Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 116. What Classifies As Cheating?!

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

For today's bonus, we are deep diving into what we believe classifies as cheating and what we think is acceptable behaviour! Is it cheating if he likes another girls instagram photo? Watches porn every night? What if he offers to walk a girl home and gives her his jacket to keep her warm? We discuss it all! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit connectsontario.ca. Let's go hi guys welcome back to sex lies and dm slides it's thursday which means we are back for another bonus episode so on today's episode actually no before we dive into today's episode i would just like to ask you we put basically a petition out i actually do know the answer to this, but I feel like everybody needs an update. Did you find Katie? So, first of all, guys, thank you all so much for the help. I didn't quite realise

it was going to blow up as much as it did. Like, when I was telling the story, I was like... I just knew that our viewers would help us find her. Yeah, like, I knew it was crazy, but I didn't realise it was maybe as crazy as it actually was. And the amount of people that reached out to me was a bit wild so thank you so much um so long story short I haven't spoken to Katie directly but I know what happened so I got like clarity on the situation which I can't really share because it's a lot different to what I thought had maybe happened

but I know that she's slaying she's alive she's well she's all good um and it's actually really weirdly reconnected me with another friend who I hadn't spoken to in years from school so yeah which is nice so maybe it was meant to happen for a reason um and like at least you know as well you didn't do anything wrong so that would have been something that I would have been overthinking yeah a long time I knew that I didn't do anything wrong somebody actually reached out to me and they were like I ended up going to college with her and she would speak about you all the time and say how lovely you were so I was like oh my god okay like I knew like I knew I hadn't done anything wrong but that was like confirmation that it wasn't something that had happened like regarding me so yeah guys we we technically half found Katie so thank you all so much for the help on the petition um we did it

so glad though because I'm glad you just know what happened like it was not to do with you you know she's well and healthy and, you know, all of that stuff. The power of our audience is crazy, guys. Actually crazy. Very, very grateful, you guys. Do you know what? If I ever want to stalk a boy, I might just start putting it on the podcast.

Oh, my God. You know, after we get, like, our friends to be detectives. If we put it out onto the podcast, we'd find out fucking everything. Right. This could genuinely be a new idea for a podcast because before we get into this quickly there's a facebook page my friend was telling me about it earlier and you basically put on this facebook page like the boy that you're speaking to a picture of him is hinge profile and you say ladies does anybody

know who this is and my friend put my friend's ex-boyfriend ended up on there and all the comments were like, oh, he's not mine, but he was speaking to my sister. Oh, this guy was in this person. And like you basically find out if like he's for you or not, but it's a massive Facebook group.

Like it's a huge thing that people put there, like guys that they're speaking to on to see if they're speaking to anybody else. So genuinely, it's not a bad idea for a podcast that is crazy yeah if anybody's down to like you know i mean obviously it's normally very anonymous we'd have to you know say who they are but it's a good idea crazy yeah yeah maybe let's go Upper Canada College inspires boys from senior kindergarten to year 12 to find their passions and realize their potential. An IB World School, UCC offers a supportive environment,

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You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. Today's episode is probably the one I, we should have done a main episode on this because I have a very, very strong opinion when it comes to this. I've had a couple of relationships now and I know what I want and I know what I class as cheating and what I don't class as cheating. Yes, you do.

Today's episode, we're diving into what we consider is cheating, which I think is actually different for everybody. So like this can be from like liking a bikini photo to sleeping with somebody. We're going to ask ourselves where we think we draw the line. So let's get into it.

Okay. And I feel like just straight up say your answer well I feel like maybe we could disagree I don't know like normally we have the same opinions yeah but let's but also I try and see things from a guy's perspective too so let's try and do both okay so is it cheating if they like a girl's instagram story i'm talking like the little heart in the c now this is sneaky because if they like the instagram story like it's not coming up so you can see in a girl's likes like they're doing that i personally i wouldn't say it's like cheating but i say it's giving somebody else attention which you don't need to give them attention but then is it

oh I don't know what do you think? it's technically not cheating but to me cheating is like to me entertaining somebody else is cheating like why do you feel the need to entertain someone else

it just doesn't make any sense to me also yeah like you said liking a story is fucking weird because you know that your girlfriend can't see it or your boyfriend can't see it. So you know that they can't see it, but you still want to give them some attention. Like, why? Why do you want to entertain them?

And to me, like, it starts off by liking the stories and you start DMing them. Like, it's just bullshit. If you're liking a story, like, you kind of want to speak to that person like you're hoping that they'll respond to their attention yeah that's really what it is so i wouldn't say that that action is necessarily like cheating oh my god but it's definitely like towards the entertaining side yeah of things loyal

yeah like if my boyfriend was doing that i'd be like why are you doing that yeah okay they watch porn it's not cheating deep heart think about this it's not cheating but so are you okay with it i just prefer you to come to me like really okay why what do you think if they're watching porn every night I just prefer you to come to me. Really? Okay. Why? What do you think? If they're watching porn every night, that's a no-go.

