Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 38. Dating advice: DM’s edition

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

We always love doing a little q&a so we thought why not do it again this week! We help answer your dating problems from what gifts to get your special someone (because honestly shopping for men can be so hard!) Plus will we be each other’s maids of honours one day?? And Ana admits to a quite an embarrassing twerking encounter with her mum! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hi everyone welcome back to sex lies ndm slides with me anastasia kingsnorth and me saffron barker and happy thursday it is the bonus episode of the week i love these little episodes i feel like they're short but sweet like i just really enjoy the topics that we always have on here i know like we dive into things more on a tuesday episode but i do really enjoy the topics that we always have on here I know like we dive into things more on a Tuesday episode but I do really enjoy the little bonus episodes me too I feel like they're just fun little like how we did the friendship test and like stogmarry avoid and stuff like that I just like doing fun little challenges yeah I guess so yeah so we thought oh go on what were you gonna say I was just gonna say right we don't really

say this very often but whatever you're doing right now just wanted to ask everyone if you could just pause and follow us on spotify because there's a lot of you that listen to our podcast but don't actually follow us so make sure you do that leave a review if you can leave us a five star rating i feel like we don't ask often so we're asking right now please do that so we can that would be lovely continue doing the podcast and that would ensure that you don't miss any episodes as well you'll always get notified when we have a new episode every tuesday and also can we just talk about how many people on spotify wrapped like the amount of tags i got people sharing our podcast was like number one most listened me too i was so excited by it like when

spotify rap come out straight away i was like oh let me check my tags and see if anybody's listened and people were sending me and they were like top 0.5% listeners they'd listened to like 2,000 minutes of the podcast and I thought oh my god yeah you've listened to every episode that is amazing how you're listening to my voice for that many minutes I don't know and I apologize but I literally was just thinking I am so sorry but I'm glad that you're enjoying. Anyways today's episode I guess is a little bit more personal isn't it? It is we thought that it'd be fun to do basically just a Q&A like you can ask us whatever you want and we will sit and answer. I don't think me and Saf have done like a joint q a on youtube for actually years so this is going to be fun i'm excited for this and i feel like also we probably get very similar questions so we definitely do like easy enough for us both to answer them um so yeah like

the amount of like responses i got was actually nuts i've got so many i think people are quite excited by this q a do you want to go first um and then I guess we'll just take turns at reading like we haven't I haven't actually even read through the questions yet so I'm going to be reading through them almost literally for the first time I've literally just clicked on the Q&A box I'm just going to have a little scroll down so oh this is a funny one I wonder I've got one for myself actually but I'll ask you at first what is your most embarrassing date with a guy I genuinely don i wonder i've got one for myself actually but i'll ask you at first what is your most embarrassing date with a guy i genuinely don't think i've had one and that's

a bit like i know that sounds so boring and i hate to be that person but i actually don't think i've actually ever had one well i didn't have one apart from this one story this spring so as soon as i read it i thought oh god and what was it when I got hit by a car on a date sorry what you didn't know that I got hit by a car I've never told you this story no one I didn't know you got hit by a car and two I did not know you got hit by a car on a date oh my god have I never said this on the podcast no I got hit by a car on a date guys it was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my life but what do you mean you got hit by a come on you need to explain this so last year I went on a date with someone

and the way I met them through a friend of a friend right and they came and stayed with me for the night and we'd arranged to go to this restaurant and stuff I'll send you who it is after that he was lovely looking actually and we we'd just been for food and I wasn't I literally wasn't drunk or anything I think it's just Manchester City driving we were crossing the road it was safe for me to cross I was in no fault of my like this was no fault of my own an uber literally just drove hit me luckily i wasn't like on the floor like i didn't need an ambulance or anything he obviously stopped when he hit me but he hit my leg and yeah i got hit by a car and obviously how fucking embarrassing how embarrassing

is that and the guy is obviously like trying not to laugh i want to shrivel up into a hole and not come out i just can't really imagine that like it was just the and like the whole way down deansgate then walking home we just laughed because i thought how has this happened and it's like i couldn't escape him because he was then coming to sleep at my house afterwards oh wow and i've just been hit hit by a car so that is my most embarrassing day story i wasn't hurt thank thank god yeah and it's hard isn't it i hate when things like that happen and it genuinely isn't your fault but it's also like what the fuck yeah i've never heard you i've never heard you say i don't even understand i don't think

i've told happened to be completely honest i think i don't think i've told many people i think i might have put it in the group chat as soon as it happened. Because I was like, how has this happened? And did you speak to him for long after, by the way? I never saw him again. Let's go. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee. Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for.

