Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 121. Texting Red Flags & Digital Body Language

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Today, we are diving into the world of digital body language and what are texting green and red flags. We find out what the experts have to say about good and bad body language during a first date and also, what we'd personally put up with during the early talking stages of relationships. But first, let's have a catch up and chat about all things disney!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Sex Lies and DM Slides with me, Safron Barker. And me, Anastasia Kingsnorth. So we are back for another week and back for another opportunity to deep dive into all things sex and relationships. So recently we have spoken about a lot of dating dilemmas and cheating. So today we thought we'd chat about the early stages of a relationship where a lot of the communication is done behind the phone screen, which is just quite sad

really when you think about it. Like it was not like that when our parents were younger. I know. I do feel like I was born in the wrong generation. I really do. I do in some ways. In that way, I really wish that it wasn't so complicated for dating. I think it was just so much more simple. Do you know what though?

Back then. I am grateful that you're up in the year of High School Musical. Oh my God. Did you see that the other day it was 18 years since High School Musical came out? Babe, I saw and I've never felt so old in my life. So that was, I was five when High School Musical came out.

Like isn't it crazy that kids nowadays actually don't know what it is? It's weird when people like, I see it in comments and people are like, oh who is like Troy Bolton or like who is Gabriella like Like, and they don't know who they are. Well, do you know the thing that actually made me think, Oh my God, like this is wild is somebody commented and it had thousands of likes on a video of Harry Stiles saying, where's he from? Oh my God, no way. He used to be in a boy band,

like he was in a boy band. Like are you fucking joking me? Because people are gonna start like not knowing. And people are like, people have started like people don't know, like lots of people didn't know he came from one direction. It's terrifying. Terrifying.

This is the sign that we are getting old. And it makes you realize, so there's, I don't know, like other boy bands, I don't know, Boys to Men or something, that I would know one person. My parents would be like, you didn't know they was in that boy band. And I was like, no, like this was growing up.

Yeah. And now I get why they were so offended by me not knowing or like so gobsmacked because how did somebody not know that Harry Styles is in One Direction? Yeah, it's crazy. Like some people, they probably never heard a One Direction song.

No. Which is just weird and that makes me feel so old. But when I saw the High School Musical thing. Or like they might have, yeah. No, actually they might not even have. Yeah, that's just crazy. When I saw the High School Musical thing, I was like, fuck.

Like, wow, like I really am growing up now that kids don't know what High School Musical is. And I like, fuck. Like, wow, I really am growing up now that kids don't know what High School Musical is. And I'm so grateful that I got to grow up in that era of Disney Channel because the nostalgia that it brings me when I watch it now, oh my God, I love it. You know the first time it aired, me and all of my family sat together and watched it.

Like, I don't know why, they must have been advertising it for a long time because I remember. Yeah, they probably would have. And it's really funny, I genuinely don't know why they must have been advertising it for a long time because I remember. Yeah, they probably would have. And it's really funny, I genuinely don't have many memories as a child. Like genuinely the memories that I have are like from photos, then maybe like I've got a memory. Whereas this is like a core memory, which is crazy,

which is why I think High School Musical really affects me because I genuinely remember me and all of my family sitting down in the lounge and watching a high school musical together. The first one when it came out. We wouldn't sit together and watch something like that. Yeah, the first one that ever came out. But it was, I mean, I might be wrong,

but I'm pretty sure it was one of the very first Disney Channel original films. That must have been why, because I remember, I look back and I'm like, why did we all like get together and be like, oh my God, it's on? No. We were genuinely all like, why did we all like get together and be like, oh my God, it's on. No. We were genuinely all like, oh my God, it's on.

Yeah. I think it was one of the first originals because if it was five when I came out, I then remember like, because following on from that, you had, what was Sharpay's film that she did? Oh my God. Oh my God. I can't remember now. But you know what you're talking about, don't you?

I just can't remember what it's called. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Then they did that, and then they did like that Suite Life on Deck with the way we played, whatever it was called. Oh my God, I might rewatch that tonight. Yes, babe, I rewatch them all the time, and like Princess Protection Program,

and all of those like, those were the days. Oh my God, I love Princess Protection Program, that is such a good movie. And Starstruck, I love Starstruck, that is one of my favorite channel films. Cinderella story. Oh my God, they is such a good movie. And Starstruck, I love Starstruck. That is one of my favorite channel films. Cinderella story. Oh my God, they're just so good. And even Camp Rock.

Camp Rock, they are such iconic films. And I remember, it's weird how you remember where you were when you watched the first one, because I remember the third one actually went to cinemas. So I remember going to the cinema to watch the third one and they had cutouts of all the characters everywhere. Like it was the biggest film to come out at the time. And those were the days guys, take me back.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. I think tonight, because I'm just having a really homely mood, I'm going to get some snacks, watch so many movies. Oh my God, we should do it when I come to you on the weekend. We can what? I know we're going out one night, but we should do a movie marathon.