Every night I'd be like, well, we have a problem then because I'm here. Okay. What if it's like three times, they've told you three times a week? Like when they're not with you. See, it's really hard because I was obviously seeing that guy with a porn addiction.

So I feel like I- Fuck you was. So i feel like i obviously have a bit of like maybe a trigger towards that like now i'd be like oh my god like i don't know because i was watching bad boyfriends and one of the girls on there was saying she's so fine watch that by the way it's really good she's so fine with her boyfriend watching porn but then maybe because of what's happened to me it would trigger me a bit well what would you do you think watching porn is cheating because i don't think it's cheating i just don't want it i don't like like yeah like to me it doesn't bother me at all i'm like whatever like whatever i think like if they were laying in bed next to you watching porn would you be annoyed oh yeah that's fucking weird that's really fucking weird like obviously not yeah if we're not together yeah it's a weird one but like no like i just i just think it's normal for a guy so like whatever

like i'm just not that it's not cheating we can clarify that it's not cheating yeah i definitely don't think it's cheating at all i think if i was with somebody had a porn i'm not being with somebody that's a porn addiction no it doesn't work let me tell you that i don't know does not work so like did he try and watch porn with you no he got to the point where he actually couldn't have sex because he was so addicted to watching porn and sex wasn't living up in real life what it was in porn i actually never slept with him because that's wild yeah it was wild it was wild honestly when i when he told me this i have never been so gobsmacked in my life like it was just crazy but anyway actually crazy the next one okay they like another girl's bikini photo yeah it's gm you don't need to be about

this you don't need to be liking other girls bikini photos you don't need to be liking other girls photos you just know you just don't need to do an end of it i think it's different if you're friends with them yes that's what i'm gonna say like any of your friends post like whatever like not like you know they're your friends but like to me again it goes down to like entertaining someone like yeah because and the reason is is like I never used to look at it like this but as I've got older like everyone I've ended up being with I've met online and like how do you end up meeting them you start by liking their Instagram pictures then you're DMing them then you're like FaceTiming them and then you're seeing

them right like it always starts from likes like it does and even if you don't mean anything by it like that person on the other end will be like oh they've liked my photo like it's just to me and it's just like to me it's honestly like going up to somebody and saying like you think they're fit like nowadays like I know it like sounds ridiculous and I remember having this conversation Like, to me, it's honestly like going up to somebody and saying like, you think they're fit. Like nowadays, like I know it like sounds ridiculous. And I remember having this conversation with my parents. They just didn't get it. They were like, they've literally liked to post.

And I'm like, yeah, but it was different in your day and age because like you'd never meet people online. Whereas everyone meets people online nowadays. So that's literally how you flirt. Like it literally is. Like it sounds ridiculous. And even when I say out loud, I'm a bit like, Safi, you sound ridiculous.

At the same time, it's like, no. Like you just don't. I think it's not like, it's not like they've gone outright and directly cheated, but they've implied that they're interested. They've implied that they're showing interest

somewhere else. And to me, that's disrespectful. Yeah. And I just think it's just embarrassing. Yeah, I wouldn't. Like somebody, like my photo that had a girlfriend, I think, why the heck do they like my photo? Me too.

If I went down my likes and someone with a girlfriend liked my bikini photos, I'd be like, oh my God, what a sleaze. Yeah, like just so weird. Yeah. And also just like even following just like random girls. Like what are you doing? You don't need to do that somebody that's like that like i'm just not if i was with someone and they're following like i'm not a crazy girl

who's gonna watch your follow count i'm not gonna do that because we know it's a downward spiral but if i was with somebody and their following was just all girls constantly going up all girls no babe like no that that's not happening it's just not it because i wouldn't follow guys i probably make out i probably sound like i'm being a fucking psycho but it's not even it's not that like i'm checking but it's just no but you know that you wouldn't you wouldn't sit there and like loads of guys photos or follow loads of guys no so it works the same way and same way like yeah like if you were doing also i'm not that bothered like but i think like with us like we're not just following random guys because

we're just not that bothered like we're just like content i just think it's fucking yeah guys follow so many random girls i'm just like oh i don't i don't know it's just to me it's just so icky it's just so icky in every way it's like but also I've been like I don't even want to tell a guy to unfollow someone like if they're not wanting to do that anyways and don't say anything wrong with it then we're also just not gonna work they should just know that out of respect yeah they should just unfollow and I think anyone that's mature would like understand like even though like when you listen to ourself, it sounds ridiculous, but like that is, that's just a problem with like,

like, and just data nowadays. Yeah. I just think, yeah, it's just a no from me. It's an absolute big fat no. Let's go.

