Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 30. Your DMs: "His ex's parents were eating at the table next to us?!?!"

Episode Date: November 16, 2023

We're delving into the DMs you guys have sent us today discussing all things "meet-the-parents" and you guys delivered!! From bumping into your boyfriends ex's parents at a restaurant, what you'd do if your boyfriend's mum didn't like you and our advice on what to do if your parents aren't keen on your new partner.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hi everyone and welcome back to sex lies and dm slides hi anna hi everyone hi babe so as you guys know thursdays um is the day where we have a bonus episode we filmed an episode on tuesday and i actually love love love this episode um it was all about basically meeting the parents and we heard from our parents we did and they have very strong opinions so it was it was an interesting episode to say the least go and listen to it if you haven't already pause this one go back and then come back here because and also i feel like there was just a lot to fill you guys in with within our love lives. Oh, a lot.

I mean, not as much on mine and a bit more on Sass, hopefully a bit more on mine in the next few weeks. Yeah, we're manifesting it. So yeah, definitely go and check the episode out if you guys haven't already. But yeah, this is the time of the week where we actually get to listen to your guys' dilemmas and really just get the

opportunity to connect hear your opinions and so i'm very excited me too i well you've put a poll on your story um and i put a question box and i basically asked you guys to send in your experiences with meeting the parents and we have got a real 50 50 split i feel like with my responses but first of all what were the answers to your poll okay so i was actually quite surprised by this i'm not gonna lie but 83 percent of people said that you should meet the parents before well they should meet your parents before they're actually officially your boyfriend or girlfriend what are you surprised by that answer i don't know i think so well i mean i don't know because people make out it's such a big deal to meet their parents i thought people wouldn't be introducing them really early on 83 is quite high i feel like that's the highest like poor response

we've had but um but to be fair though like we were speaking about on the other episode timelines times could be very different so people could be like speaking to these people for like four months and still introducing their parents before they get with the person yeah that's true so to me i think that's a long time though personally what to be like dating someone before you get in a relationship well I think like four months and then introducing them to your family you still haven't like they're still not your boyfriend or girlfriend surely by then you know if someone's gonna be your boyfriend or girlfriend I think you should I think you know anyway by like a month in to be or maybe before that you kind of you just do get that feeling like you know but yeah four

months is quite far but yeah I wouldn't necessarily sound surprised by that result but it's very high do you want to see some of the replies yeah go on so some of the replies so this one is i met parents when dating but we both knew it was going to end up in a relationship so i think a lot of them are very much similar to this um someone else has put when dating it's good to see how they'd fit into the family before starting a relationship obviously very valid yeah true of course that's a valid yeah um this one's put data but later in but later into the dating another one is whilst dating if you're in the relationship and your parents don't like that person i would actually cry so i would always do it whilst dating I completely agree yeah like honestly pretty much everyone is saying this which yeah I guess does actually make

sense like I don't know I guess it'd be weird to be like this is my boyfriend when they've not met them I guess that is weird if you're close with your family anyways yeah and I just feel like say if I was officially with a person and then he became a boyfriend, I introduced him to my mom. My mom was like, I don't like him. I'm like, hmm. Like, I mean, I love him. So I'm going to be with him.

But that's a little bit of a spanner in the works. If he's already my boyfriend. Yeah, my mom's like, I don't like him. And then on my story, I asked you guys to send in some of your dilemmas and stuff from meeting the parents so like i said we've got 50 50 split someone literally just sent me the word shit full stop so wow okay always didn't go very well i'm really really sorry to hear about that but then we have got some um i know literally but shit i was i really i might have to message her after and be like are you okay

are you sure i would might have to message her after and be like, are you okay? Are you sure? I will message her after. Let's go. The all-new FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino is bringing you more action than ever. Want more ways to follow your faves? Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications. Or how about more ways to customize your casino page

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for $0 delivery fee. Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Let's go. Someone else put, the second time I met them, I in for lockdown luckily we got on wow so like they fully moved in but this maybe isn't actually as uncommon as i think because like when i first

read that i was like oh my god but my friend has she moved in with her boyfriend's parents and her boyfriend literally a month after becoming official really maybe and she lives with them now nuts to me yeah she lives with that's too fast right i don't think there's many things as too fast as we all know but that in my eyes is just way too fast yeah well she lives with them now and like when she first said it because it kind of it wasn't like meant to happen that way it was her and her boyfriend meant to get a flat and then it fell through so that she didn't have anywhere to live so that's why she moved in with them but i went to their house just before i went to la because i stayed over because i live right by the airport and i was like oh my god this is giving the most wholesome perfect thing i've

