Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 35. Your Dating Dilemmas Solved!

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

You asked, we delivered! We answer all of your burning questions and dilemmas in today’s episode, which also features a little story of us potentially being faceapped by the same man a while back??!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's go. Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of Sex, Lies and DM Slides. Can you believe it's December? I know, actually madness. Like this year has gone so quickly, it's crazy. I swear November didn't even happen. Yeah, honestly, November has just gone out of my brain. Like one minute it was my birthday and now it's Christmas.

And I don't even feel like I've done enough Christmassy things. It's actually quite like upsetting me because I have like a month now. I normally start my Christmassy things from November. Well, see for me, I feel like I've started fairly early this year because last year in December, I was in Australia and I didn't get back until the 15th of December. So I put my tree up on like the 17th. So I'm not going to lie.

My tree is already up. Is it? My tree is up. I put it up on Monday and literally my full living room is like decked out with Christmas decor because I was like, I want to start. I want to start early. I want to enjoy Christmas for like two months. Yeah.

No, I love that. I've actually got two Christmas like two months. Yeah, no, I love that. I've actually got two Christmas trees this year. Two? Yeah, because last year I really wanted to go like OTT with my Christmas trees. But I did the thing of just like, I'm just a last minute person. I leave everything last minute. And then I just never like managed to make my house that Christmassy. Like I have my tree, but I have a big house.

So I feel like i could make it look amazing you can make your house at like a full-on grotto like that's what i want to do yeah so i keep just buying easily adding things but my color theme that i've got this year is so hard like it's so hard you can't just buy random things i've gone for like burgundy right it sounds disgusting oh no i'm wearing burgundy now um but it's it doesn't sound nice but trust me it looks incredible like like a dark like mulled wine sort of red like a really dark yeah yeah oh yeah that's i've got a couple of like those sort of like colored ornaments on my tree so really nice kind of like yeah i love that color what color is your tree

my color it's just like a what that actual tree actual tree tree? No, I'm hoping that's green. Well, babe, some people have pink trees. Some people go for glittery trees. Some people have like... I didn't expect you to go for a glittery pink tree. I'm not gonna lie. Not me. My tree is nice and snowy, nice and white. And then I've got like gold, white, and then like really dark red.

Aw, cute. But like the tiniest bit of red. Because obviously last year I did like full white and gold and then this year I was looking at it and I was like it just needs something and I don't know what so I added a little bit of red got like a red blanket on the sofa a couple of red candles very nice oh I want to come to yours see what it looks like I know well I'm coming to yours in about 10 hours I'll be there so yeah no I'm actually I'm so excited yours in about 10 hours. I'll be there. Yeah, no, I'm actually,

I'm so excited to get all my decorations up. I can't even explain like, oh, I just can't wait. I've got four different wreaths for my, is it wreaths? Is that how you pronounce the word? Wreaths, yeah, for the doors. Yeah, I've got four of them.

For your front door? I walked out of home since the other day and I couldn't even see what was in front of me. It was just put one foot in front of the other because the amount that I was holding. How, where are the other three wreaths going? It's because two are going on my gates. And then I'm doing a little bit of DIY. The girl that can't DIY is going to attempt some DIYs.

Then she's like mixing one of the other wreaths and like trying to attach. Yeah, we'll see. You'll see the Santa's grotto after. You know you're taking Christmas seriously when you're putting wreaths on your gates yes babe absolutely that I was actually going to pay for someone to decorate my house because I can't put lights and stuff outside my house like you would need um oh what are they called ladder no but not no like you couldn't have a ladder at my

house what was it called like the actual thing that takes you up. Why can't I think of it? Like a lift? Yeah. Like a forklift? Yeah. Like what are they called? Oh my God, that's going to bust me so much.

It's not a forklift, is it? Because I don't want to, it's not that. No, maybe, maybe that's what it's called. One of the ones where you stand on it and then you'll be like maneuvered up. Yeah, yeah. You have to have that to do my house. Like genuinely, you can't do my house with a ladder. So you would have to have that to do my house. Like, genuinely, you can't do my house with a ladder.

So you'd have to have that. So I was going to pay someone to, like, decorate my entire house. Oh, my God, the bill came through. It was so much money. Oh, you were like lights all over the house. Yeah. But it was, like, disgusting. Like, more than what a lot of people make a year

was how much they wanted to charge me. I can only imagine. Yeah, that can happen. So then she thought, okay, we're going to go HomeSense and DIY. I'm going to do two wreaths on the gate instead. That's a lot easier. Yeah. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee,

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a little girl has the same calendars and he fills up the chocolates himself. Oh, is it like one with drawers? Like a wooden one or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we all get them. But every time one of us hits, like, so basically when we hit 18, he was like, you're an adult now, you don't get them anymore.

But he did this for my brother. But for me last year and the year before and the year before that, and every year since I was 18, he's still giving me one. But I actually don't think he's given me one this year. So I've been like... Oh, giving me one this year. So I'll be like... Oh, no, it's the first year.

