Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 5: "I want you to feel my wrath" with Byron

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Our very good friend and fellow YouTuber, Byron, reveals all in this week’s episode and it’s a JUICY one. This week we had no filter and chat our craziest one-night stands and hook-up stories, why Byron thought he had ended up in a porn movie, and what really goes down on influencer trips. And of course, we get stuck into Byron’s DM's to see who he’s been messaging! Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original podcast. Produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tannor and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify the Executive Producer is Rhyanna Coleman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys, I am Anastasia Kingsnorth. And I'm Safran Barker and welcome to Sex, Lies and DM Slides. So each week we invite a guest onto our show to delve into their DMs, to spill the tea, to discuss sex, dating experiences and all of the topics in between. The good, the bad and definitely the ugly. Today we didn't hold back whatsoever. No DM is off limits and definitely no topic is off limits.

Today we were joined with Byron and we were talking casual hookups, sneaky links, some horrendous one night stand stories. Yeah, a lot of one night stand stories. And a whole lot more. Basically, you just need to wait for it. And of course, we invite you guys to slide into our DMs stories of your own. So send us the craziest DM you've ever received or a funny story

about your own sex or dating life that you guys would want to share. Let's do this. I don't want to do it. Let's go. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides.

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tracking with real-time notifications. Or how about more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently So we're going to go straight into the deep end why did you give me such an intense look i'm scared so what's your relationship say yes um i'm newly single imagine i don't want to say for a second i ate my head and i was like so i thought like he was keeping a surprise for the podcast imagine that would be good dedication

I should have done something like that oh my god that would have been so good should have done it should I dump him now? yeah just text him no I'm in a very happy

committed relationship two years almost strong wow had our ups and downs but here we are thriving love that

probably jinx it now this is how we split up love that okay so you're in this is how we split up love that okay so you're in a relationship but let's talk about our friendship for a bit how did we all meet I don't

right I don't know it was we all met online see I know the first time I ever saw Saf in real life I vividly remember

his dreams about it in real life I've met you many times in my dreams I went to an event which Anna begged me to come to and never spoke to me

wait so you two were friends this is bullshit no Anna was trying to like don't know if she was trying to sleep with me but what the fuck trying to sleep with me

Anna you were so shy I was shy she was so shy not on DMs babes you maybe not on DMs hang on a minute straight up

I'm getting a DM up before we even start I tweeted something about like wanting to find a boyfriend on a note and Byron slid my DMs but we were friends then

we knew each other then yeah so that were a joke we knew each other then wasn't a joke we all met like how many years ago six years ago

six seven me and Anna maybe like seven I would say all three of us maybe like six years ago six seven me and Anna maybe like seven I would say all three of us maybe like six years ago yeah I remember seeing you at an event

and I don't know you were with an ex-boyfriend who I were friends with at the time and I remember being like you were just sat eating

with your family or something and I would just like waving at you through the glass and I don't think you could see through the glass I don't think

your eyes are awful anyway and I would just wave it and you just went what is that all I did? yeah and then we spoke afterwards no I think because do you know what

I hate when people are waving at you from a distance and you don't know if they're waving at you and then because the amount of times I have actually waved

and they're not waving at me and I'm like that is so awkward I can't believe I've just waved at someone that's not waving at me I think I felt awkward because I were waving and you me. And I'm like, that is so awkward. I can't believe I've just waved at someone that's not waving at me. I think I felt awkward because I were waving

and you just smiled and I'm like, oh. But also, that was a different event to what I went to because I wasn't there at that one. Oh, maybe it was.

So these are like a year apart. But then you randomly DM'd me a number and were like, my mum thinks we'd be great friends. Like, sent me a number. You did. Because we were sat

reading Twitter dms like just from years ago and we saw way yeah my mom has always loved you i don't know why moms love me i always get my mom loves you and i think is that a compliment like i don't know if it is or like my mom's a good judge of character so i would take that as a compliment i took it as a compliment until i realized like i'm gay 23 and not afro like someone's mom when we met I actually tweeted don't know why I tweeted this it's very embarrassing but permission for any cute boys to slide into my dms you used to have like an automated message that would come up on twitter I don't know he'd like send to everyone because he'd message them

he'd like slide their dms and be like I'm so sorry but you're about to get an automated message from me and then it would send like hi I'm Byron I'm a YouTuber blah blah blah oh I remember when people did that

I remember when so many people did that you know yeah and Anna doesn't think she said well why would you just not send it to me but the weird thing is

I would not it does it automatically that's why it's an automatic DM you don't do it she was like why would you just not tell it to not do that are you sure

because I didn't get it well it didn't do it to everyone and why would you just not tell it to not do it are you sure because I didn't get it well he didn't do it to everyone and maybe I did turn it off for you I don't know you must have because you messaged me saying this is your first

ever message to me welcome to the I would say fandom oh no that is the automated message but I hate that word yeah no get rid of that we're not doing that

we're not reading that can we hear it maybe we can be internet friends or something six years ago you put trade puppy pics whenever. Okay, that's awkward. That was automated.

Sorry, but thanks for following me. So Bestie 8 did send and that was awful. That was different to the automated messages you sent other people. Yeah, I had a selection that I would send out. Bestie, we've got to start somewhere. Anyways, I think we all met online. I messaged you saying like... I remember back in the day my relationship was just so big online.

People would always be like, I love your relationship. I just love like the chapstick challenge. When you did the chapstick challenge in Vegas, sorry, that was one of my favorite videos. I remember the one in Vegas. I was like, I wish that were me. Yeah, because you fancy Jake, didn't you?

But on the topic of like influencers and doing weird videos influencer trips that's a big thing that we've um done do you have any tea from influencer trips

hang on we haven't all been on an influencer we haven't together we've been on like ones as a pair but yeah not together yeah

I feel like a lot of stuff goes down on them trips and I just wish the brand I feel like any brand watching this just mic everyone up get them all to sign a consent form

that anything said on that trip gets posted everywhere. They'd have all the content and that'd be so fun. Like a reality TV show. It's true. Because when we went

on a Jack Wills trip, if they'd done that, the, oh my God, the coverage they would have got would have been crazy. The things that they missed. Yeah, but then do you think people would have done

the stuff they would have done? Oh yeah, basically, they would have, yeah. Really? Yeah, 100%. And if you've signed a form saying we can air it, then just air it all out.

Like, I would have still done everything I did. Like, I think people would have. Really? Yeah. So I'm going to make you explain what happened on an influencer trip.

But an influencer trip in general, I guess it's just a big, it's basically what it says. It's a trip where a load of influencers go on to like said place to promote a brand the one that we're

talking about we went to Ibiza for three days I went to Ibiza I went to Ibiza for 24 hours would have loved to have been there

is that how quick it was? I was there for three days and you came why did you only go for 24 hours? because they didn't have budget to put us

all in a private jet in a big villa like Anna actually experienced I feel like it was really fun, but I feel like a lot of stuff went down. There were a photo of me and Anna in a rubber ring and it looked really,

if you'd have seen it, you would have been like, what the fuck is going on there? How did I not see this? Well, Anna was seeing someone at the time and then we think that person might have seen the photo of me and Anna in the rubber ring, not realizing it were me

and thinking that a whole bunch of shit went down because like Max Belegde tweeted saying like so much shit has gone down on Jack Will's trip

blah blah blah and the boy I was seeing at the time sent me the tweet like this is interesting and there were TikToks and I was like I've not done anything

people made TikToks of like Jack Will's filmed it all as videos so there's like video montages they posted and someone had screenshotted it posted like all the different zoom all as videos so there's like video montages they posted and someone had

screenshotted it posted like all the different zoomed in bits and there's a bit of me and Anna in a rubber ring and they didn't think it was me and Anna we were playing

dodge the couple because honest to god everybody in those rubber rings were kissing like going in and out these rings like kissing

like it was like incest for influencers me Anna and Haz this is like the most bizarre trick me Anna and Haz were in a rubber ring like just floating around very wholesome like all three of us rings, like kissing, like it was like incest for influencers. This is like the most bizarre trip. Me, Anna and Haz were in a rubber ring, like just floating around, very wholesome, like all three of us. We were very tight anyway, so imagine how close we all had to be.

