Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 11: Max Baledge talks getting catfished, sexual experimentation and Grindr: the gateway to open relationships?

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

We adore Max Balegde and he did not hold back in this episode, seriously. We talked about experimenting with food in the bedroom, open relationships and the strangest voice note his boyfriend sent him when they were in the talking stage. We honestly can't unhear some of these stories. Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original podcast. Produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tannor and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify the Executive Producer is Rhyanna Coleman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys, I am Anastasia Kingsnorth. And I'm Saffron Barker and welcome to Sex, Lies and DM Slides. Honestly, as per usual, no DM is off limits, no topic is off limits and fucking hell, today you guys are going to learn about my sex life, the weirdest positions I've been in, thanks to Max Belegde who is joining us. He has exposed the shit out of me, but we speak about everything. There's nothing we don't speak about. There's nothing we don't cover in this episode. So basically, just enjoy.

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Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Okay, so the first question we'd like to ask on the podcast is, what is your relationship status? I am happily in a relationship. I know, shocking. You wouldn't think it, would you? You wouldn't expect that.

Not many people feel as though I'm deserving of love but here i am we've been together for like a year and a half now officially and it's going well how did you meet on hinge um did you we did indeed love a bit of hinge did you go on loads of dates on hinge before you met him or was he like the only person that you well we met during lockdown so i went home because i lived in london and then they announced the christmas lockdown if you remember it was like very like sudden and it was like oh my god um so i ended up moving back home up north for like two months and what set hinge to london because i was like i know i'm coming back to london and proper on a boyfriend lonely as can i swear yeah lonely as fuck um so i was like and it worked we talked for like two months or before actually meeting person which kind of

gives me the i was gonna do you think that worked better? I, there's nobody that I've ever done that with before and it'd be successful. Like I've never, I've always had to meet someone like instantly. Like straight away to know. Because otherwise it's like,

you don't, the biggest fear is meeting someone and like having this idea that they're really good and then you get there in person. And it's also like little things like, you don't know what they smell like on text.

Exactly. You know what I mean? Little things like that. What they smell like. Well, yeah, no, that's a big thing for me. So true. So true.

Like what if you text him the whole time but then you meet him and he's like, he stinks. Yeah. Like, do you know what I mean? like i text exactly exactly well yeah no that's so true for me so true i love your texting the whole time but then you meet him and he oh he's that he stinks yeah i don't mean all i had bad breath or something like that 100 his texts weren't saying that no exactly and so you almost don't even properly know what they look like either because we'd never i didn't want to do like a facetime situation i wanted to just do text because i think you're not facetiming the whole no okay that's crazy to me that you're facetime because what about height did you not know his height i did not well i team pictures of him standing up oh yeah everyone lies about their height well i'd seen pictures of him standing up so so you next to other people and i got a ruler

out and on my phone it was like four inches um we're not talking about his height by the way not what's going on down here um if it were four inches that would be upsetting really wouldn't it yeah um but i don't know i the idea of facetiming someone because like as you know with like lockdown stuff doing zoom calls or anything yeah you can't actually build an like proper rapport with somebody that was a fancy word look at me all right english gcfc love you um and like you have to do the awkward pauses like you laugh and you talk over each other it's all good i was just like i don't i actually liked him so i was like i don't want to get the ick for him really badly so i was just like i'll just do as minimal messages as i can act really cool and then we'll meet when i finally come to london and everything will be

fine and it was um he did nearly give me the xr at one point and nearly i didn't message him for a full day because he sent me a voice yeah i know it's shocking like pause the cameras a full day cut the cameras um because he sent me a voice not of him doing a pig impression like oh no yes thank i'm so glad were you having you still to this day tell him oh i bring it up i'm like you don't realize how close we were to being nothing because he just i can't remember how it got brought up i was like watching this like tv show with like something wait i think there was a tv show at the time with like loads loads of celebrities who went to work on a farm or something. I have no idea,

but I was watching that and I was just talking about it. And he was like, Oh, I can do a pig impression. I was like, right. That's a bit weird to say like, why are you telling me this?

And then he sent a voice, bear in mind, I'd never heard his voice. Anything. Oh no. Yeah. And he sent a voice note of him going like, ring,

ring. Like not even like, not even like the normal one. Like it actually sounded like a pig. Like, and I, I just like threw my phone and I was like, ring, ring. Like not even like, not even like the normal one. Like it actually sounded like a pig. And I just like threw my phone and I was like, oh my God,

I can't do this. I can't do it. But I managed to look deep within, dig deep. So did you reply straight away or you just didn't reply for the whole day?

Oh, I didn't reply. I didn't reply. So bless him. I know he's very weird. But he must have thought. Imagine you put your pig on the table. You've laid it all out there.

Your great impression. And no response. No response response i was so close to just being like because i was actually dating another guy at the time like as in like we went on one lockdown walk together and then i kind of had to pick between like oh do i go down this route or do i go down this route but i really liked andrew my boyfriend i went down the pig I said I'm going rolling in the hair I'm doing it jumping in mucky puddles that sounds really weird um not that anybody watching and yeah now been together ever since so I you know I'm a really strong person actually because I managed to look to get through that yeah quite emotional I would like hold that against him I think oh I still do I bring it up now I bring it up when we meet new people i'm like do you realize he did a pig impression i set that as my ringtone every time he messaged me he did it knocks me so sick like oh it's so vile horrible behavior do you post him

on your tiktok so when we met i had around i think like 400 000 followers on tiktok which seems like a lot to everybody but at the time because it was locked down and I'd never done anything as far as like brand work, I'd never earned a single bit of money because it was locked down again. I'd never met anybody in the street or anything. So it didn't even feel like real life, to be honest with you. It just felt like this number that was constantly going up on my phone. Yeah. Like you don't realize it's people do you at first. Never, ever, ever. And, um, do you know the first time that somebody actually came up to me and i got recognized was on my first date with him so really yeah so i got the itch for myself no no no i kind of got the itch for myself a bit because someone came and asked him to take a

