Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 46. dating terminology

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

There are many new terms and words in the dating world right now that we can’t keep track! So we’d thought we’d put our dating skills to the test and guess what each dating slang means. Honestly some of the words will have your jaws on the floor! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go welcome back to sex eyes and dm slides so it's thursday which means it's time for another bonus episode now in our last bonus we reflected on the lessons we learned in 2023 and put it this way there were a lot so now we've actually established that anna is well and truly in her dating era um so we thought it'd be fun to discuss in dating terms and try and guess what they mean because there are so so many different ones um and I actually don't think I'm gonna be very good at this you know guys there's so many like I I feel like we're gonna know what some of them mean but we're not gonna know that it's called this.

So, okay, I'm going to start reading them out and then see if you can guess them. First one is breadcrumbing. Have you ever heard of this? No. I have never heard of this in my life. Breadcrumbing. Breadcrumbing. Wait, can I just take a guess?

Guess what it is first. Is it like, hmm, breadcrumbing. When I think of of breadcrumbing I'm thinking maybe like they're oh I don't know like leaving like little hints and stuff and little gestures that they like you I don't know this is my it might be wrong no you know no you're not no you're like I you're you're kind of there when someone consistently checks in with a romantic prospect and dangles the possibility of a date and keeps them interested but never follows through with what they really want yeah that does actually make sense for brocoming yeah so they're kind of just being like oh yeah we'll definitely do this and then they

never do it oh i hate that i feel like everyone is experienced or being in a situation like that i know i definitely have yeah where like someone's feel like everyone has experienced or been in a situation like that. I know I definitely have. Yeah, I have. Where, like, someone's always, like, making false plans or, like, giving false hope, and I'm like, you literally don't mean it, so why are you saying it? Well, it's kind of like love bombing in a way.

It's like talking so much shit and not following through with it. And not following through. So, breadcrumbing. Never, didn't know it was called that. Would you say that's similar to love bombing like i would say that is yeah love bombing's like we've never really spoke about love bombing on the podcast have we i don't think so it's like really early on where someone will like be like yeah i love you like and

like just jump from zero to 100 in the first like three days so is it like is it like love bombing or is it the polar opposite of love bombing i can't really tell well i don't know because i feel like they're i don't know like they're always talking about like things they want to do and like all of these ideas with you but they're never actually following it through i feel like that's oh i don't know is that similar to love bombing i mean i don't think i've well actually i know i've never been love bombed but like when when someone's love bombing you do they not do the things or are they just saying them i don't know but then okay so if you get if someone's love bombing and they do say all those things and do the things then why is that such a bad thing because after

they then just stop or what like yeah because i guess yeah then they just stop once they've got you i feel like we need the definition of love bombing because i'm saying should i google the definition of love yeah the definition of love bombing the action or practice of lavishing someone with attention or affection especially in order to influence or manipulate them okay so i don't think i don't think it's like bread crumbing don't i don't think it's i don't think it's break crumbling but then no okay but we've added another one there we go we've also got love bombing we've added another one staff has bought another one okay no they're very different they are very different let's go the all-new fan duel sportsbook Casino is bringing you more action than ever. Want more ways to follow your faves?

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five percent uber cash back on rides not whatever you think university is for get uber one for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student join for just 4.99 a month savings make very eligibility and member terms apply then we've got cobwebbing. Sorry? Cobwebbing. I've never heard of that in my life. So this one is this act of self-love refers to purging any mementos from previous relationships like old sweaters, texts or photos in an effort to move on. Wait can you expand? I'm confused. We are like honestly we literally haven't got a fucking clue what we're all about it's a way of getting rid of things I definitely have done this before like when yeah because I understand that some people like to keep things as memories but for me like I really can't do that like I'll just have a

constant reminder I remember when I um finished with someone from like a really long talking stage I had a lot of stuff in the house that would remind me of them or like random little like t-shirts and stuff I had to clear out my house was gutted did you oh gutted out yeah because I was just like I can't like everything was reminding me of that person so i have cobwebs i don't know if that would affect me that much i don't know maybe okay there's one thing i'm telling you now if i wasn't with my boyfriend there's one thing i'd absolutely get rid of because put it this way it reminds me of him as a joke so i think i showed you the time when i bought him that teddy of my face oh yeah yeah as a joke in return he bought right this is so cringe like i actually can't

even believe i'm putting this on the internet this is a full joke present can no one think we're being serious as a joke he bought me like a snuggly like a pullover and it's got his face all over it and so it's hanging up like with all of my dressing gowns and that is one thing I'll get rid of because it has his face all over it like yeah I feel like you couldn't you could not carry on wearing that if you split up well no I actually don't wear it either but like with it hanging up it's I'm seeing his face 24 7 but that would be a constant reminder I definitely wouldn't straight away be like I'm getting I don't 7 but that would be a constant reminder I definitely wouldn't straight away be like I'm getting I don't know I feel like you never know until you're in this situation