Yeah, that we can have a high school musical marathon. Like all of our childhood movies. All the old Disney films we can watch. Do you know what? I'm throwing that for my girls as well. Yeah, it's such. Maybe you're gonna have to come. I will, I'll come down.

Please can you actually come? Because I've been saying for the longest time, I wanna hire like TPs and stuff, and everyone have their own bed. Oh, that'd be so cute. And do like a big movie marathon, but maybe that's what I do. Like everyone can put like their one childhood movie. And like when I say movie marathon, but maybe that's what I do. Like everyone can put like their one childhood movie.

And like, when I say movie marathon, my brother, I remember this was years and years ago, he got all of him in his best mates and they watched every single Harry Potter back to back. I love that. I'm watching Harry Potter at the moment. I had the second one on this morning. I love Harry Potter.

That's such a good movie marathon. And you can do like three snacks. Yeah, I think they had like maybe like an hour and a half break in between, but like they genuinely, the boys didn't go home until they watched the beginning to the end. Yeah, but you could do like, cause you can do obviously Harry Potter themed snacks,

but you could get everybody to bring like a board or a drink themed to their favorite film. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, that would be such a good idea. That would be so cute. Okay, you're invited when I do this. Okay, please. I want to come because anything to do with like old school That would be so cute. Okay, you're invited when I do this. Okay, please, I wanna come because anything to do

with like old school Disney, I'm there. Okay. I am there. Imagine it was like come dressed up as a character. Oh my God, I'd so probably come dressed up as like Sharpay. I was gonna Sharpay or Gabriella, it'd be so easy. Yeah. Definitely do it, also, Ina Gomez. Or any of them, oh my God.

Oh my God, but you should do Gabriella. Babe Halloween, you should actually do Sharpay, you should do Gabriella. Oh my, I don't I should do Sharpie, you should do Gabriella. Oh my, I don't know how this has happened, guys. I don't know how we've got onto this, but we've just got a Halloween outfit. I don't know how this has happened. That would be unreal.

I've actually decided what I am as Halloween this year as well. Oh, I literally, I can't, I haven't even thought about it yet, so. Well, I think I'm having a Halloween party. Okay, and- I haven't got enough friends, so I'm hoping that you're all gonna come.

Yes, babe, obviously I will come. I have no plans for Halloween. And I've got two different options as to what I'm gonna go as. And one of them, I'm hoping that you're all gonna come. Yes babe, obviously I will come, I have no plans for Halloween. And I've got two different options as to what I'm gonna go as. And one of them I'm so excited. Can people go with anything or do you have to, cause didn't you do one year where you had to come beginning with a letter of something?

Yes, I did, but that wasn't Halloween. I feel like Halloween would just kind of do whatever. Go with anything you want. I do love when people do the rhyming theme though. What's the rhyming theme? You know when people rhymes, it's like crime and, why can I literally not think of a word that rhymes with crime?

Slime. Slime. So somebody will come dressed as a slime, somebody will come dressed as like a criminal. Oh, and you do duos? And you do duos, yeah. Okay, yeah, I got you. But I really wanna do, which I shouldn't say this,

cause I actually think we're going as this and I'm really ruining it. But I really wanna go It was yeah. Okay. Yeah. I got you. But I really want to do, which I shouldn't say this cause I actually think we're going as this and I'm really ruining it. But I really want to go to Chipettes with Imogen and Libby. That's such a good idea. Oh my God. I just think it'd be so cute. I think we could do it so good. But like only obviously if we did it really well. Yeah. You have to do it really good.

Like Chipmunks. So it's a bit like, how can you make that good? But I just think the colors, like, whoever's, I can't remember what the purple Chippettes called, but like she has that big purple glasses, doesn't she? Yeah. And like Libby always wears like big glasses and stuff. And I don't know, I just felt like it could be really cute.

That could be unreal. You could do really cute like makeup. I know when there's like freckles and stuff, I know it could be very cute. Yeah. I like that. So I don't know, maybe I thought, yeah, I need to decide this week ifles and stuff, I know it can be very cute. Yeah. I like that. I don't know, maybe I, yeah, I need to decide this week if I'm gonna do it, but are you around?

Yeah, yeah, maybe I'm not, I've got no Halloween plans. Maybe then. So if you're having a party, I'm there, I don't need to get thinking of an outfit. But maybe I'll do old school Disney, but I don't know, how do we even get onto this? I really don't know, because we haven't even got into the subject yet.

Oh, because we were talking about dating back then and then we somehow got onto High School and High School. Nothing to do with this episode. Back then. But here we are. But that was our catch up. There you go. Just Disney for the last 10 minutes.

But like I said, we've been speaking about dating dilemmas, so we want to speak about how most of the communication nowadays is through our phone screens. So do you think it's hard to work out nowadays if somebody likes you or how they're dating and stuff through texting? I think if they like you, yes, you will be able to tell through text. Yeah, it is really hard. Like I don't, if I ever had like a problem with somebody or like an issue, I probably wouldn't text it. Or like, yeah, the problem with texting, I do think it could be read a million different ways. Yeah, and I'm bad at that.