picture of me oh no and it was our first time ever meeting after we've been speaking for ages and i just didn't know how to handle it so I was like why I was like so confused and um I didn't post him until like I knew it was official yeah okay yeah but even then the second that I did post him say I think when by the time I posted him I probably had around like 600 700 000 followers and I'd started to get like a little bit recognized but like even then not not like anything yeah um and then we'd go out to clubs together when they started to open up and people would like try and get with me or try and get with him and they'll be like no no i've got a boyfriend they'd be like yeah we know like

you with like we know and they'd deliberately go out of their way to try and like break us up like it's crazy it was horrible this is what we were talking about the other day about like posting your relationship on social media and how it can affect it oh yeah massively like luckily when we met well kind of luckily and unluckily i i like social media was not my job so i didn't really take it seriously whereas if i met someone now i don't think i would post them especially not within the first year i it would depend if there was somebody else like in the industry then i guess like yeah they're already used to it like they yeah um i mean i'm acting like i'm literally the first year i it would depend if there was somebody else like in the industry then i guess like yeah they're already used to it like they yeah um i mean i'm acting like i'm literally

gonna break up with my boyfriend i love you so much i'm not breaking up with you love you um we want to get dogs together um but like if it did come to that um sorry oh my god really sad andrew if you're watching i promise i'm not going to break up with you. Okay. Don't care about the pig noise. I'm over it. But like, I don't think I would. I really don't think I would. Because even for us, luckily now we're a lot stronger. And I think in a way, because we first met as things started to get crazy for me.

So that made us stronger as well, because all the hardships that I went through of like, everyone saying you're horrible for the first time or like someone being rude to you in person for the first time and like not being able to go to this bar because people keep like grabbing you and stuff. I went through every single thing of it with him. Oh, that's actually really nice. It's so, it's so lovely. It's like, he's really like the only person who truly understands how it feels like to be me in a sense um other than obviously when you meet like people like you guys who have been doing it for ages um but i do think it's been really great but then it definitely has its downsides with people going out of the way to try and break you up yeah

the thing is like people will try and just get with him as well because he's your boyfriend oh yeah i mean oh that's max's boyfriend yeah so like that is why they would try and get it's just mental isn't it i've been sent videos of him like in a club and it's like i know like i literally met him like an hour after that like he just got there earlier with his friends but they were trying to insinuate he's out here without you just so in like doing this it's like 7 p.m like he's with his like best mates and i'm also coming they love to cause trouble yeah they love to cause drama it's awful and likewise people would um invent that like i was cheating on him because there was like grinder accounts that had like my face on it and i was like do you really think i'm hoping like portsmouth like hopping there every now and again cheating on

my boyfriend like with joe like no i'm not doing that like 37 year old mick like whipping his porker out i'm not gonna sacrifice my lovely relationship for a back alley shag like it's just people are just wild but they as you know they really just try to either i don't know whether it's attention seeking or they would actually get out something out of it if they knew that they ruined your relationship yeah it's crazy so how has it been for you since joining tiktok how's the whole journey being so like it's happened quite fast oh my god it's literally my entire life has just completely changed like i can't even tell you how different my life was before it I well what was you doing before you did TikTok so I worked in digital marketing and social media weirdly um you won't think I actually had a proper human job I know crazy um because I went to uni

for digital marketing and social media right and when I got TikTok, it was second year of uni. And I lived in house with all my mates. It was literally like the best time of my life. And then lockdown happened in March. And we all had to go home. And my mates were like, oh, get this app. I was like, I'm not getting that. I was like, my little sister was like, don't knock me sick.

That's well weird. I was like, I'm not gonna be able to lip sync it. I'm like, woo. And then I got it when everybody else did just like seeing people and then about four months after I downloaded it I posted for the first time and it got like a thousand likes and I was like I was like oh I can't go to the shop anymore sorry mom like you'll have we'll have to order sales delivery like I literally was because I'd had social media obviously all my life but only to like update my grandma on what I'm doing or so this this wasn't your Disney video was it because that was the first video I'd ever seen yeah that was recent

that was like more recent okay so that was like I've had TikTok's now been my job for like coming up to like two years a year and a half or something, which is mental. Like the fact that TikTok is my job, like, and if you saw my videos, like that shouldn't be a job. That's not, that's barely legal. It's dreadful. Um, but I'm just so grateful and it grows so fast. Like TikTok is just crazy. I didn't even want to download the app at first. And now here you are, even when I got contacted by these managements, I was like, I don't really want to do that. I was like, I'm so happy, like just work it. I was still looking for a summertime job before I went back to uni.

And then I was like, oh my God, no, this could actually be a job. And I was like, oh, I'll get a year out of it maximum. Like if I do, I'll be buzzing and then I'll go back to finish my uni degree. But by the time I went back to do third year of uni, it was just picking up so much and I was getting interviewing jobs in London. So I went to uni in Newcastle, so I had to travel down every week

and like stay in hotels and everything. So then I was just like, I may as well just drop out, see if this works out and have a good time and see what happens. And it, I mean, it's happened. Well, now you're fucking it up in Disneyland. Here we are.

Spending 500 pounds. Here we are. Dreadful time. So you guys, did you meet when you went to a Spotify event? Well, I've met you before. Before we first met at Jack Will's, I think. Yeah. Yeah, in Ibiza.

