Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 45. dating & desirability

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

In this week’s episode we chat about all the little secrets we do in order to feel more confident/ desirable when going to a night out on the town. From positive pep talks, to what perfume our outfits we’d deffo wear to make us feel our best, and body language to give the boys a hint to strike a convo. And remember ladies, the most important thing is you want to make yourself feed good and being desirable for YOURSELF. Self love is sexy and it’s alll about the female gaze, no male gaze over here! Plus Ana spills the tea on if she’s going on a second date with the January boy… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's go. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to Sex Lives and DMs Lives with me, Anastasia Kingsnorth. And me, Safran Barker. So this is the podcast where we deep dive on all things sex, dating, relationships, and we uncover all of the drama that is found in our DMs. So of all happy tuesday happy tuesday oh my god we're back doing this again what have you been doing what have you been doing this weekend um i have oh i've actually just got back from a really nice romantic getaway with my boyfriend actually it was really cute we went to soho farmhouse which was so nice. I am so jealous.

I've still not been to Soho Farmhouse. It's honestly amazing. It's meant to be the most amazing place ever. Yeah. What do you do there, though? So this is the thing, right? It's amazing.

But I was thinking this. If I was there for days, I don't really know. Like, if you have, like, work to do in between, I feel like it's the best place to ever, like, chill out. But, like,

as far as doing stuff, obviously there's a spa, which is really nice. But the one thing, and and i actually need to i want to put my complaint into farmhouse because the one thing that puts me off is the pool is never hot enough like i could spend all day in the pool whereas like any other spot i could literally spend all day in the pool but it's not that warm and it's outside oh it's an outdoor well it goes indoor and outdoor but it's obviously they're like it's connected it's one pool but if it's outdoors like that should be not a boiling but yeah you think it'd be like hot tub in yeah in this weather especially

it's like freezing outside yeah so if the water was more warm which sounds ridiculous you would actually spend more time in the spa. But there's a spa, you can pay to get massages done. There's like this, it's called, I don't know if it's called the Lazy Lake or something like that. But basically they have these like outdoor hot tubs

and they give you like mud face masks as those are saunas. It's so cute. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it's really cute and romantic, although they were sold out so me and lewis couldn't do that but but we did use the spa and you can go for dinner there's loads of restaurants there's i bet the food is so nice oh the food was i had the best arancini balls of my

life they were just really chef's kiss yeah wow oh. But yeah, no, I did that over the weekend. And obviously I've been participating in 75 Hard and it's going so well. Oh my God, I was literally going to ask you, how is it going? What day are you on now? I'm on day 10 currently. But it's crazy how much it's like already changing my lifestyle.

Like me and Lewis got back from dinner and then obviously him being a boy sat watching Manu play. Like, me and Lewis got back from dinner, and then obviously, him being a boy, sat watching Man U play. Like, it's his team, so he can't miss. Can't miss watching Man U play, God forbid. Boys and their football. I know. So we get back from dinner at, like, half eight.

He gets into bed, and I still have my 45-minute walk. So at half past eight, in the freezing cold, I'm walking around the spa in circles oh my just doing my circles yeah stop it but the thing is i bet you feel like now like if you didn't do it would you feel weird because you're getting into the routine of doing it or you're not at that stage yet i don't know if i'm at the stage where I think it's weird. Yeah, because honestly, I normally leave the walk to the end of the day and then it's so much effort. But I feel so much better for doing it.

Like, even when I got back. Because, you know, like, when you go out for a big dinner, after you just feel so full and sluggish and you get straight into bed. Yeah, I just want to lay in bed. I'm not going for a walk. No, and no part of me wanted to and it was so cold. But after, I just have so much more energy. Like, I actually am loving doing an evening walk I don't know if I'm getting old but I thoroughly enjoy it

that is adulting at 23 we're like I love an evening walk I love an evening walk and it's all 75 hard so well you've only got so good you're 65 days left I believe in you you've got this you could do it what I'm so excited to be sober though like days left. I believe in you. You've got this. You can do it. Do you know what? I'm so excited to be sober, though. Oh, my God. I keep forgetting. I'm just going to stay sober.

Maybe. Even through summer? No, probably not. Actually, let's take that back. Let's go. The all-new FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino is bringing you more action than ever. Want more ways to follow your faves? Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications.

Or how about more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee. Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides.

Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Let's go. It's not going to happen. But if you can do it for 75 days, that is really good.