Yeah. And I'm going to have no one else to buy me an advent calendar. Oh, I'll get you an advent calendar. Please. I'll stop off at the shop on the way to drive into yours on my 10 hour road trip

and I'll buy you an advent calendar. Okay, thanks. Thanks, please do. I've not got a chocolate one this year. Yeah, I need to still buy one. I've got some beauty ones. I'm actually using one as a tripod. Oh, I have a lot of beauty ones actually, thanks. Thanks, please do. I've not got a chocolate one this year yet. I need to still buy one. I've got some beauty ones. I'm actually using one as a tripod.

Oh, I have a lot of beauty ones actually, yeah. I've got, what beauty ones have you got? I've got a PLT one, which you're currently leaning on. Oh, okay. Thing is, I just opened them early. I can't wait. I got the PLT one last night and I opened every door. No, you didn't.

I did. Every door? Yeah, because I see someone on TikTok unbox it and I was like, fuck this. I'm opening it now. Was it good? Have you not seen it on TikTok? No.

Babe, it looks like what your house would look like if you paid 30 grand for lights. What? It was, it's like a massive like village. That's the only way I can describe it. And like you pull out different, it's like a train that pulls that's the only way i can describe it and like you pull out different and it's like a train that pulls out and it lights up and then like p louise herself was like stood in the door a little silhouette of herself like this and then it's like makeup products like full-size products in each thing it was wild so i want to get it and i literally love

p louise yeah the box, it was massive. It got to me and I thought, what on earth is that? And then I opened it and I had to put it all together. Oh, wow. And then I just opened it straight away. But it's really cool,

I haven't counted up. No, I have a few beauty ones. I have the Sephora one, which I'm excited for. Oh my God, that's going to be so good. And then I have one, which I have.

And then, what else do I have? I'm pretty sure I have another one as well. But yeah, no chocolate one. So yes, if you'd like to put me up a chocolate one, I'd really appreciate it. What chocolate one would you want? I'd love some Reese's Pieces.

Oh, you want a Reese's Pieces one? I would. I would love a Reese's Pieces. Or to be honest, like even Cadbury's. But I've never, you know, like I've never had, like I've never had like, I don never had, like, I don't know. How much does an advent calendar nowadays? I don't even know.

The thing is, they used to be. You know like the cheap, like thin ones. How much are they? Babe, they used to be a pound. Now we're talking in 2023. They probably got like for a Reese's Pieces one, we're probably talking like five, six pound now. That's actually crazy.

But anyways, I've never owned one like that ever in my life. What, you've never had like a thin chocolate one But anyways, I've never owned one like that ever in my life. What, you've never had like a thin chocolate one? No. I've never ever had that. You've not lived? Okay, well, I am turning up to yours

with a chocolate advent calendar tonight because that is wild. Or to be fair though, you will probably be very tempted to eat the whole thing in one. This is the thing, I will actually just eat the entire thing.

But the thing is, I'll still eat it in order. So I'm like, will it still count? Because I'll still open door one, then door two. Really? So it's fine. Oh my God, that's a lie.

I know which one I would want. It's a Tony's chocolate, like 100% because my favourite, favourite chocolate bar ever. And we have had that before. Yeah, my mum had that last year. But when I got it last year, I took the whole front cover off and just took the whole thing out and then just ate it so I didn't even open the door.

You just took the front cover off? Yeah. Yeah, so actually an advent calendar isn't very good for me because I have such a sweet tooth and I get too tempted and it doesn't really work.

I don't need an advent calendar because you may as well just buy me a bag of chocolate. Yeah, okay. I'll just buy you a bag of chocolate then. Just save you from ripping the full door off. Are you going to Winter Wonderland this year? I am actually.

So I've only gone to a little Winter Wonderland in Cardiff. Yeah. And that was really cute, but it's not obviously like Winter Wonderland in London, but it was really cute. Like we went on the wheel wheel did cutesy little things you did all the cute cuddly stuff and yeah my boyfriend actually had an ice sculpture of him in the ice bar which was really cool so it's like a full size yeah like genuinely a full size version of him in the ice bar yeah it was so cool what so um we went and saw that that was

cute went to the ice bar not that we could drink but we went there and what else did we do played games and I lost everyone he won me a teddy basically though even though it wasn't quite even though it wasn't quite um like London's winter wonderland it was just cutesy because I've been single for like such a long time I've just wanted a boyfriend to go to Winter Wonderland. And you finally did it. Finally. But that was like a little version of the actual Winter Wonderland that we are also going to.

So we're going to go there in a couple of weeks. And I'm going with my friends, actually. Yeah, I'm going with my mum and Atticus in like two weeks. Yeah, we're going to go. We're just going to be fun because he's never been. And normally I go with like friends. It would be nice to go with family I don't have a boyfriend

to go with this year but next year actually oh my god that's such a lie we still need to set up this double date we still need to set up this double date we still need to do the double date and someone messaged me on Instagram

and I can't even lie right this is a little bit of a dilemma that I'm going through I can't work out if he's a catfish and face app in his photos to be somebody else but he messaged me asking me can you send me him because I want to yeah right we're gonna do this you're gonna send me it now yeah I

want to send you it now he asked me if he could take me to winter wonderland and that was just like his slide-in message and I thought fair enough because I want to go to winter wonderland so I just replied and was like yeah why not hang on where has he gone um but then I started stalking his thing and I was like you just don't look real like hang on you're gonna know exactly what I mean he's so perfect or almost yeah but like hang on let me send you his profile you're gonna see what I mean and I hope to god he doesn't listen to this and get offended because if you do it like that well done well no that's actually a really big compliment. Oh, this is a mate.

