Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 56. Weirdest Ghosting Excuses

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

Dating is not for the weak - especially when it comes to dealing with ghosting & relationships ending. But sometimes people give the absolute weirdest reasons as to why they do it… So we’d thought it’d be a perfect opportunity to look at the craziest reasons why people have ghosted, broke up with someone or rescheduled a date and we debate whether they were valid reasons or just absolute rubbish! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hi everyone welcome back to sex lies and dm slides it's thursday which means it is time for our bonus episode so in our last episode we spoke about common sex myths and discussed the truth around it so in this bonus one we thought we would discuss excuses and whether these are valid excuses or reasons to reschedule ghost or break up with someone i feel like this is a good episode as well leading from last week when i was obviously spoke about the porn addiction being an excuse um to leave so we thought we'd discuss some others by the way have you ever had to give an excuse to ghost or reschedule someone because i actually don't know if i have like not a day i actually

don't think genuinely i've ever rescheduled a day oh god i have but then i'd gone on that minute it's like if i'd sign myself up to it i feel like it's because i really like this person so i'm not like i'm not i'm genuinely not rescheduling i don't think i ever have in my life i've done it out of nerves though, because I was just too nervous to go. And then I've like, after reschedule. Oh, you let that stop you? I did it with my ex.

I literally reschedule, like we had a date and I came up with a lie and said I can't because I was too nervous to go. Oh my God, no way. So yeah, nerves sometimes just, I think it's,

I've dated loads. Like I don't even know really why I'm that scared, but yeah, sometimes nerves just get the better of me so I definitely have the first before you'd met him yeah the first time I cancelled on him because I was nervous so I may I can't actually remember what I said I think I said I had something with work or something I didn't I was just too nervous oh my god wow yes I have came up with some excuses, unfortunately. Okay, right. So I'm going to read up some excuses.

Okay. And we can say, yeah, whether or not they're valid. Okay. So imagine you're going on a date with someone you really liked, been speaking to. This is the first excuse. Something urgent's come up at work and I need to stay late. Fine. I don't know but it depends how like last minute this excuse was like yeah well yeah i'm gonna be more pissed off if i'm ready to leave or if i'm mid getting ready

like yeah definitely if it was earlier in the day and someone said this to me i think okay maybe it's a little bit more believable i don't know i don't know i don't know oh yeah i think there's something urgent's come up but then it's like i need to stay late i well i think i just think you can give a bit more context yeah and it a hundred i'd be like oh what's happened and if they came up with a massive lie i'd just be like oh i can't yeah and if they came back though something that sounded believable like uh i don't i don't know are we all about first date or like a couple i think first date okay first day i think i'd just be like they just don't want to see me third or fourth day i think maybe it is actually legit like if they're going to give me a reason

and i know what their job is yes yeah yeah yeah then i get it more but i think these are more for like first days okay um i'm feeling under the weather and don't want to risk you getting sick that i i would literally think is bullshit i believe the first one more than the second i would just write a message about being like okay i appreciate you not wanting me to get ill um thank you or something like that and i just would then wouldn't continue the conversation I would just write a message about being like, okay, I appreciate you not wanting me to get ill. Thank you or something like that. And I just would then wouldn't continue the conversation. Yeah, I really wouldn't believe like feeling under the weather.

Unless you're dying in hospital, you can still make it to that day. Yeah, because I feel like they're trying to be like nice. I don't want you to get sick. Like I don't want you to get ill. Yeah, like trying to twist it. No, I'm trying to twist it round. Like sugarcoat it. Yeah, I'd wave off the work one yeah okay a family emergency has come up and i need to attend to it

see this one's tricky because i'd be too nosy and i'd want to know what the family emergency is but then i also couldn't ask what the family emergency is because that would seem a little bit rude maybe i actually think i would let this one slide i think not many people are sure i mean i couldn't allow myself to make up like i don't know something bad's happened to a family member or something so i feel like i'd more likely believe it yes me too i feel like you have to give them like the benefit of the doubt with that excuse because it actually could be legit and if it's not then and you're making it like if it's not like if it wasn't real and you were just lying and you said that i'd be a bit like oh i don't really like that excuse like that wouldn't sit

well with me yeah i feel like that one first one i believe this one i mean i don't even think they'd get a response i planned with someone else well i just don't even think i'd be responding yeah i'd be like well you, you should. I wouldn't reply to that. No. Like, there's no way. That is the worst excuse ever. You're never getting a reply again.

