Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 50. Is 2024 The Year of Male Vulnerability?

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

As we’re leaving January blues behind and looking ahead to the rest of the year, we thought we’d dive into the top predicted dating trends for 2024. From polyamory, to age-gap dating and is this the year where men will share more emotional side in their dating lives?? Watch now to find out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's go. Hi guys, welcome back to Sex Lies and DM Slides. It's a Thursday, which means it's time for another bonus episode. So in our last episode, we spoke about being delulue. Dating and delusions in relationships. I feel like it's a very trendy thing to be delulue at the moment. And we talk actually a lot about how much we like being delusional and actually how beneficial is to be delusional.

You're teaching me where you did it for that. Maybe I need to be more delusional, which I know probably does sound crazy. So if you're listening to this and you think, why would I want to be delusional? Go and listen to the episode and you're going to walk away and be like, I need to start being delusional. Yeah. You're going to understand why you're going gonna be a whole new person after tuesday's episode

yeah but as we are coming to the end of one of the coldest and maybe one of the most depressing months of the year which is january um and looking ahead towards the rest of the year we thought it would be good to like round off this month by talking about predicted dating trends in 2024 which I can I just say I find that baffling like how can we predict a dating trend I don't know but after research it's it's been done I would love to know like where they're doing this research with how many people like is it just with a group of like 10 people because I'm like I don't know some of them I find baffling but absolutely crazy let's go for the first one so the future is fluid many people are breaking up with their relationship styles in 2024 apparently 2023 saw a rise in a buzz around ethical non-monogamy

polyamory and traditional relationship approaches and it's predicted to continue in 2024 that's i just i find it great i think each their own i find it crazy i could never a hot i could never a hundred each their own but you're gonna laugh at me right this is so random the other night i was no you're in a three-way relationship aren't you i knew you and callum were getting close and his boyfriend no honestly right this is so bizarre i never thought i'd read this but the other night i was around freya's friends and she had this book that her uncle had basically wrote and it was a book about swinging right so very much so i was at like a party what party small gathering and i was sat there reading this book and it's called like memoirs at this gathering at this gathering right virus got a picture of me and i'm like deep into this book and it just says memoirs of swing on the front

it must have been such an interesting gathering that you was no i just reading the book in the corner i read the blurb and i thought oh that sounds quite good actually like i'm quite intrigued because i don't really know much about that like side of things so I was just really intrigued and then I ended up reading chapter two that I thought I should probably give her the book back now like I've sat here reading her book but I actually want to read it it was a really intriguing read okay in the sense of did it open your mind a bit more like what it opened my mind to in the sense of like I don't think a bit more like what it opened my mind to in the sense of like I don't think I quite realized how many people are actually into that and do that like

that I think I don't know like the first I properly heard about that was when we were on the cruise um so I feel like it was just interesting to read about it I personally not my thing I don't like I wouldn't be able to but it was a very interesting read up to chapter two. And I do, I want to finish the book. The thing is, yeah, I think a lot of us are just very stuck in our ways, aren't we? Like we just are. Like I don't care what anyone else does.

Like do what makes you happy. But I think I will always, I don't know, like else does like do what makes you happy but I think I will always I don't know like date how I date now like I don't think that's gonna change by anything that I read I don't know maybe me too no I think yeah I was more just reading it out of like curiosity curious yeah curiosity because the book started with like him going to his first like swingers meet and I was just like oh i just wonder how it goes down like i wonder like you said this girl's uncle wrote it yeah it's her uncle wow yeah oh i don't know if i'd want to be reading that about my uncle i'm not gonna lie

i'd originally that was like your uncle she went yeah she was like but like we had no idea i was like wow wow oh my god that's a real shock but real real real shock and the way the books wrote like it really intrigues you but yeah I will let you guys know if I end up finishing the book I'll let you know my thoughts but yeah I feel like I'm kind of like setting my ways and like I know how I'm always gonna be I mean maybe I don't I don't know but each their own with that one have no idea how they predict that though that is crazy i'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee up to five percent off orders and five percent uber cash back on rides not whatever you think university is for get uber one for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student join for just 4.99 a month savings

