Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 25. Ghosting, being called a catfish and accidentally matching with an entire friendship group

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

It's halloween and we've got a pretty apt topic for this week's episode - ghosting. We chat about the times we have been ghosted and we didn't care, the times when it really hurt and the times we were the ones guilty of ghosting. (2:00) Ana has ghosted.. and she’s ashamed to admit it (4:48) The story of the guy who thought Ana was a catfish (10:00) When Saff got ghosted by the guy she actually really liked (16:01) The plot thickens… this is the same guy from episode 2 (18:38) Ana matched with all the boys in this friendship group which caused one of them to ghost her (24:15) Saff’s opinion on matching with your friendship group (28:28) Why do you actually think people ghost?  (29:50) We can’t believe this guy used THIS excuse for ghosting… (33:34) In the DMs: the last messages between Ana and the guy she was ghosted by Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's go. Hi guys, happy Tuesday. Welcome back to Sex, Lies and DM Slides. Good morning, Anna. Hi everyone. Good morning, babe. How are you? I'm good.

I'm feeling like nice and cutchy and snuggly this morning because it's actually getting cold now. You look so cozy. You've got like a hoodie on. You've got the fireplace. Well, it's not a real fireplace. It's just to look, well, it is actually a real fire, but you wouldn't see that. So I've got this fireplace well it's not a real fireplace it's just to look well it is actually a real fire but you wouldn't see that so i've got this one to try and make it

look aesthetic no but i always do that in the evenings i always put a fireplace on my tv because i think it just makes like the house feel cozier yeah and i know this is a mental thing but it actually makes it feel like there's a fire like it makes it feel warmer than it is just from looking at that that sounds so strange but it genuinely works no it really does you look so cozy we look like we dress for two different seasons well it is quite cold in my house i'm freezing i'm not sure why i put on a cute little top looking at the fireplace i know looking at your fireplace so it's going to make me feel warmer so thank you for good you're welcome i think we're just gonna jump straight into this episode guys because me and saf have experienced a fair bit of ghosting right in our time of dating um some more recent situations than others and we just want to

talk about it i feel like it's such a common thing that happens, but I don't really hear people speak about it a lot. No. And I actually think it's one of the worst things to ever happen. As you can tell, I'm probably talking from experience. But I just think ghosting is such a cowardly thing to do. Like, I just don't think it's a very nice thing to do. Saying that, I think we've all probably done it to some extent as well, if we're being honest.

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Let's go. Have you ever fully ghosted someone i have fully ghosted someone which is not really like my proudest moment because from being ghosted myself i know exactly how it feels to be ghosted so i'm like why would i then want to do that to someone else yeah i think there's different reasons which we will get into as to why like it technically could be okay to maybe go someone and do you class ghosting someone as just ignoring like one message or like is ghosting you have to ignore multiple messages or disappear off the face of the earth like what what do you class as like ghosting because i know there's definitely times i haven't replied back to people

and i've probably left them on read but then I don't really cast it as ghosting see I would I think I'd be ghosted if I sent a message to someone and they never responded but like you're like yeah I've done that but like and then like if I've texted again and they've never responded yes I think that would be my definition of ghosting. Well, I feel like, okay, so I've definitely left people unread probably far too many times because I just get caught up in my own life. Then I'm like, ah. But I feel like for me,

you're only really ghosting someone if you was ever fully talking to them in the first place. Like if a guy's just messaging me like now and then, and then now and then I reply, but then one time i don't i don't really class as i'm ghosting someone but if i was actually speaking to somebody for like a long amount of time or like consistently then to me that is ghosting someone i agree like if you're sending like one message every couple of weeks and it's like a flirty thing you're not ghosting each other because you know there's going to be another flirty message sent whereas if you're speaking to someone like multiple times a day having like full-blown

conversations with them and then suddenly nothing yeah and that i haven't done i genuinely have never done that i have done that have you and i have bad as the people that we complain about i know and i am so like i don't know what the word is but yeah i'm a hypocrite that that is i am a hypocrite in that situation admit it but but why though because i feel like this is actually going to help me because i've been ghosted before and i can i can't seem to get my head around it i think because i'm a very honest person and like i wouldn't if some okay so hear me out if someone's gonna ghost me so i was speaking to somebody non-stop and they

just randomly disappear i would way way way rather than just be like listen i know this seems kind of out the blue but i'm not really feeling it anymore i would 100% rather that than someone ghost me because then i'm left with a million questions. But I do have a reason though. Okay, so go on. As to why I ghosted. So this actually alludes back to the cruise that we were on. If you want to hear another crazy cruise story, you can listen to last week's episode.