You literally look like an ad for FaceApp. Like if this is you. But I've sent you his profile. Just look at his face. Anna, we've been through this. We know this person. What do you mean? Are you actually joking?

Who's that? He's messaged us so many times before. Both of us. Are's that? He's messaged us so many times before. Both of us. Are you lying? No. I've only got three messages from him before. Babe, I'm telling you now,

he has messaged both of us many times before. Oh, he's fucked it. He's replied to my stories about 25 times. And then I realised he was replying to your stories. Do you not remember this? This was a whole thing. Well, it's ringing a bell. I wanted to see his page because I was like, because I looked at his display picture

and I was like, oh my God, he's beautiful. Yeah, this boy is ridiculous, guys. Well, the slight red flag. He's not real, I don't think. Yeah, I'm actually starting to think he's not real. And I thought really deep into this. This is how much time I had the other night I thought like well if I'm on you know when people like YouTubers do you know like Josh Peters used to do those YouTube pranks where like he catfishes people I was like is this happening to me and I'm like am I having

a date arranged to turn up and be like I mean like on something like do you know what do you understand what I'm trying to get at? Oh my God. That's such a good idea for someone to do. Well, I fucking fell for it, didn't I? Because I thought I'll go and win Twins Island

in a second. Maybe he is an actual person. Maybe he just messages everyone. I don't know. Oh, shit. He's on private. You haven't seen his pictures, have you?

No, this is what I'm saying. I can't see his pictures. Hang on. Wait until you see. Can you send me because I want to see. You are going to piss yourself. Let me screenshot it. Hang on. Honest to God. I mean, it's in no offence to you because you are so good looking. You've

absolutely fucked it now that you've also been messaging my best friend and we've clocked on. But just wait. Hang on. I'm just looking at his profile picture and I'm just like, I just can't work it out. Because the slight like red flag as well is I can't find any videos on his profile and nobody comments on his photos.

Does he get tagged and you've looked at his tags? His tags are off. Okay, so I remember when I saw this person, I didn't know

if he was legit. So I, I also like tried to look for him on Facebook. Everything, I can't find him. Doesn't exist.

Because he slid. I've sent you him. He slid. Yeah. Well, because he slid. I've sent you him. He said, he messaged me on 26th of August. You sent me his profile picture, which I've already seen. It's that second picture doesn't even look real.

Well, that, okay, well, that's exactly what all of his pictures look like. Just send me a screenshot of the profile. Can you just go? And then if not,

I'll be there too. And I'll just. I, well, he's going to have a fucking field day when you turn up as well because he's been sliding your DMs. Two for the price of one. he's going to have a fucking field day when you turn up as well because he's been sliding your dms two for the price of one he's going to be absolutely buzzing I've just screenshot his profile because he messaged me and he messaged me on he put on 26th August he put

wow you're absolutely phenomenal and then 12th September he put Molly Mae is watching you on insta and I thought what a strange thing to message me. And then he messaged me on Saturday saying, I reckon me and you date at Winter Wonderland December 2nd. It's given face up. Oh, it's given face up for real. I told you. Like, yeah, it's really given face up. I don't know.

No, like it's really given face up. Like actually probably one of the worst cases I've ever seen. Like Hollywood 5, Hollywood 50. The the stories what are they like you're saying yeah but there's nothing like there's none of him it's all like pictures of places and what about like the captions are they like what like a normal 20 me drinking wine cypress nights the tongue emoji paris for the weekend this was making me want to be on holes but he posts like

every day and the thing is Anna he sent me the last DM was I can't even read now but yeah

well anyway I won't be going to Winter Wonderland no can you actually go with him can you I don't know if that's a good idea.

I did reply. Yeah, but if you go and he's a catfish, then I will turn up. I did reply and I said... I'll go with security and just be in the background. Security. Then if it is actually him, I'll just... Well, I was busy.

I'm busy on the second and seventh round of my wedding. So I said, I can busy. I'm busy on the 2nd of December. I'm at a wedding. So I said, I can't. And he said, what about the 17th? And I said, oh yeah, I can. So I do actually have plans to go to India on the 17th with him. But the thing is, if he's a catfish, he wouldn't go unless it was actually him.

Like he might talk to you up until that point and then cancel on you last minute. But if he isn't a catfish he will he will go well i haven't replied to his last message purely because i did forget so we'll revisit that first of december because i'm going then and his last message was um to me was now i'm gonna get rinsed on the podcast which makes i don't know which makes me think that maybe he is oh he's defo doing it because he listens to the pod congratulations you've made it

you slid the right person's dms because you've made it yeah fuck oh well i mean to be honest i won't have bothered anyway he like no can you go because i want to know if it's catfish or facetime him can't you facetime him i don't have hisbitt anyway. He like... No, can you go? Because I want to know if he's a catfish. Or FaceTime him. Can't you FaceTime him? I don't have his number. We've only been DMing. Just ask him. Ask him to FaceTime. This is what I do when I speak to...