Yeah, oh, there we go. We just locked ourselves in. Oh, okay. So it was a different Ibiza trip that you guys met. Yes met yes but we didn't really I didn't really get to know you very well that was like very chaos vibes that trip didn't you guys hate each other when you met oh yeah I hate her so much no has said that she thought that I was rude yeah but the thing is but and I mean maybe I was maybe I slapped her across the face and I just don't know probably did but I have I have this thing and I don't know if you two will be able to relate because it's kind of like about

you guys I guess but when I meet people that I know are like big influencers and I've been like doing it for a long time because I see like I've been I've like seen you at events before I'm pretty sure I've seen you at an event or something and people like come over to you and like lick the, like they spread your cheeks wide open and go to town. Sorry, that was really graphic. But I just find that so bizarre and like cringy to watch because I've had people now, as soon as I've gained all these followers recently, now people I've met millions of times

and didn't give a shit about me suddenly want to come over and be my best mate. So I probably, when I met you the first time I probably had it in my head I don't want Anastasia to think that I'm like this weirdo like so I probably was just like hi nice to meet you and that's it and then Haz was like what you just want to find you don't want to look like a bag yeah because I see people all the time and for me as well this whole industry is just so new to me and just so bizarre and i think a lot of people force friendships and i i've found that quite difficult like where like i thought that i was becoming close to somebody

and then i found out that they've done something horrible so i don't really go out of my way now to try and force anything with anybody and like perfect example when we went on this spotify trip we happened to be sat next to each other on the plane we got to know each other so well to know each other so well and it's like that's that to me is a normal thing to happen like yeah if you meet a human being you don't go over to them and put in all your effort in the world to like become their best mate straight away i think it's more normal to just let things happen natural because it's not fake like yeah i've seen people come over to you like even on that trip and it's like oh my god and you can almost see in your face that you're like okay because i i get it though it's like it's not real they're just like oh my god she's got shit loads of followers subscribers and everything like let

me get let me get this picture and it's like i'm just i find that so cringy and it's just so off-putting to me i don't want anything to do with it so if i was rude soz anyways this week we are talking all things hookups and experimentation. Oh, Christ. Okay. I feel like this is a, this is a big topic. Yeah. Okay.

So while you've already said that you use, you've used dating apps. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm upset. What are you using dating apps for? Like a lot. Have you been using them for a long time? So I actually, so I had a girlfriend when I was 15 until i was like 17 and then when i broke up

shockingly i didn't realize i was gay i know can you believe it wow um and when i broke up with her i like one night found out about this app grinder because i was like oh my god i think i might be a flaming homosexual i'm not sure right okay and then you start to get some inkling then yeah oh yeah well then i full-blown knew i was like oh I was having sex with her for like a year and a half and I just thought sex was really boring but then like I look at men and I'm like oh my god wow that's insane right okay that sounded really weird I don't think that for every man I just want to clarify that again Andrew I love you I'm not breaking up with you um oh my god why is this podcast sending to me breaking up with my boyfriend i promise i'm not oh my god um but i would like get really drunk and then download grinder and then like meet so unsafe i'm probably like 17 years old in like a weird backwards town where like everyone's in

bread anyway um like meeting a random like man in like his car in the middle of the night like telling my mom i'm going to an after party. Like that is wild. That's so unsafe when you think about it. 17, so many things. I mean, you've seen that Jeffrey Dahmer shit. The amount of times in my life that I could have so easily

been in one of those situations is astounding. Awful. Wow. What a story to tell though. I know. I didn't even plan to say that story. I just thought of it at the top of my head. That's really upsetting really, isn't it? Sorry. if you're out there text me no please don't my god andrew he's not breaking up with you yeah i love you so much oh my god andrew oh my god i actually

do love him so much i'm sorry let's talk like experimenting in the bedroom oh my god do you like experimenting in the bedroom well well we we did that position, didn't we? We did in Ibiza, but we weren't going to tell anybody about that. Well, I'd never, what was it called? Wasn't it called like the inside out butterfly? Wasn't it? Or was it the reflective baboon? Was that what it is?

Was that what it was? I can't remember, but I've never, she's well flexible. You just put me in some way. You haven't told me that. But it was? I can't remember, but I've never, she's well flexible. You just put me in some way. You haven't told me that. But it was our secret policy. Well, you couldn't speak for a week after it, could you?

Because of, well, for obvious reasons. Right. Vocal cords just absolutely gone. It involves a lot of wailing, doesn't it? The position. Almost like a scream.

What was this called again? Making some weird peak noises whilst we were doing it. I can't remember, what did I just say? It's not as though I've just made up anything. Something about baboon.

Oh, the reflective baboon. Reflective bab reflective racket all right then i see you saffron i've heard that about you actually yeah the inside out butterfly i didn't i didn't know you could do that but first yeah it's magic it is quite horrifying really depends what you're into but here we are i like experimenting clearly you do too yeah i love it um not like are you right so in terms of like actual experimenting i guess yeah i mean again because i did a lot of things when i was younger and i was always drunk so that i could almost pretend the next day that it wasn't happening when i was in the closet i ended up doing like a lot of weird shit that i wouldn't have like that i had like there was one point where i'd had sex in a car more times than i'd had sex in a bed because like i was just meeting people in which is really awful by the

way like if you've ever had sex in a car have you yeah okay it's not good it's like have you ever had sex in a car yes it's like it's kind of fun like oh shall we but then it's like where the fuck are we gonna go yeah you can't yeah but it's just the like it's the idea of it it's the idea of it right it's so much better than it actually but when you're on your 75th car of the week it's kind of like jesus christ yeah yeah i'm a lewis hamilton here like what's going on like it's just not the one really i've never had sex with 75 people 76 no i'm joking um but yeah i don't know don't experiment and stuff i mean i'm always open to new things i think it's easier to experiment with someone when you're in a relationship with

yes when you're really close to them it's it's so much easier i think because you don't just want to go in with a randomer and they like tie me up punch me in the face and piss all over me has anybody ever said that to you oh my god oh my god yeah i've had some well big fat weirdos like massive yeah can i just ask as well when you was on grinder was you ever expected to be with anyone or was it just like in a relationship yeah no no no no no so i i like i used to heavily do it when um i like before i came out after i came out i didn't use it anywhere near as much uh but before I came out because there's a lot of like straight straight guys on there like yeah and I would I would sometimes like me 17 years old I would go around to a man's house like shag a 35 year old man my

penis inside of him and then leave and then he'd say oh thank god you just left my wife just came home that was my life for a period of time. So then I'd feel so awful. I'd wake up the next morning, but I would make sure that I always did it when I was like blackout drunk so that I would be able to convince myself that it didn't happen the next day.

