Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 15: Age gap in dating, weird partner nicknames and living alone in London with Issey Moloney

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

Issey Moloney (@isseypovs) is our guest this week and this one is full of surprises! From chatting about interesting nicknames you’d call your partner, if she will move in with her BF anytime soon (FR)… and is dating with an age gap really that big of a deal? Plus Issey updates us on what it’s been like living on her own in London at just 17. She is seriously killing it. Produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tannor and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify the Executive Producer is Rhyanna Coleman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys, I'm Anastasia Kingsnorth and I'm Saffron Barker and welcome to Sex, Lies and DM Slides. No DM is ever off limits and neither is any topic and today we were joined with Izzy and we were talking about love languages. This is something that's really important to me because if somebody doesn't have the same love language as me it's never gonna work. Me too and I feel like it's a conversation we've never had before so it's really interesting to talk about love languages. Yeah and I feel like it's a really nice topic. Yeah. It's a really nice topic to speak about. So I actually really enjoyed this episode. Let's get straight on into it.

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Okay, so the first question we ask every guest on the podcast is what is your relationship status well i've been with my boyfriend for a year now and it only became a year like last weekend so oh cute we didn't actually like ask each other out it was more like oh let's just count it as the first day we met so right oh so he never asked you to be his girlfriend no because he i kept asking him and then he kept being like no well you were asking him to be boyfriend i kept asking him and he just kept saying no and then when i moved out of my um parents house then we were just like talking about it and i was like you're never gonna ask me out are you and he was like okay so you was asking him to ask you out yeah rather than asking him to me I was asking him to ask you no no all right you was asking him to be your boyfriend yeah okay yeah no and then he

was like because okay well after he I asked he was like no because I want to ask you so I was like okay right okay but so I waited and then I waited a couple months and then when I moved out I brought it up and I was like you're never gonna ask me are you and like we were just talking about how I don't know I don't feel like putting a name to it actually matters that much okay so I was like why didn't you just like I don't want to make this a big deal so like just do it and then yeah we just kind of like really interesting yeah because we have someone else on the podcast as well say that they kind of just said they were in a relationship and they didn't get asked but I would really want to be asked I yeah I think I'd really want to be asked but also as well for like clarity because I feel like I'd be like well if

you haven't asked me then what are we because even if you say you're together then you may as well just ask me do you know what I mean that's what I was like so that's how it happened but then I just decided oh let's just do the first day we met because we literally kind of rushed into it straight away. Right, okay. I love the fact that you asked him first. Yeah, I love that. Such a girl boss move.

It's 2022, that should be like a thing. But yeah, I love that for you. You also moved out into London. Yeah. You moved when you were 16, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How was that, moving into London at 16? I don't know. I feel like because it was a very impulsive move like I didn't really think about it and

because I didn't really think about it I just was like oh yeah it was kind of like a high so yeah no I didn't really overthink it much I was just very excited that it's crazy because my mum moved out when she was 60 actually when she was 15 and really it's crazy because when i think of me at 16 i couldn't have moved out there is no like i relied way too much on my parents like the fact that you were able to do that i think says a lot about you like that is you even with your friends as well yeah with my friends right okay basically my parents as well but um but yeah no it's it's a big shock I feel like it's more hit me now after which is strange because I've already lived in that house for like almost a year now

and I feel like it's hit me more now after a couple months than it did when I first moved in because like some things I need help with I mean like I'm growing up so like some things I need help with like taxes and stuff and like I can't ask that yeah and I guess when you first moved in it's more like you probably just feel like oh you just spent a few weeks in London rather than like oh I actually moved as well yeah living with your friend for the first time is so exciting yeah so do you think you'd ever move in with your boyfriend uh not anytime soon I said maybe in like five years but no I don't think I'm just scared of like divorce like if we ever got married or anything I'm just scared of that and so I'm right okay moving in together is the first step of that

and that scares me first of all because my parents like divorced and they had a very messy divorce so I feel like maybe I'm a bit scared to fully do the whole moving into cover thing right okay that makes sense that is a big step living with your boyfriend especially considering you are only 17 as well yeah yeah boyfriend because i have a lot of friends who've moved in with like their boyfriend or girlfriend and it just hasn't like none of them have ended well i think it can either make the relationship or break it yeah a hundred percent yeah and a very small amount actually make it so that's like yeah yeah yeah yeah that makes sense do you see your boyfriend a lot because I know he he's also a tiktoker right uh yeah but he doesn't really like it so he's on uni now but he's on his like last year and he's enjoying it but that also means

that I can't see him as much as I want to I did see on your tiktok that he's moved away how far like quite a few hours so okay yeah two and a. So like two and a half hours, but I can't drive. So, right. Yeah, no. And so how did you guys meet each other? We met at a Halloween party. Right, okay. Yeah.

And we just kind of locked eyes. And then, cause he's a bit older than me, they like, these group of boys came over and like asked how old I was. And I was like, at the time I was like, oh, 16.