So if I get sent a message, like if I'm speaking to a boy or whatever, I will read that message. If I think it's a bit odd in several different ways. Yeah, to be fair, same though babe. I would actually be exactly the same. And it's like, I don't really know. Like I think it is or should be obvious when somebody likes you, but then maybe a little bit of trust issues over here. I'm like, oh, are you just saying that over text? Are you just

saying that? Like I think it's really hard over text. Flirting is so fine. Like, I can flirt over text. Like, that's easy to tell. It's also like, actions speak so much louder than words. One million percent. So it kind of doesn't even matter what somebody texts you,

because the actions and what's the most important thing. Have you seen that trend recently on TikTok? And it's so true. And it's like, if they couldn't speak, would their actions make you feel loved? Yes, I saw somebody do a TikTok about that. And it's so true. It's scary to think about actually, isn't it?

When you really think about it, yeah, because actions do speak 10 times louder than words. And someone can say they like you over text, I was gonna say, but like, if they're not following that up in the real world, then they don't like you. Yeah, I look back on past relationships and I think, there was so much talk, so much,

I love you, you're my world, but if they couldn't talk, I'm thinking, yeah, actually, where the fuck was the action? Yeah, it's so easy. It's so true. For somebody to say something over text or say, I like you, whatever, but show me that you like me then. Because I- Put in the effort.

Put in the effort. I am very much like a words of affirmation girlie in the sense of like, and like, I need to hear it. It's nice to hear it too. It's nice to hear it. Of course you wanna hear it. Like if I wasn't hearing it, I would also then it. It's nice to hear it too. It's nice to hear it, of course you wanna hear it. Like, if I wasn't hearing it, I would also then think you maybe don't like me.

But I need to hear it and see the actions. They need to match. Yes. We just need a little bit of both going on. Yes. Please, future boyfriend, if you're listening. So do you, I think we've had this conversation before, but do you consciously, have you ever played games

when texting to try and keep the other person interested? So like not replying for a certain amount of hours or, you know, leave them on their head? I've always said how much I've hated it. I've never been a person to play games, but I would be fully denied, I'd be lying if I was like, I've never thought to myself, but I'm just not gonna reply now.

I don't like, I'm not doing that now. But there's definitely been a point in my life where I've been like, oh, I'm not gonna reply yet because like, or whatever, or I'm like, oh, I should probably be a bit more blunt because he has. But I've definitely never been the girl that's like kept that up. Like, I'm just not big on games.

So if I found myself doing it, then two days later, I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? See, I- Like this is such a waste of time. It is a real waste of time and the whole like, he took four hours, I'm gonna take eight hours, is a bit like, come on, we don't need to be doing that. I mean, like if, say if I texted somebody

at 10 in the morning and they replied at 8 p.m. at night and I replied instantly and they didn't reply to me for 24 hours and then I replied instantly again, then I probably would think to myself, Anna, maybe don't reply straight away. Like maybe just leave it a bit. But if we're just having a normal conversation day to day and say, I haven't been on my phone for a couple of hours, but you've just messaged me, I'll message you straight back. No, same. Like I don't see a problem in that. If somebody messaged me straight back and I had spent hours and they messaged me straight back,

I wouldn't think like genuinely I wouldn't think to myself Jesus Christ like they're, I would just think oh they're on their phone right now. Yeah and I would also like for me if I don't know I take it as a compliment like oh they're replying to me straight away that's nice. Yeah. Like it's mad. Also I think that actually shows. Like, it's mad. But also I think that actually shows more majority

because it's like, well, they're clearly just on their phone and don't give a shit about looking like, oh, I need to wait 20 minutes. But isn't it mad that nowadays, if I got a reply back straight away, I'd be a bit like, oh my God, that's exciting. Because that should be like, realistically, fucking standard.

I shouldn't have to worry about that or be excited about that. But yeah. Actually so true. It's crazy. Like dating in our 20s has really like, it's fucked to put it politely. It's just, it's wild. But yeah, I definitely, I wouldn't say necessarily I don't play games. I don't do that, but I've definitely thought in my head, Oh God, maybe I will leave it a little bit longer. I don't want to be too keen sometimes. I've definitely thought that.

Don't know why I think that though, because realistically if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. I might as well just reply whenever I wanna reply. Okay, do you misunderstand people's messages based on their texting style or like digital body language, whether they put texts or not, or whether they use emojis. Yeah, this happens with my mom actually.

With your mom? I misread my mom all the time. Okay, in what sense? More than any other person I know. How? She's such a blunt texter. Oh, okay. And I'm like, hello, have I done anything?