Yeah. I will. I will do it. I definitely will do it for 75 days. I think it is so much easier that my boyfriend's gone sober. So because of that, it's so much easier. When people are drinking around you, it almost makes you want to have a drink as well so like i the fact that lewis has also gone so makes it so much easier because i said i was going to do dry jam we're like what however many days in and that

has absolutely not happened has it not no i've not been like drunk but like because when you went to disney because you went to disneyland didn't you oh yeah i went to disney did you drink at disneyland we only had we had one drink on one of the nights because he went to like you know the little disney village bit where there's some bars but like we'd been in the park from literally like 9 a.m until 10 p.m so we were all absolutely knackered so i was like not in the mood to go out and get drunk but had a little drink in the um oh what's it i can't remember what it was called now but it was like the Texas themed bar it was giving like cowboy sort of vibes yeah it's giving Nashville it was giving Nashville vibes um so I had a little drink in there but then yeah I've

literally drank like four nights out of the year so far so dry jam has turned into damp jam well yeah you're also dating and I feel like dating does bring drinking yeah I did have my second date as well and how did it go it has gone really well we've got a third this weekend no has it actually oh my god so happy wait what the hell is if it's like the first few weeks of Jan and you're on your third date yeah I don't know how this happened and to be honest I actually didn't know if I was going to be able to make the second date because I had food poisoning which was the worst thing I've ever had in my life I've somehow escaped it for 23 years of my life like I've never had it before so I just had no idea how bad it actually was yeah um but I got

it on the way back from Disney I've got no idea what I got it from but I was what was you just being sick oh no both ends being sick both ends same time um I don't know how I didn't wake anybody up like in the morning when someone woke up I went have you not heard me all night oh wait this was at Disney yeah this was like the second so we stayed two nights, but we were leaving the third morning. So this was the second night. And I literally just went, have you not heard me the whole night? And I went, no. I was like, I've not been to bed.

I said, I've been in the toilet. I've literally been in the toilet up, down, up, down, up, down. Oh my God. Imagine like it didn't hit you till you got home and like you'd gone on a date and that had happened. If that had happened to me on a date I I actually do not know what I would have done the thing is he's so nice that like I feel like he would have obviously I know anybody would help someone in that situation but like

to just meet someone and then sorry one second babe I'm just gonna go shit and be sick at the same time if the question question question if that happened to you and you was out on a dinner date and you was like that in the toilet would you just leave what would you actually do if this is what if this is like as fresh as the dates are that I'm going on right now yeah right this is okay this is your third date that you're going on and all of a sudden you're like shit literally like and it's coming out on both ends and you feel unwell and you're in the restaurant toilets what would you actually do right i think first of all i'd i would text him and say that the queue's really long for the toilet that's why i'm taking so long to get to buy myself to buy

myself a little bit more time on the toilet just to see how it's gonna play out you know i mean just to see if it's like a one-off fluke is this going to stop in five minutes or am I actually going to be here all night if I was then going to be there all night I'd be so embarrassed like I think I'd have to tell him but I wouldn't have to I wouldn't be able to see him again and if I did see him again then he's real one yeah because if someone said that to me I feel like you're quite open I feel like you would just tell him like I feel like that is something you would just be like fuck it and just tell him yeah thing is once I'm comfortable with someone like I have no boundaries like there's there's nothing which is probably a bad thing in some cases but like I will just be so honest about

stuff like that but if it was coming from one end, I can deal with it. But both ends and admitting that is a bit like, oh, that's a bit icky. Oh, that would be so bad in a restaurant. Imagine. That reminds me. Never. This is like kind of a change of topic, but it's still about going to the toilet. I think I told you this before.

So forever ago when I was seeing this guy, I remember we'd been seeing each other for quite a while, but it was the first night I stayed with him and we was in a hotel room. It was in a different country. And the hotel room was really small, like really small to the point where like, when I'm telling you, the toilet was next to the bed like that's

how close it was and I remember I needed a toilet so bad right yeah like paper thin right and like I'd been seeing him for like a bit obviously because I got to the stage where I was like going to stay with him but it was still the first time I was going to stay with him okay obviously I'm not on the level where i want him to hear me go to the toilet like at all and i remember thinking oh my god i need a toilet so bad and i'm not talking like i don't mean like i this is so tmi i don't mean like i had diarrhea i just literally need the toilet yeah yeah you know it was a number two you just gotta go thinking, like, what am I actually going to do? Like, I need it so badly. And the bed is next to the bathroom door.

So I say to him, I thought, you know what? There has to be a toilet down in the lobby. So do you know what? I'm probably telling you this story. I think it's something about water, getting water. So I said to him, I was like, I'm going to go get some water. Because basically this hotel room, it also had like a kitchen kitchen but it was all just very everything was so this little studio was got everything yeah and it was tiny it was like literally it had everything but it was tiny

and he was like why don't you just put it up on the tap and i was like oh no i'm gonna go get some bottle water who do i think i am i would never go get bottle water if there's tap water i'm just drinking tap water anyway so i'm like I'm gonna go get some bottled water because it'd be cold he's like okay so I go downstairs to the lobby and I'm like oh my god where's the toilet where's the toilet there was no toilet so I go to the front desk I'm like please can I use the toilet like I'm staying here I basically had to tell them the situation. They let me use the staff toilets. So I went to the toilets, went all the way back upstairs. I had no water in my hand.