And they were all just like slowly backed away. And I was like, was like oh okay and um like he actually completely ignored me for a while and then like we kept like seeing each other things and then we were just like oh like kind of like you kind of like you too okay so you didn't lie about your age no no no okay I wouldn't do that I feel like every girl's lied about their age at some point have you ever lied about your age I can't remember a specific time but I probably have like yeah I feel like at some point in my life I've definitely lied about my age and I'm older than I am especially if I liked someone I swear I would have done that when I was younger yeah I definitely have done that before yeah I feel like to get into like a party then yeah but that's about it yeah I've actually had like guys lie to my friend's age

before saying they're older than they are which is weird because it's really it's like a swap I don't know yeah it's weird so yeah but okay so you and your boyfriend you're in quite a would you say it's a public relationship because you do post about it yeah a fair bit yeah and people I know on TikTok react weird yeah how was that um so I actually put him on my TikTok straight away because I'm very much like I kind of put a lot of my personal life onto my social media and it's a toxic trait but also but um yeah no so I put him on it straight away and a lot of people had a lot of things to say because obviously the age gap so wait so what is the age gap so he's 21 now and i'm 17 so right and that's quite bad but it's okay um i feel like mentally he's not his age and i'm mentally not my age so yeah we literally are the

same oh we've had like a big conversation about age just a number so i think we we don't think it's bad it's weird because when my friends like or people will say it casually about other people but when they look at us they're like oh yeah like thinking about that that's weird but it's not yeah yeah like the age sounds a lot well the thing is you'd have friends at 21 yeah now yeah so like why can't you have a boyfriend 25 yeah exactly so why can't you have a boyfriend that's like that so also it's quite hard in the social media world in a sense that like everyone you meet who's like in the environments of like parties and stuff are quite like over 18, you know? And then the people who are like my age still like live with their parents. And those rules still apply because a lot of people also ask about, do I still see my home friends when I moved to London?

And like, I don't only because like it's weird when they come up because their parents are still strict about that stuff and then it's like oh yeah I'm gonna go see my friend who's like 17 and she lives with her best friends like would you let your child do that no probably not right okay yeah I mean so it's a bit hard with that as well so but how yeah so how was the reaction on TikTok when you posted your boyfriend um so the first video i posted was just his arm oh did you oh you did a soft launch yeah so people were just trying to guess who it was the whole time i love that though i love the guessing game we were saying we love the guessing game we're saying when we have boyfriends we'll be doing the whole

yeah i did it we're so down for it like you've got to rinse it right did people figure out who it was uh yeah they did but there was actually a video that i wish i could show you guys um i'll put it up before at the end of this but um there's this video where someone figures it out and then they're like oh that's the case i was like oh oh okay is that why you were so reluctant to post it because of the age gap or did you just I don't really care like I feel like it's like my life um yeah if people want to judge they can judge and I'm not nothing against that like people can say their opinions but I'm not gonna listen to them I guess it's like frustrating for you though as well when you know that you both act the same age do you know what I mean and they don't know you so yeah I bet that's like I could imagine how frustrating that must be and I've been in

situations where older guys have like tried to like take advantage as you would say and like feel like I'm well see me as like this naive young girl and so I've seen that before and I knew it wasn't that so like it's annoying that people were telling me that's what it was when it wasn't yeah yeah yeah and so your family they obviously they don't think anything of it no no not at all and I guess that's that's what matters so yeah yeah no oh okay right so this uh this episode we're gonna talk all things catching feelings and love languages so catching feelings let's talk about it when did you realize that you caught feelings like with your boyfriend it was just was it straight away uh yeah I guess so yeah I actually liked someone else at the time right and then like I didn't like how they were treating me so I was like okay bye you

and then that's when I like was like oh okay maybe I should give this guy a chance and then yeah right okay I remember I was like literally texting um my boyfriend like at the time I was like like well not at the time he was my boyfriend at the time but anyway I was texting him while I was like seeing this other guy and I was like oh yeah I was just telling him like how badly he was treating me at the time and he's like oh well you should meet me and I was like okay yeah and then yeah no there's so many funny stories but I've been yeah no anyway so do you think you catch feelings quick though yeah I feel like I don't necessarily catch them quickly but once I um start liking them I am very intense in the way that like I want to see them

all the time and stuff which is bad but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing I think it takes me a while to catch feelings to be honest yeah i think i've kind of like shut off from it now like i used to be very open and i used to like meet someone so i'd get a feeling and i'm like right it's exciting whereas now you know byron would disagree because byron says anna you say this about everyone right just because because i know we'll go no he's he's the nicest guy that's ever treated me and byron will go and i've witnessed this you say this about everyone I do every time I go on a date I'm like guys I love him but I'm not saying it in like all serious but then when I'm like oh yeah but what about this guy you're like yeah but it's chill so I don't think you actually catch feelings maybe you like the thought of them

yeah I think that actually like catching feelings scares me because it's a bit like you said you're scared of divorce I'm scared of like the heartbreak because i know what it feels like and i can't be asked to go through it again so i just stop myself from liking a person yeah maybe i'm self like self-deprecating is that what it is anyway do you catch feelings fast and babe do you want to answer that one for me yes she does yes i do i catch feelings so quick but i was i i always think it's because like i don't speak to that many people so i'm speaking to them i've got feelings quick you know when i think that's why before i was dating my boyfriend i was very much like i don't like talking i don't know how people talk to lots

of people at the same time i don't know see i've never been able to do that like if i mentioned one guy even if i think that even if i have an inkling they're speaking to loads of people i still can't speak to loads of other people that's why I don't think I'm good at like the whole dating thing and I don't go on loads of days because I feel like too bad I feel so bad there's a bad thing in like going on dates with different people no no I don't think it's bad for other people doing it but just me personally I'm just like I can't seem to do it because also like then they get then they get attached then I'm like great and now I just think it just makes it too much