She's like, no. I'm like, oh, why? She's just a blunt te no. I'm like, oh, why? She's just a blunt text. I'm like, because she's really blunt. She's like, just doing something. I'm like, and another thing my mum always does, which I got into a habit of doing, is rather than just saying, okay,

if she's like acknowledged something, to acknowledge it, she just put kiss kiss. But like- Oh, okay. And it's funny, cause I do it, like I don't do it actually anymore, but I really got into habit of doing it after she done it to me all the time. So like, say I was like,

oh, I managed to sort the other now, should put Kiss Kiss. Rather than just write and like, oh, oh, I'm glad you sorted it out, should put Kiss Kiss, like to acknowledge it. She's just acknowledged it, yeah. My mom always was like,

I'd be like, mom, why are you just putting Kiss Kiss? She's like, to let you know I've acknowledged it. I'm like, She's just acknowledged it, yeah. And my mom always was like, I'd be like, it's mom, why are you just putting kiss kiss? She's like, to let you know I've acknowledged it. I'm like, we'll just put like, the large sort of thing. Yeah. Okay. But I ended up getting in a habit of doing it

and I could imagine if I'd done that to somebody, just kiss kiss, I'd be thinking, the fuck? If I text you saying, got my outfit sorted for this weekend and you put kiss kiss, I'd be like. No, that's my mom, you try texting my mom. Well, when I do message your mom, she's not giving me kiss kiss. I am getting a full sentence.

No, but she wouldn't do it if like, so you say like she, say all week I was like, oh mom, I really can't find an outfit. Well, to be fair, she probably wanna know what that outfit was. Yeah. Or like say I was like, I decided to go with the white outfit. Or like, say I was like, I decided to go with the white outfit. Then she texted me.

Okay, say I decided to go with the white outfit. I'm getting a kiss kiss. That would really... Sorry, you're not gonna believe what my mum was just texting me. Not a kiss kiss. Babe, I was about to literally have, no. Babe, I'm not lying.

Just out of the blue, my mum has texted me. I think this guy could be the right one for you. He came up on my Instagram feed. Check him out. You're joking. What does he look like? Is he giving you type? Oh no, send me his Instagram quickly please.

Let me forward you this reel that my mum just sent me. He's not my type. But he's talking about- That is so random. His talk is in London 25. He's talking about a hinge date in like, do you know what? I could see you with him.

Do you know what's weird? I kind of think you look a bit alike. They always say you end up with somebody who you look kind of alike. They do, don't they? I'm sorry, that is so funny. Not my mom said, I think this guy could be the right one for you.

What? Oh my God, that's hilarious. He came up on my Instagram feed. Oh my God. Oh my God, do you know what? I can see you as, oh, you've got a message now. You've got to say, your mom sent you, my mom sent me to you.

Screenshot the text that my mom sent me, like my mom found you. And I think it's a match made in heaven. No, that is actually fucking hilarious. And then he'll put back his kiss. Guys, he's a running influencer. He's a running influencer. Wait, I feel like we should just show him,

because you've never spoken to that guy. Do we? Yeah, to be fair, we could show him. That's hilarious, I would. Should I watch his story? Hang on. Oh, it's got nothing. That is actually hilarious. I am just so baffled by that.

I wanna know how he's even come up on my mom's. I don't know if he's your type though. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe we don't. Can I show him? Yeah, go on. You can show him.

This is him, guys. If you're watching the video, oh God, hang on, I'm just going through some random guys dump. I'm just gonna reply to my mom and just say, why do you think that is so funny yeah you need to ask her why she thinks he's I've just asked her why because what the hell anyway that was so random thank you mum though really appreciate

that When you're in the early stages of dating then, do you like texting a lot? Like are you a real texter in the early stages? I've got to really like you, but then yes. I've got to really like you, but then yes. Like I've got to really like you. Like when I look at like previous people I've dated, I have been texting them nonstop, but everyone knows me. I am the worst text, so you will ever, ever, ever meet. Just retweet. I have no comment, but retweet.

Yeah, like really everyone. I honestly reckon if I ask every person I know who's the worst text you've ever met, they'd say me. But like if we're talking about something really important and we need to like do it right now, then we'll have a flowing conversation for a good five minutes, but then we're done. Yeah, and that's it.

But you know what, just call me. Yeah. Just FaceTime me. If you need me, call me FaceTime me, I will be there. Straight away. Straight away, within seconds. So if it's something that you need an immediate response to, you call, but if it's just a, I'm just letting you know, then you text. Yeah.

That's how I've learned. That's why I think with like somebody I'm seeing, like I love texting, I love flirting, like over text, like I just think it's funny. Like the amount of times I've caught myself giggling at my phone and I love that feeling. Oh yeah, it's such a- It cringes me out. I'm like, oh fuck me, if somebody saw me right now, I'm so embarrassed.

It's so fun. It's such a nice feeling. Like I think like flirting with somebody, even over text is just fun and just nice. And you know, there's, you really, you can really get to know someone over text, but I've really got to like you because for me, it's just, it's an effort to text someone.