This is the same cruise, right? And this is like, this is the definition of it's a small world and right place right time so I was on this cruise and I'd been speaking to this guy like we were speaking we'd seen each other twice um and he was lovely I wouldn't say I was like obsessed with the idea of being with him but he was just really lovely and I enjoyed seeing him and texting him something about it just was giving me cold feet like I can't explain like when their replies get a little bit longer and you'll start to message you know a little bit less each day something in my head just wasn't adding up right so we were on this cruise

it was the first night we got on and there's this like welcome party so we're all like on the top deck having drinks and stuff and these two people come over to me and they were like oh you're anastasia aren't you and i was like oh yeah like nice to meet you had a conversation stuff they said that they live in the same building as one of my friends i was like oh that's really cool and then they were like do you know this boy and i said yeah i was like yeah i know this boy why and they were like well you're speaking to him aren't you bearing in mind like a handful of people knew that I was speaking to this boy so it was just a bit too weird and it was a couple by the way that come up to me as a guy and a boy and the girl said to me so I was at a festival the other week and he was walking around asking people

whether he thinks you're a catfish or not and i said what and she was like you hadn't met him at this point like this was before you'd gone on a date oh i thought you'd gone on a date at this point no so this point was before and we'd matched on hinge then i think he'd found my instagram and had potentially seen that i had a million followers and was like i surely can't be speaking to this girl so then he was randomly going around this festival being like do you think this is a catfish or not and this girl was like she said that she knew me like knew of me she was like I don't I don't know like it might be her I'm not sure and I just thought was like so weird and then the boy was like oh are you still speaking to him and I was like well yeah like we've seen each other twice and they were just like sending like on and off messages whatever and then we went on the

cruise do we go on a monday we went on a monday right i actually couldn't tell you i don't know we went i think i'm pretty sure we went on a monday the friday before he hadn't messaged me all night and i was like something's a bit weird the guy was like well i just want to let you know um i was meant to go to the gym with him on friday but he actually cancelled on the gym with me because he had a girl around to sleep with i'm guessing that's not you and i said no that wasn't me first of all this actually sounds made up i know it isn't because i was there and i saw it firsthand but the fact that this is a legit story is like what is the chances i honestly stood there like gobsmacked but like the thing is i couldn't be annoyed because we literally met twice and we weren't like dating necessarily like we were just like speaking to each other and obviously weren't exclusive or anything but it was just like

information that i did not need to know and i just didn't really want to find out and thank goodness well yes but like i just also at the same time would rather have not found out as i'm about to go on holiday for a week yeah yeah of course so i sent him a message like a really like awkward message being like i can't remember what i said now but something like oh i hope you had fun blah blah with your girl on friday whatever like a really petty message and then he replied and then i ghosted him see i don't i don't class that as ghosting though like i but i could have replied to the message and they double messaged me two weeks later yeah but i didn't reply i feel like that's that's different than just go like for me

ghosting someone is when like you're so fine maybe we have different opinions on this but to me that yeah that's ignoring someone okay ignoring ghosting probably same thing but like first of all you've texted him and you've told him what you've heard yeah why should you reply to me that isn't ghosting someone like ghosting somebody is when everything's totally fine and then all of a sudden you disappear off the face of the earth yes whereas like it wasn't all fine with you like you told him how you felt as well like you told yeah i mean i was i was like very cryptic about it like i didn't really go into any i mean it would he would have figured out who told me in two seconds because he was meant to go

