Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 18: Toxic masculinity, should men pay on the first date & dating red flags in women with Ehiz Ufuah

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Ehiz joins us this week to chat toxic masculinity - how to embrace your flamboyance and refusing to conform to macho stereotypes when dating women and his ideal date scenario. He gives his two cents on red flags and the age-old debate of who should pay on a first date... and of course we couldn't resist diving into his DMs! Produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tannor and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify the Executive Producer is Rhyanna Coleman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit connectsontario.ca. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings make free. Eligibility and member terms apply. Hi, everyone. So on on today's episode we were joined with actor and content creator ahiz and we have had the loveliest conversation ever i have really thoroughly enjoyed this episode i feel like it's been really like eye-opening funny but also like i feel like we've actually had a deep and like meaningful conversation i've really enjoyed it

me too i like it because it's from a male perspective as well which is something that we haven't had as much on the podcast it's interesting to hear his side of things as well yeah i'm very excited i think you guys are going to thoroughly enjoy this episode so let's just dive straight into it let's go welcome here's the podcast hello you're how are you i'm good how are you i'm honored to be here by the way are you excited i'm very excited guys if you um are new to this podcast or like if you've been like a regular viewer these girls are literally killing it right now no because look i knew we got you on for a reason no no no no no no no

no no no no no word of a lie right you guys obviously you're young you're successful you've got your house you know

you're booked busy do you know what I mean it's very motivating because I've been watching you guys since like 2013 so seeing you grow up I can't believe that

you know how's Julie Pam how's Akiko you know how's Casey Wendy no honestly I love it i love it okay stop definitely did his research right before he came in i love it i love it so cute i love it so much no honestly

we um we're we're honored to have you here so thank you so much for coming on so yeah so let's uh let's first like talk about actually you guys already met before we've met quite a few times but i don't remember the first time we met i think was it sitzy oh it might have been that would have been years ago it would have and then and then also i met you both at the um molly may plt event yeah novikov yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i bumped into you briefly again was it bbc was it bbc i was we were somewhere and you bumped into callum oh no wireless wireless i knew it was a festival yeah so we've all met but just really at events yeah yeah yeah really that's how it really is in this industry really like you just bump because with me i don't

really go out that much so when i do like meet other creators and like other like influencers or whatever it's usually at events yeah um and that's how it really is a lot of the time really yeah yeah do you like going to events though do you know what i i would love to but i just don't go to that much only because like i really had a really bad management before and i just wasn't being invited or i probably was being invited but i just wasn't getting the emails yeah so i'm going on everyone's stories seeing them at premieres seeing them at events and i'm like where is my invite yeah like i should be you know and a lot of people but you should be there do you know what i mean it's so it's so frustrating like you know when getty comes i'm like you know just show a bit of shoulder

something like that i'm like yeah i'm really like i have worked so hard i'm like why am i not here but like even a lot of my friends would be like and he's like you you're never out i'm really like i have worked so hard i'm like why am i not here but like even a lot of my friends would be like and he's like you you're never out i'm like talk to my management i just don't know why but obviously that's done new leaf yeah new team new year new chapter we're like every level i forgot to say all is again yeah so on the topic of that talk to us a little bit how you got started okay so i actually started uh social media back around 2011 2012 so like i was doing youtube at school at the time youtube was like very cringe like nobody really wanted to do it so like everyone i remember one time you know those like interactive boards at school yeah like i remember my teacher went to use a

toilet and then someone put my videos on someone did did that to me. I remember you said it. You said it, I remember. Someone did that to me. What boards? You know the boards with like the projector? Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, it was just crazy. Like everyone was bullying me for it, saying, oh, like you're just weird, da, da, da, da, da.

But it's funny now, because not everyone wants to be an influencer, but it's like, jokes on you. Yeah, literally. Yeah. I felt like we all went through that stage though. Like even, I can't think what year I must've started YouTube youtube either 2014 or 15 but i mean i got so much shit yeah like i definitely wouldn't sit here and say

i got bullied i didn't get bullied but like to a certain i got really picked on like it was constant like just people like taking the piss like all the time and it is funny how now it's like people want to be it more than anything but And it is funny how now it's like, people want to be it more than anything. Back then it wasn't as mainstream. Like it was really just kind of like the Brit crew. That's who it was. It was like Zoe, Joe, everyone wanted to be there.

It wasn't like everybody else. Whereas now I feel like it's a lot more accepting. And obviously, I mean, back then I wasn't getting jobs. Jobs weren't a thing. You know what it is? It's so crazy because like now, like when it comes to brands and things like that, brands are now using, you know, TikTok it's so crazy because like now like when it comes to brands and things like that brands are now using you know tiktok instagram snapchat youtube now as their way of making money and before like you said you know you weren't really going on brand trips like how people are

doing it now there wasn't those like brand activations and campaigns you know again like everyone was watching like zoe zoe zoella joe and all of them like that and now it's like everybody now wants to get on it and it's just so crazy how the table's turned because like i was bullied for it at school and like literally battered to the ground and now i'm getting messages oh my gosh you remember me from school get lost like actually get lost you know what i mean but it's honestly like i've never stopped like even though like social media wasn't working for me at all like back then like i never really grew or anything like that i'm just so happy that like i stuck to it because when i say hard work

it pays off sometimes yeah like sometimes i'm believing in yourself as well yeah i feel like even with me like i've always and i think i get this from my mom she's always saying that like you know you need to push and work your hardest because in this industry like me so to speak especially in this industry being a black creator it's very very hard getting brand deals you know trying to get yourself out there and i was like yeah do you know what i'm just gonna really push because i know somehow like god didn't give me this talent for nothing i'm like somehow you know what i mean like somehow and like now like even when i came back because i went to paris fashion week last week and even when the lady was checking my wooden plush she goes i love your videos i'm like oh thanks you

know i remember i was on the street once i think i was going to burger king or something and i heard someone saying hey tiktok tiktok i'm like oh you're right so again i'm international so honestly but i love it i love it honestly it's the most amazing feeling and just knowing that like i've inspired so many people like i get goosebumps because it's like people say you know you really helped me during quarantine and stuff and it's like i'm only just doing this in my room you know i've got a packet of pringles and i'm just chilling i'm just enjoying myself and then boom like i'm changing people's lives like you are but also like you've just said yourself how much hard work it is like people don't realize right you've been doing it since