Like, if I'm ever speaking to someone, I'll just FaceTime them. Right. Okay, so when I'm at yours... You're at mine tonight. Yeah, when I'm at yours, I'll message him back

and I'll say, I think we should FaceTime beforehand. Okay, fine. And we can see if he's a catfish or not. If he looks like that... Imagine if he was a catfish.

If he looks like that, I've fucking won. I've. If he looks like that, if he looks like that, I've fucking won. I've won if he looks like that. Well, I don't know. He is DMing you and your best friend. That is true, actually. I'm not going. He's DMed you.

I'm not going. He's fit, but that's it. Yeah, he's fit. But I will, okay, I will FaceTime him when I get to yours tonight. How wild, I just had to tell you. But I knew I'd seen him before,

but I didn't clock that he'd messaged you. Yeah, we had this whole, because I knew I'd seen him before but I didn't clock that he'd messaged you yeah we had this whole because I think I yeah anyway well that was my one shot going to winterland with a boy well you never know it does come when you're not expecting it so that is true that is very true like it really really is true like I was literally having this conversation with Libby earlier I was like I still can't believe I'm in this situation because I was not expecting to be in the situation that I'm in yeah I don't think I will ever I don't think it's sunk in and will sink in until 2024 that you have a boyfriend because no I know every time I say it is really weird like not weird like

that sounds bad but like it's like it's not weird because I literally feel like I was with this boy from the second I met him but it just feels weird in the sense of like, if it was wrong for me to say I have a boyfriend, I'm always talking about other people's boyfriends. Yeah. And then suddenly you're like, my boyfriend, I've just been here with him. I've just done that with him. Yeah.

It is wild. But I love this view. You're going to have a very wholesome couple's Christmas. Absolutely. At Winter Wonderland. Right. Well, as a little present from us to you guys we are going to help you out with some of your dilemmas i asked on instagram and i got so many and i don't mean to

laugh but i was reading some of them like shit like some of them are not great so we've picked a couple out that we're going to try and help you guys out with the first one this is quite a long one so get ready okay my current boyfriend is now in capitals an angel but it hasn't always been like that we were seeing each other a few years ago and he had a girl best friend and turns out he was seeing us both at the same time and i was gutted but i got over it with that sounds familiar fast forward a few years later he showed me how he wrote this fast forward a few years later he showed me how sorry he was and he's changed but how do I stop myself from comparing myself to her and always having the thought in the back of my head that if he didn't get caught out seeing the both of us

that he would be with her instead help me to stop feeling insecure as we have been together for over a year now and he does treat me like a princess and showers me with love every day that is such a difficult one that i think it depends right because you know what she says she says i keep thinking the back of my head if he didn't get caught out seeing the both of us that he would be with her instead so does that mean that she obviously found out and she thought I'm not gonna go there right yeah I'm gonna yeah whereas the girl in this obviously then has managed to get over it whereas the other girl didn't yeah I think I would really struggle with this but I think it's one of those things,

like, if you accept someone's apology, like, it sounds really brutal, and I know, like, you are doing everything to get over it, but you do have to get over it if you're going to accept someone's apology. It hurts what you're doing. Yeah, you can't, like, use that. It's not even that she's used that against him because

she's not because she's just generally feeling insecure but you've kind of made the decision to stick with him yes you so i don't really think there's any advice other than you literally have to trust him yeah because that is what you've chosen to do and you've been together for over a year now and that is amazing that you know he's showing you all of that love and that attention everything that you want I mean I'm gonna play devil's advocate a bit here if that was me I personally don't know if I could do it just because I am a firm believer in like if if you're in a relationship but you're seeing someone if you really like that person, why would you be speaking to someone else?

I don't understand that. Yeah. I mean, that's the way that I see it also. I guess also there is one thing to note that people can change. 100% people can change. People can mess up. I don't like saying this

because I don't like making excuses for people whatsoever. But if you have been together a year and he's never given you any other reason, then I think it is like you literally do just have to trust that because I don't know, I guess if you have those doubts in mind, there isn't really anything we could say to stop you having those doubts in mind that that's unless you you get that out of your head I don't know maybe I guess I think if it was me I'd have a conversation with him about it because I just think being honest is like the best thing ever whenever I've like felt a certain way like in a

relationship whatever and I've always been scared to address it because I'm like oh it makes me like I'm jealous or makes it look like this. Whenever I've had that conversation, the outcome has always been better. I've always left the situation feeling better. So yeah, so like basically, you're saying she needs to speak to him about it and let him know that she's, obviously she's feeling insecure.

Yeah, because I just think like, although he is reassuring her, maybe you need that extra reassurance. I would also like context on the sense of like, has he ever spoke, have they cut contact? Is she completely gone out of his life? I mean, I'm going to hope that she is.

But obviously he was like her best friend, she said. So like, or she was his best friend, sorry. So if you're listening to this, please message me more context because I'm actually very intrigued as the whole situation.

But 100%, I think speak to him about it. Don't hide away from the fact that you're feeling upset about the situation still. And I completely think fair enough if you are. So 100%. Yeah, I think it would take a lot for anyone to get over that.