Then I thought, fuck, I've got no water. So I had to go back down, go out of the thing, go to a shop, come back with the water. And the problem is the water wasn't even cold. And he was like, the water's literally the same like why did you spend that long going to get water when it's literally it's warm it's the fact that do you actually say to the hotel staff i'm staying with a guy and i don't want him to hear me go to the toilet yeah no no i genuinely had him hard to say that and were they obviously

they let you use the toilet but what did what was their reaction when you said that they were were they just like yeah of course to be honest I think they just saw how much I was panicked like I can't fully remember but I remember them just being like you know they're so it was in America and I remember like it was a woman it was a woman thankfully and she was like oh no like what what are you like? I just can't remember. Girls get it. Yeah. So it was fine. But I just remember thinking this is just such an awful situation. Babe, when you've got to go, you've got to go.

I know. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just. And it's normal. But, like, no one wants to hear someone else go to the toilet. It's so normal. But that stage or getting to that stage stresses me out because I'm nowhere near that stage.

But like when I have to go to the toilet in the same, would you call it like vicinity as my partner? Yeah, it's a very nerve wracking experience. Yeah. So I always actually wonder that, like me and my friends have had this conversation loads. In an actual relationship, if you don't do, I feel like just going to the toilet in general,

like with them being in the same like facility, if you don't do that from the beginning, I feel like you will never do that in your relationship. Really? What do you think you need to start off early? Yeah, I do. I actually really do think that. Like me and my friends have had this conversation so my best friend she was with her ex for so many years right yeah and like they would never go to the

toilet like one of them wouldn't be sitting in the bedroom whilst the other's in the toilet like that just wouldn't be a thing like she would either like go downstairs to the toilet or like even he would do the same thing but like, like, her boyfriend she's with now, straight away, like, since they started seeing each other, just, like, went to the toilet of her being around. So she then started doing that. And it's funny because, like, in the relationship I'm in, exactly the same thing.

Like, because my boyfriend was so comfortable from, like, the beginning and, like, straight away did that, we're both just so comfortable to do that. Whereas, like, if he didn't do that until like months down the line I would feel like I could never do that if that makes sense yeah because you've almost left it too long that like now you've built up the sort of like oh my god going to toilet in front of them to like you've you've just left it too long to do it yeah all right then well maybe I'll take your advice. Third day, I'll say, babe, if you want to sit there, you can. Like, it's fine.

If you want to come to the toilet with me. If you want to sit on my knee, it is quite comfy. Imagine him sat holding your arm while she went to the toilet. Ew! Oh, no, that would give me the ick. That would give me the ick so bad. Maybe that's a couple of months down the line okay i think but anyway we've literally spoken about going to the toilet for like 10 minutes second date went really well good what did you do um we did an activity date which i

know you love i love an activity i don't even know oh no of course i've done an activity today with my boyfriend yeah go on then what did you do we so basically so i like organized this one because he organized the first one and he loves like this particular tv show so i basically found an escape room themed like with this tv show that i found um and it was so fun I felt like an escape room was a good thing doctor who oh which I had never thought I'd be able to find a doctor I've never seen doctor who I've seen it but a really really long time ago when like David Tennant was like the doctor so this was like 11 um but it was so fun although I can't tell whether this was really stupid of me to do or really like

logical thinking so I want to know if you'd do it as well there was basically like this head that you had that we found that you had to put on this like little metal rod that it started speaking to us and it said I'm cold right so like the head said I'm cold so I thought oh like it needs warming up then and there was a scarf on the wall so I wrapped the scarf around the head thinking to myself like that's logical right wait so hang on is this an this is an escape room no this is in the escape room right so it was an escape room right okay and the head said that it's cold so like there's a scarf hanging on the wall behind it, right? A very long, obvious scarf.

Yeah. So I was like. I did the same thing. I was like, smashed it, put the scarf around it. The fucking guy who's obviously watching us, because you know they have like someone who's going to give you clues and stuff if you need help. Right.

He absolutely just annihilates me. He just goes, I don't think an animal object can get cold. And I just looked up and I was like, did he just say thatates me he just goes i don't think an animal object can get cold and i looked up and i was like did he just say that to me maybe that's just like they said to everyone though no no no babe it wasn't like you could tell he was like actually trying to like i can't i can't say what but i was like oh my god you've actually embarrassed me like it doesn't sound that embarrassing it was so like that was logical and then anyway we didn't manage to escape it was actually very very very hard normally I'm quite good at escape rooms but

maybe it's because it was the first time that we've done that together so yeah like good teamwork we nearly got out and so doing an activity date did you find it awkward more awkward less awkward honestly like probably less awkward because I feel like there was less pressure to have like conversation a really long deep because on the second date like you've already you know quite a bit about them like surface level stuff so like on a second date you need to open up a little bit more I know like the deeper stuff but that like took the edge off it a little bit because we had a drink whilst we were doing it then we went for drinks after but it was really nice and then yeah this weekend we're doing like this is it was really nice and then yeah this weekend we're

doing like this is it actually with today I don't really know we're going to the lake district and we're just gonna spend the day in the lake district yeah he's got a dog so we're gonna take his dog um does he live by himself no he lives with his family it's his family dog as well um but we're yeah we're gonna take his dog for a walk and like go for a nice walk around the lake district I've never really walked around that area before so i'm excited to well oh that's gonna be so yeah it's good because all your dates i feel like have been so different very very different which is really nice and we're gonna be cold together because we're going outside oh my god the amount of dms by the way the amount of you that DMed me.