2011 yeah although you didn't blow up then that's how long it's taken you and i think people don't see that yeah i think everyone's very quick to say our job is very easy and in a sense you know it can be deemed as easy in comparison to some other jobs but if it's easy why is everyone not doing it you know i mean it's and also going back to that like it's easy in different ways like yeah don't get me wrong our job is nowhere physically as hard as if you were someone like a builder or something but like mentally it's hard i feel like with this job you don't ever switch off in the sense of like we don't have a nine to five yeah like at 7 p.m at 9 p.m whatever time it is doesn't matter

we're like still having to be like every time i go out even if i went clubbing i'm so aware of the fact that everyone's watching me everyone's talking about me like i don't literally mean everyone obviously i'm not saying i'm you know what i mean but you have to be like you have to be so aware and your brain's never switching off so i feel like that's how our job is hard in that sense yeah it's true i also feel like digital footprint's real. You have to be very careful what you put online. You have to be very careful because I feel like people will do anything in their power

to try and get some sort of fame or clout off somebody. And it's like, even when you have like a following, no matter how big it is, it could be 800K, it could be, you know, 8 million, it could be whatever. You have an audience and your face is out there. And I was even thinking the other day, sometimes I just have my own thoughts. When I drive, I think a lot and i was thinking i'm like wow like when i'm asleep people around the world are still watching me like people's eyes are on me and it's

in a way it's a bit scary it's a bit scary because it's like you actually like you actually even though even if you want to be a private person at the same time you can't because it's like you can be private to a certain extent but at the same time you can't because it's like you can be private to a certain extent but at the same time like you know everybody knows who you are like as in when i go out now it's like if i have a mask on it's not because of me trying to protect myself over covid because there's i'm going to be honest there's times i just don't want to talk to people i just want to just go about my day and just go home that's why i love my gym because my gym is literally just the quietest place and i could just do my thing and get out i've been watching your fitness journey by the way i'm

i feel very proud of you i appreciate it i do you know what is gym for me is my therapy it really really is me too i feel you when i tell you when i first started gym for me gym was so it was literally like torture for me like i hated it like the pain the discomfort but it was bittersweet because at the same time you felt so rejuvenated and so refreshed listen you never regret a workout this is what i try telling people you don't she knows how much i love it she's like great on the gym like three times in my life you know honestly but i tell you right now like the moment you like make it a habit you you will love it you will love it you will love it yeah i'll take your word for it yeah i'm not gonna try it but okay going back to social media yeah you made a rap about toxic masculinity yes and i've listened to it several

times talk to us a little bit about that okay cool so basically last year was it last year no the year before bbc reached out and they were like we want to work with um you know a few creators um and just talk about different topics that is close to them. And when I actually did, was doing the whole, like the making of it, it was very bittersweet because like it was really, really fun. And I worked with amazing people on the team. There was a guy, I forgot his name. So, so bad at me, but he basically, he was even on sex education as well, but he basically also helped write the, the, the rap as well um it was so crazy because we literally it's like we filmed it no we went to the studio filmed it on a went to the studio on a friday filmed it on a

saturday so it was actually back to back it was crazy i'm like oh this i'm booked uh but yeah but i'm like yeah it was crazy but when i did when i was like you know putting ideas together like i actually did you write it together so we basically wrote like different uh verses and then like over time because it was still like we're still kind of going through like covid at the time so we a lot of them was like it was like zoom calls and then there was moments we actually came together and actually like put like things together and when i was actually like on my own when i was doing it there was actually moments i actually cried because i was like it was bringing back memories of school and i don't want to get emotional it was bringing back memories of school because obviously like at school i went to a little boy school and it was really really tough

being you know with me i had to come to terms that you know i'm not this stereotypical masculine guy out there and you know you know i have you know i am quite flamboyant and you know i'm very very expressive and you know it definitely like really knocked my confidence down but at the same time when i was rapping and saying these lyrics i'm not a rapper but obviously if you want to sign me sony music you know you know call my line uh but when i was rapping it like i felt this adrenaline of like freedom and anger at the same time because it was like i was i was like it was like a diary you know all your thoughts that you could actually just let out. You know, you like vent out to somebody. And I was like, any single time I look back, I'm like, I did that.

I did that. And you know, I had a lot of people like commend me and say, you know, thank you so much for like, you know, sharing this. Because obviously we know that you do like funny content online. But at the same time, it was also nice to see and have an insight of how you were able

to still be comedic, but also still be educational at the same time. That's exactly what I thought. You put a comedic spin on it, but it got across such an important and good message and then also um the lady um who i worked with um danny um love you girl uh from beggy pictures she said she got like a report back and she said that my project that i did like was like at the top and i was like what because it was so fast-paced I didn't really think I'm like okay cool yeah we're doing this thing yeah yeah probably get a couple

views she goes yeah but the engagement rates were really really high because people don't talk about this enough like you hear about it a lot it's like oh yeah toxic masculinity feminism but it's like when you have a creator who doesn't like as myself who doesn't really speak about like a lot of topics like that and just bring something out like that it's like oh where did this come from so yeah but I really enjoyed it it was an amazing experience and for me it was I every now and then I do look at it and my family are the most amazing people they're so supportive any single time because we have a smart tv in our house so sometimes I could just be minding my business and I just hear my voice and it's like can you guys like stop now um yeah but honestly like it was the most amazing experience and for me like i always cherish it because it was it was very empowering

for me speaking about like you know different topics that and things that you know men go through like you know the rates for like male suicide like in the uk i was gonna say this yeah it's very very high so high and even like my younger brother as well like when he was at school like you know he's a very quiet boy and he doesn't really like um you know talk much um obviously he's very comfortable but he's very comfortable with who he's around with but you know you know when he was at school you know he was bullied you know for his weight and everything like that and i never really understood i'm very like i always want to do what i can to help but sometimes when i can't get through to somebody i get really impatient but it's out of love you know and you know as i've gotten older and as he's getting

older you know um our relationship is getting stronger and you know he's now left school now he's in college you know he's found good friends um and it goes down to that toxic masculinity because it's a thing where it's like if you talk about it like you know does that make you more or less of a man and it's like no you can actually have these conversations because people want to know and you don't know who you're helping like me doing that video i didn't know how many people was it was uplifting the amount of dms i got from guys telling me that i've really helped their confidence like to me it's it's like goosebumps because like i'm only i'm i didn't have any agenda to like you know be an oprah winfrey or do like a ted talk i'm like