Because I couldn't, after a while, I'd like, I'm like, I've wrecked so many families just by like, like, but, but, and I was like, this is awful. It's literally awful. That is actually not oh it's mental i know you hear these stories and you never think it actually happens oh my god yeah and you're here yeah oh you did live it did live it yeah now now like the idea of being with a

straight guy is like no like i think i i think a lot of gay people go through a thing where they find straight men attractive when they're younger because they maybe got picked on when they was in school for like maybe being gay or being gay and in a weird fucked up way you kind of want to like get payback on those straight looking guys that would pick on you so you're like oh i'll shag one of them and that'll like make me feel 10 times better but i got into like my very first relationship was with a boy that was straight at the time and it was horrible it was literally awful like we couldn't do anything public he eventually came out through being with me and then the next day and then he felt he posted it on facebook facebook vibes at the time

not facebook i know i know facebook official and um then he the next day he deleted it said that i was a weirdo who was obsessed with him and hacked his facebook told all of his friends um that i was a weirdo and like that he didn't even know who i was and then um told his parents who i'd met multiple times that they didn't want anything that he didn't want anything to do with me then they were really religious they thought i was a gay demon that had come to like yeah i went around to the house after this had all happened and they literally sat me down separate to him and they were were like, we just don't feel like, like your presence is welcome here. Like, we really think that you've come to like try and turn our son gay and like, that's not okay. And I was like, he contacted me.

Like, I, like, he's been gay for, he's probably gay now. Like, but he, like, there are some people that just will never find it in them to actually come out. And that is just so sad and crazy to me. I was about to say it's actually really sad oh my god yeah yeah but then it's also like it's a double-edged sword because you think it's really sad for them but then imagine if they have a full family with a woman who thinks that this man loves her have kids and everything oh yeah it's awful it's so awful on the woman as well it's like just by fear of people possibly rejecting you you're going to ruin so many people's lives around you.

For what? Like what do you gain out of that? You just feel miserable. So come out if you're watching and you're not sure. Question, has that guy come out now? I have no idea. He completely blocked me on everything. This was like five years ago, four years ago.

And I even made, I was like logged into a uh i made a account for like this thing that i was doing like age squad i can't remember what it was an instagram account and i even looked on there and he'd even found that and then blocked me on that like he'd this guy is like literally no form of contact yeah but but also on his side imagine if like you're this straight guy in the closet who just wants to say like that and then i become i'm your boyfriend and i become this like this gobby twat who's talking about fucking prostitutes and everything like that's probably his worst nightmare here i am cheers darling if you watch i know you watch i know you subscribe here we are darling cheers you know what though it's quite a

well-known thing there's a lot of straight men on grinder oh yeah because byron always says it's like obviously he's not on it anymore but he used to be and it's yeah it's crazy it's it's absolutely mental it's just kind of scary how the app works to be honest like you literally want it and if someone next door is on it will come up yeah that's oh right this is the one we see the location yeah you don't you don't see their exact location it says how many um meters they are away from you or kilometers so if we were on it right now we'd say saffron two meters away so i don't know if it's like that way that way but when you i remember back it because i've obviously not were on it right now, we'd say Saffron, two meters away. So I don't know if it's like that way, that way, but when you,

I remember back, because I've obviously not been on it for like two years now. And when, best delete it from my phone. No, I'm joking, Andrew. Oh my God. Sorry, Andrew.

I think the title of this podcast is I do still love you, Andrew. And like you would sometimes go on it and say like 10 meters away and it'd be like, hey, you're hot. And you're like, sat there like, oh my God, this is actually really terrifying. Are you like looking around the room?

I'd be like freaked out. The amount of times that I'd see someone that's looking at me. It's like, you know what a friend goes, I can see you. I'm like, sorry. Literally. No, sometimes when I go out

with some of my gay friends, they go on Grindr just to see like who is on Grindr around you. Oh yeah, sometimes if you're in a gay club, it's like for me as well yeah or a concert but but did you did you enjoy that though because to me that actually sounds kind of fun it's kind of really weird it's kind of fun until it gets because there's a lot of um issues in gay culture as well of like hypersexual sorry this was a big sentence

um hypersexualization did i get there did i do it there we go um because if you think about how it's not even how horny boys are versus girls because we both have the same like very similar amount of hormones but i think because it's so much more socially acceptable for men to be like the horny ones are like to talk about whereas if a girl's like oh yeah i actually enjoy sex it's like slag slag how dare you? So then imagine two men who their whole lives have been raised that it's okay for them to be as free about their sexuality and like be talking about it and be like active sexually.

Two men then doing it, then it's almost like society has trained them to just shag all the time, which that's what I found really, when I lived in Newcastle at university, I had this boyfriend whilst I was there and I really liked him when we first met. And a week into it, I was like, all right.

So, cause in Newcastle it became, cause it's like a smaller city. It became like every gay person had dated every single gay person ever. And I remember I just met this boy. I really liked him. And I said to him like, oh, like who do you know in Newcastle?

Like blah, blah, blah. And his ex-boyfriend was someone that I just slept with about a week ago. I really liked him. And I said to him like, oh, like, who do you know in Newcastle? Like, blah, blah, blah. And his ex-boyfriend was someone that I just slept with about a week ago. And his best friend, no, no, no, his ex-boyfriend, I just met in a bar a week ago and asked for his number, quite ballsy of me. I've never done that in my life. Yeah, go you.