ever seen in my life me and byron went me and byron left we were like i feel like i've just been taken in like i feel like i'm homeless and they've just taken me in like it was joking no being serious it was like the sweetest sweetest thing like she is integrated into their family so much that she just is part of their family now and like in her spare time she cleans all the stuff so like if everyone's out for the day she'll go and like reorganize their garage or like reorganize their full kitchen and they'll get back home that is so nice and it's all done yeah they've got like a rotaster like one night the mum will cook one night has will cook one night her boyfriend will cook like it's integrated so well so apparently meeting the parents and moving in is a lot more common personally i've told has this

it's not something i could do i can't see myself i couldn't living with absolutely couldn't i mean i couldn't even i love my family but i couldn't even move back in with my parents no neither i could not live out with my mom and atticus i'm so used to my own space there's just no way same and also like i don't know i'm curious what you think about this but even like living with a partner at this age would scare me a little bit I think yeah and and I also think as well like a month down the line they've done that right like a month down obviously your relationship should always be kept exciting but like this is like the really exciting part and I just don't know if I put my parents there yeah me too and like really I want to look I feel like i want to be able to look forward to like

moving in with someone like a couple of years into the relationship but i'm so happy for everyone that has worked for and especially for has because she is absolutely loving her life in the family home i love that for her i love that my boyfriend did actually move in with my family during lockdown but not a month in oh my god yeah he did yeah do you remember yeah i do remember yeah it wasn't for that long it wasn't like it wasn't like for good it was just for a while yeah and i guess i locked down that kind of had to become a thing just because of the way that the world was going at that time yeah um makes more it makes more sense during lockdown but yeah i i definitely don't think

he would have done that if it wasn't for lockdown you know no also yeah because you guys were in a long-distance relationship as well and it was yeah very very far shock wasn't it shock yeah literally obviously um another one someone said met his parents in a bar whilst they were drunk and it was great and it made me feel so much more relaxed i like that i think that's nice yeah and the fact that the fact that the parents were drunk as well just like takes the edge off it a little bit like i would not be getting i mean i don't know about this person i wouldn't personally want to get too drunk when i'm first meeting the parents no just because i don't want them to see my drunk side just yet um but the fact that they're drunk

love that takes the edge off it completely and I think even just the fact that they're like out at a pub they just want to met them I feel like that is so ideal yeah me too just like a nice chilled nothing too like set in stone like no like dinner or anything like that you know what I would hate as well as if like they had okay so like most times when i've met parents they've just been at home and i've just come over and they're just at home and it's it is like very intimidating and scary yeah if they had siblings and then like their girlfriends or boyfriends were there oh my god i actually think i'd cry what oh what as in like you'd be nervous because they're all there all there yeah if everyone's there i just feel like that's just not it at home yeah it would be very nerve-wracking to meet like

nine people in one go yeah at once especially the family not just friends yeah that is a lot that's a lot of pressure but that is so nice though that like say if they have a i know they have a brother and she has a girl and he has a girlfriend sorry and you can become really good friends with the girlfriend i love that i think that's so sweet yeah definitely um another one that i got was it went really well i met them a few days after our first date and we've now been together seven years oh seven years we love that this is what i mean by like i don't feel like there's a set in stone time scale because in my head I'm like, oh no, I wouldn't introduce them

until like three months down the line, but they're seven years deep in their relationship and they met each other's parents a couple of days after the first date. Yeah, see, I just don't think it needs to be that deep. Like, I just don't think it needs to. I really do feel like it's made out a way bigger deal. I don't know.

I guess it really depends. It really depends, doesn't it? Like on what your situation is with your family I think because I'm really close to my family although it does matter I don't really I don't see it as as such a big deal I don't know yeah and I feel like obviously you have to take into account as well that like every family dynamic is going to be different yeah of course exactly you know we're so lucky to be very close to our families but someone that we're seeing might not be as fortunate in that situation to be as close to their family as they want to be so yeah i feel like you also do have to take that into account would you rather meet someone you're seeing's family first or then meet yours i think i'd rather meet theirs

yeah so but uh yeah so would i think i don't know i would yeah yeah i think i would i feel like it just i feel like i'd feel way less nervous knowing that i've met their parents for when they meet mine and also just the fact that they want you to meet their parents earlier on and like before you've even introduced them to yours yeah that's just a nice feeling isn't it so me too i feel like i'd want them to say to me like i really want to introduce you to my mom like to me that is like one of the biggest compliments that they could give me percent yeah because i'm like oh like you're seeing something serious with me then like if you want me to meet the family unless you're that guy that said whatever he said to you if you watch Tuesday's episode you'll know