The fact that I didn't even mention it, right? So I put on my story when I went to Farmhouse this weekend. I put on my story literally almost like it wasn't a boomerang because I feel like we're not doing boomerangs anymore. Boomerang. I've not seen someone do a boomerang for years. No, I haven't either but me and my boyfriend cheers in our hot chocolate my dms are flooded with oh you two can be cold together

oh look at you two cold together and it's funny because when i first saw the first one i was like what the fuck are they on about and then did you click they started flooding in and i thought oh my god oh my god i wish i've replied that to your story i wish i saw it and thought oh they're warming up well i was waiting for you because obviously i shared it to my story i was waiting for you to piss yourself i know because then you leave yeah because then you messaged me you were like have you not seen that we're cold together i was like what i was like what are you up about and context guys not that i want to remind everyone that I

said this but if you haven't like been listening to our podcast for long I said an episode a while back at like Christmas time oh it's so cute because you know you and your boyfriend you could be cold together like who says that anyways I'm gonna get rinse for that for the rest of my life I think anyway that's all right I'm gonna be cold with said guy this weekend I'm going to get rinsed for that for the rest of my life, I think. Anyway, that's all right. I'm going to be cold with said guy this weekend. I'm going to wrap up. I'm going to wear a big warm coat. Oh my God. Actual goals.

You're going to be cold together. Actual goals. You know, I've never done an outside date. I've never been cold with someone before. This is like, this is crazy. Just wait for the update, guys. I'm going to let you know if i enjoy it oh that's so funny but anyway your date in life is apparently going well for 2024 so far touch wood let's hope

it carries on in the right direction i did not think like two episodes into the new year i'd be like yeah guys i'm going on date three, so... No, neither. Let's go. It's a new day. How can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long-awaited vacation. You can earn points almost anywhere and they never expire.

Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. Upper Canada College inspires boys from senior kindergarten to year 12 to find their passions and realize their potential. An IB World School, UCC offers a supportive environment, cutting-edge facilities, and a best-in-Canada financial assistance program. UCC, a place where tradition, excellence, and innovation meet.

Learn more at our open house events on October 15th and 16th. Register now at causeandeffect.ucc.on.ca. Let's go. And has he listened to the podcast? So this is actually... No, because he actually... He does not have a clue about anything to do with social media, really. He has no idea about any of it which i actually really like like explaining my job to him i can just see he's

looking at me like i literally have no idea what you're talking about like he knows the thing is he could be saying this but actually secretly no but i actually know he doesn't because obviously he's one of my friends boyfriend's best friends and I've got confirmation that like he is clueless. I've got confirmation. I've got confirmation. I can back up my facts. But yeah, no, he's clueless. So hopefully, well, I kind of said to him,

I was like, please don't listen to the podcast. Because I don't, do you know what I mean? Like, I don't want him to hear me say talk about it just yet in a couple of days time if it's still going well then yeah knock yourself out put it on repeat do you know what I mean but right now so do you not like if he's not like big on social media do you not like send each other memes and stuff on like or like send each other videos and stuff on Instagram do you not really do each other memes and stuff on like or like send each other videos and stuff on instagram do you not really do that well we only got each other's number after the second day

we rest you on instagram dm before that and like no really okay well i think i'm very zero to 100 person though so that's just like i would do no i feel like we'd get into that stage now where i could it would be like if i did do that it wouldn't be like abnormal but he doesn't have TikTok he doesn't use TikTok so I won't be sending TikToks that's good though I'm making him sound 60 he's actually not but like I will I will start to send him reels I think that's really nice I think that's what you need you gotta know he's genuine then a hundred percent like he has no photos on Instagram and no posts like his profile, like him when he was very younger. It's just, it's looking like a win situation for me here, guys. But I don't want to jinx it because every time I say that,

I feel like I always jinx it. So updates to come. Updates to come. What a start to 2024. I know, for real. Like really did not expect this start but very very happy so for the main topic in this episode we thought we would talk about desirability and like specifically maybe like being desirable which we so are with all our toilet talk

we have set the tone perfectly who would not want want to date us? We have sold ourselves in this episode. So we're going to talk about like desirability on a night out because I feel like, I mean, I'm still single. But when I was like last year, when I'd go out in my Hot Girl Summer era, I definitely would go out with the aim of trying to slightly be desirable um okay so the first one okay so on a night out then would you like let's say this is before you go out would you give yourself some like positive pep talk like some positive affirmations some positive manifestation