I know, he worked behind the bar and I was literally like, you're fit, what's your number? Like, who the fuck do I think I am? Wish I had that confidence. I've never done it again. I don't know where it came from. And then his best friend I'd slept with like three days before. And I was like, so instantly, I really like you, but this is just, that's like a red flag,

like no go. Like, and luckily he was like, oh, I don't care. Like my ex was the exact same, but I was like, how sad is that? That like everyone has just slept with each other and you're supposed to be okay with it it is like that though because i know a lot of you know my friends they say all the time like it's such a big world but it's such a small world like everyone generally has slept oh my god the biggest red flag for me would be if i like met a boy on a dating app i would always ask for his instagram first and then if it said like he follows like

3 000 people and it's all like shirtless men and stuff i'll be like no really because what about they've got like loads of mutuals that you did like well i didn't really subscribe when i was younger and single i started to follow all these gay people and everything um but then it would just depress me because i would start to speak to somebody and we would have like 2 000s. And I was like, Jesus Christ, I'm not doing this. So I went through this whole like repenting stage of like getting rid of every single one of them unless I knew them and everything. And like when I first met my boyfriend now, we like, that was what was a good thing for me because we didn't really have that. And I was like, oh, he's actually not really into that. Because if you you think about it if you spent like your teenage years and like your young adult life as a gay person

constantly getting sexual gratification on Grindr like if you're horny for a second oh there you go I can go and meet someone in a toilet or something yeah then to try and untrain that once you're in a relationship people get addicted to it like even if they love somebody they still like gay relationships a lot of them are open relationships which i think can work for some people but for me i could just never i was gonna say how do you feel about oh my god i couldn't do it i know a few people that have been in open relationships and they're the first people to be like it's the best thing ever oh my god we're so strong we're strong and then it ends up going down in flames because ultimately i just can't understand how it works

like i'm happy for people that it has oh yeah i just can't if that's for you a lot of people use grinder to find a third person to bring into a relationship yes and it's just and i'm not being like oh it's disgusting or anything like i don't give a shit who you have sex with but for me if andrew said to me like oh i've been thinking about it lately, even like a threesome, I think I would be like, that to me is very worrying just because I know what gay culture is like. And especially like that whole Grindr culture. Like you say, at first glance, it's fun, it's wild, it's woo. But then I think it actually really fucks people up in the long run.

And it makes them incapable of having a proper relationship which is quite sad so from all the experimenting that you've kind of done on grinder have you discovered any kinks about yourself that you like well i'm glad that we're just like doing the easy breezy stuff here should you guys know this about each other because yeah i know yeah like conversation we were exploring really well as i was about to say you conversation. Well, we were exploring really, weren't we? As I was about to say, you guys have done some exploring. We were getting to know each other. Yeah. Well, I did not expect you to fit into that full body gimp suit, but you really wore it well.

Astonishing because you didn't breathe for two hours, did you? Honestly, you've never... Honestly, she came out, she was cold, she was blue, but she looked so hot. Wow. And then she couldn't talk for a week after couldn't talk for a week after well that's well i think we found out that it was more so yours in the end i started to feel a bit uncomfortable i went in open open-hearted you know um but when someone

has whipped you that many times yeah and calling you every name under the sun punched you in the face all dressed in a gimp suit. You know, like when she goes to bed now, like she says your name and she's like, Does she? Oh God.

That makes sense. Oh God. You put a hole in the wall, didn't you? The sex was just so good. And it wasn't even with her fist. It was with, I won't say,

I won't say. But that strap on, that was good. I liked that. I liked that. I liked that. The thing is... Why are you exposing all the things that I like to have in the bedroom?

The thing is, you wouldn't expect you to have a strong thrust. But you really do. You really, really do. But someone doesn't go to the gym as well. It's quite something. I don't know what I'm saying you do. It's about sleep.

I've heard. I felt like a human kebab. Well, I see it when she's sleeping now. The thing is, I think she just dreams about it every night I think it's actually called in the sex scene, it's called being skewered isn't it, where something's so big that it goes in you and comes out your mouth

isn't that right, that's what we did yeah yeah, yeah, like bypasses all the organs and then comes out the esophagus what did you and max do in ibiza all got skewers yeah sorry mom um can't talk um no but right okay um tell her she kings to be honest i don't know i'm quite like i'm not really one into like overly crazy things like oh fucking like like tie up, piss all over me and stuff.

Has anybody ever asked to tie you up? Oh my God. Someone has asked to tie me up and I was like, no, because then I was like, you're going to murder me. Someone once asked me to tie them up and I was literally like, okay, I did this not in scouts. And I was just like trying to like. What did you tie them up with?

Like rope. Oh, actual rope. Actual rope. And I was like, I don't know if this is for me. I thought you were like getting a dressing gown. No,

no, no. Just sell a tip. Just wrapped them in sell a tip. But I was like, I don't know if this is for me, but like, I've got friends who like,

I know this one guy, but he's not really my friend, but I met him. And he said that he will like go to people's house with a blindfold on, tied up already, knelt down at the doorstep. And then they'll open the door and they'll be like, right, come in. And they'll like pick him up, put him on the bed and then have their way with him. And I was like, that is, so he doesn't even know even know like and he only does it for like blank because on brandy

you can have like a blank profile with no pictures that's terrifying so he doesn't even know anything so what does he tell them I'm going to turn up at your house well they

he did it on my hands and knees he did it they're probably not expecting him to actually do that well no he did it because a guy asked him to do that once

and then did he enjoy it then he enjoyed it and then continued to do it with like others but that is my work could you imagine i mean i know you've done it but can you imagine being like i couldn't and i tell us about it yeah what's it like because you actually had that giant one didn't you that was like this constantly down your throat so you that was the i love how much you remember well it was your memory is fucking insane well i was journaling at the same time because i just thought i really don't want

to forget this moment i've got it actually i'll send it to you later you want to try it with andrew yeah of course yeah well i wanted to remember exactly what happened um and exactly your reaction um and yeah well when the defibrillator what's it called defibrillator we had to get that out because you were dead for a few hours weren't you but after that right as rain look at it now smashing this podcast yeah living life oh so i guess you can be into some weird shit but as long as you're safe with it yeah yeah and it's fine yeah as long as no one's getting her also question so we heard that you catfished oh oh yeah yeah yeah i've been catfished loads of times oh my god tell us a little bit i um oh right so this was when i was um out i

wasn't out of the closet yet so i was still doing my drunk like 17 year old go meet random men in a car at night that's really safe don't do it um and i was speaking to this guy got to the car opened it and i was like you are 100 like it was like this quite large man who i opened it and the car had like food all over and it smelled and I was like oh yeah I know and he literally smelled and then he like looked at me as and I like looked at him thank god because sometimes if you get into someone's car you just like kind of get in like with your head and then you like look and I was like thank fuck I didn't do that I looked in first and then went to sit in and no, I didn't know.

