Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 1: "I'm single as F***!"

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Hey guys, Saffron and Ana here! Welcome to our first episode of Sex, Lies and DM Slides where we'll be diving head first into sex, relationships, dating… and of course, the juicy DM's. One things for sure, we’re not holding back, and in this ep we share alllll the details of our past relationships, current relationships, pick up lines that give us the ick and introducing Saff to the world of dating apps! It’s juicy, it’s scandalous and it’s definitely TMI - let’s go! Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original podcast. Produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tannor and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify the Executive Producer is Rhyanna Coleman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys, I am Anastasia Kingsnorth and I'm Saffron Barker and welcome to our brand new Spotify original podcast Sex, Lies and DM Slides. We are two best friends who have been sharing our life online for like the best part of like five years now. Around five years, yeah, and obviously we've had each other's backs throughout, especially when it comes to navigating dating and relationships. And between the situationships, the endless swiping on dating apps and the carefree hookups we have learned there is always going to be someone sliding into our dms so each week we invite a fabulous guest onto the show to delve into their dms to discuss all things sex dating experiences all of the topics in between the good the bad and definitely the ugly now on this podcast no dm is off limits and no topic is ever off limits so this

week we actually discussed dating apps and whether you can really find love online and of course we invite you guys to slide into our dms of stories of your own so send us the craziest dm you've ever received a problem you want us to help with or even just a funny story about your own sex or dating life that you guys would want to share i'm'm excited for this. I'm excited. I'm ready. I'm ready. Let's do it. Let's go. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee,

up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. The all-new FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino is bringing you more action than ever. Want more ways to follow your faves? Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications.

Or how about more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs? And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel sportsbook and casino gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 visit connectsontario.ca Anna this is our first podcast first episode

we've wanted this for so long so long like it's finally come it's finally here i am so excited about this it doesn't really even feel real yet to be honest no it doesn't and you know what there's just nothing more perfect for the both of us because we've always wanted to do something together and this just made sense yeah we've been how long have we been doing youtube now i've forgotten like 10 years this is our first proper thing that we're actually doing together yeah well it just made sense because we absolutely love talking crap and especially when it comes to relationship and guys we have got so much shit to say about boys it is ridiculous I know it is

so ideal for us I am so happy to be here right now I feel like we need to say with it being the first episode our relationship status just so we can make it clear yeah so where we both stand so where do you stand right now do you know what Anna I think if you asked me yesterday morning honestly this is gonna sound like how like dramatic has my past 24 hours been fake but it doesn't even sound like this is legit right so if you asked me yesterday morning I would have been like oh my relationship status I'm so happy in such a good place seeing someone like is going so well you asked me this morning I'm single as fuck so the last 12 hours has been a lot it has been um we slept for about four of them awake about eight of them I've heard the same story again about 10 times to several different people

in all different tones of voice don't worry guys you're all gonna hear it you're all gonna hear it and I am also very single um I've always been single my whole life really so it's made no change there the thing with Anna and I is we're both actually polar opposites like I'm always somebody that's in relationships and Anna is just always living a high single life. I would say I wouldn't call it serial data, but I like going on dates. I enjoy going on dates. How many have you gone on this week, Anna?

I've been on two dates this week, but with the same person. No, what's the date? Oh God, no, it's Monday. No, I mean last week. I mean last week. Yeah, no, I went on two dates last week, which was fun.

Oh, see, I'm kind of jealous though because I've never done the whole like dating thing. It quite nerve-wracking though yeah but do you know what though you're getting just nice meals and get to i get lovely meals see that sounds ideal maybe that's what i need to do maybe that's where i'm going wrong but it's just finding out what someone's favorite color is over and over again is draining babe i think if you're having the conversation about what's your favorite color it's not really the one is it because that's not keeping me for a second date i do like to know their favorite color why i think you can read a lot about a person by their favorite color i always ask their favorite color to be fair they like the color purple it's a no-go yeah you don't like purple i hate purple

so going off topic right now i hate purple by the way anyways we're both single yeah but we have very different approaches with dating and relationships don't we I think that's a good thing though because we can give lots of advice from two different angles and we can help each other out that is true now that you are hopefully going to be a serial dater and join me oh babe I really hope so that is just what I need I really hope so so how did the dates go you know what the dates went really well so I met him on a dating app okay I met him on hinge I have used them for honestly about three years whereas you've been using it for less than 12 hours so I've got well hang on hang on less than 12 hours actually

haven't set up my account yet so I've never been on dating apps by the way well well I'm on raya but I don't even know if that really I just didn't really count it's really kind of crap to be honest um but yeah last night when I'm literally having a meltdown I was like you know what babe let's get you on hinge yeah you're like oh fine do it then and then you were like I made the kind of profile like ticked all like the boxes and stuff and then she starts putting her pictures in spent about 10 minutes we were sat in silence while she's picking all the best pictures and then they all just disappeared. So she chucked her phone on the bed and went, I can't be arsed.

And then 10 minutes later, she starts again and she was like, I don't know what to put for the prompts. Because if Hinge, you have to like, put a lot on your profile. Can I just write, considering you're on dating apps, when, because I've never been on dating apps.

