oh no, no, it all. It's like part much the same. I mean, I think the fork isn't like, sorry, this always falls out. We haven't figured it out. It's like part of the experience.

It's, yeah, well, probably, but not, that's an experience you don't, you know. Yeah. I mean, I guess they're pushing the fun aspect of. No, but this is loose meat. Come on. Come on, it's loose meat, you guys. It's St. Louis style. Fuck yes. is loose meat. Come on. What is loose meat? You got all.

Fuck, yes. Loose meat. What's the team name? We're St. Louis, the St. Louis Cardinals. Yeah. Loose meat, Cardinals.

That's her. That's her single leg. Are you wearing a Cardinals hat? No, this is a cadavers. Oh, what's that? You know, Allison and John, Allison Levy and John Lee, they have a,

No. It was a, a, adult swim show called Teenage Youth in Asia. Oh. It was a little cap, but the cadavers were the name of the team. Mm-hmm.

So I wear it. It's a good hat. It's also a good hat. It is a good hat. All right, Sarah, thank you so so very much for and in closing So I end every episode Oh with a question from my daughter I'll tell you what how old she was. Can I see a picture? Oh, yeah, you show me after Yeah, we're not gonna waste our buddies

You show me after. Yeah, we're not gonna waste everybody's time. Seven and a half, I remember turning seven. Do you really? I remember the day I turned seven so well and I have very few memories, but my mom picked me up from school, which never happened. And I put my feet up on the, you know, the thing and I sat in the front seat.

And I just remember. That's so dangerous. Can you imagine today, a parent letting their seven-year-old sit in the front seat with their feet up? Of course, yeah. And I was, and I remember going, I can't believe I'm seven. I can't believe it. Because all the big kids were seven. It's very existential, very mortality. Yeah, and I was like, and I said it, I was just like, Mom, I can't believe it. I cannot believe I'm seven. So advanced.

Oh, that's all. Anyway. It's all downhill from here, Mom. What's your daughter's, your beautiful, your sweet, your strong, healthy. Here, here's a picture of her from when she was probably five. I put a red clown nose on her. But I mean, the pictures are, you know, this is old. All right. So where is the question? This is a question.

She's seven and a half. I'll tell you. But some of these were when she was six, some of them. OK. Again, I should have usually picked these things out before. I'll tell you one funny thing. I don't know if I said this in the podcast before, but I want to tell Sarah. So we were walking down the street in our neighborhood and at this little park, there were, we're walking down and I see

just like four cop cars and about 10 cops. And I'm like, uh-oh. And she goes, what? I go, well, there's a bunch of cops over there. That's never a good thing. And she goes, what happened? I was like, I don't know. I was with you.

I have no idea. And then we come up to two cops that are in the corner. I go, you can ask them. And she comes up and she goes to the cops. And she quotes me with her question. And she goes, hey, what's going on? There's a bunch of cops over there, and that's never a good thing.

Oh! It's like this 70 year old girl. And I was like, I didn't mean for you to say it just like that to the cops. Hey, what's going on? Anyway, it made me laugh. Oh, they laugh. Okay, so.

What was going on over there? It was a pro-Palestinian march So, what was going on over there? It was a pro-Palestinian march that was like a, you know, it wasn't a big deal. They were just there basically to be there. Okay. When Antifa breaks out. So Sarah Silverman, I think she was six when she came up with this one. Marla would like to know, why do wolves howl at the moon?

Okay, well, I don't know if this is something where I, you know, pretend to have an answer and go a crazy place, or if I am supposed to, I don't actually know why. Why do you know the reason? I don't, I would guess that they don't actually howl at the moon, but we mankind has attached that to them because they howl I think to communicate. I don't think they're howling at the moon. Oh yeah, they're howling to each other like,

yeah, that's my guess, but that's not a fun answer. And the fun answer would, you know I'm not an improviser. You know why people howl at the moon? I'll tell you why wolves howl at the moon because the moon has a gravitational pull and it's pulling their vocal cords. It hurts and they have to like release it towards the, yeah, I'm not, I don't like it at that.

No pressure, Jesus. She doesn't listen to this podcast, first of all, and she doesn't listen to it for educational reasons. That for that, she listens to Joe Rogan. Right. And- Oh, then I can go, Marla, I don't know you dumb cunt. Very good.

Did you hear, was that today when I woke up and I was like, you know, get my, I have a news app thing, and it like gives you the headlines that occurred as you wake up, and one of the things was, Joe Rogan endorses RFK Jr. for president, and then, which is like, what? Who gives a fuck?

And then it said- The bear thing tipped him over, he was like, I'm with him. And then it was like, he's the only one that makes sense. And I'm like, all right, okay. How was this in my news feed? How was this news? He's the only one that makes,

of course he's the only one that makes sense to you. He like, he, you know, he's a conspiracy theory guy. You gotta love him. I mean, the fact that my new headline thing, Joe Rogan endorses Zara White, what? Who gives a fuck? And that's nothing against Joe Rogan. It's just the idea.

It would be like, you know, not that I would never get to that place, but it would be like, you know, it would be like saying, you know, George Clooney endorses Kamala Harris. Like who gives a shit? Honestly, David Cross endorses, no one should care. Endorses.

Yeah. It's just ridiculous. Yeah. Well, rich people are powerful people because they can buy policy and stuff. Yep. Sarah, thank you for coming down. Good to see you. Good to see you too. It's been a long, long time. And... You look so well.

Well, thank you. I'm holding, I'm covering my tummy with my... I started doing it too a little bit. Sense is Working Over Time is a HeadGum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchen for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum visit Headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple

podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not gonna do that. Thanks for listening. That was a Headgum Podcast.