I didn't go to sit in. What am I about? Jesus Christ. No, I looked at him and I was like, you're not the person that I have been speaking to. And he was like, just get in, get in now. And I was like, no, because I was drunk. I started laughing. I was like, no, why would I? I can see you in front of me. I'm not going to get in like to have a chat about how you've catfished me. Like no. And he was like, get the fuck in. He was like, get in now. And I was like, no. So I just shut the door and then ran off. But I was like, oh my God, like, again,

I could have been killed so many times, guys. Yeah, like, but surely he knows when you're going to meet him that he looks like a compelling person. But he had like a hat on and everything. So I think he was relying on me first getting into the car and then probably would have locked the doors and done whatever. Right, that is, that's horrendous. Oh yeah i'm shocked i'm still alive and again and again you stayed on going down you carried on meeting people in their cars oh my god so stupid

honestly but i know loads people like when i speak to people especially people from small towns who didn't grow up like in a very like open place it is very common because like what are you going to do i was never going to publicly like date someone from my school or date somebody that might have a clue who i am like i even stayed away from people near my own age purely because they might have some connection as to who i am when i was more attracted to people my own age yeah but i didn't that was so scared like literally the most terrifying thing in the world for me and also i guess from that guy's point of view, who was catfishing you,

he probably looked at you and thought, oh, he's young. Do you know what I mean? He's young, he's naive. Like, do you know what I mean? It doesn't matter that I catfished him, because I know he'll get in the car. Oh, definitely. And I used to look like,

I didn't properly hit puberty until I was like 18, 19 either. So I used to look like really young, like so mad that I was this fucking like, I basically had like a bob length hair as mad that i was this fucking like i basically had like a bob length hair as well i'm there fucking like shagging these like men that have wives in their car like such a weird life but i mean i'm in a happy relationship now after decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator,

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Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. i mean judging from all this this makes me want to read your dms can i read your dms oh my god my instagram dms yeah do you still get like wild dms even though everyone knows you're in a relationship when me and andrew first started speaking it actually picked up like because again people were like wanting to ruin it and everything okay um but now honestly like very few and far between people are actually trying to flirt with me because i think i've made it so like obvious that i don't want anything to do with that all right okay do you do you want to call through mate right wait would you yeah you read the first one okay oh god literally the top one yeah read the first i'm quite i didn't know this was happening i'm

quite nervous oh my god who's it for who is it wait is this uh the you two i don't know who is it you two going again okay um it's a message to you oh my god no i didn't realize this why would you not text me it knowing that she's gonna read the end okay so this you've sent to this girl called anastasia oh Oh, right, okay. This is the girl you did the butterfly with. Oh, my God. My God, what? And it says...

I don't even remember this text. So this is a response to can't wait to record with you next week. Yeah. I'm sorry I'm putting you on the spot like this. Oh, man. I didn't know this was happening. I can't wait to bend you over the entire set and absolutely ruin you when everyone leaves.

Can we do it extra can we do it extra hard in suffering seat again like we did last week i couldn't believe where you oh my fucking i gotta finish it i couldn't believe where you put her podcast mic too i didn't realize that was humanly possible I couldn't believe where you put her podcast mic too. I didn't realize that was humanly possible. I didn't know this was, I'm so embarrassed. Oh my God.

Anna, and your response? Well, you've shocked me. If you texted me, then I could. You responded saying, I just want to do the butterfly. Oh my gosh, you just sent a butterfly emoji. You just get me so excited. Thank butterfly. Oh my gosh. You just sent a butterfly emoji. You just get me so excited. Thank you. It's ridiculous.

I can't even look at you. I'm getting tired. I have to have that effect. Oh my God. You too. Stop it. Stop it. Jesus Christ.

So is this an open relationship? Yes. Yes. Open as in she's constantly open and ready for me at any point. Relationship. And any of the set, apparently. Yeah, yeah. We don't really speak, do we?

No, we more just have an agreement. It's more like non-verbal communication, like grunting. Yeah. Kind of animalistic, really. Pig noises. Yeah, pig noises. That was what first drew me to you, actually.

Was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and Andrew are going to get dogs. Why don't you get little pigs? Oh, don't. Don't you? Andrew, if you're watching, that's not happening. Oh, no, little pig lairs. Noxie, if you love that, I'll be sick. You can raise it. I don't want it. I don't you get little pigs? Oh, don't. Andrew, if you're watching, that's not happening. Oh, no, little pig layers.

Noxie, if you love that, I'll be sick. You can raise it. I don't want it. I don't want it. Right, Anna, you be one of the next ones. Oh, yeah. I think the top four. I don't trust you with the phone.