Okay. Right. I downloaded Tinder once for a video and then I got kicked off. We both for a video and then I got kicked off kicked off tinder for pretending to be myself apparently that happened to me as well so I couldn't do tinder so I was like that's out the window but when do people go from tinder to hinge I think there's a big difference between tinder and hinge for me I haven't used tinder in about two three years but I feel like tinder's what people use for a quick shag because they don't put a lot of effort into their profile because it's just pictures and like one

line about yourself or like literally some people will just say like i want to fuck like literally straightforward as that whereas if hinge you actually have to like put effort into your profile they've recently there's a lot of prompts you've got to do babe there's a lot of prompts saf googled last night oh my gosh you're taking the piss out of me we were in silence i thought i wonder what she's doing what are you looking at and i looked on her lot of prompts saf googled last night oh my gosh we were in silence i thought i wonder what she's doing what are you looking at and i looked on her phone and she's googled like what can i put as my hinge prompt which is so embarrassing because multiple people would have done this and had the same answer one and two i mean they were all so crap all the answers but hang on you wasn't much help. I love you.

I thought I was giving some good suggestions. My profile's quite bland, though. Your suggestion was... Wait, what was it? It was, what do you go crazy... I go crazy for... I go crazy for... Oh, I said chocolate raisins.

I'm like, no, babe, come on. I'm not putting that... I was just thinking of your favourite foods. And I was like, oh, you could just put that. I do love chocolate raisins. Like, I love sushi, so I've got something about sushi on my profile. I just don't know what to put. That is the one thing I am, like, shit at, is, like, you could just put that. Like, I love sushi, so I've got to say about sushi on my profile. I just don't know what to put.

That is the one thing I am, like, shit at, is, like, making my profile. Yeah. I mean, even the way we talk to guys, though, is just totally different. We talk to guys completely different. So, in the car on the way here this morning, I was messaging this guy, and I'm like, oh, what do I apply? And I'm like, oh, should I put this? And it's like, no.

I just straight up went, no. But my responses are very formal. Like, and they like really well worded and I don't know which is very weird for somebody that dates a lot I thought it'd be the opposite yeah no you'd think I'd be a bit more like carefree but I'm still quite stiff so maybe you can teach me that okay maybe we just need the mix of each other I think that's what we need I think this is the key to success is a bit of both of us. Okay. So, okay.

Now you're on hinge. We can see if we get you a hinge date. Okay. I hope so. Because you're making it sound like it's going to be quite hard for me. No, it's very easy to get a hinge date. Like I said, I went on two last week. Okay.

Which were really good. And the second one. So I didn't actually realize. I think this might be why he got me flowers. But one of my hinge prompts is the way to win me over is to buy me flowers and then when I got in the car on the second day I know obviously it's because a boy never bought me flowers before so I thought I just put it on my profile and then got in the car on the second day and there was a massive bouquet of flowers on

the car seat yeah that is cute and I was like and he got them from a florist and he got them from a florist which makes a difference a guy that knows to get them from a florist. And he got them from a florist. Which makes a difference. A guy that knows to get flowers from a florist, is just gone up in the books for me. My house smells like a florist because the bouquet was like that big. And it was just beautiful. Like it was just such a nice little thought that I was like,

wow, there are some good guys out there. And if he wanted to, he would. That is true. Babe, do you know what? I love that quote. I honestly, I live by that. Yeah, that is so true. Because it's so true.

If you wanted to, you would. I've known the guy, what, 24 hours. someone that I was seeing for nearly a year couldn't says it all really wow so I'm quite an avid user of TikTok but I feel like you're not as much as me maybe with posting anyway yeah not really no do you know what I just I just can't bother to scroll for hours feel like I have better things to do with my time although saying that actually my brother met his girlfriend off of tiktok and i met my ex-boyfriend off instagram so i feel like you don't even need a dating app nowadays you just need social media tiktok basically is a dating app i mean my thinking page is just filled with a lot of boys to be honest like it is my algorithm you see a video

rather than photos well it's like my algorithm has adjusted to a lot of boys. And there's a really interesting fact as well. This is to do with dating apps. So guys actually swipe right. Wait, did you see this on TikTok? I saw this on TikTok. Okay. Guys actually swipe right

on 47% of profiles, whereas girls only swipe right on 12. I think that's very valuable. I fully believe that. A hundred percent. I believe that. I don't swipe right on a lot of people at all.

Really? Yeah. Do you know what though? It does does make me think like if they're like matching with me or they're swiping right for me i'm thinking well how many girls have you then swiped i just think it's a lot boys will genuinely just sit there and just swipe like to every pretty girl whereas i personally actually look at their profile yeah and i have a read it like go through yeah to be honest like no more guys are like i'm sorry they're actually just looking at the photo the odd person does because I actually prefer it this is like a bit of a green flag

for me like on a dating app when they actually reply to one of the prompts because then it shows they've actually like read my profile but do you think

they're reading the profile first I reckon they're swiping because they like your picture and then when they match with you well you don't swipe one hinge babe

so you don't know so you don't even know how to I'm so new to this so it has like a little heart in the corner and across and then you scroll down so the first thing will be a picture but you can also see a prompt at the same time right and it kind of like alternates between like picture i'm so new to this life yeah you're very new to this i'm so ready for this dating whereas tinder obviously is so over relationships i think you're gonna love hinge i actually think you're gonna love it i've met some lovely people on hinge i've got friends that i met from hinge really which is probably a bit odd yeah that's a little bit odd yeah it didn't work out so we