like this is the night yeah of course I feel like I always used to do that I'm saying always because I haven't been I'm really on a night out this year yeah I feel like yeah I absolutely do that but I don't actually feel right I very much like believe in like what you put out you get back blah blah so I feel like that's always why I'd be like tonight I'm gonna be the love of my life or oh my god I just had this feeling but yeah I feel like you know the whole like when you're not expecting it it comes I actually more believe well I don't more believe in it but I feel like I would give myself so much pep talk and then I'd be disappointed me too I always felt like it was the nights where I said like I'm gonna meet someone tonight that I wouldn't meet anybody yeah and I wouldn't speak to anybody so yeah maybe going into the night with like like still having positive self

talk like yeah I look hot tonight blah blah but like I wouldn't sit there and say that I'm gonna meet the love of my life tonight because really that's not gonna happen yeah I feel like the nights where you think you look really hot but you're not worried about other people think of you it's normally when you're more attractive as well when you're actually just enjoying yourself with your friends and not thinking like oh I need to pull tonight or what do these guys think of me like I just feel like you just look more attractive and that's also just why they're normally the nights where you actually end up meeting people me too and I feel like when i go out with the mindset of like i'm going to meet someone tonight like i always just end up disappointed because i'll set

that as like the goal for the night and that is not a good goal to have for the night and it means that you're not even enjoying yourself with your friends exactly because your mind's going to be so preoccupied of thinking like oh he's cute like does he find me attractive like I like I want to pull tonight like just don't go out with that necessary like mindset no exactly and it's also like say you say you saw like a group of guys that you thought were really attractive um and they weren't looking at you and they were just having a good time you're gonna want that person more like that's just the way it is whereas like if they're looking at you and like just like looking around avoid what other people think and not enjoying themselves that's not as attractive which is why I just also feel like actually just living life for yourself rather than thinking like oh I'm gonna pour tonight

you're way more likely to actually pour just enjoying yourself agreed i think you look more desirable yeah 100 like i'd rather like i would rather go for someone who's having fun with their group of friends like look like they're enjoying themselves than rather than someone just standing there like looking around for like someone they can pull someone they can kiss yeah i just think you look more desirable just enjoy yourself and have fun with the girlies outfit wise what are we gonna wear on a night out to make ourself feel and look desirable i feel like now i go for a corset every time me i'm so boring corset and trousers yeah i feel like i'm very similar like i really do think i'm similar oh i do love a two-piece though or nice little cold moment but the thing is like and maybe this is me being an adult now but I think to myself like cold so cold I'll be so cold in that and do you know I

was also thinking I was just about to say oh like if I was single what would I wear but you know what I actually wouldn't wear anything being single and being in a relationship like I wouldn't wear anything different I wear the same things I just wear what i think i look nice so yeah i guess i'm a very big boot girl i love a boot actually yeah you you always wear a boot i will give that to you and or a heel you're all you're always in a boot or a heel never in trainers it's just never never never this is this is not this is why we attract each other so well i wear trainers saf wear heels yes i'm not a heel girl but you are and say for you but this is why we attract each other so well. I wear trainers, Saf wear heels. Because I'm not a heel girl, but you are.

And slave for you. But this is why I love a boot though. Because I feel like a boot is sexy. But it doesn't look like you've tried as hard as wearing a heel. There's something about like boots can easily be dressed down, but they're still like sexy. Whereas a heel, I feel like a heel and a mini skirt, you've tried really hard. Whereas if I feel like a heel and a mini skirt can like you've tried really hard whereas if you just change the heel to a boot I think you look a lot cooler agreed

and I also just feel like when you're wearing like a little heel on a boot or something you just walk better and you just feel more confident yeah like when I'm walking in trainers I feel like I'm just kind of like dragging my feet around I'm just like oh but when I'm in heels I do also like I just do feel more dressy and better in myself i'm just such a adult now thinking i'm gonna get cold my feet are gonna hurt don't take a coat like what like when i was 18 i was not having these thoughts but like now i'm just thinking way too practical but a boot a boot is comfy i feel like a boot is the best thing you can wear on a night out yeah and i feel like you've got a really nice boot collection so if i ever need to borrow some boots they actually are that

i need to find somewhere to buy nice boots because all of my boots are boot oh my god when i was in new york did you see that i put it on my instagram did you see that when my heel snapped when it came off yeah i saw guys i was in a club and my whole heel from the boot snapped how did you just carry on the night like what what did you do yeah i carried all night with one with one broken boot honestly did that not kill your feet walking around with like without the heel on the boot yes so in the end i'm just holding i'm holding the heel and i'm holding the boot and i'm just in bare feet so So attractive. I'm in bare feet. No, but you know what?