Oh, my God. You've got a message. What is it? You've messaged Sean Paul. Sean Paul? So, you know, can I just quickly say something? Normally, when we go through people's dms it's like people that have dm them not you dming people well people don't often reply to me people don't

often um send me anything it's more of a one-way thing you messaged sean paul saying love the new track bro anastasia's vocals are unreal literally changed my life that track bro thank you for your artistry oh i don't remember that oh god that's that's weird that yeah i thought you're really obsessive hadn't you yeah i don't know what it is maybe what's going on between you and george clark oh why is it oh i don't know why what's happened well it started off really nice yeah you just said hope you had the best day oh right yeah and then he put was actually such good fun really enjoyed it oh oh yeah but then you put i can't believe how good last night was but in all honesty it's a lot smaller than i thought and did you have some sort

of perfume mom was almost gravy like really liked that beefy oh i don't i don't remember sending that so i wrote that yeah but he's not replied to you oh god see there's a common theme isn't there yeah oh god is it are you doing that thing where you get really drunk again you'd like i think so yeah i think that must be it um i was absolutely twatted before filming this right um yeah i'm heavily hungover right now because you messaged boris johnson saying babe don't come back honestly not worth it get your hair cut and stay at home what really oh god i just didn't know i didn't know this was happening today right thank you very much i didn't i didn't prepare for this i'm very upset to be honest with you it scares me what you do in your like quiet time I didn't know this was happening today. Right. Thank you very much. I didn't prepare for this.

I'm very upset, to be honest with you. It scares me what you do in your quiet time. Me too. It really does. At what point did you think, oh, I'm going to tell him he smells like, was it beef gravy? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I don't know if you've met George, haven't you? Yeah. It is. It's just a pungent kind of. It's embarrassing. It is. But I didn't want to tell him when i'm no it is beef gravy yeah gravy um because he likes the perfume but he likes it um and the

weird thing is he actually makes someone spray the perfume into their mouth and then spit it on him which i've never what a weird kink i've never known that kink here we are full circle moment everybody there we go it's mental it really is wow yeah sorry but i would have prepared if i knew that you were going to be looking through my dms i had no idea i would have deleted them jesus christ sorry everyone well speaking of dms we've um got some fun dms oh from you guys this week oh good Anna this one sounds like you with the podcast mic what a vibrator got stuck in this boy's bum and he had to poo it out what like poo it out as in like it fully got engulfed and then it came out

yeah it must have. Jinx. Jinx again. Oh, my God. What? Maybe it was, like, one of those, like, bullet vibrators, you know, the really small ones. Yeah, because I think if something of, like, a magnitude got stuck inside you, I think you'd probably go to hospital. Yeah, you'd have to.

But then imagine that hospital trip. How embarrassing. Saying hi. Oh, my God, yeah. How did you come when it when it got stuck yeah imagine actually like

there's still a bit of poo imagine that that's nice oh my god that's my ultimate nightmare and if it never got stuck inside me I'd just accept that that's now part of my body

well you know what sometimes condoms get lost in like a girl's vagina oh yeah that's quite a common thing it can actually it can actually kill you. What? Sorry to get deep.

It's actually killed someone before. Really? Why? I can't remember why. Oh my God. Go over and Google it. Oh my God. I just can't remember why,

but it actually has killed someone before. Jesus Christ. God, that's awful. Is it like when you get, because you can get a really ill kind if you leave a tampon in. Yeah, because toxic shocks. Oh yeah, yeah, that too.

So maybe it's something really similar. Oh my God. Crazy, isn't it? Yeah. Next one.. Yeah, because, yeah. Toxic shocks. Oh, yeah, yeah, that too. Yeah, maybe it's something really similar. Oh, my God. Crazy, isn't it? Yeah. Next one. Be safe out there, guys. Yeah, please. Well, mind you,

that is everyone being safe. So, yeah, just be extra safe. It is what it is. Okay, so you're going to have to really follow me. Okay, I'm following. I'm in the journey. Okay, but set the scene

like really. Yeah, give it some. Okay. Yeah. So I was seeing this guy around a year ago who I met on a night out we got on really well

and had a really good sex it was crazy we started seeing each other every day even though we lived an hour apart so it went from zero to a hundred

real quick anyway everything was great and he seemed so normal until this one night we went on a night out and things took a turn in the bedroom

sounds like he was into some very strange kinks which for some reason i ended up going along with in the moment because i think i was so in shock to respond accordingly we were having sex on his bathroom floor and were drunk and i felt sick and suddenly he wanted to throw up no no hang on he wanted me to throw up all over myself when i said i was going to because it would turn him on and then it gets worse he then wanted to do doggy and i was bent over the toilet i was willing to see past the last strange thing and blame it on the alcohol but next thing you know he wants to fuck me with my head down the toilet so basically he just wants her to be out of it which is gross yeah that's really like intense that means her head down the toilet

is he into like disease or is he like pure like drunk sickness because that's really like intense that means her head down the toilet is he into like disease or is he like pure like drunk sickness because that's a problem like that is fucking vile sorry if a boy tried to shove my head if you tried to shove my head down the toilet i know are you joking we only do the sink don't we yeah because that's higher but the toilet like yeah yeah fuck that oh my god what a wild experience imagine being sitting in that moment your reaction if someone was like you're having sex with someone and like you're gonna be sick your reaction like oh my god like let's sort this out like oh my god yeah not like fucking go on there yeah that is that is that's disgusting that is actually like you were saying with the

whole like i get the piss yeah i get the pissing more than the sick yeah i get also some people are into shit like into feces and they want to be shit on. They like being shit on their chest. They want to eat shit. I once saw this Grindr account and it was like human toilet. And it was like, come to me. There was this guy in my old town who would message me all the time. And he was like, I want you to shit in your underwear and put it in a Tupperware and leave it on the side of like a street.