just say really good friends so oh well that's cute okay so that would be one of my green flags and what would you look for on a dating app or on someone's profile that you're like i like that i guess a thing that i would be looking for or a red flag what would turn you off what's the red flag the red flag is probably just like I would say like sexting like straight away all of that stuff like even just having it like something to do with that like in your bio whatever I'm thinking you're literally here for one reason one reason only like the occasional like sexual joke fine because I also make a lot of sexual jokes but if your whole profile is very like because your whole profile is very like sex like orientated yeah then you know they're there for one reason and one reason

only yeah and also as well like and this is when you're talking to them though like not on an actual message uh no on an actual profile sorry I prefer it when they're just really straight up and they're like, do you want to go for a drink? I can't be asked to speak for ages and waste my time. Babe, yeah, I feel you. And then meet you and I'm like, well, one, we've got nothing to speak about. I would feel you. I would feel you, okay? It's just when you're speaking to them for like a week, one, you've got to know them already as well. So when you get there, what are you going to speak about? Would you reply to someone straight away or how long would you leave it oh do you know what i see i also this is my situation is i think the reason i'm always in

well i say i'm always in relationships as if like i've never been single i was single for two years before my recent boyfriend but i just don't really go on i just don't really do the whole dating scene i think my situation is is i just don't have time to be playing around. I like value my time. And so the whole like playing hard to get thing is just not cool for me. Like if I'm taking, I don't know, 10 minutes to reply, he takes 20.

I'm not taking 30. I can't be bothered. If he's just going to take that long every time he messages me, I don't have time for it. So would you prefer like an instant response? Yeah, I'd rather it just be instant really I just think it's like obviously like you can play a little bit hard to get obviously yeah like anything you want what you can't get right yeah so I get it to a certain degree but like so many of my friends are like for an example oh we took an hour so I'll take two

and I'm like oh yeah I've heard a lot of people do that a lot of people double the time that they take to reply because where are you gonna get that thinking oh they're gonna reply they're gonna write it works I've been there done that it does work wouldn't recommend it yeah it's just no but how's it work though are you well I just made you a bit psycho really so I wouldn't really recommend it no yeah no but then okay so if you're talking on a dating app then or when you're going to start to now speak people on a dating app when would you take it off of the dating app and would you go like to Instagram or would you give them your number or how would you go about it I just don't know how are you going about this so I try to I'm not going to like avoid Instagram yeah because I

like to avoid them knowing what I do as a job initially, because sometimes when they see the followers on Instagram, it can just sway their opinion a little bit. I never really know what they're going to think or like say. So I just try to avoid it. So I'll speak on like dating app for maybe like three, four days, but I'll always,

I won't be the one to suggest. Should we speak on something else? I want that to come from the guy. Right. So I prefer him just to be like, what's your number? Can we speak on something else I want that to come from the guy right so I prefer him just to be like what's your number can we speak on something else okay not snapchat I'm not doing the whole snapchat thing oh babe I don't even have snapchat yeah I'm not doing it anymore I'm actually surprised people are still using snapchat I just think it's childish to speak on snapchat to a boy now I'm sorry like if a guy is saying to me let's speak on snapchat

I'm thinking please go speak to somebody else. You have your boyfriend on Snapchat. That's completely different, but I'm not getting to know someone on Snapchat. But I don't even have Snapchat. I'm not doing that. Well, there you go. You can't use Snapchat.

So I'm not having my boyfriend on Snapchat. Okay, so how long would you ideally wait then? Would you want them to be like... I don't really care, to be honest. I just feel like... Would you carry on speaking on the dating app? Would you be fine with that? I feel like I'd rather just text someone maybe.

Yeah, I feel like texting. Well, no, you still need to get to know them, I guess. Would you avoid Instagram? Absolutely. Do you know what's crazy is the amount of people that say to both of us, like, oh my God, it must be so easy for you guys to get whoever you want. And I'm like, you don't understand. It's so the opposite because with us, we never know people's intentions.

So it's so hard to date people. I think that's also why I'm like scared of dating people like I don't just want to go on dates with random guys because I'm like also what's it gonna look like I don't know I get what you mean I mean to be honest I haven't really ever dated anybody in our industry I've always gone for guys every guy I've spoken to has pretty much been from a dating app really yeah but I don't really know why and how has it turned out for you well considering I'm sat here really single probably not that well but yeah not that well so I don't really know why I'm still using it I tell you what though when I did get back on hinge like recently in the last like two weeks when I was like resetting up my profile I felt this like heaviness in my body like I can't believe I've got

to do this again I can't believe I'm about to go through this again like it's so draining after you've just come out of something to have to do it all again but I feel all right now I feel like I'm back in the so are you messaging guys more on hinge then than like Instagram more on hinge than Instagram really so what's your DM saying are they good guys more on hinge then than like instagram more on hinge than instagram really so what's your dm saying are they good right now on instagram you can read my instagram dm babe i'd love to read your instagram dm there's not there's a couple there's not like there's not anything crazy right now but there's okay just be careful with what you click on i'm gonna read your messages too right yeah you can read them it scares me so