honest to god yeah watch Tuesday's episode you'll find out actually it might not be as important I've really gone through it with boys guys but third time lucky we're getting there okay so I've got one more right this is more of a what on earth would you actually do in this situation oh god okay so she said so not meeting the partner's family but her family was meeting his family for the first time in a restaurant right and his ex his parents were in the same restaurant having dinner on the table next to them oh no what what are the fucking chances the worst thing that could ever happen what are the actual chances of that i think if that was no i'm just actually trying to imagine this so like a guy

that i'm with our parents meeting and then my ex's parents no no no it would be i think we'd leave though when you leave what like fully just say like we're not eating here and yeah i think i'll just go some only only because it's awkward for everyone like not like to be dramatic about it's dramatic but like it's you don't even feel like you could have a normal conversation because it's just going to be so awkward yeah and i don't i just feel like they can hear what that's what i mean they could hear your conversation no way so yeah i wouldn't want that at all no like at all so yeah whoever this happened to so i send my apologies because that is like the most small world thing to ever happen yeah well it's obviously she must be dating people

in the same area because like for me that's never gonna happen because i'm always dating people from around the world that's one thing i could be grateful for i don't think that's ever gonna quite happen to me no i mean that could happen to me in the sense of like i honestly would not be surprised if i sat down for dinner with someone and i saw someone else that i'd matched on hinge sat next to me like that would not surprise me at all we literally went to this morning i was out with freya we went paint pottery actually it was really wholesome and the wholeness are you honestly i scream single at the moment um and the guy who was serving us in the little coffee shop beforehand i literally looked at him i thought i've seen you on hinge i literally saw you on hinge this morning when i was scrolling in bed no like but i've told you this before like i end up

matching with like full friendship groups on hinge and you see them all out so like I honestly would not be surprised if you need to not fancy so many people I don't even think I do I'm so picky with who I match with on hinge I think I just have a really good memory in the sense of like I'll know who I scroll past so if I see you in the street I'm like oh you're the same person single yeah right makes sense single okay so what if you hated their parents do you think you would cut it off i actually think about this too regularly it's bad it honestly depends though like why do i hate the parents like are they just rude like are they do i just think they're generally just rude do they not like have an interest in me or have they done something let's say they they're rude they don't really have an interest in you they just don't care

they just don't really care they just don't really like you interest in you. They just don't care. They just don't really care. They just don't really like you. Like it's just obvious they don't really like you. It would make me feel so uncomfortable because like if his parents don't like me, then I think in my mind I would start to think like, are you going to dislike me because your parents don't like me? Like, is that going to be a deal breaker for them? Would I cut it off? I don't know.'s that could be a heart like if i'm so fucking in

love with you and your mom hates me do i want to end it with you i don't know like i don't know what would you do i think i would yeah i think if i'm so in love with someone i don't think i'd cut it off no but I would be so upset yeah me too um and also like you know we all have this like dream and my dream is like you know when I get married one day and having both our families and because I'm so close to my family I'd love to be really close to his family and so I think to not have that like I would really really struggle um and what do you do like again i would be like you i'd be thinking is it going to change his opinion on me i don't know like if it did get to the point where you know he's proposed to me and we're at a wedding with them like his parents want to come because they don't like me that much that's not gonna happen don't worry that's definitely not

gonna happen if it's gonna happen to anyone you know it's gonna happen to single little me but yeah shut up no it's not how can you not like you oh thanks babe yeah i hope i hope especially when you go around with that bottle of wine now oh that bottle of wine that you're gonna tell me to get and that bouquet of flowers exactly i'm winning over anybody's parents so say you like introduce say you introduce someone to your parents and they weren't keen at all but my parents weren't keen yeah oh god okay but you could see potential in that person and like your parents just caught them on a bad day or whatever would you persist at still like trying to introduce them again yeah 100% 100% I would okay yeah say if it got to like three times and your your mom was still saying staff I'm not having it what would you what would you do but it would be really freaking hard if you want me to be

honest because I've done that before and it was so painful and you know what it really did make me it made me not want to be able to I think it did make me go off him ever so slightly yeah because of how strong the opinion was but I remember I think if I was really like the thing is I was never also in love with this guy yeah you were never in love with each other yeah whereas if I'm in love with someone no they're just gonna have to suck up and deal with it I think if I was in love with someone and my parent well my mum really wasn't getting it I think I'd have to sit down with her yeah I would do exactly the same and I'd be like you're actually upsetting me yeah I'd be like yeah you're you're making my life harder now by being like this and I'd be

like what actually is it that you don't like about this boy like i'd really have to get into the detail of it because i love them and i want to be with them yeah no i'd be exactly the same i think like you you would have to sit down with them but that's not gonna happen that's not no and that's not a conversation that i would also want to be having. No, it really, really isn't. No. What about like, okay, what about reverse, not your mum, but what if I hated the guy that you were seeing? Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members. Involuntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal, the deal on a new blender squeal, or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal.