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Or how about more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca So you know like how guys have icks and stuff or like if we have ics i always feel like if you really like someone honestly there's nothing they can do to give you the ick and i thought you were

gonna say this was a guy that you was with for a while but um maybe not i i think i think i got the ick about myself so he probably got the ick about me he didn't say it though like he was very like yeah but babe you were gay you got hit by a car that's not your fault no of course that's not my fault and I just like it would have been him if he was walking on that side do you know what I mean like it just happened to be that I was on the side where the car hit so that is well we can laugh about it now because you didn't get hurt so exactly we can laugh about it that's made me think well of course I actually the only embarrassing date I've had is the one where I was sick of Lewis so that would be my most embarrassing day there you go obviously why did that not come to

mind yeah you've been sick I was hit by a car yeah but we're still crazy my most embarrassing date is the one that I've kept so well I love that for you maybe this guy will resurface. He was lovely. If you're listening, hey, your turn. Okay. This says, I got a lot of these actually. So I've got a lot of like Christmasy questions actually. Oh, fun. Okay.

But this one said, best Christmas gift for a guy. Wait, it says for a guy that you're seeing. Links after that. And I feel like I've really been struggling as to what to get my boyfriend this year so I thought I'd jump in with some ideas okay well I gonna put it out there I've never bought a guy anything for Christmas

I've never had to do that oh my god that's so crazy well let me put it this way it's hard I honestly like the only guy that i buy for apart from atticus obviously which is toy is my uncle and like i always see all the jokes about like links africa gift sets all that link stuff but like i'm not getting that for a boyfriend so what would you what what what do you buy i do feel like aftershave though is such a good shout yeah aftershave is a nice shout especially if it's one that they really like. And also, I feel like, guys, you kind of are buying yourself something because whatever your boyfriend smells like. Like, for me, a guy that smells nice is one of the most attractive things in the world.

So if I'm buying him something that smells nice, I get to smell it. So you're kind of a win-win there. You're reaping the benefits of the Christmas present. You really are. You really are. But also, I just think, like like something personal is always such a good idea because I do think guys are super hard to buy for like just being a girl like buying a guy something it's just hard like to know their like fashion sense and what their their style and what they're

gonna like I just think it's quite hard so I found a lot of times like I've like had things that are like personalized like I remember oh that's once before like even like my brother like his fiance bought him a locket that was like really nice like that he would wear every single day obviously it's not the shape of a heart it's like a like a dog chain necklace and it was really nice and then inside it was like a photo of three kids oh I love that personalized thing I think is always a really good shout because boys actually do love like thoughtful presents. More than I think they do.

Yeah, I feel like they pretend that they don't, but then when they get them, they're like, oh. Yeah, and that's like a thoughtful thing, but also it's like a two-in-one because it's something that I actually wear. Like, again, I love guys that wear like rings and necklaces and like nice jewelry and stuff and most guys do wear that so if you buy them a nice necklace but also it has the thought behind there I feel like you've kind of

killed two birds in one stone there I love that you have so many good ideas because genuinely like if I was to think about what I would buy a boyfriend for Christmas I would go down the fucking links and boxer route so um that's thank you for the ideas hopefully next well there was only really two ideas but I just feel like something thoughtful also I think you can easily buy like a guy like a nice wash bag or like travel stuff is something I always like reeling off the present ideas you should do a Christmas gift guide god my boyfriend's gonna be expecting a lot um yeah no I actually think like a nice wash bag is actually quite a good yeah quite a good present like and just

anything travel or like a duffel bag because most guys would use it don't probably have one already themselves quite a good idea weirdly i'm i know my uncle's not gonna listen to this i thought my uncle a duffel bag for christmas have you yeah it's a it's a duffel bag and it's got a couple of bits inside it but i think that's nice it arrived i thought oh that's lovely yeah very nice love that and like depending obviously like on your budget like a nice like leather duffel unreal like obviously that's a lot more pricey I don't know how much budget people have but like that is such a nice guy present that they would travel with all the time there you go I hope that