I think it's just the talking on your phone like I'd get the conversations mixed up trying to remember like one thing about one person and one thing about another like I don't have the energy for that yeah I just think that's a lot but okay so how do you know when you've met the right person like with your boyfriend did you just get like a feeling yeah I feel like I kind of did I I guess like I kind of just saw him I was like oh I really want to get with him and my friend actually dared me to and so like this hot the whole night I was like okay I'm gonna get him and he kept like walking away from me and I was like no I'm gonna do it um but yeah no I would say like I guess like love at first sight I guess I don't know I just felt like completely myself around him.

And I feel like he feels completely himself around me as well. Which I think is when you know, like when you can just be your complete self with someone. Like I look at pictures of him from when we first met. And then to now, I'm just like, that's not the same person. Really? Completely changed. Wow. So do you believe in love at first sight then?

Yeah, I guess so. really completely changed like wow so do you believe in love at first sight then yeah i guess so oh so i can't well i don't i think i believe in love at first sight to a certain extent i i would like to believe in it can't say i've had that full-on experience i know i'm saying i believe in it and i haven't really quite had it but i think the thought of it sounds amazing so you give me hope and like other people in real life give me hope that it's gonna happen to me yeah so have you ever done anything like really dumb like because you've caught feelings like what's the dumbest thing you've ever done like a psycho bitch I mean I used to before I met Callum I used to travel a lot just so I could get with people I used to travel hours I would be sitting on the train for like four hours max like

literally so bad but um well like to meet somebody you've spoken to yeah yeah yeah right okay okay and if you're not just going to another city just not just going to another city just to find oh no no no right I mean like meeting them imagine right okay to try and find a different so did you have dating apps before is that how you were doing this oh no no no just like messages oh like on Instagram and stuff

I feel like Instagram is like the biggest dating app right now it is it's just yeah it's just easier isn't it yeah I mean

I know more people that have got together off of Instagram than something like Tinder do you yeah oh well maybe I'll start using Instagram

I mean my brother is girl from met of tiktok so i mean it says it all yeah about that yeah or take a good dating app to be fair is it i've well actually yeah they saw each other on tiktok and then they messaged on instagram yeah okay so but they still call it i feel like since tiktok came about there's just so many like beautiful girls and beautiful boys they that like i would never have seen like otherwise and i've seen people but that is the power of social media that like you know we can we can see everywhere way more option now okay is there anything like specific that a boy could like do to like make you fall for him or like has done before probably just open up to me i mean i like it when people are

just completely honest like i don't like people who like seem closed off even though I am myself like that's really bad but I feel like I like it when they just like can say stuff that they haven't told someone else is that bad yeah yeah no that's really cute yeah it's a nice thing but yeah no I like people opening up to me I feel like even friends as well I like it when they can open up and they can just talk about how they feel or just like something silly like oh yeah like i'm scared to be on i'll varnish because i'm a guy but something silly like that but yeah tell me i'm just like oh that's good but you can talk to me well because they can trust you it shows that you guys have got trust yeah yeah which is the most important thing in a relationship 100%

yeah i think i agree with that actually about like if someone was opening up to me i'd find that really like attractive yeah i think oh well you trust me like you want to tell me yeah yeah i also think a lot of men like don't want to come across as like vulnerable as well so personally i also think that like is an attraction yeah yeah have you ever caught feelings on a first date which i guess is kind of like love at first sight um i mean with Callum yeah but before him no I don't feel like I mean I've never been on a date like properly really well yeah because obviously I met him when I was 16 and then before then like dating wasn't really a thing like going on dates do you go on dates now uh no no Callum well yeah but like yeah yeah yeah no we do we go to like imagine he was like

yeah yeah all the time other people yeah no um we go to like the cinema or we'll just like go out i mean we're quite easy really we just do whatever i mean like even if we just watch a movie at home sometimes i think they're nicer date like daylights inside the house like chilled yeah i don't think i'd want to get up for my first date though not for a first date if someone's saying come over for a first date that's that's a no go for me because you know what they want

but also yeah I've done that and I just think I feel like I want in the beginning obviously I would like effort all the way through the relationship

but I think it's nice just put in effort for a first date well if you can't do it in the beginning you're never going to do it you're never going to do it exactly

yeah it's nice when they like book a table somewhere like meet me here that's nice Callum actually like invited me to a party and then when I got to the party there was like four people there wait and that was like one of the first things you ever did yeah because he invited me to like a party but it wasn't a party it was like him and his friends like two friends I was

like he was like bring Hannah as well I was like oh I got there and I was like oh great party oh god okay so have you ever caught feelings of someone that you shouldn't have caught feelings for probably calum i mean age difference so yeah i just i just don't think the age thing is i don't think it's yeah yeah i feel like maybe social media has more of a problem with it than actual like people in real life if that makes sense like online 12 year olds are like oh yeah even though their parents like 10 years age gap but yeah I think it just depends what situation you're in right oh yeah like where you live you're working exactly like you have your own place with your

friends like it's so different to even when I was 17 like I was at home with my family still like yeah I was still working full-time and that's even remotely different to some of my best friends were still in college whatever so like we all have different experiences at different ages so I think it really just depends what situation you're in but I think that's why a lot of people would judge is because most people who are that age aren't working and probably haven't left home so that probably is why you know they have this whole yeah I mean it probably wouldn't have worked if I was still living with my parents. So had you moved out before you'd met him?