i'm just doing this out of fun but at the same time i didn't realize the impact it had but it was amazing it was great yeah wow yeah yeah you know i've listened to it so many times we probably know okay great okay hold on it says lyrics here but there's no okay it's not okay i think it goes around something like because i mean i love my fashion so much and i feel like in london so to speak when it comes to fashion all like boys know is air force ones and then like ripped jeans and they're like a white top no like experiment do something more do you know what I mean yeah so I said something along the lines of um oh there's two bits the first one is I'm gonna walk the street I'm gonna walk the street how I feel I'm gonna walk the street cause I'm real I'm gonna walk the street click clack like a cat cat walk savage in my Celine Hills because actually I got a pair of Celine Hills and they're so lit like when you like walk down the street you hear the click clack click clack

clack oh you feel like you're the best in the room right and then also there was oh then it went back to school when I was in school there was doing yappa yappa yappa everyone's everybody's making noise fast forward now it's 2021 man's out there struggling unemployed wow that was serious and it's funny because a lot of people at my school who obviously tried me they're at a standstill and you know what i don't wish negative but that is the consequences of your actions do you know what though usually i think just going back to like school as well normally it's the people that are like really trying to bring others down that end up being the least successful just because they're too worried and spending too much time on other people when they're not focusing on themselves i think that's

why yeah but it is interesting how you said you went to a boy's school because i feel like going to an all-boy school definitely like around that whole topic like i just feel like would have been so hard it would it would and like I've got five siblings and three of them three of my sisters they went to an all-girls school which was literally like a 10-minute walk down the road and was it for any reason or just because they were the closest school no because what it is in my borough in London basically I went to a Catholic school primary Catholic primary and Catholic secondary and basically at the time those the Catholic schools in our area were like the best in terms of education.

So like, you know, we didn't have any money or anything to go to private school or anything like that. So it was actually like, okay, we want to give you the best. And yeah,

I mean, in terms of like experience, it was honestly like the worst. It was like really dark for me, but I'm quite grateful at the same time. Cause I feel like if I didn't go through what I went through, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing right now. Cause I feel like if i didn't go through what i went through i wouldn't be doing what i'm doing right now yeah because i feel like if i didn't go through the bullying aspect of school i would not i don't think i'll be able

to handle the hate online like with me right now i'm when i tell you like no word of like i'm so numb call me whatever name you want to say under the sun okay cool what's next yeah you know i feel like as horrendous as it is when you're younger it almost shapes you to be like who you are when you're older yeah like there's actually a Chinese saying it's like it's in their culture basically they have like pottery that's broken and if it's broken it's actually not broken basically what it is they put liquid gold to put them back together and you see the cracks and those cracks basically show the beauty of the imperfections and when I saw it on my my mom sends me reels all the time and she it resurfaced and

she sent it to me i literally burst out crying because it just reminds me of like you know as human beings we're so we're beautiful beings and we're so creative and i feel like obviously people around us in circumstances you know sometimes subconsciously make us like doubt our self-worth and i feel like it's really important to realize that we're all made and important in god's image and that's why if each and every single one of us are doing amazing things you know so um yeah i feel like going to an all-boys school it was really really tough they say which i'd never understand they feel like if you are in an all-boys school or girls school that allegedly you work well together absolutely not i don't believe that nonsense it just doesn't make any sense to me but i can't

speak for the girls school but for the boys school i definitely would say the toxic masculinity was insane if you're talking about sex if you're talking about how many like girls you know and was you the most popular like group of guys in school if that's kind of like what like what what made you the most popular boy in school so i was i was nowhere near well i was very popular in primary school like literally almost every weekend i was invited to a birthday party or whatever like i had a lot of friends like literally for me if I could go back to primary school I would do it again secondary school was very different because a lot of my female friends they went to the other all-girls school and obviously some of them just moved to different areas of London or the UK um and I went into the new school with a couple friends that I had from primary school but

obviously you know when people get older and they change um it got really really hard and I was very very isolated actually but I was popular for the. And I was very, very isolated actually. But I was popular for the wrong reasons. I was always in fights, but not physical fights specifically, so to speak. It was only like the arguing, the bickering. You know, I did sometimes like school for us started at 8.45. I would deliberately make sure that I didn't get to school on time

just so I avoid all the, you know, when it was lunch, I didn't have anyone to sit with. Like, and when I tell people this, they're like, what? I'm like, yeah, like, this is the reality of my life like even thinking about it sometimes like it really really gets me down and i get into a trance but i'm like no you're better than this like you you've overcome this stuff and it's crazy because a lot of people used to bully me like their siblings are watching me on their mom's ipad yeah well it's true it's amazing it's so crazy you know i've definitely had people reach out to me but like from school and be like oh like how you doing you know how's it going obviously i'm not gonna

answer because if i do answer i'm probably gonna say the wrong things um you know just out of anger but i'm like you know what let me just like let it be they can watch from afar okay so with that in mind obviously on our podcast we like to talk about sex yeah and dating and all the dirty stuff yeah so talk to us about your dating life okay now you know what i've been watching obviously the previous like episodes and i was a bit nervous because when i came on here i'm like my story is so bland there's nothing that goes on but i have a lot of experiences that i deal with and also a lot of my other friends do it so for example with me i have actually never been in a relationship before i've actually either but not even that

i've never been on a date before either really never really never but do you think that's because you seem like a very career driven person so do you think that's why like you've always put your career first and so you know what it is I'm with me I always have told myself that I've like with me I've always wanted to like be a father and have kids like I'm such a family orientated person and when I see my older brother with his kids like I see them as my own like when they come over to the house every now and then you know I really like nurture them and I really feel like this is what this is what I want you know what I mean but the thing is with me I feel like I'm I'm very like you said very very career driven I I also feel like I'm very impatient as well I feel like if there's

someone that I like and I see I feel like oh this is nice and then after that I get into my like I'm very impatient as well. I feel like if there's someone that I like and I see, I feel like, oh, this is nice. And then after that, I get into my head, I'm like, you know, I don't want this right now. No, money needs to be made. Like, that's the way my head is right now. But I definitely feel like I'm going to be 24 soon. And I'm like, you know what? Like, time is actually going so fast.