I'm not ashamed to admit that I am that girl that if my feet are killing my shoes, I'm coming off at the end of the night. And I will walk home barefoot. Sorry, I know some people find it gross. And some boys are like, ew, that's such an ick. But I'm like,

you try and walk in heels then for the full night. No, that's always the case for me. And the thing is you know this as well i wear the highest high heels i wear minimum seven inch heels because how short i am and all of a sudden two hours in everyone's like where the where the fuck's that from going because i'm literally like a good seven inches shorter yeah and it's looking down at me it's so funny because we'll get ready for a night out and staff will be like i'm only wearing small heels tonight and i'm going yeah i'll do small heels

so i get my actual small heels out like when i say they're small they're like a centimeter like off the ground and then staff's like oh yeah i've only got my small ones and they're literally like this big and i'm like how like i literally can't even step five feet in those heels so props to you for lasting a full night in them because I don't know how you do it well I don't I don't do I always take my shoes off well yeah that's true always but I need to just have a habit of like bringing like little slippers or you can get those like um ballet flats that like roll up can't you you can get like roll up shoes now that like everyone packs my

mum packs them in her bag now that is smart yeah they roll and then you just unroll them and i feel like i need to start taking them because i know that i'm going to be in bare feet by the end of the night that is looking like my next amazon purchase i reckon you can get like a nice little 10 pack or something you can chuck them away when you get indoor yeah that is what i need because i don't even think my boyfriend's finding it attractive when i got my bare feet out and i know he loves me whenever but i think sometimes he does look at me thinking oh god really yeah but he'll he'll love you even more in your little ballet flats he's gonna love me in my ballet your little ballet pump show i mean i'm gonna order some of those that is such a good idea i know i've never thought about that before well you've just saved me now i'm gonna

start to wear heels on a night out and then put my little ballet pumps on i love that okay what about like a scent for a night out then do you have like a specific do you wear like a different perfume on a night out to what you would wear in the day no i feel like my like sense that i love ouds and i have very strong like oudy smells and to be honest you do i just like what i like and i feel like they probably are more like evening scents but i just wear them constantly although what i find so irritating is every person right if there's one like you know thing i'm gonna say i'm very proud of is i constantly get told that i smell nice yeah my boyfriend hates my perfumes yeah you said that to me he doesn't like them i wonder why because your perfume smelled like insane like you smell expensive that's the way i can

i've devoted years to get expensive nice perfumes it's like my scent that smells unreal. And he comes along and just like a single one of them. Well, babe, I love them. You smell amazing. Thank you. I can't wear that around him now because he literally can't stand my perfumes. So when he was in Dubai, he bought me this perfume. It's literally on the side over there. He bought me this perfume and he loves it and he wants me to wear it but i don't like it oh no so we

literally have complete opposite scents what sort of scent is it that he's so it's still oud it's still an oud but it reminds me of like a victoria secrets like it's very like really sweet and i think i don't really like like really sweet. Yeah, you never wear. I feel like dark, sexy sort of sense. Whereas I think he would like me to wear like pumpkin latte caramel syrup. Pumpkin latte. Do you know what I mean? He's like, it's still oud.

What are you on about? It doesn't smell like oud. Okay. No, your smell is like very specific and I love it. We're talking about penthaligans like very sexy yeah yes yeah i would i would love like a nighttime perfume because i see loads of people on tiktok like do their like perfume tours which i'm really getting into recently which is maybe a bit strange but like i've never really paid that much like attention to buying more than one perfume i just

wear baccarat rouge all the time but I really want to get like a nice like sexy evening sort of scent so that's pending for yeah because I love Baccarat Rouge but I do feel like it's more of a daytime scent it's definitely a daytime scent I feel like a nighttime scent needs to be a bit like just muskier maybe and a bit like yeah I'm just sexier than Baccarat Rouge yeah and i think it's nice to have like i think it's nice for everyone to be like oh you like say i wore background to be like you smell like anna like i think it's nice for everyone to have their own scent but i think you can definitely have more than one scent i think you can have like three scents a hundred because you know what i've had

people before say to me like boys that i've spoken to been like when i'm not speaking to somebody more than they've messaged me a couple months after say to me oh I smelled someone and it reminded me of you yeah and I was like yeah you can't escape me like because the thing is I feel like I'm like blind to the smell now I can't smell it on myself I think because I'm so used to it so when someone says that I'm like oh okay that's nice like I'm glad i'm not wasting 400 pounds and you can still smell it because i can't smell it anymore yeah no i do think you do just come like you do just get used to your scent a hundred percent okay so when you're in a bar then let's move on from like what we're looking like what we're smelling like where are we going to position ourself to get the best view for the night out i'm in my head

i'm picturing one particular bar and i'm picturing albert's lost just because i know that we've both been there we know that it's always at the bar we're always at the bar i mean especially when i was single like now not i probably actually wouldn't really be like i like being at the bar because i feel like it's just a good vibe but when I was single I was definitely at the bar I feel like it's the peak place to like speak to someone to easily have a conversation I wouldn't go to a corner whereas now I'm in a relationship I'd probably just be in the corner of my friends not near the bar yeah like if I was in a relationship in like and I was in Albert's house for example I'd be like up on probably on the tables dancing with my friends I don't think I'd be like up on, probably on the tables,

dancing with my friends. I don't think I'd necessarily like stand by the bar all night. Whereas like last year when we go to Albert's house, we would just stand by the bar. I don't know why. It's just easier to get drinks and shots because that's my fucking downfall on a night out. I'm buying everyone 15,000 shots. But I feel like the bar was like,

