Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 42. 2023 life lessons

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

It's nearly the end of the year so Saff & Ana chat about their 2023 life lessons with a list of what they've learned, and what energy they're taking into 2024 with them. HNY everyone! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit connectsontario.ca. Let's go hi everyone and welcome back to sex lies and dm slides it's thursday which means it's time for a bonus episode of the week and we are closing in on an end of another wild ride and today's episode is all the lessons that we've actually learned in 2023 and personally I feel like this has probably been I would actually say this has probably been the hardest year of my life like a hundred percent honestly I would also say it's up there with like the top three hardest years of my life as well really also also one of the best though at the same time I feel like it's been a very bittersweet year really okay yeah so we're going to discuss 12 things

and 12 lessons we've learned and also going to hear from you guys as well I was just sat reading some of your responses and I'll just say some of them are stuff and some of them are so lovely some of them are so deep and things that like I hadn't even considered when writing this list but completely agree with yeah at the same time um so I think let's just get straight on into it because I feel like we've got quite a few to go to I'm excited because I feel like there's been lots of highs and highs and lows this year so I feel like me too also I feel like we've had very different years to each other like I just yeah we've both gone through a lot of different stuff um yeah and different challenges and stuff so I don't know are we gonna do it like you do six and I do six or should we

just take turns I think let's take turns okay okay okay let me get my little list up okay first one right this was and this immediately came to my head first thing I've learned this year is your health is absolutely everything. And I feel like before this year, I maybe took my health for granted a little bit and was just kind of like, I've always been touch wood, very, very healthy, never really had any issues in that department. And then this year, everything kind of just went down south. And I literally had the worst first six months of my life. I did not want to leave my bed I would cry every day thinking I was dying and I got diagnosed with PCOS which is not ideal at all um and I just realized like coming out of the end of that like medical anxiety that life is so precious and

your health is actually everything. Like if you have your health, then it's amazing. And yeah, I think I really took that for granted in previous years where it was like now, like that I will always be like, it sounds so stupid and maybe it doesn't sound stupid, but I will always like randomly just be like, thank you. If I'm in like good health and if I can enjoy something and like be healthy enjoying it. It's crazy, isn't it?

Because sometimes it does take something like that to happen for you to actually appreciate what you've got 100% I think it's so easy for all of us just to get caught up and like not realize how lucky we are I mean my my first one was honestly going to be so similar to yours and that was just life is so short and just not to take everything for granted because I think yeah I mean obviously my brother's heart attack was literally new year last year so yeah technically not really this year but it was like his whole rehab and everything was at the beginning of this year and you know my I thought I was going to lose my granddad at one point like he was so ill my grandparents had been ill I mean I'm so lucky to have both my sets of grandparents but they both both sets of

grandparents have been extremely ill this year um and actually pretty much everyone in my family has been unwell like my dad is very like my dad basically has skin cancer my brother with his heart attack my grandparents honestly the list could go on and on and on. And so I feel like this year has really made me realize that, like you said, health is just so important and we don't realize how lucky we are. And I have lots of friends that like, you know, are really, really going through some awful health problems at the moment. And so I think, yeah, the yeah the same thing really I don't want to go on about it for too long because it's just the same as yours but I do think this year's really made me realize um how life short can be and how like honestly not to worry about like the little

things in life like there's so many times like I worry about these tiny little things and I just think you're literally healthy you're alive it. It's like, you're so lucky. Like, why are you worrying about like the tiniest little problems? Let's go. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members. Involuntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal.