No, no, no. But I used to always go over to his. Right, okay. But my mum and my stepdad used to be really strict with who came over and stuff. And so I feel like it just wouldn't have worked because I feel like, I don't know. Once he came over to my dad's and obviously my family were there.

And so I feel like because a lot of my, I'm like one of the oldest, you know what I mean? And so all the cousins are really young. And so obviously because I grew up with them, I hang out with them, right? Because you hang out with your cousins when you go see them. And then he was like, this is really weird because these are all like children. And I was like yeah call them I'm sorry but I don't know he felt really weird because obviously with them obviously I'm talking about stuff they would talk about because like my cousin still go to school and stuff like that so

I'll talk about that and he was just a bit like awkward about that and stuff okay so was it awkward with meeting your family then um overall no but with like my younger cousins yeah like okay how is it now um yeah no it's good yeah no and have you met his family as well oh yeah no i always go to his family how quickly do you think like you should meet the family because we always talk about this and for you i feel like you do it a lot quicker than me yeah i've never introduced anyone to my mom yeah that i find crazy yeah i've just it's not that there's never really been but then yeah you've never like but for some part of the last guy you're speaking to you've never actually spoke to somebody for a long period of time that's why and for me like

if i'm going to introduce someone to my mom like that's like you know because my mom's gonna let me forget about it so i need to make sure it's someone worse like me my mom joining me see i i have always introduced people to my family quickly because their opinion matters to me quite a lot so that's why but saying that I feel like I'm going to stop doing that now Why are you going to stop doing it?

I want to stop doing it just because I feel like it's going to get to the point where my family are going to make no effort because they can't be bothered because they're going to think I was another guy that we're meeting again. Do you know what I mean? Because I can't just every guy I date meet my family. But it's because I'm so close to my family.

So that's why. So like I see them every day. So I'm like, why not? Why not just come over? I live three hours away from my mum now. Yeah. So if I had to travel to my parents, it'd be different, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. But so yeah. So how long, how long how like how long did you wait um i mean cam's not actually properly met my mum oh wow okay i guess that will happen at her 50th because i'm gonna go see her at her birthday party so i'll probably bring him so that's gonna be like her big because he's never met my like stepsisters he's met my brother he's met my like full brother but he's never actually met my stepsisters or anything um yeah and i think he's met my dad like twice maybe but i go over to his house and his family and see his family all the time like i go to his grandma's and she'll have a cup of tea with her and just talk about life oh right okay so you met his family before he met yours yeah yeah right and so did he wait a long time um maybe like yeah maybe actually maybe like four months i guess i don't know if that's a long time to you guys no well i mean well yeah i was speaking to someone for seven months i think most people would say that's

actually quite quick what four months yeah yeah because i mean like we're making out i'm like introducing them after two weeks i'm still waiting like three four oh yeah so i feel like that's still actually quite quick but then i know someone actually though who met their parents on the first date like after they went home and like he introduced her to his parents because he was so sure on her oh stop that's actually really cute please tell me they're still together no oh that's really sad anymore oh stop it when he wasn't oh god that's sad i don't know that really really gave me like a lot of wow give me the feels okay so let's talk love languages okay so there's five love languages words of affirmation quality time receiving gifts acts of service and physical touch what do you think your love language is I think it's a lot of things um I mean like I'm not a very like huggy person with my friends I mean sometimes but not really I kind of don't like

people touching me unless I'm like romantically like saying them do you know what I mean yeah so I guess touch I guess um but I love giving people gifts like it's really bad like I just love it so much like I just do you prefer giving rather than receiving yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah see I'm not opposite I'm agree with you on the giving not uh rather than receiving yeah but I'm so the opposite in the sense of like i love physical touch but like either even to the point where like my mom could vouch when i lived at home i swear i would at least three times a day just go and give my mom a hug i always see you do that you just go all the time you go like love you or something like that yeah like i just i'm just so obsessed with like i don't know god it's so

cringe but like yeah i think physical touch is just like i just love it so much to the point where like my even my parents god this makes me sound so single they're like they used to be like jesus christ you've hugged me like three times already i think that's sweet though is it that's sweet i hate giving hugs really see i think my love language like one of them is definitely physical touch as well i feel like it's just nice to be like intimate with your partner yeah exactly like and i also what about pda to an extent i can do pda if it's just me and him and not friends but if my friends are around then i'm like go away right okay okay so like okay right if you were in like full-on public i don't know and you started like making out would you just make out like in leicester square yeah no no not making out like maybe like a kiss or