yeah but I also think I don't really regret anything in my life so I probably have loads of stuff from like my ex-boyfriend but like not I wouldn't even know where to look like I probably just put it somewhere but probably I don't really know where to look like I probably just put it somewhere but probably I don't really know if I would have got rid of it and just forgotten about it like that's a good thing though because like it was effort me having to clear up my apartment yeah oh I don't know I guess actually there will be no actually that's a lie I definitely have got rid of a lot of stuff oh no I've done it twice actually so maybe I maybe I am quite a cobwebber I just can't keep things that remind me of people it just stresses me out the next one cookie jarring

why are they all named after like food items this sounds a bit wrong like I feel like when I think of this it's going to be sent quite wrong or like it sounds like it sounds like it'd be dirty maybe that's me having a dirty mind but I don't like a cookie jarring where are we gonna go this one then it's when a person seeks a relationship with someone else as a backup plan in the same way that people might reach for a cookie when they want an instant treat someone who is cookie jarring pursues that this backup person when the one they actually want isn't available or has rejected them right can I give an example of this do you know what I think when guys and I know everyone's

gonna have completely different opinions on this but when you're in a relationship with someone and someone's still like liking I don't know loads of girls bikini pictures and blah blah blah and I feel like this is the whole this could be I feel like everyone's gonna have very different opinions on this but in my eyes personally I think doing things like that is like in our day and age because of most people actually do me online now in my eyes that's almost like entertaining someone and I feel like without people realizing that's almost like cookie jarring because it's almost like I would see that as you're like entertaining them so that if anything happened you know that they're there yeah and I think in a way like when you're liking that person's photo

why would you be doing it unless you want them to know that like they'll see your name pop up in their notifications oh yeah or like even just like following loads of people like you like you don't know in my eyes it's like I'm not saying right this is I feel like this is the whole conversation I'm not saying when someone's in a relationship they need to unfollow every single person I'm literally not saying that at all but if you're following like randoms like naturally like if I got in a relationship I would just like unfollow loads of people not like oh I need to unfollow people but as I'm scrolling down my feed and I didn't know that person I'd be like oh why am I following him I don't need to follow him yeah I would unfollow right especially if it was boys that I'd followed just because I thought

they were good looking and like potentially like like the photos I wouldn't do that but if I stayed following them I think it's because in my head I'd be thinking well if it doesn't work out like I don't want to not yeah it's almost like I've still got them there. I feel like that's kind of like a form of like cookie jarring. Cookie jarring. Yeah, it is a hundred percent. I completely agree with that example.

That was a very quick on the board example. I don't know if that was a good example. No, I think it was. I think it was though, because it's like, I agree. I can't think of another example of cookie jarring,

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The next one, a beige flag. This just means you're like boring right it says a person displaying beige flags is not necessarily good or bad they are just dull boring and lack of effort in dating but then i've seen people say like beige flags can be something that isn't necessarily a red flag but it's not a green flag so it could just be a bit like odd yeah so like say some people would see a red flag as like their boyfriend singing high school musical songs like or something strange like that like to me that'd be funny and i think that's actually quite cute like but i don't see that being as a red flag that could

be something that gives you the ick but it's not really a red flag yeah like a red flag i think is more like when someone does something that's, like, morally wrong. Whereas, like, a beige flag could be, like, I don't know, not, like, something that's, like, really bad that they've done. But I guess, okay, let me try and think of an example. I don't know. Say you was, like, really upset about a situation. Like, and he was, and he, and he said sorry. But he wasn't, like, he didn't even really know what he was saying sorry for but he still made said sorry but like just saying it to say it yeah and it's

like he doesn't really know what he's done doesn't really care i don't know maybe that'd be like a beige flag i don't know that's still kind of a red flag in my eyes yeah i was gonna say that's first you got red flag but beige flag okay it's like dull boring lack of effort yeah um the next one orbiting have you ever heard of this i feel like i've heard of it but i couldn't tell you what it means it is when someone has cut off communication with a person or they have made it clear that they are not interested in pursuing a relationship yet they continue to interact with that person on social media usually through views and likes okay so they're kind of still making themselves known but not directly so almost kind of like the example we use for cookie jarring yeah that's what i mean that's why i think the cookie jar i think is like

so bad like that's why i use that example because i just feel like nowadays it's crazy because like five years ago a like like would have meant nothing but nowadays everyone meets on social media like yeah so a like is a bit like it's a big thing and a yeah which is crazy because it actually sounds stupid when you kind of sounds a bit pathetic but when you think that like, that is how people meet nowadays, it is more than just a like, or a commoner. And it can ruin relationships. Like it actually is a big thing.