And I also think it really depends on their texting style because if I'm speaking to somebody who is really sarcastic, I'm really, we're not just saying, how was your day? We're actually having a really funny conversation then I'm like, yeah, I want to text you like all the time because it's so fun. And I think it's even more exciting once you've been on a date with somebody and then you're still texting them after because you've met them in real life. You've had that banter in real life, but now you're still

doing it on text. Like I love that. And I am very much a texter. Like I wouldn't just like see somebody for a first date and then be like, okay, should we go on a second, arrange a second, then not measures them in between. I like a good text. I like a good flow. But you know what? I've been on a date with like the opposite.

So I've been on a date with somebody. They've been so funny, like sense of humor is amazing, sarcastic, everything. And then I get home, text them, and it's so fucking dry. Like their text and style is so awful. But in real life, it's so fun. Which, about how did you deal with that though? Cause for me that'd be really hard.

Well I didn't, cause I just thought, this is just so boring. When I'm not with you, I'm bored. Yeah, and you don't wanna be bored. You wanna keep that excitement up until you see them again. That's it. Yeah. I think it's really hard. I definitely am a, like a text up, only if they can give me it back in the way that I need to be given back. And also it's really hard when you first start texting somebody because I'm a very sarcastic

person. I am like, Oh, they're going to read this wrong. Oh Oh yeah, you've had people read things wrong, haven't you? I have, I have. Like very wrong. Yeah. So, we've learned. Actually, we shouldn't be a text. We've learned. Okay, before we move on to body language, let's do some quick fire at any of these

dating red flags to you, but like texting ones. So, fake replies, short and unclear meaning you have to send a follow-up question. Is it a red flag? Maybe like an amber, maybe like an amber flag. Yeah, I don't love short replies. I hate when I have to keep asking you the same question over and over again, that's really annoying.

What really annoys me is when I ask someone a question, but we're having like a thread of messages and I ask them a question, then they ignore the question. Oh, I'm probably that person. Because I'm like, are you ignoring the question for a reason? Oh, do you know what though? When there's so many messages, sometimes I do just...

Do you purposely skip past? Yeah. Oh gosh, okay. But no, like if it was like an important question, then obviously I'm not skipping past it. And I wanna part like... Actually, I don't skip past. Yeah. Oh gosh, okay. But no, like if it was like an important question, then obviously I'm not skipping past it. And I wanna part like- Actually, I don't skip past questions. You know what I'd skip past is like,

if there's nothing for me to reply to it, then I'm like, oh, I've read that. Maybe I like it, maybe I won't. But like there's nothing for me to reply. So I'm like, I'll just go past that one. Cause we're like on a thread of messages. Yeah, see I'm talking when there's maybe like two other messages and then a question and

they ignore the question. I'm like, why have you ignored the question? And then it's a bit awkward for you to follow it up because it's like- Yeah. You can't ask again. Cause then I'm like, well, then I'm like, I don't know. Like they're really going to think I want to know the answer to this question or maybe I do. That's why I'm asking it. But we already know that. Okay. Non-committal responses, like, I don't know. And maybe, fuck that. Can't be asked about. Fuck that. Road flag. Like if I said, are we going on a third date? I don't know. Or maybe, no.

Okay. Another example. Cut the bullshit. What? Of like non-committal response? Yeah. Because I feel like that's an obvious red flag. What about, do you think you'll travel anywhere else this year? And the response is, I don't know. Oh, okay, so very, yeah, very generic. It's still a bit like,

I just be like, you probably don't want to speak to me then cause the conversation is very dry. Yeah. Like like. I just be like, you probably don't want to speak to me then because the conversation is very dry. Like, like I just, you couldn't at least just say a country. Just say somewhere. Yeah. You don't need to put I don't know. Or just be like, honestly, I really don't. Yeah, like, yeah, if there was more to it,

we'll just, I don't know, maybe. Yeah, fuck that red flag. Fuck that. Overuses emojis or relies on a certain emoji too much. Do you know what guys, this is not a red flag to me because I do it. Unfortunately, I will admit it. But I feel like emojis are such a good way.

You do use emojis. I do. The reason is, is because I feel like there's such a good way to show that you're actually being sarcastic. So like, if I'm like sarcastically flirting, a certain emoji can really help show that. Yeah, I feel like-

That's why I love emojis. Every time you've helped me out with a text back to a guy is always involved in emoji. Whereas when I send you a text to help you out, you always say, I'm what emoji can I put? I actually do. You do, you're, you always say, and what emoji can I put? I actually do. You do, you're always like, okay, and what emoji? No, but I really do think emojis help flirting

and help wittiness. See, I think it depends on whether the other person uses emojis because if they don't use them, then I don't tend to use them apart from the laughing face. But then if they're using them, then I'll naturally put more. But I don't really use that many emojis. laughing face, but then if they're using them, then I'll naturally put more. But I don't really use that many emojis. Maybe I need to get more into my emoji.