like a hug oh yeah i think i know i need that like i need that yeah but like i'm not gonna start making out with them in the middle yeah i hate it when you see someone like literally i've seen honestly people like basically grinding on each other in the streets and i'm like you just need to get a room i just think you have no shame like doing it in pub like i don't know it's not even no shame but it's like just go and get like why are you here just go and get a room because they block everybody else out yeah yeah like you can really tell they're so to be fair i probably have actually like made out with someone in public before i've definitely probably have i probably have a few times i say i don't want to but it

sounds bad but i feel like when i'm doing it's fine but when i see other people doing it i'm like oh well exactly because you have to block it out yeah that's why i'm not like grinding on anybody though but i'm no oh my god no that is like way too far um but words as well actually is like one of my things too if they're not calling me like the cutest like obviously i hate the baby voice not the baby voice do you do baby voice not really not like properly that means yes that means yes like i feel like everyone does i'm sorry but i feel like everyone does every couple i know does but not like on purpose they don't i heard molly major on her youtube channel like i feel like not properly not properly like full like a little bit like my voice will be

a little softer okay yeah I'm his voice but I'll be like oh yeah okay yeah so not like a full-blown baby voice but like yeah just get like soft I've had like I was with someone when I was younger who used to and I I was literally like I'm I'm gonna have to break up with you because like I can't I can't do it unless you stop and you didn't stop and had to end it like i just couldn't do it yeah i think a guy if they spoke to me in a baby voice it would give me majorly yeah no one's ever done that to me really they were like every single guy i've been with apart from calum has done it like every single one tell me why tell me really because yeah every single one of them do you know what's crazy though and i i hate i hate this and i actually don't even believe it but my mum claims to me in my first relationship i used to always do this baby voice me and my

boyfriend and i don't remember it oh i don't remember doing it you did no i don't think you did you did it in some youtube videos that makes chapstick challenge no honestly i was not doing the baby voice but you definitely did you used to do like a voice oh god that that makes me feel physically sick it's on the internet if anyone wants to go watch it okay so i don't mean the baby voice but i mean like being called like nice things we speak about this all the time what's the one thing you love a guy calling you because i think mine would be darling darling yeah i like that but like as long as they're not calling anyone else when i first meet them i like them calling me darling if calum call me darling now i'll be like oh go away really i feel like at first it's quite nice but i don't feel like it's a long time

i don't like it okay so what's the long term word um i don't know i don't think we really call each other i call him cow because right okay yeah it's just like a nickname yeah but that's about it have you got any nicknames for like past relationships or current ones like no i had a few but never like never cringy things like you know when i wish mine wasn't cringy i wish mine weren't what's this cow isn't cringy no no because okay so yeah I call him cow but we have like oh god they may call each other but it's got like a meaning behind it okay but also okay the thing is is that my friends always catch up on like what I say like the terms that I say because I say I have a couple nicknames for just random things and my friends always catch up on

it like they'll say they'll start saying it as well and so so me and my boyfriend call each other like beanie like sometimes i'm sorry i feel like it but do you know what it's horrible no it's okay you could tell me it's horrible because i don't have someone else calling their boyfriend or girlfriend that i'll be like no go away from me i don't think beanie's the worst because no i actually don't i've heard worse i i think the worst sort of names i'm sorry smelly who calls someone a lot of people call their boyfriends or girlfriends smelly i hate when people call i hate when people call their like girlfriends or boyfriends like love bug or like do you know i mean things like that like beanie isn't any better like no beanie is better

than love bug that i'd give you i mean things like that is too much yeah whereas beanie actually could be like a nickname for yeah a name maybe yes whereas love bug can not no and that's too far that's calling the line if a guy calls me once love bug he's out the door okay so obviously we've said love language is words of affirmation do you think that when you're in a relationship you kind of have to change your love language to suit the other person do you think you need to match their love language like i feel like sometimes because personally i've been with people who have a completely different love language to me and i don't it doesn't work yeah every time i've had that is that, I fully agree with what you're saying.

Yeah. Every time they've had a different love language to me, it's never worked out. It doesn't work. And then I feel like, well, obviously you weren't the right person, but they've not made any effort to try and change their love language. But I also think if they have to try and change it as well, then that's not really like how they feel. Do you know what I mean?

They're then forcing, they're then forcing that then forcing doing that yeah like imagine telling somebody that doesn't like hugging or like cuddling or touching you to constantly touch you they don't want to do it so they're now forced to do it and then that makes you feel shit because that's your love language and you know why don't they want to do it and now they're only doing it because i've asked them yeah and that's even worse yeah i feel like you do have to have the same you have to be on the same wavelength with your language yeah i agree with that one yeah okay so we saw this fact on twitter and it says the love language preferred by most people is quality time 38 percent rank this is top tier love language i think it's important i think it's really important not too much though and you know what I've learned this with Callum because I'm very much the type of person even with friends

like if I meet a new friend I want to see them all the time or like with my best friends I want to see them all the time same goes when I'm in a relationship and I feel like Callum's the first person that has actually stopped that because it's not it's not a good thing all the time like to see someone that you like or especially when you a good thing all the time like to see someone that you like or especially when you first meet them all the time like I don't think it's healthy but I used to so I would always get upset because I'd always want to see him and he'll be like no just like wait a week because we don't want to like brush things or like get on each other's nerves because we're seeing each other too much so I think it is quite good to have a balance between time apart