And fair play to you for doing that as well. Like obviously you see like a future with him. So if you can see that, then yeah. I mean, I don't think I could, but I also am the most stubborn person you'll ever meet. And I can't get over anything. Like that's it. I don't get over things.

Things don't lose, like don't leave my mind. Like how you can't get out your mind. I lose like don't leave my mind like how how you can't get out your mind I feel like I'd be like that but heightened so I could even I could even try and make this work because I just know what I'm like but that I don't think is a good thing I'd rather be like you and be able to get over things so yeah well please let us know if you do speak to him or anything that continues from this and I really like I just thought I bless you like I understand I completely understand how you feel because I've been in a fairly similar situation and it's like it's actually like comparing yourself to

someone else is one of the worst things in the world because you'll constantly think like what is wrong with me or, why wasn't I good enough? And like, never feeling good. Like that is one of the worst feelings in the world. Yeah. You know how you're like, oh, that feeling of like not feeling good enough. But then you're with the boy, you're with him. So it's like, I think that's what you probably need to remember is like, yeah, you can have those doubts in mind that he could have been with her, but he isn't. He isn't. And you've been together a year now.

So, like, I think that's the most important thing that you need to remember is you guys are together. You've been together a year. He's never given you any other reason. It could, like, you know, if someone was his best friend, like, naturally you are going to have chemistry with them. But, like, it doesn't mean that he would have been with her. Like, he might have just thought at the time, I don't know what I want. Because, you know, that was his best friend as well.

100%. I also understand that. Sometimes you can just take a liking to a friend. Obviously, in this instance, I don't know how deep it was. I don't know how long it went on for. But that can happen. And yeah, like, even though, yes, he got caught out. That's what you said. He got caught out.

That probably made him realize that he does want to be with you. And that is why he is with you now. Yeah. So remember that. Go on, girl. You're going to be fine. You've got this.

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Zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at Sunnybrook.ca slash special. Let's go. Okay, so another confession that we've got. So this one is, so this boy confesses love for me and the day after I went out clubbing and met a different boy I didn't know. I spent three weeks with this new boy getting to know him.

And now I don't want the new one. And it's made me realize I want the old one. But how do I unblock the old one and come up with a story as to why I blocked him for three weeks with no explanation? And then also, how do I tell the new one I don't want anything when they've met my parents? Capsule letters help. First of all, the block button. Right. I feel like that's quite a big deal.

I don't block people. I don't think, well, okay, I've blocked a couple of people. I block someone if they give me abuse. Yeah. But like, other than that, I'm not blocking someone. Yeah. The block button is like heavy. Maybe she blocked him because she didn't want him seeing

like what she was posting on her story if she was posting with this new guy would you post it someone if you've been with them for three weeks i don't know i would oh literally before you said that i thought i know what's coming and i thought how i don't know would you post someone i don't know. Would you post someone? I don't know. Yeah, but like... Okay, my friends wouldn't. None of my friends would post someone

that they've been seeing for three weeks. I wouldn't. Saf's on your side, girl. You've asked the right person. Yeah, but it's different. Like, no, don't even get me into this. I'm not knowing my boyfriend three weeks, guys. Don't give give me that shit it's been three weeks one day no no but seriously like the block button that is like quite serious to block someone first of all but sorry that just

really made me giggle um oh no no i neediant is like, I've known him three weeks. Guys, that's not the case. No, he's known him a lot longer than three weeks. Anyway. But it is something Kai would do, fully. Fully something Kai would do without thinking. A hundred percent. Anyways.

Anyway, back to the dilemma. I don't think she would have blocked him to be posting this new boy she just met. The block button is quite a big deal. I don't know where that's come from. But you know what? Sometimes you do things that you just think, why did I do that?

And maybe it's just one of those. Yeah, you do make random moves sometimes and you've just blocked him. That's fine. And also thinking about it, say she's with this new boy, right? And the day before this guy's confessing his love to her and she's then with this new boy

and he's meeting the parents. Like potentially he could message her again and be like, I loved seeing you, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the new boys have seen it. That might have been why she blocked him. That is very true. Which is very sneaky.

But I'm guessing that's why she's blocked him. But now she's decided she wants the old one and now she needs to come up with an excuse i think there's an easy and i think you can easily find an excuse to as to why you blocked him all right let's try and think of some excuses that she can use i think you could even go as far as like my ex had my login for my Instagram and I blocked you. Wild. Could you not?

My ex had my login for my Instagram and blocked you, but then he could, like, throw it back and be like... And I went to go message you one day and I realised you were blocked. And then he could throw it back and be like, so why didn't you just unblock me when we wanted to message? Yeah, but maybe she just hadn't thought about him that much. Yeah, okay. Or yeah, maybe she could be like... Yeah.