much giving free reign of my phone to you oh so speaking to this guy a lot jesus christ i know am i going from the top no i go from the top i don't know what's on the top i don't know i bet you started it i bet you started it with your every hello you oh guys starts every conversation guys with hello you and i keep telling her but not anymore if we're talking chat lines i always i had no shame in like messaging people first but i would always message people saying hello you clearly it's not worked and i hate myself for it i need to know though how are people like starting conversations i to be honest i think i'm waiting for the guy to message me if i don't even have the guts to do that then i just think well then already they're not i was

gonna say i'm done with messaging people first but this guy's dms are you on so he's my friend i've been friends with him for like three years and i literally just replied to him i just don't know where to start because there's a lot okay i don't know how far you've gone up we've been speaking on tech so i don't know how far okay well you're replying to him babe oh I know I'm replying to him I know wow okay oh how are you feeling like about a good chat so his friend actually made a tinge profile and there's one of the prompts I saw so you messaged him first no no so I just liked the prompt because obviously when you're going through the boys you have to like like it so instead of liking a photo liked something about going to like one of the shittiest clubs in Manchester right um and

then he messaged me off the back of that and then the conversation just kind of went from there so how are we feeling about a chat up line I feel like you're gonna have so many in your dms I've got if you've got my hinge is full of like the worst chat lines humanly possible I just felt like I would literally prefer them just straight up to be like let's go for a drink that's that's my favorite yeah okay it's not even one but that's what I want I don't want any of the cringy like yeah I feel you do you know what I mean like if someone was meant to message you a chat up line would you even reply probably no I don't know it depends I don't know like I guess it depends it really because also like

it's really hard with texting I think because it could be read in so many different ways that's the one thing as as we know as we know so I think it could yeah like you know they could just have a sense of humor and just think it's funny I think you just have to see the person like meet them in person to be able to understand their sense of humor if they're saying a chat blind in real life no oh no no like has anybody ever said one to you in real life before like in all seriousness do you know what some guy actually did um he said something about my eyes i can't even remember what it was it was something like in a club setting huh in a club or like no like we were out and about oh well it wasn't like even a date it was just some guy I was I don't even know how I got in this situation with this guy I'm walking along

the beach and basically long story short he's telling me that the sparkle in my eyes is something like the ocean I literally can't remember but like it wasn't cute it was like a chat up line but it was just absolutely awful that's too much yeah I'd instantly get the ick yeah that's the moment where I try to figure out a way where how am I gonna leave right now let's go after decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons. Two scientists. One movement disorders coordinator.

58 answered questions. Two focused ultrasound procedures. One specially developed helmet. Thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves. Zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special.

RBC Avion Visa lets you get there your way. Whether you want to... Suit up for peak ski season. Or... Spring break with a whole fam and a whole lot of sunblock. Or even... Book last minute and go on a whim. Choose from over 130 airlines on last minute or peak season travel

with no points hike switch to rbc avion visa and get up to 55 000 bonus avion points limited time offer conditions apply visit rbc.com avion okay right you can go through my dms but i would just like to say something that i haven't really had many dms recently because quite a loyal person so until this morning i actually wasn't dming people um but then my whole situation changed so now i'm like screw it dms are open last night dms are back open again i was like screw this i clearly have different loyalties compared to other people okay so do i get free reign go through like free reign there's gonna be some old stuff in there okay and yeah just just whatever i'm excited for this i haven't

gone on your dms in a while actually all right this one's interesting this is this is a couple of months ago okay um oh she's gone down i just had a little scroll down the no because to be honest it's not like you don't even have to scroll that far because i wasn't really dming people but trust me guys next episode there's gonna be a lot of dms from me i'm gonna be honest this is probably one of the most uh visual oh i know who it is let me see let me actually see yeah yeah so you can I just say can I just say something right I this this escalated so quickly like I don't know where this came from like this is a lot me would have got the ick babe I don't think I responded after I didn't know you didn't respond after this I didn't respond okay just just hit us so he replied to your story saying

the things I want to do to you yeah right okay then I did something for you back I'm trying to make excuses and you just you liked the message and you put the feelings mutual okay yeah sure is good looking boy from what I can see and then he took it a step too far he put like I want to throw you on the bed and start kissing you and licking you all over yeah oh god i just had to look at it first down your neck to your tits sucking on your nipples making my way down kissing and licking your inner thighs then looking up at you right before i start to eat the fuck out of you i can't see it and then you didn't reply you liked the message well you liked what

you saw no i liked it because do you know what i liked it because i still have to see this guy anna it's not some guy i've never met before so you've met him multiple times it's not like i'm never seeing this guy again i've got to go see him so i just like the message i can't fully ignore it because surely he's gonna be embarrassed but no three hours later he obviously he hadn't had enough he come back he's gonna be embarrassed but no three hours later he obviously hadn't had enough he come back still going and he put getting it so wet before i flip you over and slide it in so deep while you look back at me fucking the shit out of you oh you didn't even like it no no and then he did message you actually an hour later but i think that's enough on that one he must have been really thinking about it like really thinking about it surely like i'm thinking if some guy is sending that they're like in the moment like really horny like whatever they're

doing three hours later why is he still going like what is he doing to be honest it might have been a bit of a pride thing because you didn't reply it might it might have it might have just hurt his ego a bit that you just didn't reply. What, so he keeps going? No. Well, to keep going, I think it's a bit weird, but I don't understand why. You unsend your message if your ego's hurt. No, but you'd liked it.