and seeing each other I completely agree I feel like because I love my own space so I feel like even the thought of like living with a partner terrifies me because I like everything I don't like to be on my own sometimes do you know what I mean I actually lock myself in my room sometimes yes it's just sometimes you just need a night on your own yeah I don't love that person self-care so i completely agree with you of like spending time apart is like so important yeah so does it change when you're in a relationship well i guess you kind of said that it does well it has for you it's changed but do you think like okay so going back to the moving in with someone do you think that like quality time just completely changes

what when you live with someone i guess so i feel like you're blending your life together like you Do you think that like quality time just completely changes? What, when you live with someone? I guess so, yeah. I feel like you're blending your life together. Like we said, it makes or breaks your relationship. You've got to learn so many new things and so many new habits about them, I guess, as well. Like you're waking up every morning together, going to bed every evening together.

Like, I don't know. Yeah, I've never lived with anyone, so I so i wouldn't know no but you did a lot of long time actually saying that every person i've ever been with yeah i've always spent like weeks with them at times i felt like i lived with them yeah and then i would have but then i'd have like weeks by myself do you prefer i think i'd prefer that it i personally think it's the best thing but i just don't know any different so like i actually love it because i'm like I spend so much time with someone it's so special you like plan all these like things that you're going to do over this course of like a matter of weeks and it's almost like you're living together but then they go and then you get all the time by yourself yeah yeah and it's amazing

yeah me and Cam used to do that before he started uni we'd always like do two weeks at each other's houses or like apart but you know that worked a lot but obviously he's in uni now so yeah okay so let's talk about love I'm gonna assume you have been in love yeah before who said it first um oh my gosh it's so bad because I can't remember and I actually can't remember when we said it to each other I think we're outside like he used to be in a house called the icon house oh yeah from yes yeah and so I just remember it was like outside the bathroom but I don't remember like when or who said it first but I remember someone said it I think it might be me you know but I'm not 100%

but yeah I love that because I thought there's such a stigma but like with girls saying it first personally I would like the boy to say it to me first but i think that's just because i'm insecure and i want to know it's like do you know what i mean i mean the only reason i'd want a guy to say it first is because i would be scared that they wouldn't say it back you know what that's the only reason so one of my friends i won't say who but she was in a relationship and her boyfriend said i love you but she didn't want to say it back she wasn't ready and she waited six months to say it to him again like he didn't say it to her again because he was like i don't want to make you feel uncomfortable and say it but then like when she

said it she was like i genuinely do feel it now like right because i said to her that must have been so awkward at first yeah because i just think if i told someone i love them and it's still a month gone by and they haven't told me i i would yeah i just i don't think i'd be able to i'd be so upset callum i think it was me who said it first but i'm not 100 but i know one of us didn't say it back because i think oh really because it wasn't at the same time because i feel like i remember it then i think it was at a distance like a couple weeks apart or something okay i don't think it was at the same time i don't think we said i love you and then i love you too do you know what i mean really i don't think that's how it went I'll have to

do you know what I find crazy is the fact that you don't remember because I feel like if I was in a relationship whoever said I love you first oh I'm remembering that yeah me too like I don't know why I feel like I'm I'm very much I love you is quite an easy word for me to say and I don't I don't know why but I feel like I didn't love him as much as I do now when I said it and I feel like maybe I didn't mean it back then actually but I do yeah when I said now I do yeah be fair in the past I've actually done that I've told someone I love them when I I now look back I well I actually think a few months later I realized I actually did love them but at the time I just said it because like you I actually find it quite easy thing to say

do you but but now I wouldn't just because i'm old and i know it would mess with so many people's feelings i wouldn't say it yeah now yeah but at the time when i was younger i found it really easy to say i don't know why i feel it's so like easy to say i don't know why i think it's such an exciting thing to want to feel as well and be like you know yeah like do you know what i mean i think for me it's gonna take me a while yeah to say well because yeah actually being in love with someone is so different but i think maybe i don't know about you but i say i love you to my friends every single day me too yeah so i think maybe that's why i just find it such an easy thing even with my friends my family that i meet the first day i'm like oh i love you so much yeah

yeah so that's probably that's probably what it is yeah it's an easy thing for me to say to friends but to boys i think i'm gonna take it a bit more seriously try I'm not gonna chuck it around because I feel like I don't know when they say it to me I want to be really special yeah yeah yeah I don't want to just be like I mean Callum tried to do that he tried to do the whole special thing and it ended up worse oh really I mean yeah like because um he wanted to like ask me out and make it all special and then we just just were, like, talking about it. And then we decided we were together now. So it wasn't really special.

But I guess it is because, I don't know. It wasn't as special. I feel like the idea of asking someone out or telling someone you love them is, like, very, like, hard to actually act out. Because I feel like you have to plan that stuff or like when you want to ask them out but I feel like with most cases it's just it comes in casually yeah I guess sometimes it's nice just doing it casually yeah unless you're getting married then you have to plan that yeah I'd like a nice proposal yeah let's go RBC Avion Visa lets you get there your way. Whether you want to...