to the gym with him um but then obviously he messaged me two weeks later saying where have you gone right so i was like well i'm gone like you i don't want to speak to you anymore yeah but obviously i haven't responded and spoken to him but that is a fair reason though i think that's a fair reason i think it's a very fair reason and what a small world and way to find out that like i don't know it was just the most bizarre i was definitely in the right place at the right time but that was one of my ghosting stories i was ghosted again this summer which i would tell a little bit but have you been ghosted before i have actually one guy i really really liked again another guy across halfway

across the world um and i was and this to me is a perfect example of what i class as ghosting okay so i'm messaging this guy all day every day facetiming him every single day planned to see him he was coming over to the uk everything else blah blah of course he was he was getting on that he was getting straight on that flight i'd met him and like genuinely okay i fall in love with people very easily but i was like adamant that this was my boyfriend like genuinely i was like this is the one i know he lives halfway across the world but it's just perfect like i loved everything about him and bear in mind he was meant to come and see me one week later so i'd already met him as well so like he's a catfish where did you meet

him first of all oh he's definitely gonna hear this but i met him in a bar i met him in a bar yeah that's a country in a different country okay okay um and yeah like it's not like he was a catfish i've met him i facetimed him every day like we would sit on facetime for like two three hours like making our dinner because we're on different time zones i was literally about to say isn't this the guy that you would like make dinner with and have like dates over facetime with yes yeah yeah so anyways he's coming he's going to his hometown which is closer to the uk than where he is currently but still not our country and he was going to come and stay with me and then so this is like a this is like in a week right and all of a sudden i don't hear from him like this to me is a perfect example

of what actually ghosting is because there was no text no text so you'd arrange like fully so we hadn't said like full dates but it was like oh maybe it was like 10 days he was like he was gonna be where he in his country which is a few hours from ours but a lot closer than where he is and he was like i'm there for like two months so i'll come spend loads of it with you so like we talk about it loads on facetime he was like booking his flight and stuff but like he had a book to come to mine if that made sense so no but he'd booked a flight to go to go home to go home to me but to go home but like okay you know i he could have he has enough money he could have booked a flight within a second it wasn't like he needed to book this flight do you know i mean so much in advance i

kind of just thought oh like when i get my diary together and he gets his i don't really know it doesn't really sound like legit like he was going to but like you know we spoke for hours he it was like he was gonna come over I was yeah a bit weird um anyways yeah so all of a sudden one day I facetime him he doesn't pick up the phone I'm like oh maybe he's doing something like whatever um he has a very busy lifestyle and then I just didn't hear from him i thought that's really weird so i texted the next day just saying like is everything okay because just checking you're alive yeah but not even like yeah genuinely genuinely checking if he's okay like concerned because he's messaging me all day every day has done for six weeks now so it's like a big change because

you've not heard a big change like very weird like i'm actually concerned is he alive like is he okay don't hear from him i'm like that is so weird like so weird so then i'm becoming like stalker at this point and i'm going on the tags and then i'm seeing he's tagged in stuff like just from his mates and stuff and i'm like but he's alive so that's really weird um and then i don't text again because i'm like i'm not gonna if he doesn't want to text me that's fine you're not gonna triple i'm not gonna triple text like it's fine it is what it is but like i'm definitely left in the dark here um and then after like more and more days had gone by and he'd been tagged in more stuff i sent him a message basically saying along the lines oh yeah i triple text at this point

along the lines of saying i don't really get like how you because when i tell you it went from like 100 to zero real quick like this is the this is a guy that like wanted to be with me like you're not investing that many hours a day of someone you don't want to be with i'm sorry i'm not gonna cook dinner on facetime with someone that i'm not interested in for hours on end every day yeah i'm not doing that exactly um you know we'd speak about our family everything else anyways really dragging it out long story short i'd sent him this message i was was i don't really get how you can go from 100 to zero but if if there's something i've done or if you don't feel the same way anymore like it's fine but why like you should have just said something rather than disappear off the face of the earth like to me i just think it's a really

cowardly thing to do i don't think if that was me and i suddenly which i don't really get how on earth you can go from that to that i genuinely would never understand it because it's not like over time he slowly took longer to reply and then you know it's like get the hints off there was none of that it was yeah there was no there was no like warning signs or anything that was like i want to marry you to disappearing off the face of the earth like that's what it was like and he sent this message back and he was like um yeah really I should have messaged you like I'm so sorry like looking back I should have just said um but I feel anyways long story short he was like I'm not really ready for a relationship and I've just realized that you know like me coming over and stuff like that's