You've seen the message. You couldn't unsend the fact you wanted to fuck the shit out of you. I know, but I don't get why he's still going. Like, I need a guy's opinion on this because I think it's weird. That's the first time

I've personally seen that. The thing is, there's multiple of them. I honestly don't understand. I'm trying to just talk to him a little bit. The second I give a little, it's a lot, you know? You just put the feelings mutual. You put three words.

I know, babe. And he came back with three paragraphs. I don't get it. Well, I found a tamer one. This is for, oh, I was going to say a name. No, we won't do that. Please don't say a name. This was, again,

a couple of months ago and he said to DMs, he said, is Bali on the travel list for 2022? Okay. You didn't reply. Oh, yeah, I know who this is.

And then, four days later, he put too ambitious. Did you see the first message? Yeah. And just didn't reply? You know, I actually followed this guy first.

I don't even normally do that. I just thought he spits. I followed him first. And then did he follow you back and message you yeah bold I like it and then you replied saying I've been thinking about it I actually haven't been thinking about it I was gonna say you've never mentioned but then he put some days you don't reply he replies to your story all the time yeah Yeah. And you just like the message. Oh my God, you just put, why thank you.

Not you with another three word, three lines reply. There's me like, oh, don't play hard to get guys. What is it playing hard to get? And I'm not even replying to the people

that I think are fit. Maybe it's my own fault that I'm single. He put, your shoe collection is actually sexual. You put, I know right,

turns me on too. What? he put your shoe collection is actually sexual you put I know right turns me on too I started he put a bit annoying how sexy you are and you put a bit annoying how you're in Australia that I think is quite a good reply I like your replies they're short and sweet I'm gonna start with not giving much am I you're not giving much I'm not gonna do now and he actually voicemailed me last night because I thought you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna pop up you got a message here oh no from who a verified person sports person okay can you guess who I'm on about I'm just gonna scroll up the dm no oh you spoke quite a lot hey you do know who i'm on about i don't know who you're on about he's a driver okay yeah i do know who jesus you spoke loads yeah do you know what i actually met him through raya so maybe raya so i got accepted on raya about a month ago and i just think it's

a bit odd like okay so if you but i feel like we need to give some concept if you don't know what raya is not a lot of people know what it's a celebrity dating app like you apparently you have to be someone to be on the app yeah you have to like honestly it's almost like applying for a soho house membership all like being a very high up job or something like that like you have to know three people that are on the app you have to have recommendations yeah like you most people have like a two-year waiting list to get i was i applied three years ago and i didn't get accepted and then i randomly got a message and it said welcome to rio and i was like no fucking way then the cheeky shit's made you pay a hundred quid yeah by the way you're paying for it so i'm not deleting it yeah so i'm not deleting it no but guess who i found on it

though who sean mendez i've seen him on it yeah so basically if you screenshot you get kicked off the app i know you get one warning did you i got a warning because i was just going through and it come up and i was like oh my god i shot up in bed and i screenshot it and then i got the warning and it was like you're gonna you'll be kicked off that blah blah you know what most of the guys though they're on this app are either f1 drivers football as you can tell or footballers that's literally always the problem is I'm trying as much as I was speaking to this guy I am avoiding avoid I am avoiding because let me tell you something f1 drivers travel across the world so they are never loyal they've never heard of loyalty in their life

and footballers are almost just as bad but at least they're in the country okay footballers in the country but footballers cheat on their girlfriends yeah i mean it's like we're being stereotypical okay yeah we're being the thing is with footballers though it's like managers want them to have girlfriends like they want them to be in relationships whereas like f1 drive like drivers don't do they not okay they're just in a different country every other week right okay well i've seen you but the thing is with footballers we're saying it's stereotypical but i have actually seen firsthand on raya people message me who i know have a girlfriend and i'm like why would you do that it's just do you know what a footballer that you went

out with a few weeks ago messaged me on raya because i was with my girl he messaged me on raya oh my god you're talking about the same one because there was two uh yeah yeah yeah same one okay do you want to play a message see if you put the same thing no imagine to be fair he put southern girl heart to me so he definitely didn't put that to you i think he said something about me being a northern girl no i'm sure he said it no get it and then we were speaking we were speaking about going clubbing that night because he was out in Manchester that night I don't actually think I replied after though I actually only matched him I don't even fancy him I only matched him because of my friends I really hope we're all about the same person

okay we defo are yeah 100% right so I love that oh you've actually had a conversation okay right what was the starter i swear he's just put northern girl no no he didn't he put you he put you okay but you're okay oh that's a shit reply we implied that and then we were talking about going out that night but nothing ever okay i honestly thought if he's putting northern girl and he's copying and pasting just right location is he okay oh god i can't believe he's putting Northern Girl and he's copying and pasting and just writing different locations, is he okay? Oh God, I can't believe he's just both like that. That's awful.