When we say it out loud, it's a bit like, eh, but like it is a, it can be the downfall to a lot of people's relationships. So that's orbiting. I feel like maybe I've been bad, like in the past of doing that.

Like, I'm not going to lie. Like, I feel like it's when you don't want to be with someone, but you don't not like them. You still fancy them, but like, you're just not that lie like i feel like it's when you don't want to be with someone but you don't not like them you still fancy them but like you're just not that bothered i feel like it's it's kind of like a fuck boy in a way isn't it like yeah i've definitely like not like stopped speaking to someone but still liked their instagram pictures yeah or like i feel like you can still fancy someone but just not want to be with them can't you i feel like it's just that

yeah okay so that's orbiting then then we've got we're so bad at this by the way i feel like we just actually have no idea about any of these i feel like we're learning on the job though because all of these i've never really heard of no neither um submarining no never heard of it when a match suddenly stops communication but then reappears months later i've done this i can't lie yeah i've done this but i feel like probably never gonna be the one for you because why would it stop why would it stop yeah and then have to resurface and then disappear again and i thought this is someone you fancy but like isn't really the one like you're not meant for each other we're talking like one night stand by like if you're like resurfacing if i was resurfacing someone after like three months

i'd maybe just be doing it because i want a bit of fun yeah and it's easy and you're bored and you're bored yeah then we've got roaching you heard of that one where are you pulling these out from when someone you've been seeing exclusively says they've still been seeing other people saying they thought your relationship was casual oh screw that like that's giving red flag actually just fuck off yes like yeah stupid no i'm not having that i'm not having that i'm not having that someone ever did that to me i'd be like you are roaching they'd be like what are you one of all these terms we're gonna be using in the podcast i'm gonna be like he was submarining babe he was breadcrumbing everyone's

gonna be like what i'm like guys you need to go listen to that bonus episode you've got all the new dating terms 2024 but we've got three more left we've got zombying zombying where has this come from zombying refers to an ex who comes back into your life more often after ghosting you instead of risen from the dead no this is major red flag if you've ghosted me you've made that decision stand by it do not zombie your way back into my life thank you then we've got two more cock fishing okay go on because we all know i'm not gonna know it the act of sending fake or highly photoshopped dick pics what i've never known this unless i'd seen their penis in real life i wouldn't know if they were

cockfishing or not also from a girl's point of view i don't know a single girlfriend that is like turned them on by a guy sending them a dick pic i i have to say it doesn't do anything for me i'm really not it really doesn't if you're gonna send me a picture just send me a nice outfit pic to be honest that'll turn me on more even your body is gonna be more attractive than sending a dick pic like i don't know a single girl that'd be like oh my god like he sent me a picture of his dick like no girl i know is gonna be if i got that i'd be like oh my god girls he sent me a picture of his dick like no girl i know he's gonna be if i got that i'd be like oh my god girls he sent me a picture of his dick like i that would be my reaction like not and it'd be like oh cringe yeah so especially if he if he sent me a

picture of his dick and he edited it i'd be like what imagine if imagine if we like save the photo and at the top it said facetune oh my god because it does that he yeah he does that he'd be getting ripped in the girls group chat um and then the last one is cushioning so cushioning is when you're in a relationship but you aren't sure if it's going to last so you start chatting with other people and stringing them along oh that's bad if you're in a relationship that's kind of cheating. Yeah, it is. It's like cushioning that you're cheating. Yeah, cushioning is cheating.

Cushioning is cheating. So we have now got, how many new terms have we got? About 10 new terms here. I'm not going to lie, I don't think I'm going to remember a lot of them. Neither do I. They're all a bit long. The names are a bit extravagant. I'll probably remember the zombie one.

If someone who ghosted me comes back in my life i remember cockfishing and i'm definitely gonna remember cockfishing and cushioning aka cheating yeah all of the a breadcrumb and i'll probably remember orbiting what submarining what yeah yeah they're just very extreme the names where have these come from for real like who has actually made up these terms? I would really love to know, but we will try and remember them and speak them in the podcast.

So remember this episode, guys. You're going to have to keep going back to it for the definitions. Right, well, that is the end of this nice little bonus episode. I hope you guys have enjoyed. Make sure to head back and listen to Tuesday's episode as well

if you haven't already. I love Tuesday's episode. So definitely go and give it a watch. A little bit TMI, all about desirability. You guys are gonna love it. Thanks for watching and we should see you guys next week.

See you Tuesday, guys. Bye.