But there's about four that I would use and that's it. Do you use the monkey still? I don't use them. I've never used a monkey. Sometimes you've used a little. No, not the monkey. You have used the monkey. Babe, I don't, I use the two hands like that,

but not the monkey one. Really? Babe, don't put me under that monkey. Babe, I don't know, use the two hands like that, but not the monkey one. Really? Babe, don't put me under that category. Babe, hang on, okay, maybe. I've never used the monkey. Let me just, hang on, let me search monkey. Babe, I'm not out here using the monkey. Right, okay, hang on, let's see who has used it.

Wait, let me see if you though is texting with the monkey. I have not used the monkey. I would use the hand that covers. Oh, okay, you haven't. If I'm like, oh my God, not showing you the hand that covers, but I'm not using the monkey. And I would also use this one to flirt with, I think is really cute.

Oh, you always use that. Yeah, I know you use that. That's like a flirty emoji. And what are the flirty emojis you've got? And hate to admit it, I'd use the eyes. I don't, yeah, that's a flirty emoji. But like, again, like if I'm being sarcastic or something, like I just think I is a good emoji

and I'd use a laughing face. And you always do dot dot then emoji. Do I? You do. You do, you do, like I can't, hang on, let me send you a text. Babe, going off, I do not use dot dot emoji. Let me send you a text.

Wait, so you'll be like, hang on. You can't claim I'm really good at flirting on text and then claim that I use dot dot emoji. Look, I feel like you do this. Hang on, I'm sending you an example text. Babe. I need to find- I'm looking at, I've Googled in all of my messages

dot dot emoji. I haven't seen one. You've not seen one? No, babe. This is what I imagine you're flirting to be like, the one I've just seen one. You've not seen one? No, babe. This is what I imagine you're flirting to be like, the one I've just sent you. Oh, fuck off. Maybe.

I don't know. No, she's put that. I don't do that. I actually don't do that. I, no, if I was writing that, I would just, yeah, like honestly. So who, I know somebody who does this and I'm sure it was you. I wouldn't, I would just do that.

Maybe. I don't, you can't put me under that category of monkey emoji. That is, that is ruthless and not nice. Yeah, she's not under the category of the monkey. If somebody sent me the monkey emoji, I would be a bit like, ooh, not sure about this. No, genuinely, it gives me the ick.

In a sarcastic way- I'd rather use the little devil horny emoji. Ooh, okay. I'd rather that than the monkey. The monkey is enough to put me off anyone. If we're having a really sarcastic conversation, I'm fine with the monkey, if the monkey makes it funny. But like, I would use it in a very sarcastic term.

Like, live, laugh, love. I think I'd have to know you though. Oh yeah. I'd have to know you, we'd have to be speaking for a little bit for me to find it funny, otherwise I would be like, what the fuck? Okay, next one. Taking too long to respond to messages. How long is too long? Because if we're talking like three,

four days, then what is the point in us having a conversation? Yeah. Like then to me, it'd be like- I think two days is too long. Yeah, I do too. At that point, I think I'd be going, like I'd think two days is too long. Yeah, I do too. At that point I think I'd be ghost, like I'd think, oh, I've been ghosted. Yeah, I would too. Like I wouldn't think, oh, they'd like, we're having a conversation,

I'd think, oh, this person has ghosted me. Okay, then the last one, always abbreviating words and phrases. So for no problem, they use NP or DM for don't mind. That doesn't bother me. It wouldn't, it doesn't necessarily bother me, but I don't love it. Like, I think like if they would, if I dunno, it depends if they're a blunt text or not. If they're a blunt text and they're using these short abbreviations, I'd be like, you must fucking hate me

why you even texted me. But if they're like still using, like we're having a normal conversation in the middle of the message, they've just put DM, then I wouldn't think anything of it. But I think it just all depends on the sort of conversation I'm having. Yeah, like they're putting DM and a no P

and a little emoji, I bet you won't bother you so much. This is meant to be quick fire, I feel like we need to quick OP and a little emoji. I bet you won't bother you so much. This is meant to be quick fire. I feel like we need to quick fire them a bit more. This isn't quick fire. Right, we've done all of them now. We're moving on to body language now. Body language. So is this something you pay attention to

when you're dating somebody? Yeah, definitely. I feel like I would like to think I'm good at reading body language, but I'm probably not like that good at reading body language, don't I? I know that when somebody naturally sits with their legs open or like a little bit more open, that means they are like welcoming you into their space or they're open to you

being in their space, which is nice. Obviously eye contact, that's body language. Like, you know, like if they're, you can hold eye contact, that's a good sign of body language. If somebody kept looking to the side or wasn't looking at me when they were talking, I'd be a bit like, oh, this is, I don't know. I like eye contact.