Someone just slipped in the middle of it. I won't say who, but a boy just popped up in the middle when anyone want to kiss. I don't know who this boy is. We just, me and Anna dipped out. Haz stayed and kissed him. Haz stayed in there, I snogged him wait so can I just say why is it that so much

shit happens on influencer trail I think it's just because it's free alcohol it was a free bar all day all day all night yeah

from like and I guess it's like a lot of these people speak to each other online it's finally a time when everyone gets together yeah I feel like I suppose it's like

yeah exciting I don't know I don't really know I think some sort of something were being pumped into that I think some sort of something were being pumped into that villa. Like some sort of pheromones. Is it pheromones?

Some sort of something that everyone was just very horny. Something in the air. Something in the air, literally. So when Max tweeted saying so much has gone down, was that like after a particular thing that happened?

It's because someone said that like everyone cheated on their boyfriends. Not everyone cheated. Just a couple of people happened to cheat on that trip. Right. Slow. For real.

Slow. Oh, God, I don't get it. What a weird place to cheat, though, when there's cameras everywhere as well. Yeah. I just don't, I don't get it. I mean, I just don't get people that cheat. So it's just so far from me. Well, neither, but especially on an influencer trip.

Yeah, like knowing you're going to get caught out I just don't understand a constant photographer down there the whole time which is where that picture of me and you in the rubber ring

came from even though we were just sat talking lord Jesus I just think it's a weird environment to do it in like it's not everyone there

is going to create content and drama around everything that happens anyway so like why give them something do you know what I mean like you just won't do it

but basically what we're saying is next time, mic us up. Next time, mic us up. And you'll catch all the shit 24-7. Do it.

Check wheels. This is directly aimed at you. We probably won't get invited back. Lord, we were the problem, maybe. Maybe we were the issue. Okay,

so this week, we are talking about casual hookups and sneaky links and one night stands. So, hit me with your best one night stand story.

I think, I know you've got a few, so. So what, I've been very wholesome and nice for two years now. I didn't actually have

much of a hoe face at uni. Kind of did in secret. There's been many a times where you thought I was dead. Like, Anna has rang me in panic

being like, Byron, where are you? You're very late. Because I was very secretive about what I was doing. Like, Anna has rang me in panic being like, Byron, where are you? You're very late. Because I was very secretive about what I was doing. Like, when you were in uni,

I felt like, just like, live my life, but not like, overly live my life. I could have done more. I look back and think, Esther,

you could have done more. But I didn't. You could have. You had such a tame uni experience. You could have slept with like, so many people, but you didn't. Yeah,

missed opportunity there. Don't really regret it though. But I did, do you know when you meet a stranger? Do you know when you casually meet a stranger? Like that's not a casual thing. But I feel like in gay culture a lot, you do often meet people

and it's like a prearranged thing, like a hookup thing. Don't know if straight people do that. Can I just add, I think gay culture is so different to like straight culture i think straight people do it but it's so much more accessible like well i think anyway being gay anyway long story short at uni met a few strangers and my mom would always say don't touch strangers but if you do like tell someone where you're going and what you're doing never did that never did that just went and met him could have died and

there's been numerous times where I've lied to my friends about where I am and what I'm doing and then being caught out or just admitting it drunk anyway yeah one of the times

I was panicking I don't know if you're going to say about the Summer in the City time was it Summer in the City or VidCon? it was Summer in the City and I was panicking very dramatic may I add no because I panic

if you say tell me you're going to be here at this time anything could have happened right yeah he didn't turn up and he wasn't answering my calls I would give him blowjobs no because I panic if you say tell me you're going to be here at this time anything could have happened right yeah he didn't turn up and he wasn't answering my calls I would give him blowjobs

and he turns up three hours later and he was like I've just been to Westfield to get myself a new pair of shoes hi babes which I did do as well I thought to myself

like gotta give like a narrative we were going to an event and I thought I'm going to be in a hotel all weekend with my friends like quick little pre-meeting greet blowjob maybe um and I also needed to go to Westfield so I thought this is my perfect opportunity told everyone left mine early

they were all getting to the event I said guys I've got to go shopping I'll hold back so I stayed back about half an hour actually did have really bad bowel movement then as well so I weren't in a good way. Probably not the best time to be a real tree. How do you remember this? Don't even remember what happened yesterday. Because Anna traumatized me with it. Because I was really scared. It made me panic.

And I questioned every decision since then. I think, oh, I should probably actually think about this. One, Probs had a bit of an IBS flare up. Shouldn't have been trying to hook up with anyone. Should have been at an event meeting people that had bought tickets to come and see us. Probably should have done my job. Also shouldn't have lied to my hook up with anyone should have been at an event meeting people that had bought tickets to come and see us probably should have done my job also shouldn't have lied

to my friends went to Westfield forgot my wallet at home so I was even more late like don't you try and hide a story with a bit of truth but then

just because you're lying it throws everything off it was just a bundle of lies it was a bundle of lies that I tried to make seem truthful and it just all came out

and I just had to confess my sins because Anna was ringing me mid activities being like what is happening you said you were

going to be here an hour ago and I'm like I wasn't crying oh babes you were very panicked very panicked I had my friends

messaging me I had Haz and everyone messaging me like Anna's really worried are you alright we're not worried but Anna is we're not worried, but Anna is.

We're not worried, but Anna is. And I was like, best day I'm just living my life. Then I had to confess. It was just very embarrassing, the whole thing. Oh, wow. Yeah, it weren't even good sex either. Where did you meet this person? Met him on Grindr, sadly.

Really? On Grindr? Yeah. I would love to go through your Grindr. I think it'd be so good. I would show you the messages because I feel like I'm not very like... I don't message people like, hey, on there are these creeps.

But can you explain what Grindr is for people who don't know? Because I didn't really know much about it until you kind of explained what it was. Grindr is basically, it's advertised as a dating app, but I would directly say it's a sex app. But I don't think people...

Well, saying that, I kind of met Lewis on there and look at us now it's late I feel like it is it's advertised as a dating app but it is a dating app but instead of like tinder where you swipe through people you can see you're where like the proximity of where you are it shows you in like a how many miles radius of people that are nearby that are also on the app so if someone were in this office next door it's like Adam

five meters away like and then you can just message them so you don't have to match you can just message them obviously they can message you oh wow and it's just very

message someone if you're feeling horny and then five minutes yeah like yeah fun time I mean I say that like I'm not an avid user

like even when I was at uni and stuff that's what I mean how many that like I'm not I'm not an avid user like even when I was at uni and stuff that's what I mean how many people did you shag from Grindr three oh yeah bestie

I'm not a whore I'm not a whore Anna what about your one night stand stories huh we've got a joint one night stand story we have a joint one

wait what I don't know about this not together not like a tandem not together it was okay I one wait what I didn't know about this not together not like a tandem not together it was okay I was gonna say I definitely need to know this

it was my 19th birthday I think yeah we'll say that for legal reasons yeah I think it was I think it was it was my 19th birthday

and was it no it actually was and it's floral 15 and we were all in London, but I basically, we'd got this like Airbnb,

but there was a lot of us there. There was like 13, 14 of us in this like two bedroom Airbnb. Not practical at all. And then there was this like beautiful boy who you introduced me to. Yeah, best day. I were trying with this boy for a while.