I don't like lying, by the way. I actually hate lying. I do think lying is the worst. Like, even small little white lies, they always come out. So the problem is you just like oh i don't know you could just say it was an accident but like who's believing that like you can't like you can't block someone by accident someone babe at this point you it's looking like you have to be honest honestly looking like your only option no i think the x one's quite a good one actually

i think that's quite blocked well like if someone said that to me I probably would believe it maybe no you wouldn't really well say you're speaking to someone right and he had blocked you and then like he messaged you

a couple weeks later and was like oh my god Anna I didn't even realise you were blocked my ex had my login I've now changed my password so I imagine it was him

I'd be like if we hadn't spoken for three weeks and we were in the talking stage and you'd blocked me but they weren't in the talking stage were they yeah he loved her

he confessed his love to her oh yeah he was he's in love with the girl and she blocked him oh so they were speaking for a while yeah

I thought she just met him out oh okay right they were speaking for a while then he oh no yeah he's confessed his love so then suddenly when her ex has blocked him

on Instagram and they've not spoken for three yeah honesty babe is looking like you don't need

to be honest in the sense that you found someone else but I think maybe just be like I I'm not gonna lie

when you said that it just scared me yeah you could say I think you need to play that card it scared me I ran away from things like that I think that's like the that card it scared me I ran away from things like

that I think that's like the perfect card to play because it's like honest with a little bit of a lie yeah and you can just be like yeah blocking you was maybe a little bit dramatic but like I just needed space I just needed a bit of time don't tell him you met somebody out clubbing but I also like the thing is I get in like if you meet someone out clubbing sometimes it can be a bit exciting like you can meet someone and like you can have a bit of like a whirlwind romance for a couple of weeks and then you can come to your senses and think shit what am I doing so I understand but I do think you need to be honest in this situation and I think the same goes with the other boy that you that's met your parents and stuff as well I honestly think I know it's really hard but you will always

just get caught out in a lie like I just think you should just be honest and just say like I don't really think it's working. A hundred percent. Again I don't think you need to mention the new oh I'm gonna go back to the old guy I don't think you need to explain all of that but just be like I don't think it's working I've realized I kind of brushed into this like way quicker than I ever normally would I think I just got really excited caught up in the moment um and I've just realized that you know you're a really lovely person blah blah blah all the nice sweet stuff but it's not really what it's not really working for me I think that's all you need to do yeah and I think that's completely fair enough and I think he would

appreciate your honesty well it's not honesty but when it is honesty it's kind of yeah it's it's half honesty that we've helped you out with but I think he will appreciate that rather than like blocking him I also think as well maybe you actually shouldn't speak to either of them for like at least a week because I think it's one of those things we always want we can't have and maybe you just want the old guy because you've now got this new guy and this other guy can't like chase you and then I don't know like you might go back to this old guy and think oh god why did I do that I just think maybe I mean maybe still say it to this the guy that you're speaking to because obviously do not just go blocking him.

Please, don't just go blocking him. But maybe just say to him exactly what we just said and then leave it a week before you even go and message this new guy. Maybe unblock him. Maybe he'll notice you've unblocked him and then you can explain later once you've actually decided what you want. Yeah. Maybe you just need to re-evaluate

the situation as a whole because that is quite a heavy situation to be in but you've got two guys there one's blocked ten new loves you one's met your parents like it's you've got a lot going on between two people do you know what i mean so maybe just yeah feelings are hard it is when you're in your feels it's really hard so yeah maybe just take a week out like staff said and just re-evaluate both situations and then come into it with like a fresh head fresh pair of eyes unblock one and block the other no i'm joking don't do that no don't block the other don't do that okay the next one i went on a date with a boy I was talking to for a while. After the date, went back to his and met his family. Why is this happening to everybody,

meeting their family on the first date? This is crazy. Sat around his table and realised his brother was messaging me in lockdown 2020. The brother took pride in making sure his family knew that he knew me. No. I'm going to safely assume he didn't say how he knew you.

Yeah, because I feel like that surely would have been in the confession. Like, surely. But that is so... But surely his brother said how. But do you know what I find weird about guys is that I actually don't really think they care like you know how for us girls we would care

like even this guy that's messaged both of us it's now like a rule out right I haven't even met you but it's a rule out yeah but we're also not even related we're just friends and it's like absolutely like none of us would go there now like i actually don't think boys care that much like the amount of

boys i know that like have slept with the same girls and stuff like who their best mate has and they don't care it's almost a bit in like lad culture to be like oh have you slept with her oh mate i have too that's so weird which is i yeah i think it's gross i think or vile but i don't think well not in our friendships anyway i don't think that's quite common like at all um but i think if like that was the case for us we'd be so upset i would be like so upset yeah i would be like, so upset. Yeah, I would be, well,

yeah, it's gutted, the right word. I don't know. I guess it depends who it is. But do you know what I mean? Like, it just feel a bit like,

especially if you really liked that person and I'd gone and slept with them or vice versa. It wouldn't be like a, let's high five. Well done. Do you know what I mean? But I guess that is life culture. This situation is even weirder

because it genuinely is his brother. Their blood, like that, no, that is this situation is even weirder because it genuinely is his brother their blood like that no that is so strange yeah I wonder what their age difference is between the brothers as well because they were speaking

back in lockdown but that is just wild also the fact that you've taken her back to meet your family after the first date imagine her face imagine her face

walking in and seeing him sat there yeah so she must have actually not have known oh yeah she obviously didn't. Oh, I don't even know what I would do. Like, I genuinely, oh, that's just awful.