probably what's going to happen and blah blah which is a fair enough point but just say that yeah don't just leave me hanging and like let my mind wander a million reasons as to why you've not responded exactly and so that was my that was my very traumatic at the time ghosting story yeah but then plot twist can we just re go back to episode two was this not the guy this is the guy that has messaged me basically every day since so he's back oh he's back he is back he is back they always come back they they do always come back and i actually i actually ignored him for the longest time after like I'm talking like a year and yeah you did actually I remember this yeah and the thing is I don't think he's an awful person I really don't I actually think he's such a nice guy um but not that my

friends would agree because they're like how could anyone do that like because it just it just is a I just do think it's an awful thing to do to someone like talk about really mess with their emotions but you know a year had gone by and I thought to myself I don't hate him I don't think he's a horrible person I just think he was very childish and like most guys I don't know I guess it's just a childish thing to do so anyways I ended up applying to him and he was like I thought you hated me and I was like well I did but now I don't now it's been a while now you're still hot now so you know now we now we come crawling back but there we go at least he's come crawling back I mean are you still interested I think I would would you revisit that I think I would always- Would you revisit that?

I think I would always fancy him. And like, I loved his personality as well. Like I loved so much, but also I wouldn't trust him. Like I would not trust him at all. I think to anyone that can disappear like that off the face of the earth without just having communication, like I've lost all trust.

And I'm a very like i trust people like well i think it's hard to with our jobs but in relationships i don't think you can have a relationship without trust so i would never go into one not trusting someone but him i do not trust him and i feel like if you were to go back and you were to like date him or take anything further you'd always live with that like fear at the back of your mind that it was maybe gonna happen again or just so like because imagine if you didn't need it again i know and i just think if you can just like disappear like that with no explanation i'm just like there's something weird going on yeah i mean yours definitely is ghosting that to me it's ghosting yeah yeah that is

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This is what BHP has committed to Canada. The future is clear. It's happening now at bhp a future resources company to discover how visit bhp.com slash better future i was also ghosted again this summer this one one was a bit weird though. And speaking of how you said like it's childish. I think what this guy did was childish. If this is true. I don't know if I've told you about this before. So you definitely know who it is.

Because do you remember I matched this guy on Hinge. And I said to you I was like. He is so alike. Like me. Like we are literally the same person. And his humor. everything about him was just we're not even met but i can't explain it the connection i sound like a psychopath the connection that we had over text and like just messaging was like so back and forth and so

exactly what i would want it was just weird that is a legit thing though it sounds stupid when you haven't met someone but if somebody can get get your like banter over like text, I think that's such a great thing. It was like incredible. And like, it was one of those ones where like, we would stay up until like two or three in the morning to message each other and have like, and we were replying instantly.

So I was like constantly speaking to him. And obviously I don't know, you can't really, can you really like someone over text because you've not met them? i don't know you can't really can you really like someone over text because you've not met them i don't know i don't i think you can like the idea of them yeah but not like actually them because you don't know what they are yeah exactly it's that falling in love with the idea of someone who you think has everything you want so okay so i really liked the idea of this boy there and he of course lived in the building next to me because my type is they have to live in a mile radius or somewhere

if i can see their apartment at my building we're good and i definitely can because i'm staring at the building right now as we're filming okay so he lives in there and i was like this is just all like too perfect like this is amazing blah blah and then he just didn't reply but it wasn't as like he fell asleep and then didn't reply this was like midday just didn't reply so i thought right he might be doing some work whatever like we've been speaking for over a week constant messaging at this point. The next day still didn't reply. And then the next day still didn't reply. So I kind of accepted defeat.