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have ever happened to me before these are all very hypothetical yeah that's funny that like none of these have happened to you yeah apart from like the porn one none of these have happened so like to me it wouldn't bother me like it really wouldn't bother me the me them following their ex at all like if they ended like on good terms and whatever but the only time it'd bother me is if like i knew that their ex still really wanted to be with them okay yeah so it depends where the intentions are at yeah like i think that's like the only time it would annoy me because i'd be like why are you following her because she clearly just wants to be with you and like it's just like i don't know like if she was like always trying to message him or apply to his

stories i just think that's just really weird yeah okay yeah that's probably the only time my kid bothered me but like it literally like i still i follow my ex on instagram yeah i do as well because my ex yeah because we ended on nice terms so I just never felt the need to unfollow yeah so like if it bothered my boyfriend and then I don't follow him because I'm not bothered about it like if somebody was like also bothered about it like I'd just be like it's fine I'll just unfollow them yeah if they said to me like it's a problem I'd be like yeah of course I have no problem with unfollowing them like it doesn't it doesn't really matter yeah like and that's how i feel like i don't really care if you follow your ex

so it doesn't really bother me at all they flirt with other people it's cheating well like it depends like if you're like out here like compliment like i think like banter flirting can still be so innocent it also like sometimes people's personalities are really flirty like that is just how they are yeah like if my boyfriend's out here like throwing dishing out compliments to random girls probably not if i was on a night out and my boyfriend was like talking to loads of girls and like it was coming across flirty i would be a bit like yeah it's embarrassing yeah it's embarrassing for you like you don't want that and it's embarrassing for him as well yeah they know he's in a relationship so what are you doing

um they walk or drive a girl home when it's dark um if they called if they knew them then no or no do you know what like depending on the on the circumstance, I would not class her as a... Like, if my boyfriend rang me up and he was like, just to let you know, babe, like, I'm out. And, like, we've met this girl, but, like, she's all by herself and I'm going to drop her home because I don't want to... I'd be like, oh, my God, yeah, make sure she gets home safe. I would maybe, I don't know if this is a bit...

I'd be like, just stay on the phone to me. Or, like, if he called me, he was like, I'm going to stay on the phone to you, but I'm going to drop this girl home. She's, like, really drunk. Yeah. I don't know, because I feel like... It's really hard. Like, it stay on the phone to you, but I'm going to drop this girl home. She's like really drunk. Yeah. I don't know. Cause I feel like it's really hard.

Like it depends on the situation, but obviously. Yeah. Like I, I would see that as I can not, he's doing a nice thing. Yeah. I would too.

And I'd want him to do that. Yeah. I'd hope that a lot of people would do that, you know? So, um, they give a girl their hoodie when she's cold. I don't know.

I'm just... These things aren't directly cheating. It's so situation dependent. It's just so hard because, like, I just want a guy that's just all for me. Like, that's all that I want. Like, I want a man. I don't want a fucking boy.

I don't want somebody that wants to give anyone else attention. Like, no. I also don't want to have to tell someone that I only want them. I just want them to do it. Same. I don't need to be telling people at this age how to respect a girl. No. And so I think if they thought this girl is absolutely fucking freezing and

they felt in there, like, right, that they're not being disrespectful to me at all then give her your hoodie like if she's freezing absolutely give her your hoodie like that wouldn't bother me but again I think it's just like circumstance especially like if it's like a friend of a friend like you kind of knew them as well like yeah like obviously give them your hoodie like yeah you know they look like they're absolutely fucking freezing give them your hoodie like yeah you know they look like they're absolutely fucking freezing give them your hoodie but like i don't know it's yeah it is hard isn't it because it's but no i'd probably

say i'd probably say i would not class that as cheating and yeah whatever okay we'll do this one to round the episode off they sleep with other people when you aren't official sleep with yeah oh no fucker i i don't no one's gonna say they're like that are they so no like whether you're like okay if you're past seeing each other like five six times and you're clearly starting to like each other spending a lot of time with each other if you then go and sleep with somebody else what no no because technically yeah we're not like together but you should like me enough by that point to think I don't want to do that with any other girl your interest shouldn't be anywhere else really yeah and I just also think like I know it's very normal for people to be like dating multiple people so like whatever but like to actually

be sleeping with somebody like no i just think that's just gross like if yeah if they slept with somebody then the next week asked me to be their girlfriend i'd be a bit like just like getting in bed with them and getting a baby no yeah it's just not no also my biggest fear is catching something and like just no yeah like fat no big fat no okay well that is all for today guys i feel like we could have gone on and on and on we have more so we can do these in another episode because there's a lot but make sure to check us out on socials and subscribe to the pod on spotify so you don't miss out on any of the future goss and we will see you next tuesday for another episode see you guys then bye sex size and dm size is a spotify

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