kind of helped on the gift giving idea I'm not sure how much it did but okay I've got a bit of a random one a baby name that you love but you won't be using oh I don't uh okay um because the thing is all the baby names I have on my notes I do love and I don't know which ones I want yeah do you know what I think you're going to be surprised by this because I wanted this as my oh but do I still want it as no I don't want it as my baby name anymore oh but I still do love it but now I'm put off it I okay yeah I have one that I love but I won't be oh I don't know though no I'm gonna say the name that I've never ever ever said before that for I would say for eight years I wanted to have my baby's name okay but now I'm not gonna have it as my baby's name anymore and I always always and it's so weird like the last year I've

changed I'm like nope don't want it anymore but I always wanted to call and it's so weird. Like the last year I've changed, I'm like, nope, don't want it anymore. But I always wanted to call my daughter Nevaeh. And Nevaeh is actually heaven backwards. So the way that it's spout is so nice because it has a H on the end. That's gorgeous. But then I saw this post about someone called Nevaeh. And everyone was like, that's a horrible name, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh.

And I don't know why. Everyone was like it sounded chubby and it really put me off it and I'd never heard that well I had heard the name before because my mum used to be a foster carer and one of the daughters was called Nevaeh and I fell in love with it but aside from that I'd never heard it so yeah I've never well I've never heard that name before that's the first time I've heard it well you must have heard it from me from you but like I don't know anybody oh right yeah i've never yeah such a gorgeous name i don't know why i've changed i also think i've changed my mind because like i've spoken about it for so many years yeah through different stages of my life and i'm like yeah i just don't think i'll use that name i so i

have a list of names and i'm once right there's I mean no offense to this thing because I still think I actually don't mind the name but like I had like a spurt of a 24-hour span where I was adamant I was gonna call a baby girl this if I had one and then I said it to everyone and they went you're not calling your baby that and I said I think it's a lovely name why do I feel like it's gonna be like what I want to call my girl or something like I'm a bit nervous for this no I think it's a gorgeous name but now I just won't call my baby it okay Tiger Lily oh you've told me this have I told you this before I yeah I heard it and I went that's it I went that's the one and then everyone put me off it within about the span of like 10 minutes but

I think it's a gorgeous name and I also love the name Noah for a boy but I don't think oh yeah it's cute but yeah Tiger Lily was like one that I was obsessed with for ages I'm not I'm not obsessed with Tiger Lily no I'm not anymore I don't know what it is like I kind of get what you're saying like it's kind of really pretty but it's kind of I don't know it's I yeah I'm just not a fan on it for my own baby anymore but then my now my baby names are polar opposite to that don't think i've ever told you my baby names i don't think so i actually want to find out after this i can't ever say i'll screenshot you the list of what ones i've got wrote down and i'll send you them yeah because i wouldn't want to send them online but yeah i'll send you my baby i've got all my baby names as well yeah who do you think would

have oh actually that's not talking about us yeah who do you think would have oh actually let's not talk about it I was gonna say who do you think will have baby first let's not talk about it let's avoid that one okay right would you be each other's maid of honors oh yeah I definitely would see this is I actually but the thing is I would love you to be my maid of honor because I think you would be you are so organized I'm so close to you you know me so well but the problem is I've got so many gut like I have Nicole I have Imogen I'd like I would feel so bad yeah I feel like I'd have like five maid of honors if I could I I've had the maid of honor chat with all of my friends as well and and I had this with Tanisha

the other day weirdly actually because me and Tanisha were saying that we'd want to be each other's maid of honors but then there's so like we were making valid points as to why it could be other people as well and I think when I pick my maid of honor that is actually going to be the hardest decision I'm probably ever going to have to make because I don't want to offend anybody if I don't pick them because I love them all the exact same but I don't know how I'm gonna pick yeah like I know that you would absolutely smash be my maid of honor and I'd love you to be but like I'm like you I don't I have too many girls in my life I don't know how I'd pick I feel like I'd be able to pick out the hat and you've And you've also got Nicole and Imogen who are like family,

like sister-in-laws. So you have a lot of, I don't have that, but well, might do by the time I get to it because I might have a girlfriend. But yeah, I have too many options for a maid of honour. So basically we actually don't know. No, I don't actually know. But either way, you'd be a bridesmaid. Yeah, 100%. And vice versa. Yeah, if it wasn't maid of honour, you'd be a bridesmaid yeah a hundred percent like it would like if it wasn't yeah if it wasn't made of honor it'd be a

bridesmaid so like either way yeah still to be honest like the pressure of being a maid of honor anyways is like a lot it's a lot of work to be a maid of honor I actually didn't realize like how much planning and everything thing goes into a wedding and being a maid of honor to be honest I wouldn't trust me as a maid of honor no it's yeah it's you need to be and you are but be organized like if i if it was someone else's wedding i would devote so much because i know how unorganized i am in life that i would never want to like mess it up so i know that i would be an amazing maid of honor but like i don't think anyone's thought of mine would be like, pick Saffron as my maid of honour because everyone just knows I'm chaotic.