Right. Do you know when you meet someone and he didn't say he was straight didn't say he was gay but would flirt with me a little bit and I was like

this boy's weird so was he bi? no clue oh you still don't know so this isn't the guy that's in the story he's dropped off no it is

oh okay it is but like we met I don't even know how we met him oh I do know how we met him grander

no I wish I wish no I met him because I like at No, I wish. I wish. No, I met him because I like, at uni I did photography, so I would look for models and he was on a website with models. So then I followed him on Instagram

and we had a lot of mutual friends. So I was like, oh, this boy seems cool. Follow me back. We were just chatting on Instagram and then we organized for some reason for him to come to Anna's birthday party. I don't know how this happened. He took us out for food, remember? Yeah, it was so weird't know how this happened. He took us out for food, remember?

Yeah, he took us out. It was so weird. It was so weird. He took us out for food, paid for this meal, saw Molly Mae and Tommy in that restaurant actually, slay from them.

Yeah, we did. Got a free meal and then it must have been at that meal. Throw that in there. It must have been at that meal. They were at Anna's birthday actually. They were part of the sex story,

Tommy and Molly. Oh, really? Oh, shut up. Got a free meal and it must have been at that meal that Anna was like oh do you want to like it was very awkward

so we must have had to think about it no it wasn't it wasn't I know what it was I messaged him like three hours before saying oh I'm in London

tonight it's my birthday do you want to come out and he was like yeah like sound can I bring some of my friends that's so weird though we met the boy once I don't know why

I feel like I would do that. It was, he's beautiful. Yeah, he is beautiful. Okay, I want to know the story. Anyway, fast forward. We go to this club. He arrives with his friend. His friend happens to be gay.

Didn't know he were gay until he started groping me. Did not realize he were gay. So you figured out pretty quick. Well, me and Anna, we were like competition. It was like battle of the... It was who's going to get this boy. Battle of the blowjobs. Right get this boy battle of the blowjobs

right okay battle of the blowjobs and we were after this boy all night and then it reached a point where it was just us four like we'd left all our friends me and Anna were just

on the dance floor and it was like a club like we're underground like very weird like in a cave sort of vibe very weird

and then all of a sudden me and Anna just looked at each other at the same time we were like we we're going to have a threesome. But screaming in the bar. Stop. Screaming in the bar, like newly 18, 19

screaming in the bar, like we're going to have a threesome. I thought we were on Geordie Shore or something. Clearly weren't. And then we thought we were going to have a threesome with the one boy. Turns out two minutes later the other boys grew up in me. So I'm like, oh my God, this is like against the wall.

Like I'm not, it sounds not consensual, but I weren't saying no. He was loving it. And these photos of me and this boy kissing, like it's awful. And they just live forever now. And it's awful. Anyway, getting sidetracked. We thought we were going to have a threesome with this

one boy then this other boy starts kissing me so suddenly Anna's won the main prize and on hook or duck where you get the small teddy

I've got the small teddy she's got the big one but everyone's kissing him and looking over at me like I was actually had my eyes open

kissing everyone I'm fucking fuming anyway somehow but you're still kissing him still kissing him still kissing him I thought may as well

live my best life end up going back to the Airbnb don't know how we made it because everyone else went home before us I think they were sick to death of just watching me

and Anna kiss two boys right and also they were so drunk and get pinned up against the wall so drunk they all made it home but they all claimed the bed so it's a two bed room

for like 13 people they claimed one of the beds some of the girls claimed the bed so it's a two bed room for like 13 people they claimed one of the beds some of the girls claimed the other bed me and Anna strolling with these boys again think we're on Geordie Shore walking

there's nowhere for us to sleep where are we sleeping? we've brought dates home where are we going? so me and Anna are on sofas like facing each other on sofas

suddenly I start hearing like sounds from Anna's sofa you have missed the main part I think I've heard this story before what's the main part I was sat next to you

on the sofa oh besties while he's sucking his dick under the blanket whilst we're mid conversation with everybody else

this is not like me there's a picture so you guys are having a conversation I'm talking to Kira across there's a couple of other people in the room. And then someone just goes.

I don't know. And it's just the blanket moving. I'm shocked. Oh no. Like right now I'm shocked. You're shocked. You're like, that was me. But yeah, I don't feel like that was me.

But it was me. That was. That was weird. That is weird. Kind of fun though. Like hearing it back, I think, oh, that's kind of fun. But like, I don't feel that with me. But it was.

I confirm it was me. So did you actually sleep with them? Did you both have one night stands? No, I didn't. That happened. Oh, I did. That happened. You did some bits and bobs.

I heard a hell of a lot of noises. But he had a micropenis. I don't know about this. So this guy that used both grafting all night, that is so beautiful, ended up having a micropenis I don't know about this wait what so this guy that used both grafting all night that is so beautiful ended up having a micropenis

this is why slow and steady wins the race I thought I got the little teddy on the hook of dope apparently not babe but I didn't I got the big hook

do you know what I mean that is so funny I were laid there obviously me and this boy were doing a bit of foreplay while everyone was still there very rogue

don't know why we did that decide to go to bed turn off the lights so I'm on this like tiny little sofa with this boy Anna's on the other one with this other boy

then I start hearing weird sounds and then the boy said this is very oh my god whispering but not whispering so I'm laid there

like me and this boy had like had sex but not really had sex. Won't really say it counted. Like it was just very weird, like just weird experience. It's like when girls say like, they're still a virgin

because they didn't pop the cherry. That's what I'm trying to play off right now. Didn't sleep with him. Did sleep with him. And then I hear this boy whispering from the other sofa. You're playing a dangerous game, Miss King's North. And I'm sat there thinking, oh God.

The one that you're both trying to get a word. I can hear like little like sounds whilst he's whispering that and I'm thinking, get me out. Can't sleep. I can't sleep while I'm hearing that. That would make me feel sick. Anyway, woke up in the morning, they left. I went into the bathroom and just thought, what was that?

They were gone before we even woke up, I feel. No, I remember saying goodbye to them but they left very early. And then we've not seen them since.

At least they got up and left. Do you prefer that? Do you prefer that they just get up and go? Get up. What do you think? Have you had a

one night stand? See, I don't know if these count. That's what I'd say. I didn't sleep with them but you did. No, no, no. I've slept with these people that's what I'd say I didn't sleep with him but you did no no no

I've slept with these people but every person I've slept with once has been someone I know it's like I've known them before like I've never ever gone to a club and met someone out

and like gone and slept with them I knew him for four hours it still counts I think you've slept with him for one night I've known them for a while but then I've slept with them

for one night once and a few people that's happened with so I think that's a one night I've known them for like a while but then I've slept with them for one night once and a few people that's happened with so I think that's a one night stand on the bird yeah yeah okay but I've never gone home

with like a randomer so like no technically they wouldn't just leave because it's weird because like we're also friends so how does that work then if you've just

technically slept with your friends yeah yeah but it's friends with like sexual tension there so there's still that I think there always will be do you know what I mean

so can we hear a story no no because it's just not that interesting though it's just not that interesting okay so how do you address it after so you've slept with your friend

once now oh it's just a bit awkward but then like you want to stay friends with them so you're just like oh just move on we've just fucked so now we'll just move on yeah firstly then like you want to stay friends with them so you're just like oh just move on we've just fucked and now we'll just move on

yeah Bessie why are you acting like that's not something you've done Queen yeah that's what I mean I feel like yeah I feel like

that's not I like I just don't feel like it's that interesting yeah babes and I'm not saying so I'm not acting shocked you're acting perplexed

at like how on earth would you sleep with your friend and move on from it I'm not saying... I'm not acting shocked. You're acting perplexed. Like, how on earth would you sleep with your friend and move on from it? I'm not acting that way. You are. That's what I mean. It's just like, you just have to, right? Just got to get on with it.