I was like, you know what? He's not gonna reply to me. I've been ghosted. Fine. I was like, I was actually very upset. So you spoke for a week. I was over a week, but I was actually very upset about it because I really liked the idea of him

and I built it up in my head, right? So then I was having a sleepover with Callum and Freya and my phone kept ringing on unknown numbers. So I answered and I was like, hello. And it was random people, it happened twice, saying that his name had given them my number. Oh, babe, what is going on? So I said, I was like, right. And then I got Callum to answer the other one because I was like, I don't want them to know

that it's actually me. So I thought, why is he giving people my number but he's not replied to my text? So then I replied to, I messaged him. him i thought i'm just gonna have to swallow my pride in my double message and i sent a message saying can you please stop giving out my number because that is beyond weird yeah um really really weird and then instant reply just like we were a week before instant reply so i knew he'd been on his phone and he said that's so weird i've just had a prank call saying um about your name no that can't be right and i said bullshit yeah have you

had someone call you and say my name because i don't if i don't follow you on instagram we don't like nobody knew you're even speaking nobody knew we were speaking right and i just thought what i was like this is so bizarre but then i was stupidly petty and i sent some like message like oh you finally decided to reply or something like that and i really wish i didn't do that like you know just in that moment like it felt like the right thing to say but then as soon as i press send yeah oh i just put my head in my hands and thought why the fuck but also babe but he seems like he's a fat like a fangirl of you because well i think he's just a bit weird no that's yeah but what's with you finding people that are watching your youtube

videos yeah but then i technically i got ghosted but then he gave me a reason why he goes to me do you know what the reason was what he said he puts i've got i got cold feet so i thought cool love that wonder why what the fuck did i say like i was so confused obviously i was reading about the messages like how did you get cold feet all of a sudden yeah he then says is because i matched his two best friends on hinge oh i remember this okay and part of me is like i get it a little bit icky like but this happened to us before we've matched the same person on hinge yeah i i feel like i actually have quite a strong opinion on this okay but the thing is he like it's not as though i'd met his friends or like exchanged more than one message with his

friend like it just happened to be they're in the same friendship group and when you're on hinge and you're swiping people what am i meant to do i don't know your friends yeah you could have spoken to them and then immediately been like no thanks yeah like it was just so and then anyway i fucking saw them all in a bar didn't i the week after i go to this new bar open they all stood there staring at me but he wasn't there just his friends and they clocked me instantly off oh for fuck's sake i was like manchester's big but also like so small yeah yeah at the same time right but what was your strong opinion on that well okay i i get it from your point of view 100 and And I also do agree,

like when you're on a dating app like that, you're not actually really that much looking at the profile. You just kind of swipe on people you find attractive. Like that's it. And it could have been that, you know, I think all the girls in my friendship group are beautiful and attractive.

So most guys are going to swipe to them. Like that's the reality of it. And if we're all living in the same like area, it's going to happen. Exactly, exactly. However, saying that, if a guy that I was speaking to have matched with my friends,

I think I would, do you know what? If, okay, say someone looked so similar to me, then like I would get it because I'd be like, okay, well they have a type. But then also say they're a match of my friends who looked so different to me, like brown eyes, brown hair,

like all completely, like completely different. me like brown eyes brown hair like all completely like completely different then i'd be a bit like that's weird because it seems like they're matching with everyone okay yeah you know what i mean whereas like if it was a friend that looked very alike alike to me like say it was a friend with blue eyes blonde hair i'd be like okay well they clearly just have a type like it's not great you don't want anyone to match someone you're seeing of course but do you know what I mean like say I don't know some guy you were speaking to and they matched with me and I had brown hair and like bluey green eyes you'd be like oh well he clearly just has a type like he fancies both of us because he has a type but yeah his friends that I matched with they all do look fairly similar

like they were exactly yeah they weren't like miles apart obviously you have a type so you're just gonna keep swiping and also i think it's just a little bit deep because like we'd never met like kind of get over a little bit do you know what i mean like we'd literally i think it just hurt his ego honestly me too i think and apparently one of his friends has said something in the group chat about it and i think it just pissed him off more than anything but i was like i actually get both sides like genuinely i do yeah i do understand it like me and you match the same person here do you remember yeah and like i don't it's weird isn't it like if it's i don't know it is weird like i don't want someone that that i because you don't want someone that you're with to fancy your

friends you just don't like as much. I know all of my friends I think are so beautiful and attractive, but you still don't want them to fancy your friends. Yeah, of course. And I do get that. Like me matching with this whole friendship group probably wasn't the most ideal situation.