I'd be embarrassed to say that. Yeah, so would I. And then we've got, well, I guess you could be like, I'm sorry, I forgot we had plans. I made other commitments. Again, no. Again, like, why you forgot we had plans. So you didn't really care that much anyway if you forgot we had plans so you didn't really care that much anyway if you forgot we had plans yeah no no honestly this person is never getting a response again yeah i'm not happy with that excuse no no that is how can you forget like that is the

worst thing you could ever say i would like if i'm going on a date believe me i know when i'm going on that date like i'm not forgetting when I'm going on that yeah and if you're forgetting the first date or even if this is the second or third I mean you yeah you literally don't care the all-new FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino is bringing you more action than ever. Want more ways to follow your faves? Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications. Or how about more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs.

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I feel like a lot of times people don't even give reasons for ghosting. Neither, to be honest, because then it's not technically ghosting. No, but I guess it's maybe like you've just disappeared off the face of the earth and this is their response okay to ghosting you so you're like what the fuck which is that this happened to me and that guy lost his phone charger do you remember oh shit that is very true actually so it literally could be like same thing i messaged like what the fuck you've disappeared off the face of the earth and this is the response okay the phone charger one terrible um i'm dealing with some personal issues right

now i need my time alone oh it's so hard i mean i like it sounds really mean but i think i would i i wouldn't believe it i don't think i wouldn't believe it really to be honest it's probably better than some excuses like because yeah to be fair you know we all do go through personal things and i do think it's very common for somebody to get excited and rush into something and then be like fuck actually i can't do this a hundred percent that like that excuse is given like it's me not you yeah that's kind of what it's giving yeah i get it i get it like i probably to be honest well i haven't get like ghosted and gave someone that um reason but i have used something along those lines so yeah yeah and was you personally going through something or just

really no no well i not like i was personally going through something i just didn't want a relationship with that person so i just didn't know how to politely say i don't really feel like there's many better excuses i feel like it's probably on one of the better ones better yeah it's definitely one of the better ones um my phone has been acting up and i lost all my contacts i mean that's just a load of bollocks that's giving i lost my phone charger so it's giving i lost my phone charger yeah there's that's a no that's a no have you read the next one my phone died over the weekend i just got a chance to recharge it oh my god no actually what like no i sorry. Talk about a load of bollocks. In this day and age, I am sorry.

If your phone dies, everyone's first response is, I'm going to go find a charger. Yes. And, yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm not even going to use the example, but, like, how often is it someone goes camping in the middle of the field and doesn't have access to somebody else's charger? Yeah, you're going to make sure your phone will be be charged you can go to a restaurant and they'll put your phone on charge yeah so your phone died over the weekend did it all right where where were you over the weekend that's what i want to know yeah it's a load of crap um so ridiculous um i lost my phone

and all my contacts i couldn't reach out i mean it's same thing same thing I mean of course I know some people do lose their phones but like I just I mean yeah if you've lost your phone I'd I'm that sort of toxic I'd be like you've lost your phone like find me on Instagram on somebody else's phone and message yeah yeah do you know what I mean because if I was speaking to somebody I would do that yeah that's what I'd do. A hundred percent. So. Let's go.