Yeah. But you've never had like an actual one night stand where you've met someone in a club? No, like I've never... No. I've never done it. I think a saffron bar car is going to do it. He'll phase it out.

40? Yeah. You still think I'm going to be single at 40? Yes. That's fucking crazy. Or maybe... Get it out of your system. Great.

I've got a lot to live up to. God. You know what though? There's a fact that we got on Twitter and there's a study of a thousand people and 66% agreed that they had at least one night stand in their lifetime. At least one night stand.

But I think if mine counts as a one night stand then I'm in that percentage. Well, what would you call it though? Yeah, I mean, okay. Fine, fine. It is a one night stand. Yeah.

But not with a randomer. Maybe I need to do that. Oh, I just think you care too much. Yeah, but I do. But the thing is, also, I've been doing my job since I'm so young that like, I just think you care too much. Yeah, but I do. But the thing is, also, I've been doing my job

since I'm so young that like, I just, it would get around. It's not like everyone would find out. If I slept with a random person, everyone would find out.

I've done it. Yes, and people find out. I feel like you wouldn't be that bothered, but I would. Of course I'd be bothered. Imagine sleeping with Strictly Star Saffron Barker. I'd be tweeting about that with Strictly Star Saffron Barco I'd be tweeting about that mid

mid sex tweeting live tweeting imagine no I don't know yeah I think I care too I do care too much that is it let's talk one night

at Stan Decorum so would you text the day after would you leave or would you stay over I think it just depends like if it's a friend i'm gonna i'm not i'm not staying it's not regular for everyone to be shagging their friends

i mean if it's a friend we keep going back to it not everyone does that queen no i'm aware of that no okay but like if you partly know them i'm all gonna leave straight away is what i'm saying if it's a friend you're going over for fucking brunch like yeah i'm gonna school the next day with said friend leave straight away is what I'm saying if it's a friend you're going over for fucking brunch like you're not going to school the next day with said friend I don't think I would like every

one night stand I've had I've not really kept in contact with a person have you texted them off I think it would be

like I would want someone to text me off to consent at least it's like text them saying what I don't I don't know good puss

I don't know I don't know. Good puss. I don't know. I don't know. It'd be nice. Enjoyed last night. Yeah, review. Yeah, but then I, but then I may,

yeah, maybe not. You should send them a questionnaire to fill out after. Yeah. That'd be quite fun. Yeah, that'd be quite fun. I feel like with gay culture, like that's just not a thing.

You're probably blocked by the time they've even left your house. It's just not, I don't think, blocked by the time they've even left your house like it's just not I don't think I've not really had many like one night stands but I can't recall

me like keeping in touch with them or even messaging them after to be fair I feel like if I knew that was going to be the case I'd probably have more one night stands but I just know

that's never going to like it's never the case just manifest that you wake up one morning a gay man get your crystals out okay babes yeah I'll manifest it manifest it Like, it's never the case. Just manifest that you'd wake up one morning a gay man. Get your crystals out. Okay, babes.

Yeah, I'll manifest it. Manifest it, write it in a diary or something. Okay, sure. No, I feel like, yeah, if I knew that was going to be the case, would you more? More what? Like, more likely sleep with just, have more one night stands. And I can't get any more.

And it's like, more? More? No, but would you, like, more likely do it if you just knew they were just going to leave you're never going to see them again yeah well I don't really know I feel like I've got to the stage

where I'm just kind of over the whole one night stand thing like I feel like I'm not even really done it many times why are you putting that face babes I get a call from you weekly oh my god I'm in love with this new boy

next week it's another boy right no I just that's a one night stand that's a one night date that's a one night date's a one night stand. That's a one night date. That's a one night date. I don't sleep with him. That's a one night date. Apparently Anna doesn't go on many dates.

Oh, serial date over here. God knows what I do. I know. This is what I keep saying. I've never known anyone ring me as much and have the same conversation. I could actually just record my voice, leave it by the phone,

not even be having the conversation. It'd all fit perfectly. I have the same conversation every time she goes on a date that she's in love he's the one her manifesting's worked Mercury's out of retrograde

like his star sign in mine's compatible my horoscope said this I just think best day next week it's going to be another boy and she does it every week you know what though I don't ever see them second time that's what I mean

this is what I mean I see them once and then I get bored so then I'll just find another guy and I'll have the same cycle over and over again that is my problem

so why every time you leave do you think they're the one I don't know I think it's just do you think you just enjoy the moment you just enjoy going out

and have a nice time I'm drunk I'm drunk and they wear represent and I like it she's drunk they offer to pay for the food they have the same favourite colour

they can't believe like some of the childhood memories that align it's crazy and then she's like oh my god we actually and I like it. She's drunk. They offer to pay for the food. They have the same favourite colour. They can't believe like some of the childhood memories that align. It's crazy. And then she's like, oh my God, we actually are soulmates.

I've never said that. Oh. I'll record it next time. There won't be a next time. I'm actually going on a second date this time. Oh, babes. I know.

I know, guys. More to come. Anyway, have you guys got a sneaky link? No, babes. I'm so single. Have you guys got a sneaky link? No, babes. I'm so single. Have you ever had a sneaky link? Like a friend with benefits?

Not really. Babe, that was totally... I'm hinting at a lie. No, no. I'm thinking Lainey Tate. No, it's not even that. Like, I have... No, I haven't.

I don't believe you. Are you looking at me... Why are you looking at me like that? What about us no I'm kidding no I feel like you have sure though I can think of a few

no I haven't oh oh babe so you do know a few yeah yeah this is another one you did lie no

no do you know what it is I have never had like a friends with benefits situation because I know I would get too attached to somebody like I would have too many feelings

like a hundred percent but I've actually got to the stage now where I think I could for too attached to somebody. Like I would have too many feelings, like a hundred percent. But I've actually got to the stage now where I think I could. For the first time in my life, I feel like I could. So a guy I was seeing not that long ago, I was like seeing him, but towards the end,

to be honest, all I wanted, I just answered him. I wanted to sleep with him. That was it. I think this might be who I'm thinking of. Yeah, so in the end, that's why I was kind of like,

not really, because it wasn't really like that. But that's kind of all I wanted it might be who I'm thinking of yeah so in the end that's why I was kind of like not really because it wasn't really like that but that's kind of all I wanted it to be in the end do you know what I mean yeah I've never like gone with

like intention to be like oh I'm just going to be friends of benefits with this person I don't how does that even come about with people how do you just agree

like yeah we're just going to be friends of benefits we're just going to fuck I don't know but I feel like I would actually enjoy it now I feel like now I could do it season two of this podcast is going to be friends with benefits we're just going to fuck I don't know but I feel like I would actually enjoy it now I feel like now

I could do it season two of this podcast is going to be great it'll just be staff in the hot seat we should get them on have a little guest yeah babes

a lot of our friends have sneaky links I don't think I've ever had a sneaky link I haven't I mean I was sort of seeing someone for a long

period of time but like we weren't officially like it was kind of like friends with benefits I guess of time, but like we weren't officially like, it was kind of like friends with benefits, I guess, actually. Yeah, but I, yeah, sneaky link is I literally think you just meet up to have sex.