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Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. I completely agree. Like when I let something annoy me that like really shouldn't annoy me in the grand scheme of things like I need to snap myself out of it and be like no like you're fine you're like you're happy you're healthy like why is that annoying you like why is that why are you letting that bothering you as much so completely agree basically got the same first one on our list there um second one I put I don't actually need a relationship to be truly

happy because I experienced my first proper relationship this year and it was something that I'd never really experienced before because before that I just had like situationships and just like talking stages and stuff and I definitely in my head thought one there's something wrong with me because why can't I get a relationship why Why haven't I had a boyfriend? And then two, I was like, oh, no, once I have a boyfriend, I'm going to be so happy. Like, that's it. That's all I want. And then as much as I enjoyed being in a relationship, and this is nothing on him at all, I realized that actually my happiness wasn't coming from needing to be in a relationship I needed to be happy in myself I needed all of that happiness before I could give that to somebody else and sacrificing like my relationship and letting someone go that I truly did love in order to work on myself was probably like one of the hard decisions I had to make but it was a decision that I had to make because I knew that if I was going to actually be happy and be able to be like truly comfortable in myself I needed to do that on my own and I've like I only really realized that that's like this year

and I think I'm still like working on that and just being on my own enjoying my own company and everything like that but yeah I've definitely realized that it's not the be all and the end all if I don't have someone like in a romantic way to share everything with like I finally realized I can be happy on my own I think it's hard as well because I think a lot of that comes from and we all do it like you know comparing ourself to other people online like you see everyone in these happy relationships and it just it makes you you know like I say back in the day, oh my God, my parents are going to hate me for that. But like when there wasn't social media, obviously I'm sure like, you know, we still would have wanted to have been in a relationship and

everything else because I honestly think like love is so cringe, but I actually think it's the best feeling in the world. But I think that back then you didn't have to compare yourself to people. Whereas like now you constantly see it. You see everyone's special happy moments. You're like, why don't I have a relationship? And so I think it's really easy to get caught up and think, oh, I'm only going to be happy if I have someone. Whereas actually, even if you have someone,

you need to be happy within yourself and love yourself first. Okay, so another thing I've learned this year, and I think I'm still learning this, but definitely the best year of me doing this, is learning that it's okay to say no. I think I used to say yes to like everything to make people happy. No, that was number four on my list. And I think I'm actually getting a lot better at that now. I think I was always scared to say no to people because I would always scared like, you know, how people would react if I said no, I didn't want to do something. And now I just don't really, like that sounds so harsh, I don't really care. But at the end of the day, the people that are going to be happy for you just want you to be happy. So if you want to say no to something, you shouldn't do it. No one should force you a hundred you I mean you know I was literally like the biggest yes person I could I that no word did not exist in my dictionary no like I was just I could not say no um I don't know why I just yeah I was such a people pleaser I was absolutely terrified of

hurting people and now like it doesn't I'm not like doing it to be like a bitch or whatever but like I care more about my own happiness now yeah like and if I don't it doesn't, I'm not, like, doing it to be, like, a bitch or whatever, but, like, I care more about my own happiness now. Yeah. Like, and if I don't want to do something, I'm simply just going to say no, and that's in no offence to the other person, because it's just not, it's just, like, yeah, I've just learnt the word no, and it's good to use the word no. Yeah, and it's funny, because, like, from an outsider, like, you'd see someone that, I think actually being able to say no is such, like, a powerful thing.

It really is. Like, being able to put yourself first, you know? It really is. And, yeah, it's one of the best things I've ever done in the last year. So I completely agree with you on that. The next one, I enjoy not going on my phone. Aww. Really, yeah, really enjoy putting my phone down this year

and just turning it upside down and live in the moment yeah love that love that okay another one i've got is it's not why this is really cute actually only because me and my friend were literally typing this yesterday to each other and i guess kind of similar to the first one but it's not what you have it's who you have so true that is so so true the people you surround yourself with yeah I literally have on my list as well we've basically got identical lists I've got friends and family or everything yeah that is because it's so to the people you surround yourself with are also what make you so happy and like you share your memories with and yeah

just friend and family or everything so you've got the same list again I've got another one I've got doing new things is actually really fun because I feel like I've tried a lot of new things yeah like I'm so stupid but I tried I went like pottery painting and stuff like that and I loved and I realized I was oh I actually love painting maybe I'd kind of like to take up that again like it was just I don't, like finding new hobbies and new little cute ways to spend your time. Oh, this is so similar because I had, I had don't be scared to try something new. And... Well, there you go. Yeah.