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Hey you. Yeah, you. Scrolling TikTok and avoiding your chem homework? Chegg here. Hot take. You've seen enough Bama Rush, ASMR keyboard, and viral dance videos for one day. Let's lock in and start that assignment. If you need a little help, lean on Chegg's expert-supported learning tools. I say this with love. Put on some lo-fi beats and get going with our step-by-step study support. Your weekend will thank you. Small steps today means big wins tomorrow with Chegg. Subscribe today. you got this we want to read your dms yeah we always read our guest dms obviously it's called sex slides and dm slides so this is our favorite part of the podcast which one do you want to see it's completely up to you do i show you or do i just read it out? It's up to you.

Hold on. Okay, I'll read it out because it's a bit messy actually. Okay. Okay. So I actually, okay, we're going to start like least interesting. This is just a hate DM. Okay. But basically I bleached my eyebrows like a couple weeks ago maybe was it?

I don't know, like two weeks ago. I decided to bleach my eyebrows. Do you know who Amelia Gray is? Yes. I feel like I know the name. Okay, Amelia Gray. She's like a new upcoming top model. Do you know what I mean?

She's like the next Bella Hadid. And she has bleached eyebrows and dark hair. So I was like, I want to try that. Well, it's quite a trend at the moment, bleached eyebrows. I'm actually living for bleached eyebrows. I would like it. I like it. I would like it on myself. Someone I saw did it the other day they look so good really some light

enough not so bad like yellow do you know what's funny though is when i get my eyebrows dyed i love it look like more than ever like the dark yeah when they're really dark so i'm like i don't know if it would give the same because i love like Cara Delevingne dark eyebrows yeah like dark dark brows yeah so yeah I don't know I'll be doing it my friends got them at the moment she loves them so much but I hated mine because I just look like I look very ill so I was just like I'm gonna put them back but um you know I thought I was gonna look like Amelia Gray and I did not and so someone was that she like that is terrifying and I was really sad because I was like I don't think I look that bad but um I feel like do these comments get to you no no I feel like they used to but not anymore

but now they just you just yeah whatever yeah I feel like it's one of those things that when you're on social media you just actually learn to deal with it yeah sadly really sadly it's just part of the job yeah we have to put up with yeah 100 but yeah no i got a lot of hate comments about that and a lot of dms just people saying you look ugly or like stop it i feel like people do have like a love hate thing though with the bleached eyebrows yeah like every time i see someone bleaching their eyebrows there's so much love and there's so much hate in the comments yeah like they were good with makeup but i i don't really like doing a full face every single day and so I feel like if I woke up and I saw myself like that I think I'm proud I'm just doing it for my own well-being to keep them brown now but um let me see if I can find

it anymore I once got a dm of someone asking me to find their parents in Paris so wait what so they're like oh my mom and dad are going to be in paris and i saw that you're in paris so could you go find them and so they sent me like a picture of their parents like i guess they were expecting me to go and go say that is so weird no i've had a dm before from a girl and she knew that i was in the same place as her boyfriend and she sent me a picture of her boyfriend saying can you keep an eye on him tonight really and i can't remember who i was with i think i was with all my friends and I showed everyone the picture

and I was like, well, this is the boy. Like, if we see him. And I messaged her like, don't worry, babe, I've got your back. Like, I replied to her saying, don't be afraid. To be fair,

that's actually quite good going. That's very nice of you to reply. Oh, yeah, because I just thought, well, I was like, I mean, that I get. But the parents, I'm not sure. The whole of Paris,

I have to look. So I don so i don't yeah it's such a weird thing that's very odd get a lot of people trying to hit you up um it depends really i think i just get more weird dms like i've got one here from someone called marty but hello princess you're beautiful god bless you and protect your family big. I get so much about my feet because I'm somehow number one on wikifeet.com. Just don't even ask. I'm also on the website. We had a look the other day. It's just terrible.

And footfetish.com. It's something like that. I'm number one apparently. Oh my God. Like worldwide. It's absolutely disgusting. Oh my God. So I get so many things.

Not that I upload pictures of my feet, just so you're aware. You should be monetizing that. I know. I could be could be making so much money honestly one of my friends took a picture of my feet the other day and I was like I can actually sell this and I was like well you're not because you're my mate and you're not they just screenshot like pictures of your toes don't they and then put on the website it's very odd that's very strange how do they get them do they just like go through your youtube yeah but to be fair like I don't have a problem with feet so like I feel like I always post myself in sl with feet so like I feel like I always post myself in sliders

and stuff like I just don't care yeah I actually think I have quite nice feet so I've got I've got a few people

trying to cheat their shot oh yeah okay go on this one says okay so he's replied three times he's replied once to a picture of a boat

saying let's go then I'm taking you then he's replied again saying would you allow for me to introduce myself properly then he's replied once to a picture of a boat saying let's go then i'm taking you then he's replied again saying would you allow for me to introduce myself properly then he's put another one don't want to be weird but may as well shoot my shot one more time seems that you probably get thousands of these day but can i tempt you with coming on a date with me lol he really wants to go on a date he wants to oh he's just replied to another definition of perfect without being creepy oh cute i mean it's kind of i mean it's yeah how old does he look um the guy he looks 20 something you got a new boyfriend yeah i don't think so if you actually imagine

