Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 52. Biggest Dating Lessons We’ve Learned

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

We’ve ALL made mistakes when it comes to dating and finding a romantic partner. In this week’s episode we asked you guys what are the most important dating lessons you’ve learned along the way and we’ve got some very fun and serious ones! You won’t want to miss this ep girlies! Xxx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's go. Hi everyone, welcome back to Sex Slides and DM Slides. It is Thursday, which means it is time for another bonus episode. So in our last episode, we actually spoke all things long distance relationships and the pros and cons of surviving it in general. But it got us thinking about just lessons in general that we've learned. We thought this would be a really good opportunity to ask you guys the question what's the biggest lesson that you've learned when dating and we have got some very fun ones very serious ones but very yeah some of them are very deep and some of them are just so funny super light-hearted so yeah there was this one that

me and anna both saw and we were like no this one is like we were both giggling to ourselves should we actually just start with it yes that's what i think so somebody put don't make it official until you've met their friends in case you end up fancying the friends more right kind of a slay kind of a slay because i can't say this is actually oh my god i'm lying this has literally happened to me no this has this has happened to you yeah this has happened to me before where i have fancied the best friend way more and it's okay because it worked out in my favor and the best friend also fancied me and i ended up with the best friend for a bit which was fun oh yeah yeah which no that isn't great guys i know

it doesn't sound great there's a lot more context the story than that the first guy ended up sleeping with his ex-girlfriend so he did the wrong he was a dickhead and did the wrong so then i did the right and got with the good guy but um no honestly sometimes i think that is so funny though not in like a serious way but like sometimes the friends are better looking yeah and i actually know this has happened to so many people i know so many yeah because like if you're not that serious it's so easy to end up fancying a friend more i matched this guy on hinge once right and i knew it was him that like i would swipe him because obviously he had loads of pictures of him but then he had a group picture of him and his friend his friend was fucking beautiful like my type to a t i was

golfing so i was thinking to myself oh my god i need to find this guy's instagram anyway so i matched him on hinge like the friend and he was like did you like do you know that you're matching me or did you do you fancy my friend more he literally opened with that line and i'm thinking so you obviously know your friend's really good looking then to take them off your fucking profile yeah but or is it because he knew that you'd match with his friend no i hadn't matched with his friend as in like i'd matched with him but like he because i'd liked the group photo i think he assumed that i fancied the friend and maybe i maybe thought it was him which is like i obviously knew it wasn't him but like i did fancy the friend but also yeah why have it on your profile then yeah just take it

off your profile like he's obviously got like that many messages about that very insecure and he probably had a lot of girls thinking that like it he was the friend if that makes sense which is probably why he opened with that line but right do you see what i'm saying but yeah so it was it was always pictures like him and his mates then all of them by one which is a bit of odd to begin with yeah probably should have seen that like I remember when I was in like before I was in a relationship and I would see like group pictures of guys and then then you realize it's not the one you think it is and you're like yeah gutted you always let down your life for fuck's sake yeah that was really good looking so that's what I agree

with that advice don't make it official until you've about the friends yeah um let's go i'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee up to five percent off orders and five percent uber cash back on rides not whatever you think university is for get uber one for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student join for just 4.99 a month savings make very eligibility and member terms apply the all all-new FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino is bringing you more action than ever. Want more ways to follow your faves? Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications. Or how about more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino.

Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. Let's go. Next one. See, I don't know how much I agree with this. I'm intrigued on your opinion, but run at the first red flag as they get worse as time goes on. I think if it's a proper red flag, yeah.

Yeah, I think it depends on what level the red flag is. If it's like something really serious, then 100%. But like if it's just a little thing that you think you can like work out or like work between you, then I don't necessarily think run. But then saying that I'm the queen of fucking running away from things as soon as I see one little ick. So I kind of do think if there's a red flag, you should run. Maybe we should agree.