Like, before you know it, I'll be 30. But with that being said, I'm still trying to enjoy the moment as it is. But I definitely do want to settle down at some point, 100%. And I also do feel like ever since I started, like, you you know taking care of my body and like you know doing things like that i have gained this new wave of confidence and i feel like before because also growing up and hearing you shouldn't act like this you shouldn't talk like that you shouldn't dress like this it really definitely stunted my confidence levels yeah so like for example if i was at an event and

i saw someone i would i would have never ever gone up to them but now when i told you this new wave of confidence just comes out it's insane and on top of that as well like because of me i come across very like flamboyant and stuff i always used to think that you know i wouldn't ever be able to get into a relationship and you know it it definitely was um for me it definitely was a cut block because i was like i i don't know if actually like how i can be my true self because me who always who always preaches about being yourself for me to go against that for me it's like am i even being authentic enough do you know what i mean and it's was there ever like a stage in your life where you felt like you wasn't being

yourself because you couldn't oh 100 100 i feel like growing up black, it's really tough. It really, really is. And I feel for a guy specifically, so to speak, the moment, you know, you show a little bit of like, you know, you being flamboyant, then automatically, oh my gosh, he's a girly pop, he's gay. And it's like, it's really frustrating. Cause it's like, you know, I grew, I, when I went to school, like being in a little boy's school again, it was really, really tough because the moment you didn't speak about how many girls you shagged on like a saturday or you know um what type of porn do you watch then automatically you're seen as the weird one and i always felt out of place because of that and i always felt like you know that had a bit

i just didn't ever feel included and one of my really good friends who's a girl she was telling me i was telling her about me obviously wanting to get into a relationship and stuff and she was telling me that you have to understand that some girls honestly they they're not necessarily looking for always the macho macho guy because to them a lot of them is an ick the way they like feel like they're better than they've all but because your dick is like 11 inches you now feel like you're all this it's like no some guys some girls genuinely really want a guy who is genuinely down to earth and sometimes who's a softie you know and you know i i know for a fact i definitely will find you know the woman of my dreams one day but you know what it is i will say though there's actually a girl that i really really do like

um i can't see her name no i can't say it but the thing is we can give her a fake name that's okay okay um let me try and think let me try and think um let me try what can i give her what girl's names are there um sasha sasha there we go let's do sasha yeah she gives a sasha vibe as well yeah yeah um and i added her on instagram i added her on tiktok you know on tiktok as well you know you can see like friends only as well sometimes yeah and then she's doing lovey-dovey with her boyfriend i'm like oh this is nice oh that's not where i wanted the story to go but you know every now and then you know she posts a little cute snap i'll be like you know just put a little emoji here and there she'll probably like it and i'm like anything else

you know but you know one thing though is going back to what you were saying how like now you've got this whole new level level of confidence and stuff and how before you didn't like i do think and it sounds really cliche but like we have this conversation all the time i really do believe you've got to love yourself before you can love anyone else and i feel like that's such an important thing so the fact that you feel like you can be yourself now and put yourself first yeah you'll find a relationship without having to exactly you know what it is like i remember there was this was like back in like 2017 um there was a guy that i followed at my school like we just followed each other on instagram i don't know where his

account's gone now but he was um i just was going through his instagram and stuff and he was just we're just talking every now and then like hi how are you and stuff and i said oh because he's engaged now and i was like oh this is mine it's crazy how people like are having kids and engaged like that oh i know it scares the hell out of me it's like five minutes ago we were just in school but um he was like he met this girl at a music festival but when he met her he never like knew who she was there was no mutuals they just met each other in the crowd and they were just speaking i think they probably went to that you know one of them like food stalls like at the festival yeah and then they just happened just to keep bumping into each other like on the day and then they just exchanged um instagrams and

then from there they just started talking and now they're you know they're lovebirds but um he was saying that sometimes when it comes to love sometimes when you don't look for it it comes to you yeah that is no it is so true all my relationships have happened like that yeah genuinely like that is that is how it will happen and i feel like that that way it's more it's not as stressful because it just comes naturally instead of you actually looking for the perfect guy or the perfect girl the perfect this or that like it's it's um because it literally just comes along with the story it all adds up like you know it wouldn't just come out of just nowhere it's like you just somehow find yourself in that situation as opposed to actually going

out and saying okay i'm on the lookout i'm on the hunt you know i was like with all that in mind would you rather meet someone naturally or would you still slide someone's dms and be like hi i want to take you on a date like how would you approach that um you know what i am very very verbal i really like the whole you know meeting in person and talking to people um i'm definitely doing that a lot this year 100 um but i definitely feel like you know doing the whole DMs thing also is it's also you know it's quite nice why not you know but also I feel like with me I'm a very private person very very private I don't put like a lot of my personal stuff on social media because social media is crazy like it's my it's mad like it's really crazy and I feel like when

you are like a public figure it's really important to like you know protect you know certain things around you because you know social media is very evil place. But sometimes I get really a bit anxious because it's like, I want some, if I was to get somebody in the industry, like I want them to have the same like morals as me in terms of privacy. But at the same time,

if I get somebody who's not in the industry, which I also would like, because obviously not everybody needs to know our relationship, are they using me for clout? Do you know what I mean? Would you prefer someone in the industry though you know what i wouldn't mind i wouldn't mind but if i do get someone in the industry like she has to also be very very private as well with me yeah because it has to be it has to be together so like for example like if i if i find someone and she you know she likes to block her family it can't work it just i'm so sorry it

can't work because eventually my parents are gonna have to be in the video oh hi with my mom-in-law no no i'm so sorry don't get me wrong i love those videos i love knowing what people do in the house i love it but for me i just have to i have to because i just feel like i'm so anxious about how people can like for example like you know there's a youtuber that i watch and she you know she's always vlogged about her being plus size and then the moment she came back to social media after six months you know when she lost a lot of weight people were like oh did you get like surgery and it was very very like it came across like um it's very nasty and toxic and he's

like if she wants to keep that private let her do that but i feel like so many people have this entitlement thing that oh because i followed you For X amount of years I have to know everything about you Yeah yeah Like we deserve to know everything Yeah But with that Do you guys find Feel like any pressure with that

Like within dating Just about like Your personal life And just sharing stuff Like dating Like so to speak as well Like because obviously Like you know