And I, I get really bad, like anxiety, like going to places by myself. And I don't know, even the thought of doing something new, like until this year, like really scared me. And I think after seeing like like although it doesn't really relate to each other but after like seeing all the health issues with my family and stuff I've kind of realized that life is so short that I thought like I don't know it just made me look differently on like trying new things I kind of just thought well like if it doesn't work out for me like really what have I got to lose like I've only got one life and so there's so many new things I've actually tried this year and I love um and so yeah I think that's definitely a huge thing for me this year so I think I was also just

like scared to try new things because I don't sound so stupid but I'd just be nervous to see like what people was going to think or like oh embarrassing myself or something like that and realistically like no one cares and if someone does comment on it like whatever like do you know what I mean yeah like i don't know yeah hunter trying new things is up there next year i want to try loads of new things as well don't know yeah but i'd love to try some more new things okay so my last one on the list this one was actually we also put a question box out and asked you guys we're going to read some of yours out but this was a lot of yours as well and it was men are still kind of shit which i

literally wrote that. And then I read everyone's and I was like, oh, wow, we're all in agreeance. But no, I just, it just made me laugh. I was like, yeah, I've still had my fair dealing of shitty times with men this year and fingers crossed next year. No, none of that is going to happen.

I'm going to have my faith in men restored that's my last one okay mine's a bit more I guess of a positive one okay but I actually wrote like slowing down is okay I feel like this year has been like everyone keeps saying to me like oh what have you got planned what have you got planned and it's kind of been like the first year where like didn't really happen like what have you got coming up and it's kind like the first year where like didn't really have like what have you got coming up and it's kind of the first year where like I haven't got loads of really exciting things coming up I'm just living life and just kind of taking each day as it comes but therefore I feel like I've been really hard on myself this year because of that um and I think yeah just towards the end

of the year I've realized slowing down is fine and like you know living life at my own pace is okay and you're not constantly gonna have things to look forward to and exciting things to come up and I think you know sometimes you need those times to appreciate all the really exciting things you have got coming up you know I could not agree more with everything you just said I think there's nothing wrong with some saffron yeah literally that should be on a pinterest quote that I was giving tumblr quote I yeah I couldn't agree more I feel like that's exactly what I this year I feel like I've worked so much and put a lot of pressure on myself to constantly be working and then feel guilty when

I'm not because I'm so used to doing it like if I if I'm just sat there and I know I could be doing this though or I could be doing that yeah and sometimes I just need to realize that actually like it's okay if I just want to have a day doing nothing or just slow down like you said just live in the moment and enjoy life yeah it's so important I feel like yeah this year maybe haven't done that as much so I'm excited to next year just kind of do that at my pace you you do you know what I still do you think you say yes to a lot which is good though like how do you manage it I'm like wow yeah I do say yes to a lot which maybe I I probably still will do that next year but I'm just also gonna also say like no

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we've got our well our 12 lessons that we. Now, should we read some out that we heard from you guys? Yeah. I got a lot of the boys are dickheads ones. Yes, I've got so many of them. Oh my God, I love this one though. This says to always trust your gut feeling. And that, my whole life, that has been a thing. It is so true.

So true. So fucking true. It's even like with the saying no thing. A lot of the time I say yes and my manager's like well you've just like debate whether to say yes for like 20 minutes and she's now like just do you want to just say no because i know you want to say no and you're gonna regret saying it because you do every time and i'm like yeah i need to just trust my gut feeling couldn't agree more got i got loads people have been like don't waste your energy on something that doesn't serve you is it helping or is it hurting i really like that wow i love that yeah and everything happens for a reason to trust the process and watch good things come your way