He has a girlfriend, by the way, which I found out after. I didn't know that before. You're actually kidding. Had no idea before. Put it in the group chat and they were like, pretty sure.

So I did a bit of stalking and found out he was still with her. I was like, oh my God. So obviously ghosted, didn't reply. Good girl. I didn't really,

well, I replied once to him in the first place and I put best kind because can't lie, I think are and then he replies wait what did you reply you sure about that and i thought oh i'm not implying to you he's very blunt it's just and also shouldn't be a girlfriend yeah absolutely ghosting him no thank you because there is literally immediately when i find out a guy has a girlfriend even if i fancied them so much one i couldn't do it because i just obviously i just don't understand the cheat and I couldn't do it because I just obviously I just don't understand the cheat and I don't get it as a whole but what I don't understand as well is guys

that are like vivid like posting their girlfriend and so and still like we can see that you have a girlfriend bold move and also bold move and also as well it's like even if right I fancied you so much and I still wanted to message you if you're doing that to your girlfriend you're going to do exactly the same thing to every girl you're with I will stand by once a cheat or with a cheat a hundred percent jinx there we go tell me if I can cheat you don't so all the dating all the dates that you go on do you get nervous because I feel like you've been on so many now that you just can't. I don't go on a date every week. I just have been on a few dates.

Okay. Recently? I've been recently. I've had four dates in the last like six weeks. So not like loads, but I've been enjoying myself. You've just been enjoying yourself, so you should.

Have you ever left a date? Like, because I'm just debating to myself if i think i'd just leave if they were that rude i haven't like ups and like fully like that you've never like just made it through and gone oh well i've made an excuse and said this was actually fairly recently i made wait you're at the date can you give us the whole not the not the two dates that i've just been on with this other guy. It was another one. Okay. He just gave me the ick.

Right. I can't. It's so stupid and I feel like really, really silly basically. So I knew who he was before. I've been friends with him for years and he'd come to stay around my house. We'd just been out for a drink, whatever, and we'd been at an afters

and I basically have this teddy on my bed. Right? Oh God. This is why I mean it sounds so stupid and it's like a little gnarly teddy, but I'm really attached to this teddy. Can I just say something? If he starts like...

No, just hang on. Actually, just go. Just go. Right. I'm quite like soppy in the sense if I want a guy to like cuddle my teddy in bed with me. I'm sorry. I do.

I'm not like in a weird way, but like don't chuck it on the floor anyway. He gets it and like chucks it on the floor and was like, do you sleep with this? Okay, to be fair, right, I thought you was going to start saying these and start cuddling the teddy

and that was going to be the ick for me. No, no, no. I'm not all about that extreme either. So I feel like we've got different opinions here. But like, imagine you had to like, I can't explain it, but it just gave me the ick a bit.

I think it was just probably a bit too serious. What, was he just rude? It was rude. It was just the whole. It was just, why have you got this? Well, he then had a tattoo of his ex-girlfriend's name on his chest anyway oh no oh no and on his ankle so i was like

oh dear so that can't be changed into my name so he's staying at your house yeah so and it was i basically made up i had to leave really early the next morning i didn't so he threw the heavy off because he's about to get in bed and then all of a sudden late at night you've gone oh actually i've got to get up super early well pretty much i was setting my alarms and i was like i've got to get up so early i've got to go to london what are you saying this isn't gonna work well pretty much i was going to london but just not at the time that i said i was because i was like i don't even want you to say just get the whole thing gave me the ick the teddy bear can get over but the tattoo on the chest uh well he's messaged me since so no no probably not i don't think so how did guys just not get the hint I don't know that guys don't get

the hint that is the problem no they never get the hint so given the circumstance now are you nervous to go on first dates or are you excited like um I feel like a mix of both I mean to be honest babe I didn't really think I was going to be going on dates anytime soon. I didn't expect you to turn around and be like, okay, I'm now joining Hinge. We could do a double date. That could be fun. I am somebody though,

like as soon as somebody throws me under the bus, I would literally, that's it. Like I can't, I just can't pretend. I just can't do it. I think that's better to be that way. But anyways, I'm going to kind of give people a bit of a backstory I was going to say I do need to hear it again well I'm not going to go too too much into it guys because it's just long honestly and I has heard it about 100 times I'm not kidding I've lived it and heard it just to refresh my memory so basically long story short

is I've been seeing this guy for like such a long time really like him like really really like him and it does involve a lot of commitment I'm aware of that but I'm like getting to a point where I'm like I don't even know like where we stand with each other like I don't know what we are I kind of hate that this is a thing but it's still a thing that like there's so many different stages to me before you get into a relationship right yeah I know it sounds a bit cringy you're at the talking stage and you're at the seeing stage and we're like what stage are you at exactly right it's a bit cringe but you don't go from sleeping around being with whoever you want to the next day being in a relationship and suddenly never cut everyone like that's it you don't that's just not

if you want to be with that person you surely wouldn't want to entertain anybody else no exactly right so i'm like where am i actually at with this guy because I really like him at this point I don't even want to message other guys I don't even have interest in other guys like I couldn't think of anything worse because the only attention I want is his yeah so I'm thinking to myself like what do I do about this situation I'm just gonna front up ask him because also communication is key I think it should have come from him but the fact that you were bold enough to be like where are we so me and you both so i've been asking him for a long time and i'm getting the same answer which is basically no answer so anyway so you can see i'm stressed right now this is very this is very new guys this is very new um so anyways we

have this conversation he's stalling for a long time by the way this is such a typical girl thing did try and have the conversation a few days ago got nowhere he was busy totally understand that right so i have the conversation again last night anna's actually in the room but obviously he doesn't know that he doesn't know that anna's in the room i was on the end of the bed and I was texting Saf whilst we were talking, while she was talking, just going, you're doing good, babe. I kept saying, this is so good.