And I'll come and collect it and like leave 50 quid there. And after I'd made like 200 quid from it, I was like, this is too much. No, I'm joking. No, but this is real. But then I once found a boy. I once, when I'd come out and everything, I started speaking to a boy that was my age from where I'm from. And he was like, yeah, like I once did this thing for like a hundred quid. I was like, he gave you a hundred. He was only offering a hundred quid. I was like, he gave you a hundred,

he was only offering me 50 quid. What was wrong with my shit? Yeah. I obviously didn't. You just couldn't bring yourself to do that. Surely. No,

no, no, no. Shit on your, would you physically like wear the underwear and then shit or would you take it off

and shit on it? But even then the process of handling your own feces and putting it into a box then driving to a location. In a little tupperware. Oh my God. No, God no. People are into some weird shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally. of handling your own feces and putting it into a box then driving to a location oh my god no god no people are into some weird shit yeah yeah literally and i just think what was he doing

with that literally but was he like gobbling it up when he got it was he just playing with it was he yeah like would it makes me feel sick it actually makes me feel sick yeah yeah should we move on yeah yeah please okay i'm gonna read the last one i'm upset sorry i thought what if it was like diarrhea oh Yeah, yeah, that's it. Should we move on? Yeah, yeah, please. Okay, right, I'm going to read the last one. I'm upset. Sorry, I had a thought. What if it was like diarrhea? I felt like diarrhea in the Tupperware. Sorry, I was just thinking about it.

No one needed that information. I was just thinking about it. Because now we all have that in mind. Okay, that was a step too far. Tupperware shit. Anyway, moving on. Oh, God. Put it in the microwave. Oh, bubbles and it gets warm.

Imagine the sweat. Warmed up for dinner. Imagine you leaving. Oh, my God. Leftovers. Oh, I'm sick. Good you leaving. Oh my God. Leftovers. Oh, I'm sick. Good, actually, it does make me feel a bit sick.

Why do I feel like you guys do this on XIBIT? I know. Oh my God. I'm so upset. But also, who knows? Who knows?

Okay, right. The last one says, I met up with my friend with benefits who said he wanted to experiment with whipped cream but i wasn't sure so i turned up and things got going but then i had to watch him run naked to the fridge to go and grab the whipped cream which for some reason it really gave me the year and since then i haven't done much more experimenting i mean that's fair enough

imagine i can see how that would give her the ick the awkward like I don't think the whipped cream is that much experiment yeah I know I don't think that's anything I would reach out as experimenting have you two ever done that

whipped cream like any food at all in the bedroom I've done whipped cream you've done whipped cream where did you put it is that too much like did someone

lick it off you or did you lick it off somebody oh god oh my god you don't have to answer it. You don't know. Every time she gets asked a question, her answer is, oh, God. You can't, guys.

I'm just getting yeast infection vibes. That doesn't seem safe. Well, what do you think would be weirder? Me licking it off a guy or a guy licking it off me? I'm not going to tell you because then you'll just say the opposite. No, no, no. I will actually be honest. Okay, then.

I think it would be better. I mean, to be honest, if you're into whipped cream i don't think it's weird i don't really i don't think it's that bad okay because i think we both did it well we both did it on each other i think that's so if you're i think i just did it as one of those things you have to try yeah experimenting did you like it um did he run naked to the fridge to go and get it naked to the already already had the whipped cream inside right you know okay know? Okay, there you go. Yeah, it was nice and prepared. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So. I think with like food in the bedroom for some, in my opinion, it would just like get in the way. Are we going to lick chocolate off each other? Then I've got like chocolate on my face. Like I don't really want to be eating whilst I'm shagging someone.

Some people use like cucumbers as like dildos, don't they? Oh. I haven't. But sounds like you're talking from experience. But why would you use that though? Because like, surely that's just not going to be as good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like it's adding anything. And a cucumber can have like rigid edges along it sometimes. Unless you keep it in the, what's it called? Yeah. That's basically like a condom,

isn't it really? Condom for the cucumber. There you go. Yeah, because wasn't it when Fifty Shades of Grey came out, they would afterwards clean the theatres and there were lots of cucumbers in there. No way.

Yeah, yeah, I remember. No, you're joking. I've not made that up. You are actually joking. Google it. I swear it was like in cinemas in America, they like cleared like a record amount of cucumbers like from the thing.

Might have made that up, but I'm pretty sure I haven't. Wow. So cucumber's a really normal thing apparently. I mean, clearly. Maybe in a cinema. If you're on thing apparently I mean clearly maybe in a cinema if you're on the go yeah maybe in a cinema

because if they check your bag and you've got to deal with all that it's embarrassing but if you've got a cucumber you could just be a cucumber muncher oh yeah because they used to check bags didn't they so maybe

you might just be a cucumber muncher who likes to have a good nibble whilst you watch I don't know never done it myself some people are into some wild stuff wild stuff it is wild

oh my god anyway thank you so much for coming on and exposing me I just love this episode oh yeah of anyway thank you so much for coming on and exposing me I just love this episode oh yeah of course thank you so much you're both

just such legends YouTube legends but we have about to say hang on we do always end with one piece of advice I give advice to you

you give advice to me what to everyone listening at home after all of everything we've spoken about today hookups experimentation all that

is there any piece of advice you'd give um if you're gonna use a cucumber in the cinema don't leave it there afterwards take it home with you because if you got exposed for that i mean how did it feel it felt embarrassed yeah you're embarrassed walking out i was you had to pay off the press didn't you so that they didn't release it. Cost you and your family millions. But yeah, I mean, you could have been known as Cucumber Girl. To be fair, you've dodged a bullet there. Worth it in the end. Yeah, completely worth it.

I thought he was going to say don't get in car of strangers. I was going to say. That probably works better. B, I think if there's any younger people watching, I think, you know, it's very difficult coming out and everything like that but imagine dying that's more difficult and it doesn't sound fun i'd rather have an awkward conversation with my grandma where like every christmas she's like have you got a girlfriend yet then die and be like chopped up into a million pieces. Again, unless you're into that. Here she is.

Oh my God. I'm upset. So basically stay safe out there. Stay safe guys. Please do. Please do. Your health is important and your wellness. Well, thank you for that.

Thank you. Thank you. Honestly. I'm so glad that I got to. I've learned so much today. Yeah. Especially about the butterfly. So much. There we go.

So excited to try the butterfly it's great it is great yeah thank you for having me Sex Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify original podcast produced by Spirit Studios

with Raymond Tanner and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify the executive producer is Rhianna Coleman