No. And actually talking about that, Anna and I have had so many of the same guys messaged us both. And I always think it's so weird. Cause I'm'm like surely you must know i speak to anna one also i think you just need to have like one look on my instagram and my pinned post is me and you exactly and it's like surely you know we're gonna talk yeah surely you know like again with the hinge thing i feel like it's a bit different you just swipe in someone but if someone's actually jumping into both of our dms like surely you must know that we speak and if you fancy anna well i i would fancy anna too because she's absolutely stunning but like don't

fancy us both yeah you know what i mean like i think they'd be very naive to think that we don't speak then maybe i'm like you're doing it on purpose but like what's the fucking point in that yeah but like we've had it on raya as well do you remember we were messaging the same guy yeah i think it does just happen though yeah i think on dating apps i kind of get it a bit more but like on dm i'm like surely you know and surely that's weird and like do you actually fancy both of us because i mean to be fair i don't really have like a type but i don't care if a guy is blonde like i probably naturally go for more brunettes than i do blondes but like for me a hair color doesn't define it whatsoever neither i've been with i'm not like just just brunette

neither am i not at all but then most guys i know are always one or the other yeah i know everyone's always like fair blonde or brunettes they're like oh blondes mate blah blah but like if someone asked me that question i literally would not know no neither but then that's what i find crazy is like we get the same guys like so many of the same people message us and i'm like i don't understand like neither anyways but wait till i go dark hannah and then we're really really gonna get the same guys enjoying the dark side i mean my hair's kind of a bit blondish at the moment but come and join the dark side it's a good side to be on but anyway okay so why do you actually think people ghost then like part of me is like do they have do they not have the confidence to tell the truth like do they think that's what it

is do they not want to hurt the other person's feelings but then are you hurting the other person's feelings more by not saying anything i personally think it is that they feel awkward to hurt somebody's feelings but they should understand they're hurting them so much more in the long run and i do think anyone can see that anyone can see that yeah way way more hurt in someone's feelings in the long run by not replying to them so that's why i think it's a cowardly thing i would definitely rather you tell like even if it's a reason that i'm really going to be annoyed about and it's going to hurt my feelings i could actually rather you tell me the specific reason rather than me imagine the reason because like i will probably be imagining 10 times worse than what the actual reason is exactly yeah that's so true so basically please be honest be honest i feel

like communication is key and it's like with that guy that obviously ghosted me like when he gave his reason like yeah it was shit to hear but at least i knew the reason yes like i didn't hate him for the reason i hated him because of how long he left me in the dark like that's what i hated him for um and it just makes you feel shit yeah like it really does have you ever had like a like a really crappy excuse as to why someone's ghosted you i mean i feel like i've only ever had two ghosting situations and that was one of them and the other one was a terrible lie honestly not really i mean apart from the the fact that i've matched your friends on hinge that's like the only excuse i

actually got off of someone i was ghosted again but i genuinely never heard from him again i have no idea why so no excuse what was what was your guy's excuse oh god well okay like i said it's only been two situations but there's one situation i just know was a lie and like again people that lie just aggravate me just say the truth um and this one guy was speaking to his reason was so he again went from 100 to zero real quick like i am talking this is a habit this is a popular occurrence with guys what is the issue with this i well i think it's just they don't know how to communicate and again i'm clearly loving this word this episode but i do think it's very cowardly thing to do

but um yeah his excuse was that he had lost his phone charger and that was why he couldn't speak to me he'd lost his phone charger which anyone anyone could just go by how long did he lose his phone charger a weekend no you don't lose your phone charger for a weekend though and don't think i'm gonna go buy another one or like borrow someone else's get one from poundland but you can borrow someone's like yeah that that is possibly the worst excuse i've ever heard in my life again like even if it was like oh i i don't know i ran into my ex and so and so like i would honestly rather that i just hate being lied to i just think i just think be honest like because at the end of the day truth always comes out as well exactly and then i'm thinking well what were you doing on the weekend well that that's what was going

yeah that's my mind's gonna go like why couldn't you text me but like were your messages delivering to him um no they weren't so the phone potentially could have died but also potentially could have been turned off yes or i could have been blocked you know or potentially could have died, but also potentially could have been turned off. Yes. Or I could have been blocked. Who knows? Or you could have been blocked. But like day before, again, completely normal.