Kind of what it was. But then also at the same time, I feel like I would really like, I would have, that would have been a relationship. Like for me anyway. So you caught feelings? Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean.

I just feel like you always catch feelings. But then I think because the last guy that I was like seeing and I felt this way towards the end, I'm now like, well, maybe I could because I didn't really feel that way with him in the end. I was like, well, maybe I could do this now. Oh, because did you enjoy the sex? That's what I'm saying. Yes, you just enjoyed the sex.

Yeah, in the end, that was never what it was like at first. That was never my intention. Were you just bored I was bored of his personality alright basically I was bored of him

as a person everyone guessed who she saw the dick was good yeah that was good we're talking a sneaky link story do you want to tell me

about the policeman story oh babe would you count that as a sneaky link I got arrested that night wait what oh god is this a sneaky link? I got arrested that night. Wait, what? Oh God. Is this a sneaky link or a one night stand?

This is, I lived in a porn movie for like a minute. That's the only way I did it. We'll start from the beginning. So we, 20, I need to get my dates right. Otherwise I'm going to look like I've cheated on my boyfriend. Imagine if I'm like last year no it was before I met Lewis

we went to Santorini on holiday like a big group holiday and then all the girls flew straight from Santorini to Cavos so no one came home apart from a few of my friends from Sheffield but no one came back to Manchester so I came back to Manchester on my own

went to my apartment on my own and as I was walking through the reception, there were two police people putting up like a COVID warning something. Like someone had been reported in the building for having like a party or something. And they were putting up like a COVID notice, like the building's been fined or something ridiculous.

So these were like actual legit policemen? These were like actual legit policemen. So they just put this notice up. So I'm sitting reception and I'm waiting to go through the doors. I had to fob in like 20 times in this building. Like it was just really annoying. Got all my stuff, just come from the airport, look like I'm about to die. And then I was reading the sign on the wall as I was waiting for, I think I was waiting for my post from the post room. So I was just stood in reception anyway, loitering around, probably looked like a criminal. And the policeman came

over and he was like, speaking about this COVID notice, I was just thinking this is really pointless. Like, what are we talking about? But when someone's looking you very intensely in the eyes, like he was looking me very intensely. And I could feel myself getting embarrassed because he's older

than me. Like he could be, I know how old he is. But you're actually getting embarrassed? Like the same age as my dad. So I knew he could be like my dad's age. So he was staring me in the soul and I'm feeling a bit flush because like he were really muscular

in this police outfit. And then that's when in my head, my cogs are turning like, what is going on here? During someone's like flirting. So I was like, yeah, blah, blah, just having a pointless conversation about this piece of paper

with like ink on it. And then he's like, yeah, blah, blah, just having a pointless conversation about this piece of paper with like ink on it. And then he's like, oh, so do you live here then? And I was like, yeah. And in my head, I'm thinking it's very obvious that I live here. I was like, yeah.

He was like, oh, you're not from Manchester though. Like you don't sound Mancunian, blah, blah, blah. Just having a really normal conversation, but not what you'd have with a police officer on duty.

Like, yeah. But that was making me feel like a bit like, what is going on here? Anyway, he said something like, do you live here? Blah, blah. And I was like, yeah.

And then he was like, you're really good looking, by the way. And I was like, oh, thank you. He was like, your eyes are beautiful, all this stuff. So I thought, what the fuck is going on?

I don't know if he asked for my Instagram or he asked for something to, he was like, I'd love to like, I don't know if he said, my Instagram or he asked for something to, he was like, I'd love to like, I don't know if he said, I can't really remember it because I feel like I just were like in like a, my adrenaline was rushing. Anyway, I exchanged some sort of details.

So he had something to message me on. I think it were Instagram. It might have even been Snapchat, which is a bit rogue. And then he messaged me. He was like, message me saying, what are you doing later? I'd love to see you after my shift. And I was like, oh, nothing. My friends are still on holiday. Like we had a conversation about me being on holiday

that I had my suitcase in my hand. And he was like, oh, well, I can come over if you want. Like once I finished. So like... What? This has escalated quickly. Yeah, but there were conversations in between that in person. That must have been a bit flirty. But in my head, I was just like, what the fuck's going on?

So then as soon as, I feel like gay culture moves very quick. So I knew what was happening. If that conversation would have happened on a nap like Grindr, I would have already anticipated what was happening. And I didn't want to overstep any boundaries by being too forward.

I was like, beautiful man. A lot older than me, but still. My mum's going to hear this. Beautiful man. Does your mum know this story, by the way? No, obviously not. So we exchanged a few messages he suggests coming over he says I

can pick up a bottle of wine and come over so I'm like do I do this or do I not solely the fact that he were a policeman in uniform I thought this feels like porn like this feels

like when a policeman comes knocking at your door and suddenly like do you know what I mean like you're stuck in the door and suddenly like do you know what I mean like you're stuck in the microwave or something do you know what I mean? Stuck in the microwave? Stuck in the tumble dryer What? And porn when like the woman's

stuck in the dryer and then the handyman comes up What porn have you been watching? I've never seen a woman stuck in a tumble dryer I'll send you a link No! But that is a thing so I just anyway live in my porn store fantastic

been a while been a holiday with my friends not had much action in a while thought this is great this is one for the bucket list I feel like I love moments where I'm like this is just such a good story to tell

so that turned me on even more just knowing that I could tell other people that this is such a fun story so you could tell the podcast right now exactly worthwhile

so anyway this man comes over I was sh worthwhile so anyway this man comes over I was shitting myself at this point comes over still in his uniform like he's not gone home after his shift

gone and picked a bottle of wine up from Sainsbury's or wherever comes straight to my house so he's come to yours in the end comes straight to my house already knows where I live

obviously just been there like half an hour before comes in did he come in his like what uniform in his uniform still oh I'll tell you what I his like what uniform he was in his uniform still oh I'll tell you what I'd love that

he was still in his uniform but I think he knew he must have done it before I think he knew what he was doing yeah and like it was like a moment of like

this police I opened the door to a fucking police officer I'm like arrest me no I don't he comes in it was so awkward at first

like when I say I've not really hooked up with many people like even on like when I say I've not really hooked up with many people like even on like when I was at uni not really done it I was out of action by that point

just had Covid not been hooking up with anyone didn't know what to say we were just speaking about a lot of things I suddenly started telling him my entire

life story probably didn't really care about that had a bottle of wine started watching Spiderwick Chronicles on Netflix we're laid on my sofa

so imagine me like I'm still skinny now but I feel like I were a lot skinnier then watching Spiderwick Chronicles on Netflix. Not Spiderwick. We're laid on my sofa. So imagine me like, I'm still skinny now, but I feel like I were a lot skinnier then. I was very petite. Like when I look back at myself, I'm still fucking like string bean. But like we were laid on the sofa.

This big buff policeman is like laid behind me on the sofa like spooning, watching Spiderwick Chronicles. I can't, that image makes me feel weird. I think it was just so awkward. And his policeman outfit.