If you are Like I know sometimes Like if you're in a relationship I know you get the annoying comments About like oh I'm waiting for Anna's one as well You know what i mean it's like just let them be i i think definitely going on to the whole like dating and not knowing people's intentions but i think also my family feel that a lot as well okay like i think i trust people too easily

right so i like will be of somebody that just isn't in the industry and i'm like oh my god no no no they're just really nice they love me that this and that and my mom will be like well like what what like why have they suddenly now using instagram like she's she's so aware my mom's the same yeah yeah yeah it's like if you can see my mom as well like i'm so glad i have her because it's like even when i like have different thoughts about like something i want or like there's someone that i like or whatever it is she will be like sherlock holmes like interrogating what is it about them that it makes them so different it's like mom can you relax all right give me a minute i wish my mom was like that i don't think my mom would have a fucking clue really like if

i think she obviously cares yeah i don't think she'd have a clue how many followers have like she wouldn't look at that if i said that to her yeah she'd be like almost shocked i don't know do you know what i mean but also like i'm quite nervous about posting anything to do with a boy for me because i never have like the most brand new it's brand new the most i've done is like a tiny soft launch of a dinner table like i've never once named someone or anything like that so i don't know how people are gonna react yeah like i've seen people on social media where they're like they've showed their boyfriend yeah and then people will message the girl and be like i saw your boyfriend last night doing this so i that's so so frustrating i used to get this with my ex-boyfriend but like i'd be

with him yeah and like or like i'd spent the week with him and someone would be like i saw your boyfriend yesterday and he was kissing so and so and i'm thinking yeah and they've just blatantly made it up i'm with him right now i was with him last night i was with him the night before yeah it is crazy like yeah having a relationship online because like how cancel culture is so big people would love to cancel your relationship oh yeah a hundred yeah like there's there's no morals it's like whatever we can do to get a couple likes and views let's do it and you're like so funny they're doing it for absolutely free there's no fee involved it's like get a freaking job it's so frustrating it's so annoying and like sometimes even when it's got nothing to do with

me sometimes i go on someone's page and i'm seeing stuff like that and it's like can you just obviously i don't say it because obviously you know branding but can you just shut up like leave them alone it's so annoying do you know what i mean but it's like yeah i feel like what you said about the whole like being a bit like you know scared about posting something because you don't know what people are like yeah you don't know how they're gonna react or if they're gonna want to try and ruin it for you like that's the thing i would love to be able to share that part of my life and i hope that one day i definitely can yeah but i think i'll do it in a sense of like my relationship is like private yeah not secret so when because we've just manifested it yeah

so when you go on this perfect date that you just meet this girl and she's just the love of your life and everything else and you wasn't even trying. Yeah. What is going to be your ideal date? What would be your ideal date? I feel like I'm very, I'm very materialistic. But at the same time, I also know like,

it's not like my life when it comes to like, I do love like, you know, something to like like i do love like you know something you know quite nice you know but at the same time it's not like it's the be all and end all type of thing but you know some people saying oh like going to like a restaurant is boring you need to do something fun no i like a sit down i want it to be like therapy like how are you like how's your mom what's up you know what i mean yeah like a nice meal somewhere probably like in mayfair or maybe because i'm in la quite a lot so maybe somewhere like india malibu or beverly hills maybe a little trip to Nobu you know like you know what it is because the thing is with me like I I'm I'm I'm a man of class and taste and I think when it comes

to because I hear a lot of stories from like girls uh a lot of my female friends as well telling like me how like a lot of guys that just treat them like just a bunch of rubbish and he's like yeah if it was me you would never have that issue well obviously like you're my sister so we can't do that um you know but yeah i feel like yeah going somewhere just really really nice and chilled like um for example like you guys went to have you been to boba steakhouse in west hollywood yeah yeah that place is such the zen is so nice it's like oh it's so lovely i just i'm someone who just really just likes to make an experience appreciate nice things yeah do you know what I mean and it's like with me like I feel like some guys definitely like even when I was in Paris recently one of my friends we were even just speaking about this briefly and it's funny how it all makes sense and you know they were speaking about like going on dates and things

and I was speaking to him about the girl that I said that I like he's obviously in a relationship and they were just speaking about like how sometimes like they just because of like the slack that a lot of guys um black guys so to speak get in the uk about how like you know women are treated and like what is expected of them they kind of feel a bit on edge about like if they're doing too much or doing too little um but i feel like if you really like somebody and you know the vibes are there and you guys understand each other and you're like you you're able to like read each other's energy and you know you get each other's morals that should that should be the least of your problems do you know like that that girl that you meet um and you

really like her vice versa and the feelings are there like trust and believe like you wouldn't have to think twice like people who feel like they have to do the extra mile on the first day it's a bit too much obviously yes obviously be prepared and all that kind of stuff but don't overly promise it's been the first day do you know what i mean yeah but with me i'm somebody who genuinely like yeah i'm i'm a man of taste like you know take us a really nice restaurant you know get the bubbly going would would you feel a pressure because obviously i feel like there is a pressure mainly for men to pay on the first date okay this is a conversation i have all the time with my parents and my sisters so to speak because you know they they every now and then they go on dates and stuff and we have now that we've

gotten older like we actually really have grown conversations and thing is with me I personally would go out of my way to do that I I feel like as as as a man like for myself I definitely will go out of my way to pay for the first day if for whatever reason the girl says she wants to split by all means why not but I personally feel like I will go out of my way to pay for the first day if for whatever reason the girl says she wants to split by all means why not but i personally feel like i will go out of my way to pay for the first day but the whole energy of a girl being like oh no a guy has to pay for me didn't it i will drop you there and then i'm so sorry i don't like i i really don't like when you know some girls have this expectation where like a man has to do everything for them i feel like a man has for for his role as a man like in you know a relationship he definitely has his roles

but I definitely do feel because with me I'm very like traditional when it comes to like relationships and stuff but I definitely feel like yes there is like a certain part of a man that um has the characteristics that a man has that he should you know you know hold and take seriously because you know that is who he is as an individual but i do feel like yeah it is really really important that um yeah i mean for me that you know you you show like first impressions are everything and i feel like if i'm going out on a date with a girl i really want to make sure that she feels like she's secure and that she hasn't got anything to worry about but at the same time don't do too much and don't do too much and

don't show off because i i could be paid to do you know what i mean but i i'm somebody who genuinely feels like yeah like why not like if anything i asked you out so why would i not do you know what i mean it's a bit weird so maybe like the person who asks who out should pay i think so but i mean that's nice do you know what it is it's a bit of a weird one because I hate the fact because obviously I'm here talking about like toxic masculinity and feminism what kind of stuff but at the same time even if a girl was to say that we should go out I still wouldn't want feel like it's right that she has to pay it's a bit weird do you know what I mean yeah yeah I know it's hard because I do feel a lot of pressure for guys and i know from my this is like my honest point of view like i know if i went out with a guy i would never expect them to pay like i know friends that have

gone out and i haven't gone out of their cards i think that's so weird that's so dumb like i just feel like it's and i just feel like it's rude but like to me it's attractive if a guy pays yeah because then also it shows that they actually really like they actually like and they care like like going back to what i said like they asked you out like if for example like last year one of my friends she's like a really really really big like model internationally and she's got like a lot of money and she basically was talking to me about like her past relationships and apparently how like she really struggles trying to find a guy that is like stable enough because a lot of guys that she's gone out with a lot of them are quite like jealous and envious of like how much money she makes and stuff like that so we went out to a restaurant in

south ridges it's a really lovely one you've definitely been there before you went with julia i saw it in a blog with the onion soup oh my god you know what i got oh yeah yeah oh i had it as well it was so nice it was so good oh it was so nice oh and a little crispy little is it yeah oh bread it was amazing it's 10 out of 10 oh it's so nice um and i paid for ml she goes what are you doing i'm like like why not she goes no you don't have to do that i'm like cheers you didn't have to do that i'm like why not like she goes she could have done it herself she goes literally like a guy has never done that for her before and it's like what and for me i don't care how much money you have you could be the next oprah you could be freaking kylie jenner Jenner I think it's morals for me