She was literally giving comments. She's like, why is he stalling? And then I'm laughing like, don't laugh. Don't say she's here. But then- It made me feel so much better she's there because he's making me think I'm out of my mind. Anyways, long story short is,

I think he is scared of commitment doesn't know what commitment is like I think you know if if you say to someone like oh I'm speaking or I'm sleeping with someone else like would you mind they're like no not at all then you don't like that person you definitely because you if you like someone enough you don't want them speaking no sleeping with anybody obviously you don't at all so like fair enough it's like you don't want to show you're trying to play a little bit cool but if someone's like straight up asking you because you've been speaking to them for however long and you're like no but like whatever we're not in a relationship i i just think we just have different opinions i just think it's a commitment you were speaking for a while a long time yeah by

that point it should one million percent be what we would call exclusive yeah so anyway so basically it's a lot of to to this guy in particular there's no such thing as like stages it's just like all or nothing approach i find that so weird like i just i don't know i don't get it i i don't get it i just think maybe he just wants to do him and just whatever. But now we're both single. Yeah. I think we should go on a double date. Do you know what's funny though? Hang on. This guy's scared about commitment and your guy that you were speaking to is.

Loved it too much. There was too much commitment going on. He didn't quite know how to handle it. So now we're both single. You need to tell your situation, by the way. I've just said mine. God, mine was a while ago now, actually. But I found out about the whole situation a couple of months after.

But there was just an overlap, is the word that we're using, of speaking to two people at the same time. Is this the word you use or he uses? No, he used the word overlap instead of cheating. Because we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, and neither were them, but we were exclusive. And, babe, you were were exclusive and so you were seeing each other but we were seeing each other for like seven months long time so it was a really long time um but it was an overlap as he would call it and there's literally no hard feelings at all I do not hold grudges um it says way more about you

than it does about me um but yeah that's basically what happened with me wow so now I'm single again love it here we go again my luck here we go again here we go again but at least we can bring everyone on our journey now that is starting right from the very beginning let's go okay speaking of bringing our audiences with us on our journey uh you guys actually slid into our dms this week as well uh someone has decided to share one of their experiences with us all right in the dms in the dms i was having a one night stand and the guy at the start of the night said how he had a dodgy fish and chips in the middle of the night he does the most feral fart i've ever smelled and thought he must be embarrassed so i just pretended i was still asleep oh do you know what that's saying all right would you do that oh i'd pretend i was in the seat i wouldn't be like this is gonna make it more

good for the both of you i'd 100 okay so i'm agreeing with the girl right now next thing i know he sat on my toilet watching tiktoks taking a shit thinking I didn't realize the worst thing is his brother literally lived above me so he could have taken his business there but safe to say I was scarred afterwards oh no wait so what is she asleep she's like pretending to be asleep while she's going for a shit and he's gone to the toilet while she was awake so heard the whole thing oh no and I just think that's a bit much awful for i don't think she specified if it was her oh it was one night stand oh you're kidding who's doing that on a one night stand i'm i'm embarrassed even to go to the toilet after for a one night stand like i wouldn't even want

to get let alone doing a shit and then make and the fart as well makes it so much worse because there was intention behind the fart. It's not like, oh, you've just farted in your sleep. To be fair, I'd just be sat there like giggling to myself thinking, I can't wait to put this in the group chat. I can't wait this has happened to me. That is so funny. Yeah, why would you not just go to his brothers?

It's as if he lived upstairs. Do you know what though? I do think like guys have a lot of guts. I don't think they have any shame really no I just don't think they do either like maybe we just need to be more carefree and not give a shit that's a bit too far for me personally could not do that on a one-night stand maybe four or five dates in we're a bit a little bit more open with each other but all right that's yeah that is far 100 so this one says about four years ago I was dating a boy for a couple of

months and we started to get intimate. So the salon opened and my ex got a blow dry from me. All is well, he's enjoying himself while I'm holding back tears because my gag reflex is extremely sensitive. And all of a sudden, he cries out. So I'm thinking, all right, nice girl, you're doing great. So he's clearly absolutely loving it until I look up and it's literal terror on his face by the way imagine the fear how you'd feel in that moment I'm thinking no fucking way did his mum come in and see us and thank god I was right instead he told me to get off because obviously his dick was burning oh no so obviously I get off in shock and I'm thinking fuck I can't believe this I don't know what's going on and we look down at

it and it's literally bleeding from a tiny area on the tip and I just start crying because I can't believe that he's hurt that I've hurt him he looks at me I look at him he's like okay don't worry it's probably just a small cut from the teeth. And he pauses and he's like, your teeth. It's not your teeth. It's your braces that have now got caught on me and must have cut me. And we just look at each other.