Was he in his policeman uniform? He had just a shirt on, like just a white shirt. He didn't have all the shields. I was imagining the full yellow jacket. Yellow? Yellow? What the hell? Yellow, babe.

What are you on about? What colour is it? Blue? Blue? I thought it was black. Black or blue, right? It's like a black, like... I thought it was like dark navy. What the hell am I imagining like dark navy no

I don't know I can't remember I weren't really looking at his uniform if I'm honest anyways not yet anyway I don't know where that comes from we watched the full film

Spiderwick Chronicles it's getting to the end I love that film when he's looking through that little stone that's such a weird film I know it's about to end and I'm thinking

why has no one made a move that was just a nice break up you watched the full thing yes babe because it was'm thinking why has no one made a move like that was just an icebreaker you watched the full thing yes babe because it was very awkward like do you want to watch a film like lay on the sofa no one makes a move

so then I'm like oh fuck I know it's about to end I know this part when he's looking through the stone but I knew what part of the film we were at credits are about to come up so something happened

initiated something long story short ended back in my bedroom and suddenly this police officer back in my bedroom and suddenly this police officer is in my room like on top of me like kissing me and stuff

and I feel like I got a bit of an ick. So long story short, exchanged a blowjob with him. Didn't experience no handcuffs. Very awkward.

That's sad that he didn't handcuff you. I can't believe he came all that way though and he didn't like try a bit harder. He tried when we were in my bedroom but he gave me the like I can't believe you sat and watched way though and he didn't like try a bit harder he tried when we were in my bedroom

but he gave me the like I can't believe you sat and watched the whole of the Spiderwick Chronicles I thought I was going to be a bit faster I think by that point the like adrenaline of it feeling like you're in porn like no porn's like a Spiderwick Chronicles duration that's an hour and like however long porn don't last that long

so in my head the porn had finished like I'd already moved on and then he's still in my flat do you know what I mean? so like after this all went down like how did he leave well he was trying to sleep with me i was like oh no i was like no no no oh my god oh no no i'm gonna say i think i had chlamydia at that point but that worked there was some reason that I didn't sleep with him. And yeah, I can't have done that

because like, yeah, things went down. Imagine if I didn't have chlamydia. I didn't. Well, yeah, just to exchange a blowjob.

It's like a gay handshake, I feel. Just a little blowjob between friends. A gay handshake is a blowjob? Yeah. Wow. I feel like I could have done more

how are you doing yeah that's what I mean how are you doing like he was checking my flat was safe for like covid measures do you know what I

mean oh my god that's why you were there but then yeah we just finished quite literally finished and left

and then he tried to see me again and I was just like what he tried to see you again yes babe oh babes you must be good he is so muscular now like He tried to see me again and I was just like... What? He tried to see you again? Yes, baby. Oh, babes,

you must be good. He is so muscular now. This is also an older man. Yeah. How old is he? I think he's got money as well. Has he? I don't know.

He's like late 40s. Wow. But my dad's late 40s. Yeah. Do you still follow him on Instagram? I unfollowed him when I met Lewis because I thought

he would message me a lot I want to see a pic of this man you've seen it I showed you him before I tell you what though I do like a man in uniform I'm not going to lie

the entire thing was fun that's a bucket list moment though I'll have that forever yeah that's a bucket list moment that is and it was so fun drawing

but like just because it got dragged if it was like quick like it would have been slay but it just because it got dragged if it were like quick like it would have been slay but it just got dragged out a bit too much

and I thought about what I was doing and I had time to think about it all I just like yeah no not for me that's such a fun story

to tell though yeah there is such a good story to tell your kids tell my grandkids god tell my mum right now

hi mum like do you know what I mean? Let's go. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members. Woohoo! Involuntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal.

Woohoo! The deal on a new blender squeal, or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this Prime Big Deal Days, October 8th and 9th. As the world's population grows, so does the need for resources like potash to support sustainable food production. This is why BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. This is what BHP has committed to Canada. The future is clear.

It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. To discover how, visit bhp.com slash better future. Speaking of stories like that, we like to read people's DMs. Can you pass your phone over? My DMs are so boring. Or any messages on like, I don't know what, you haven't really got any,

well, you obviously don't have a date. I've been in a relationship for two years. Yeah, it's a bit boring. You could search. Oh, fun idea. You could search in my messages. Yeah, you should do that like a certain word. Like search a word.

You should do that. Okay, give me a word to search. I don't know if that's worse I don't know um cum I'm bored yeah because I was gonna say

like search like daddy or something but then it would just come up as those are jokes they're just called the policeman's messages you've sent a message oh no this is really putting you on the spot this is also throwing

Lewis in the deep end like yeah this is all between you and Lewis by the way well you'd hope so obviously imagine if it weren't you just texted Lewis saying I'm here prepping the cum tissues I feel so wrong reading this Byron why I feel wrong it being read and they're not read that one no what's that

I'll read it what's that basically it might be nudes in there sorry I want you to feel my wrath

what's that what guess what you wrote to Lewis no I didn't swear on your life no swear on your life

this is what he says no I don't even want to hear this I might have to sit my headphones off I don't want to hear it you can still hear it oh fuck

I don't want to hear it oh god I want to I actually don't like it how funny is it because you put oh no it's very loud

in my headphones I can't listen I want you to feel my wrath that's a joke and then you oh god that's a joke I can't listen. I want you to feel my wrath. That's a joke. And then you... Oh, God. That's a joke.

Or whatever that word is. So you don't even know what it is. Exactly. See, no, this is what I mean. That worked for me. And then you put... But instead, I'm like... And then you put like,

almost quotation marks. Oh, my God, babe, you'll come on my bed, make me cry, come on me again. Ooh. And he put... This is a joke.

He put, let me fill your ass. This is obviously a joke. Like, this is a joke. Slap me as hard as you want. Oh God, this is a joke. Slap me? Is it?

Is that what it is? Is it a joke? Yeah, I'm laughing. Ha ha. Well, like, come inside you. Okay. All right. Move. Search me. I saw one about... laughing haha come inside you okay alright

move search and move I saw one about then he put lol that was a joke oh I'm sorry told ya

all a joke but then you still go on about fuck me all the good stuff there was something about pissing on each other as well

what I saw get out of there no Anna no Anna please search a new word search a new word I can't actually ever get out I'm never leaving the studio

I'm not going to click on the chat no Anna no this is what you've been eating in your room for like months on end because you don't want to see anyone I can't be seen by anyone my mum

I'll change the word after this one. You just said to him, let me be your comrade. I want you to come in my bum, on me, and in my mouth all at once. I live with the boy. Why am I saying this on text? I want to feel my dick pulsing inside you

as I come. I'm going to change the word now. Give me a different word. Oh God. I feel like a horny teenage boy. I've been with the boy two years. Why is it that exciting still? Oh, you could do the word horny.

Oh yeah, that's good actually. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I wish I just had fun DMs. You know, like you, you, you decided this. Yeah, like you wanted that. Yeah, because my DMs are so dry. Like what are you saying in my DMs? Look, it's just his and Lewis chat.

Look. Why are we texting? We live together. Well, no, babe. At least you're keeping it exciting. This was... Oh, I'm sweating. This was like last month.

All right, babe. We don't need timestamps. I only want to be horny for you, sir. Well, there's got to be context to that. Yeah. Why don't I read yours? Let's flip the narrative. I'll read your DMs. To be fair, no one's done that yet. Oh, I't I read yours? Let's flip the narrative. I'll read your DMs.