Yeah Like do you know what I mean And obviously we're just friends Do you know what I mean Yeah But I feel like It's really important that You know

If a guy is really serious About moving forward with somebody It's the little things that do show And I guess yours is What you're trying to say Is it's more your own morals Rather than feeling the pressure To feel like you have to

Yeah but at the same time with that being said i also do feel actually it's a bit of both it's a bit of both yeah honestly it's a bit of both because i just feel like yeah i feel like yeah it just kind of shows because personally for me like when it comes to relationships like i do feel like obviously a man has his roles and a woman has her roles but at the same time a woman should also feel you know safe and protected and felt feel you know safe and protected and felt like you know she can like she can rely on her husband or her boyfriend or whoever she's going out with to just to be secure i know that that's that's theirs and not feel like she

has to you know always look into her back pocket for loose change like yes obviously of course in relationships yes there are there are financial struggles and things like that like growing up like i saw a lot but at the same time it's just knowing that you know in this day and age so to speak especially it's very very weird how like people not perceive like relationships and stuff but i feel like for me traditionally it's just really important that you know a man you know just goes that extra mile just shows the girl that like they care because i'm going to be honest a lot of men do a lot of crap and a lot of girls really do you know second guess and be like oh like i'm not really sure now because obviously a lot of them are now you know skeptical about if they really really want to get a

relationship because of the rubbish they see which is a mainstream constant thing of men just messing about um so yeah i feel like first impressions are everything and yeah 100 pay i'm definitely paying 100 so to you how would someone prove that they are the one or how would you know that someone's the one you know it's crazy how you said that because i remember a couple years ago when i was at church i spoke to one of my leaders and one of the youth leaders and i was saying like how because she was married and she was telling me about like um i was just talking about like relationships and stuff and she was like if you see somebody that you like you just know like you just know they're the one and i was

like i've never had that feeling so i wouldn't know and then i had that recently with that girl that said he's in a relationship i was like maybe just not meant to be but um yeah i feel like sometimes when you meet them in person and you like energy says a lot and i feel like especially like when it comes to conversations just about little things even if it's got to do with money or even interest or like different things like that i feel like for me i can really like just know if it's just even if it's not going to be forever i just know there's there's the potential that it could go somewhere i definitely feel like just the energy says a lot about somebody um even if people like go like if they go like hook up and stuff you know some people's actually like a little you know beat and delete type situation but if you end up being regular sometimes in this world you know

quick little shag on a saturday night and then you know go about your day um but you know you know and some people you know are regulars and you know it's not just because obviously you know the sick was good sometimes it's also more than that it's the energy that's in that that is there and i feel like energy is really important i think it's even said like it's scientifically proven that hugs also like um have something to do with energy like a good energy i was reading on instagram the other day yeah apparently when you hug somebody or like when you there's something i don't know but yeah they said something about like it's got to do like with your heart rate and something i don't know but obviously like in a not in a friendship way like in a relationship type of way apparently like it's quite intimate as well that's why like some people

really enjoy it like i speak to one of my friends um and she was telling me that she really really really enjoys foreplay more than actually having actual sex and she was i agree to that she said that like she was telling me that when the guy wanted to actually like you know do the deed she was like let's just carry on doing what we're doing um i never worked out in the end but she said she just loves that just spending time and just like energies just crossing with each other yeah yeah yeah no that's true yeah i'm like you're like no i'm taking it all in no i'm taking it all in I'm taking it all in I'm taking it all in no that's true so what would be like a red flag hygiene scrub your tongue please yeah oh my days like I've been I've been

in events and stuff and I've seen oh my fashion week recently oh my gosh I was at this Casablanca event this girl she was so beautiful really really lovely because she was amongst other friends of mine and you know I leaned into her and said hi she said hi i said it was so automatically i was turned off thank god obviously i'm an actor i'm able to like hold it in but in general honestly because of me i'm attracted to like smells like this is i'm saying if you don't smell good it's such a like you could you could you know you may not i feel like i can't be talking about this right now i forgot my perfume in london so i'm very sad no honestly probably smell it be out no honestly smells attract so much like i have a whole collection

like me and my mom we kind of share the same kind of kind of similar smells like what we like so like if it's her birthday if it's christmas we only get around the same like type so oh i love me a um there's one there's you know the one the dior that like looks like a drop yeah i don't know what it's called i've got i've got quite a few yeah i've got quite a lot yeah but honestly like yeah hygiene's number one it really yeah yeah yeah because for me like especially on this panoramic we had true true that like especially on this panoramic we had. True. True that. deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal, the deal on a new blender squeal, or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal.

Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this Prime Big Deal Days, October 8th and 9th. Hey, you. Yeah, you. Scrolling TikTok and avoiding your chem homework? Chegg here. Hot take. You've seen enough Bama Rush, ASMR keyboard, and viral dance videos for one day. Let's lock in and start that assignment. If you need a little help, lean on Chegg's expert-supported learning tools. I say this with love. Put on some lo-fi beats and get going with our step-by-step study support. Your weekend will thank you. Small steps today means big wins tomorrow with Chegg. Subscribe today. You got this. Okay, so I'm very intrigued to read your DMs. Oh, okay. Can we go through your DMs?

Honestly, we can. Speaking about DMs, right? I was speaking to my friend the other day because I do comedy on social media. So a lot of people see, because obviously I do a lot of like goofy faces and all that kind of stuff. And obviously that's, you know,

that's what pays the bills. And obviously I love it. But the thing is, I feel like for me, I feel like I'm not somebody who will go on social media and like, you know, you know, drip themselves in oil and be like, wink at the screen. To that, I'll'll just block you i'll just block you because it's so it's so cringe like all you can offer is your looks do you have anything else do you know what i mean i mean

cool if that gets you the followers that gives you the brand was great but it's like is that it and the same people who are like you know promoting this are the same people saying oh why is it why are you only getting like five million likes for doing this but you're the one saying omg i'm pregnant i'm pregnant in the comments it's so it's so weird it's so weird but in my dms i don't have okay oh what okay so i got one there okay so they messaged me oh they messaged me on the 31st of August, 20th of December, yesterday at 11.22 and 12.24 today. And it was in my hidden request. So let's read it.