Yeah, maybe we do agree with that advice. I think I agree with that, you know. Okay, run guys guys if you see any red flags before it gets worse out yeah because if you're seeing that that early on then that is very true that is very true maybe i'm in my head i was more thinking like beige flags but yeah if it's like a red flag then absolutely not this one as well this for me is so i don't know it's gonna be one for you as well how they treat the waiter and waitresses oh in restaurants a hundred percent i look out for that so much like if they're rude to the waiter or like a member of the public or like someone that's serving them it gives me the like one second hand embarrassment yeah same makes my skin cool but like i would say something

oh i would say something one million percent i would say something i think i'd say something and then end up like going quiet like i wouldn't really know how to continue the conversation because i think i'd be so like oh my god i can't believe you've just done yeah but i honestly feel like i'm the sort of person that'd be like i'm so sorry about him to the waiter oh you mean oh yeah yeah a hundred percent i mean i'd say sorry to him as well but i like i'm so sorry about him to the waiter oh you mean oh yeah yeah a hundred percent i mean i'd say sorry to him as well but i like i genuinely don't think i could help myself that i just don't like people that are rude i don't i think it's so uncalled for like you should just treat everyone the same way that you want to be treated love that advice tumblr quote is back in

business baby there is always someone else trying to get with the person you're with probably true yeah probably yeah i mean realistically but like that shouldn't affect your relationship no not at all in like if your partner is showing like no interest in them then that's just life like that's your own insecurities i think because like if like and also if you're with someone that's attractive on paper yeah of course people are gonna want to be with them yeah like you know it's just a given and as long as you've got that confidence and that trust in your relationship like don't let it bother you like at all like baby's yours yeah exactly like that's the most beautiful thing yeah everyone wants him but you've got him yeah exactly so that's yeah i think that's the mindset you should have so yeah i think that's true definitely but i 100 i really like this one

as well this one's really made me smile you have to read the whole book to get the happy ending you can't just skip pages oh my god that is so cute i love that because that is so true like in every story there's always going to be ups and downs like it's not always going to be perfect all the time but i love that because you're always going to get a happy ending i think that's what we were talking about kind of one of the last episodes are happy endings and stuff and like happy ever after but i love that that's so lovely that is so cute i love that god i'm gonna start saying that to my boyfriend let him wake up to that one send him that as a quote to wake up to if there's no trust there's no point agreed i think there's not much else to say on that but i just agree i agree i think you can love someone so much but if you've not got trust

i honestly think that is like 90 of a relationship you've got to have trust me too this one again to not waste my time on flaky men their energy reflects how they feel and they'll never change yes agreed i want a hundred percent or i don't want it at all no and it goes back to that whole like actions speak louder than words anyone can say you know oh no but seriously like i do love you and all this stuff like unless they're showing it if you're getting any mixed signals i've said this so many times in this podcast they're not that into you it literally is as black and white as that. They're just not that into you.

If they wanted to, they would. Exactly. Yes, babe. You know it. If they wanted to, they would. It's fucking easy to give words. Do you know what I mean? But actions speak way louder.

I just, the amount of my friends that I see and they're like yeah but like i really think they're gonna change or like yeah but like i i feel like they're probably gonna change for me and like they said they've never felt this way well they're not fucking showing it they're not showing no and also they shouldn't be changing for you they should be changing for themselves yeah exactly as well and it's just we'll leave it at the quote that you said i mean that's a good way to end that one on. This one as well. Don't change yourself too much for someone that makes you lose who you originally were.

Yeah, I love that. I like that one as well. I'm really enjoying all these quotes, guys. I think that's really easy to fall into as well. I think I've definitely not, no, I've never like fully done that because I think I've always been quite an independent part like I've always known what I've wanted and I've always been like I'm not going to change for

anyone blah blah but there's definitely been certain things that I've changed and I and I do think that's also healthy like I do think to be in a relationship to make it work especially if you are quite different people you do have to change little things but to change yourself so much for someone I kind of in a way think that's more like adapting to a new situation rather than like changing who you are which is nice you're just adapting to like the new situation that you've been put in let's go prime big deal days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members. Involuntary deal squeals can happen,

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I actually want to know your opinion on this, right? I wouldn't date someone who can't drive. How would you date someone who can't drive? Honestly, probably no. See, I've dated the two, like my situation with my with my ex both could drive but they didn't have cars so I think that's fine it is fine but I couldn't be passenger princess which was quite sad I can't lie I don't think for me it's about being passenger princess I think it's just like it doesn't take that too much effort to learn to drive and I think it makes you so much more independent it is crazy the independence you get once you can drive it actually is crazy I do think it's different if you live in like if you live in London I do think it is different because to be