To be fair, no one's done that yet. Oh, I don't know, babe. Puss me off while I'll read yours. There's nothing. Search a word. Search a word. I don't even want to search a word. I think I'll be scared.

I honestly don't remember the last time I've sexted. Be careful. Baby, you be careful. Don't click on the top chart. Oh, when I, yeah. I want to be really horny and worked up all day, so it's like a big one. Okay, babe.

Oh my God. Anna's, I've just got links to sex toys. Like, love, honey, you're sending someone some sex toy links. What is that about? No, I think someone might have sent me that. I searched finger and a boy's message was saying haha fish finger sandwich

I've not had one of those in ages that is so funny oh Anna said oh no I can't I don't like this game anymore I brought a boy back and shagged him

and then blank came in the room laid next to me in the sheets whilst I was still naked and sat in the condom. Still sat in the condom? And sat in the condom.

Well, you've put in, it's meant to be on. So I read it from the top. No, I'll read it again. Because you've made it up. Who did I send that to? Me. You put, I brought a boy back from blank. It gives it away when it was and probably who it was if I said a name. And then I shagged him

and blank came in and laid next to me when I was still in the sheets naked and sat in the condom. That was, I was winding you up. It was a lie. Oh, mine were a lie as well then, Queenie. No, we were in Ibiza and I was winding you up. That was a bullshit lie.

I was giving her the eyes like, oh my God, he's sat in his cum. Slow. That was a full lie. I was giving her the eyes like, oh my God, he's sat in his cum. Slow. That was a full lie. Someone saying, when are you free? You put any time for you. When are you free?

She put, how about tonight? If I'm booking as a hotel, she put which one? As long as it's got a bed. Oh, this is bad. Can I just say something? I'm actually proud of Anna

because this is quite good for you, babe. Yeah, but if you need a context of who this was. I never give context to mine. It says, as long as this person put, as a context of who this was. I never give context to mine. It says, as long as this person put, as long as there's a bed, I don't mind.

No, I actually have to give context because it's funny. Anna put, I have expensive taste. The boy says, I have an expensive dick. She put, good job, this pussy's tight.

He said, it won't be tight when I'm done with you. How freaky are you? Anna put, it's Friday after all. Oh no, no you didn't. Oh, basically it goes on. Right, who is this?

Because, so me and Byron were out, we'd had a full bottle of wine, we were fucked. We were walking back down Deansgate, this random guy comes up to us and gives me a lighter with his phone number on, right? It's obviously a drug dealer's number. So I just thought, well, what am I going to do with this lighter now? So we just, when I was drunk,

I just added into my contacts and messaged him the next morning, I think when we woke up. Say, miss you, baby. Just put in miss you as a joke. And then he just started texting me and then he found my WhatsApp.

So I had to block him because he obviously wouldn't have figured out who I was. But he would say, we thought, he must have thought that Anna was someone else

because he was saying, miss you, like, when am I going to see you again? He was texting me as though I was someone else. So I was just going along with it. He was texting me as though I was someone else so I was just going along with it I don't know he was texting her as though like they'd met before but then we were doing it together as a joke like when we were all together as a group like me has an Anna like replying to this guy like we were pissing ourselves

Anna comes around by the next morning she's still been texting him when she's been on her own like she's just sat texting him still and he don't know who she is like they don't know what each other looks like don't know who they. He's a fucking drug dealer as well. And then I suddenly got a WhatsApp message like five hours later saying, now I know who I'm dealing with. And I was like, shit. So I just blocked him.

Awful, awful times. That is so funny. RBC Avion Visa lets you get there your way. Whether you want to... Suit up for peak ski season. Or... Spring break with a whole fam and a whole lot of sunblock. Or even...

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who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions, and that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. So this week we asked our listeners about stories and a sneaky link and like funny, casual hookup stories. So we're going to read some out for the first time.

Right. So the first one is, I'm 21. He's 42 and was my neighbour from 15 to 18 years old we met in the woods in the road and dot dot dot that sounds like me I'm 21

he's 40 that sounds like me I mean we met in the woods in the road yeah that doesn't make sense we met in the woods

in the road I imagine they just they just got to the woods in the road yeah that doesn't make sense we met in the woods in the road I imagine they just they just fucked in the woods that's kind of fun though yeah but it's her neighbour but what's weird as well is like

from 15 to 18 so like he saw her grow up from like 15 years old and then didn't sleep with her and he's still like 38 or whatever except for three years later

yeah but what I'm saying is that he knew her when he was like 38 and whatever. Except for three years later. Yeah. What I'm saying is that he knew her when he was like 38 and she's 15. So that's a bit weird, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? Like he's seen her grow up. It's more awkward

that he's her neighbour. Like what if she's like been it off? Oh, you can't. Well, your ASOS parcel gets delivered and you're not in. It's going to his house.

And it's going to have to go around here. And then mum's like, can you go pick it up? And you're like, mum, can you just do it? Then your mum's go pick it up and you're like mum can you just do it then your mum's gone for 20 minutes

and you're like I know why they're in the woods I don't think that's awful I don't think that's awful I feel like that's not common people tracking their neighbours

but like but also if they live next door maybe there's more to it maybe he has a wife so they can't why would you not just go next door why are both good at woods

my mum met my dad because they were neighbours and she met him in the woods and all probably yeah they met because they were neighbours so maybe it's actually

quite common not me knocking on my neighbours doors imagine me knocking on my neighbours door I've got a cute dog hey okay the next one

I was practising giving head before seeing my sneaky link and was sick and still met him better than being sick on him I mean yeah that

that's true I wonder what she was learning about her gag reflexes that bit that's for sure how was she practicing giving head how do you do that

yeah like how can she physically make herself sick oh but imagine she's got like a banana or like a vibrator that's about to say she's definitely got like a banana or like a vibrator she's definitely got like a banana

or something or yeah a vibrator what would be your food of choice for practicing her would it have to be a banana a banana or a cucumber

but a banana's got that sharp bit on the end the other like brown bit on the end of a banana maybe a cucumber cucumber's a bit more smooth I was going to say

I feel like it could slip in and out I'd say cucumber carrot's a bit pokey you know what I mean don feel like it could slip in and out oh I'd say cucumber carrot's a bit porky you know what I mean don't want to be giving no carrot did you ever practice babe?

no I actually didn't did you? no no I did did you? I've never done it I've never ever I've never done it

never no that's a virgin no I do you know what though I remember before the first time I ever did

I would I literally would I sat and watched a video because I was so scared when I was so young what of how like how to give head like a tutorial

tips and tricks who was doing that on YouTube oh babe there's so many videos do you remember those YouTube videos it's like how to kiss yeah

you've seen them you have to yeah yeah yeah it was like this one couple that always used to do it oh no no no no I must have not

no I'm not on about that person who are you on about I don't know I just used I just watched so much like I was so nervous oh god I used to practice

kissing my hand especially back of the head I was like way too scared yeah I practiced kissing on my hand before yeah I have definitely on my hand before yeah I have

definitely I don't know don't shame first kisses on hands that's a bit rude I just don't know if I've done that to be fair

I remember I kissed me and one of my best friends when we were younger we kissed to practice on each other before we would like go on dates with guys

not anymore obviously but like when we were younger you and a still me and my best friends no but like I swear my whole friendship group

we literally practiced with each other you've told me that before like yeah fully like we actually did that wow what do you mean you don't know about that one

you love keeping it in the friendship group apparently fucking hell full circle full circle of friends that's what I mean right

the next one is it's a little bit longer two months after I split from my ex no one was home so I thought sneaky link time so I picked up the boy

and everything was fine and when I went to take him home I had a flat tire so he had to change it but he couldn't so he had to phone my brother

who had to then come and help but he also had to meet my sneaky link couldn't so he had to phone my brother who had to then come and help but he also had to meet my sneak link that no one was meant to know about I wonder who she introduced him as probably just a friend

yeah that's quite easy to get yeah I think that's quite easy I mean to be fair you'd probably get home and your brother would be like who's that I know from my brother's yeah

well yeah because your brothers probably would know your friends yeah but then like they probably would know your friends. Yeah. But then they might not know that you're like sleeping with them. Might just think maybe you're just... Nah, they know. Yeah, they probably know.