He's laughing, but also crying. Imagine. That sounds like a movie. That doesn't sound real. I know. I would be absolutely mortified i mean i don't know is he if if she's with this guy it's less embarrassing but if this is happening and you

haven't slept with this guy did she specify if she'd been with him i know he had she hadn't or if it was just like oh she was dating a boy for a couple of months okay that's not long i'm sorry you're still i don't think he's going back to that i'm curious imagine the braces she's now gonna be terrified i know she's never gonna want to do that again no braces and i find that the girls do it anyway like yes around the head and like if it's good or whatever so that's a hundred percent girl i know i actually feel bad don't let it knock your confidence no babe and you know what it's four years ago probably don't have braces anymore don't even need to worry about that anymore don't even need

to worry about that anymore but do people with braces have to worry about that because you know i was gonna get a brace at the back of my t i don't know do they have to worry is that like a thing you have to worry about i mean maybe i don't know i've never really thought about it to be honest i am like it makes sense well it would now wait now i know that story yeah it definitely makes sense god the poor girl okay right so right. So Anna, before we go, obviously I'm going to be a first timer of dating apps now. You are. And I thought there's going to be a lot of people

that maybe have been on dating apps, haven't worked out. You've had two really successful dates in the last week. I have. You've been on dating apps for a long time. Yeah. So like, is there, I know you went to like green and red flags, but is there like advice you're giving? Like for me tonight, tonight when I go make my account what are you telling me what I should

and shouldn't do okay well clearly you shouldn't take my advice of my prompts because my prompts are shit me telling you to put chocolate raisins and also do not start with hello you can I just say to me yeah the hello you we were scrapping but also it's so funny actually because I remember this guy he actually started in my dms once with two truths and one lie if I guess the lie if I guess the lie I get to take you out on a date so this was what he put and I was like okay this is a chat up line I can actually it's not really a chat up line is it no that I think's fun I was like yeah I'm responding to this yeah yeah so I'm saying to Anna like babe babe I need your help like I just can't think like I can't think of like good ones it's like late at night she's texting me like quickly think of some what did I say Anna says just say babe just say

I always get chocolate raisins from the pick and mix aisle at the cinema and I'm like babe I was thinking more down the line of I'm wearing red underwear right now okay this is why I'm like we just got two completely different concepts but you and me and chocolate raisins I keep coming back up you just need to teach me how to flirt quite clearly okay i'm just going to start doing your advice of just putting three words like just three line sentences okay really short and sweet that's what i'm going to do now but also guys if you're listening to this i feel like that's a good one two troops in one life that is such a good one i actually kind of want to use well i'm not citing anybody's dm forever again someone use that on me wait for

them somebody use that on anna yes please and also saying that yeah like i can flirt now on them but overall you're actually really great at talking to people there's a lot i can take from you and going on dates that's for sure yeah i think going on dates i think just ask a lot of questions i think from the get-go that my like best advice would be find out what their intentions are from the first date because you don't want to you know miscommunication like if you end up liking them more or they were never you know a lot of people are like oh the best relationships come from people saying I don't want a relationship right now yeah and then it ends up like forming into something I feel like if you set out looking for a relationship straight off the bat really because yeah that's not how mine worked really oh well actually yeah never

mind yeah okay well that can happen guys so it can happen yeah but I think just go into it very open-minded and make sure it's very clear what their intentions are and what your intentions are from yeah that would be my number that's good advice love that you gotta give me some advice about now how do I flirt um I think you just do not care not care so much I think just be a bit more carefree you always as well it's always replying to people's story yeah that's something I do I'd rather yeah if I'm messaging a guy first the way I'm doing it is replying to a story so I have like a reason to respond so one I don't have to think of something cringy two I'd have to put hello i'm gonna get that tattooed do you know what we should get it tattooed together for the podcast

hello you where do you want to get it maybe i'd actually get it you know what i'm like i'm so spontaneous i'd actually do it honestly next podcast you'll see hello you're tattooed on me somewhere anyways um yeah i just respond to people's stories so i just feel like it's an easy way to like... Start a conversation. I guess it's friendly that you could also turn flirty. Yeah, exactly. Depending on what the story is. Exactly.

Okay, I'm going to start doing... Well, actually, no, I'm not. I'm not signing anybody's DMs. But if I ever do again, that is what I will do. So obviously we have said our embarrassing stories, our horrific DM slides, mine in particular that I never want to speak about again. So I want to feel better about myself.

I want to hear from you guys. So please slide into our DMs and tell us some of your embarrassing stories. And please just don't make us feel alone on this situation because we both have had totally different experiences. So it'd be nice to hear other people's experiences. And if anyone can relate to us in any way, yeah, just DM us, let us know.

And also we have something so exciting because next week we are actually going to be joined with a very very special guest i'm so you don't want to miss out on this one you don't want to miss it there is and i do know i hate this saying but it's so true there is so much more tea to be spilled there is so much tea that we're gonna spill we've literally only just started if we don't see you in our dms we will see you next week sex lies and dm slides is a spotify original podcast produced by spirit studios with raymond tanner and kate willis as the producers and from spotify the executive producer is rihanna coleman