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okay the next one protecting your energy i completely agree with this 2024 is all about looking after ourselves our time and our energy it looks like 2024 will continue to see dating as part of our lives but not our whole life I love that I love that I feel like I net like I definitely have gone through phases where I've made dating my entire personality and my entire life um and it is hard because obviously our podcast is literally all about dating and boys and sex and but I really am trying to find like a balance now between like focusing hyper fixating and focusing on dating and like finding enjoyment in other things yeah absolutely I think I'm somebody who can like

easily slip into a relationship becoming my entire life and I think something my mum said to me my mum said this to me many times in my life um like even with my boyfriend going away and like you know obviously so extremely happy for him but obviously I was like so sad I'm like oh my god I'm not gonna see him like blah blah my mum was like Saffron you've literally lived 23 years without him like I know you guys love each other so much and you're amazing together but you can cope on your own like don't let it become the whole version of you be your own person and a relationship should add to that and so I think yeah I think it's more than just protecting yourself I think it's actually just falling in love with yourself like I think

that's the most important thing and I think yeah like a relationship and dating and stuff should only add something to your life and I think if it if it is becoming your entire life then I honestly do think that's a lack of like self-love and i don't know maybe self-discipline like i think you really do need to work on yourself she's back with the quote oh she is she's back and that is why long-distance relationships are great we are gonna do we're gonna do an episode of long-distance relationships guys yeah we're gonna have to it's gonna be that is actually why they are great, though. Because you do get to work on yourself and have your own time.

And you have your independence. You have your independence. And then when you come together, it's the most beautiful thing in the whole world. And you can be cold together. And it's a fairy tale. And you can be cold together. You can be cold together. There's actually a fact here.

It says Tinder found that 51 of surveyed young singles said they were open to new ways of fitting dating around their daily schedules i think that's quite okay yeah statistic to be fair i don't really i don't use tinder so i don't so yeah yeah i feel like each dating app has different, would be different in that survey. Isn't Tinder meant to have like a bit more of like a higher, like isn't the age group meant to be a bit higher than like Hinge? Really? See, I thought it would have been lower.

Really? I thought the people that were on Tinder were older than the people that were on Hinge. Maybe. I need that were on hinge like as maybe i mean find that out i would like to find out actually should i try and find it out i would in my head but maybe i just got this completely wrong because i'm like an avid hinge user that like tinder in my head is for like 17 18 year old so when you google it it doesn't it doesn't specifically say it just says that it's basically for all ages um but yeah i guess like you said you probably associate tinder with younger because i guess that's more for like not long-term things yeah tinder gives me like hookup culture but then i just can't i can't see like i have a lot of friends that have parents and i swear they're using tinder not hinge well now i'm thinking about my mom actually might

use tinder i can't remember what my mom uses what is julie using we need to know if she's using tinder i want to tell us does she not want something long term i think i think it is tinder because she got what she always is on and off the dating apps like she'll delete it and then she'll re-download it for like a night. I'll ask her. I'll ask her and get back to you guys. Okay. But the next one is cross-generational dating.

So another predicted dating trend is age gap dating. It says one in three women said they've become less judgmental towards age gap relationships within the past year. And 59% of women said they are open to dating someone younger. Wow. I'm dating someone younger. I never thought I'd see the day. I'm 23 now. I probably wouldn't date.

I wouldn't date anybody younger than 21. I don't like, I don't think. Yeah. Like what's the, I don't know. I don't, you're looking at me like you're really concerned

um i don't know i age honestly age has never really been a thing for me well especially older like i've never been bothered with how much older they are actually me and my boyfriend would talk about this the other day because he has a friend who has a huge age gap and i didn't think it was that crazy but he thought it was crazy um and he was like, what, you would date someone that was that much older? And I was like, yeah. He was like, that's so weird, like, blah, blah, blah. Like, that's mental, blah, blah. So I don't know.

I think maybe I just really look at age as a number. However, saying that, I do think guys tend, stereotypically, to be a lot more immature than girls at that sort of age. Actually, there is actually a... I can't remember what it... Oh, it's so annoying, because my friend's actually upstairs right now, and she told me a fact about guys,

and it was like they're eight years behind on the emotion. I thought it was four years mentally behind. Okay, I thought it was eight. She told me it was eight years oh eight is quite that's a lot yeah and i thought to myself wow like that's a lot that i think the thing with age gap dating right this is what i mean i fucking diagnose everything like i dissect it all i think if i dated someone younger but not like i don't mean like no let me turn that around if i dated someone older i'd be scared that if i was dating someone now who's like 28 they'd want they'd be a different stage in life to what i'm at and i'd be scared that like that would what that would make us clash

i think that's the only thing I get scared about with age gap dating is that we're not at the same time in our lives. But then if you want it to work, it'll work. My mum and my stepdad's age gap was crazy. Their age gap was 21 years. Yeah, that is a lot. It is though.