if i was like oh my god and then this is the moment you caught on camera i can confirm i don't think i will be okay not gonna lie girls not gonna lie this one says oh my god it's like oh yeah my god those boobs i'm hard saffron then the next one to another story says i'm coming to another story i've got that face is delicious love blowing my load on your face oh that's reminding me i've got to say something after this you go first what do you mean you go first they're all just gross really the list the list just goes on so he, look, look, look how many stories he's applied to. So I had a DM once and it was a guy and he'd taken a picture of his phone

and it was a picture of me on the phone and he like came on his phone. Oh my God. That is disgusting. That is disgusting. That was really romantic. It probably took a long time to edit that as well. What do you mean? I didn't know it was real.

Oh, wait, what? No, he was kind of like real. Yeah, it was real. Like he'd finished on his phone, took a picture of me, and then taken a photo of it and sent it to me. Oh, that makes me feel sick. Why are people like that?

I don't know that. That was probably the weirdest deal I've ever got, actually. Yeah, I know. I'm glad I don't get that stuff. Have you guys ever checked your, if you have a Reddit thread? What's that? No, I don't even know what that is. so i've heard about reddit but i don't know what it is like you probably don't want to check but i had i have a thread and it's just of loads of boys it's about 40 or 50 people in this group and they have like group wanks over my new photos oh you're

joking you probably you probably have got one but i was genuinely i've never i've never heard of i was genuinely gobsmacked i will show you after and that's that's just what the website is made for no reddit's like a just a website i don't know i don't use it but loads of people use reddit it's like a forum thing i think never really used it other than looking at this but it's just like instagram pictures of me or they'll go online they're like is anybody online ready for a wank my gosh oh you're joking it's so weird that is disgusting yeah so girl just let you know you might have a reddit thread oh lovely and you know what we're both gonna do check it yeah i want to see mine let's go

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and what they like so someone said affection but only in private I hate PDA but love a cuddle in private couldn't agree more

yeah I love that PDA's really not well well no I think yeah I mean i'm not fully against pda i like a little like a cuddle from behind in public nice kiss on the forehead yeah that's nice oh my god you love it when the guy just gently like you're only like makes you go first puts his hand down wow yeah how can i explain it about the video you know i know what you mean

but the simple things i love that so someone had this is someone else's but gift giving the most over-the-top outrageous displays of affection i mean i don't mind it yeah yeah i'm not against yeah but i feel like my reaction's really bad but if someone gets really my reaction's so bad i don't know what to say would you get awkward yeah very obviously i don't because i feel like i need to have a really good reaction and then i overthink the reaction and then it comes out really bad right okay i did love it i promise i do get nervous opening presents in front of people i wave third i mean no there is sometimes i've been i would be embarrassed if

there's a massive group of people there but if it's just me and one person i don't get awkward yeah okay so what if someone did like an outrageous display of affection for you what is that well i mean i would love it but also to me that is that isn't the most important thing in the slightest yeah that's like one of the like least important things yeah but i'm not gonna sit here and be like oh i wouldn't want somebody to do that for me yeah i would completely be lying you know what i really want the whole rose petals on a bed situation valentine's yeah like i would love that but i want that not on valentine's day i want it because i just want to do it every day yeah i want it because i just want to do it i just i would love that the whole

balloons on the ceiling i think it just seems so fun i always see on social media i'm like oh that's so like that is really cute yeah but this is the thing using it on social media and social media half it's alive yeah that is very true yeah they photoshop the balloons on the ceiling it's not real and as the last person said words of affirmation like you look lovely today or i love your makeup yeah that that is number one for me i like it when guys notice like the little things yeah oh i like your nail color or like oh you actually look nice today what like personal things i think yeah also calum's really honest so if i don't look good then he'll be like right you need to fix that i know oh really when he says i look good then i actually then it actually means something yeah

see i love people that are honest as well so like i would obviously if my boyfriend you look shit i'll be like cheers yeah if he was like if that's obviously different i don't know i've been all right babe yeah yeah but yeah i'd prefer if they sit like very honest and then it does mean more when they do actually yeah menu yeah i never really thought about that but yeah that's actually so true so to end this podcast, we always ask, what is some piece of advice that you'd give to anybody listening at home? Obviously you're in a happy relationship. So I guess just like anything

that we've spoken about, I guess. I don't really know like what, we covered kind of a lot to be honest. Yeah. Catching feelings, love languages. Basically the best piece of advice you have for our listeners um regarding relationships probably just i don't know if you like someone tell them just tell them even if they might not like you back just tell them

life's too short do you do you never play hard to get um i've tried to and just does not work i mean right yeah so like literally the first day me come matt um he tried to kiss me and i didn't kiss him and then like two hours later i did so like i tried that worked i felt like you mean it didn't work because you couldn't yeah but yeah no i did try okay so if you like someone go for it that's the advice just love it tell them to share it. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you too. So nice to be on.

Sex Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify original podcast produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tanner and Kate Willis as the producers. And from Spotify, the executive producer is rihanna coleman