I would go so red. So I wonder if the brother knew that was taking her back. I don't think he knew. No, I don't either. But it's weird, isn't it? Because I think most, I just feel like, you know how like we would show who we're going on a date with? Everyone you go on a date with,

I've seen a picture of them, vice versa. Yeah. Like, I, it's hard because both my brothers are in long relationships, so obviously they wouldn't now, but I don't know, like, other people I know, like brothers, they would be like, oh, who are you going on a date with?

Show a picture. Yeah, yeah. But you just would, wouldn't you, if you're going out on a date with someone? 100%. And if you're bringing them back. And she said, well, yeah. And she said that she's been speaking to him

for a while as well. So, like, it's not just like, they've just quickly met on a dating app and, like, let's go for a drink. That is... Well, she clearly has type. Clearly has the same bloodline. But, seriously,

I want to know more context for that one as well. Yeah, I would really, really love to know more context. that one as well yeah I would really really love to know more context I mean I I would feel so awkward I like honestly I feel so bad for you I really really don't know how you even sat in that room and had a conversation I genuinely would have to sit and like think of an excuse to leave I could to leave like my dog's just died but then it's really hard like if she really likes the guy that she went on a date with that is so like imagine that and it's just awkward because then it's like when she's left have the brothers sat down and the brother's been like oh mate

i was speaking to her three years ago and then how did it play out after that have you seen him since have you spoken to him like i and also like how shit from the brother's point of view making out that he like knows her but like yeah she's gonna make her feel like absolute shit that's gonna make yeah that's gonna make her feel awful and the fact he's taking pride in doing it as well but i just want to know what you said like how does he know you please message me and tell me how like what excuse he said to how we met you or how we knew you because honestly that story is actually crazy I just can't even imagine like the way my heart would drop when I walked into that

room like knowing I'm meeting his parents anyway so I'm shitting bricks and then I've spoke to your brother like just get me out just get me out so yeah there's more context on that word i want to know rbc avion visa lets you get there your way whether you want to suit up for peak ski season or spring break with the whole fam and a whole lot of sunblock Or even book last minute and go on a whim. Choose from over 130 airlines on last minute or peak season travel with no points hike. Switch to RBC Avion Visa and get up to 55,000 bonus Avion points. Limited time offer, conditions apply. Visit rbc.com slash Avion.

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Okay. My boyfriend's mom always tags along on dates even without being invited. She came on our third date and my family didn't even know about us. She walks in the room without knocking

and asks to come on holiday with us. That's so strange. Like, that's really quite strange. She tags along on dates and is asked to come on and comes in without knocking.

What? That's so weird. That is... I mean, I'm going to safely assume that the mum is best friends with the son. They must have a very close relationship. But that is... But I even think it's weird from your boyfriend's point of view

because I'm like if that was my boyfriend and they weren't saying anything to their mom I think that would be really quite strange like don't get me wrong I think it's lovely to have a relationship with your boyfriend's mom I genuinely think that's the night if you could have that like you're super lucky and I think that's so nice but like tagging along how they're like yeah like that's a lot yeah and I would want my boyfriend to have that relationship with his mom because like you said so lovely but if I'm only like getting to know him as well like and we're on a third date and his mom comes like I don't know what I'm like that is a lot yeah that is different like you know if he was out for dinner and then like i don't know his mom was out and like you all ended up meeting

like totally different totally different really lovely oh my goodness really nice had your day now going out this mom like getting close to her that's really lovely yeah i'm just imagining like is she at his before then the mum's just like you ready to go like and they're like because she said he's she's not been invited so what she's just like where are you two going for food oh amazing I'll get my coat on like how does that work stop stop because like I would I don't well the thing is if that was me I would say mum like no no I wouldn't just go mum no I'd go mum are you joking well yeah obviously yeah I'd be like and then if she insisted I'd be like no mum seriously like I'm going on a date like no you're not coming I mean it's lovely that she that she wants to do that with both of you it's clearly clearly she really likes you she's taken such a liking to you babe she's loving it

but to go on holiday with you as well that's quite and to what the walking in without knocking it's bizarre that is bizarre that is you gotta knock i even think it'd be less weird if it was like her mom his mom and dad because like at least like if they came it was like they was always doing double dates. But it literally is them two on a date and his mum. Like, it's just weird. Table for three, please. And it's like they're on a date and it's like the mum's just sat there like,

what do you speak about? Like, what does she, like, I don't know. That is baffling to me. Yeah, that is bizarre. Has, again, we need more context with this Dilemma's Guide. Has she carried on coming on dates with you is she have you booked the holiday with her like what what is the deal surely they haven't booked a holiday together imagine she messages me yet we've booked an all-inclusive for cyprus

next year for three of us like i i need to know more context on this one because that is just crazy but it's a fact that she said my family didn't even know about us so she's not even told her family about him yeah that's really strange but i just don't understand why he hasn't said anything to her and his mom neither like how's your boyfriend said something to you like i'm really sorry about my mom doing this yeah i would maybe ask if he hasn't i maybe ask him and just be like is this normal for your mom like does she always do this i would genuinely i would have asked by now babe i would have asked the first time like i i would have asked the first i i genuinely i would have asked the first time i think you're obviously too nice you need to ask him because

it's it's not normal yeah that is and it can't be normalized we just can't be a hundred percent but if you have booked the holiday let us know where you're going i'm very intrigued okay last one i really like this boy but i don't know if i should be making the first move and starting the conversations as i didn't know how he feels either and i'm scared just in case he doesn't feel the same way oh thanks Kelly I have a strong opinion on this I know you do go on because we're gonna I think we're gonna have opposites gone opposites well maybe because I don't mind making the first move I feel like you're gonna say never make the first move no I actually am not going to say that. I was going to say, okay, I see.