But last minute, I've got things for the wrong day. I think it just kind of sums me up. In no offence, I would be a little bit stressed out. I would be a little bit stressed out about the wedding. I wouldn't blame you. But it's funny because imogen was saying to me how she wants me and her sister to be made of honor because she was more than one yeah yeah but i mean obviously if you name everyone you're made of honor then then yeah

so um yeah she wants me and her sister she was like for two different reasons she was like my sister because she's amazing at like the organization and everything like that yeah she was like but also we haven't lived together for however many years um basically she wants her sister as it but like I was saying to her like oh but I basically she was saying to me but because we've got really close I would also know everything she'd love as well so she was like you two together would be amazing so I feel like I'd be good as like a second maid of one I like to like know what people want but maybe not do the organization maybe not the main one yeah I like that that's good it's a new day how can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points?

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Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons. Two scientists. One movement disorders coordinator. 58 answered questions. Two focused ultrasound procedures. Let's go what's each other's favorite look that we've done this year for like an outfit a carpet anything i have one for you immediately i think in my head really what when we went to the NTAs I absolutely loved your dress and hair for that I thought that was a 10 out of 10 slay wow thank you that that is probably one of my favorite dresses I've worn yeah I thought that dress is absolutely phenomenal

yeah I mean Rick Owens is like my dream like the fact that I was wearing that I don't even know myself because normally like I would always opt for a black dress right and I've seen recently someone wear that dress in black but I looked at and I thought no the brown one it was it's actually phenomenal well I got it in brown and black and I tried black as well there was something about do you know I just love dark brown as well like I just love it it was gorgeous I think it was like the material the cut of it just like and brown as well. Like, I just love it. It was gorgeous. I think it was like the material, the cut of it, just like, and the hair, just everything about it, you just were giving like Hollywood movie star.

I can imagine you. Oh, thanks. Yeah, it was giving those vibes. Love it. Well, I think my favourite of yours was definitely your most recent, being the Fashion Awards. Oh, the Fashion Awards. Mermaid though, Mermaid premiere, you looked unreal as well.

That was a vibe. I did love that look, but i think the hair for my fashion awards look kind of just like was everything i looked at it i was like wow this is my hair right now yeah like you looked honestly phenomenal oh my god thank you even though getting that hair out was the worst thing i've ever had to do in my life oh don't i hate taking my hair out after an event I had it is quite possibly the worst thing babe I had about 70 bobby pins in my hair and we'd use this like gel and like got to be hairspray so my hair was solid like when you watch on tiktok those people those like swimmers and stuff take out the the things in their hair have you seen it no oh I'm gonna have

to send you it's so satisfying their hair goes like solid because they have to put this thing on their hair and it literally felt like that taking it out was an absolute nightmare and I sat in the shower for about 45 minutes just with the water pouring on my head to take it out but it was so worth it yeah it was worth it because it looked good for that that's how I see it I'm like it's all worth it but beauty is pain fashion exactly so loved it so there was quite a lot of questions um on like confident like advice and stuff and I just thought it'd be cute to answer so like this one is says well this one says how do you feel more confident in the bedroom but there's another one that's like how do I just

become more confident and I feel like my answer to this is going to be the same for both of them um and I know this is probably this might even be horrible horrible advice but for me I really believe confidence I think is one of the most attractive things in the world not having an ego but just being confident within yourself and I always get asked how are you so confident but genuinely like yeah I think I'm confident but a lot of the time I fake it till I make it and my mum's always told me that and I really really genuinely believe you actually almost do have like especially with the bedroom for an example you have to fake it because if you can fake it you they believe it that you almost believe it yourself that I actually I don't know this is horrible advice but sometimes I feel like you've actually just got to do that yeah I don't think that's horrible advice I've definitely like a lot of time with confidence