if you're single and you're looking for that sort of like night being at the bar is like always your best bet yeah definitely people are going to be coming up and down from it so you can see yeah and I feel like people come over and like what's your drink of choice I feel like it's just easier to start a conversation with someone I always feel like actually the majority of times that I've been speaking to someone in a bar it's always because I've been stood at the bar yeah a hundred percent like and they've all and then they'll be like do you want a drink and I'm like uh might as well like I'm not gonna say no whereas I feel like no one's gonna come over to a corner if you're like in the corner of a group of friends

no one's gonna come over and be like oh excuse me do you want a drink whereas if you're at the bar someone's gonna say that so I think if you're single you should be at the bar, someone's going to say that. So I think if you're single, you should be at the bar. A hundred percent by the bar. Or maybe I would say by the door, but then also probably not by the door. No, it's too cold. I'm sorry. I don't care if I'm pulling or not. I'm not signing by the door.

Guys, you can't get cold. You can't get ill. Never mind. Stay at the bar. Let's go. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves.

Zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members. Involuntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal,

the deal on a new blender squeal, or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this Prime big deal days october 8th and 9th let's go okay so then now we're out the bubble how are we showing someone that we're single so now we've got to talk body language so are you giving them the eye are you going to look very like open with your body language because i actually have looked into body language quite a bit right and i was who the fuck was i speaking

to i would love to speak to like a body language expert so would i i'd actually love to get one on here yes because i thought that'd be so fun okay let's try and make this happen let's try and get a body language expert on here because there's so much into it. Like I know it sounds silly, but like I was speaking to someone last year and they actually, a part of their degree was body language. Wow. Okay. And they were saying to me,

he's literally just my friend, but he was saying to me when we went out that like he can read somebody by how they're sat. So if they're like sat with like, kind of like their legs not like open i'm not like spread but like not crossed and like they're it's very relaxed like they're almost like welcoming you into their space and they're not like closed off so like if you're standing at the bar and you're speaking to someone you're sitting down their legs aren't like crossed

not for because i always cross my legs though so i feel like that's a little bit hard that's just my comfy but for like a guy like if he sat there he's kind of got his legs kind of like in it like an open stance sort of way then he's like with his legs spread yeah when i say open i feel like everyone's picturing like open like i don't mean that but like i just mean like i can picture it in my head but i can't i'm not displaying this very well but do you know what I mean yeah and the whole like body language vibe what about standing up because I feel like you're normally standing up so well maybe about like I think I'm good at reading people's like eye contact I feel like it's such an obvious thing but yeah body language I wouldn't really I don't know I'd like to think

I'm good at it but I'd probably I'd love someone to read my body language and like me tell me I know I'm good at eye contact and that's about it I know I'm good at eye contact but the body language I think I could be better yeah the rest of my body language I'm crossing my legs all the time so like whether like whether that means I'm closed off I'm not too sure but like actually no I'm I always get told I either cross my legs or i sit like a man and then sometimes i yeah and i do actually catch myself sometimes sitting like a man like proper like leg spread hunched over and i'm like why the fuck am i doing that but i've caught myself in the background maybe that's just you just being comfortable and that's just how you sit maybe but it's not cute

babe because i've seen myself in the background of some people's vlogs and i think oh my god why am i sat like that like 2024 is about getting posture lessons let me tell you like I need to learn to sit up straight I'm kind of hunching my butt right now so am I like I'm so bad with my posture now and when I'm at the bar saying about eye contact as well I was like I actually since we've been doing this podcast I think about it so much more. And I realize when I think now, like if I'm having a conversation, like even with my boyfriend, like when I'm telling him something,

I look down to think and then I, like I'm still talking and I look down to think and then I look back up. But then if I'm just staring at someone, I just think, does it look like I'm staring into their soul? Yeah, I don't think. I think I overthink it since I've been doing this podcast yeah because we've had so many discussions about things that like I've never thought about before so I do understand what you mean I know you

overthink it but like I I and sounds really weird but I enjoy like if I'm flirting with a boy really staring into his soul to make him feel uncomfortable really I think I think it's funny like because sometimes then they'll always be like god like your eye contact's really good like you're really staring at me and I'm like yeah it makes you know like it tries to make a bit nervous that's what I always find so like eye contact is definitely a good yeah a good like flirting tool if you're trying to let someone know that I feel like I'm good at eye contact across the room I don't know I think I don't know maybe I'm just overthinking it more I mean I'm not really trying it out now because I'm in a relationship my boyfriend I feel like I can't not to cross the room. I don't know. I think, I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking it more. I mean, I'm not really trying it out now because I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend.

I feel like I don't need to stare into his soul. Yeah, you don't need to. But it's funny because you know something? I get, I've been told so many times, like even from friends, like my friends have mentioned this to me. And the amount of times my friends have said to me, why are you staring at my lips for?

Yeah, you do. And I've never once done that. You do. I've never done that. I don't stare at people's lips. I'm looking at them. I've never said it to you. Yeah, I've never said it to you, but you do do it.