Okay, I have two different thoughts on this. First thought is you've literally got nothing to lose. Like worse comes to worse. If someone's a bit more shy, like it could be, you know, that he's a bit like shyer. He's maybe not that confident. We don't know, right? So it could be that he doesn't want to make the first move

because he's thinking the same thing. And therefore, you're never going to get anywhere. So shoot your shot. You've got literally nothing to lose. Like the worst thing that could happen was, oh, I realized, okay, maybe he doesn't really like me that much. It's not that big of a deal. Like people message people all the time.

Like to you, it would feel like a big deal, but it really isn't a big deal. But at the same time, I'm also like the way that I see things is if someone likes you it should be clear like you'll know if someone likes you because it should be so clear and I don't know I think that's why Anna immediately was like I would I would be like I'm not messaging him first not because oh I'm trying to play it cool but just because I I would look at it like oh well they obviously don't like me enough because they'd make more effort but at the same time he could be feeling the same way that you are in the sense of I don't know if she likes me I don't want to just like keep pestering her and again if you're both thinking that you will never get anywhere but like I feel like I have adapted your mindset in

a sense of like I used to message a lot of people first I had like and I still don't really have any shame in like sliding someone's dms I've literally done it several times in the last week but like if I used to message loads of people just out of the blue whereas you were like no and if you're gonna do it at least do it like replying to a story or you know like if they wanted to message you if they wanted to take you out on a date they will message you but then yeah you have got to play devil's advocate in a sense of like they could be really young and he might be really nervous he might have never taken a like a girl on a date before or vice versa she might not have been on a date like it it is one of those weird situations where you're like really excited because you like someone and you want them so badly to do something

about it but he's just not so I don't I think if you really like this boy and you want to try it just maybe try and start a conversation with him and maybe see if he'll kind of like also how long they've been speaking like if you've been speaking for like months on end, but like now and then you would exchange a message. Well, to be honest, she hasn't even gave context in the sense of their speaking. They might just be like friends at school. No, exactly.

That's what I mean. So I really think it depends. Like, you know, if you, I don't know, if you say you were like texting each other or whatever, but like, you know, it was every now and then, like once a week or whatever. In my opinion you know, it was every now and then, like once a week or whatever. In my opinion, I see it as he doesn't like you enough because he would just make more effort.

Yeah. But if you've only ever exchanged like two messages before, then yeah, like go ahead, be the first person to shoot your shot because you never know, like he could be nervous to do that. But he might be so happy. Yeah, he might be so happy when you message. Yeah. When she's messaged me like me like oh she does feel the same way

like i get i remember being in school and being like well i don't know how old you are but i remember when i was like 15 16 if i liked someone in school like i would be too scared to message them and i feel like they were too scared to message me and then it comes out years later that you actually had a crush on each other yeah yeah yeah that is true it could be one of those maybe I just think do it just I think do it but I think I think message him first and you know maybe be a bit more forward be more forward than he is to get and see what his reaction is and if he's giving you absolutely nothing then that's probably your sign that maybe he doesn't like you as much as you like him. 100%. Yeah.

So I actually in this, I in this case think that you actually should, but I just think don't like be too annoying. Like just, just like shoot your shot once sort of thing. Just, yeah. Just try and start like a normal conversation.

Yeah. 100% and then follow on from whatever. Yeah. Like, it's like Saf said, if he doesn't give you a reaction there's your answer if he does amazing you might just find yourself a boyfriend

well thank you all so much for sending in all of your dilemmas we got so many more that if you want us to answer more let us know also I'm going to need a lot more context on some of these dilemmas. Yes, please, guys.

So all of them, if you're listening. We're too nosy. We want to know more. You can't tell us half a story. Unfortunately, when I'm asking for a dilemma, I do want your full life story because I need to know every single fact. Or you could even voice note. Like if you can't be bothered to sit there and send two paragraphs, please just send us a voice note. We'll somehow figure out. Oh yeah, I will listen to the voice note and then we can write it down to the nobody knows that it's you yeah so no like you're happy for us to share the voice note you can let us know

either way or yeah or you can be outed it's completely up to you but yeah we want more context please and that's it i want more context also make sure to come back on Thursday for a nice little bonus episode where I'm going to tell you about my first date. Lovely. I'm excited for this one. Yeah, I'm not as excited to share this story. I mean, it's a good story, but it's just nerve wracking, isn't it? Talking about like your own. Yeah, your own past experiences. My own situation. Yeah. No, but it's going to be a good one. i've heard it and it's a very good story it's gonna be good you're in for a treat on thursday thank you so much guys for listening and we

should see you on thursday bye guys