What other body languages are? I don't really know any of those. See, that's the thing. I feel like there's a lot when it comes to body language and I just, I don't know. Yeah, like I would not be the best at this. See, that's the thing, I feel like there's a lot when it comes to body language and I just, I don't know, yeah, like I would not be the best at knowing. Like, yeah, there's certain things, like eye contact and stuff that I would read into

and be like, all right. But that I don't think takes much. Or it's like, some people I think are so good at body language. I went on a date once and it was a first date and somebody in the pub came up to us and said you two are on a first date aren't you? And we were like yeah why and he went I can tell because your body language you're mirroring each other so I know it's going well. And

then when we looked we were both in the exact same position with our arms, our legs, everything. Fuck off. Wait, if you mirror each other is that a good thing? Apparently if you mirror each other, is that a good thing? Apparently, if you mirror each other, if you subconsciously mirror the other person's actions, that's a green flag that is going well. Wait, what? But why? I feel like I do wanna like read into that.

But now I think about it, because I'm like, if I notice the other person sat in my position subconsciously, I'm like, hmm, do you like me? Like, is this going well? Wow. Yeah. I was really shocked when the guy said it and we looked at each other and we were like,

but also a weird thing to say to somebody on a first date. So weird. Like, cause that could really embarrass somebody. Oh, don't worry. It kind of did embarrass me a little bit. I was like, Oh my God, what the fuck? But like, it was also quite sweet, but like he knew that we were on a first date, he could tell.

And I was like, how can, like it's just, that was embarrassing itself. Yeah, that's crazy. But yeah, apparently if you mirror somebody's body language, that's a good sign. Tell you what, if a guy's not mirroring me when I'm sat down now, I'm gonna be fuming. Yeah, babe, me too.

Now, it's not all about- And why you sat differently for me? Yeah, it's in my mind, I'm like, well, why the fuck isn't your hand on the table like mine is? It obviously isn't going that well. But that's what I mean, you can't think too deeply into these things because once you know something,

you subconsciously always think it and you'll let it ruin things when it really shouldn't ruin things. It doesn't matter if the guy's in mirroring your body language, but it's just nice when somebody noticed it. Yeah. But now it's just another thing to think about. Oh my God. No way. There's on here. so we're about to read guys some advice from body language expert. The first one, mimic their mannerisms. One way to make someone relax in your presence

is to mimic their mannerisms. So we've recommended to mimic them. Yeah. But I was doing it subconsciously or he was doing it subconsciously. But oh my God, that's actually- Yeah, I wonder who was copying who. Yes, yeah, I actually don't know. Wow.

I really don't know. I'm really gonna deep this now when I go out. Babe, honestly, it's all I can think about now. It's all I can think about, but that's mad that that was like the first like piece of advice from the body language expert. Yeah, and I feel like when I go out and I see people on dates and stuff,

I'm really gonna be watching their mannerisms now. See, if I was a body language expert, like I would just, like how that guy had to voice his opinion, I'd be doing shit like that all the time. And I really would like be too involved in just watching other people. I like people watching as it is. Yeah, I love people watching.

Let alone if I was a body language expert. Yeah, you'd note everything. Like it would drive you insane. Yeah. Okay, the next one is remove obstacles. So if you want to encourage openness between you and another person, you should remove any obstacles between you.

So phones and drinks between you are barriers. Wow. I mean, on a date anyway, like I don't have my phone on the table. I'd always just put my phone in my bag or like on the side. I would never do that. But drinks? Now I'm thinking about it. When I go on dates, the drinks are never in front of me the

drinks are always to the side but I don't know if that's on purpose. Well I just don't think you would put a drink directly in front of you would you? No I always put it to the side. I don't know yeah yeah like I just can't see why anybody would do that. Now I'm thinking I'm gonna be thinking about this an awful lot guys next time I go on a date. Yeah, same. I genuinely would love to actually study this. But then I, like you said, I don't know if it'd be good things, I'll be reading into it way too much.

But body language really is a thing. But it must be really fun. Like if you can read it and the other person has no idea. Cause then you'll be on a date and like, you can read things about them and they'll be like, what the fuck? That must be quite fun. But now I'm going to think about it too much. But do you know another thing is that I noticed on a date that I went on, and I'm really deep

in this now, but I remember being in the date and I was really fucking slouched. Like I'm telling you, like I was, I wish you could see me right now, but I was slouched like this. And after about half an hour, I thought to myself, oh my gosh, I wish you could see me right now, but I was slouched like this. And after about half an hour, I thought to myself, oh my gosh, probably. Were you in a restaurant? I should probably sit up. Huh?

Were you in a restaurant? In a restaurant. And I was really like back, like arms, I don't know, I was just so like. Comfy. Comfy. And after like half an hour, I thought, oh my gosh, I should probably actually sit up.

Probably look really unnaty like. And I wonder if that means something. You obviously felt very comfortable to be able to do that naturally. But then in my head, I think I was thinking I don't look very fancy and that's not enough. So I think maybe that was why. Oh, maybe.

But should I Google it and see if it means something? Google it, because then maybe you like naturally just didn't really care. Yeah, I think maybe you like naturally just didn't really care. Yeah. Because some- I think maybe it's that. Because when I- Let me have a look.

Slouching on a date body language. Yeah. Okay. Oh. What does it mean? Oh no, it's really bad. It's bad. What does it mean?