honest maybe I wouldn't have learned to drive as young as I did if I lived in like if you live in London I do think it is different because to be honest maybe I wouldn't have learned to drive as young as I did if I lived in London to be fair so I feel like if you live in London there's kind of an excuse I kind of also get it in Manchester as well to be honest because like I have my car but like I could have not had my car like I had a car up here I didn't have a car for a year up here so i can't even fucking talk but like you can walk everywhere here yeah no that is true i do i do feel like cities is a bit different but i do feel like if you live in manchester you still you're i feel like you're less likely to stay in manchester all the time than if you lived in london you would like probably stay in london more if that makes sense yes yeah i do agree with you and like london

like you can go to the airport on a on a tube like you can't do that from manchester you can get on the tram oh i don't know i'm sorry just drive no that is the only thing with manchester parking this is so random but like parking is non-existent with flats like i have to pay extra for my parking and i was on a stupid wait list so i do have to try and think fair enough however i would prefer it if my partner could drive just for the ease of like i don't think i'd be like no i definitely could be with you i mean if i told my parents i think they'd be like that's weird saying that my younger brother still can't drive oh can Jess still not drive no which I find so bizarre like he does live in London and he does live in London so I get it now but it's like oh I don't know I just think you're never gonna drive

then are you like yeah I think it's better to do it whilst you're young to learn how you just get your license whilst you're young like when I turned 17 i was like i want the independence i like the second i could i learned to drive i was straight on it at 17 getting my car i was just so excited to be able to drive i get it is really expensive and if you live in like a big city but yeah i mean if i'm being actually honest i genuinely don't i genuinely don't think i could do it especially because i'm always in long distance relationship but they aren't I genuinely don't. I genuinely don't think I could do it. Especially because I'm always in a long distance relationship, but they aren't driving. I don't know how they're meeting me.

Yeah, for you, you need a car and your partner needs a car because you can't always rely on public transport nowadays with the fucking, it's awful. So every train gets cancelled ever. I love you means nothing if they don't back it with actions. Oh. Well, yeah, because I just think it goes back to don't back it with actions. Oh.

Well, yeah, because I just think it goes back to actually speak out of the words. But I don't think it means nothing. But at the same time, like, my boyfriend tells me he loves me every day. Obviously, he shows actions behind that too. But when he says I love you, it still means something. Does that make sense? Yeah, 100%. Just like a little bit of like... but when he says i love you it still means something that makes sense yeah 100 just like

a little bit of like i can't explain i understand what they're saying with the whole like just saying i love you but no actions behind it like if your partner was literally saying i love you and they're not bothering in any other aspect of the relationship then i yeah then i completely get it yeah 100 this one if something feels wrong then it probably is yeah that in a really weird way is like such a deep thing to actually think about but that is very true yeah if it feels like it probably is very very true god i come away from these podcast episodes rethinking everything in my life after hearing everybody's advice no i know i know oh this one's sweet it's not about what the boy looks like it's about the boy's heart i like that one because looks fade they do

a hundred percent looks very but their personality and the heart is always going to be there so i love that this one isn't on here but i'm just gonna add this one for myself oh okay i'm really surprised that no one's put this on here but i think having the same love languages makes a huge difference if you don't have the same love languages i really think a relationship won't work i've never thought about that before but that is so true because i feel like i've known people to be in relationships where the love languages are different and they just can't compromise no it's like if you're not affectionate you it's so hard to like try and be affected yeah if the other person really needs that yeah and if you are really affectionate you're always going to have a problem with them not being affectionate a hundred percent so that is so true

that wasn't on there by the way yeah i've not seen anybody bring that one up actually um and the last one the way the family treats you is just as important as how he treats you yeah of course i think that goes without saying yeah i think that again i think to be fair all of these go without saying i'm i'm just gonna sit and scroll through this question box and rethink everything about every relationship honestly you guys give the best advice like thank you so much every time we ask for like questions or whatever everyone pulls through like everyone they do we love it we really do love it so thank you guys for listening to this little bonus episode we hope it's given you some inspiration

yeah if you haven't listened to choose this episode we obviously spoke all things long distance it's a lot longer episode and we really go into it about my experience um and yeah i just really enjoy the episodes if you haven't seen it why are you laughing at me i'm happy to be here good good so you. So you should be. So you should be. I hope all of you are that are listening right now. Me too. We've made it this far. Thank you. Yeah, and we shall see you guys next week.

Bye, guys. Bye.