Like it's not like, Saffron, you need to get the sign. Like all my friends, you had seen the messages. Oh, I'd seen the messages. And like, it wasn't like, oh, Saffron, you need to get a hint. You know, it was like 100,000 speed ahead speed ahead yeah yeah probably did go way too fast probably in hindsight did i think that's why it felt worse when it did this did happen because it was so like intense but you know what

guys everything happens for a reason but just just guys need to realize that like first of all those excuses are just crap and second of all just be honest like i just don't understand why people ghost and actually i would love to genuinely know from like a guy's point of view why why ghosting is such a common thing because although it's happened to me twice it's happened to so many of my friends oh i know loads of people have been ghosted yeah so many people like we're not out here ghosting people we don't do that we're more honest than that no but we are though like yeah we'll ignore a guy like if they did something wrong or i don't know but i don't feel like we do we don't go a hunt a thousand yeah i would never do that i would one million percent give them a

an honest reason like when i yeah you know when i have not replied to people it's been for an obvious reason it's not like i've literally just told you we're gonna meet up and then we're not and then the next day just not reply yeah that's insane to me okay anna so should we should we get into the dms um and obviously if you don't mind should we read the last message you sent to a guy that ghosted you? So we can... And then, can we hear his response? So, well, he didn't respond, babe. Oh, okay.

Oh, he didn't respond. No, he didn't respond. Oh, because I got ghosted. Oh, wait. So this was before you got ghosted. This wasn't because you got ghosted, you sent again. So this, I'll read you out the last message he sent me, then the message that I replied that he didn't reply to

okay so i've just read it back actually this is really weird the message that he last sent me was us arranging to see each other so he said so not this weekend the one after though on saturday question mark. Okay. As that part of the message. And then we were speaking about like, basically we'd had a conversation about us for the whole of September going like sober

and like not drinking because we've been out and partied a lot. So I replied saying, yeah, I'm good with the one after that. I'm good for the one after that, that works for me. So agreeing to see him on saturday and then i said i can't lie i had a glass of wine tonight having a night into myself and fancied one to the pact the pact begins on monday for me no response that's weird so we did arrange to each other never this is what i don't understand how can you arrange to see someone and then like he's literally asked you and then nothing

and i remember because i replied to that message so he messaged me at 9 a.m that morning i didn't reply until eight o'clock that night but i was working all day so i just didn't reply and then yeah nothing but like that's weird why that's so strange i think it's so ridiculous like i want to know what his reason was because, like, I have read back the messages and there's nothing that I could have said, there's nothing I could have done for him to change his mind.

I think the reason, like, guys don't always reply as well. I'm assuming it's, like, they have something that's come up in their life, whether that is an ex or something because how can you actually go from that to that? I agree with you. I just find it crazy.

Something must have happened that doesn't involve us in that. Maybe we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. Yeah. No, that is what I'm going to tell myself. Otherwise I would drive myself crazy. I think what I would start picking apart what I've said, what I might have done where it's easier to blame i just think it makes sense if like gradually over time they were messaging you

less and less that makes sense they're obviously just not into you they obviously don't find you attractive or whatever i don't know what it is there's something but to go from like 100 to 0 i will just never understand i completely agree and I feel like we need to get a guy's opinion on this just we can hear from the other side so that is exactly what we're going to do in Thursday's episode we're going to hear from a guy on why they would ghost someone which I'm kind of nervous to hear actually yeah but we're going to hear from you guys as well which I'm very excited about on reasons why you think it's okay to ghost people or like things that you've done to ghost people i'm excited to

hear other people's experiences to make me feel better about mine that's what i was about to say i want to hear other people's reasons i don't know if this is gonna make me feel better or worse to being ghosted i don't know but i hope it makes you feel better i hope so but i think it could make us feel worse you know me too well we'll find out on thursday yes we should see you on thursday's episode bye guys you guys then let's go