Hidden requests are scary. That's why I hardly go into them. Why is it a hidden request? I don't understand. It's weird. I don't know. A lot of the DMs I really get is, oh, like, you've won an iPhone. Click this link to unlock. I don't even know why It's weird I don't know A lot of the DMs I really get is Oh like You've won an iPhone Click this link to unlock

Like I get a lot of those rubbish ones I don't really get many Like romantic DMs I really really hardly get any If I do get it It's because they're from like Grown aunties It's really really annoying

Honestly it's so annoying But this one's a guy Okay And he says Hey mister how are you? Question mark question mark 25th of December Hey

Yesterday 11.22 Hot 12.22 Hey mister how are you? Question mark question mark 20th of December hey Yesterday 11.22 hot 12.22 Hey mister Okay he wants a response He's not getting one I think he needs to try something new Because he's put the same thing three times now Something else

Oh and then I get another one Someone says Like they got a picture of me and sent it to my dm and then they wrote underneath ah so it was you i saw at the airport mr tiktok that's kind of fun i saw it at the airport yeah but isn't it weird that they saw you reading to them it's so weird i've actually got another dm once i didn't answer it was i left it in my request someone said oh were you on my flight from la i was like okay i have a quick story about an airport actually really this was last year i was where was i flying home from i was

on my own and i was in mcdonald's cause i fucking was and this group of boys was sat there and i really fancied one of them one One of them was like absolutely gorgeous. And we kept like staring at each other, but I was way too scared to go over him. I just felt intimidated, but I was on my own. And then he airdropped me a selfie of himself. What?

I've had somebody airdrop me their number. Well, why didn't he put his number on it? I don't want a picture of you. I want your number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How am I going to do that? I can't read your mind to get your number but yeah i'll just just remind me because of the airport thing i would have

aired one back it was one of those situations where like i would have liked to like do you know when people put on twitter like if you were in this airport at this time yeah you're like this message me but i just too embarrassed to do that i know what you mean i know what you mean oh airports are very weird as well like there's different stories of people who like hook up in airports oh yeah um like and it's that whole rush of like okay get it going right boarding now see you soon or never yeah it's crazy wow that is crazy i've never had that experience but i definitely have some people be like oh i've seen you at the airport it's like why don't you say hello yeah it's a bit creepy now do you know i

mean and then oh i got a voice message um from somebody a voice message a voice message yesterday 11 23 wasn't that the same time as the other one oh my god yeah that was like a minute after that is so insane hold on wait 11 23 and then i screenshot the other one hold on and the other one was 11 22 oh yeah every minute you're getting someone new in your team okay wait let me shall i put it towards here yeah okay cool i don't know what it sounds like but wait okay hey uh sorry but um before i used to think that uh you only make like funny videos like i never really paid attention to Instagram. And I'm looking at them.

I'm looking at your fits and how your combinations and stuff you put together. I'm like, okay. Nah, you ain't respect, bro. Funny videos, it was cool. But seeing this aspect, I'm like, all right. All right. You are the guy bro keep inspiring us because i'm inspired right now

i always get scared when i get them because i'm like i don't know what people are saying because i've had deference that is so funny that's actually sweet He's appreciating the fix He's appreciating the fix He's like I do look good So wow That is That's nice Thanks I don't want to get voice notes In my DMs I want voice notes Really do you know

They get voice notes But like they'd be entertaining Not really I think they'll be funny actually I get the odd one But nothing like that Yeah That's lovely

Thanks Made my morning I'll be replying to that I'm going alright Yeah but do you know what it is My DMs I hardly open them in general I actually do kind of get A bit anxious sometimes Because I'm right yeah but you know what is my dms i hardly open them in general i get i actually do kind of get a bit anxious sometimes because i'm like i don't know what to

expect um but like do you guys check your dms quite often i like see i actually check my dms a lot all the time to be honest i do actually see every single dm that i get really yeah i get i get loads of hidden requests and i don't understand that whole thing of hidden requests i don't know i just don't get it hidden requests are nice so i'm like well how has that ended up in there i don't it's weird because sometimes even hidden hidden requests sometimes they're not even bad messages at all like sometimes i'll be like oh hi how are you nothing i don't know but yeah sometimes i get a bit yeah dms on instagram i'm not really good at them in general like i hardly respond on dms on instagram every now and then i like probably like if i see someone responding to my story

i used to get a lot of dms before because people could like respond to my story but oh yeah it got very overwhelming it was too much it was too much like i remember during the pandemic when my instagram started growing like kid you're not in a day like i'll get around like 100 and something messages every day and it was like i can't it's just too much so now if i turn it off the only people who can respond to me is people who i follow and i follow back and then again if people tell me something about my story they obviously just refer to it and just make a whole new message thread um but i prefer that it just gets too much sometimes it gets a lot um and also i don't also like looking at my comments this is why i cringe sometimes on my instagram i try i kind of like stay away do you not look at your oh no it's so

funny i just have a look sometimes, but Instagram every now and then I, it's like every now and then I don't mind doing it. But yeah, I'm like, yeah, it's a bit scary sometimes. I don't know.

Cause people are mad on social media. I know, but I feel like I always want to look at my comments. It's so weird. It's so weird. I feel like. It's funny when you've said like, cause obviously we all sign ourself up for it.

So I, like you'd think that like that wouldn't i guess bother you so much but obviously it does i feel like um that me not looking at my comments mainly started from like last year when like the internet tried to like cancel me and stuff it just got a bit too much i was like yeah do you know what forget this but um yeah i mean i'm doing a special shoot this week, like photo shoot. So I'm definitely going to be responding to a lot of those because I know I'm going to look good.