He definitely knows. Why is the tyre flat as well? Why are you sleeping with them in the house or in the car? That's quite rogue for that to happen. I just drive with a tyre flat, mate. I wouldn't know how to change it. I sliced my tyre the other day. The car stopped. Oh, well, Queen, I'd be walking. Walking home.

Imagine. Sneaky link. Sorry, babe. Gotta walk home. But do you think your brother would actually be like, who is that? Do you think he'd care? Because you've got two older brothers. Oh, no, one younger, one older. Yeah, one older and one younger. Yeah, my brothers

would 100% be like who is that and they'd tell everyone in my family really yeah really yeah

actually I can imagine unless like if I I don't know if I said to my brother please don't tell anyone they wouldn't what if it were

your brother's friend if I'd set my brother's friend if it were your brother's friend your brother had to then change your attire and he's like oh my god mate what are you doing here and he's with you oh my god I'd be fucked do brother's friend. If it were your brother's friend, your brother had to then change your attire and he's like, oh my God, mate, what are you doing here?

And he's with you. You'd be fucked. Oh my God, I'd be fucked. Do you think it'd kick off then or do you think he'd just be like, oh. It would kick off. I feel like Jed.

Right there again. I don't know. Okay, right. I'm trying to act right. Younger brother Jed. So my younger brother would be more annoyed than my older brother.

Well, my younger brother would be more annoyed at me and my older brother would be more annoyed than my older brother. Well, my younger brother would be more annoyed at me. And my older brother would be more annoyed at his mates. But either way, they both would hate the situation. I feel like Jed would put it in the family group chat. Oh, yeah. I feel like he'd text straight away. He'd be straight in family group chat.

Like, oh my God, so weird. I'm not kidding. I can't even go on a date with a guy because Jed's like, oh, another boy. What about another guy? Like literally, it's so annoying. He thinks that I get with everyone.

You're just as bad as me. Apparently. Yeah, apparently so. But we never... I never even think you're bad. One minute you're a virgin, next minute it's this guy, this guy, this guy.

Oh, someone's telling the lie. No, my brother would be so annoyed. I don't know if he'd say something in that situation. No, he probably would. But say what? I don't know. Mate, what are in that situation. No, he probably would. But say what? I don't know. Mate, what are you...

Yeah. Not me. Mate, what are you doing? But how do you think you'd fit? Like, how would, like, your siblings... Oh, you have a really young brother. He's clueless.

My brothers would be so annoyed if I dated one of their mates. Like, fuming that. If my... Imagine if my brother's 19, like he's not going to be dating or I don't know, Anna's type is younger. Why am I dragged 24

times? Imagine you dating my brother. I always say it to you as a joke sometimes. What would you do if I actually wanted to tag Leon? Oh God, Lord. But I don't think I would. I don't know. I'd only find it weird because I wouldn't want to hang out with my brother all the time how would you react

if you saw me in the car with Leon? I'd be gobsmacked I think I'd faint I'd do a Julian McKeith on faint I would actually feel like I'd probably just be like I'd be so shot would you be annoyed?

would you be like what? in your car or his car? why does that make a difference? because I feel like if it's in your car then I'd feel like that make a difference because I feel like if it's in your car then I'd feel like I'd be a bit more like at you

like why are you picking my brother up but if he picked me up it's okay well then I don't know what I'd think I'd think why are you in my brother's

yeah I don't know why but I can imagine like it's like the scene like you in your little Range Rover with my brother in the passenger seat

my brother's got like one of them cars that makes like a really loud engine sound so you like swinging in the back of that like hair brother in the passenger seat. My brother's got like one of them cars that makes like a really loud engine sound. So you like swinging in the back of that, like hair blowing in the wind. It's a very different narrative. If you're in your car,

you could be going out for a nice sophisticated meal. If you're in my brother's car, I'd think you're going like rally racing around bloody countrysides or something. And then I would be thinking, Anna babe, one, why are you shagging my brother? Two, what the fuck are you doing with your life? Driving around in that.

Like, do you know what I mean? Can I just say that I think it wouldn't be, although it'd be really weird for you, if you lived at home with your brother and then Anna was doing it, I think that'd be weirder. Like, I think all the time that like, do you know what I mean?

Like if you lived with your siblings and then their friend or your friend dated them, I think that's when it becomes weirder. Well then, because when they come round... That's what I mean. They're not coming over to see you. They're coming over to see your brother. Yeah, no, I wouldn't like that.

That would be weird. I feel like I'm going to... If I see you with my brother, I'm going to be like, as if it's real. But I actually feel like now when I see you... At your mum's birthday, I'll be like, hi, Leon, you'll be like, get away.

So fucking sad. Imagine, you're seeing him like in a week. I know. Ew. Don't try it, bitch. He's going to be swinging him back and forth. God. Lord Jesus.

Send help. Right. So now we've like spoken all things, sneaky links, exes, relationships and stuff. To like round up this whole podcast episode, is there like one piece of advice

you'd like to leave with that you want to tell the people at home? I think if you're ever going to do anything with a stranger, let someone know or just tell someone, whether it's a close friend, just tell someone. Don't be ashamed like I would,

just tell them. So then if anything bad happens, Jeffrey Dahmer situation, people getting killed, don't want none of that. And also if you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel like you're in a porn movie, anything bad happens Jeffrey Dahmer situation people getting killed don't want none of that and also if you ever find yourself in a situation

where you feel like you're in a porn movie just be a fucking porn star do you know what I mean yeah like if the Domino's driver's looking a bit

sexy tonight invite him in if a man's in uniform go for it if a policeman tries to arrest you you've not committed a crime yet

live your best life be a whore well thanks for coming on and spilling way too much shit about me that you shouldn't have done I've enjoyed this episode I've learned a lot about

both of you actually I've quite enjoyed I feel like how do I not know half these stories I feel like my mum doesn't know half these stories as well

and that's what I'm concerned by yeah it probably makes sense as to why she doesn't know about them. They're probably better off left in the past. But like I now have more questions

that I'm going to ask you. Every podcast episode I ask you so many questions after. You do. I know. And now I know exactly what she's going to do. She's going to go Google words

on my freaking phone and the next episode she's going to bring them up. I am. This is when I'm deleting chats. Stay tuned for the next episode then guys episode she's going to bring them up. I am. This is when I'm deleting chats. Stay tuned for the next episode then guys. It's going to get juicy.

Remember, you guys can slide into our DMs with your own sex, lies and DM slide stories for us to read out on the next episode. And if we don't see you in our DMs, we shall see you next week.

Sex, Lies and DM Slides a spotify original podcast produced by spirit studios with raymond tanner and kate willis as the producers and from spotify the executive producer is rihanna coleman you you you you you you