But like, the thing is, I completely agree with what you're saying 100% and it definitely is a lot more common to not be at the same stage in your life if somebody is so much older however it depends what somebody's done in their life because it I think it really depends on their career and stuff like you could be 20 and have brought out I don't know three number, I don't know, three number one, I don't know, albums, whereas you could be 30 and not have really done that much. Like, I really think it depends on the person. I think that's why I've never really been that bothered about age. Because I really think it depends what somebody's done in life. I don't really think age necessarily defines it but

saying that of course you know when you're 35 and you haven't had children you're more like you you know you're getting on like you need to probably have children soon otherwise you're freezing your eggs and stuff like that so I think in that sense like with children and family and stuff I think that's what I was thinking about it like in the sense of like if I was with a 30 year old would they want to have a kid now when i'm not ready and would that be the downfall of the relationship yeah yeah i mean i don't know what i don't know what the oldest i'd date is though maybe 30 no i don't know maybe 30 no that is no maybe a bit lower than that today really oh my god i would 100 date someone that was over than 30 i'd say maybe 28 would maybe be my max right now really wow that's so interesting like i think that yeah because i think like in my head i like i'm only 23 but like sometimes i still feel like such

a young little kid and if i was going on a date with someone they were like i'm 32 i'd be like like how am i getting this much older i'm going on a date with 32 year old yeah yeah do you know what i mean i get you like i don't know i do know what you mean yeah but also i don't know i would 100 i would date someone over yeah i feel like mine would probably be like 36 36 maybe really that's not that much well yeah i probably like i would like i but i just feel like it's so dependent on the person yeah so completely dependent on the person but then saying that i'm with a guy that's literally younger than me so exactly how does this happen i don't know but exactly let's go Exactly. Inspire, treat your friends or spoil your family, earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want.

That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash why amex terms apply. So money is a thing, but it's not everything. I think you really look at the importance of what are you doing with your time. The conversations that we've had with our financial advisor is very much building what that framework looks like that helps support those important things. The places where you're investing your time and your resources, your family clearly, and those closest to you. Edward Jones. We do money differently. Visit edwardjones.ca different the last one is male vulnerability and it says women are looking for men who are unafraid to

show their emotions and take a softer view on what masculinity means I'm all here for this I'm all all here for this my favorite thing about my boyfriend is that he always says how he feels he's not embarrassed to show his emotions like that to me is the most attractive thing about him me too I love stuff like that like I want my partner to be able to be open and honest all the time and be who they are because like I love them for that person I want that yeah I think that's like actually proper love as well when you feel like you can talk to somebody about anything and not get judged I think that actually is the like truest form of love I know like it's hard for a lot of people to do that especially with guys with them having to be yeah so masculine

but like I personally think is one of the most attractive things me too and as a I'm so here for that there's a fact here it says in a survey one in four men stated that they have actively tried to become more vulnerable and open with people they are dating and like what one in four that's amazing yeah we love that we hope that number keeps growing a hundred percent there's another one as well this is the last one it says it says a one in four people found this new founded openness improve their mental health with 32 percent of men citing being open and vulnerable the most important part of being in a relationship yeah i love that so much same and do you know what i actually think that is something we maybe have to thank social media i actually think social media

would have helped in this sense um because it's so preached on social media and everyone's encouraged yeah so i actually think and it's like nothing obviously people say things are cringe all the time but like you know how like in the last episode we were talking about like the gift giving and putting the roses out blah blah i feel like before social media you know your boy mates might have been like oh jesus christ mate you're obsessed with her blah blah now you post on social media everyone's like this is the nicest thing tagging their boyfriends like i actually think yeah i would like to think that actually social media might have helped in that and encourage people to be more open in that and also just all the mental health like um pages that we have now and things like that i i would like to think that that's actually helped

100% and I hope that like out of all these trends for 2024 I hope this one continues to like rise yes this is the one I'm like rooting for the most absolutely I love this one I feel like that's a lovely little way to to round off this episode yeah to this bonus episode thank you so much for listening everyone make sure if you do want to hear us being stupidly delusional you can go on this tuesday's episode absolutely and other than that we see you next tuesday for another episode bye guys