So if someone was to slide into your DMs, what would be a good way for them to do it? Like what would you respond to? Or what would you want them to say? I don't really know if it would be compliments because I don't really say compliments well. I feel like when people compliment me, I'm like, oh, thanks. And then I might, because if I say i say oh like you look good too it's like what's

next it's like i just feel a bit cringe yeah i used to be so bad at taking compliments i just i can't to be my i used to never be able to do what i overthink because i'm like if i say oh thank you and i don't say it back i'm like a he's oh you're not being rude and it's like you know i mean so i feel like i think it should just be like so i feel like when it comes to people like trying to like if if i was to ever get those dms i feel like the the root of the conversation should like be something not um relationship or situation ship involved would you respond to a chat up line yes i know i feel like if i if i respond to the chat up line yes and no I feel like if I respond to the chat up line

I think I'm going to have to like skim look at their Instagram first and see like what intentions could they probably have are they in the industry are they looking for clout do they want to try and sell me a story on the sun like it's very digital footprint's real let's be very careful but yeah I feel like you know what it is I feel like if I'm feeling you why not

yes you don't think it's unattractive Oh no absolutely you're not Go ahead Go ahead I will say Once I started going to the gym I've been definitely getting Way more comments

And I'm like But I'm like I mean I wasn't ugly before Like I was still hot But I mean now It's like okay But like I mean do you know what it is

I feel like I'm enjoying the moment Because it's like You know I'm young You know I feel like I'm starting to look good now I'm really starting to enjoy myself I'm starting to really get like you know gain more confidence so he's like look my dms are open do not be scared do you hear that dm open say something

say something they are open even the chat lines are welcome open say hello it's a new day how can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long-awaited vacation. You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express.

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The future is clear. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. To discover how, visit bhp.com slash better future speaking of our audience we also asked them this week their wildest date stories so we got some good ones okay cool so oh my gosh okay this is too power okay went to five guys on a first date he then sat and told me that he was speaking to three of my friends and he found them through tags in my photos bin bin not even recycling i need to do that again so he was speaking so he taken someone on the first day but was also speaking to three of her friends that he'd found from a group photo on her instagram he's looking for a shag there's no way i'm sorry as well but how did that girl not discuss of her friends because if i'm going on a date all my friends

know about it and you know it's so weird if i i genuinely feel like if her friends knew because i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure they've spoken about it already yeah you're just sure her friends would know exactly so i do i actually feel like yeah first of all drop him because he's not worth your time and she also needs to look at her friendship group because there's no way that yeah he can speak to the set they can all speak to the same guy and this girl's going on a date and they have and they have no clue i thought it's obviously a bit fishy there also why would he admit that on the first date what do you mean i'm also speaking he's not serious at all he's not serious yeah there's no way but also can i just say i never understand so this is kind of changing the topic it's kind of going to like when people cheat but

i never understand why people get angry when they're like so say your partner cheated on you with someone else say it was a guy and they cheated with another girl or whatever like why is like say i got cheated on right why am i angry at the girl but not my partner my partner was the one that owed me all the loyalties so like her friends as well like what are her friends like i know i'm sorry but they're not friends yeah i feel like they're the ones that owed you loyalty yeah i feel like the anger would also come from let's say if the person that the your boyfriend cheated on with you know them as well um yeah if you know them of course yeah but if you don't know them your your head shouldn't even be thinking

towards that it should be about you and your boyfriend i don't really get that i feel that's a bit weird because it's like you're focusing like i see on jerry spring all the time you're always arguing it's like listen the main events here forget about this girl yeah yeah like this girl didn't know you and even if she did she owes nothing to you it's the guy that you sleep with every night that's who you should be focusing on i never get that mentality i never get it i never get it it's like you're focusing on the wrong things here yeah exactly couldn't agree more this next one's a little bit of an incest going on oh it sounded a bit weird um went on a first date with a boy from tinder arrived to the date and i'd been catfished he was my cousin no

i'm sorry now i don't know what sort of fetish or what sort of like things he wants to try but yeah you need to cut all ties i am so sorry what so he knew so he knew wait so what did they did they say they met up with with them yes it it doesn't they don't have an actually specified which way around but like yeah oh no they went on first with a boy from tinder oh okay cool but then he was her or his cousin i'm confused so they were like so yeah i'm sorry that's weird that's that's weird did the cousin know or they didn't know they were cousins no you're gonna well no you've got to know you've got if he if he knows he was fair enough they were like they know third cousins or something and they didn't know and they didn't know but it's still weird yeah do you know i mean that's a bit odd because if you turn up and you're not the picture who you

said you were online and you find that it's your cousin but also why do you want to speak to your cousin in that way using a fake identity yeah that's very odd that's very like yeah and that's very scary because now you don't know their intentions you hear the sort of stuff in them weird crime documentaries in america they end up killing them or something that's very very weird no i'm sorry that is so weird you know a conversation i've had so many times with so many people is right imagine yourself yeah you're married yeah to your husband or wife or whoever yeah you've been together for like 15 years you love them on the life itself you have kids together and then you find out that actually you were like long lost siblings and you were related would you stay with them or not i'm

sorry there's do you know what it's actually that's actually that actually happened to joey mccall there was like i saw it there was two guys it was years ago the video resurfaced on my youtube the other day they basically they were um they were um in a relationship but they did a dna to find out they were actually half brothers yeah like imagine that is scary what would you say with them oh absolutely not absolutely really see i would because i think you're too far gone you know what i mean you've had the kids even if you live with them if i'm kind of say i because i just i can't even imagine it but even if if i was going to be in that situation i can't look at you the same i can't sleep with. You can use the pump out mattress downstairs.

It's just not going to happen. Like, I'm so sorry. Really? It's funny because I asked my mum and dad the same question. My dad was like, no way. And my mum was like, yeah. So different.

No, like so different. But only because she, I guess she just thought like I did. She was like, well, it's already done now. And you've had kids now. Like, what are you going to do? You've had kids. Like, they've turned out alright So I mean

Do you know what I mean Right well thank you so much For coming on Thanks for having me I really enjoyed it I'm honoured It was so great to have A little chit chat with you girls

We always ask our guests Like a little final bit of advice Obviously we'll be talking About dating so Have you got any advice About dating and finding the one I feel like You know

We hear it all the time you can't love yourself until you love you can't love somebody until you love yourself and i feel like that is a really strong statement that a lot of that it just goes across people's heads but i feel like it's really important to practice self-love because you know being in a relationship it's not abc it's xyz and it's very very very like you know there's a lot of things that go into it um yeah also just try and be yourself as much as you can because you can only be fake for five minutes trust and believe when you tell them not and you live with them everything comes out you know so yeah and

also i feel like don't rush especially if you're young as well i feel like there's also this pressure that a lot of people feel because a lot of their friends and associates in friendship in relationships that they must get into it in order for them to like you know feel included trust and believe you're gonna hate yourself in the end because it's it's a lot of work and i feel like love will come find you more than you go looking for it so just relax you know carpe diem seize the day and enjoy yourself you'll be fine you'll be fine love. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Bye. Sex Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify original podcast produced by Spirit Studios

with Raymond Tanner and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify, the executive producer is Rihanna Cole.