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ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. As in like, so you've met him? I've met him and I'm like, babe, he's a walking red flag. I don't like him. Which by the way, even when I don't like my friends, like boyfriends someone

they're seeing I actually think I'm quite a good friend because like if they ask my opinion I'll tell them but otherwise I'm not gonna voice my opinion because I feel like it's actually nothing to do with me if if you're happy then you do you if you're gonna ask me for my opinion I'll give you my opinion but if you're happy with someone I will let you like by the way i'm actually not very like opinionated in that sense but say for example i did and i voiced up and i was like i hate him he's awful i i would be like shit because normally you would kind of just let it sweep under the carpet not in the sense of like you don't care but like you said you're like you do your thing and like you'll be there for me if it goes wrong and when it goes wrong whatever but if yeah if you voiced your opinion and you genuinely like stepped out and

were like anna this is like not good then i'd obviously i would sit and listen to i'd really like reflect on the situation and be like is there something that i'm not seeing that everybody else can see yeah or i'd take i'd like look at it in that sense but i feel like you're really good in like say if there was someone that i the how do i word this like some of my friends would never see some people that i've spoke to before ever again but i feel like say if i said to you on a night out like oh if we bumped into him would it matter you'd be like and i wouldn't want to fucking speak to him but i would because i know you want to yeah that is exactly how i'd be i think it's because right i think as much as okay say i had say you had a guy that cheated on you obviously i'm gonna hate him right

but at the end of the day you know that i don't feel like i would constantly need to remind you that i hate him also like if you're gonna see him i'm obviously gonna say why would you see him that's stupid that's this is that blah blah but i don't see the point in like constantly just having a go at you because either way, you're going to do it either way. Therefore, you're just not going to tell me. And as a friend, I'd rather you tell me

than feel like you can't tell me something. Yeah. So a hundred percent. Yeah. I think that's why I'm very much like that because I think we've all kind of had that, you know, someone's done something to us

and then we've not wanted to tell our friends because we're scared that they're going to judge us. i would like to think as a friend i wouldn't judge someone for i don't know going back to someone that's like cheated on them or yeah anything like that like i said i'll give my opinion but only really if they're asking for it or unless like i really really felt strongly that i needed to give my opinion because of that awful yeah i feel like there's there's some situations where like i would be like no but obviously like do you know what i mean like i don't know how to word it but i feel like there is just sometimes if you're going back to a certain type of ex then it's probably best a friend does interfere and be like look babe this is probably the best

thing in the world um but yeah i love that i love that about our friendship that we have that sort of friendship where it's like if you want to go fuck up again you can go fuck up again but i'll still be here for you yeah when it all goes wrong and we'll start again because it's all for the plot it is all for the plot it's all life's a movie it's all for the plot well final thought to be honest after hearing a lot of your guys's responses and dilemmas maybe meeting the family doesn't have to be as serious as i originally thought it was and maybe it can be on any sort of timeline maybe yeah i agree your book but i also now do feel 10 times more worried if i'm going to meet me someone I'm seeing's family I feel like it's hearing the dilemmas has not made me excited that's for sure no but that's

very soon happening for you well well yeah do you know what I would like to think I've always been really good at meeting a family but now I'm like now I'm really really quite nervous so no don't stress you've got this I'm waiting for updates on the pod uh before we go where are you going to meet his parents at his house so you're going to his family's house yeah you're staying at his family's house i assume for the weekend yes oh my god i know i love this we might be going out for dinner as well so i think that with the parents yeah oh fuck no pressure then yeah no pressure but that is nice because i feel like i get to dress up look nice do you know what i mean that is like good first impressions which i'm excited for and are you taking a bottle

of wine i'll be taking that bottle of wine okay send me a picture of the bottle of wine that you take i'm going to keep it in here i will do i'll find out if they're like red or white first then i'll then i'll show you okay unreal well have fun i'm excited to hear all about it on the pod thank you and thank you guys as always for sending in your dilemmas make sure to head and listen to tuesday's episode if you haven't already and we will see you again next tuesday for a brand new episode bye everyone bye guys Bye everyone! Bye guys!