faked that I have it and it works like I agree with you like confidence is so attractive and I think confidence can like completely change a look on a person like because I feel confident when I'm in like a nice outfit that I wear right that just makes me naturally more confident like if I'm comfortable I'm going to be more confident but if I was in like an outfit that I didn't wear I would feel less confident if I faked it it's going to make that outfit look better exactly and I feel like because you're because you're not talking negatively to yourself and you're like yeah right say like I felt insecure the thought process through my head is oh my god everyone can also see that I'm really insecure like that's like what goes through your head whereas like if no one else can see it

you're almost gonna believe it more i don't know i just really believe in like confidence sometimes you have to do that and a lot of people you look at that you think are really confident probably actually are doing that but i also think another thing and I think I definitely need to do this to myself um actually my friend said this to me yesterday I keep getting told it a lot recently so I really kind of need to work on this myself but I do think just talking nicely about yourself like being kinder towards yourself will make you more of a confident person because if you're constantly telling yourself bad things you you do start to believe them and that will make you feel less confident so I think I genuinely making a conscious effort of being nice to yourself is super important I think that's one

of the best things that like I've ever recently started doing like complimenting myself on the parts of myself that I do really like and it just yeah it just it does make you feel more confident and being not you're right being nice to yourself yeah like it is really hard it's so hard like nowadays there's like social media and everything there's so like it's so easy to feel down about yourself like the way that you look the way that you feel but that just that one little being kind to yourself like oh I look nice today yeah it's just gonna boost your confidence well it's crazy actually because my one of my really good friends when she said this to me yesterday what she said to me and it's really kind of stuck with me she said Saffron if you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself

i'm telling you now you'd have no friends and i thought to myself oh my god that's so true like i would never ever say or think these things to my friends so like actually why do i say them to myself that is so true yeah and i just think actually it really made me think oh my god i shouldn't be talking to myself like this because you do you start to believe the things that you say and so I do think that will knock your confidence massively I've never thought about that or like heard somebody say that before but that is scarily true I know it really like hit I was like oh that's gonna resonate that's gonna resonate with me now when I think when I say something about myself and I think well I wouldn't say that to you or I wouldn't say that to anybody else. So why should I be saying it to myself?

Yeah. And they are worse to live by. They are. Preach. They are. Preach. Everybody take that from this podcast. God, it really sounds like I really have no confidence there.

But I think like most of us, we all just give ourselves like a hard time. I think I'm also someone that's like, and I know you're the same like we always thrive for so much which is such a good thing but then also it means that you knock yourself down quite a lot when you don't reach those things or if it takes longer than you've and you question you question why it hasn't happened for you exactly yeah yeah so it's like I'm gonna live by those words I love that I think that's a lovely way to round up the podcast. A nice little bit of positive advice. Yeah. I really enjoyed that.

Well, thank you so much, everyone, for sending in your questions. I mean, the amount of questions we've been asked is crazy. So if you do like our advice and want to hear more questions and answers. Yeah, just random questions. Yeah, let us know if you want to see more of these in the bonus episodes because i actually really enjoy doing them as well so i really enjoyed that i think that would be nice and yeah we did get some very random questions we only answered like four five one of them was who's most ticklish i saw and and can you twerk

who can twerk uh i can confirm i can't i thought you could it can it can move it's not like it's not giving ironing board but like there's a little say about the the time when your mom caught you have you ever said that or not oh my god have you ever said that or not i don't think so this is the most embarrassing thing that has actually ever happened to me and i have video proof of it right the video guys when i tell you it's hilarious oh my god it's so funny this this is when i lived at home and i just i had an obsession for a couple of weeks about really wanting to like teach myself to twerk i think it come from tiktok because it was in lockdown everybody was working whatever and that's why i think I thought you could but obviously not well in that video I

actually can so maybe I can I just I lost my lost my vibe a little bit but we'll try again later um I put the camera up and I was like oh I'm just gonna see if I can twerk so I try it as I'm fucking doing it my mum walks into the bedroom. As I'm like bent over. With a camera. On camera. With a tripod. And she just stares at me. Like she's just looking at me like, what are you doing?

And I was like, nothing. But the worst part of it is I'm in my knickers. Honestly, guys, the video, it looks like she's doing something that isn't working. So wrong. The video is so funny if it almost it's the way your mom shouts at you she's like what are you doing what are you doing and i'm just like i'm nothing like i was and the worst part of it is i wasn't 12 i was like 20 trying to work that's so funny to answer the question a person says can you twerk not really not really no I can't well thank you all very much for listening I really hope you've enjoyed

um yeah and we shall see you guys next Thursday with another episode bye guys bye