everyone's is giving tumblr quotes and i'm loving it everyone is on the same vibe this year i am getting so many like don't trust men yeah this one says you can't make everyone like you and I think that's really important actually I've never really been bothered about everyone liking me to be honest I think that's something I've always been okay with I've always known that but a lot of my friends I think I have I have some friends and the reason I'm saying this because they would say it as well like they were always so scared about being liked and it's and I used to look at them and think that must be so time consuming like people are never always gonna like us yeah and I think I've always known that but I think I've only grown to accept it and understand it because like especially in

our job I think it's it's always become second nature to us that no not everyone's gonna like you yeah like it's you're never gonna be able to please everybody like that it's physically impossible but I don't really care anymore unless it's someone that I actually care about yes if I was like if you, if randomly one day God forbid you didn't like me or like one of my other friends didn't like me, then I would care. But other than that, it's just a bit like, yeah. Yeah, like if they don't know you, then they don't know you.

So they know what you choose to show. Exactly. They're not seeing everything about you. So that's so true. I've got another one. Life doesn't end just because a man didn't choose you for like everybody going through a breakup vice is gonna appreciate that one always get through it life goes on and yet even though you're probably hurt now in six months

in a year it's not gonna feel like that and yeah life doesn't end And do you know what I think as well? I worry about, like, it's crazy. Like, I know in the past, you know, say like I had an argument with a boyfriend or something or like someone had upset me or like, I don't know. Or I don't know. This doesn't happen now. This isn't this year. But like a few years ago, if I was in a relationship

and, you know, I hadn't heard from my boyfriend, he was really busy all day and I was really upset because I thought he didn't love me anymore or anything like that. Now I look at it and I'm just like, if anything like that happened and I felt like that, I think the way to look at it is before you ever had them in your life, you was coping and you was living life. So you shouldn't let anyone affect, you know, your day to day. Like you just should. Like, I know it's so much easier said than done,

but you're going to be fine. You were fine before you met them. Like, what were you doing before you met them? You wasn't crying. Yeah, exactly. And we've all been there. Like I've lived my life waiting for somebody's response on my phone.

And let me tell you, it is not a way to live. I was so unhappy I literally felt the worst I'd ever felt and life goes on like I was like whether that person replied to my text or not whether I have that person I was still going to be living that day yeah so it's I I just yeah do you know what I mean it's just I'm trying to think of a way to word it but just it's gonna happen anyway so you might as well enjoy every moment yeah and just like I think it is just putting yourself first and realizing that yeah you know you coped before you met this person so you shouldn't let someone affect

affect you so much but of course it is so much easier said than done right so especially when you're in that moment it is so like someone says it to you and you're literally like leave me alone yeah like you're not gonna be listening to anyone's like really nicely worded advice i've got another one treat people how they treat you wow yeah love that one yeah it's so true and i feel like that goes for respect effort kind of everything in life i really like that one yeah completely wow i feel like this has been such a nice like wholesome episode for like i'm leaving very positive and like girl boss vibes i think if i need to pick me up if I ever listen back to this

yeah I'm gonna listen back to this and listen to all the quotes and the things I was telling myself and be like Anastasia listen to yourself and take your own advice yeah because we're all so bad at taking our own advice let's be honest we can dish it but like are we listening to it but I'm actually gonna make a conscious effort to listen to everything that I've said in this episode a hundred percent well thank you all so much for listening and for all the support on the podcast as well since we have come back yeah like this is such a nice way to wrap up 2023 as a whole I think 100 here's to 2024 god knows what it's going to bring because honestly if like if january 2023 me no other way around if january 20 no yeah yeah if january saw december me now i think i would

be gobsmacked with everything that's happened in this year yeah and almost wouldn't believe it so like that makes me very excited for 2024 i'm excited to see what the podcast brings, what our lives bring, what our dating lives bring. I'm excited to... Exciting. I know. It's so exciting. So I hope everyone has a lovely new year. Thank you so much.

Can't believe this is the last episode of the year and we shall see you on the 9th. Bye, everyone. Bye.