But I was interested. This is telling you otherwise. If your day is slouching while you're sitting up straight and looking alert, they're indicating a loss of interest and maybe even a lack of respect for you. But I was actually interested. Like I wasn't looking around the room. I was involved in the conversation.

Did you see him again? Yeah. Oh. Weird. But then maybe it has two meanings. That is what Asit says. Yeah, I would also think that's being like really comfortable because I'm a really bad sloucher, like really bad.

The way I'm sat now is weird. It can show boredom, disinterest and being closed off. I mean, maybe I was. Okay, maybe not. Maybe I was, I don't know. I mean, yeah, like wasn't the one. So I mean. Wasn't the one, body language said it all.

Maybe that's what it meant. Okay, then the last one is be present. Don't look at your phone straight away if it lights up when you're on a date. I mean, I actually never do that anyway. I never do that. Like if it lights up. The only thing I would do that is if I had

like four missed calls from my mom. Yeah, then it'd be a bit like what is going on. And I'm so sorry, it's really weird. My mom's like called me four times, she'd never do that. But normally if my phone like is faced up and it like, it keeps lighting up, I'll just turn it upside down. I would actually just turn it over.

Yeah, that's what I do. Just then they can't see. Also guys, just to end this episode off, my'll just turn it upside down. I would actually just turn it over. Yeah, that's what I do. Just so they can't see. Also guys, just to end this episode off, my mum has replied about this guy. Right, what did she say? I always put, why do you think that? She put, he's 25, good looking, seems to know how to plan a date.

Send him a DM and say hi. What's the worst that could happen? You have to explore other avenues, not just dating apps, Anna. Oh my God. Bless her, she's really got your best interests at heart. Imagine this actually was your guy. She is really thinking about me today, but I don't think-

Can you tell her to just send some my way too? Let me say, okay, mom. Tell her what my type is. Have you seen anyone? If she sees any of that in my type. For Saf. She can just send it my way. She likes to talk about us.

I said, have you seen anyone for Saf? Send if you have. Yeah. That is quite iconic for my way. She likes to talk about us. I said, have you seen anyone for Saf send if you have? Yeah. That is quite iconic for my mum. What a lovely little message. Do we bet my mum's actually done that multiple times? Well, I sent you people and you're like, oh, I think it's the one. My mum's gone up to people

when she's thought they're fit before. Oh my God. I would be mortified if my mum did that to me. Babe, I know. Do you know what? Like it's the norm for me. And you know what? One day it might work.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe this is the one. We know someone it's worked to. Who? Well, what, her grandma. I remember May and her boyfriend. Oh my God, yeah.

That's how she met her boyfriend from her grandma saying you'd really suit my granddaughter. And showed him a picture of me. Oh my God. Yeah, and then that's literally that. That is mental actually, I forgot that was even a thing. Okay, so maybe it does work. Well, actually, sorry, I know we actually

really need to run out this episode, but Libby was telling me she was working at the anti-Joshua fight. And she texted me saying, oh my fucking God, I'm around the other side of the ring. So she had to walk the Saudi Arabia royal family to their seats. So she was with them.

Like that was like her job that you could just look after them. She was like, the other side of me, I have just seen your type. Like you would actually be in love. It's fucking crazy how many times I've heard this from somebody. This is a common occurrence.

Yeah, I was gonna say. This is a common occurrence that you get messages, this is your type. But it's like certain places, like you go to an AJ fight and you know you'd see probably my type. Cause she's obviously working in the ring and like my type are like,

you know, light skin, basketball players. And like that is my type. Anyways, she's texting me and she's like, I promise you all my life, I have to put my phone away again. I'm going around the ring now, I'm putting my phone down and I'm going up to him and I'm showing him your Instagram

because I think you two are gonna fall in love. She's like, I genuinely think you two are gonna fall in love. Like he's gonna fall in love with you and you're gonna fall in love with him. Did she actually do it? She said she looked for the whole fucking night and never saw him again.

Oh, well you know what it wasn't meant to be. And he was sat ringside. And she was like, I think he's famous, but like not too famous, but she said he was definitely American, like American, like cool dress sense. She was like, honestly Saf, and I'm fucking gutted.

Well, you know what babe, it wasn't meant to be because if it was, she would have been able to find him. Yeah, maybe. You've got to look at it like that. True. And you come into Manchester this weekend where I text you every fucking time I go out

saying there's your type. Yeah, where's the place that you always go to? That's where we need to go. Firefly, Firefly and Diaclub. They'll be at baby. Your type is everywhere in Manchester. You're so fine this weekend. I've never seen my type in Manchester.

Oh, to be honest, because we don't go clubbing though. If you went clubbing, then you'd find them instantly. Yeah. Right guys, I'm on a mission. We're in for a weekend. We've got a woman on a mission in Manchester this weekend. On the prowl. On the prowl tonight, this guy.

Thank you so much guys for listening to this episode and we should see you on Thursday for the bonus episode. Bye everyone. See you then.