But I'm not, though. I'm not looking at your lips. That's what I don't understand. But I promise you, it looks so much like you are. And I just think, babe, if you want to kiss me, just kiss me. But like... How do I change that then? Like, I hate that.

I don't know. Because I'm not looking... But maybe, maybe because I actually am obviously a bit hard of hearing. Maybe I actually read people's lips more than I think. So maybe I am subconsciously looking at their lips and I'm reading. Yeah, you don't realise you're doing it. Maybe that's what it is. Like, I've never once thought, look at their lips and i'm reading like yeah you don't realize you're doing it maybe that's what it is like i've never once thought look at their lips ever in my life so what do you think look up when i'm talking to you i think what is she looking at like i've

thought of this before like what is she looking at okay you're gonna have to tell me like when i'm with you next time if i do it then okay i know but if i tell you every time then we might think oh god you're doing it a lot but like i think because i'm used to you doing it now i don't like look out for it anymore but i'm purposely looking at your lips yeah i have thought it several times before but i just look like but i've always known you to do it so like i know you're not like i know it's not just like a one-off thing so like i'm not looking at your lips this is the mad thing but maybe you're right maybe it's because you like a one-off thing. But I'm not looking at your lips. This is the mad thing. But maybe you're right. Maybe it's because you can't hear as well.

So like you're subconsciously trying to read what someone's saying whilst listening. Yeah, it must be that. But like when you look at me then, do you look down my eyes? When you're having a normal conversation, are you looking at my eyes? Because if I just look at someone's eyes, I'm not looking at anything else

and I just think it looks really strange. No, but like, then I'll sometimes overthink it and I'll have to start looking between like both eyes. And then I'll start like, do you know what I mean? See, that's me now. That's me now. But next time I'm with you and we're having a conversation, I'll say, you've done it again. You're doing it now. You're doing it now.

Okay. I think maybe I must just like, yeah, I must. I must be really good. Can you lip read something to me? I bet could do it what now yeah and just say anything quickly let read it what okay i was just thinking of myself so i'm not saying anyone that's watching this you're actually going to be watching this right now this mic is awfully good i'm going to push it away hang on on. Okay. Okay. Mm-hmm.

No, I'd say I don't get it. Are you something? Are you something? I said, are you a good... Was it woman? Wait, do it one more time. One more time. One more time.

Hang on. Are you a good something woman? Independent woman? No no but slay queen you are i know okay i don't know what the other word was but i said are you a good wing woman to round off the conversation okay yeah right sure i said i wonder if maybe i'm better than the normal because apparently i just read people's lips apparently so do you want to quickly do me let me do it to you quickly my favorite my favorite flowers are hydrangeas yeah correct oh my god we don't even need to talk people's lips i'm still not a good lip reader i actually don't know how i got that that was really good i don't know how you got that either i thought that was quite hard but there you go next time we have a conversation

we're not going to speak out loud we're just going to talk in silence go the next episode is a 45 minute ep but you just have to read our lips you're just in silence you're gonna have to watch it sorry guys well anyway so do you actually think you're a good wing woman then now you're in a relationship like if oh i'm a banging wing woman yeah yeah i have more confidence i like them confident anyways but i have more confidence like talking about my friends because i actually believe i had some like my friends are banging in every way so i'm gonna hype you up like you've never known a hundred percent please i mean if this doesn't work out next time we go on a night out and if i'm still well i'll single but you know what i mean i want you to hype the fuck out of me

to all these people but that's my girl over there yeah she she can't be single and no i'm not staring your lips but my friend over there she will stare at your she will stare into your soul and make you feel so nervous over there yeah absolutely but saying all of this right we've spoken about being desirable on a night out but the most important thing is that you are desirable for yourself and yeah I love that I love that thing on tiktok I don't know if you've seen it where it's like people like i dress not for the male gaze but for the female gaze absolutely always well it's like self-love is like the most important thing like it just makes you more attractive it's like even like my mindset used to be like oh i really want to get into shape so guys like would fancy me whereas like even if i was single i wouldn't think that way anymore like because you're just you're just living your life for someone else like it's so much more attractive you're so much more desirable if you're just your own independent person that does things for you and doesn't

care what other people think 100% and I feel like learning that like comes with like age and like experience with 23 but like after being a couple years of being like that I've now realized it's pointless yeah so like everyone will go through that stage of doing it and then you'll come out and be like actually no yeah and also i would much rather on a night out a girl come up to me and be like i love your outfit oh my god yeah that's like the best compliment if someone comes to me and says i love your outfit i'll be like yeah like I'm re-wearing this one like yeah I mean yeah I'd be so happy or the makeup's good or the hair's looking good any compliment from a girl I'm like oh that's really lovely yeah so overall guys be desirable for the girlies and for yourself that is the main messaging but thank you all so much for listening to this episode I really hope you enjoyed listening to me and staff talk about shitting ourself

and i realize i've got a problem and i need to change everything i've been doing my entire life and look up um but no yeah thank you so much for listening we will see you on thursday's bonus episode very excited for this bonus episode um So yeah, we shall see you then. See you then, guys. Bye.