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I've been really sick and I didn't want to burden you with it again no you would say i'm not feeling very you just say yeah you just say you're not feeling i don't know again like even if like you were speaking to them a lot less because you were sick and like you wasn't on your phone you would give someone the heads up yes so again not vibing with that excuse and final one i'm dealing with a family crisis and i can't talk about it right now that i would probably say is the best one that again i feel like that is the best one because i wouldn't question that no like i'd just be like okay that's fine so again out of all of them that is best one. The phone ones are horrendous. So bad. But this isn't a reason for boys to start saying this to girls

when they just want to go. Yeah, literally. Okay, and then breakup excuses, okay? God, these ones are going to be awful. I'm trying to think of things that I've said when I've broken up people. But to be fair, actually, I think I've just always been very honest i've never like okay let's just read them i need time to focus on myself and personal growth oh i've said that before and it's true so i can't say anything about that yeah i and do you know what like i think that is a valid reason sometimes you do like sometimes

you are in something and you realize actually i'm not ready for something and i think that is so fine early on and also yeah because it's i think you can see two sides like a relationship is meant to be great because you can grow together as well i think that's what's so amazing is like i think the best relationships are people that are independent and have such self-love when they come together it's really special so i get if you wanted to grow grow by yourself yeah also I don't think being in a relationship would stop you doing that personally unless you're in a very toxic relationship I do but then like I was in I wasn't in a toxic relationship at at all and I just felt like I wasn't ready to be in a relationship like I just felt like I still had like personal growth

and like self-love that I needed to gain before I could give that back to someone yeah that makes sense but again I think that's because it's early on yeah I think early on what if it was like a year and a half into the relationship yeah a year and a half into relationship is different yeah mine was very early on still so yeah it yeah that definitely makes sense early on yeah okay the next one I feel like we're heading in different directions in life this I actually think is so valid sometimes that just is how life works out especially like if you've been together since you were like kids like 14 and then you get to like 20 and you both want completely different things yeah because you like all of us change so much

growing up it's funny the amount of like comments i know me and you have received this over the years where we've shared our life since we've been so young the amount of like you've changed is crazy but obviously we're going to change of course we're growing up like we can't we can't be the same like 14 year old kids that we were no on youtube because we're adults now exactly i'm sure if all i know but i'm sure if those people look back at themselves when they were 14 they'd think like god i've changed that much as well yeah it's just growth so yeah i completely i can get behind that one yeah i can get behind that one i'm not ready for a serious relationship right now i mean it's like why did why did i don't know i do feel like this kind of excuse i feel

like that's i get people feeling like that but to get yourself into a relationship and to break up saying that I feel like you kind of know you know what you've signed up for and it's I think it's clear that that's just an excuse yeah I would be very upset if I was with someone and then they turn around and said I'm not ready for a serious relationship like I just don't think that's a good excuse because then why have we gone through the full yeah why have we gone through the full talking stage and everything like like if you're saying it whilst you're talking to each other and you're like just to let you know i don't i'm not looking for a serious relationship that's different completely fair but if you're actually with someone yeah it purely is you don't like them enough that's yeah um it's not you it's me i mean i feel like we've all done this we have all done this guys

it's a very common excuse sometimes there is truth behind it yes sometimes people can be perfect they're just not the one for you yeah and that is fine so yeah i i mean i can't argue with that because i probably have used that one in the past and final one I feel like you've used this one I need space to find myself I have found that one guys I just had a few relationship issues in my head that I feel like with but then it was my first relationship so for like everyone like you have to experience lots of different things and situations and relationships and yeah I have used that before so I literally can't say anything okay well as a whole I mean excuses aren't really working on me and Anna that well is what I think I've learned no and I have used one too many of those breakup excuses which

I've realized but um I actually don't really think I have I think that I feel like we're heading in different directions in life maybe yeah I think I know I think that's valid the ghosting ones are awful I'm sorry the phone ones the phone ones are just terrible yeah I will just never get over that but overall well we've probably just given people like 15 excuses they can use now yeah so enjoy this guys they're all shit to be fair they are all shit but they might some of them might work so you're welcome if you need an excuse use one of these okay so that's all for today thank you so much for watching this episode and be sure to check us out on socials and subscribe to our pod on spotify so you don't miss out on all of the gossip and we shall see

you on tuesday for our next episode bye everyone bye